Chapter 1: Why?
Hina/Takemichi: We are in love with you, Mikey.
Mikey: Um… okay… in the romantic way, right? Not familial? You actually are in love with me?
Mikey, bamboozled as he looks at himself: Why.
Chapter 2: Is your refrigerator running?
Ran & Shion, prank calling: Is your refrigerator running?
Taiju, paranoid: How did you know I had a fridge?
Chapter 3: Takemichi whenever he thinks that he will finally get a happy future for everyone(yes, that includes Mikey)
Takemichi: Finally~ Solved everyone’s issues and nothing seems to be in urgent need for care. I can finally get some well deserved rest…
*looks up to see a whole in the sky and jelly bean figures falling like rain*
Takemichi: *heavy breathing*
Chapter 4: I want it that way
Kakuchou: *listening to a YouTube video* You are my fire...
Mucho, quietly: The one desire...
Izana, half-asleep: Believe when I say...
Shion, not looking up from his phone: I want it that way.
Ran: *bursting in* TELL ME WHY...
Everyone, unenthusiastically: Ain't nothin' but a heartache.
Ran: TEEEEEELLLLLL ME WHY...
Everyone: Ain't nothin' but a mistake.
Ran, pointing at Rindpi: Now Rindou!
Rindou: I never wanna hear you say...
Everyone: I want it that way.
Emma, from the other room: So those are your kids?
Mochi: *sitting across from her, aggressively downing his tea* Those my kids.
Chapter 5: It's the final countdown
Chifuyu, before Toman vs Kantou fight: It’s the final countdown! Just like they always sung about!
Chapter 6: My name, my address, my-
South: A lot of things changed after I got that girl pregnant.
Izana: Like what?
South: My name, my address, my-
Chapter 7: Choji and his rats are back
*Choji and Kazutora at the pet store*
Kazutora: Why don't you get something cute and lovable - like a goldfish or a parakeet??
Choji, with a handful of pet rats: Too late, I've already picked names
Chapter 8: Intelligent life
Naoto: Do you think there's intelligent life beyond earth?
Mana: You say that as if there is intelligent life here on earth.
Chapter 9: But I love...
Sanzu: Mikey, I love you
Mikey: But I love Kenchin
Draken: But I love Mitsuya
Mitsuya: But I love Yuzuha
Yuzuha: But I love Hina
Hina, turning to Takemichi: But I love you
Takemichi: I love you too
Chapter 10: Anytime
Peh-yan: Thanks for hearing me and just not responding.
Shion: All good, bestie. Anytime.
Chapter 11: Food truck
Rindou, pulling next to Angry with a Ferrari: Hey there, beauti–
Angry: If you're trying to impress me with your vehicle, it better be a food truck.
Chapter 12: Autocorrect is back
Kisaki: I'm bi
Hina: What'd you say?
Kisaki, panicked: Sorry autocorrect, um bye!
Takemichi: Wtf is autocorrect?
Chapter 13: My will to live
Emma: Name one thing you wished was real but isn’t.
Mikey: My will to live.
Emma: ... Okay, but I was thinking more along the line of unicorns.
Chapter 14: Pretty dumb
Shion: I'm pretty but dumb
Mucho: What he means to say is: He's pretty dumb
Chapter 15: Quit telling people I'm your therapist
Taiju: Hey you want to hear something funny my therapist said the other day?
Mitsuya: Quit telling people I’m your therapist
Chapter 16: Weed
Naoto: We got a call that you had pot in your car.
Hanma: *pulls out flower pot* Oh, you mean this?
Naoto: *laughing* My mistake, what are ya growing?
Chapter 17: Bonten Mikey & Manila Mikey meet each other
Bonten Mikey: Who are you?
Manila Mikey: I'm you but with black hair
Chapter 18: You fucking nerd
Ran: Where were you so late last night, Kazushi?
Yamagishi: I was at a party smoking weed
Rindou: Don't lie, you were at the library you fucking nerd
Chapter 19: Good
Sanzu, to Senju and Baji: Guys, Mikey is missing.
Chapter 20: What did you do?
Hanma: You know, my favorite kind of science is the kind that starts with “I wonder what happens if I...”
Mochi: What did you do?
Chapter 21: This is what really happened in the Bonten timeline
Mikey:* falls off the roof, crashing into the bed of a pick-up truck*
Kazutora, not taking his eyes off the road: Hey, Mikey
Mikey, casually sitting up: Hey
Chapter 22: One hour is already too much
Ran: This has been a long day, I’m going to bed.
Smiley: It’s 9am, You’ve been awake for an hour.
Chapter 23: Sorry, I'm still suprised
Emma: Me, Hina and Takemichi are dating.
Hina: Takemichi, come on.
Takemichi: Sorry, I'm still surprised.
Chapter 24: You cheated...
Shinichiro: You cheated... And yet, still got every question wrong.
Baji: So, technically doesn't that mean I shouldn't be punished?
Chapter 25: You have a face
Mucho: You have a face.
Takuya: Yes, yes I do have a face.
Mucho: I mean you have a nice face.
Takuya: ....Thank you?
Mucho: Please understand that I'm flirting with you, because I don't know what I'm doing.
Chapter 26: I think you know
Choji, touching his pocket: Hey Bo, what would you say if I found a cute mouse and brought them home?
Chonbo: What's in your pocket?
Chonbo: Choji, what's in your pocket?
Choji: I think you know.
Chapter 27: hi.
Emma: Oh god, he texted you ‘hi.’ Punctuation only means one thing, Takemichi. He's mad at you
Takemichi: No, it's Sanzu! He's just being grammatically correct!
Sanzu: And then I used a period so he'd know that I'm mad at him
Hina: A period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'
Sanzu: I stand by my choice
Chapter 28: You owe me 20 dollars
Takemichi: I love you.
Mikey: I love you too. I've waited so long to hear you say that.
*Takemichi and Mikeu kiss passionately*
Taiju, to Mitsuya : You owe me 20 dollars.
Chapter 29: Merry crisis
Shion: It’s Christmas! Are you all in a Christmas mood?!
Mochi: Merry crisis
Ran: Jingle bells, jingle bells, single all the way.
Rindou: Hoe hoe hoe.
Shion: Guys, please.
Chapter 30: Private talk
Hina: Can I have a private talk with you?
Mikey: Okay, as long as it’s not about tampons because I just don’t understand them.
Chapter 31: Slinkies
Choji: Some people are like slinkies.
Choji: Relatively useless, but they still make you smile when you push them down the stairs.
Kazutora: Please don't push Hanma down the stairs.
Choji: I won't promise anything.
Chapter 32: Would you PLEASE STOP?!
Emma: *trying to talk to Draken* So uh Draken what do you like to do?
Mikey: He likes bikes
Emma: *nodding* So Draken uh what else do you like to do besides bikes?
Mikey: He reads comics
Emma: *to Mikey* Would you PLEASE STOP?!
Chapter 33: Not to be dramatic
Senju: You know what strength is? Forgiving a person who isn’t even sorry.
Chifuyu: Not to be dramatic but I would literally rather die.
Chapter 34: That guy wasn't even a doctor
Mikey: I got my ankles microwave
Mikey: They took my blood for them to use for science
Mochi: Cholesterol test
Mikey: Ran had his sinuses removed
Sanzu: Looked at
Mikey: Some guy looked at my weaner...touched it...that was weird
Takeomi: That guy wasn't even a doctor
Chapter 35: Handy dandy mask
Kakuchou: I told you never to show your face here again.
Sanzu: That's why I have this handy dandy mask!
Chapter 36: It's a work in progress
Ran: Where are we?
South: Somewhere in the woods, probably about to be eaten.
Rindou: Wasn’t Kakuchou teaching you how to be reassuring?
South: It’s a work in progress.
Chapter 37: Onesies
*everyone is watching the Wakasa & Benkei vs Taiju fight*
Senju: Oh, no! The technique they are about to use can kill Taiju!
*everyone looks worried*
Koko: Wait...since when were they wearing onesies?!
Inui: What? *looks at the trio just to realize that Koko was right*
Takemichi: Where they got them?
Angry: Naho-nii! I want a shark onesie like Taiju!
Mitsuya: I probably should do bear onesies like Benkei's for my sisters, they would love it for sure
Ran: Is Wakasa's a leopard or cheetah?
Yamagishi: I think it is a leopard since it fits with his tittle of White Leopard
Rindou: Makes sense
Chapter 38: Unofficial roommate
Mikey: I think misery doesn’t even think of me as company anymore. I’m an unofficial roommate.
Chapter 39: Pets
Blame this on carriejack03 because she posted something about TaiTakeKokoInui with pet play and it doesn't leave my head
Takemichi, humming while patting Inui's head and reading a book: Hmm? Do you need something, Fuyu?
Chifuyu: ...Why is Inui wearing a collar and acting like a dog?
Takemichi: Oh! Sei-kun loves to be a good boy, don't you? *looks at Inui who nods his head enthusiastically*
Chifuyu: Doesn't Hina feel uncomfortable with this?
Takemichi: Why would she? Hina has gotten a cute kitten too *points to the other side of the room
*Chifuyu looks to where Takemichi is pointing just to see Hina patting Koko's head as he drank the milk Taiju gave him*
Chifuyu: You know what? I will just take a page out of Mitsuya's book and ignore all this
Chapter 40: I swear to Shin-nii I’ll kill you
Mikey: What if the only reason we can’t walk through mirrors is because our reflection blocks us?
Baji: What if they’re protecting us though?
Mikey: Oh! Like, what if they know that the other side is horrifying and painful and they are trying to keep us from crossing over?
Baji: I must be on the wrong side of the mirror, then.
Sanzu, glaring down from the top bunk: If you both don’t shut up and go to sleep, I swear to Shin-nii I’ll kill you.
Chapter 41: ME!
Shinichiro: I hate when kids scream in public.
Shinichiro: You don't have any real problems! It should be me screaming! ME!
Chapter 42: Tax evasion can be explained
Grandma Hanagaki: I think tax evasion can be justified
Grandma Hanagaki: Sure there's a potential legal penalty and it's morally questionable but more money!
Shinichiro: Ma'am this is a bike shop
Chapter 43: Caught up on being gay
Takemichi, about Mitsuya: Sometimes I get so caught up on being gay that I forget I’m actually bi.
Chapter 44: Who wants to be a millionaire?
Koko: PITCH: "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" but the contestants are billionaires so it's more of a threat.
Chapter 45: I was put on this earth to do one thing
Pah-chin: I was put on this earth to do one thing.
Pah-chin: Luckily I forgot what it was so I can do whatever I want.
Chapter 46: Looked at the world and said nope
Senju: The first cicada of the season just walked itself right into my fire pit. 13 years under ground looked at the world and said nope.
Chapter 47: You'd look better in me
Draken: Takashi, do I look good in this shirt?
Mitsuya: You’d look better in me.
Chapter 48: Let me stop you there
Mana: If the opposite of 'pro' is ‘con’
Luna: And the opposite of progress is congress
Mana: Then the opposite of constitution is-
Naoto: Let me stop you right there
Chapter 49: I know, I just want to hear you say it
Yamagishi: Oh, man, she's so cute! Do you ever just think about someone, then get sad when you realize you'll never have them?
Senju: We are literally lovers, Kazushi.
Yamagishi: I know, I just want to hear you say it.
Chapter 50: But for you I'd make an exception!
Emma: Don't tell him NOTHING-
Random Guy: Shut up kid! You're lucky I don't hit girls.
Emma: Me neither...
Emma: But for you I'd make an exception!
Chapter 51: Conspiracy boyfriend
Chifuyu: Things my conspiracy boyfriend let's me do; listen to his theories and comment on them
Chifuyu: Things he will not let me do; suggest an even wilder theory on the same topic
Chapter 52: Russian doll
Baji: You remind me of a Russian doll.
Hanma: Aw, thank yo—
Baji: Full of yourself.
Chapter 53: Why are you like this?
Takemichi: Don't worry about me Draken, I can take South no problem!
Wakasa, joking: In a fight?
Takemichi, a smirk appears on his face:...
Draken, disturbed: In a fight, right?!
Takemichi, pretending innocence: I just remembered I have stuff to do, bye!
Wakasa, amused: I think South might be his “Stuff to Do.”
Draken: Why are you like this?
Chapter 54: Do you want to stay after?
South: Do you want to stay after?
Yuzuha: We better get to know each other better
South: If you get to know me better, you'll never want to see me again
Chapter 55: They all upset me
Mitsuya: I don’t have a favourite kid. They all upset me
Chifuyu: What is Angry’s favourite animal?
Mitsuya, instantly: Shark
Peh-yan: And what’s mine?
Chapter 56: I know now
Important question: Do you guys want me to make/add incorrect quotes that involve Y/n?
*Wakasa flirting with Takeomi*
Wakasa: So *leans against the wall* you come here often.
Shinichiro: You do kno-
Wakasa: I know now
Benkei: You know what
Takeomi: The wall is freshly painted
Chapter 57: Sorry
Taiju: I mean, come on. let’s just hug it out. Come on, hug it out
Koko: Alright, who took my wallet?
Chapter 58: You
Takemichi: What's the most annoying thing you have heard
Chapter 59: Don't bother
Baji: I got an idea!
Chifuyu: Does it involve breaking the law?
Baji: By now don’t you think that’s a given?
Chifuyu: I was just trying to be optimistic.
Baji: Don’t bother.
Chapter 60: It was very deep
Mikey: Shin.nii! I thought you were dead!
Shinichiro: No, just in deep cover.
Emma: ...But it was an open casket.
Shinichiro: It was very deep.
Chapter 61: Poor Izana
*the elevator door closes*
*Emma slams Hina against the wall and kisses them repeatedly*
Hina: Can’t we wait til we get to our floor?
Emma: Nope. You’re too intoxicating. Need. You. Now!
*Emma straddles Hina’s waist, moans escape her lips as the doors open*
*Izana stares in shock*
Izana: I will…uh…take the stairs.
Chapter 62: Izana wouldn't hurt a fly
Yasuda: I'm not gonna lie, Shion, I'm kinda scared of your boyfriend.
Shion: Oh, Izana? Izana wouldn’t hurt a fly!
Yasuda: Okay, that’s reassuring-
Shion: He would kill a man though.
Chapter 63: Sure, she is worried because of that not because of all the rest
Hina: Takemichi I’m a little concerned
Takemichi, covered in bruises and knife wounds: Is it because I’ve been wearing these jeans for seven months straight? I’m gonna wash them this weekend
Chapter 64: Myself
Kazutora: I am done, I am so done
Hina: With who?
Chapter 65: People treat me like a god
Akane: You know, people treat me like a god
Akane: They ignore my existence unless they need something
Chapter 66: This is torture
Izana: *stares at his boyfriend longingly*
Shion: *stares back with soulful eyes*
Emma: This is torture. I did not consent to this.
Mikey: It's either this or we go back to them cuddling on the couch. No one wants that kind of sweetness in the morning.
Chapter 67: Describe a teacher in one sentence
Akkun: Can anyone describe a teacher in one sentence?
Makoto: A person who helps you solve problems that you'd never have without them
Takuya: Makoto no-
Chapter 68: We are not the same
Kazutora, to Draken about Emma: You’re in her dms
Kazutora: I’m helping her bury a body
Kazutora: We are not the same
Chapter 69: RanSouth being Tora's parents in juvie
Ran: If you attempt to rob a bank, you will have no trouble with food, rent, or bills for the next 10 years regardless of your success
Kazutora: But what if you died during the robbery?
South: Then you'd have money for the rest of your life
Chapter 70: Expectation without love
*in the middle of the night, talking about their families*
Kisaki: Well, I think in certain ways they tried the best they could didn’t they?
Mitsuya: No, I don’t think they did.
Kisaki: I- I don’t really remember. I- I… they expected quite a lot of me, but isn’t that what- doesn’t that… didn’t that make me great?
Mitsuya: Expectation without love. What’s that?
Chapter 71: Wait
Sanzu, smugly, after security arrives to escort Senju and Takemichi out: So, do you wanna walk out of here or do you wanna be carried out? Senju, in defeat: Let’s go.
Takemichi: I’d kinda like to be carried out...
Chapter 72: ...Not that you should do it
Ran: I still can’t believe you got someone like Angry, like how? He’s so adorable and so different from you
Mikey: …Not that you should do it
Chapter 73: You smoke?
Takeomi: A pack of newports, and thirty on pump 8
Wakasa, coming up to the counter behind him, arms full of snacks: You smoke?
Takeomi: You have diabetes?
Chapter 74: Dom duties
Taiju: *cries*I have nothing left
Inui: *consoles him* Taiju no, you still have your Dom duties, come back here
Chapter 75: Hakkai no
Ran: I am going to make you regret ever being born.
Hakkai: Bold of you to assume I don't regret it already.
Mitsuya: Hakkai nO.
Chapter 76: Ok, Such
Mikey: Shinichiro put me in charge, so I'm the leader and you'll refer to me as such.
Emma: Ok, Such.
Chapter 77: Fuyu manipulating Michi be like
Chifuyu: Pull into that McDonald's Michi, I'm hungry
Takemichi: We have food at h-
Chifuyu: Remember when I died
Takemichi: *ordering* Yeah, we’ll have two big macs-
Chapter 78: Act like you never saw that
Draken: *just relaxing in bed reading a book*
South: *climbs in through the window falling face first to the floor*
South: Act like you never saw that
Chapter 79: Cup of tea
Hina: I don't know, it's not my cup of tea.
Naoto: Well then whose is it?
Hina, staring at a cup of tea: I don't know!
Chapter 80: I'm your best friend?
Sanzu: Izana, would you slap your best friend in the face for ten million bucks?
Izana: I'd roundhouse kick you in the face for free
Sanzu, tearing up: I'm your best friend?
Chapter 81: I'm not scared, I'm gay
Shion: *unable to stop staring at South’s hands*
South: *noticing* Oh- I promise I won't just punch you so you don’t need to be scared-
Shion, flabbergasted: I’m not scared South, I’m gay!
Chapter 82: I KNEW IT!
*Wakasa and Shinichiro arguing about Shinichiro not wanting to ask somebody out bc Takeomi*
Takeomi, annoyed/ frustrated: Oh my god, how many times do I have to say it? I don't care who you date, we broke up! *he waves his arm around* Ask out anyone you want.
Wakasa: See! I said you should have asked out Akane!
Shinichiro, placatingly: Takeomi....
Takeomi: I KNEW IT!
Takeomi: I KNEW! Two years ago when you went on that stupid work trip with her!
*Wakasa slowly backing away & removing himself*
Takeomi: And Akane was always like "Oh, Shinichiro why don't you come and study with me"
Takeomi: "Oh, Shinichiro I bought some coffee"
Shinichiro: Akane brings everyone coffee!
Chapter 83: Finger puppet musical
Akkun: I’m pretty good with my hands, y’know.
Akkun: *begins three-hour finger puppet musical*
Chapter 84: Capri Suns
Mikey: -AND HE BULLIED ME FOR BUYING CAPRI SUNS AND THEN HE DRANK 8 OF MY CAPRI SUNS
Naoto: Sano you’re in your twenties and arguing about Capri Suns
Mikey: Look Hina, either you ground him or I fight him, and my fists are already up-
Chapter 85: Don't say I don't have goals
Izana: You haven't wanted to do anything since Takemichi left.
Mikey: Yes, I do. I want to threaten my friends and commit manslaughter. I want to bombard everyone who keeps Takemitchy away from me.
Mikey: Don't say I don't have goals.
Chapter 86: God, you are so special
Hanma: *doing something stupid*
Kisaki: God, you are so special
Hanma: I really hope that's cause I mean a lot to you
Chapter 87: Like the back porch, man
Baji: If the eyes are the windows to the soul, the hands are like…
Hanma: …Like the back porch, man
Kazutora: What kinda weed are you smoking exactly?
Chapter 88: I demand to dig my own grave
Mikey: I noticed that there are two graves dug here, and yet there are six of us.
Murderer: Obviously, you will have to share.
Mikey: Yes, but I think I speak for everyone when I say who shares with who?
Emma: I am not going with Baji.
Baji: Why do you hurt me?
Mikey: Considering that Senju and I are the lone couple in the group, I think it's only fair that we have our own grave.
Sanzu: Excuse me.
Sanzu: After all we've been through, I've earned the right to rest beside you just as much as Senju.
Draken: All right, look, If nobody wants to take Sanzu then me and Baji will take him, Emma, why don't you go with those two?
Sanzu: Man, I'm nobody's charity case. I demand to dig my own grave.
Chapter 89: That's beside the point
*Mitsuya gets jealous when he sees Chonbo and Baji hanging out*
Mitsuya, pointing at Baji: That is MY son. Mine, my own! I raised him and birthed him with my own 2 hands.
Draken: you-you can't give birth.
Mitsuya: That's beside the point!
Chapter 90: That wasn't paint
Kazutora: What happened?!
Takemichi: I just got hit in the head from behind, it’s no big deal.
Kazutora: I told you to wait for me before going in that alley, you nerd!
Takemichi: Speaking of which, I think the guy who hit me painted red graffiti all over on the walls. Not cool.
Hina: That wasn’t paint. That was your blood.
Kazutora: Oh for Fu-
Chapter 91: I'll tell you later
Kazutora: How do you keep an idiot waiting?
Baji: I don't know, how?
Kazutora: I'll tell you later.
*30 min later*
Baji: Wait a damn second...
Chapter 92: Today
Hanma: Sorry I’m out of good jokes for today.
Choji, snorting: "Today."
Chapter 93: For both of us
Sanzu: I take no pleasure in this
Takemichi: You’ve got me pined to a wall and a knife to my throat, I think there is some pleasure in this for both of us
Chapter 94: Breakfast in bed is luxurious
Mikey, to Koko: Oh, so breakfast in bed is luxurious, but when I eat breakfast, lunch and dinner in bed, suddenly it's 'depression'
Chapter 95: I want a divorce
Mikey: -the properties of rubber and gum!
South: I want to get a divorce.
Mikey: We’re not married.
South: I want a divorce.
Chapter 96: I know, it's scary
*Ran and Hakkai are 30 minutes late*
Mitsuya, looking around: where are they? I'm afraid people might think we’re on a date instead.
Shion: Why, embarrassed to be seen with me?
Mitsuya, deadpan: Yes.
Shion, fake insulted: You’re no delight either.
Hakkai, appearing out of nowhere: I beg to disagree.
Ran, behind him: And Mitsuya, Shion might be an idiot but at least he’s hot. be grateful.
Shion, sarcastically: Thanks, babe, so nice to see your devotion to me.
Mitsuya: Where have you two been??
Ran & Hakkai: *look at each other confused*
Hakkai: We were trying to be fashionably late.
Shion: *rolls his eyes* Fashionably late is five to ten minutes late, not 30 minutes late!
Mitsuya: What gave you the idea that you were fashionably late?
Ran & Hakkai: Well we are fashionable *strike a pose* and late. But we guess you guys can’t relate.
Shion & Mitsuya: …
Shion, to Mitsuya: I think we accidentally dated the same person.
Mitsuya: I know, it’s scary.
Chapter 97: Oh, yeah, totally
Chifuyu, staring at Yuzuha when they first meet: Hi
Yuzuha, staring just as intensely: Hello.
Chifuyu: So you’re gay too, right?
Yuzuha: Oh, yeah, totally
Chapter 98: I feel a little bad for the bully
Takeomi, after receiving a call that Sanzu got in a fight at school for defending his sister of a bully: Hi, I’m Akashi Haruchiyo’s emergency contact.
Nurse: Oh great you’re here to pick him up?
Takeomi: No I’m here to be removed as him emergency contact.
Takeomi: Nah, I’m kidding, which bully’s ass am I kicking today?
Chapter 99: Baji.
Chifuyu: I think I did fairly well on my analogy quiz!
Baji: I forgot I was doing a test.
Baji: I said the vertebrae was the back stick because I thought it was funnny...
Chapter 100: She always knew it
Taiju: Yuzuha, can I invite someone for Christmas?
Yuzuha: Of course, Taiju. It will be lovely to have Ran here.
Taiju: *shocked* What? Why do you think I'm going to invite Ran?
Yuzuha: Because you’re in love with him, Taiju.
Taiju: *nearly fainting* I-I'm not.
Yuzuha: Oh, no? So you’re saying that you don’t spend all weekends with him?
Yuzuha: And it wasn’t him who accidentally broke the cup that had been in our family for over five centuries? You know, that time, when you two gone wild and had sex in the second living room?
Yuzuha: You don’t have to be ashamed, Taiju. I knew you liked boys since you turned thirteen.
Taiju: How is that possible?
Yuzuha: Really simple, truly. Ranthis, Ranthat…your every phone call was about Ran. I don’t have to be a detective to tell that you’re head over heels in love with him.
Taiju: Okay, can he join us for Christmas?
Yuzuha: Sure he can, Taiju.
Chapter 101: Be my wife
Wakasa: Can you help me with my wedding?
Benkei: Oh…you’re getting married?
Wakasa: Hell yeah I am
Benkei: That’s…nice. What do you need me to do?
Wakasa: Be my wife
Chapter 102: I need something to cheer me up
Mikey: Can you help me? I need something to cheer me up
*Kakuchou pulls Mikey in and kisses him*
Mikey: What was that?
Kakuchou: I was trying to cheer you up
Mikey: That wasn’t exactly what I meant…please do it again
*Kakuchou pulls Mikey into another kiss*
Chapter 103: Time is a construct Rintarou
Rindou: Mikey you and Sanzu are 45 minutes late, the meeting is already over
Mikey: And the party has just arrived. Time is a construct Rintarou. You only live in the now!
Rindou: …That’s not my name…
Chapter 104: I'm not an idiot
So, one person said that they would like me to add Y/N to this so I will start doing that but they will be in the role of parent/sibling/friend since I don't feel totally comfortable making Y/N the lover of the characters
Y/N: Try not to kill anyone by accident.
Shion: I'm not an idiot, Y/N.
Shion: I know how to kill people on purpose.
Chapter 105: I feel the same
Kakuchou: Discarding my body in a nearby creek because it does not spark joy.
Chapter 106: Do not open
Baji: "Caution: DO NOT OPEN. Danger!" Oh, Tora...I'm dying to know what's inside.
Chapter 107: That is his happy
Kakuchou: South doesn’t look very happy.
Y/N: That is his happy, he's just a bitch.
Chapter 108: Wait-
The braincell thing comes from a funny headcanon me and CJ_Riker come up with during one of our talks
Y/N: What would you do if you had a totally functional braincell which you didn't share with Hanma?
Baji: Well I'd-
Chapter 109: These are my kids
Ran, riding home in Mucho's car after a date with with him: We should go out on a trip one day...just we two.
Smiley, popping out of the back right seat of Mucho's car: Oh, that would be wonderful!
Ran: Three? *Sanzu pops up in the middle seat* Four? *Angry pops up in the left seat* Five!
Muchov, sighing: Ran, these are my children.
Ran: Oh, how sweet!
Chapter 110: Who hurt you?
Angry: *walks into the kitchen, ignoring everyone*
Y/N: Hey, Souya, how was your day?
Angry: *picks up an onion and bites into it, staring at Y/N* Hell
Smiley, watching this unfold: Who hurt you?
Chapter 111: I'll admit, not my best work
Takemichi: Look, I’m glad everyone’s on the same page
Takemichi: But it’s the last page in a book titled “We’re All Going to Die”
Kakuchou: That’s not even clever
Takemichi: I'll admit, not my best work. But give me some slack, I thought of it last minute, also we're about to die
Chapter 112: Everyone?
Mikey, after they start dating: So, you and me, huh?
Takemichi: Who would've thought?
Chapter 113: Secrets to life
Mikey: The secret to life is to always use more spinach and less rice than you think you’ll need.
Izana: The second secret to life is that fresh air, warm sun, and a cup of tea will make your problems small enough to start handling.
Emma: The third secret to life is that violence sometimes really is the answer.
Chapter 114: In this gang, who hasn't?
Draken: Why are you moving?
Mucho: Because I had a vision of myself shooting Mikey.
Draken: In this gang, who hasn't?
Chapter 115: I've seen it happen
Izana: I’ve got a big problem.
Koko: Ohh, math or real life?
Izana: Why would I have a big math problem?
Koko: I’ve seen it happen.
Chapter 116: Good thing you don't live your dreams then
Yuzuha: Why do you always have to be so practical? Why don't you ever let yourself just dream?
Senju: Because in my dreams spiders are always crawling on my face
Chapter 117: Two dads
Hanma, high as fuck: ALRIGHT I’M GONNA GO KISS RYUUGUUJI 'DRAKEN' KEN.
Y/N, already used to Hanma high as fuck wandering around: Sure, why not.
Hanma: *grabs Draken by the hair and makes out with him in the cafeteria in front of everyone while standing on top of the lunch table and bending down to reach him*
Y/N: I’M GETTING TWO DADS
Chapter 118: That's a man
Hanma: I’M BREAKING THE WINDOW!!
Mochi: Emergency assistance, this is Mochi
Draken: WE LOCKED OUR BABY IN THE CAR AND PEOPLE ARE JUDGING US!!
Y/N, vibing in the car: :D
Hanma: I SWEAR TO GOD I’M GONNA BREAK IT!
Draken: DO NOT BREAK THE WINDOW YOU’LL GET GLASS ON THEM.
Mochi: Sir please tell your wife to relax. Everything is going to be ok.
Draken: That’s a man.
Chapter 119: You're right, that's funny
Hakkai, trying to play matchmaker: You know something funny...I think Senju and Yuzuha are both lonely.
Takemichi, laughing: You're right, that is funny.
Chapter 120: Rides in your car
Mucho: I've learned from dating Sanzu that guys only want one thing.
Mucho: Rides in your car.
Smiley: Oh thank god.
Mucho: And on your dick.
Chapter 121: Enemies to lovers, speed edition
Mikey: Is everyone ready?
Ran: *grabs his staff* Yes.
Benkei: *checks his crossbow* Roger that.
Sanzu: *sheathing his sword* Affirmative.
Wakasa: Koko, you’re still unarmed.
Koko: Yeah. So I thought I'd go for a different type of strategy tonight, instead of bringing a gun or something, I'm bringing a big kiss instead.
Mochi: Like.......the chocolate?
Koko: No. Like I absolutely am gonna shove my tongue down their throats.
Shion: And what kind of strategy is that?
Koko: Enemies to lovers, speed edition.
Kakuchou: You see, I can’t really tell if you’re being sarcastic or not.
Chapter 122: You see it too, right?
Mikey: You see it too, right?
Sanzu: I've been telling them they should make out for a year now, still waiting.
Draken: We're still here.
Baji/Senju: THEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
Chapter 123: I hate germs
Senju: Haru-nii, what are you doing?
Sanzu, scrubbing the counter: I'm killing the germs. I hate germs. Germs are scary.
Takeomi: Don't forget the germs in the oven.
Chapter 124: They are a 10 but...
Peh-yan, about Yasuda: She trained my best friend's dog to attack people who annoy her on command, it’s often me. I'm people
Wakasa, about Takeomi: His lock screen is a picture of him and his siblings aka not a picture of me
Hina, about Takemichi: He cries when he sees the fish in petsmart
Ran, about Shion: He yells “tsunami!” and knocks me over with water when we bath together
Draken, about Emma: She texts her best friend right after sex
Benkei, about Shinichiro: He tells his dad jokes to me instead of our kids
Shion, about Ran: He falls asleep before I do.
Kakuchou, about Izana: He sobs on my lap about how much he loves me when he’s drunk, which is sweet, but not for SIX HOURS STRAIGHT-
Baji, about Senju: she insists on plucking my eyebrows every four days
Senju, about Baji: Oh he’s more like a 4, but he’s sweet and makes me stuff and gives good back rubs
Mitsuya, about Yuzuha: She gnaws on my arm when she’s bored and likes to say “rise and shine” like Kylie Jenner at 5 a.m.
Rindou, about South: He believes violence is always the answer
Sanzu, about mucho: He tells me the most boring facts about the most boring things and I have to pretend to be interested
Angry, about Mikey: He wants to pick fights with people three times his size
Chifuyu, about Kazutora: He isn't a big fan of mangas/animes
Koko, about Inui: He forgets to water the plants in our house
Chapter 125: I'm not "jealous" but in fact territorial
Mitsuya: Kids, listen
Mitsuya: I'm not "jealous" but in fact territorial
Mitsuya: Being jealous is being upset over something you don't possess
Mitsuya: Territorial is protecting something that belongs to you
Hakkai: Are... Are you perhaps referring to Taiju?
Chapter 126: So supportive
Mikey, drunk: It's drunk and I'm late. We better sneak in quietly.
Mikey, falling: Oh, floor, you're always there for me. So supportive.
Mikey: Not like walls and staircases, always getting in my way.
Kakuchou, on the top of the stairs: *watching Mikey cuddle with a rug*
Chapter 127: Oh, nothing
Emma, whispering: Future Husband say what
Emma, smiling: Oh, nothing
Chapter 128: So, so stupid
Emma, shaking her head with a sigh: Like, Mikey is smart. But so, so stupid.
Kazutora, with a scoff: Well, Baji is stupid. And he's so, so stupid.
Chapter 129: You're just full of crap
Y/N: Really, don't take it personally-
Y/N: You're just full of crap
Chapter 130: Pah-chin before he got his dog
Pah-chin: I want that dog
Y/N, towing Pah-chin along by his jacket collar: you want every dog.
Chapter 131: Ghost reunions
Izana, to the other dead people: We're all gathered here to day because SOMEBODY *glares at Kakuchou* couldn't manage to stay alive
Chapter 132: With a gun!
Mochi: Okay, go shoot your shot.
Ran: Right now? Okay…
Ran, leaning towards Kakuchou: Damn baby, you’re looking kinda-
Mochi: With a gun!
Ran: Oh, right sorry!
Chapter 133: Just like trash cans
Kisaki: If you step on a person's foot they open their mouth, just like trash cans.
Chapter 134: Jesus Fucking Christ Takemichi-
Chifuyu: *sigh* Takemichi...I love you
Takemichi: ...As a friend?
Takemichi: ....As a best friend?
Chifuyui: Jesus fucking Christ Takemichi-
Chapter 135: It's fine, I had it coming
Sanzu: Tried to pull my sleeve up but ended up accidentally punching myself
Mucho: You good?
Sanzu: It’s fine, I had it coming
Chapter 136: I'm confused
Naoto: Okay... How does it work again? I'm confused.
Hina, pulling out a chart: Okay, so... I'm a bisexual, right I like both right? So I date Yuzuha who like girls. This is called lesbian, okay? Yuzuha also dates Emma you know Mikey's sister, which I know about. I also date Takemichi and Mikey separately. They also date each other but Takemichi dates Chifuyu too. But Chifuyu only likes guys. Are you following me, Naoto? But Mikey also dates Mitsuya who you've met. But Mitsuya is Pansexual which means he doesn't care and is also in a relationship with a girl called Senju. So, overall I'm a bisexual, so is Takemichi. Mikey is probably a pansexual but he is also asexual so he doesn't care all that much about that stuff. Like I said Yuzuha is a lesbian and so is Emma, but Emma might be bi but isn't sure. Chifuyu is like Emma's mentor though they are like best friends. Yuzuha and Takemichi are the exact same. We all have designated times when we do things together. We are all friends too. Communication is also important. We also have group events. So, yeah... That's pretty much it, I believe.
Naoto: Isn't that like...
Naoto: Gay or something?"
Chapter 137: That was very polite
Baji: So Emma kissed you and you said "thank you"?
Chifuyu: Well, that was very polite.
Chapter 138: Wow, mood
Sanzu: Oh, you think you want me to shut up? I have to listen to myself even when I'm not talking!
Y/N: Wow, mood
Chapter 139: Holy shit
Mitsuya: I need someone who’s top of the line, graceful and elegant-
Senju: Hi, I’m- *trips on a particle of dust and knocks over a stack of books and falls face first*
Mitsuya: *rushes over to help her up and notices how blue her eyes are*
Mitsuya: *softly* Holy shit.
Chapter 140: I didn't
Emma: How did you break your leg?
Shinichiro: Do you see those porch stairs?
Shinichiro: I didn't.
Chapter 141: Midnight questions
Mikey: Here's what I wonder about zombies. What happens if they can't get any living flesh to eat? They can't starve to death, they're already dead.
Emma, to Izana: You take this one. I spent an hour last night on 'How do vampires shave when they can't see themselves in the mirror?'
Shinichiro: Well-groomed vampires meet in pairs and shave each other. Obviously.
Chapter 142: Love
Shinichiro: I could stare at you all day
Wakasa: I know you would
Takemichi: I'm starting to think you are obsessed with me
Mikey: I mean, I'm in love with you...
Emma, after Draken gave her the plushie: Awww, you remember
Draken: Of course I do, I'm in love with you
Izana: Your way of flirting is truly awful
Ran: But does it work?
Chapter 143: Jealousy
Random guy, flirting with Sanzu: *insert crude, offensive flirting*
Sanzu: *annoyed, but playing nice while trying to get information*
Mikey, nearby, confused: What is this...rage bubbling in my chest?
Shinichiro, patting Mikey’s arm: Aw, Manjirou, you’re jealous.
Mikey, gives his brother a startled look: Is that what jealousy feels like? That fucking sucks. *continues to watch Sanzu*
Mikey, now mad, stomps over to where Sanzu is still being “flirted” with and looms above the random guy: Get the fuck away from him.
Shinichiro, wiping a tear from his eye: My baby’s all grown up.
Chapter 144: Be gay do crime
*Angry and Baji looking at a locked gate into a park*
Baji: You know what they say...
Angry: Please don’t–
Baji: BE GAY DO CRIME! *hops gate*
Angry: *sighs tiredly* *but hops gate as well because he's also gay*
Chapter 145: I would love if it was like that but sadly it isn't
Yamagishi: Last night I found my wife’s ID and it had an expiration date. I spent three hours crying because I thought she was going to die on that day. I didn’t tell her because I was scared she’d cry too
Chapter 146: I don't think you really wanna know
Emma: I love Draken, god I wonder what he's doing right now :]
Draken, currently downing half a gallon of milk: oh god oh fuvk that was hot sauce not ketchup oh fugkc oh god
Chapter 147: Come back at six
Sanzu: Come back at six.
Baji: It is six.
Senju: Then how come you're so damn chipper?!
Mikey: We thought it would be smarter to stay up all night than try to wake up early.
Chapter 148: Do I ever?
Emma: Why do you always take pictures of him like that?
Koko, about to snap a pic of Mikey in a weird pose: Like what?
Emma: Like that! It's like you always come out of the shadows to catch him being weird.
Koko, shrugging and taking a picture of Mikey: I do have cute pictures of him but I like it better when he's being an idiot. I take pictures of all the delinquents being weird cause I find it cute.
Emma: ...Do you have any of Draken?
Koko, smirking and showing him a folder full of Draken in dumb situations on his scroll: Do I ever?
Chapter 149: Cain instinct
Sanzu: Do you ever see your sibling and just have this overwhelming urge to smack them for no reason? Like, my younger sister will walk into the room and I'm like, "Oh man, I guess I have to end you."
Angry, nodding: The Cain instinct.
Mikey: You don't understand how much this post has ruined my life. My younger sister won't stop mentioning the Cain Instinct. Every time I hear the name Cain I run in fear, It's not funny anymore. She'll literally say, "I'm feeling the Cain Instinct" just before she attacks. But all I'm feeling is the Abel Instinct. Someone save me. I am a sacrificial lamb and God is my sister with a pillow.
Chapter 150: It's a miracle I didn't end up a stripper
Taiju/Takeomi/Yuzuha/Sanzu/Hakkai/Senju: I always felt bad for people with emotionally distant fathers- It turns out I'm one of them. It's a miracle I didn't end up a stripper.
Chapter 151: South when he first met Kazutora
South, pointing to Kazutora: yeah, he is a random dude but he is MY random dude. And he is bisexual
Chapter 152: Dress with pockets
Hakkai: Just because I'm gay and awkward around women doesn’t mean I don’t know how to please a women.
Hakkai: You buy them a dress with pockets.
Chapter 153: Maybe hatesexual? Who knows
Kakuchou, about South: Is there a sexuality term for "only wants hatefucks"?
Chapter 154: My life is a trainwreck
Y/N: Mikey, what is a metaphor?
Mikey: My life is a trainwreck.
Y/N: Yes. But what is a metaphor?
Chapter 155: Perfect
Shinichiro: Cuz you’re pretty, and you’re smart, and you’re ignoring me, so you’re obviously my type.
Wakasa: I’m sorry what were you saying?
Chapter 156: Bad influence
Senju: You're being a bad influence right now.
Sanzu: You make it sound like I was ever a good one
Chapter 157: WakaBen first meeting with Takeomi
This is for Alex<3
Wakasa, seeing a 'girl' with long black hair: Hey, pretty girl! What are you doing here alone?
*the 'girl' turns around and glares at him and showing that it was a boy and not a girl*
Benkei: You should apologize, white leopard
Wakasa, rolling his eyes: And what if I don't want to, red wall?
Takeomi: Then I will punch you for calling me a girl
Wakasa, smirking: Oh? I'm not sure you would be able to hurt him but I can admit you are pretty enough to be my type. How about I take you on a date and show you a fantastic time, pretty boy?
Benkei, mumbling: This idiot is going to die one day for being a pervert
Takeomi, glares at Wakasa and walks closer to him: No, thanks I have better taste than that *punches Wakasa in the g«face making him fall to ground in shock* And you flirt with me again and I will kick you in the balls
Benkei, watches Takeomi leave while trying not to laugh about what just happened: Pffft! You deserved that, white leopard
Wakasa, growling: Shut up, red wall!
Chapter 158: FUCK TOMAN, HOW'D THEY GET ALL THESE FUCKING AWARDS?!
Y/N: Dad, our class had our awards assembly today.
Y/N's dad: Really? That was today? Did you get anything?
Y/N: Yes I did.
Y/N's dad: Did you get the English award?
Y/N: No, that was Sano Manjirou.
Y/N's dad: Oh. Did you get the math award?
Y/N: Nope, that was Mitsuya Takashi.
Y/N's dad: Did you get the history award?
Y/N: No, that was Yasuda in my class... and also Hanemiya Kazutora.
Y/N's dad: Did you get the reading award? Or is that—
Y/N: Ryuuguji Ken.
Y/N's dad: Well what DID you get?
Y/N: I got detention for yelling, "FUCK TOMAN, HOW'D THEY GET ALL THESE FUCKING AWARDS?!"
Chapter 159: Biodegradable
Takemichi: Call me biodegradable because I break down really easily.
Chapter 160: Someone who loves you a lot
South: God, I barely slept last night.
Ran, tiredly: Well, you know what they say: If you can't sleep, there's someone thinking about you.
Ran, remembering Kakuchou panicking for 5 hours over the phone last night: Someone who loves you a lot.
Chapter 161: Simp where?
Inui: Yes, absolutely. That was so smart. Everything you say is correct, there is never an exception. I completely agree.
Chapter 162: Simply wonderful
Izana: And you trust South to watch your sons?
Kakuchou: South’s wonderful and I know they love my sons as much as I do
*South walks in holding Rindou and Shion up by their ankles*
South: Where shall I put Gremlins 1 and 2?
Kakuchou: Their bedrooms.
Shion: Kakuchou, marry South!
Rindou: Yeah they’re so cool!
Kakuchou: What’d I tell you? Simply wonderful.
Chapter 163: Siblings fight
Sanzu: One time Senju and Takeomi were having a heated argument in the car and Senju took Takeomi's Queen tape out of the player and threw it out the window with rage and Takeomi looked her dead in the eyes and pulled out a second copy of that same tape and put it back in the player.
Chapter 164: No, I'm not!
Takuya: The look on your face when you found out Yuzuha liked you -- ugh! Listen to me! "Liked", I'm an adult! This is all very high school!
Senju: You're right, it's stupid! But the point is, I like you. I knocked on YOUR door, not Yuzuha's!
Takuya: Well. Technically you knocked on Mitsuya's door, and he's probably still listening.
Mitsuya, across the hall: No I'm not!
Chapter 165: Sold!
Emma: *completely wasted* I can’t believe you don’t love me anymore!
Yuzuha: Princess I never said that all I said was-
Emma: No it’s fine I get it! Everyone I love always leaves!
Taiju: Hey woah woah what’s happening?
Emma: Sharon doesn’t love me!
Yuzuha: All I said was that we can’t cuddle because it’s boiling hot and AC isn’t working! And she's also fucking shit-faced!
Emma: Sleeping naked would fix that!
Taiju: I see the heat is getting to us all, how about you two go take a dip in the pool? Then you can admire each other in your bikinis, that'll make you feel better
Yuzuha: She's right sweetheart come on lets go swimming
Emma: *not convinced* No
Yuzuha: I will forgo my bikini top
Chapter 166: Oh. Okay
Grandpa Sano: Come here, son.
Sanzu: Urm...Mikey is in his room.
Grandpa Sano: I meant you.
Sanzu, voice cracking: Oh. Okay.
Chapter 167: I love you, papa
Y/N: I love you, papa.
Benkei: ...I have a deep regard for you as well, kid.
Chapter 168: Three types of grandkids
Grandma Akashi: Why do you kids like being out in the rain so much?
Senju: I like splashing and rain is just fun!
Takeomi: I'm trying to get hit by lightning!
Sanzu, lying on the ground motionless: I'm trying to test if I can drown myself
Chapter 169: If Choji and Chifuyu lived together
Chifuyu having a spider comes from a crossover AU between TR & KHR that belongs to Alex<3
*Choji placing Bo and Me on the table*
Chifuyu: Choji, no rats on the table.
Choji: But they're lonely and want to eat breakfast with us!
Chifuyu: You know how I feel about animals being on the table, especially while we're eating.
Choji: They're very clean rats!
*meanwhile, the rats trying to steal food off Chifuyu's plate while he's not looking*
Chifuyu, catching them and holding them back by their scruffs: Choji! Look what they just tried to do!
Choji: They're a little hungry, that's all.
Chifuyu: You're in charge of feeding them..
Choji: You let your spider on the table!
Chifuyu: That was ONE TIME.
Chapter 170: Request denied
Mikey in the new chapter
Takemichi: *hands Mikey a note*
Mikey: What’s this
Chifuyu: It’s a request for you not to be a bitch today
Mikey: Request denied
Chapter 171: Only the tasty ones
Takuya: Do you always draw your patients, Dr. Imaushi?
Wakasa: Only the tasty ones. I mean testy. Or both.
Takuya: That still doesn't explain why I'm only wearing a loincloth.
Wakasa: *sketching* What did you say Patroclus?
Chapter 172: I have both
Akkun: Hakkai do you have anxiety prime?
Akkun: *Amazon, sorry
Hakkai: I have both
Chapter 173: By the power vested in me by the state of Ohio, you are all now married
Rindou, over the intercom: BONTEN MEETING IN THE METTING ROOM IN 5!!
*5 minutes later*
Rindou: Now that you are all here, let’s start with a team building exercise, get into pairs and if there is an outlier, come sit with me
*everyone pairs off with no outliers*
Kakuchou, holding Mikey’s hand: What is this for?
Rindou: By the power vested in me by the state of Ohio, you are all now married.
Koko, holding Sanzu’s hand: WE AREN’T EVEN OHIO
Rindou: I said the state gave me its power, not where it was! There are millions of people waking up today with out electricity in the city of Lima!
Ran: I’m sorry what?
Rindou The power had to come from somewhere
Chapter 174: Girlfriend
Senju, about Yamagishi: He's my girlfriend
Chapter 175: I don't have favorites
Grandpa Sano: I don't have favourites.
Shinichiro: Then why do Emma and Sanzu have an allowance?
Mikey: Do you get an allowance? How did I never get one?
Senju: Why does Haru-nii receive an allowance from Mansuke-san and I don't?
Baji: How come I didn't get an allowance?
Shinichiro: Do you live here?
Takeomi: Does he get an allowance? I had to pay to be here!
Chapter 176: It's up there
Hanma: Kisaki, you’re smart. Tell me something about outer space.
Kisaki, pointing up: It’s up there.
Chapter 177: He is both!
Rindou: So Sanzu is a murderer and a slut?
Ran: No. He is just a slut.
Mikey: He is both!
Chapter 178: But you are still a traitor
Y/N: YOU BETRAYED ME AND I KNOW THAT YOU’LL NEVER FEEL SORRY FOR THE WAY THAT I HURT! — GUESS YOU DIDN’T CHEAT! BUT YOU’RE STILL A TRAITOR !!!
Takeomi: What the hell are you guys doing at 2am?? And why is Y/N acting like she’s been shot??
Senju, with uno cards in his hands: I put a +4 card on her. Sorry, Take-nii.
Takeomi: I hope Haruchiyo doesn’t become like you two.
Chapter 179: I’m keeping him and calling him baby
Taiju, to Inui: I wish a socially awkward rich black haired boy would land on my lap and let me take care of him forever and ever.
*cue Koko literally falling from the sky and landing on Taiju’s lap*
Taiju: Sorry, I have to say it. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Koko, flushed to the T: This can’t be happening right now.
Taiju: I’m keeping him and calling him baby.
Koko: Please don’t.
Chapter 180: Poor awkward babies
Yamagishi: *tries to slap Senju's ass as she walks by*
Yamagishi: *misses, trips and falls*
Senju: *tries to catch Yamagishi but overbalances*
Senju: *tries to hold a chair for support*
Yamagishi: *falls on top of Senju*
Wakasa, watching: It's like watching two animals do an out-of-sync and very destructive mating dance.
Chapter 181: It's Senju, your sister
Takeomi: What’s wrong, kid?
Baji, clearly upset: There’s this girl I’m in love with, but she doesn't think we can be together because her brothers wouldn't approve.
Takeomi: We’ll that's bullshit. You’re an incredible and nice guy, and any man would be lucky to have you date their sister or brother.
Baji: Well, that's great cause I've got something to tell you.
Baji: The girl I love? It’s Senju, your sister.
Sanzu: I’M GOING TO KILL YOU, BAJI KEISUKE!
Chapter 182: Who are we waiting for?
*Tenjiku prepared a surprise party for Shion and are waiting for him*
Ran: It's not my fault you decided to hide with me
Rindou: Be quiet
Kakuchou: I said it wouldn't work
Koko: Silence shh
Hanma: Calm down
Kisaki: Be quiet
Shion: Who are we waiting for?
Chapter 183: What F-word?
Izana: Mother, I got a question about the F-word.
Karen: What F-word?
Izana: My father.
Izana: The fuck you think I was talking about?
Chapter 184: You got a deal, Draken
This is a female Mucho one
Mucho: I’m not a monster, Ryuuguji, I’m a mother
*Mucho looks at her phone
Mucho: Apparently I’m a mother to my idiots and a lot of others on the internet
Sanzu: Yasumi, that’s not what that means
Mucho: Well then what does mommy mean then?
Draken: Tell you what: I’ll help Mucho find her idiots if you don’t tell her what mommy means!
Sanzu: You got a deal, Draken
Chapter 185: FUCK SOUTH
Senju: FUCK SOUTH
Benkei, angry: Amen
Takeomi, angry: Hell yes
Benkei, Takeomi & Senju:
Benkei, Takeomi & Senju: What
Chapter 186: Never send a boyfriend to do a best friend's job
*after rescuing a drunk Takemichi and Kisaki from getting tattoos*
Hina: Takemichi, what is the first rule of the Kisaki Tetta emotional support task force?
Takemichi: …Don't let him get a tattoo.
Hina: What the hell happened?
Takemichi: I couldn't help it. He’s so cute when he’s coming up with destructive ideas.
Hina: Never send a boyfriend to do a best friend's job. Out, Hanagaki. Walk it off.
Chapter 187: Why are you crying?
Shinichiro: You’ve started to look like me more and more everyday—
Shinchiro: Why are you crying?
Mikey: You-you’re ugly, I don’t want to look like you *sobs*
Chapter 188: Poor bowling alley
Baji: Banned from the bowling alley for using my special move where I dribble the ball before shooting down the pins
Chapter 189: Horny and intrusive
Ran: That's how it is, baby. My thoughts are two types: horny and intrusive.
Chapter 190: He's still in there?
Mochi: There appears to be the head of a lego person in your sinuses.
Hanma: He's still in there? Damn, I shoved him up there when I was like eight.
Chapter 191: Oh dang, it flew back
Takemichi: Look! A star is falling. Make a wish.
Mikey: I wish Takemichi will go on a date with me.
Hina: Oh dang, it flew back.
Chapter 192: Hesitate to ask
Takeomi, to his siblings: Should you have any questions, please don't. Hesitate to ask.
Chapter 193: Reading files IS my hobby
Naoto: There's a file on him in the station's database. You guys don't read the files?
Kazutora: We gotta get you a hobby, Naoto.
Naoto: Reading files IS my hobby.
Chapter 194: You're ethereal
Takeomi, standing at the end of the bed: You’re ethereal
Wakasa, looking over at him: Was it really necessary to wake me up at… *looks over at phone* 4am to tell me this?
Chapter 195: Pizza with mayonnaise
Makoto: What was with the guy who invented mayonnaise? Were they just like, "Damn, I wish this sandwich tasted bad"?
Yamagishi, rolling his eyes: So you never had pizza with mayonnaise?
Y/N: I've also never choked someone to death with my bare hands either, but unlike what you said, that can change any second.
Chapter 196: Naoto also has simps
*playing taboo at a party, the word is Policeman*
Naoto: Okay, what am I?
Naoto: Yeah, more serious.
Naoto: My job.
Hanma: The love of my life-
Hina: Can you guys play the game instead of being simps for one minute straight?
Chapter 197: He is brutiful
Shinichiro: I can't stop thinking about Wakasa. He's as brutal as he is beautiful. He's brutiful.
Chapter 198: That's really sad
Baji: Okay guys, you’re sad. I can tell because you have the same look on your faces as my teachers did whenever I raised my hand in class.
Chapter 199: Slow idiot
Mikey: So, you know how there's a party tomorrow?
Baji: Yeah, what about it?
Mikey: You wanna, uh... go?
Baji: I already told you yesterday that I was going.
Mikey: No, I mean go with me.
Baji: Jesus Christ, why do you always need a ride. You have your own damn car--
Emma/Sanzu/Senju, watching: *bangs their heads against the table*
Chapter 200: Why are you sad?
Benkei: Why are you sad?
Akane: How do you know I’m sad?
Benkei: Well, you’re dressed in sad colors and you were playing a sad song and you’re wearing a button that says “I’m sad, ask me why”.
Chapter 201: Barking
Pah-chin: A couple of dogs started barking at Pochi and I couldn't let her be outnumbered so I started barking too.
Chapter 202: Dream
Hina: So when you dream, do you see Chihiro and Mika’s dad?
Emma: I don’t see Draken at all
Hina: That’s not what I meant-
Emma: You think Ken has died in all other realities?!
Hina: No. I think that the twins have a dad who isn’t Draken!
Emma: Then who could it be?
Sanzu: Hey Emma! Just came by to drop off the mission briefs. Mikey’s orders.
Emma: Hey Sanzu! that’s funny I saw you in a dream last night with my boys and…ohhh
Chapter 203: You are aware that he's not a monkey, right?
Akane: *talking about Shinichiro* He's so sweet, I just wanna feed him grapes and brush his hair.
Takeomi: You are aware that he's not a monkey, right?
Chapter 204: Yourself
Mikey: Takemichi, who's most likely to kill me?
Kakuchou: Mikey that's a sensitive topic for us to discuss in the middle of dinner.
Takemichi: *not missing a beat* Yourself.
Sanzu: Well at least it ain't one of us
Chapter 205: Can we make it a different moment?
Makoto: You came up to my desk, and you said, “This might sound weird, and there's no reason for me to know this, but that mixed-berry yogurt you're about to eat has expired.”
Akkun: That was the moment that you knew you liked me?
Akkun: Wow. Can we make it a different moment?
Chapter 206: I'll set you a date with Kenchin
Mikey: I did something stupid again
Mikey: So like you know how-
Emma: Stop right there
Emma: Does the thing you did affect us in any way?
Emma: Good! Then suffer in silence
Emma: I have a date today that I absolutely cannot miss
Mikey: Emma pleasee you are my last hopee
Emma: Nuh-huh whatever you say I have to go
Mikey: I'll set you a date with Kenchin
Emma: You have exactly 5 minutes to explain what you did
Chapter 207: Oh god, I miss him
Izana: I miss Takemichi
Izana: *sighs* Oh god, I miss him
Izana: *with tears in his eyes* I miss him so freaking much
Hina: *slams hands on the table* OH MY GOD! HE'S JUST IN THE BATHROOM! WILL YOU CALM DOWN?!
Chapter 208: I'm Senju for sure
Angry: *bringing breakfast to bed for Senju, smiling ear to ear* Good morning, sunshine
Senju: *waking up like a car hit her in her sleep, hair is messy like a birds nest* ...What?
Chapter 209: You give me butterflies
Takeomi: You give me butterflies.
Benkei: But I don't remember giving you butterflies..?
Takeomi: No... like... butterflies in my stomach!
Benkei: You ATE them!??!!!
Chapter 210: At least they listen
Shinichiro: You know, Wakasa and Benkei have never once laughed at any of my jokes.
Takeomi: At least they listen. I just kinda tune you out.
Chapter 211: Takeomi and Sanzu are siblings?!
*Bonten is being chaotic at always*
Sanzu, entering the living room: Morning
Ran, noticing hickeys on Sanzu: Oh? Did you have a fun night?
Sanzu, confused: What?
*Takeomi appears and goes immediately to the kitchen*
Rindou: I never thought Takeomi was your type Sanzu
Mikey, making a disgusting face: What the fuck, Rindou?
Kakuchou: What's wrong with what Rin said?
Takeomi, coming back: Oh, Mikey it was Draken who was in my brother's bedroom
Mochi, confused: Brother?
Sanzu: Take-nii! You promised not to tell!
Mikey: Kenchin? Really, Haru? You could have told me, I am okay with you dating him
Ran: Takeomi and Sanzu are siblings?!
Chapter 212: We are alive
Senju: Once upon a time I had two childhood idiots, they died because of their dumb brains.
Sanzu: I still remember them, Takeomi wanted to date the older brother of one of them
Emma: Good memories, good memories
Mikey: We are alive
Baji: Yeah! We may have broken all our bones but we are alive
Chapter 213: Next time, I'm marrying Kazutora
Draken: This food is amazing, Chifuyu
Chifuyu: Thanks but it was Kazutora who made it
Emma: Really?! You are amazing, Tora!
Kazutora, embarrassed: Hahaha, thanks but I'm.not that good
Draken: You are better than Emma
*Emma glares at Draken*
Emma: Next time, I'm marrying Kazutora. He is much sweeter than you Ken
Kazutora, blushing: Eh?!
Chifuyu, laughing: You got that right, Emma
Chapter 214: Sano roadtrip
*Sano siblings roadtrip*
Mikey: I'm hungry
Shinichiro: Just eat the snacks you brought with you
Mikey: Already did it
Shinichiro, sighing: Then wait
Mikey, pouting: Okay
*a few minutes later*
Emma: Shin-nii how much will it take? I need to answer Hina's message and there is no wifi here
Shinichiro: Just a bit more
*some minutes later*
Izana: Shin-nii, why are there screams coming from the trunk?
Mikey: Oh! That is just Baji
Emma: And Senju, they are probably fighting
Shinichiro: Ah, okay
Shinichiro, stopping the car suddenly: WHAT?!
Chapter 215: If you see something, say nothing, and drink to forget
Draken: What the fuck are they doing?
Mucho, pointing to where Hanma was being bathed in oil by Chome while Baji and Choji try to hit him with something that looks like gelatine: That
Chonbo, taking a wine bottle out of nowhere: Ah, that. We have another rule in this gang beside the 'seems fake, but okay' one
Chifuyu: Which is?
Kazutora, appearing out of nowhere and drinking from Chonbo's wine bottle: If you see something, say nothing, and drink to forget
*Toman looks back at the previous scene where more members of Valhalla had joined an make it more chaotic*
Mitsuya: Give me that and I will start to use that rule too
Chapter 216: Taiju's birthday
Chifuyu, noticing some aquarium tickets: Hey, Hakkai, why do you have tickets to the aquarium? You never seemed interested in it
Hakkai, helping Takemichi dye his hair black: I don't but me and Yuzuha will be taking Taiju to the aquarium later
Takemichi, confused: Why?
Hakkai: Today is Taiju's birthday and while he will spent the morning and most of the evening with the Mitsuyas, he will spend the rest with me and Yuzuha
Chifuyu/Takemichi: ....Today is Taiju's birthday?!
Chapter 217: He is a murderer
Senju, looking at Rindou: I love him!
Inui: He is a murderer
Senju: I said I love him, not that he's any good
Chapter 218: This is fine
Takemichi, witnessing a traumatic event: This is fine
Kisaki, when his shoelaces are uneven: I will forsake the world as God has forsaken me
Chapter 219: Lie detector
Chifuyu: So, Choji, as you know, we have all prospective Toman 2nd Gen members take a lie detector test prior to joining our team. The new Lie Detector 3000 is programmed to go off when it hears you tell a lie. For example, go ahead and tell an obvious lie.
Choji: Grass is blue.
Choji: I'm a tall Black man.
Choji: I've never seen Hanemiya Kazutora.
Choji: I love it, I've never missed one.
Chifuyu: Have you ever been fired from a job before?
Choji: Three times.
Chifuyu: Have you ever stolen from an employer before?
Choji: Alright, damnit!
Chifuyu: How much would you say you've stolen before?
Choji: Hundred dollars.
Choji: Five hundred dollars.
Choji: So much I've lost count.
Chifuyu: That's a lot of money, Harley.
Choji: Well... I had cancer.
Choji: I bought a boat.
Chapter 220: If you're unhappy and you know it clap your hands!
Sanzu: If you're unhappy and you know it clap your hands!
Koko: *claps twice*
Sanzu: If you're unhappy and you know it clap your hands!
Mikey: *claps twice*
Sanzu: If you're stressy and you're messy and you're feelin' all depressy if you're unhappy and you know it clap your hands!
Kantou Manji Gang: *claps twice*
Chapter 221: Bisexual but with your hands
Chome: Hey, what’s that thing called where you’re like.....bisexual, but with your hands.
Chapter 222: You lazy fool
Choji: Hope you get run over
Kisaki: Hoping is all well and good, but ultimately it gets you nowhere. Be the change you wish to see in the world. Get in your car and run me the fuck down instead of waiting for others to do your work for you, you coward. You lazy fool.
Chapter 223: This is a globe
Mikey: This is a list of possible places Sanzu could’ve run off to this time
Takeomi: This is a globe.
Senju: Yeah, we have no fucking clue where he is
Chapter 224: Mister Frankenstein
Choji: I hate the whole "Frankenstein was the doctor" thing.
Choji: First of all, that little bitch was a college dropout, so don't you "doctor" me!
Hanma, snorting: Mister Frankenstein.
Chapter 225: Baji as a boyfriend
Baji: If I had a girlfriend, I'd hype her so much.
Baji: I'd make her wait outside so I could go in first and be like "get ready! Here comes the most specialest person ever!"
Baji: "And if you don't cheer and clap for her, I'll fucking blow this whole building up!"
Chapter 226: I love you no matter what
Hina: I love you no matter what.
Takemichi: What does that mean? "No matter what"?
Hina: Nothing. It just means I love you.
Mikey: No. No matter what means you love us, even though we have some sort of problem.
Chapter 227: I don't wanna see you right now
Chome: *arguing with Kisaki*
Kisaki: *takes off his glasses*
Chome: What are you doing?
Kisaki: I don’t wanna see you right now.
Chapter 228: Calm down
Chome: Flawless, fantastic, incredible, show-stopping, an angel, the love of my life, the light of my darkness, the sun of my world-
Chapter 229: Uninvite the groom
Emma: At my wedding, you'll be able to come alone, bring a Plus One, or choose a Minus One, where you can uninvite one person of your choosing, no questions asked.
Kazutora: Power move; uninvite the groom.
Chapter 230: Just Hanma being himself
Hanma: *tease and mocks the hell out of Draken as a love language*
Also Hanma: *showers Draken in affection whenever he can as a love language*
Chapter 231: Five ovens
*The squad is over at Chifuyu's house*
Baji: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?
Chifuyu: ... N-No...
Chifuyu, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???
Baji, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!
Kazutora: I see a-
Chifuyu, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.
Baji: Oh, well I-
Chifuyu: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*
Chifuyu, amazed: Its got a bake setting!
Takemichi: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!
Makoto: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?
Chifuyu: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!
Chifuyu: I am someone who owns four ovens...
Chifuyu, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS...
Chifuyu: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...
Yamagushi, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!
Baji: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!
Chifuyu, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS
Chapter 232: Just let me sleep in peace
Emma, sleeping peacefully:
Emma, doesn't move or react:
Izana: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!
SHINICHIRO: KYAAA! A SPIDER!
Emma, waking up furious: SHUT THE FUCK UP! JUST LET ME SLEEP IN PEACE! THAT SPIDER WON'T FUCKING EAT YOU!
Chapter 233: Daddy?
Hakkai: Hmmm? What are you doing Fuyu?
Chifuyu: Looking through Kazutora's phone and seeing who he calls/talks to the most
Takemichi: Isn't that invading his privacy?
Chifuyu: He let me, he doesn't care who looks through his phone
*the other two shrug their shoulders and join Chifuyu in looking through Kazutora's phone*
Hakkai, when they finally found the person with who Kazutora contacted the most: Daddy? Didn't he break all the contact with his dad
Takemichi: He did....maybe it is someone he sees as his dad?
Chifuyu, smirking: Or he is into daddy kink
Takemichi, blushing slightly: ....That also works
Hakkai: Let's see the number and see if we recognize them *they proced to do just that*
Chifuyu, surprised: ....It is really him?
Takemichi: Unless he gave me a false number, then yes it is him
Hakkai: Huh....who would have thought Kazutora liked Rindou
Chifuyu: ...Or that they were into daddy kink
Chapter 234: Because you like us?
Mitsuya, sighing: Sometimes I question why I am your friends
Draken: Because you are as chaotic as us
Mikey: You love us!
Baji: We didn't give you the chance of choosing someone else
Pah-chin: Because you like us?
Kazutora: ....I thought it was because we accepted being his mannequins for when he starts doing clothes
Chapter 235: She is the best!
Chifuyu: Waaah! She is so amazing!
Sanzu: I know! She is the best!
Mikey: Ryoko-san isn't as amazing as my mom but I agree with you
Takemichi, confused: ....Who is Ryoko-san?
Mitsuya: Oh! I forgot you and Kisaki just joined recently
Pah-chin: The person they are talking about is Baji's mom, Baji Ryoko
Kisaki: And why is she considered so amazing?
Draken: She deals with Baji every fucking day
Chapter 236: Traumatizing moment
Takemichi: What was the most traumatizing moment in your life?
Hakkai: When Taiju gave me and Yuzuha the talk
Chifuyu: Same as Hakkai but it was my mom
Angry: .....Mochi had to be the one to give me and Smiley the talk after a member if his gang made some indecent comments about us and we didn't understand
Sanzu: Takeomi and Shinichiro trying to give us the talk but they were too embarrassed so Mansuke-san was the one who had to do it.
Takemichi: .....I thought that every school had a class were they gave that talk
Chapter 237: Expert on what?
Hina: That’s why we needed to get an expert.
Baji: Oh really? Who did you get?
Hina, staring: …
Baji: Oh! Right, that’s me.. yes.
Chapter 238: 'Accidentally'
Hanma: *bullying Kazutora*
Chifuyu, later: *accidentally hits Hanma with their car*
Hanma: You hit me with your car.
Chifuyu: You hit my car with your body.
Chapter 239: It's not a tie
Mitsuya: Mucho, you know Mochi better than anyone. I’m sure you’ll find the perfect gift.
Mucho: And you’re sure its not…
Mitsuya: It’s not a tie.
Chapter 240: Wine country
Takeomi: Do what you want Haru, its the least I can do as you’re going to help Senju with their homework tomorrow while I visit wine country.
Senju: *gasps* I want to go!
Sanzu: No, Senju, thats just what Take-nii calls lying on the trampoline in the backyard drinking chardonnay.
Chapter 241: Mikey & his stalker
Mikey: I had a stalker while on a business trip in Spain last year. She stood outside my apartment every day for weeks, all day. I was so bored and lonely that I went out and had dinner with her. I just complained about everything in my life and she never came back.
Chapter 242: And here we have a capitalist
Ran: LOWERCASE LETTERS ARE FOR THE LOWER CLASS!
Kakuchou: And here we have a capitalist.
Mochi: Did you just-
Koko: Let us all take a moment to appreciate that all of human history, human language, and the universe itself aligned to make this joke possible.
Chapter 243: I would be slightly concerned too
Rindou: Sometimes I forget sad jokes are only funny on the internet. I told this guy I wished the earth was flat so I could yeet myself off the edge and he just got concerned.
Chapter 244: Someone call an ambulance!
*Takemichi runs into the mansion's living room*
Takemichi: Someone call an ambulance!
Kakuchou: What?!…An ambulance?
Mikey: For you? Are you dying?!
Takemichi: No, not for me.
*Takeomi runs in, being chased by an angry Sanzu*
Takemichi: For him!
Sanzu: Takeomi you dare insult my Michi!!
Takeomi: I’m sorry!! I’m sorry!!
Chapter 245: Light at the end of the tunnel
Shinichiro: There's always a light at the end of the tunnel.
Takeomi: Yeah, but it's usually an oncoming train.
Shinichiro: Could you not kill my vibe for, like, five seconds?
Chapter 246: Tora's new friend
Like most of the fandom, I fell hard for Satou Ryusei
Ryusei: What are you doing?
Kazutora: *snuggling in Ryusei's arms* Hiding
Ryusei: Don't you mean… hugging?
Kazutora: Did I stutter? This is my safe place. Now shut up and put your arms around me
Chapter 247: Not in front of Chifuyu
Baji: Where are my fucking glasses?
Ryusei, covering Chifuyu's ears: Baji, not in front of Chifuyu, say it nicer?
Baji: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my fucking glasses, sir?
Chapter 248: That's ironic
Chifuyu: Kazutora, it's 10 degrees come inside before you die of hypothermia!
Kazutora: Well that's ironic, it's freezing but I'm still having a meltdown!
Chapter 249: The power of true love
Ran: You are not my target. I will not take your life. You are free to go, but do not follow me.
The 500 or more random people in the afterlife: Are you fucking kidding me?!
Random person in the afterlife: Awwww! The power of true love! How adorable!
The 500 or more random people in the afterlife: SHUT UP DAIKI!
Chapter 250: Knock knock
Baji: Knock knock .
Sanzu: Who’s there?
Baji: When, where.
Sanzu: When, where, who?
Baji: Tonight, my place, you and me.
Mikey, across the room: Damn, that was smooth
Chapter 251: Sun kissed skin
Baji: Someone described Ryusei’s skin as ‘sun kissed’ recently, and now the sun’s about to catch these hands.
Chapter 252: Nuisance
Hanma: When I was little, Barbie always said I could be whatever I wanted.
Hanma: So I decided to be a nuisance.
Chapter 253: It's seven in the morning...
Senju: Boob is too funny......tit is too aggressive.....breast is too formal.....
Emma: It’s seven in the morning
Chapter 254: Significant annoyance
Draken: What is a cute gender neutral thing to call your partner?
Naoto, looking at Hanma: Significant annoyance
Chapter 255: Did you try kicking him?
Kakuchou: Ran won't wake up, what do I do?
Rindou: Did you try kicking him?
Rindou: I'm out of ideas, then.
Chapter 256: Yes, I do
Emma: Chome, I think you use silence and anger as a way to keep people from getting too close to you.
Chome: Yes, I do.
Chome: *pointedly looking at Choji who is sleeping on the couch with his head on Chome's lap* : But it doesn't always work.
Chapter 257: Nobody is frying any bitches
Ryusei: We don't need those, I have a lighter.
Ryusei: We just need some hairspray to make a flamethrower.
Ryusei: Time to fry some bitches.
Y/N: Nobody is frying any bitches.
Chapter 258: Never mind, I want him
Izana: Everything feels like a waste of time, nothing I ever do makes me happy. I have no desire.
Akkun: *stumbles around*
Izana: Never mind, I want him.
Chapter 259: Nope!
Grandpa Sano: Is everything alright?
Mikey, grinning and flashing two thumbs up: Nope!
Chapter 260: Scratch that, who is he?
Shinichiro: I'm the straightest person here, alright? I wouldn't date a dude.
*Benkei getting out of his bike*
Shinichiro: Scratch that, who is he?
Chapter 261: Talk to each other
Draken, knocking: Mikey, open up.
Mikey, from the other side: Why?
Draken: We need to talk.
Mikey: How many of you are there?
Mikey: Talk to each other.
Chapter 262: No miss, we are not that thirsty
Emma: *texting Draken*
Senju: *reading the text over her shoulder*
Senju: “Hey” with 11 Y’s??
Senju: *snatching the phone away* No miss, we are not that thirsty.
Chapter 263: Gangs and their leaders
Rokuhara Tandai+Senju, in the car: McDonalds! McDonalds! McDonalds!
South+Benkei & Takeomi: We have food at home.
Kakuchou+Wakasa, muttering: I hate this fucking gang.
Tenjiku, in the car: McDonalds! McDonalds! McDonalds!
Izana: *pulls into the drivethrough*
Izana: one black coffee please.
Toman+Valhalla, in the car: McDonalds! McDonalds! McDonalds!
Mikey+Hanma: McDonalds! McDonalds! McDonalds!
Chapter 264: I do hate hot dogs
Takuya: *double checking supplies in the boat* Compass. CB radio. Sunscreen.
Yamagishi: Hot dog costumes!
Akkun: I’m sorry, what?
Yamagishi: You know, in case we get lost at sea, and one of us, probably Makoto, goes mad with hunger, we’ll put these on. Makoto is vegetarian he hates hot dogs, so he probably won’t eat us.
Takemichi: Are you saying that Makoto would rather eat us than hot dogs?
Makoto: I do hate hot dogs.
Chapter 265: Warrior unicorns
Mikey: Are we going to see the warrior unicorns at the zoo?
Takeomi: The what now?
Shinichiro: He means the rhinos.
Chapter 266: Never in their life
Hina: Do you guys ever have a civilized conversation that doesn’t require insulting each other every time you get a chance?
Draken & Hanma: No.
Chapter 267: Were you there?
Takemichi: I’ve missed months of school while I’ve been in the hospital and my education is fine
Takuya: You thought Missouri was in Central America
Takemichi: It’s the centre of America
Takuya: You think cave men killed the dinosaurs
Takemichi: Were you there?
Chapter 268: Oh, those are true
Hina: What do you have to say for all the recent allegations against you?
Hanma, getting his gun: What allegations?
Hina: That you’re a simp for Kisaki
Hanma, immediately calm down and sits back down: Oh, those are true
Hina: You’re not going to contradict it
Hanma: Nope *pops the p*
Chapter 269: You're a cat
*Kantou Manji Gang assigning their dog personalities to each other*
Koko: Don’t beat yourself up but you’ll probably never guess what kind of dog I am.
Sanzu: You're right. I'll never guess what kind of dog you are…
Sanzu: Because you're not a dog. You're a cat. You're temperamental. You're unpredictable, complex, and hard to read. You make people work before you let them in. But if they put the time in and prove that they care, then you open yourself up to them. Right?
Kantou Manji Gang: *shocked silence*
Chapter 270: You're what?
Mikey: Hey Emma, you want to go to the meeting tonight?
Emma: I can’t I’m going on a date
Mikey: You’re what?
Emma: Yeah. Keisuke set me up with this friend he has who-
Mikey: *turning to Baji angrily* yOU WHAT
Chapter 271: She's hitting a man
*Hina kicking a thug *
Takemichi: Gosh, Hina is so sexy
Akkun: She's hitting a man.
Takemichi: Wow, really.... But she remains sexy.
Chapter 272: My girlfriend is...
Mikey, about Hina: My girlfriend is an angel and makes me want to be a better person.
Senju, about Yamagishi: My girlfriend is crazy as fuck and is probably taking me to hell with him but it's alright because I'm already going to hell.
Chapter 273: Get out
Emma, cooking with Senju: *taste testing the food*
Senju: How is it?
Emma: The pancetta tastes weird
Senju: Oh, that's cuz it's tofu
Senju: It's tofu.
Emma: Senju, I trusted you to help me and give a recipe and you turn on my back and do an improv?
Senju: I followed it down to the micro besides the pig!
Emma: ...Get out.
Chapter 274: My buffalo chicken wing
Hina, drunk: You’re so hot
Yuzuha: Oh- uh- thanks, Hina-
Hina: And spicy
Yuzuha, smiling a little: Okay, Hina, I think it's time I got you home-
Hina, wrapping her arms around Yuzuha: My buffalo chicken wing
Chapter 275: You might wanna slow down...
Sanzu: You might wanna slow down...
Hina: It's fine, I have a high metabolism.
Sanzu: Those are edibles.
Hina: Yeah I know dude, that's why I'm eating them.
Sanzu: They're full of cannabis..
Hina: *eyes widen in fear* A-All of them?
Sanzu: How many did you just eat, Tachibana?
Hina: U-uhm- ten? *whispers* twelve
Sanzu: Oh god.. that amount with your body weight *sucks air through his teeth* It's fine, you're fine
Hina: THEN WHY'RE YOU MAKING THAT FACE?!
Chapter 276: This is our son
Can you guess who are Chifuyu and Hina's other parents if Izana is Ryusei's?
Kazutora: This is our son, Ryusei.
Izana: I’m aware.
Kazutora: This is my son you’ve never been introduced to, Chifuyu.
Kazutora: And this is my lovely daughter, Hina.
Izana: You can’t just adopt people when you feel sad, Kazutora.
Chapter 277: Normal stuff
Takeomi, looking at Sanzu, Koko and Ran: So, how was your mission? How did it go for the three of you? What did you do?
Ran: Normal stuff. Exploring the building, fighting stupid delinquents, making out with each other, stuff like that.
Sanzu: They are very good at making out.
Chapter 278: She tells me to shut up and I do
Yamagishi, while hugging Senju: Me and my boyfriend don't argue. She tells me to shut up and I do.
Chapter 279: Never happening
Takemichi, with Akkun and Yamagishi behind him: Hey, trust me. Don't worry about us, we'll be fine.
Takuya: Telling me not to worry is like telling Makoto to try tea instead of coffee.
Makoto, crossing his arms like a child: Never happening.
Chapter 280: Sadly, his canon self didn't follow this
Draken: I won’t take a bullet for anyone because if I have time to jump in front of a bullet, you have time to move.
Mitsuya: Ya know, you probably just made a ton of songs seem completely pointless.
Chapter 281: We’re still trying for a baby, Ken
*Draken walks into D&D Motors*
Inui: Draken, the bags under your eyes have bags. What’s wrong?
Draken: Emma she-
Inui: Is keeping you up because she has constant nightmares?
Draken: No Seishu, Emma’s been-
*Emma skips in, a blissful look on her face*
Emma: Darling, are you not coming back? We’re still trying for a baby, Ken.
Chapter 282: Poor Chifuyu
Takemichi, waking up: Ah, damn, what time is it?
Hina: It’s about 3 am, you hungry?
Takemichi: Hell yeah let’s go eat
Chifuyu, on the cusp of breaking down: Partner, you just woke up from a coma, why do you two aLWAYS DO THIS-
Chapter 283: Cookies
Mikey: Cake is the best.
Senju: No, Mikey. That would be pie.
Mikey: How should I know? You've never eaten cake before.
Emma: Guys, calm down! Everybody knows both cake and pie are great treats!
Sanzu: Then it's settled! We'll bake cookies!
*at the same time*
Mikey: Oh yeah. Cookies.
Senju: I like cookies.
Emma: Y'know, cookies sound so great after all.
Chapter 284: We're rivals
Senju: Describe your relationship with Mikey.
Takemichi: We’re rivals.
Hina: Rivals that kiss.
Takemichi: And rivals that are getting married next year.
Hina: You’re invited to the wedding.
Chapter 285: Everybody hide!
Hanma Quick! Everybody hide!
Hanma: *dives behind the bed*
Chome: *tries to flatten himself against the wall*
Baji: *tries and fails to fit under the bed*
Hanma: We all did a terrible job!
Chapter 286: When?
Ran: Are you ever going to listen to me?
Mitsuya: Yes. Absolutely.
Mitsuya: When you're right.
Chapter 287: Do you think that is going to stop them?
Ryusei: I feel like one day Chifuyu and Kazutora are just going to secretly plan our wedding without our say and just send us an invitation when they have it all set up.
Baji: But Ryu we’re not even engaged yet...?
Ryusei: Do you think that’s going to stop them?
Chapter 288: 69 cents
hanma: Hey how much money do you have?
Shion: 69 Cents...
Hanma: Oh- You know what that means!
Shion, in a whiny voice: I don't have enough money for chicken nugget...
Chapter 289: Valhalla family charades
Chonbo: We, the Valhalla gang, are playing family charades. Emma pointed at me. Everyone guessed alcoholic
Chapter 290: We got married two weeks ago
Emma: Are you still married to Baji?
Kazutora: We got married two weeks ago.
Emma: So it's pretty serious, I guess. Congrats!
Chapter 291: Leave me here to perish
Hina: Why do you look like that?
Baji, laying face down on the floor: Like what?
Hina: Like you’re dead.
Baji: Because I'm dying. Leave me here to perish.
Takemichi: Baji accidentally called Takuya “babe” in front of the whole gang.
Baji: *sobs into the floor*
Chapter 292: O-okay, you win
Shion: I bet you can’t make a sentence without the letter a.
Kakuchou: I love you, Shion.
Shion: O-okay, you win.
Chapter 293: Yeah, nobody's perfect
Yuzuha: You're not in love. You may think you are, you dumb fuck, but you're not.
Mitsuya: Yeah, well, how do you know the difference?
Yuzuha: I'm not into guys.
Mitsuya: Yeah, nobody's perfect.
Chapter 294: And you fucked it up!
Baji: A decision had to be made.
Chifuyu: And you fucked it up!
Chapter 295: I have nothing to say
Takeomi: I have nothing to say.
Shinichiro: That's okay, it was probably depressing anyway.
Chapter 296: You've accepted your flaws?
Wakasa: Accept your flaws, you'll feel better. It worked for me
Shinichiro: You've accepted your flaws?
Wakasa: No, I've accepted yours
Chapter 297: Which alphabet?
South: If any of you use my name again, I will remove your organs in alphabetical order. Any questions?
Shinichiro: Which alphabet?
Shinichiro: Sorry, you really didn’t want these questions, did you?
Chapter 298: It's just for precaution
Ran: *dives off the couch and slams into wall trying to get away from Rindou*
Rindou: What the hell. I don't have the plague...
Chapter 299: Not me!
Shinichiro: Alright, which one of us is gonna check outside?
Baji: Not me!
Hanma: Not me!
Shinichiro: Neither one of you are as dumb as you lead on to be.
Chapter 300: Lesbionage
Shinichiro: That moment when straight people assume you’re one of them and you feel like a secret agent.
Mikey: Bi spy.
Izana: On an ace case.
Baji: Secret gaygent.
Chapter 301: I want to have a baby...NOW
*Angry stirs from their slumber*
Senju: Angel, wake up!
Angry: Huh what?
Senju: If we had babies, would they have your looks and my brains? Or would they have my looks and your brains?
Angry: Hmm…option two. You’re such a gorgeous sight
Senju: I wanna have a baby...NOW
Chapter 302: Then die
This is slightly inspired on chapter 91 of Short Fics
Mikey/Baji: But we can't live without you, Haru! You are the one who makes sure we don't die from our stupidity!
Sanzu: Then die
Chapter 303: And???
Shion: They can't make me admit France exists, right? Legally, that's not allowed.
Shion: Sure, if France was REAL I'd say I liked it.
Shion: But who's to say.
Ran: I think France isn't real.
Rindou: Ran, you've been to France.
Chapter 304: Gender
If Mikey, Baji and Sanzu were in the same school be like
Also, this is chapter is thanks to CJ_Riker<3
Teacher: As today is only our first class, we will just be presenting ourselves. I want you to tell me your name, gender, age and best subject
Mikey: Sano Manjirou but I prefer Mikey, dorayaki/taiyaki, 15 and English!
Teacher: I said gender not favourite food
Mikey, smiling: And I said my gender is dorayaki/taiyaki
Teacher, sighing: Very well, class continue with the presentations
*the next day with another class*
Teacher: Please start your presentations
Teacher, feeling the start of an headache: Yes?
Baji: What is gender?
Class: ...'This guys dresses like a nerd but he is dumb'
Teacher: ...Excuse me?
Baji: Yeah, what is gender?
Teacher: ...Do you know someone named Sano Manjirou?
Baji: Yeah, he is one of my childhood friends. Why? Is he connected to what gender is or something?
Teacher: No but I was just curious. Can one of you please explain your classmate what gender is, please?
*two days later in another class*
Teacher: Before we start the presentations, I have a questions
Class: *looks curiously at their teacher*
Teacher: Do any of you know or are childhood friends with Sano Manjirou and Baji Keisuke?
Sanzu, sighing: Yes, I'm their childhood friend.
Teacher: If I ask you what your gender is, will you answer me truthfully?
Sanzu, confused but also knowing his friends did something stupid: Yeah, I'm genderfluid but you can use the pronouns they/them if you aren't sure how I feel
Teacher, relieved: That's good
Sanzu: May I ask why you asked that, sensei?
Teacher, looking done with everything: Mikey said that his gender is dorayaki/taiyaki and the other one didn't know what gender was.
Sanzu: I apologize for that, they are both idiots and the smarts all went to Mikey's siblings and Keisuke's mother
Teacher: Thanks kid
Chapter 305: You and me both, buddy
Kisaki: I find your lack of equilibrium disturbing.
Shinichiro: You and me both, buddy
Chapter 306: Mama's boy
Mitsuya: What the hell is Mikey doing?
Draken: I don't know and I don't care at this point
Angry: ...I think he is trying to rip that man's arm off
Peh-yan: How do we stop him?
Mitsuya: Don't look at me, I have no idea
Draken: I love my life too much to try and stop him when he is murderous
Baji, looking at Sanzu: Haru, love of my life and father of my not inexistent kids-
Sanzu: First, ewww! I would never be with you Keisuke, you are like the younger brother I never wanted
Baji: That hurt
Sanzu: Second, why does it need to be me? You can also do it
Mucho: Do what?
Baji: Because he would believe you on that faster than he would me
Takemichi: What are you guys talking about?
Sanzu, growling: You better pay me for this!
Baji, grinning: Promise, Haru-nii!
Pah-chin: You know each other?
Sanzu: Sadly, I'm childhood friends with him and Mikey
Hakkai: Ohhh, I see
Mitsuya: Didn't know that
*Sanzu sighs before making his way to where Mikey was still trying to rip the man's arm off*
Mikey, growling: Don't you dare put yourself in the middle, Sanzu
Sanzu: What would Aunty say if she saw this, Manjirou?
Mikey, stopping to look at Sanzu: Aunty?
Sanzu; Yes, Aunty Sakurako would be disappointed if she saw this
Mikey: ...Mama would?
Sanzu: Of course, while she never cared about you fighting other people you know that she wouldn't want you to kill or permanently injure someone
Mikey: Oh, Mama did dislike that
Sanzu: Come on, let's go to the others. We can call the police to take this man since he did try to hurt Emma-chan
Mikey: Mama would be proud if I did that, wouldn't she?
Sanzu, smiling softly: She would, Aunty Sakurako would be so proud of her angel
Mikey, grinning: Your right! Let's call the police and then take Emma to eat at Cozy Corner with us!
Sanzu: Whatever you want, my king
*back with the others*
Smiley: It is that easy?
Baji: Not really
Draken: Then how did Sanzu stop Mikey do easily?
Baji: Because he brought up how disappointed Aunty Sakurako would be of him
Kazutora: Aunty Sakurako?
Baji: Yep! Mikey is a Mama's boy!
Chapter 307: Butterfly
Baji: Does anyone want to see a butterfly?
Kazutora: For goodness sake, no…
Baji: *chucks a stick of butter across the room*
Chapter 308: Nice ass shirt
Ryusei: That is a nice ass shirt.
Angry: Thank you, but, to be honest, it's called "pants" not an "ass shirt."
Chapter 309: I’ll either lose my gay card or get shot
Takeomi: The fact there’s only two numbers between 4 and 7 is so twisted and fucked up. I’m literally gonna be sick
Benkei: The kids are learning how to count
Shinichiro: Technically there’s an infinite amount of numbers between them but I’m afraid that if I try to explain decimals I’ll either lose my gay card or get shot.
Chapter 310: Only the good die young?
This doesn't really goes with canon seeing how Kisaki and South ended but yeah<3
Hanma: Only the good die young?
Hanma: Phew, good thing I’m so incredibly awful.
Chapter 311: Be more specific
Kidnapper: We are with your boyfriend.
Takemichi: Which one?
Kidnapper, confused: The one with black hair
Takemichi: Be more specific
Kidnapper: Clear eyes
Takemichi: Not helping... Kazutora, Chifuyu, Hanma and Kisaki are like that ... but it doesn't matter, any of them will end you quickly, good luck.
Chapter 312: He the fuck
Ran, washing the dishes: Who the fuck used this pan??
Ran: Wait. I the fuck used this pan…
Rindou: It was you the fuck.
Ran: It was I the fuck...
Sanzu: Who cooks rice in a pan?
Rindou: He the fuck.
Chapter 313: Fucker
Rindou: Hello my beautiful brother! Just wondering, did you eat my ice cream as it seems to have disappeared and I was so looking forward to eat it.
Chapter 314: You know what? That's fair
Ryusei: Okay, I'll be back later
Baji: Alright, I'll try not to set the place on fire while you're gone
Ryusei: You joke as if that isn't a valid fucking concern
Baji: you know what? That's fair
Chapter 315: Skills of a lady
Hina: *pulls a glass a water from out of nowhere*
Chifuyu: Where did you get that?
Hina: My bag
Chifuyu: How do you keep a glass of water in your bag?
Hina: Skills of a lady.
Chapter 316: Furry feet
Shion: I want my furry feet!
Izana: Stop. Just say slippers.
Chapter 317: I think someone found it
Hakkai: Hey Draken, is the door locked or something? Why can't we get in?
Draken: Oh, Chifuyu is missing their emotional-support spider named Aracne. Sanzu and Takemichi are helping them find it.
Mikey: *high-pitched screaming*
Draken: I think someone found it
Chapter 318: What are you two doing?
Takeomi: What are you two doing?
Senju: Our candy rolled under the sofa so we're trying to fish it out using Sanzu's sword and my sock
Shinichiro: You know you don't have to eat candy that's fallen on the floor
Mikey: We still will eat candy fallen on the floor, but it's nice to know that we don't have to
Chapter 319: Kissaroo
Senju: A few days ago, Makoto told me that when he plays online comp games, responds to dudes getting angry by saying ‘a kissaroo from me to you’ in a slightly goofy voice.
Senju: He said they absolutely lose their shit every time, insisting things like ‘I don’t want a kissaroo from you! Only tall blond girls!’
Senju: He said that they always say ‘kissaroo’
Senju: I can’t stop thinking about this
Chapter 320: Gay rage
Takuya: My gay rage grows stronger every day.
Chapter 321: The stars are not on position
Mikey: “Because of reasons” is always a legitimate reason.
Baji: “Because screw you, that’s why” is also acceptable.
Sanzu: “For science” is good too.
Senju: Don’t forget “The stars are not in position”.
Chapter 322: I'm not gay but DAMN
Shinichiro, looking at Benkei: I'm not gay but DAMN
Akane: You don't have to be gay to appreciate a good looking guy
Shinichiro: Nah, I'd fuck him
Akane: Oh, okay, shit
Chapter 323: BajiFuyuTora be like
Kazutora, to Baji and Chifuyu: On our first date, I'll carve our initials into a tree.
Chifuyu: Aww, that's so romantic
Kazutora: It's the most romantic way to show you I have a knife
Baji: ...To protect us, right?
Kazutora, smiling: Fuck up and you will find out
Chapter 324: What is?
Mitsuya: This is about the size of one Draken.
Draken: What is?
Mitsuya: This hug.
Chapter 325: Because there is none on google
Emma: Why are you listed on the dark web as an assassin-for-hire?
Sanzu: LISTEN I CAN EXPLA-
Sanzu: Why were you looking for assassins on the dark web?
Emma: Because there’s none on google.
Chapter 326: Original timeline Mikey when the other Mikeys ask him about Takemichi
Mikey, when asked about Takemichi: I hate to say it — I hope I don't sound ridiculous — I don't know who this man is. I mean, he could be walking down the street, I wouldn't...I wouldn't know a thing.
Chapter 327: "Thank you"?!
Draken x Naoto has been on my mind and it is all Uko-chan's fault
Naoto: You just murdered that man!
Draken: …Yeah. He was a murderer and a human trafficker. So what I believe you were trying to say is “Thank you.”
Naoto: “Thank you”?!
Draken: You’re welcome!
Naoto: What? No-! I-!
Chapter 328: Hey, are you a terrorist?
Chifuyu: Hey, are u a terrorist?
Ran: Wait, hold up
Ran: WHO TOLD YOU THAT???
Chifuyu, about to type 'cuz ur the bomb':
Chapter 329: I didn't steal your girlfriend
Kisaki: Oh, don’t you boo me. He stole my girlfriend!
Takemichi: I didn’t steal your girlfriend. She came running!
Chapter 330: Sorry, Naoto is still working
Draken: Inui, can you pass me my will to live?
Inui: Sorry, Naoto is still working.
Chapter 331: I have a crush
Mikey: I have a crush.
Draken: Always a crush, never a therapist.
Chapter 332: I left them at the park
Yamagishi: The base is gone into lockdown I need the emergency tools to get it open
Makoto: I gave them to Takuya
Takuya: I gave them to Akkun
Akkun: I gave them to Naoto
Naoto: I gave them to Takemichi
Takemichi: I left them at the park
Chapter 333: You're on thin fucking ice
Takeomi, done with Senju and Sanzu: Swear words are illegal now. If you say one, you'll be fined.
Takeomi: You're on thin fucking ice.
Takeomi: Oh shit.
Chapter 334: I have a plan
Baji: I have a plan.
Kazutora: I have the hospital on speed dial.
Chapter 335: What are you doing here, Mikey?
*Emma, Hina, Senju and Sanzu hanging out in Emma’s bedroom*
Senju: I'd never thought I would say this. But I am actually having a good time!
Mikey: *barges into the bedroom*
Emma: *annoyed* Hey! What are you doing here, Mikey?
Sanzu: *painting Hina's nails* Yeah, this is girls night.
Chapter 336: It's one in the afternoon
Ran: Well, what a day that was. Absolutely packed with fun-stuffed memories. But I'm off to bed now, thank you.
Smiley: It's one in the afternoon.
Ran: Is it? Oh, shit.
Chapter 337: I don't bite
Kazutora: There's no need to be afraid of me. I don't bite.
Ryusei: Yea, but do you stab?
Kazutora: *holding up his knife, looking back at Ryusei* I don't bite.
Chapter 338: I'm sold
Wakasa: He's a 10 but he'll text you all day about the random trivia he learned.
Shinichiro, smiling: So what you're saying is - he's good looking, attached to me, and has a chance of winning us trivia money every other week? I'm sold.
Chapter 339: Being Mikey's boyfriend...
Takemichi: Being Mikey's boyfriend is like looking both ways before crossing the street and then getting hit by an airplane
Chapter 340: Oh my god, I'm fucked
Wakasa: Holy fucking shit!!
Wakasa: Putain de merde!!
Benkei: I- that's not what I meant.
Takeomi, from across the room: Did he just swear in french? Oh my god, I'm fucked
Chapter 341: Leave him be
Hina: Something tells me Mikey's going to be a bit more unhinged from now on...
Mikey: *holding a lit match and a bag of cheetos*
Takemichi: Leave him be. He deserves to be as unhinged as he can.
Chapter 342: ...I-I'm just going to the library, though
Chifuyu: Bye now, don't forget to eat the lunch I packed for you.
Ryusei: Don't talk to strangers.
Baji: If anything happens, just call and we'll come pick you up.
Kazutora: Don't get lost, be careful, okay?
Takemichi: ...I-I'm just going to the library, though.
Chapter 343: You know me so well
Baji: If I could rearrange the alphabet the first thing I'd do is put U and I together
Angry: If you could rearrange the alphabet the first thing you would do is spell SEX and then laugh about it with my brother
Baji: …You know me so well
Chapter 344: Hot air balloons kick ass
Takemichi: Hot air balloons kick ass.
Takuya: Are they safe?
Takemichi: Not really.
Takuya: Can you stop if you don't like it?
Takemichi: Think again.
Takuya: But can you steer?
Takemichi: Listen don't bring that negative energy into this wicker basket okay I'm gonna light this flamethrower.
Chapter 345: Haitanis talking about their lovers
Rindou: When I found Angry it was like an angelic choir sang down from the heavens
Ran: And when I found Shion he was wandering outside a Walmart at 2am
Chapter 346: Look, you seem nice
South: Look, you seem very nice.
Senju: Thank you!
South: I have no room in my life for people like that.
Chapter 347: Do you honestly think 'South' is my real name?
South: …and that’s why I’m not allowed at Applebee’s.
Rindou: How are you not on some watchlist???
South: Do you honestly think 'South' is my real name?
Chapter 348: You said to raise my grades!
Ryoko: Why is your report card taped to the ceiling??
Baji: You said to raise my grades!
Ryoko: This is why your grades are what they are, aren’t they?
Chapter 349: Rindou, grab that hoe
Koko: Everyone, pretend to be gardening. Rindou, grab that hoe.
*Rindou grabs Sanzu*
Sanzu, with a glare: That's not what he meant!
Chapter 350: ...Dear gods
Makoto: Why do people have quiet and respectful funerals? When I die I want my ashes mixed with glitter and pecked tightly in a coffin. and then they blow up the coffin and blast ‘Thanks for the memories’ by Fall Out Boy as the glitter rains down.
Inui: ....Dear gods
Chapter 351: Is Shinichiro okay with this?
Chifuyu: How does this work?
Hina: I’m dating Takemichi and Emma
Emma: And I’m dating Hina and Takemichi
Takemichi: And I’m dating the two most wonderful girls in the universe.
*Emma and Hina hug Takemichi tighter*
Baji: Is Shinichiro okay with this?
Shinichiro: They leave their door open that’s all I ask.
Chapter 352: You kissed my brother?
Mikey: You kissed my brother?
Takuya: In my defence it was very dark and he’s a very attractive guy
Chapter 353: Takemichi & Hanma be like
Hanma, stubbing his toe: FUCK! I'm dead, dying, I can already see the light. Tell the others I loved them and keep Kazutora out of my room there are things in my closet that will traumatize him...give that stuff to Ran-
Takemichi, breaking five ribs an arm and a leg and suffering severe internal bleeding: Well this is irritating.
Chapter 354: You kneed me
Akkun: *rolls over and knees Izana in the ribs*
Izana: You kneed me.
Akkun, half asleep: Yeah, I do need you.
Izana, choked up: Oh, okay.
Chapter 355: I'm not saying you’re wrong.....
Yamagishi: A study finds that eating ice cream for breakfast may improve mental performance.
Makoto: I'm not saying you’re wrong.....I'm just saying that the times I had ice cream for breakfast were not during the times my life was going well.
Chapter 356: Well, I warned you
Hina: Well, I warned you
Takemichi: You did
Hina: But did you listen?
Hina: Do you ever listen?
Hina: ...Are you listening now?
Chapter 357: You should wear makeup, Shin-nii
Emma: Why does Wakasa wear makeup?
Shinichiro: To look pretty.
Emma: But he's already pretty.
Emma: You should wear makeup, Shin-nii.
Chapter 358: My to-go-lazy meal
Takemichi: I'm tired of people saying "here's my go-to lazy meal" and then they start chopping an onion.
Angry: I'm so sorry but it's risotto and it does have chopped onion. In my defence, I keep a giant bag of pre-chopped onion in the freezer.
Peh-yan: Your lazy meal is risotto?? What's your lazy dessert, a soufflé?? Is your go-to quick read waiting for the bus the Poetic Edda in its original Old Norse?!?
Chifuyu: Lazy meal: raw, uncooked steak straight out of the fridge.
Hakkai: Mine's a one-dollar pot pie. Cook it in the microwave.
Sanzu: Okay you two are getting food poisoning.
Chapter 359: Epitome
Chifuyu: What’s on your mind?
Ryusei: You, actually.
Ryusei: Specifically how you said ‘epitome’, you said epi-tome and that’s been replaying in my head ever since.
Chapter 360: This is an outrage!
Rindou: This is an outrage!
Rindou: I didn't get to work an hour late just to be the first one here!
Chapter 361: Nostalgia
Mikey: Izana, what’s nostalgia?
Izana: Oh, it’s when you miss something that’s really old.
Shinichiro: I'm back from work!
Emma: We missed you!
Mikey, whispering: Nostalgia.
Chapter 362: Yas queen
Takeomi: I have 2 kids, I’m not risking it
Akane: Are you saying my life matters less because I don’t conform to society’s heteronormative, child- centric ideals?
Takeomi: Are you really playing the gay card right now?
Akane: *monotone* Yas queen
Chapter 363: Good one
Mikey: Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Mansuke: Leaving this house and becoming a productive member of society?
Emma: *snorts* Good one.
Chapter 364: He does hate those
Wakasa, zipping past the kids:
Baji and Mikey: ...?
Takeomi, clearly pissed, running after him: YOU CORNBREAD FED MOTHERFUCKER COME HERE-
Emma: What was that about?
Sanzu, going back to his DS so he can play with his pokemon: If I'm right, it's Waka-nii's turn to make an appearance at a gala with Take-nii.
Senju, nodding sagely: He does hate those.
Chapter 365: Didn't think so
Draken: Do you guys ever have a civilized conversation that doesn't require insulting each other every time you get a chance?
Kakuchou: Didn't think so.
Chapter 366: I am trying to kill you dumbass
Sanzu: I wanna do bad things to you.
Hanma: Like what??
Sanzu: Like tie you up, keep you in my basement put a dagger to your neck and slit your throat
Hanma: Oooh kinky (;
Sanzu: I am trying to kill you dumbass
Chapter 367: I'm so sleepy of your shit
Shion: 'Sleepy' is so much cuter than 'tired.' Everyone needs to stop saying 'tired' and start saying 'sleepy.'
Izana: I'm so sleepy of your shit.
Chapter 368: That's so cute...
Hina: I'm sad...
Baji: The smallest bird egg belongs to the hummingbird and is the size of a pea.
Hina, actually crying: That's so cute...I want to see one now...
Baji: Why are you crying? The bird fact was supposed to distract you.
Chapter 369: You're a fucking nightmare
Senju: Am I a bad girl?
Yamagishi: Yeah you’re a bad girl.
Senju: Oh yeah?
Senju: *pulls him closer*
Senju: So how bad am I?
Yamagishi, remembering Senju said she didn’t want dessert and then ate his: You’re a fucking nightmare.
Chapter 370: He's got a point, Kakuchou
Sanzu: I’m such a whore
Kakuchou: No, you’re not
Sanzu: Yes I am, you ignorant slut
Kakuchou: I am not a slut
Sanzu: Have you seen your hair?
Kakuchou: What does tha—
Sanzu: YOU EVEN STAND LIKE A SLUT
Kakuchou: *is standing with his hands on his hips*
Takemichi: He’s got a point, Kakuchou
Chapter 371: Duh
Shion: When we get married, do we get to have two bachelor parties with twice the amount of strippers?
Chapter 372: Period cramps
Makoto: My uterus needs to stop cutting off its oxygen and act like an adult.
Makoto: Period cramps are caused by your uterus contracting so hard it cuts off its oxygen, which sends a pain signal to the brain.
Akkun: Why couldn't you just say you had cramps??
Chapter 373: They are doing WHAT to the bard?!
Yamagishi: Chris Pine is Edgin the bard
Inui: They are doing WHAT to the bard?!
Chapter 374: Ass
Chifuyu: *pointing to Ryusei* Smartass.
Chifuyu: *pointing to Baji* Badass.
Chifuyu: *pointing to Kazutora* Nice ass.
Chapter 375: I mean, of course!
Yuzuha: I actually hate it when relatives say, "sure looks like you're having a lot of fun in college!"
Yuzuha: I mean, of course! As if I would post the pics of me crying in the library on social media.
Chapter 376: You dumb shit-
Instagram: Type password
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Instagram: You dumb shit-
Chapter 377: Rokuhara playing sports
*Rokuhara Tandai is playing soccer*
Rindou: Are you upset you don’t get to be on the same team as South?~
Shion: Have you ever played a game with South?
Kakuchou: Have you ever been trapped in a cage with a wolverine?
*meanwhile, on the other side of the field*
South, chasing Ran: I SAID FASTER! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORD “FASTER” MEANS? IT MEANS MORE FAST!!!!
Chapter 378: Senju.
Senju: But…Mikey’s a boy
Sanzu: Yeah, oh
Chapter 379: Because I have class, bitch!
Wakasa: *is fixing something on the gym*
Wakasa: Goddamn piece of shit, motherfucker!
Benkei: Wakasa, don’t spew profanity like that in front of the kids!
Wakasa: I don’t spew profanity! I enunciate it, clearly!
Wakasa: Because I have class, bitch!
Chapter 380: I'm so proud
Mikey, greeting anybody: This is my brother, and this is my brother's ex-boyfriend!
Benkei, embarrassed: Sorry, what Mikey's trying to say is that I'm now Shinichiro's husband
Shinichiro, sniffling: I'm so proud.
Chapter 381: Relationship goals
Kazutora: I want to be in a relationship where when we're alone it's really calm and soft and cute but in public it's bastard time. Like babe go put on your most over the top batshit crazy outfit, we are going to cause trouble and look sexy together
Chapter 382: HinaKisa be like
Hina, about Kisaki: This man can't be fixed, I can fuck him though. Maybe that will calm him down
Chapter 383: If Chome had a boyfriend
Chome, during a Valhalla sleepover: If I had a boyfriend, I would watch him do flips into the pool and say 'That was so fucking sick, babe' every time
Chapter 384: We're are built different
Hanma, talking to Chifuyu about Kazutora: No, YOU'RE looking at him respectfully. I'm objectifying him to filth, we are built different
Chapter 385: What Hina actually said to Michi before Toman vs Kantou
Hina: Do me a favour and stay alive, please
Chapter 386: Over
Chonbo: Choji, I know you like using the walkie talkies but if you keep this up our relationship is over
Choji: Our relationship is what? Over.
Chapter 387: Give it
Koko, scratching at his arm: There's a fucking mosquito in here and I can't catch him
Rindou: Oh shit hold on. Shiooooon?
Shion, not looking up from his book but holding out his hand: Give it.
Rindou, grinning and handing him a slipper:
Shion, flicking his slipper and crushing the mosquito against the wall beside Koko: Handled.
Koko, bewildered: Did you just snipe a mosquito with a house shoe???
Rindou, wheezing as he snatches the remote from Koko: There we go, all the finesse of a Hispanic mom. Thanks, Shion.
Shion, invested in the fifteenth chapter of his book: Mhm.
Chapter 388: I think I'd rather kill myself
Emma: Would you rather stop making out with Shin-nii or tell your brother you are dating Shin-nii?
Sanzu: I think I'd rather kill myself
Senju: We TALKED about this
Chapter 389: Why can't I have a normal brother?
Emma: Why can’t I have a normal brother?
Mikey, trying to raise the dead with Chifuyu and Hanma: ríšę, Rīsé!!
Chapter 390: ...What happened?
Chifuyu: You chloroformed the guard?!
Takemichi: I panicked!!
Peh-yan: Shit! We gotta do something or we're totally screwed!!
Hakkai: I don’t know what to do!! My whole brain is crying!!
Sanzu: Welp *pulls out a sword* No loose ends.
Inui: Guys, guys, guys. Hey, hey. No need for that. I have an idea.
Inui: It may sound a little weird, but trust me.
Guard, coming to: ...What happened?
Angry, lying on the floor with the others: Oh, we ALL got chloroformed.
Chapter 391: Past Takemichi in the Manila timeline
Past Takemichi: I have got to go missing
Chapter 392: It is him
Mikey/Hina, about past Takemichi: He is a 10 but he disappears when he's not okay or things are too much for him to handle
Chapter 393: Me about Sanzu
Rindou, pointing to Sanzu: You think he is hot? Wait until he draws out his katana, you will never believe how sexy someone fighting with a katana is until you see it
Chapter 394: Mikey when it comes to Takemichi
Mikey, to Takemichi: No offense but I can't stop daydreaming about being able to hug and hold your hand whenever I want
Chapter 395: Biblically
Sanzu/Hanma/Baji/Mikey/Izana/Kazutora: When will I be biblically recognized as a menace?
Sanzu/Hanma/Baji/Mikey/Izana/Kazutora: Meant to say publicly but you what, yeah
Chapter 396: You're not gazelles
*Akashi and Sano family during a Gala*
Takeomi: “Be appropriate” on three. Quietly. One, two, three.
Izana, Mikey, Sanzu, Emma and Senju: Be appropriate.
Shinichiro: Now, break it up. We look weird.
Izana, Mikey, Sanzu, Emma and Senju: Okay.
*the kids start to walk around*
Takeomi: Don’t move as a group. You’re not gazelles.
Chapter 397: Koko....
Takeomi: In 1479, beetles were put on trial for 'creeping secretly in the earth'.
Koko, while counting his money: And yet we still let Sanzu, Ran and Rindou roam free...
Koko: What? It is the truth
Chapter 398: I tried to have Takemichi killed
Sanzu: I tried to have Takemichi killed. Isn't that personal?
Takemichi: That's okay, you thought I was going to hurt Mikey-kun. Plus it was kinda hot
Chapter 399: Then no, absolutely not
Sakurako: There's something I want to tell you. Will you hear me out?
Shinichiro: Depends on what it is.
Sakurako: It concerns your father.
Shinichiro: Then no, absolutely not.
Chapter 400: I'm not mentally ill
Izana: I’m not mentally ill.
Izana: I just have to catch whoever keeps putting dirty dishes in the sink and kill them.
Izana: Then I’ll get to function normally.
Chapter 401: It's an alpaca!!
Wakasa: What the hell is that?
Senju, walking out of the elevator giddily with Sanzu: Its an alpaca!!
Sanzu: We got the last one
Wakasa: This ones on you *walks away*
Takeomi: Haru, Senju.....
Chapter 402: Do you want to be a duck?
Shinichiro: I hate how you're just born out of nowhere, and you're forced to go to school and get education so you can get a job. What if I wanted to be a duck? No one ever asked me if I want to be a duck!
Sakurako, patting Shinichiro’s head: Do you want to be a duck?
Shinichiro, crying: yEA
Chapter 403: You're annoying
Draken: You're annoying
Hanma: But you love me
Draken: Doesn't make you less annoying
Chapter 404: ...You're high
Draken: ...You're high
Hanma: Highly in love with you
Chapter 405: Thanks...
Hanma, texting Draken: Happy Thanksgiving! I'm thankful for all the times you rode this dick
Chapter 406: How would you know?
Angry: I mean, I don't think sucking dick is that hard
Smiley: Okay. How would you know??
Angry: Huh? I used to give Mikey, Draken and some other guys on the gang head before and after big fights. Ya know, to get them more relaxed.
Smiley: EXCUSE ME YOU WHAT??
Chapter 407: Oh, competition
Shinichiro: When Mikey was born, the gods said, "He's too perfect for this world."
Izana: Please. When he was born, the devil said, "Oh, competition."
Chapter 408: The gang parents be like
Chonbo: We're not getting paid enough for this.
Kakuchou: ...But we don't get paid.
Gang parents: Exactly!
Chapter 409: I love you too
Yamagishi, walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Senju, I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK.
Senju, sipping coffee happily: I love you too
Chapter 410: Pokémon logic
Peh-yan: Whenever a game has an elemental based fighting system, I always, without fail, apply Pokémon logic.
Angry: To be fair, Pokémon logic is rooted in normal logic.
Takemichi: Yeah, everyone knows a wrestler’s biggest weakness is the local pigeons.
Sanzu: Go outside and try to suplex a bird.
Chifuyu: Tell me how bug resists fighting.
Hakkai: Go outside and try to suplex a bug.
Chapter 411: Now let's get back to work
*Ran and Kakuchou working on their late reports*
Ran: At least we are getting to spend quality time together doing this paperwork.
Kakuchou: Yeah, totally. *stands up* I’ll be back in 50 minutes.
Ran: *stands up too* What? Where are you going? We have to finish this by morning or Koko will kill us. I’m too young to die.
Kakuchou: I know, I just have something important I have to do.
Ran: *crosses his arms* What?
Kakuchou: I have to get… more pens.
Ran: Then why are you changing your clothes? You really think you can lie to me?
Kakuchou: No. *says ironically*
Ran: Aha! That was a lie, you do think you can lie to me.
Ran: Wait, was that a lie?
Kakuchou: Maybe, see you later.
*Kakuchou comes back a hour later to help Ran finish the reports*
Ran: So… are you gonna tell me what important thing you had to do?
Kakuchou: Koko. Now let’s get back to work.
Chapter 412: Making sure they survive is better than nothing
Karen: Why can't we just leave Mikey and Emma at home with Izana? I think he's old enough now to babysit-
Sakurako: Because, Izana's idea of babysitting them is just "making sure they all survive."
Chapter 413: I hate peanut butter...
Hina: I just ate two very large spoon full of peanut butter…
Mikey: And the problem with that is?
Hina: I hate peanut butter…
Takemichi: …I’m not ready to be a dad
Chapter 414: He's not wrong
Wakasa: Don't take this the wrong way, but its starting to look like Shinichiro has an adoption problem.
Baji: Look, let me clarify this for you. Shinichiro doesn't adopt kids, kids adopt him and we give him little to no choice in the matter.
Takemichi: He's not wrong.
Chapter 415: Someone left me a message
Mikey, unpacks his lunchbox: Someone left me a message
Message: "I saw a chocolate cupcake in your lunchbox and as a member of the family that is (unwillingly) associated with you and (unfortunately) has a (limited, but) real investment in your physiological wellbeing, I have graciously protected you from a glucose overdose. So I changed it with an apple. Don't bother thanking me. Have the day you deserve. Regards, Izana. P.S., If you tell Shinichiro or Emma about this I will Find You."
Mikey: I don't know if I should be enraged or endeared-
Chapter 416: I wonder what he is listening to
Yuzuha: Wow! He's going fast on that treadmill, I wonder what he's listening to
Inui's headphones: COVER GIRL! PUT THE BASS IN YOUR WALK!
Chapter 417: Stress
Shion: Uno, dos, stress
Chapter 418: Now I'm going back to straight-dom
Hina: Welp, that was fun. Flirted with Emma, learned I was bisexual, and flirted with Emma some more. Now I’m going back to straight-dom. Goodbye.
Chapter 419: Stabby Roomba
Sanzu, giving his presentation: -And I hate that were just born out of nowhere. I mean seriously. “Here, go to school so you can learn useless shit that our society deems necessary, and then go get a job where you’ll never be happy, but act happy or everyone will bug you.”
Sanzu: My point is that I think I should be a Stabby Roomba and I hate you all
Chapter 420: Mom, can we get a ride?
Sanzu: Mom, can we get a ride?
Takeomi, currently ringing up a customer:
Wakasa, the customer:
Takeomi, about to have a breakdown: I… I’ll take my 15 now..
Shinichiro, in tears: Take your time, I won’t tell a soul-
Chapter 421: Can I ask my question now?
Hanma: Can I ask a question?
Hanma: *shoots the ceiling*
Hanma: Can I ask my question now?
Chapter 422: You're cooking?
Emma: You’re cooking?
Emma: Are you sure that’s a good idea after last time? You looked really creepy without eyebrows.
Chapter 423: Wow, that is dark
Mikey: I stay awake at night because I don't even know what my favorite color is, and I'm afraid I don't have a real personality.
Sanzu: Wow, that is dark.
Chapter 424: I'll get you the biggest ice cream available Rindou!
Hanma, plotting: Hey, if any pretty person asks, you're my son, okay?
Rindou, confused: But why Uncle Hanma? Papa Ran and Papa Shion are my papas.
Hanma: It worked for your Papa Ran to get your Papa Shion, so you're helping me score a date today!
Rindou, tearing up: But RinRin thought Uncle Hanma wanted to play with RinRin today! RinRin doesn't want to lie who Papa is!
Hanma, panicking: Okay, okay! That was a bad idea anyways. How about we get some ice-cream and play spies afterwards?
Rindou, teary eyed: Carry RinRin?
Hanma, apologetic: Of course Rindou. *picks up Rindou* Uncle Shuji is so sorry for making you cry. Let's get your ice cream, okay?
Kazutora: You two are so sweet! Is he your son? He's adorable.
Hanma, awkward laugh: Ah, no. He's my nephew. I'm looking after him today. He's a cutie right? Hahaha!
Kazutora: You're so good with him! Oh, I have to go, but we should meet up again! How about tomorrow noon at the coffee shop at 2nd Street? I mean, if you're free? Oh! How rude of me, my name is Hanemiya Kazutora
Hanma, stunned: Y-yeah! I'm free! I'm Hanma Shuji! S-see you then! *waves goodbye to Kazutora*
Rindou, smug: *being carried* You're welcome Uncle Franky. I got you a date without lying about Papa.
Hanma, shocked: You little- were you even really crying?!
Rindou, giggling: Maybe! You promised me ice cream Uncle Hanma!
Hanma, relieved laugh: I'll get you the biggest ice cream available Rindou!
Chapter 425: I'm God
Y/N, when anyone offers them to join a gang: No thanks.
Y/N, thinking of all the ships they will be able to put together and how they can change Tokyo Revengers plot: I'm God.
Chapter 426: Got it? Let's go!
Hina: What is he doing..?
Mikey: Uhm… it… it looks like he’s talking to Kisaki..?
Takemichi: *whispering to Kisaki* Okay, so, the plan is, I’ll distract Senju, and then you go and jump into her lap okay? Got it? Let’s go!
Chapter 427: My thoughts are awesome
Past Takemichi, locked on his own mind, when Takemichi comes back to the past: I'm not afraid of be alone in this dark cell with my thoughts. My thoughts are awesome.
Past Takemichi: Takuya, Kaku-chan, Hina, Mizo middle gang, those friends I don't remember making, losing memories if I even lived them...
Past Takemichi, crying: No one loves me, they are all going to leave me. Now I'm going crazy and probably also going to die alone.
Past Takemichi: Man, that happened fast.
Chapter 428: I want no part on it
Takemichi: Can you help me out with something?
Takuya: That sounds like responsibility and I want no part in it
Chapter 429: She's dodging the question!
Emma: Mom, are you gay?
Karen: I’m homophobic, Emma.
Izana: She’s dodging the question!
Chapter 430: Desperate times call for desperate measures!
Inui: You stabbed him in the eye with a toy screwdriver????
Makoto: Desperate times call for desperate measures!
Chapter 431: What? No, I-
Hina: Do you ever get pre-annoyed? Like you already know someone is going to piss you off?
Draken: What? No, I—
Mikey: *enters the room*
Draken: *clenches jaw*
Chapter 432: Absolutely
Shion: Do you believe in conspiracy theories?
Shion: Would you like to start one?
Chapter 433: Stephen King
Takeomi: So, demon spawns, what'd you get me for Christmas?
Sanzu, handing him a box: Here.
Takeomi: *opens box*
Senju: It's a first edition copy of Misery by Stephen King.
Takeomi: Oh, how original, even though I have 3 copies of these already.
Shinichiro: Takeomi, be nice
Wakasa: Even I have to admit that's a nice gift. The kids probably murdered their allowance for that.
Sanzu: Oh, no, I didn't. That's one of his copies.
Takeomi: Wait a minute, you stole my book and gifted it back to me?
Takeomi: You little-
Sanzu: Look at the first page
Takeomi: *sighs and opens book* (;° ロ°) *carefully takes a seat then reads aloud the text* To Akashi takeomi, you can, you should, and if you're brave enough to start, you will. With best wishes, Stephen King
Senju: Yeah, Akane wanted to get her book signed so we got one of your copies and went with her. Sorry if you didn't want anyone writing on it, he kinda added a few things to your notes
Takeomi: (⚆ᗝ⚆) *shaking, while holding the book* Stephen King read my notes?!?!?!
Sanzu: Yes, I remember him complimenting them and saying you were very observant.
Chapter 434: It's not even four words
Shinichiro: Four word horror story. "I heard my wife knock on the bathroom door, but then I remembered… Our bathroom doesn't have a door"
Akane: … I'm sorry, but the confusion about why your bathroom doesn't have a door outweighs any feelings of horror this might evoke
Shinichiro: Can't afford door. The horror here is the realities of life
Takeomi: So what the fuck was your wife even knocking on
Wakasa: This di-
Benkei: It's not even four words
Chapter 435: Quidditch
Sanzu, commenting quidditch: If anyone’s keeping track of how many times Ryuuguuji has been distracted by the Ravenclaw seeker and missed the quaffle so far in the match, please share it with me. My count is on eleven
Baji, also commenting: In other news Sano Manjirou wants me to publicly state that if Hufflepuff chaser Ryuuguuji Ken doesn’t take his eyes off his sister and start scoring he will make sure that Draken become the Haitanis only prank victim for the rest of the year.
Chapter 436: You complete me
Smiley: I want to tell a joke, but I only remember the punch line.
Ran: Go ahead.
Ran: When is the best time to go to the dentist?
Smiley: You complete me.
Chapter 437: I can't believe this
Draken: I can't believe this
Naoto: Believe what?
Draken: That you'd do this to me
Naoto: What did I do-
Draken: YOU'RE MAKING YOURSELF LOOK CUTE AGAIN! STOP IT! I'M TOO GAY FOR THIS!
Chapter 438: The container, Y/N
Mitsuya: Shake it.
Y/N: *starts dancing*
Mitsuya: The container, Y/N.
Chapter 439: How Chifuyu's mind works
Baji/Ryusei/Kazutora/Takemichi: *doing something dangerous*
Chifuyu: 'Part of me thinks this is really self destructive behaviour but most of me just thinks it’s really hot.'
Chapter 440: No, we didn't!
Sanzu, storming into the living room with rainbow-dyed hair: ALRIGHT, which one of you jackasses did this???
Senju, with neon purple-dyed hair: *glances over at Mikey*
Mikey, with swirly pink and green-dyed hair: *glances back at Senju*
Senju: Heh-heh... Why are you looking at us...?
Mikey: Y-yeah... It could’ve been Baji and Takemichi...
Sanzu: It can't be them! They just spent the whole night trying to glitter-bomb each other!
Baji, covered in red glitter: No we didn't!
Takemichi, covered in blue glitter: Yeah! You can't prove it!
Chapter 441: Rindou loves me?
Angry: Oh! He remembered.
Smiley: Remembered what?
Angry: It was like months ago and I saw this jacket in the window. I told Rindou it was just like the one dad had when I were kids. I can’t believe he remembered.
Mitsuya: I can’t believe he did this.
Mucho: Come on, Rindou? Remember when he fell in love with Sanzu and bought him that expensive cat jewel.
Angry: What did you just say?
Mucho: Cat jewel?
Angry: No, no, no. The love part. Rindou loves me?
*Angry finally realizes it*
Angry: Oh my…
Mucho, rubbing his head: Oh, no, no, no.
Sanzu: That’s good. Keep rubbing your head. That’ll turn back time.
Chapter 442: Mochizuki
Shinichiro: Hey, have you deleted your social media accounts?
Izana: No, why
Shinichiro: I couldn’t find your page the other day.
Izana: Oh it’s probably because I’ve changed my name on them
Shinichiro: What, why?
Izana: Well since everything with my parents came to light Kurokawa isn’t doing so well and I wanted to distance myself from it all
Shinichiro: Makes sense, what have you changed it to now then?
Izana: Mochizuki. Mochizuki Izana on Facebook and IzaMochi on Instagram
Shinichiro: As in Mochizuki Kanji?
Izana: Yeah it made sense you know, I mean legally it’s been Mochizuki since the wedding anyway.
Shinichiro, eyebrow twitching dangerously: What wedding?
Izana: Oh it was for a mission but we decided we were happy staying married so here we are.
Shinichiro, protective brother mode activated: You mean to tell me that you and Mochi have been secretly married?
Izana: I mean the Haitanis live-streamed it, if that helps?
Shinichiro, grabbing his heels: Nope.
Izana: Shin, what’s with the heels?
Shinichiro: It’s going to help me in my talk with Mochi
Izana: Shin, no! You can’t attack my wife!
Shinichiro, putting the bow down: Fine!
Chapter 443: I love it when you two impersonate normal people
Mikey: You are supposed to bang your fist against mine.
Mikey: I am told it is a widely accepted gesture for mutual success.
Emma: I love it when you two impersonate normal people.
Chapter 444: Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey
Takemichi: Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey
Mikey: ...How did you know where I was staying?
Hina, smiling: Never you mind
Chapter 445: You can
Emma: Ugh! I'm so tired of boys I wish I could date girls like you
Senju: You can
Emma: Oh Senju, you’re so funny
Chapter 446: We may have did
Mitsuya: You lied?
Smiley: We may have.
Mitsuya: You may have or did you?
Angry: We may have did.
Chapter 447: Can you sing me a song to help me sleep?
Naoto is MiTakeHina's kid
Naoto: Can you sing me a song to help me sleep?
Mikey: *clears throat*
Mikey: I LOVE BAD BITCHES—
Hina/Takemichi, from the other room: MIKEY!
Mikey: Twinkle twinkle little star—
Chapter 448: ...Takemichi
Mikey: Everything is falling...
Mikey: ...The leaves...
Mikey: ...The rain...
Mikey: ...My mental health...
Mikey: ...Takemichi *pushes Takemichi down the stairs*
Chapter 449: I'm not!
Yuzuha: Don't overreact.
Hakkai, already digged himself a grave and is shovelling dirt back onto himself: I'm not!
Chapter 450: This bitch is so dumb
Baji: Oh Ryusei brought me flowers....who does he want me to deliver them too?
Chapter 451: You on the other hand, picked me
Mikey: I think my instincts about people are better than yours.
Mikey: Well, I picked you–
Mikey: You on the other hand, picked me.
Chapter 452: I knew that
Izana, to Ran: Any idiot would know that!
Shion: I knew that!
Izana, poiting to Shion: See?!
Shion: ...MOCHI, IZANA WILL BE SLEEPING ON THE COUCH TONIGHT!
Chapter 453: Like I'm your everything
*during a fight*
Mikey: Don’t look at me like that!
Takemichi: Like what?
Mikey: Like I’m your everything!
Takemichi: But- I don’t know how else to look at you!
Chapter 454: Is that a type of lion?
Baji: Is the pink panther a lion?
Kazutora: Say that again but slower.
Baji: I don’t get it.
Chifuyu: He’s a PANTHER.
Baji: Is that a type of lion?
Ryusei: No, it’s a fucking panther.
Baji: *googles panther* They aren’t pink?
Kazutora/Chifuyu/Ryusei: AND LIONS ARE?!
Chapter 455: Tell him to control the cat
*Chifuyu removes his sweaty T-shirt after exercising with his friends*
Chifuyu's mom: Chifuyu! What are those on your back?
Chifuyu's mom: It looks like someone has scratched you violently. Matsuno Chifuyu, how did those happen?
Chifuyu: Umm...mum its nothing.
Chifuyu's mom: Do not say it's nothing, young man. Those look awful. Tell me right now what happened?
Chifuyu: I- umm...Peke J. Peke J attacked me yesterday. It was my fault too. I stepped on his tail in the darkness.
Hina, grinning evilly: Are you sure, Chifuyu? It was Peke J or someone who is close to Peke J?
Chifuyu's mom: What does that mean?
Chifuyu: Nothing mum. Ignore her. I told you the cat attacked me.
Chifuyu's mom: I am gonna prepare something to help you with those. Tell Kazutora to control the cat *leaves*
Hina: Yeah Chifuyu. You should really tell Kazutora to control...the cat I mean.
Takemichi, laughing: Yeah Fuyu. Tell him to control the cat.
Chifuyu: Fuck you both.
Chapter 456: Have you ever tried to juggle?
Ran: Have you ever tried to juggle?
Kakuchou: Yes, I'm juggling my love for you and my embarrassment of you right now.
Chapter 457: Can our goal be not to die today?
Hakkai: Can our goal be not to die today?
Mitsuya, watching Yuzuha as she puts make up on a sleeping Taiju: Sure, but it might be too much to ask for some of us.
Chapter 458: It's gonna be really good
Izana: Shin-nii seriously, you're not gonna embarrass me when my friends come, right?
Shinichiro: No! God! I've been practiced my interpretative dance for weeks. It's gonna be really good.
*not far away from them*
Emma: Welp, Shin-nii is going to embarrass us all
Mikey: At least it is better than that time you, me, Haru, Baji and Sen arrived just in time to watch Shin-nii and Waka-nii suck each other's face
Emma: ...True, I'm still hoping grandpa will buy bleach so I can erase that image from my mind
Chapter 459: I made you into a hero
Every dark Takemichi fic be something like this
Kisaki/Mikey: I made you into a hero
Takemichi: You made me a psychopath
Kisaki/Mikey: THATS THE SAME THING.
Chapter 460: This is the land of our people
Taiju: This is the land of our people
Hakkai: This is not the land, this is a gay bar
Y/N: And did you say our?
Taiju: ...You didn't know I was bisexual?
Yuzuha, Hakkai and Y/N: No
Yuzuha: We thought you were homophobic
Taiju: I-I have been friends with benefits with Koko and Inui since I practically met them
Hakkai: ...That somehow explains so much but at the same time not
Y/N: So it is a family thing to be weak to pretty people?
Yuzuha: Seems like it
Taiju: Are we going to enjoy this night at bar or will we be just here talking?
Hakkai, Yuzuha and Y/n: Let's go and get drunk!
Chapter 461: This is...
Shinichiro: *points to Emma*
Shinichiro: This is my favourite Emma. I waited forever to have her here. Isn't she precious.
Shinichiro: *points to Izana and Mikey*
Shinichiro: These are Traumatized Dumbass and Traumatized Glutton Dumbass. I found them in alley behind a dumpster. They try to murder each other sometimes.
Chapter 462: What the FUCK?
Shion: Do you think when butterflies are in love, they feel humans in their stomach?
Yuzuha: Shion, honey, sweetheart, the love of my life, what the FUCK?
Chapter 463: I don't bite sweetheart
Random guy: *sits down next to Senju*
Senju: *scoots away*
Random guy: Hey now, I don’t bite sweetheart-
Sanzu: *slams hands down on table* I FUCKING DO-
Chapter 464: Senju no-
Senju: *holding her newborn child* They’re so beautiful.
Doctor: We’re gonna have to give them some shots.
Senju: Oh, hell yeah! Pour up, it’s their birthday.
Yamagishi: Senju no-
Chapter 465: You are 'it'
Takeomi: Do you ever think about your future, Keizou?
Benkei: I do.
Takeomi: Am I in it?
Benkei: You are 'it'.
Chapter 466: This one but a bit different
Emma, very tired: Can I sleep in your bed?
Baji, half asleep: Emma, this is a queen sized bed. That means it’s for *gestures vaguely to himself* the Queen.
Emma, already shoving Baji off the bed: Well then, god save the queen.
Chapter 467: Yeah, and it's making me sick
Sanzu, excitedly: Heeyy!!
Ran: Hey, someone's excited.
Rindou, deadpan: Yeah, and it's making me sick.
Chapter 468: No, that doesn’t sound like me at all
Shinichiro: Waka, remember when you said you weren’t going to interfere with my love life?
Wakasa: No, that doesn’t sound like me at all.
Chapter 469: Want a mate?
*South and Shion are drinking together when Ran, Rindou and Kakuchou arrive*
Ran: Hey, guys! What are you drinking
Rindou: Aww! You consider us your mates?
South, with a disgusted face: Eww, no
Kakuchou, confused: Than why did mate?
Shion: We are drinking a mate, it's a drink that people from our countries drink
Mochi, arrives looking tired: I need something to drink
Shion: Want a mate?
Mochi: Does it have caffeine?
South: It does
Mochi: Then give it to me
Chapter 470: Koko did scratch me once
Takemichi, talking about Bonten: Look, we know they can be aggravating, but you have to remember they’re not doing it on purpose. It’s just how they are, that includes their murderous side too. Oh, but they’re also loyal, and trustworthy and we have fun together.
Draken: You know, you’re describing cats.
Inui: Koko did scratch me once.
Chapter 471: My psychic powers work!
*Mikey staring intensely at a bag of popcorn*
Takuya: What are you doing?
Mikey: I’m attempting to cook this bag of popcorn with only my psychic powers.
Takuya: ....What? Magic isn't real.
*Mikey still staring at the bag, ignoring him*
Takuya: *sighs and puts the bag in the microwave*
Mikey: Ha! My psychic powers work!
Chapter 472: I had everything under control
Kakuchou: Wait, have you two never been to therapy?
Mikey, referring to him and Izana: No. Don’t need it.
Takemichi: Not even after Shinichiro died?
Mochi: What about when you lost Baji and Emma and also almost lost Izana?
Mikey: Oh, that was crazy. I forgot about that.
Draken, to Izana: What about when your mother abandoned you and later told you that you were never her kid.
Izana: Was that a big deal?
Mucho: You were paranoid and started hallucinating!
Izana: I had everything under control.
Chapter 473: A hater
Kisaki: Hey besties. I use they/ them pronouns. You might have heard of me in that one song that’s like “they see me rolling, they hating.”
Kisaki: That's right. It’s me.
Kisaki: A hater.
Chapter 474: Louder!
Mikey: Emma was right.
Mikey: I do not love this side of you.
Chapter 475: So you lied to me?
Senju: So you lied to me?
Mikey: That depends on how you define lying.
Senju: I define it as not telling the truth, how do you define it?
Mikey: ...Reclining your body ...in a horizontal position.
Chapter 476: Working in retail is like riding a bike
Takemichi: Working in retail is like riding a bike.
Takemichi: Except the bike is on fire.
Takemichi: And you're on fire.
Takemichi: And everything's on fire because you're in hell.
Mikey: ...You okay, Mitchy?
Takemichi, with tears on his eyes: No, I never was okay
Chapter 477: Would you rather I did crack?
Mikey: Why do crack when you could pull three all nighters in a row with your tears as hydration
Shinichiro: Mikey, I don't think that's a good coping mechanism either
Mikey: Would you rather I did crack?
Shinichiro: Well no-
Chapter 478: You're too young to have enemies
Mikey: I wish I could control wasps and bees to sting my enemies.
Takeomi: You’re too young to have enemies.
Mikey: You don’t even know.
Chapter 479: Mortal crime
Hanma: Lying to me in any other way than flattery is a mortal crime.
Chapter 480: Do we ever?
Takemichi, to Mikey and Sanzu: You two are not making my life easy right now.
Mikey: Do we ever?
Takemichi: Good point.
Chapter 481: Last words?
*Murderer kidnaps the Kawata and Haitani*
Murderer: Last words?
Ran: Am I handsome?
Angry: You can't be serious!
Smiley: You can only get dirty!!!
Ran: Priority, I either die beautiful or I don't.
Rindou: WHAT'S NOT TO DIE?
Chapter 482: Fuck this house!
Y/N, to their friends while they visit the famous Sano house which is told to be haunted: They say some guy cursed this house 150 years ago...
Mikey, 150 years ago: Fuck this house!
Chapter 483: Stupid or heroism?
Takemichi: It's only stupid if we die doing it. Otherwise, it's heroism.
Chapter 484: My little meow meow
Mikey: If I don't see my little meow meow in the next two minutes, I'm going to start breaking things. Possible objects. Possible fingers. Possible everyone in here
Takemichi, whispering to Hanma: ....Who is the little meow meow?
Hanma: How should I know? I just joined Kantou last week
Koko: I have been here since the beginning and I also do not know
Benkei: Is he talking about Haru or did he get a cat?
Wakasa: Takeomi used to call him kitty cat and the others started to give him similar nicknames
Sanzu: ......Mikey for the last fucking time, Mimi isn't a fucking cat! She is my baby leopard and not yours!
Mikey: I still want her here now!
Chifuyu; ....Did he say leopard?
Hakkai: I hope that we just heard wrong
Sanzu: She is at home!
Mikey: Then this fight is over, I want my little meow meow!
Sanzu, taking a deep breath: I'm so fucking done with you! *proceeds to leave being followed by Mikey*
Taiju: What the fuck did just happen?
Chapter 485: Okay, I have a plan
Baji: Okay, I have a plan.
Akkun: I hope it turns out better than your plan to cook rice in your stomach by eating raw rice and then drinking boiling water.
Chapter 486: Not dead yet
Mikey: It has come to my attention that answering ‘how are you’ with ‘not dead yet’ may be alarming to some people
Chapter 487: I'll bail you out of jail
Wakasa, to Benkei: Are you still angry with Shin?
Takeomi, to Benkei: Stab him.
Takeomi: I'll bail you out of jail.
Chapter 488: Best behaviour
Mochi: Be on your best behaviour.
Ran: No trouble from us!
*as soon as Mochi walks off*
Ran: Alright, you want to commit some arson?
Shion: Let's go.
Chapter 489: You're dead to me
Mikey: There's nothing that can dent our impenetrable bond.
Takemichi: I have a secret girlfriend.
Mikey: You're dead to me.
Chapter 490: Cool motive
Mikey: It was for love!
Naoto: Cool motive. Still murder.
Chapter 491: Depending on who else is in the room, I may agree or not with you
Mikey: I’m the sexiest bitch in this therapy waiting room.
Chapter 492: It was good to meet you, Mikey, but it seems you will depart from this world soon
Hina and Takemichi: *in a date*
*Mikey appears and Takemichi cuts their date short to go and talk to Mikey*
Takuya, who works at the restaurant they are: Do you need anything else?
Hina: Yes, more wine and a place to hide a dead body
Takuya: ....I will ask Makoto if his dead friends know a place to do that
Hina, smiling: Thanks, Takuya!
Chapter 493: Want to stay for a few more days?
Hanma: Want to stay for a few more days?
Naoto: I’m so sorry, but I’m afraid I have a meeting with my employer.
Hanma: Oh you know, they called and cancelled the meeting.
Naoto, internally: 'He canceled my fake meeting.'
Chapter 494: Yeah, sure
Hina, spills her drink: Ah shit, Naoto can you get me a napkin or something?
Naoto: Yeah, sure
Naoto: *goes to Draken and rips his shirt off then gives it to Hina* Here you go
Chapter 495: Hey, I have been wanting to take something off my chest...
Emma: Hey, I have been wanting to take something off my chest...
Senju: Go ahead, you know you can trust me.
Senju, internally: 'Please be your shirt, please be your shirt, please be...'
Chapter 496: This one but it is Mikey who falls down the stairs instead of Takemichi or Smiley
Mitsuya: You okay, Mikey?
Mikey: Yeah, why?
Mitsuya: I mean I just watched you slip down a couple stairs, lay on the floor for a minute and then start singing the baby shark song.
Chapter 497: Polyester
Or how the things could have ended faster in the manga when Kisaki was alive
Takemichi, to Hina: Wanna get married?
Kisaki: I wanna marry her, fuck off.
Takemichi: Wanna do polyester or whatever that shit is called?
Chapter 498: If HanTake lived together
Hanma: If you stack a lasagna on top of another lasagna, you still have one lasagna!
Takemichi: its 4am and I just had an anxiety attack, shut up.
Chapter 499: I agree with Hina
Hanma: My therapist is selling her house, so I’m gonna find the listing and make her living room my Doom background before our next session. You wanna get in my head? Okay, well, I’m in your home, babe. I’m in charge now!
Hina: Yeah… I see why you’re in therapy…
Chapter 500: I'm in Spain without spin
This is the story on how Kisaki ended up becoming deaf
Mikey, sighing: I'm in Spain without the spin.
Mikey, takes a deep breath: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Chapter 501: And have decided not to share the data
Mitsuya, to Toman 2nd Generation: I have calculated our odds of survival, and have decided not to share the data.
Chapter 502: Everywhere I turn
Takemichi: Everywhere I turn, BAM, there’s Mikey or something that reminds me of him! He is always there.
Naoto: Yeah, that’s because you can’t stop following him around wherever they go and you are completely in love with him.
Chapter 503: You tell me
Mitsuya: Wake up, we’re gonna be late to class
Emma: Oh my god, Mitsuya shut up it’s 8 in the fucking morning
Emma: What are you doing in our house?
Mitsuya: I uhm… I'm not here, you’re dreaming, it’s all an illusion
Mikey: Why would Emma be dreaming about a shirtless Mitsuya Takashi, laying next to me in bed and trying to wake me up?
Mitsuya: I don’t know what kind of weird things Emma dreams about
Emma: Excuse me, what the fuck is going on?
Mikey: You tell me…why are you dreaming about my boyfriend being shirtless?
Chapter 504: You are grounded for a week
Ryoko, to Baji: You are grounded for a week
Baji: Hm, I thought it'd be longer, mom
Ryoko: And for the whole week, you are not allowed to interact with any type or form of cats
*one hour later*
Ryoko: *sulking in the corner*
Baji: *playing with the tiger Sanzu got him and five cats Sakurako got him*
Sakurako, Sanzu and the whole Sano and Akashi families: *making sure Baji isn't crying anymore*
Mansuke, sitting near Ryoko while sipping his tea and reading his book: That was a really dumb thing to do
Chapter 505: There's actually nothing straight about it, but yeah
Takuya: So let me get this straight. You've been in love with Koko all this time?
Inui: There's actually nothing straight about it, but yeah.
Chapter 506: Koko and the Inuis if someone hurt one of them
Koko: "I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy" I would.
Inui: "I'm not gonna sink to their level" I will, coward.
Akane: "I'm the bigger person" I'm five feet tall. Give me the sword, bitch.
Chapter 507: I might start an off grid community
Mikey: I might start an off grid community
Koko: Don’t let them, it’s a cult
Sanzu: Would there be rentable resources or??
Mikey: Yes! Solar, plenty of farm land, and we could still make money by selling to the outside world.
Benkei: That’s very cult-y
Mikey: No, because there is no religion
Wakasa: So a commune?
Mikey: You are missing the point-
Chapter 508: ...Am I dating a houseplant?
Baji: We should go to the park soon. I feel like I haven't been getting enough sunlight.
Baji: Or water.
Ryusei: ...Am I dating a houseplant?
Chapter 509: Because I feel guilty
Takemichi: Why would you do that?
Takuya: Because I feel guilty.
Kakuchou: Guilt is a trick emotion. It’s put there by your parents to stop you from doing things that feel good.
Chapter 510: Let's do shots!!!
Senju: Let’s do shots!!
Senju: *fills a shot glass with chocolate syrup*
Chapter 511: Why are you disappointed, Takemichi?
Angry: So, do you like to stay on top or bottom?
*Smiley smiling maliciously at Takemichi and Angry*
Angry: You don't know? It's okay, we'll find out later tonight.
Takemichi, obviously feeling disturbed:
*later that night*
Angry: Have you decided?
Takemichi, disappointed: Below is fine.
Angry: Okay! *climbing the new top bunk*
Chapter 512: Uh huh, good save
Mikey: This reminds me of a dream I had were I was kissing y-
Mikey: -a girl
Hina, unimpressed: Uh huh, good save
Chapter 513: Well...
Hina: I love you… I’d kill for you, you know that? I’d kill for y-
Takemichi: You just want an excuse to kill Mikey, don’t you?
Chapter 514: Twitter argument
Taiju: One time I got in a Twitter argument I didn't really have any investment in so I drew an MS Paint doodle of myself as Christ on the cross and for some reason that didn't de-escalate the argument.
Chapter 515: Beyond
Takemichi: The horrors of Bonten's leader, Sano 'Mikey' Manjirou, are way beyond my comprehension...
Also Takemichi: ...but they are not beyond my lust.
Chapter 516: I'm bringing you home
Wakasa, texting Benkei while drunk: Keizou, I’m being kidnapped, I don’t know where I am or they’re taking me please send help.
Benkei, checking his phone and turning around in the driver’s seat: It’s me, pretty boy. I’m bringing you home.
Chapter 517: Don't talk to me
Taiju: Don't talk to me.
Angry: What if I need to say something?
Taiju: Fine, but no other exceptions.
Chapter 518: You're still pretty irresponsible
Mikey: I used to be awesome! Now after I started dating Hina and Takemichi, I'm just some boring, responsible guy.
Draken: You're still pretty irresponsible.
Mikey: Aww, Kenchin. You're just saying that 'cause you're my best friend.
Draken: No, I'm not. Yesterday, you took the batteries out of your smoke detector to put in your dancing duck toy.
Mikey: You noticed!
Draken: Yeah. In a bad way.
Chapter 519: Giving up
Hina: Ever consider just...giving up?
Takemichi: On what?
Hina: This. Life. Everything!
Takemichi: No, because that would mean giving up on you.
Chapter 520: I'm not giving this back
Senju: Gosh, I’m cold.
South: Here, take my hoodie, I’m not even that cold.
Senju: Thanks, I’ll give it back to you tomorrow.
*later in the Akashi house*
Senju, aggressively inhaling South’s scent while curled up inside the hoodie: I’m not giving this back.
Chapter 521: I accept card!
Senju: Take-nii, lend me money?
Takeomi, taking the wallet: Sure, how much?
Sanzu: $ 100, I'm charging $ 1 for every curse word Senju says.
Takeomi: Did she say 100 bad words? Senju!
Senju: It was Baji's fault.
Takeomi: Take $ 500, I'm buying Senju a swear-free pass for this week.
*30 minutes later *
Takeomi: What is it?
Senju: I used my pass of the week.
Takeomi, shocked: It hasn't even been 30 minutes!
Sanzu: I accept card!
Chapter 522: I married for love
Kisaki: I married for love, but the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find your glasses cannot be ignored.
Chapter 523: Amazing
Mochi: *takes a bite* Amazing.
Akane: My curry?
Mochi: No, my patience for your cooking skills.
Chapter 524: And Takemichi had to watch it
Naoto: But to set up the context-
Hina: I survived and then died again.
Naoto: And Takemichi had to watch it
Chapter 525: Respect his privacy?
Mikey: Something wasn’t right with Kenchin today…
Pah-chin: You’re right, we have to do something!
Mitsuya: Respect his privacy? Not interfere?
Baji: Nope! Spy on him until we find out what’s going on!
Chapter 526: I'll do it
Emma: How do I top Draken? I don't know how I'll see him that way, I haven't done it with him before.
Izana: I'll do it. Since you are so fucking complicated.
Chapter 527: So you won't die but if you are suicidal then have fun
Choji: Why do I have to have a licence to fly a plane? What are the cops going to do? Pull me over? I'm in da air, bitch!
Chapter 528: Simple mathematics
Koko: This is simple mathematics, how do you not know it?
Baji: Actually, simple mathematics is "1 + 1 = 2". Anything beyond that is already complex.
Koko: But there's not even an "i" in it!
Chapter 529: IDK
Yuzuha: IDK can also mean “I DO know” so watch out
Chapter 530: I'm not a killer
Hanma: I’m not a killer. People just have a habit of dying within proximity of me
Chapter 531: I'm in the closet
Shinichiro: Who else is hiding in the laundry room trying to listen to Takeomi and Mikey's convo?
Emma: Me. I'm in the laundry basket.
Senju: I'm in the washing machine.
Baji: I'm in the closet.
Emma: We accept you Keisuke.
Chapter 532: Nobody's home
Mikey: Wanna come over? Nobody's home.
Baji: I'll be there in a few minutes!
Baji: I'm here, where are you?
Mikey: I told you nobody is home.
Chapter 533: You should see me without them
Ran: Whatcha looking at?
Shion: Sorry, your legs look great in those pants.
Ran: You should see me without them.
Shion: Why would you take off your legs?
Chapter 534: Me with the fics I love be like:
Naoto: I come back from a book and it's like how the hell are you people just going on like this? Didn't you read the book with me? How is the real world so disconnected from the whole book world I just experienced?
Chapter 535: Big deal
Baji: Oh come on, Choji, you're way smarter than me.
Choji: Big deal.
Chapter 536: ...
Sanzu: I’ll never be good enough for you, will I? No matter how hard I try.
Chapter 537: Still think Naoto's not in love with you?
Takemichi: *bewildered* His username is "NaoTake"?
Kisaki: *keeps typing*
Takemichi: *flustered* His password is also "Takemichi"?
Kisaki: Still think Naoto's not in love with you?
Chapter 538: Mikey
Takemichi, watching Sanzu and Draken fight for Mikey's hand: Are you sure they should be fighting? What if they get hurt?
Mikey, not bothered by the chaos: It’s fine, they’re too evenly matched to hurt each other
Takemichi: Then... who’s the strongest out of you three?
Chapter 539: So my puppy got a puppy
Mikey: So my puppy got a puppy
Chapter 540: I don't take kindly to insults
South: I don't take kindly to insults.
Senju: Funny, with a face like yours, I'd have thought you'd be used to it by now.
Chapter 541: Nobody can bring me down
Takemichi: I'm a confident adult. Nobody can bring me down.
*two minutes later*
Takemichi, crying: Chifuyu, Hina called me a bitch boy!
Chifuyu, sighing: Shouldn't you already know not to annoy her when she is on her period
Takemichi: B-but I just wanted to surprise her with the cake me and Tora did!
Chifuyu: 'God, give me patience' *pats Takemichi's head* I'm sure she will apologise soon and you can give her the cake
Chapter 542: On your knees, Ran
Ran: I don't get on my knees to anyone.
Kakuchou: Nobody at all?
Ran: Of course not, look at my Gucci outfit, look at that super expensive pants, I'm not an idiot, I don't get on my knees to anyone.
Izana: On your knees, Ran.
*Ran quickly gets to his knees *
Chapter 543: I'm an adult
*Senju and Yamagishi having a dramatic moment that Takeomi doesn't really get*
Yamagishi: What about us? What about everything we've been through?
Senju: But what about trust?
Yamagishi: You know I never wanted to hurt you.
Senju: What about me???
Yamagishi: What am I supposed to do?
Takeomi: What the fuck are they doing?
Takemichi: You haven't seen the classic american movie High School Musical 2?
Takeomi: I'm an adult
Takemichi, dramatically stands: I GOT TO MOVE ON AND BE WHO I AM
Chapter 544: *collective sigh*
Senju: If Hina choked me with her thighs, I'd thank her and beg her to do it again.
Baji: I don't know if that's good or not but I support you, Sen!
Emma: Instead of saying weird stuff why don't you ask her out?
Sanzu: Then you can ask her to leg choke you on your first date.
Mikey: Yeah, that would be a great idea! I even can finally take my time getting Michi if Hina isn't always there to keep hi away from me!
Senju: I DON'T LIKE HER LIKE THAT!
Baji, Emma, Sanzu and Mikey: *collective sigh*
Chapter 545: You're back!
Hina, seeing Takemichi return from Kantou vs Toman fight while holding hands with Mikey: You're back! *looks at Mikey* I didn't miss you at all!
Chapter 546: A pubescent Mr. Monopoly?
Kisaki: Why are you taking all your stuff down?
Ran: This girl is coming over for the first time, and I don't want her to get the wrong impression. If she sees all this, she might think I'm-
Kisaki: A materialistic snob? A preppy idiot? A pubescent Mr. Monopoly? I'm landing shots left and right here, stand up for yourself.
Chapter 547: Gun, paper or scissors?
Kisaki: Gun, paper or scissors?
Chifuyu: It’s supposed to be rock, paper or scissors.
Kisaki: I play with gun.
Takemichi: No matter what you choose the gun will still win.
Hanma: That depends on how well you know your paper and scissors.
Chapter 548: Thank god...
Hanma: They don’t make them like me no more, I’m the last of my kind
Chifuyu: Thank god...
Chapter 549: Cringe isn't an insult
Hanma: Cringe isn't an insult. If you find me cringe, that means I have power over you. I'm having a fucking blast while you're seething with vitriol at my very existence. Who's really winning here?
Chapter 550: Kantou Manji Gang reactions to being called straight
Wakasa/Mikey: The fuck, no I'm not.
Koko/Kakuchou: Excuse the hell out of you?
Ran/Rindou: Ding dong, you are wrong!
Benkei/Mochi: Who told you that? And why did they lie?
Hanma: *punches the person*
Chapter 551: He was really hot
Chome, after getting beat up by Mikey: You should have seen the other guy...he was really hot
Chapter 552: Reasons I should have your hoodie
South: Why should I give you my hoodie?
Wakasa: You the reasons for that?
Wakasa: So here are the reasons why I should have your hoodie- I want it, I'd look good on it, you can fuck me while I use it, I'd look smol and cute, nudes and cause I want it
South: ....*gives him his hoodie*
Wakasa, smiling: Thanks you
Chapter 553: Arch nemesis
Mikey, looking at Draken & Hanma and Takemichi & Kisaki: Gay as hell to have an arch nemesis. What is he arching? His back?
Chapter 554: Make it study
Yamagishi, looking blankly to his books: Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study. I can't fail this test, Sen promised to take me on a date if I had a good note on it.
Chapter 555: Fight! I got it!
Sanzu: Let’s avoid any confrontations
Baji: What does that mean?
Senju: It means “fight”, Kei
Mikey: Fight! Got it!
Chapter 556: You have the three things that people want
Ran: You have the three things that people want. You're hot and you're smart.
Kakuchou: That’s two things, Ran.
Ran: No, it’s three. I count hot twice. I mean... *gestures to Kakuchou* Come on.
Chapter 557: ...Yes?
Y/N,: Would you take a bullet for me, Ryu-nii?
*Kazutora angrily bursts into the room*
Y/N: *running away* Great, thanks!
Chapter 558: Why is it that I always lose things as soon as I need them?
Angry: Why is it that I always lose things as soon as I need them?
Chifuyu: Actually, it's not that you lose things when you need them. You lose them a while before. It's just that you LOOK for things when you need them.
Angry: Okay yeah thanks Chifuyu, that's great but WHERE'S THE F*CKING FIRST AID KIT?
Chapter 559: What am I doing?
Shinichiro: What am I doing?
Shinichiro: No, I mean-Oh.
Chapter 560: Can I join you?
Takeomi/Sanzu/Senju: Putting more and more weighted blankets on me until I am finally pressed like a panini.
Chapter 561: They're pretty stubborn
Rindou, kissing Shion: Hey sweetheart.
Shion, kissing back: What’s up, babe.
Hanma: Did we miss something?
Ran: Oh, no no, they’re just playing a game, no biggie.
Mucho: What game?
Kisaki: It’s called gay chicken. The point of the game is for two guys to pretend to be gay together for as long as possible, and whoever chickens out first loses.
Kakuchou: And how long has it been since they are, uh… pretending?
Ran/Kisaki: Three weeks.
Izana, leaning over: They’re pretty stubborn.
Chapter 562: I'm the girl, you idiot!
Shion: If we can only have one girl, I’m glad it’s you Haru.
Sanzu: Thanks, but I’m a guy.
Senju: I’m the girl, you idiot!
Chapter 563: I once loved her but...I just can't love someone who says this, I'm sorry
Y/N: You know why I called you here?
Yuzuha: Because I said dark chocolate taste like mud?
Y/N: YOU WHAT-?!
Chapter 564: It's like the blind leading the blind
Mikey, Izana, Kisaki, South and Hanma: We don't need therapy. We have you.
Takemichi: I'm just as messed up as you guys. It's like the blind leading the blind.
Chapter 565: Are you worried?
Takeomi: Are you worried?
Hina: About what? But yeah.
Chapter 566: Can I be perfectly honest with you?
Takeomi: Can I be perfectly honest with you?
Akane: Of course!
Takeomi: *curls up into the fetal position and screams like a velociraptor*
Chapter 567: Now you try
This is how South's lessons on being kind are going
Kakuchou: You just have to spread positive vibes to be nice, watch.
Kakuchou: Hey Shion, have a nice day!
Shion: Thanks, Kakuchou!
Kakuchou: Now you try.
South: Rindou, enjoy your next 24 hours.
Chapter 568: Goodbye, you little shit
Izana, at the store: Excuse me, I lost my brother, can I make an announcement?
Employee: Of course.
Izana, into the mic: Goodbye, you little shit.
Chapter 569: Same thing, really
Takemichi: Are you saying I’m a liar?
Kazutora: I’m saying you’re an optimist. Same thing, really
Chapter 570: I have a hard time trusting people
Kazutora: I have a hard time trusting people. I just never wanna jump unless I'm sure somebody's going to catch me.
Chifuyu: Oh,Takemichi will catch you. And if he misses for any reason, he'll sit by your bedside and nurse you back to health, and feel guilty for the rest of his life.
Chapter 571: What happened to Rindou?
*on the phone*
Ran: Mochi, I'm onto something big. I'm gonna need you and Rindou tomorrow.
Ran: What's he doing in Detroit?
Ran: Well, send him plane fare and a new pair of pants.
Chapter 572: Marry someone like him
Takemichi: I don't understand people who justify betrayal by being drunk
Takemichi: When I drink I keep asking Hina to marry again
Chapter 573: Takeomi's will
Benkei: Takeomi we need to talk about your last will
Takeomi: What about it?
Shinichiro: Well, first, the fact that you wrote a will is worrying-
Wakasa: And the only thing you wrote was ‘bury me with seven extra bones to fuck with the archaeologists lmao’
Takeomi: So? Senju and Haruchiyo wrote the same thing on their will
Chapter 574: Ideal boyfriend
Y/N: Describe your ideal boyfriend
Takeomi: Someone tall with dark hair and deep, soulful eyes. A leader who isn’t afraid to speak his mind. Soft, but mostly with the people he loves. And preferably good with kids.
Y/N: Describe your ideal boyfr—
Chapter 575: This one but the girl version
Senju, in Yuzuha’s lap: Why does everyone think I'm gay?
Yuzuha, running her hands through Senju’s hair: Maybe its the sweatshirts your wear?
Mitsuya, nodding: Yeah it's definitely those sweatshirts you wear and not how you two act when withthin proximity of each other
Chapter 576: Angles
Baji: If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one.
Koko, running on two hours of sleep, sipping on coffee: That’s the worst one.
Baji:: I’m sorry?
Koko: You should be. You couldn’t even make me a right triangle? Or obtuse? Hell, I would have settled for a reflex angle!
Baji:: I-I had no idea you were so passionate about angles…
Chapter 577: Mute button
Kisaki: You really push all my buttons.
Takemichi: Sorry, I’m still looking for mute.
Chapter 578: ...Bitch
Rindou: So, if you're hotter than me, am I cooler than you?
Chapter 579: You probably do
Takemichi: It's so hard to hate you.
Mikey: Do I need to try harder?
Chapter 580: Mikey....
Kakuchou: Seriously you have to stop joking about your traumas!
Mikey: Haha, and what are you going to do? Tell my mom?!
Chapter 581: Sanzu before dying be like
Sanzu, looking at Senju and Takeomi: When I die do not go to my grave and weep, you are so annoying
Chapter 582: Female Hysteria
Yuzuha, calling the CEO of the company she and Hakkai work for: Sorry boss, I can't go to work today. I've come down with Female Hysteria
Chapter 583: This is a private dance
Mitsuya: If I want to listen to the same song sixty-four times in a row, that's my own business. It's between me and God. This is a private dance
Chapter 584: Them
Hanma, looking at Kisaki: He is so fucking evil
Hanma: God, I want him
Chapter 585: Maybe it's time for me to stop trying
Takeomi: All my past relationships with girlfriends have ended in tragedy. Maybe it's time for me to stop trying.
Sanzu: Or maybe it is time to try something different?
Senju/Sanzu: Like a boyfriend?
Senju: Maybe someone named Arashi 'Benkei' Keizou?
Takeomi: ...Have you two been reading fanfictions again?
Senju: Hey, don't pretend like I didn't notice you crying while reading that long, slow burn one!
Chapter 586: ...right?
Takuya, to Takemichi: Introduce me to a hot gang member. Because, statistically speaking, someone on your gang has got to be on my team...right?
Chapter 587: Mama didn't raise a quitter
Baji: Mama didn't raise a quitter but she did raise a homosexual and an idiot homosexual
Kazutora: With me being the homosexual and Baji being the idiot homosexual one
Chapter 588: Boyfriend-in-law
Yamagishi, to Mikey: Chill out dude, Senju is dating both of us. You are my boyfriend-in-law
Chapter 589: Stress express
Angry: Did- did you just refer to your train of thought as the stress express?
Sanzu: Should I not have?
Takemichi: I mean, mentally stable people don't do that.
Sanzu: Okay, and who told you I was mentally stable?
Chapter 590: Big Ben
Emma, studying: But not everyone knows that it’s actually the bell that’s called Big Ben, not the clock-
Karen, not interested: Uh huh
Emma: Yeah the clock is actually called Tickety Ted the Time Telling Bitch-
Chapter 591: That too
Shinichiro: You are not a MILF, you are eighteen and nonbinary and childless.
Wakasa: Don't forget mentally ill.
Shinichiro: That too.
Takeomi: What the fuck—
Chapter 592: I had a nightmare last night
Mikey: I had a nightmare last night.
Mikey: Emma told me she won’t cook my midnight snacks for a whole week.
Baji: ...That wasn’t a nightmare. She did say that.
Baji: You fainted right after Emma told you that.
Chapter 593: Don't quote me on this
Sanzu: *trying to murder Takemichi*
Kakuchou: Don't quote me on this, but I believe murder is illegal.
Chapter 594: I'm a lot like a kit-kat...
Takemichi: I'm a lot like a kit-kat...
Kakuchou: Because you're sweet on the outside but still pretty tough on the inside?
Takemichi, crying: I was gonna say "because I really need a break" but that works too...
Chapter 595: What pain?
Mikey, snuggling under a blanket: A nap a day takes the pain away!
Draken: What pain?
Mikey: The pain of knowing the bane of existence is existing, the heavy weight of living from day to day in the precipice of an existential crisis, and the possibility that we're living through the end of the world as we know it
Draken: Please just lie and say you're sick next time
Chapter 596: Who is she talking about?
Yuzuha: Sorry, I looked at them and I forgot how to swallow.
Chapter 597: Hairy legs
Kid Shinichiro: Why are your legs so hairy?
Sano Makoto: That's just the way they are.
Kid Shinichiro: Are you a werewolf?
Chapter 598: Little do they know I'm onto them
Draken, after enduring the last two days with Hanma: Sometimes I feel like God's just waiting for me to snap.
Draken: Little do they know I'm onto them.
Chapter 599: Sweatpants
Inui: *proposes to Koko*
Koko:…IM IN SWEATPANTS.
Akane: *recording* You’re fine!
Koko: WHY WOULD DO THIS WHEN I'M IN SWEATPANTS?!
Chapter 600: You killed me!
Random Person: How can you not remember me? You killed me!
Rindou: I've killed a lot of people.
Chapter 601: ...Probably not-
Eye doctor: Your results aren't good
Kid Kisaki: Can I see them?
Eye doctor: ...Probably not-
Chapter 602: Abandonment issues
Izana: Abandonment issues? Fuck yeah, I'm abandoning these issues. Bye
Chapter 603: Circus
Takemichi, to Hanma: You aren't the clown, you are the entire circus.
Chapter 604: We're playing Monopoly!!
Takuya: Ran, can you pay for this for me?
Ran: Oh, sure.
Akkun: Hold on, he can't just pay for you!
Ran, offended: Why not? I'm Takuya's husband, I get him anything he likes.
Rindou: We're playing Monopoly!!
Chapter 605: ...What the hell are you doing?
Izana: *squirting ketchup on the bathroom counter*
Emma: ...What the hell are you doing?
Izana: I asked Mikey to keep his toothbrush in his own cup instead of mine. The next morning, he drew a muscled torso on a sticky-note, stuck it to his brush, and laid my toothbrush out flat, so it looked like his toothbrush had knocked mine out...That was three weeks ago.
Emma: So...for three weeks,you two have just been, what? Arranging your brushes in more and more elaborate scenarios to try and, like, I don't know, one-up each other or something?
Izana: *placing Mikey's toothbrush facedown in a puddle of ketchup, next to a popsicle stick whittled to look like a knife* Don't ask questions you already know the answers to.
Chapter 606: They are just tired of always seeing this
Toman, when they notice that Mikey is simping very obviously for Takemichi once again but the other boy doesn't notice it: Not this train wreck again
Chapter 607: Good to know
Kisaki: It’s good to see you.
Baji: I’d return the sentiment except I hate you.
Chapter 608: How dare you!?
Koko, after a long night working: I am offended. I am angry. I am very tired. So I’m gonna take a nap, but when I wake up, oh, you are in for it.
*four hours later*
Koko: How dare you?!?
Chapter 609: Nothing, he is just very stupid
Ryusei: Please pray for Baji.
Kazutora: What happened to them?
Chifuyu: Nothing, he is just very stupid.
Baji: Hey! *walks into a glass wall*
Chapter 610: Marshmallow with legs
Senju: I’m bad. I’m so bad.
Benkei: No, you’re not. You’re a marshmallow with legs.
Chapter 611: Police
Senju: If the police is here to serve then why are their outfits so ugly?
Chapter 612: This book is so fucking sad
Peh-yan: Hakkai, are you crying?
Hakkai, sobbing: This book is so fucking sad
Peh-yan: Honey, it’s a interior design book
Hakkai, sobbing harder: I know, the designs fucking suck
Chapter 613: Ominous statements
South: I love unnecessarily ominous statements, and I will still love them when there's nobody alive to make them.
Chapter 614: You came out to them
Ran: I'm gayer
Mucho: A little on the nose to do it during pride month, no?
Izana: In that outfit?
Koko: You still owe me 45$
Rindou: Are you queerbaiting me?
Mochi: Welcome to the family
Kakuchou: Thanks for coming out to me, I will always be here if you need anything
Chapter 615: Yeah, no problem, mom
If Sakurako hadn't died, this would be canon<3
Sakurako: Izana, take out the garbage on your way out
Izana: Yeah, no problem, mom.
Sakurako: Did you just called me…?
Izana: WHAT? NO. BYE
Chapter 616: You're my best friend
Rindou, to Kakuchou: You’re my best friend. You know me better than anyone. You see what a horrible person I am. That’s why I have to do daring entrances. To distract the rest of world from seeing it.
Chapter 617: It basically is like this
Smiley: Quiet, laidback people, why do you go for loud, fiery people?
Takeomi: Someone’s gotta tell the waiter I ordered mashed potatoes, and it’s not gonna be me.
Chapter 618: ...Benkei?
Akane: Oh he do be lookin' like a milf tho ngl
Chapter 619: Toman 2nd Gen as Little Women Quotes
Mitsuya: I'd rather take coffee than compliments right now.
Chifuyu: I want to be Great or Nothing.
Senju: And I'm so sick of people saying that love is all a woman is fit for.
Angry: I am angry nearly every day of my life, Naho-nii, but I've learned not to show it. And I still hope not to feel it.
Takemichi: Watch and pray, dear, never get tired of trying, and never think it is impossible to conquer your fault.
Hakkai: Don't try to make me grow up before my time...
Inui: Love casts out fear, and gratitude can conquer pride.
Chapter 620: Coffee?
Makoto: Black and strong like Luke Cage!
Wakasa: I'm too tired to even be disturbed by that.
Chapter 621: Mochi's children
Kakuchou: The child who turned into a second parent
Shion: The child being summoned by all of their siblings’ names before theirs
Koko: The rich and gay child
Ran: The prankster child that can sleep for a full week and act like he just slept for eight hours
Rindou: The child that somehow is still alive despite challenging death almost daily
Mucho: The child no one worries about because they know how to take care of themselves....most of the time
Hanma: The child that is the reason they drink
Sanzu: The bipolar child that changes families whenever they want
Kisaki: The manipulative but also normal child
Izana: The child that seriously need therapy but denies it and goes for violence for a way to cope
Chapter 622: I just have an enemy
Emma when she found out Naoto or Hanma also liked Draken
Mansuke: Emma, you have to work on controlling your emotions, you’ve been in 5 different fights just this week! Your brother is the one that is supposed to be getting into fights not you!
Emma: With the same guy though!
Emma: I don’t have an anger problem
Emma: I just have an enemy/rival
Chapter 623: No Face
*on the phone*
Mikey: Hey, I can still pick whatever suit I like for the wedding, right?
Senju: As long as it's black, why?
Mikey, wearing a No Face from Spirited Away costume: No reason.
Chapter 624: Lick my....
Izana, writing in a letter: "I'm going to kick.. your... ass."
Izanas: THERE. Now send it.
Shion: Dude, your handwriting's terrible, are you sure you want to-
Izana: JUST DO IT!
Emma: So what does it say?
Mikey, reading the letter: He says he’s going to "lick my...."
Chapter 625: He's scared
*Senju losing Yamagishi in literally anywhere*
Announcer: “Attention. If anyone has lost their companion gangs lover otaku, please pick them up from lost and found.”
Announcer: “Please bring ice cream. He’s scared. Thank you.”
Chapter 626: Cavewoman
A neighbour, about Yuzuha: Your daughter's gotten really pretty.
Y/N: I know, right?
Neighbour: She probably has a lot of boyfriends.
Y/N: I mean, she's into girls.
Neighbour, wrinkling her nose: Ah. Ugh. I wouldn't have guessed.
Y/N: Yuzuha! Do lesbian things so this cavewoman can see you! Would you also like me to make sure my two sons act bi and gay enough too?
Chapter 627: Allergic to salad
Chifuyu: Eww, why are you having salad?
Hina: Are you five years old?
Takemichi: A friend of mine is allergic to salad, when he eats salad he literally throws up.
Kazutora: Ok. But we are not your friend who is allergic to salad though.
Chapter 628: Not if I eat the Mona Lisa
Draken: One day, someone will think about you for the last time in eternity. You will be forgotten by the rest of the universe.
Mikey: Not if I eat the Mona Lisa.
Chapter 629: I'm the kindest and most loving person ever!
South: How dare them! I'm the kindest and most loving person ever!
Ran: It took you eight months to find a good doormat because you said that people who came to your house are not, in fact, welcome.
Chapter 630: Why would I want to be anything else?
Chifuyu: Alright, what would you rather be: a lion or a panda?
Hina: I’m me. Why would I want to be anything else?
Kazutora: I’m not sure you realize how psychologically healthy that actually is.
Chapter 631: Two friends
Koko: Shakespeare wasn't lying when he said that tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, creeps in this petty pace from day to day
Inui: Neither was Smashmouth when he said that the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Chapter 632: Nah, I think it is just you
Fantasy AU with werewolf Hanma
Hina: Since electronics contain silver, you could theoretically beat a werewolf to death with a nokia.
Hanma: Anybody else here feeling uncomfortable? Just me?
Chapter 633: How are you today?
Akane: How are you today?
Koko: Please don’t make me think about my life.
Chapter 634: Pop goes the weasel
Baji: If murdered, I want a closed-casket funeral. However, towards the end of the service, please have the organist play "Pop Goes the Weasel" over and over until everyone in attendance is staring at my coffin with mute, horrified anticipation.
Chapter 635: Toman 1st division when Baji was the captain
Kazutora, Ryusei and Chifuyu: *fall in love with the feral idiot who sets fires when hungry*
Chapter 636: Permission to be gay
Ran and Koko: *out on Bonten business*
Ran: *sees a cute guy, and turns to Koko*
Ran: Permission to be gay, Koko?
Koko: *annoyed sigh*
Koko: Permission granted.
Chapter 637: They can also eat whatever is in the slow cooker too
Chome: If you die while making food in a slow cooker, whoever finds your body will have a nice, warm meal waiting for them.
Choji: They can also eat whatever is in the slow cooker too.
Chapter 638: Games of chance
Chonbo: I really shouldn’t be here. I have a problem with games of chance. I once played Candyland with Hanma and ended up throwing a cup of deer blood in his face.
Chapter 639: TakeKisaHina be like
Takemichi, a sweetheart: Hey Kisaki!
Kisaki, an asshole:
Takemichi: Did you just ignore me?
Kisaki: No, I simply chose to not acknowledge you verbally.
Hina, an observer: …So you’re ignoring him
Chapter 640: It's over, we won
Takemichi: It’s over, we won.
*behind Takemichi, Mikey slowly stands back up*
Hakkai: *starts to point*
Takemichi: No. We won. I'm not turning around and looking at it. We won.
Chapter 641: True equality
South, to Mochi and Kakuchou: Sweet boys precious angels babies
South, to Ran, Rindou and Shion: YOU FUCKING DONKEYS
Chapter 642: 2005
Chifuyu: Were you ever nice?
Mikey: 2005. Worst year of my life.
Chapter 643: He could have at least take a shower before coming home
Rindou, covered in blood: Angry, my angel! I'm home!
Chapter 644: Biloser
Ran, looking at Shion: When he is bisexual and a complete fucking loser...
Chapter 645: This is why she is my favorite Sano
Emma: Isn't enough to be cute and have great tits? I have to be a functional member of society and the smart one of my family too?
Chapter 646: Mine does that when I'm awake
Yuzuha: While we sleep our brain makes up stories and then gets scared of them.
Hakkai: Mine does that when I'm awake.
Chapter 647: ...Not as straight as I thought
Emma: Hi, I'm Sano Emma and you?
Hina: ...Not as straight as I had thought
Chapter 648: Mocktopus
Kisaki: So, an octopus can change colour to mimic its surroundings. When octopus do this it's called-
Choji: An octo-lie
Chapter 649: I don't wanna pretend
Hanma: Alright, so you and I are married.
Draken: We are not married.
Hanma: Relax, it's just pretend.
Draken: I don't wanna pretend.
Hanma, grinning: Scared you'll like it?
Draken: Okay, if we're married, I want a divorce.
Takemichi, whispering to Chifuyu: ...Are the two of them like this all the time?
Chapter 650: Tsudezana is back
Shion, blabbering on:
Izana, Whispering to himself: Will you marry me?
Izana, trying to cover himself up: Will you shut up and let me be?!
Chapter 651: What the hell, Shin?!
To celebrate the new manga chapter I will try to create today's incorrect quotes instead of using ones I find in tumblr.
Also, this one and some others may contain spoilers of the new manga chapter<3
Wakasa: Homeless man!
Shinichiro, who was observing this with Benkei: This makes me question how the two of them got married in the future if they fight so much now
Wakasa, the only one that knew about Shinichiro's ability: What the hell, Shin?!
Chapter 652: How did it arrive here?!
Chifuyu: ...Why did you need me to bring Aracne, Baji-san?
Baji: Oh, Mikey annoyed Haru and Aracne will help Haru get back at Mikey
Takemichi: Eh? How?
Sanzu, going to where they are: Give it to me and you see it
Chifuyu: ...As long as Aracne comes back alive....
Sanzu: Don't worry, this cutie will come back safe and sound
*ten minutes later*
Draken: What the fuck?
Mikey, crying: THERE IS A SPIDER IN MY JACKET!
Mitsuya: ...You are scared of this litt- *approaches the jacket to see a black widow* Ah! It's a black widow! How did it arrive here?!
Chifuyu/Takemichi: ...Is this what you were talking about?
Baji: Yep, Mikey he terrified of spiders even the little ones
Chapter 653: Akashi Triplets
Based on Baji's Mysterious Brother
Shinichiro: ...So Keisuke is your brother?
Takeomi: Yes, it was a bit surprising but it explains why we look similar and how fast me, Senju and Haruchiyo become close to him
Wakasa: ...Who would have thought about that
Benkei: Is that why they are so chaotic when together?
Takeomi: ...Uh, that makes sense
Benkei: And they are the same age...they practically are triplets
Shinchiro: Oh! That's right!
Wakasa: The Akashi triplets? That has a nice sound to it
Chapter 654: Behind every happy little sibling, there is a proud older sibling
Takemichi: Ah, sorry! I thought I saw someone behind Mikey-kun
Hina, confused: But there is no one behind him?
Takemichi: ...I know. Come on, we shouldn't make our husband wait
Hina: As if you weren't the one who took years finding a sock
*Hina giggles and both run to where Mikey is waiting for them for their weekly date*
Chapter 655: I'm so tired
Sanzu, looking to the ground: I'm so tried, Manjirou
Mikey, confused: What do you mean?
Sanzu: How much of me do I need to give to you, how many times do I need to break my own heart for you and how many more people do I need to let go for you to love me? Or just reject me so I can move on?
Sanzu, sighing: I'm just so tired of this. I want to be happy too
Mikey: ...I'm sorry
Sanzu: A apology won't change anything, Manjirou
Mikey: I know
Sanzu: Goodbye, Mikey *leaves*
Chapter 656: I always do, darling
Kisaki: If I open this door and they are making out or something like that, I promise that I will kill someone
Takemichi: Come on! Chifuyu doesn't like Hanma or feels attracted to him!
Kisaki: Yeah, just like the White Leopard and the Red Wall who are currently dating and acting like a married couple
Takemichi: ...You win this time
Kisaki: I always do, darling
Takemichi, under his breath: Bitch
Kisaki: And you and Hina still are dating me despite that
Takemichi, blushing: Just shut up and open the door!
Kisaki, laughing: Whatever my boyfriend says
Chapter 657: Grandpa?!
Mansuke: ....It's decided, Keisuke is my only grandchild.
Mansuke: None of my grandchildren would take years to confess to someone who is obviously in love with me
Mansuke: You heard me. don't appear in front of me until you are dating Wakasa, Kakuchou, Takemichi and Draken
Chapter 658: Sei! You liar!
Akane: Sei! You liar!
Inui, confused: Nee-san?
Akane: Why didn't you tell me?!
Inui, even more confused: Tell you what?
Akane: That you are dating Draken! It was Koko who had to tell me!
Inui: ....Koko did what?!
Akane: Oh, don't be angry at Koko now! I should have been the first to know about it!
Inui: I'm not dating Draken!
Akane, with a raised eyebrow: Then what is this? *shows a photo of Draken and Inui cuddling while in bed*
Inui: We are just friends hanging out!
Akane: I will believe you for now...
*three hours later, Draken comes to the Inui house*
Draken: Hello, Akane-san
Akane: Hello, Draken. Sei is in his room
Draken: Thanks *goes to Seishu's room*
*Akane after a few minutes follows him and spies into Inui's room to find the two boys kissing:
Akane, muttering while making her way back to the living room: Friends my ass! If that is how friends act imagine how lovers act!
Chapter 659: You certainly have his blonde hair but....
Mikey: Guys? Why are you so quiet?
Draken: Mikey...how should we say this?
Mikey: What do you mean? You think I don't look like my dad?
Mitsuya: You certainly have his blonde hair but....
Pah-chin: He looks more like Takemichi and Smiley than you
Baji: He did cheat on your mom before so maybe he did more than once?
Mikey: ...But mom talked so well about him
Sanzu: Love makes you do that...
Takemichi: Or maybe one of mine and Smiley's parents is cousins with you dad?
Mikey: ...That is also possible
Smiley: And the more true one since I have my mom's hair and Souya has our dad's hair
Mikey: I will ask grandpa when I arrive home!
Chapter 660: King
*during a Toman meeting*
Mucho: Hey, Sanzu!
Mucho: What started this king thing?
Sanzu: What do you mean?
Smiley: You always call Mikey your king, we are just curious what started that
Sanzu: Oh, actually it was Baji who started it
Mikey: What Haru is saying, is the truth
Baji: I remember it! I think we were watching a movie with royalty and I said Mikey was our king
Peh-yan: Then is there a queen, prince, etc?
Mikey: Haru is the queen, Emma is the princess while Baji and Senju are the knights
Mitsuya: Senju? Who is she?
Baji: Another childhood friend
Takemichi: But why does Sanzu call you king all the time?
Sanzu: To annoy Senju since she is possessive of me and me calling Mikey my king makes her think I like Mikey
Mikey: Even if Sanzu has said a lot of times that me and Baji are the little brothers he never wanted but that he sadly loves
Draken: I see...
Chapter 661: Finger guns but with backstory
Chifuyu, off to investigate with Kazutora: Alright if he comes back alone, look for my body. He probably cut me into pieces with one of his twenty seven knives.
Ryusei: Will do. Have fun. I love you.
Kazutora, getting into his car: *shocked*
Takemichi, standing next to Ryusei: *shocked*
Chifuyu: *finger guns*
Kazutora: *floors it*
Chifuyu, still shocked: Did Ryusei just tell me he loves me for the first time?
Chifuyu: And did I do finger guns back?
Kazutora: Yeah, you did.
Chifuyu, horrified: NO.
Ryusei: *still shocked*
Takemichi: *pats his shoulder and walks away*
Chapter 662: This one but with FuyuTora+Baji & Peke J
*Kazutora holding his and Chifuyu's baby*
Chifuyu: Oh God, I can’t believe I actually have one of these..*looking at Kazutora and their baby*
Baji: I know, Peke J is still one of those *is holding Peke J in a baby onesie that didn't fit the baby while giving him milk with a baby bottle*
Chapter 663: Black Dragon be like
Shion, coming home from school with paper in hand: KEI! KEI! LOOK! LOOK! LOOK! LOOK! *Shows paper*
Benkei, looking at the paper: What's this?
Shion: I got an A+ on my book report!
Benkei: Aww, my little lion. That's amazing, I'm proud of you. This is going right up the board
Shinichiro, coming home from school: OMI! *bursts into Takeomi's room*
Takeomi: What's up?
Shinichiro: You'll never guess what happened in school today
Takeomi: Tell me
Shinichiro: In Literature class, our final semester project was to perform a play
Takeomi, excited: And??!?
Shinichiro, shows paper: I GOT THE LEAD!!!!
Takeomi: AAAAAAAHHH!!!! *fangirling*
Shinichiro: AAAAAAAHHH!!!! *also fangirling*
Takeomi: *takes paper and puts it on the board then hugs Shinichiro* AWWW YEAAAH! CONGRATULATIONS, BUDDY!
Izana: Here you go, Waka. *gives picture*
Wakasa: What's this?
Izana: Evidence. I killed someone and hid the body
Izana: It was a guy selling kids
Wakasa: I'll be sure to put it on the board
Takemichi: I just punched a guy
Takemichi: He was being homophobic to me, Takuya and Akkun
Taiju: You got a picture?
Takemichi: No, but I knocked out 2 teeth and put it in this small ziplock *gives ziplock with teeth*
Taiju: Oooooh. Great job, Takemichi. Never thought I'd be prouder of you.
Chapter 664: You're lying my brother doesn't have any friends that I have never met!
Shinichiro: If a stranger came up to you and said "I'm your brother's friend, He told me to pick you up" what would you say?
Mikey: I'd say "You're lying my brother doesn't have any friends that I have never met!"
Shinichiro: Not where I was going, but ok.
Chapter 665: I wish I was dead
Senju, picking an eyelash off Yamagishi's cheek and holding it in front of his lips: There! Make a wish!
Yamagishi, pining, sweating, desperately trying not to blurt out that he wants to date Senju: I wish I was dead.
Chapter 666: Toman Founders
Mitsuya: Be gay, do crimes is all well and good, but one can also be queer, instill fear
Kazutora: You forgot be trans, throw hands
Baji: Be bi, go for the eye
Mikey: Be ace, punch face
Draken/Pah-chin, the struggling token straight™️:…I’m scared of you all
Chapter 667: For reasons you don't need to know
Wakasa: A human heart costs around $1 million but I gave you mine for free
Benkei: Why do you know how much a human heart costs?
Chapter 668: How can I be homophobic?
Mansuke: How can I be homophobic?
Mansuke: When my idiot multiple grandkids that continue to grow in number are gay?
Chapter 669: He’s me ex-boyfriend
Naoto: Draken? He’s me ex-boyfriend.
Draken: Yeah! We thought it would be best to break up when we got married.
Chapter 670: Glue stick
Yumi: You know, as your friend this really hurts my soul
Yasuda: Seriously I just don't get it. Why are there so many different variations?
Yumi: Please tell me you're joking
Yasuda: I'm not. What's the difference between lip balm, lipstick, Chapstick, and glue stick?
Chapter 671: One doesn’t exclude the others
Kisaki: ‘Ran is sexy’ ‘Ran is a good fighter’ blah blah.
Kisaki: Ran is a whore and that’s it.
Ran: One doesn’t exclude the others.
Chapter 672: Drama King
Peh-yan: God I hate being alive I just wanna die in a national park under mysterious circumstances
Peh-yan, 30 minutes later: Okay I’m done being dramatic I finally did the dishes and it's not that bad
Chapter 673: Hey, pretty boy, what’re you up to?
*over the phone*
Ran: Hey, pretty boy, what’re you up to?
Shion: Eating cereal in bed.
Ran: And what would you be doing if I was in bed with you?
Shion: …I would still be eating my cereal?
Chapter 674: Who is she talking about?
Emma: Apologist? Not necessarily. Explainer? Perhaps. Understander? Intimately. Enjoyer? Greatly. Sexualizer? Frequently.
Chapter 675: Was he scammed?
Rindou: Shion taught me to be careful about scammers
Angry: Was he scammed?
Rindou: No, he was the scammer
Chapter 676: I like this ruler
Yuzuha: So you're like, gay for Hakkai?
Mitsuya: Of course not, I'm straight as a ruler.
The Ruler™: *bends until it forms a circle*
Chapter 677: Happy 'Hanma sucks' Thursday!
Baji: Hey, guys. Happy 'Hanma sucks' Thursday, everybody.
Hanma: Uh, what's 'Hanma sucks' Thursday?
Choji: Why would we ever tell you, Hanma?
Chapter 678: I, too, would be just okay with that
Chome: You ever just suddenly remember that Linguini and Remy can't communicate? Linguini does not have some special ability to understand rats. He just flipping. Accepts that this weird rat wants to cook and can control him with his hair. He's just okay with that.
Luna: If a rat showed up and made me capable of getting done all the stuff I need to get done, I, too, would be just okay with that.
Chapter 679: Another normal day in Bonten
Kakuchou: WHAT THE HELL, RINDOU! YOU KILLED THEM!
Rindou: They had a knife!
Mochi: YOU ORDERED STEAK!
Chapter 680: Not anymore
*talking about keeping Izana*
Benkei: We know his father is dead, but maybe his mother or a sibling is looking for him. We should probably put-up posters.
Wakasa: Yes, they should have a big picture of him and the words "Is this your son/brother? Not anymore".
Chapter 681: Once...
Mikey, during Bonten timeline: Once I fix my sleep schedule, start eating healthy, get even more physically fit, beat the innermost thoughts that haunt me, stop procrastinating, learn how to do taxes, and get mentally strong enough to make phones calls, it's over for you bitches-
Chapter 682: What if I flop?
Takemichi: What if I flop?
Shinichiro: Oh, darling, but what if you slay?
Chapter 683: Waka when he went to tell Mikey about Shin
Wakasa: We need to talk.
Mikey: That has never been true.
Chapter 684: Not an answer to my question, though
Takemichi: This puzzle sure is hard. What do you think Akkun?
Akkun: *five seconds of a fast-paced eurobeat style remix of "killing me softly"*
Takemichi: Fire! Not an answer to my question, though.
Chapter 685: I thought we talked about outing me as a hypocrite
Wakasa: Kei, you need to abandon your emotions like me
Benkei: Didn't you cry when Izana gave you flowers for Father's Day?
Wakasa: I thought we talked about outing me as a hypocrite
Chapter 686: ...Are you trying to start shit?
Sanzu: *gives Chifuyu candy*
Chifuyu: Wow, thank you! You know, despite what Baji-san says about you, I think you're alright
Baji: ...Are you trying to start shit?
Chapter 687: That's okay, you can throw them out
Takeomi: Shin, the kids didn't finish their grapes.
Shinichiro: That's okay, you can throw them out.
Takeomi: Alright then.
Takeomi, sending Sanzu, Mikey, Baji, Senju and Emma outside: Come on now, go, go.
Chapter 688: But I can tell you two things
Chonbo, to Kazutora: I can't tell what Baji and Hanma are planning. But I can tell you two things.
Chonbo: We won't like it and it probably won't be legal
Chapter 689: I hate this family
Baji: Hey, you wanna slow dance?
Hanma: I thought you'd never ask.
Baji and Hanma: *do the fortnite dance together in 0.5 speed*
Chome: I hate this family
Chapter 690: You're living in a fantasy
Takemichi: Please don't do this. I know there's still good in you.
Mikey: You're so naïve, Takemichi. You see the good in everybody even when it's not there. You're living in a fantasy. There is no Easter Bunny, there is no Tooth Fairy, and there is no Queen of England.
Chapter 691: How each older brother explains to their little brothers that they are getting a little sister
Mikey: And then Not Mommy kissed Daddy, and the angel told the stork, and the stork flew down from heaven, and left a diamond under a leaf in the cabbage patch, and the diamond turned into a baby!
Sanzu: My parents are having a baby, too. They had sex.
Chapter 692: Mommy issues
Hina: You pull a car over for speeding and you find out that it's your mother. How do you handle the situation?
Emma: I'd tell her “you bitch, where the fuck have you been these last ten years?”
Chapter 693: Armkle
Baji, bangs wrist on the table: Ow! My armkle.
Chifuyu: Your what?
Ryusei, tiredly: His wrist.
Chapter 694: Muscles
Blame Alex and my for some reason attraction to characters with muscles(which are also part of my teddy bear squad)
South, with Senju touching his chest happily: ...What is she doing?
Wakasa, groaning: Not again
Takeomi: ...It may or may not be a family thing
Benkei: Ohhh, Takeomi did the same thing when we first met
Draken: ...Is that why Sanzu did that to me and Mucho?
Senju, stopping what she was doing: What?! Haru did that to you?!
Takeomi: Uh, I didn't expect that, but I can see why Haru likes you
Senju: ...Yeah, me too but South fits my type better
Takeomi: Technically our type is the same- a guy with muscles, that can fight and that is tall
South: ...Can we just act like we didn't hear this?
South: Good...now back on threatening you and trying to kill Draken
Chapter 695: I need a hero!
*during a party*
Mitsuya: Who gave alcohol to the vice-captains, Inui and Kakuchou?
Hanma/Baji/Shion: Don't look at us!
Izana: Why do you ask?
Mitsuya: *points towards were said group his singing while pointing at some people*
Takemichi, crying and pointing at Mucho: I need a hero!
Inui, pointing at Draken with one of his heels: I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light!
Peh-yan, holding onto Angry and pointing to Ran: He's gotta be sure!
Angry, holding Peh-yan and looking at Mikey: And it's gotta be soon!
Sanzu/Kakuchou, hugging each other and pointing at South: And he's gotta be larger than life!
Chifuyu, from Mochi's lap: Larger than life!
Izana: ...What the fuck'
Kazutora: Oh! This was Fuyu's idea for them to confess?
Mitsuya: ...I'm sorry but what?!
Chapter 696: Fucked up family
Hakkai: That trophy was tearing us apart. We were like a beautiful family with only one last piece of pizza on the table, and we were going to kill each other for that pizza, and I'm glad it's gone.
Yuzuha: If we're like a family that would kill each other for pizza, that's really fucked up. And you know what the weird thing is? I think we are that family.
Hakkai: Yeah, I'm not saying we're a great family
Taiju: No, we're a fucked up family
Chapter 697: I don't have a seat
Yuzuha: I don't have a seat.
Senju, excitedly patting her thighs: You can sit on my lap!
Koko: I don't have a seat either.
Inui: Then stand.
Chapter 698: You bought a taco?
Hanma: You bought a taco?
Hanma: From the same truck that hit Kisaki?!
Shion, with a mouthful of taco: Well, me starving ain't gonna help them.
Chapter 699: And he can be pretty stupid
Hanma: You’d be stupid to lay a hand on me.
Baji: Oh, you’d be surprised how much stupid shit I do.
Chapter 700: Yeah, you certainly can't
*a bomb falls just where Takemichi was standing a moment before*
Takemichi: That could have killed me!
Takemichi: ...I can’t catch a break.
Chapter 701: He's a two
Takemichi: They’re a seven but they hate your guts
Chifuyu: I feel like this question is better aimed at Kisaki
Kisaki: First of all, we agreed not to target anyone, fuck you, and second of all, they’re a ten
Chifuyu: Hah, this is kind of fun
Kisaki, looking Chifuyu in the eyes: Okay. He’s an eight but he’s an idiot who seems to have drunk 10 coffees and energy drink all at the same time
Hanma: Ha, you must mean Baji, there’s no way you rated me anything less than a ten
Chifuyu, deadpan: He’s a two
Chapter 702: ...It's a murder investigation
Kazutora: Can we get over this fixation with who did what when?
Naoto: ...It's a murder investigation.
Chapter 703: I don't have post-traumatic stress
Mikey: I don't have post-traumatic stress. I have post-traumatic ennui. Post-traumatic defeatism. Post-traumatic 'what's the point?'.
Chapter 704: Shin said this but then got killed
Shinichiro, to Wakasa: Take care of Takeomi, please. I'm probably going to marry him.
Chapter 705: Yeah, this is probably true
Chifuyu: Why are you doing this?
Kisaki: Daddy issues, to get my crush, megalomania, greed...Wow. That felt really good to get off my chest
Chapter 706: I don't think so
Ran, handing out alcoholic drinks, to Kakuchou: You drink, right?
Mochi, plucks it away: I don't think so.
Chapter 707: ...Sure. Yeah.
Sanzu: Have you slept at all? You seem a little-
Mikey: *rapidly, strung higher than usual* Focused? Motivated? On point?
Sanzu: …Sure. Yeah.
Chapter 708: Pain threshold
Takemichi: I have a high pain threshold. In fact, it’s less of a threshold and more of a large and tastefully decorated foyer.
Chapter 709: Baji telling Chifuyu and Ryusei about Kazutora
Baji, to Chifuyu and Ryusei: Kazutora is like a house of cards.
Baji: Beautifully put together yet on the verge of falling to pieces.
Chapter 710: I can handle another emo phase
Senju: *entering the room wearing eyeliner and ripped jeans*
Takeomi: Uh, good morning? Do you want something to eat?
Senju: Does it matter? There’s no point. We’re going to die soon anyway.
Takeomi: Ok. This is fine. I can handle another emo phase.
Sanzu: The fuck do you mean ‘another?!’
Chapter 711: I'm on top of the world
Kazutora, resting on top of Chifuyu's chest: I’m on top of the world.
Chifuyu: Actually, you’re on top of me.
Kazutora: I know. You are my world.
Chifuyu: *hugs Kazutora tightly*
Chapter 712: It is both definitely
Mikey: Is there something deeply evil living within me or am I just up past my bedtime.
Chapter 713: So true, Emma is best girl
Emma: My mother cried when I was born because she knew that she’d never be better than me.
Chapter 714: I'll consume you like a goldfish cracker
Some Random Woman, pulling 7 and 6 year old Senju and Sanzu aside: Would you like me as your sister-in-law?
Senju, smiling cutely: I'll consume you like a goldfish cracker
Sanzu: Sorry, we only accept brothers-in-law and even then, that position has already been occupied
Chapter 715: I want it to show up on a drug test
Benkei: How strong do you like your coffee?
Wakasa: I want it to show up on a drug test
Chapter 716: Anybody could be a hoe for the right person...
Takemichi, flustered: Anybody could be a hoe for the right person...
Hina, snorting: And some of us are just hoes in general. Just tell him you wanna suck his dick, he’ll be into it, I promise.
Chapter 717: You know what it means.
Masato: I could give a shit about your happiness! Stop dating my daughter!
Takemichi: You know what? I'm gonna start dating her even harder.
Masato What's that supposed to mean?
Takemichi: You know what it means.
Chapter 718: Respect the Thing!
Kazutora:...I'll do a thing.
Inui: What thing?
Kazutora: I don't know! It's a thing in progress! Respect the Thing!
Chapter 719: Hi, Fuyu
Teacher: Alright, take out your books
Chifuyu: *unzips bag*
Chifuyu: What the fuck??
Ryusei, popping out of the bag: Hi, Fuyu
Chapter 720: Cat made out of bread
Chifuyu: *holding up a kitten* He's a pure bred
Kazutora: Wow, a cat made out of bread
Chapter 721: Who?
Shinichiro: Oh, look, little hats. We should get one for Y/N.
Shinichiro: Um, our child?
Takeomi: Shin, we don’t have a kid.
Chapter 722: Blackout
*blackout in the Sano house*
Benkei: Calm down, people. It is just the light
Shinichiro: WHERE IS EMMA AND MIKEY?!
Mikey: DON'T SCREAM
Wakasa: *pulling others' feet pretending to be a haunting*
Sanzu: WHO SQUEEZED MY ASS?
Takeomi: I can't take it anymore
Chapter 723: Sit up straight
Hakkai: 'Sit up straight', how dare you? I'll sit as gay as I please
Chapter 724: This isn't even gay anymore
Senju, talking about Hina: Do you ever look at a girl so gorgeous and it's like this isn't even gay anymore, I'm just extremely impressed.
Chapter 725: Well, DON'T
Sanzu, talking about Mikey to Takemichi, Kisaki and Izana: 'I could fix him!', 'I could make him worse!'
Sanzu: Well, DON'T.
Sanzu: I'm trying to study him, and your tampering would completely throw off my results!
Chapter 726: I conjured him!
*after they destroyed the headquarters*
Hanma: Anyone else have the weird urge to lecture themselves?
Hanma, as Chonbo: Hanma Shuji, what are you doing?
Chonbo, appearing from behind Jason: Hanma Shuji, what are you doing?
Hanma: I conjured him.
Chapter 727: Just try to describe the feeling
About today's manga chapter:
Wakasa: So, how do you feel right now?
Y/N: Uh, I don´t know?
Wakasa: It´s okay if you don´t know. Just try to describe the feeling.
Y/N: Okay. I´ll try.
Y/N: *high pitched screaming*
Y/N: That´s pretty much it.
Chapter 728: Um, make lemonade?
South: What does a winner do when life gives them lemons?
Shion: Um, make lemonade?
South: No, they squeeze them right back into life’s eyes!
Chapter 729: No, I would hate that
Takemichi: Congratulations. We did it. And we did it together, because we're a team.
Hanma: Should we do it again next week?
Chifuyu/Kisaki: No, I would hate that.
Chapter 730: I need somebody to take this personality test for my psych class
Hina: I need somebody to take this personality test for my psych class. I was hoping to wow my professor with a genuine psycho. Like South. Or Sanzu. Or Mikey would be great.
Chapter 731: I'm the 1%
Benkei: 99.9% of the people I know are stupid.
Wakasa: I’m the 1%
Benkei: *looking at him* Are you? Are you really?
Chapter 732: Omi, would you give me your hand?
Wakasa: Omi, would you give me your hand?
Takeomi, extends his hand: Sure, but why–
Wakasa: Your hand in marriage! HA, no take backs! We're engaged now!
Chapter 733: I am strong, father
Peke J: Father, why have you forbade me from entering the delicious chamber?
Chifuyu: It's called an oven and you will die.
Peke J: I am strong, Father.
Chapter 734: Friend pick-up lines
Senju: Why aren't there friend pick-up lines? Pick up lines to make friends like-
Senju, to Emma: Hey, that's a cute outfit. You know where it would look better? On nobody else, because you're a beautiful individual!
Baji, to Sanzu: Be my friend or I'll set your entire family on fire.
Shinichiro: There are two types of people
Chapter 735: That's why I exist
Emma: You deserve the best
Draken: Oh, well thank-
Emma: That's why I exist
Baji, holding in his laughter:
Sanzu: That’s my girl
Chapter 736: I don't set up alarms
Wakasa: I’ve been sleeping so little the past few nights that when I go to the alarm app, I click on the “power nap” button. I don’t set up alarms, I set up timers, Omi.
Chapter 737: Hugging you~
Mikey: ... What are you two doing?
Sanzu: Hugging you~
Baji: Research has shown that hugs are a great way to release pleasant chemicals within the brain.
Mikey: This is so stupid.
Baji: And yet you haven't told us to let you go... interesting.
Mikey: *mumbles something incoherent as he hides his face in Sanzu's neck*
Sanzu, giggling: Care to repeat that, Mikey? I couldn't hear what you said.
Mikey, grumbles: I said you're both warm... so don't even think about letting me go.
Baji, chuckles, resting his jaw atop Mikey's head: Letting you go were not on today's agenda.
Sanzu, hugging Mikey tighter: Yep!
Chapter 738: He’s cat’lic
Taiju, pointing at Koko: Inui, you can’t bring a cat to church!
Inui: Why not? He’s cat’lic.
Chapter 739: Please don't-
Takeomi: Please don’t-
Chapter 740: Ah, yes, siblings
Rindou: Guys, I have a question.
Ran: kys <3
Rindou: I love you too.
Mucho: Ah, yes, siblings.
Chapter 741: Ya’ll just happen to be here
Choji: I apologize for not reacting appropriately but that was a poor excuse for a joke, Hanma.
Baji: What’s even worse is that he laughed at his own poor ass joke.
Hanma: I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Ya’ll just happen to be here.
Chapter 742: HanRan be like
Hanma: I get the feeling you don’t like me.
Ran: I’ve told you repeatedly that I don’t.
Chapter 743: Tora's just having a hard day
Chifuyu: Tora's just having a hard day.
Hina: Okay...then how do you explain that?
Kazutora *surrounded by 5 empty pie tins and working on a sixth pie* I FORGE MY OWN PATH!
Chapter 744: Chaos
Hakkai: *going on an anxious tangent*
Peh-yan: *talking in circles about a bunch of weird things Takemichi should do or try*
Sanzu: *speaking like an emotional roller-coaster*
Angry: *takes the three in with lost eyes*
Takemichi: *stressed whimper*
Chifuyu: Don't worry we got this.
Inui, summons a big radio with speakers: To calm down racing thoughts.
Chifuyu, presses play: White noise has many good implications to calm a racing mind.
Sanzu: *tappers off and slumps against Angry having run out of words to say*
Angry: *leans back against Sanzu looking less lost*
Hakkai and Peh-yan: *having calmed a bit but are still talking*
Takemichi: It helped... but it's still not-
Inui, turns off the white noise and turns on brown noise instead: There. That should do it.
Hakkai: *falls over from how relaxed he became*
Peh-yan: *falls asleep*
Takemichi, deep exhale of relief: Thanks guys...
Chapter 745: I'm not doing anything
Takeomi: What’s going on? Oh! Are we messing with Benkei?
*Takeomi sits on Benkei’s lap*
Benkei: Takeomi! Do you have to sit right there?
Takeomi: What? I’m not doing anything.
Chapter 746: Let it out, girl!
Shion: Love when the washing machine gets to the angry part. Let it out, girl!
Chapter 747: A rumor?
Akane: You do realize there’s a rumor going around that you’re in love with Takeomi?
Wakasa: A rumor? Are you telling me people are doubting it?
Chapter 748: I come up with 0 in the end
Hakkai: I have so many thoughts that they all cancel each other out and I come up with 0 in the end.
Chapter 749: We weren't sleeping
This may be slightly influenced by Pathetic Little Answer<3
Ran, to Mikey: I heard some screams coming from your room last night, nightmares again?
Koko: *rolls his eyes*
Kakuchou, with a groan: Here we go...
Takemichi and Sanzu: *walks into the kitchen with a noticeable limp, their hair a disaster, and smile sleepily at Mikey as they go to grab coffee*
Mikey, watching Takemichi and Sanzu with a smirk: We weren’t sleeping.
Chapter 750: Best
Shinichiro, to Takeomi: You're my best friend and the best fuck I ever had
Chapter 751: What, with your conscience?
Takeomi: I wrestled in high school
Draken: What, with your conscience?
Chapter 752: We need more women
Senju: We need more women. 3,822,561,000 isn't enough.
Chapter 753: Takemichi whenever it comes to Mikey
Takemichi: Unredeemable to YOU, I, on the other hand, have very flexible morals.
Chapter 754: Wh- No
Yamagishi: Are you reading fanfiction?
Benkei, reading an article about extremely rare diseases: Wh- No.
Yamagishi: Oh, is it on AO3?
Benkei: This is CNN.
Chapter 755: Much worse
Kisaki: And I’d love to be sorry for that, but we all know I’ve done much, much worse.
Chapter 756: It's, actually, really hot
Shion: I love it when you tell me something I don't know. It's, actually, really hot.
Akkun: Vacuum cleaners were, originally, horse-drawn.
Shion: I'm disappointed, in myself, that that still worked for me.
Chapter 757: Impasta
Hanma: Hey, wanna hear a funny joke?
Wakasa: I only like dark humor.
Hanma, turning the lights off: What do you call a fake noodle?
Hanma: An IMPASTA!
Chapter 758: My boyfriend isn't home
Baji: My boyfriend isn’t home and I forget the english world for something and its bad
Takemichi: I will assist???
Baji: You know that little sea bug with the stupid hands and it has a home but it changes it sometimes
Takemichi: Hermit crab?
Baji: THAT'S THE BITCH.
Chapter 759: Ran, I choose you!
Shion, throwing a Pokeball at Ran: Ran, I choose you!
Ran, not looking up from his phone and catching it: You need an Ultra ball to catch this Legendary Pokémon~
Chapter 760: Seething with justified rage
Hina: People ask me what I’m up to and I’m like, “seething with justified rage”
Chapter 761: The fact that I'm laying on you means nothing
Takemichi: The difference between us is that I do nothing to try to hide my clinginess while you pretend it's a coincidence that you're in the same room as me 97% of the time.
Kisaki: The fact that I'm laying on you means nothing.
Chapter 762: And in this case possibly "with"
Takemichi: Family isn't who you're born with, it's who you'd die for!
Takemichi, looking at his friends: And in this case possibly "with"
Chapter 763: We are surrounded
Chome: We are surrounded
Hanma: Excellent, we can attack in any direction!
Chapter 764: Meh
Senju: Draken, don't you dare hurt him
Draken: *laughs* I won't
Baji: Don't laugh. She means it
Draken: Ok, I-I won't
Emma: Seriously, don't hurt him
Draken: Ok- I'm not planning on hurting him
Shinichiro: You better not be
Draken: I'm not!
Takeomi: Hey. Draken? You best watch yourself.
Draken: Why would any of you think I would hurt Sanzu? You're all my friends too
Chapter 765: What are you considering?
Kazutora: I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want to do when I grow up…
Random Prisoner: What are you considering?
Kazutora: Well, as a prisoner, I have all the muscles for a pole dancer
Chapter 766: I wouldn't be able to sleep at night
Mikey: If I ever accidentally hurt Emma, I wouldn't be able to sleep at night.
Mikey: Partly because I'd feel guilty; mostly because I'd know Senju and Sanzu would be coming for my head.
Chapter 767: They're both limitless
Koko: Do you know what my love for you and my bank account have in common?
Koko, winking: They’re both limitless
Chapter 768: Because there’s always food on my face
Sakurako: I told you no midnight snacking, but you snacked anyway!
Mikey: No, I didn’t!
Sakurako: Oh, really? Then why is there food on your face?
Mikey: Because there’s always food on my face.
Chapter 769: My love, I am intoxicated
Izana: Shion texted me "my love, I am intoxicated" and five minutes later Ran sends me a photo of him, passed out, phone in hand and zoomed in a picture of me.
Chapter 770: I stand by all of them
Izana: Last night a lot of the things I said to you were pretty ugly
Izana: I just want you to know that I stand by all of them
Chapter 771: Sibling reunion in Bonten timeline(with alive Senju)
Takeomi, to Senju: We are wanted in a couple states.
Sanzu: Fifty, actually.
Chapter 772: The Scots were right all along
Hina: Based on genital structure, men should really be the ones wearing skirts and women should be wearing pants.
Takemichi: The Scots were right all along
Chifuyu: The Scots did it to hide more knives on their bodies
Kazutora: The Scots were right all along.
Chapter 773: How high are you?
Shion, after drinking the cactus juice: Am I the only one that finds it weird that I can transfer data from my brain to someone else’s by opening my mouth and pushing air with vibrations in their direction
Benkei: ... How high are you?
Chapter 774: Shower thought!
Shinichiro: Shower thought! The sun has never seen a shadow
Takeomi: If you’d stayed in the shower a bit longer you’d have realized the sun has never seen anything
Chapter 775: What if they escape the leash?
Mana: Octopus enrichment idea- take them on walks.
Mitsuya: What if they escape the leash?
Luna: Owner enrichment idea- catch 'em.
Chapter 776: None of us had a decent father figure
Senju: Why are you like this?
Takeomi: The true question is why aren't you like me? None of us had a decent father figure.
Chapter 777: This is the reason why he is single
Senju, after letting Mikey take a picture of her: Oh god these are horrible
Mikey: Well what do you want me to do that’s what you look like?
Chapter 778: But should we believe you?
*Takemichi pretending to be a cop*
Takemichi: Man, I wish I had some handcuffs
Hanma: Here, use mine!
*Hanma pulls handcuffs out of his back pocket*
Hanma: …I’m learning to do magic!
Chapter 779: I think he was mainly arrested for being stupid
Naoto: Have you, any members of your family, or close friends, been arrested for any kind of crime?
Angry: My brother was once arrested.
Naoto: How long ago was that?
Angry: Six, seven years ago.
Naoto: And what was the nature of the offense?
Angry: I'm not exactly sure. I think he was mainly arrested for being stupid.
Chapter 780: Marriage proposal
Draken: What's one or two legs, after all? And you're always by my side, aren't you? That's what I want more than anything.
Senju: Wow, that almost sounds like a marriage proposal.
Draken, pulling out a ring: That's because it is.
Senju, gasping and tearing up as Draken takes hold of her right hand: Oh
Chapter 781: Get out of my house!
Benkei: Did you ever think about how we never stop tasting our own tongues?
Shinichiro: How about I taste yours for a change?
Takeomi: I hate this so much. Get out of my house!
Chapter 782: Hey, Take-nii, can I have this?
*at the store*
Senju: Hey Haru-nii, can I have this?
Senju: *turns two degrees to the right*
Senju: Hey, Take-nii, can I have this?
Chapter 783: The little siblings bonding
*the little siblings are playing Clue*
Rindou: Wait, why are our options for suspects so limited? I mean really, if the windows were unlocked, anyone could’ve gotten in!
Emma: Rindou, it’s been 47 minutes since we set up the game! Stop criticizing the rule book and just play!
Inui: *flips over board and grabs the answer cards*
Inui: Senju? Really?
Hakkai: Goddamnit, Inui! It’s just a board game! It’s not like this is actually happening to us!
Senju: Actually happening to us..?
Naoto: Whatever it is you imbeciles are thinking, leave me out of it.
~4 hours later~
Angry: Do I even want to know how you and Rindou put this together so quickly.
Inui: *dragging a limp Emma with closed eyes across the room*
Inui: Probably not.
Emma: Remind me again why I had to be the dead body?
Naoto: Hey, shut up. You’re dead. Dead people don’t talk.
Mana, over a speaker: Just a quick reminder that you have five minutes before the poisonous gas is released!!
Emma: Why did there need to be poisonous gas?!?
Hakkai: Senju wanted to get into character.
Rindou: Well there’s no real suspense with regular gas, now grab the fake blood cans and follow me.
Angry: How about next time we stick to Go Fish....
Chapter 784: And I started thinking
Hina: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it.
Hina: And I started thinking.
Hina: Like, it was just trying to get food.
Hina: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck?
Naoto: Are you ok?
Chapter 785: Hakkai has no friends
Angry: I'm here to see Hakkai. I'm a friend of his.
Taiju: That's impossible. Hakkai has no friends.
Chapter 786: Big dick energy
Sanzu: Baji was trying to say big dick energy but he couldn't remember it and said 'is it that fat penis spirit?'
Chapter 787: I hate gossip
Koko: I think I know what would cheer you up. A little gossip.
Mikey: I hate gossip.
Also Mikey: *sips his tea* Who's it about?
Chapter 788: I'm pretty good at basketball
Akane: I'm pretty good at basketball.
Koko: I tried out for golf in high school, but I hit a goose.
Chapter 789: ...Except this
Takemichi: You helped me a lot. I have to thank you. What can I do?
Chifuyu: Marry me.
Takemichi: ...Except this.
Chapter 790: I'm bored
Two mad dogs bonding while trying to kill another mad dog
Shion: I'm bored.
Sanzu: Wanna commit first degree murder?
Benkei, hearing them: No- Stop, don't do that! Put that knife down! Put Hanma down!!
Chapter 791: From the fridge, Mikey, where the fuck else?
Emma, opening a can, accidentally spraying it everywhere: Ah, shit!
Shinichiro, gasping in shock: EMMA! We do NOT use that kinda language in this house!
Mikey, glancing suspiciously over to Izana: Gee, sure wonder where she got that from.
Izana, swiping through his phone, not looking up: From the fridge, Mikey, where the fuck else?
Chapter 792: Who is your favorite sibling?
Reporter: Who is your favorite sibling?
Takeomi, on a bad day: I have no favorites, I hate everyone equally.
Takeomi: I woke up with shaving cream on my slippers. And stick it in my comb.
Takeomi: "It's just a little fun," they said. "The war on pranks is not going to increase," they said. Look at me. Do I seem to be having fun? Why are they waging a war on pranks in my house when only one of them still lives there and some of them never lived there?
Chapter 793: You kissed me!
Mikey: You kissed me!
Baji: No, you kissed me first!
Mikey: No, I’m pretty sure you kissed me first
Baji: No, I’m definitely sure it was-
*Shinichiro and Takeomi observing from the living room*
Takeomi: It was simultaneous
Shinichiro: I’m not arguing with her though. They are still adorable.
Chapter 794: Be quiet, Omi...
Wakasa: Hm, I'm sad
Benkei: Do you want me to take my shirt off?
Wakasa: Be quiet, Omi...
Chapter 795: Hair
Takemichi, noticing Toman looking at him and his friends: ...Is something wrong?
Mitsuya: No, no! We...we just didn't expect to see you guys with your hair completely down and without any gel
Takuya: Oh! My mom is having a dinner party to celebrate a promotion at work and she requested us to have out hair down like this
Peh-yan: You guys look good
Makoto: But it is a bit strange to have our hair down like this since we normally only have our hair like this on our sleepovers
Mikey: I see...
Chapter 796: I don't have an ego
Hina: Oh, and for your information, I don't have an ego.
Hina: My Facebook photo is a landscape.
Chapter 797: Mikey, can I take you to my therapist next week?
Kazutora: Mikey, can I take you to my therapist next week?
Kazutora: She thinks I'm making you and all your issues up
Chapter 798: I'm done being careful
Takemichi: I’m done being careful.
Chifuyu: You think you’ve been careful so far?
Chapter 799: I have a philosophy in life
Baji: I have a philosophy in life, and that is if the seat is open, the job is open. That is how I briefly wound up driving a Formula 1 car.
Chapter 800: I'll help
Wakasa: Hello, Shin-chan. What are you up to?
Shinichiro, laying in the sun: Nothing.
Wakasa: Nothing at all?
Wakasa, laying down beside him: I’ll help.
Shinichiro: Please do.
Chapter 801: What's 2+2?
Chifuyu: I don’t know who I love! Kazutora or Baji?!
Hina: What’s 2+2 ?
Takemichi: What do you eat soup with?
Chifuyu: A spoon
Hina: Who do you love?
Chifuyu: Ohmygosh!! I love Kazutora!!!
*Chifuyu runs off after Kazutora*
Chapter 802: Nurturing
Akashi's Dad: I suppose you think Emma's mother is more nurturing than I am.
Takeomi/Sanzu/Senju: Father, there are prison cells that are more nurturing than you are.
Chapter 803: You're my brother
Emma, to Izana: You’re my brother and I love you, but you’re a great big bag of dicks.
Chapter 804: Well, how about Izana then?
Sanzu: Emma I need help winning a fight, and you're pretty good in a fight. Will you come?
Emma: Why don't you take Baji?
Sanzu: Baji only cares about fighting, I want to win.
Emma: How about Mikey? He is better at fighting than me
Sanzu: Mikey only cares about food...
Emma: ...True. Well, how about Izana then?
Sanzu: Seriously? No
Emma: ...Yeah, I realized it was a bad idea as soon as I hit send
Chapter 805: And weight
Wakasa: Listen, I'm older than the rest of you...
Mikey: And old.
Baji: And older.
Wakasa: And with age has come wisdom.
Senju: And weight.
Chapter 806: Do you need another pair of gloves?
*Wakasa torturing a guy while Shinichiro stands next to him helping him*
Shinichiro: Do you need another pair of gloves?
Wakasa: Yes, please.
*Wakasa changes his blood-covered gloves and gives Shinichiro a soft smile*
Wakasa: I’m almost done here
Shinichiro: It’s alright, take your time *smiles nonchalantly*
*Wakasa gets lost in Shinichiro’s smile for long seconds*
The guy being tortured: Can I…?
Wakasa: Shut the fuck up! We’re having a moment here. Can’t you see it??!
Chapter 807: We could've had it-
Takeomi: We could've had it-
Sanzu and Senju, in the background screaming their lungs out: ALL!
Baji: ...What are they doing?
Benkei: I don't really know
Chapter 808: I'm doing better than you then
Smiley: Are you drinking pepsi for breakfast?
Peh-yan: Yeah, what did you have for breakfast?
Peh-yan: I'm doing better than you then.
Chapter 809: Stupider
Hakkai: This is the stupidest fight ever!
Baji: We've had stupider!
Chapter 810: Why must you always insult me?
Hanma: Why must you always insult me?
Kisaki/Kazutora: That's called being a good and attentive partner. Calling out the dumbass things your dumbass partner does.
Chapter 811: Time travel
Takeomi: Adulting is hard
Shinichiro: How do I quit?
Benkei: Time travel
Chapter 812: Mother's day
Sakurako: You spent Mother's Day without your family?
Karen: It's called "Mother's Day," not "Spend Time With Your Kids Day"...
Chapter 813: Might fuck them
Senju: Embracing my demons
Sanzu: French kissing them
Takeomi: Might fuck them
Chapter 814: I swear I have seen them before...
Draken: Hey, do those men over there seem familiar to you?
Draken: I swear I have seen them before...
Kazutora: That's Haitani Ran and Haitani Rindou
Draken, confused since Kazutora wasn't present during Toman vs Tenjiku: You know them?
Kazutora: They have been my sugar daddies for months. So yes, I do know them.
Chapter 815: Aw, Koko
Koko: Rindou! I’m so glad you’re here! I-I mean in a totally non-romantic, comrade-in-arms kind of way.
Rindou: Aw, Koko
Chapter 816: You're lookin' at a man with nothin' to lose!
*Kisaki is going shopping*
Takemichi: Alright, I just need to see your credentials, you know that you need a doctorate in Villain to shop here.
Kisaki: Yeah, last time I kinda sweet-talked the guy. And by sweet-talked I mean threatened his family and friends.
Takemichi: I know, that was me. But since then I’ve gotten seaparated from my family and friends, so your threats are meaningless!
Takemichi: You're lookin' at a man with nothin' to lose!
Chapter 817: Did you get my ice cream sandwich?
Mochi: How did that window break?
Hanma: I do not know. It is a very cheap train. Everything breaks.
*Hanma turns, his face is covered in blood*
Mochi: Oh my God. What happened to your face?
Hanma: I may have killed the bad woman. It's OK! I threw her out the window. She's gone. Did you get my ice cream sandwich?
Chapter 818: The fuck?!
Chifuyu/Inui: Be gay, do crime
Hakkai: NO, BE GAY, STOP CRIME
Angry: Be Bi, stay free thanks to legal loopholes
Takemichi/Peh-yan: The fuck?!
Sanzu: Be Pan, learn to hide all evidence
Chapter 819: Coke(the soda) & Coke(the powder)
Takeomi: I’ve noticed since I had COVID Coke(the soda) tastes GROSS
Ran: Thanks for clarifying
Rindou: Coke(the powder) still tastes fine?
Chapter 820: Do you wanna hold my baby?
Emma: Do you wanna hold my baby?
Izana: Yeah, nice try. You got yourself into this mess, you hold your own damn baby.
Chapter 821: Ugh, nevermind
*in a night club*
Takeomi, texting: Where the fuck did you and Benkei go?
Shinichiro, also texting: WE'RE FUCKING
Shinichiro: TRYING TO *message not delivered*
Shinichiro: GET DRINKS *message not delivered*
Takeomi: Ugh, nevermind.
Shinichiro: NO WAIT *message not delivered*
Chapter 822: Party rocking
Takemichi: You know come to think of it, I don't believe those men were ever truly sorry for party rocking
Chapter 823: Craft
Angry: ...I would suck a dick right now but not necessarily in a horny way. It would be more about the craft
Chapter 824: Compassionate God
Phe-yan: I can't believe that the same compassionate God who created weed also invented me going to work in the morning
Chapter 825: Source
Sanzu: 'Source?' Bro, it's divine intuition
Chapter 826: First date idea
Chifuyu: First date idea- We go out for coffee and then the date lasts the entire weekend and then we move in together by the end of the month.
Hakkai: *By the end of the week
Chapter 827: Why do they gotta play ABBA in grocery stores?
Inui: Why do they gotta play ABBA in grocery stores?........What kind of cruel torment is that?........You can't just put me, a gay, in a public area where literally every single human has to visit...and play Voulez-vous....What am I meant to do?? NOT go berserk?? NOT give in to the most primal desires to dance and sing etched into my gay ass bones?? YOU EXPECT ME to sit here and browse tinned peaches with fucking ABBA playing though shitty tinny ass public speakers??
Chapter 828: Police issue
Yumi: Haruki, is that outfit a police issue?
Pah-chin, in a Hawaiian shirt and sparkly leggings, not paying attention: Oh yeah, I'm definitely a police issue
Chapter 829: I'm a little messed up
Akane: Release all the sounds trapped in your mind.
Shinichiro: *makes an inhuman screech*
Akane: Shin, are you ok?
Shinichiro, sheepish: I'm a little messed up.
Chapter 830: It's just fun to argue
Chonbo: Yeah, Chome...But sometimes giving up is a good thing, like in arguments, if you know you are wrong then give up..
Choji, glaring at Hanma:
Hanma: I know I'm wrong, It's just fun to argue.
Chapter 831: Omg, that was beautiful
*At Sanzu and Rindou’s wedding*
Senju, making a speech: We’re gathered here to celebrate my brother's marriage
Senju: And I have only one thing left to say to that brother
Senju: I implore you to rethink your choice. There’s still time to run. It’s not too late
Takeomi, wiping his eyes: Omg, that was beautiful
Chapter 832: Knitting club
Yasuda: You know archaic Latin?
Peh-yan: I got bored with classical Latin.
Yasuda: You know normal Latin?
Peh-yan: Yeah someone from my knitting club taught me.
Yasuda: YOU HAVE A KNITTING CLUB?
Peh-yan: You don't know everything about me, Yasuda.
Chapter 833: Yes, mom
Baji: Hey, old man! I have a question.
Ryoko: Mind your manners, Keisuke.
Baji: Yes, mom. Please answer my question, old man.
Chapter 834: You say that everytime
Koko: Let's do a post-mortem on our failed mission to see what we did wrong.
Mochi: We allowed idiots to make decisions.
Kakuchou: You say that every time.
Mochi: I haven't been wrong yet.
Chapter 835: You'll get used to it
Mikey: I demand that you hug me!!
Shinichiro: That’s how he asks for hugs.
Takeomi: You’ll get used to it.
Chapter 836: Yeah, I do
Sanzu: Are you serious? We almost died doing this, and now you're just eating a scone?
Shinichiro: What? I wanted a scone, do you want half?
Sanzu: Yeah, I do.
Chapter 837: Fortune favors the bold
Ran: They say that fortune favors the bold. Therefore, thinking with my dick will grant me fortune.
Chapter 838: My life stinks
Mikey: My life stinks.
Shinichiro: Cheer up, you’re still a kid.
Takeomi: It’s gonna get much worse.
Chapter 839: I cannot hold still that long
Shion: I want to hold you in my arms for the rest of time...
Yuzuha: Darling, I cannot hold still that long.
Chapter 840: Quick, before Taiju wakes up
Yuzuha: What are you doing?
Hakkai: I was just gonna light this chicken on fire to see if it turns into a phoenix
Yuzuha: It's 2am
Yuzuha: Quick, before Taiju wakes up
Chapter 841: You think I have that kind of authority?
Pah-chin: It's cold in this house.
Peh-yan: Then turn up the heat.
Pah-chin: *glancing at Yumi* You think I have that kind of authority?
Chapter 842: Ocean in a cup
Baji: Why don't we put all of the ocean in a cup, clean out the bottom and then pour it back?
Hanma: Idk, that's a lot of water man...might need two cups
Chapter 843: Men's washroom
Hasegawa: One time, I accidentally went to the men's washroom instead of the women's one. The way I found out was that I opened a pad and the guy in the stall next to me said 'Dude, it must be a huge shit if you're having snacks here, good luck'.
Chapter 844: Prove it
South: My name is Terano Minami, and I play the piano.
Rindou: Prove it.
South: There's no piano here.
Shion: That wouldn't get in the way of a real pianist.
Chapter 845: You wouldn't get our bond
Chifuyu: Living with a tall dude is ridiculous. I just turned around and he was walking our cat around on the ceiling.
Hanma: You wouldn't get our bond
Chapter 846: Bae
Ryusei: What does bae even mean?
Chifuyu, instantly: Baji above everything
Chapter 847: ...You wouldn't
Yuzuha: You want me to do what? Ahahahaha! No.
Koko: Are you sure you wish to refuse my request?
Yuzuha: Absolutely. Yes.
Koko: Even though I have the entirety of your search history at my fingertips.
Yuzuha: …You wouldn’t.
Koko: I wonder what Taiju and Hakkai would think about your three month long obsession with-
Yuzuha: Fine! I’ll do it!
Koko: Why thank you for your generous, totally not blackmailed, offer to help me, Yuzuha.
Chapter 848: The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak
Akane: How slutty would you say you are?
Mochi: In theory? Very. In practice? Not at all, I'm lazy
Benkei: The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak(?)
Chapter 849: Three-way in a hot-air balloon
Ran: Don’t preach to me about romance, Rindou. I had a three-way in a hot-air balloon.
Chapter 850: Ok
Ryusei: I forbid you from taking another step out of this room
*Chifuyu jumps out the window*
Chapter 851: You're absolutely right
Mikey: If my crush disagrees with me, I will immediately change my views. I have no principles.
Takemichi: Well, maybe you should have principles.
Mikey: You're absolutely right. Maybe I should.
Chapter 852: And you are ugly
Smiley: *making his way to the meeting, he spots his friend gazing out the window* What are you doing you, Peh-yan?
Peh-yan: She's pretty~*fawns as he looks down at Yasuda sitting below a tree with a book"*
Smiley: ...*looks down to see who he is gazing at and looks at Peh-yan* And you're ugly. Now get back to work *grabs a lovesick Peh-yan by the hoodie to get him to go to the meeting*
Chapter 853: Enjoy your murder charge
Taiju: If I get pushed into a pool this summer, I'm not swimming back up. Enjoy your murder charge. Now everybody's summer is ruined.
Chapter 854: Speak for yourself
Have I said I love how high Pah-chin's self-esteem is so high in my incorrect quotes? This guy needs more love<3
Peh-yan: If we were the fashion police we'd have to throw ourselves in jail
Pah-chin: Speak for yourself
Chapter 855: Help
Kakuchou: "29-34 Give a particular ecosystem and explain how could it be protected."
Izana: Forests, stop cutting down trees and don't hold gender reveal parties anywhere near them.
Chapter 856: I'm a LOT annoyed
Takemichi: Look, I know you’re a little annoyed right now—
Naoto: Oh, I’m so sorry I gave you that impression. I’m a LOT annoyed.
Chapter 857: That's the point
Chifuyu: *gives a bouquet to Kazutora*
Kazutora: You know I'm allergic.
Chifuyu: That's the point.
Chapter 858: How do people get addicted to gambling?
Koko: How do people get addicted to gambling? I just lost $5, and I'm already planning to blow up the casino and everyone in it.
Chapter 859: Not many could say that
Takuya: I mean, I get it, I guess. He's your first girlfriend or whatever.
Senju: He's not just my first girlfriend. He is the best girlfriend!
Senju: I mean, think about it. I'm dating Yamagishi Kazushi of all people!
Takuya: Yeah...On purpose... *under his breath* Not many could say that.
Chapter 860: Zero interest
*Y/N spots Inui in the library and walks over*
Y/N: Well, well, well. What do we have here?
Inui: Zero interest.
Chapter 861: Don't be stingy
Rindou: I'll give you my left over fruit roll up if you write my 2000 word English paper for me.
*Ran seeing this exchange*
Ran: I'll give you 100 doll-
Y/N: Don't be stingy.
Chapter 862: I hate being a single father
Takeomi: Do I know anything about children? No. Should I have picked up a book about parenting? Probably, yes.
Takeomi: Where was I going with this?
Y/N: No clue.
Sanzu: You were scolding us for drinking beer with Waka-nii.
Senju: What the hell, Haru-nii?!
Sanzu: We both know he’d be more upset if he found out again tomorrow.
Y/N & Senju: Fair point.
Takeomi: I hate being a single father.
Wakasa: I could help you with that!
Chapter 863: What are your intentions with Haru?
If Sanzu also remembers what happened and him & Shin get really close be like:
Shinichiro: Oh, hey Takeomi! Senju! What can I do for you?
Senju: What are your intentions with Haru-nii?
Chapter 864: You're Shinichiro's favorite
Baji: You're Shinichiro's favorite, you know that, right?
Mikey: I am LITERALLY not, but okay.
Baji: Yeah? Call him a bitch right now.
Mikey: Wha- I don't, - I don't feel like it
Mikey: I- Fine. Hey, Shin-nii! In case you forgot, you're a bitch!
Shinichiro, reading a magazine, only glaring a little bit: Hn.
Baji: Okay. Hey, Shin-nii? You're kind of a jerk.
Shinichiro, immediately standing up: What did you say, Baji Keisuke?!
Chapter 865: I think I pulled a muscle
Takemichi: I think I pulled a muscle.
Chifuyu: Takemichi, You can't pull what you dont have.
Chapter 866: I don't sweat
Hasegawa: I don't sweat.
Hina: Everyone sweats.
Takemichi: Not Hasegawa. She never sweats.
Hina: What do you mean, "she never sweats"?
Hasegawa: Sweating is gross, so I don't do it.
Chapter 867: Do not come over to my house
Yasuda: Do not come over to my house.
Yasuda: If the house is on fire you may knock once.
Yasuda: If I do not answer, assume I set the fire and want to burn to death.
Chapter 868: Must watch
Mikey: Oh your hit TV show is a "must watch"? Big deal. I was a must watch when I was still in diapers. I had to be watched for years.
Chapter 869: So it seems
Mikey: Murder seems to be the best course of option.
South, nodding sagely: So it seems
Senju, sighs: I’ll get it *steps off chair, climbs over bed, and squashes spider on the floor*
Chapter 870: Desperate housewives
Karen: Doesn’t that plan seem a little underhanded?
Y/N's mom: Well, desperate times call for desperate housewives.
Y/N's mom: I mean measures…I said measures
Chapter 871: That's for me and my girlfriend to know
Makoto: You tell ghost stories after sex?
Takemichi: That's for me and my girlfriend to know
Chapter 872: Hello, spirits
Makoto: Hello, spirits. We're here with the good vibes
Chapter 873: Guys, I'm too high
Hanma: Hey birches I'm smoking double blunts at white castle yeeee hAw
*1 hour later*
Hanma: Guys, I'm too high
Chapter 874: Bitch
South: Saying “bitch” not as a misogynist, but as a part of the bitch community myself
Chapter 875: But at the end, they always had each other's shells
Baji: I never had a brother, but I know 4 guys who did. And they would have fights and squabbles. But at the end, they always had each other's shells.
Shinichiro: .......Are you talking about the ninja turtles?
Baji: Of course, I'm talking about the ninja turtles!
Chapter 876: If you can't....
Koko, Yamagishi & Y/N: If you can’t beat them, join them. If you can’t join them, bribe them. If you can’t bribe them, blackmail them.
Chapter 877: Do you wanna talk?
Yuzuha, doing a crossword: I need a 3 letter word for disappointment.
Hina: Do you wanna talk?
Chapter 878: Send a dick pic
Peh-yan: Quick guys! How do I make the girl I like fall in love with me?
Pah-chin: Send a dick pic
Pah-chin: NOT TO ME YOU FUCKING IDIOT
Chapter 879: I lost my queen too
Senju, posting on Instagram: London I know how you feel... I lost my queen too.
Takeomi: What the fuck is she talking about?
Sanzu: She and Emma had an argument over waffles and pancakes being the same.
Chapter 880: I HATE SANO MANJIROU!
Mikey, lost in a crowd of people having lost the others: Okay... what to do... hmmm... I HATE SANO MANJIROU!
Baji, from the right*: HOW DARE YOU! WHERE ARE YOU! I WILL PHYSICALLY FIGHT YOU!
Senju, climbing a lamp-post: WHERE ARE YOU AT YOU EVIL FIEND! COME AND FIGHT ME FOR MIKEY'S HONOUR!
Takeomi, from outside of the crowd: FaLsEHoOD!
Emma, perched on a table: HEY! ONLY I AM ALLOWED TO TALK SHIT ABOUT HIM! I'M GONNA FIGHT YOU!
Izana: Someone dares talk ill about Mikey without me?! I swear I will end them and NO ONE SHALL FIND THE BODY!
Shinichiro: WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY BROTHER YOU *starts to swear angrily in tagalog*
Mikey: ...oh shit.
Benkei, calmly sips his drink while walking up behind Mikey, dragging a disgruntled Sanzu along: Do I need to get a kid leash for you all?
Chapter 881: Yeah, probably
*police sirens in the distance*
Takemichi, who has done nothing wrong: They're coming for me
Hanma, currently wanted for pick-pocketing, aggravated assault, identity theft, credit card fraud, and arson: *sipping smoothie* Yeah, probably
Chapter 882: You had a crush on Sanzu??
Sanzu: Hanagaki, isn’t it weird that you had a crush on every person in this room?
Takemichi: Well, maybe a littl-
Hina: You had a crush on Sanzu??
Takemichi, blushing: Yeah, when we first met…
Mikey: Wait, you had a crush on me? How embarrassing
Takemichi, annoyed: I have a crush on you. We are literally dating, you’re holding my hand right now
Chapter 883: Oh, come here baby
Takeomi: If anyone is feeling anxious or worried or even if you just want to chat, please, please do not come crying to me.
Takeomi: Oh, come here baby.
Chapter 884: Alibi and bail money?
South: Christmas lights?
Mochi: Thermos of hot cocoa?
Shion: Santa suits?
Ran: Alibi and bail money?
Kakuchou: Check- wait, WHAT?!
Chapter 885: There it is
Sanzu: *forces Takemichi to go through a door before him*
Takemichi: That was uncharacteristically nice of you
Sanzu: I can slam it in your face next time if you want
Takemichi: There it is
Chapter 886: Holy shit
Takemichi: Holy shit, Fuyu, do you know what this means?!
Chifuyu: Michi, whenever you start doing this, nobody knows what you mean.
Chapter 887: Where is he?
Hina: Where is he? Where's Kisaki?
Hanma: Hmm, you mean I'm not good enough for you? You're hurting my feelings.
Chapter 888: My wife, the...
I think Senju referring to Yamagishi as her girlfriend/wife and Yamagishi referring to her as his boyfriend/husband may have become a headcanon
*playing a board game*
Yamagishi: You ready?
Yamagishi, reading a card: "Mention three famous historical monuments"
Senju: My wife, the...
Yamagishi: That! You won!
Chapter 889: Japan's next top model
Mitsuya, on the group chat: There are five frogs staring at me right now
Yuzuha: But only one can be Japan's next top model
Chapter 890: Twat
Ran, fancy wrist movement: Do you ever want to just call someone a twat without them knowing?
Shion: Yeah... at times.
Ran, chuckles: Well, just say "there we are then" to everything they say...
Shion: *confused noise*
Ran: Because the first letters of "There We Are Then" is T, W, A, T which spells out TWAT.
Chapter 891: I KNEW IT!!
Yuzuha: I love you. You're the best big brother. Did I ever tell you congratulations on the SATs? Are you doing something different with your hair? It looks nice. Th-
Taiju: What do you want?
Yuzuha: Nothing. Can't I tell you how much I love and appreciate you?
Taiju: *sips soda* Uh-huh. sure
*5 minutes later*
Yuzuha: ...Taiju, will you drive me and Senju to the movies...?
Taiju: I KNEW IT!!
Chapter 892: As a toaster, I-
Shinchiro: Look, as a straight man, I think-
Akane: Wait, what did you just call yourself?
Shinchiro: …a straight man?
Akane: Oh, so we’re just saying things now?
Akane: As a toaster, I-
Shinchiro: Shut up Sirius.
Chapter 893: Arm wrestling
Luna: Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look in each other's eyes
Chapter 894: I hate you more
Wakasa: I hate you.
Benkei: I hate you more.
Wakasa: Oh, is it? I hate you so much that I would spend my life with you just to bully you.
Benkei: AH Yeah, PROOF ME!
Wakasa: HOME WITH ME I SHOW
Shinichiro: ...What happened?
Takeomi: Sit down, they've been like this for 1 hour
Chapter 895: Fool
Takemichi, dejected and pathetic: I'm going to make a fool of myself
Baji, confident and powerful: I'm going to make a fool of myself
Chapter 896: They are talking about my Tora
Baji: Have you ever met someone that was sunshine in human form?
Chapter 897: It's Hanma
Baji: Is he acting strange?
Choji: It's Hanma, who can tell?
Chapter 898: Burned my eggs and got mad, sorry lol
Chome: And when we finally kill the gods neither hell nor heaven will be waiting for them because they created those to imprison us
Chome: Burned my eggs and got mad, sorry lol
Chapter 899: As friends
Takeomi is ready to kill Shin or just forget him and fall for other person
Shinichiro: You know, I think you're really cute.
Takeomi: You wanna go out some time?
Shinichiro: I meant as a friend, Takeomi.
Takeomi: Oh, sorry.
Shinichiro: But I do love you.
Shinichiro: As a friend, Takeomi!
Shinichiro: Let's have sex later, okay?
Shinichiro: As FRIENDS, Takeomi. Geez, such a pervert...
Chapter 900: Save that money for our wedding
Baji, holding out money: Here’s $300 to break up with Tora.
Hanma: Save that money for our wedding.
Chapter 901: Life is like Senju
Wakasa: Life is like Senju. It's short.
Senju: I can make it even shorter for you if you call me short one more time.
Chapter 902: I will give you $100
Yuzuha, to Hina: If Senju doesn't say "I'm King of the world" within an hour on that boat, I will give you $100
Senju, within 5 minutes of getting on the boat: I'M KING OF THE WORLD!!!
Chapter 903: When are you next free?
Baji: When are you next free?
Mikey: I'm forever incarcerated in my own personal flesh prison so I am never truly 'free'. but I don't have plans on Friday
Chapter 904: If you ignore that I'm the latest
Mikey, entering a meeting: Alright Bonten, I'll ignore that some of you are late
Mikey: If you ignore that I'm the latest
Chapter 905: Hanma, you're the salt of the earth
Choji: Hanma, you're the salt of the earth.
Hanma: Thanks, Choji.
Choji: I meant "scum" of the earth.
Chapter 906: Oddly specific
Masaru: And there's no repercussion for this?
Kiyomasa: I will not punch you.
Masaru: Oddly specific.
Chapter 907: There is no such thing as ghosts
Not sure if I already use this one or not
Sanzu: I saw a ghost can I sleep with you?
Takeomi: There's no such thing as ghosts.
Sanzu: Are you sure...?
Takeomi: ....Well now I'm not, get over here!
Chapter 908: I would never have guessed
Chifuyu: You CANNNOT tell me what to do. You're not the boss of me!
Ryusei: I...told you to "sleep well".
Chifuyu: And I will not.
Chifuyu: I'm sorry. I haven't slept in 2 days. I have a problem.
Ryusei: I would never have guessed.
Chapter 909: That's your bones
Chome: Do you ever shake your leg because there's a rock in it?
Choji: That's your bones
Chome. Everyday, I learn a little more
Chapter 910: Oh, so you're not dressing up? Cool!
Shion: So, what are you guys gonna be for Halloween??
Rindou: The love of your life
Shion: Oh, so you're not dressing up? Cool!
Chapter 911: Did you ever offend a god?
This is based on something from Genshin Impact
Draken: Did you ever offend a god?
Sanzu: Well...we made fun of Shinichiro
Baji: We made fun of Takeomi's questionable finance capability
Mikey: And we did win a fight against Wakasa that ended with him doing something really embarassing
Sanzu/Baji/Mikey: Does that count?
Chapter 912: Big sister
This also comes from Genshin Impact
Mana/Luna, about Hina/Emma: Wow...they are so kind and sweet, just like a big sister! Nothing like the 'let's use violence to deal with this' misters.
Chapter 913: I put on a maid dress
911 Dispatcher: Hello 911, what’s your emergency?
Sanzu: Mucho fainted and is bleeding from the nose
911 Dispatcher: An ambulance is on its way, what were the events leading up to this?
911 Dispatcher: I can't quite hear you can you repeat that
Sanzu: I put on a maid dress
Chapter 914: You can sleep on the stove
Ryusei: Where are we going?
Rindou: My place. You can sleep on the couch.
Ryusei: I am not sleeping on the couch!
Rindou: Fine, you can sleep on the stove.
Chapter 915: No, he has a foot
Mikey: Open the door!
Emma: I’m busy working on a project.
Mikey: I need to talk to you!
Emma: Sorry, door’s locked-
Mikey: Now it’s not...
Hina: He has the key?
Emma: No, he has a foot...
Chapter 916: Thanks you, Haru-nii
*Emma tries to untangle her hair*
Sanzu: May I comb it for you?
Sanzu: I want to comb it for you
*Emma takes a seat as Sanzu tenderly combs her tangled locks, Emma hums in contentment*
Sanzu: How does it look?
Emma: Amazing. Thank you, Haru-nii.
Chapter 917: Naoto, there's been a murder
Chifuyu: Naoto, there's been a murder
Naoto: Oh, good. I was almost going to have time to relax, thank god you saved me.
Chapter 918: It's sexless
Shion, at 3 am: Izana? It's pretty fucked up that we assume that Wall-E is a boy. It's a robot. Izana? Wake up, Izana. Listen. It's sexless
Chapter 919: Why would I be threatened?
Takemichi: Are you really so threatened by me that you'd rather have a fight than just listen to me?
Mikey: I'm not threatened, you're threatened
Takemichi: Why would I be threatened?
Mikey: Because I'm threatening you
Chapter 920: It's so hot outside
Ran: It's so hot outside.
Kisaki: Well maybe you shouldn't have worn all black.
Ran: This is a summer shade of black.
Chapter 921: We're going to die in here
Hina: What the fuck? The door's been locked from the outside
Takemichi: We seem to be trapped in one of those "can't leave until you have sex" rooms
Mikey, unlacing his doublet: Okay, no big deal then
Sanzu: Wait, uh, the sign says, Welcome to the "can't leave until you are emotionally honest with each other" room
Sanzu: We're going to die in here
Chapter 922: I'm the total opposite of an attention-seeker
Chifuyu: You're an attention-seeker.
Mikey, gasp: I am not!
Mikey: I'm the total opposite of an attention-seeker. I'm the best there ever is, the great Invincible Mikey do not- hey don't look away when I'm talking here.
Chapter 923: You might change your mind when you get older!
Baji: I kind of love telling people I don’t want kids.
Baji: Because then they hit me with that line, You might change your mind when you get older!
Baji: And then I get to respond with, B*tch, I was not put on this planet to raise children!
Baji: I was put on this planet to raise hell!
Senju: It’s worth mentioning that he does this unprompted. No one looks at him and thinks, ah yes, this one should be responsible for children, unless they need their sanity checked.
Chapter 924: HE TRIPPED ME!
Sanzu: How far did you fall for Mikey?
Koko: Fell? Who said I fell?! HE TRIPPED ME!
Chapter 925: What did we learn?
Chome: So, uh... What did we learn?
Choji: I don’t know. Nothing?
Emma: I guess we learned not to do it again. I’m fucked if I know what we did, though.
Chapter 926: I think we should start a cult
Sanzu: So, what are we doing this summer?
Baji/Mikey: I think we should start a cult
Emma: Reasonable ideas?
Senju: No, put the cult on the maybe pile
Chapter 927: Daiquiris
Mucho: When Smiley has daiquiris he gets really into how beautiful he is.
Smiley: Hey, I dare you guys to dare us to make out.
Pah-chin: Hey Smiley, you know that’s a mirror, right?
Chapter 928: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween!
Mana: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment!
Luna: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!
Chapter 929: Emma is finally getting him better clothes
Emma, to Takemichi: Get in loser, we’re going shopping.
Chapter 930: Until I fell in love with you
Look, I know I said I don't feel comfortable to make y/n x character but I only used y/n because I was thinking of a friend's TR oc.
Y/N: Until I fell in love with you, I thought my attraction to women was purely physical.
Akane: So you were gay... and then you realized that you were Even More Gay.
Chapter 931: It makes me hope
Ran: Please don't look at me like that
Mitsuya: Like what?
Ran: Like you could love me. Like you want to learn how. It makes me hope
Chapter 932: Can you teach me how?
Shion: Could you be any more annoying?
Shion: Can you teach me how?
Chapter 933: We didn't have sex!
Wakasa: I’d really like it if you guys didn’t always have sex when I’m in the next room!
Shinichiro: what? We didn’t have sex!
Wakasa: Don’t you lie to me, I can tell by Takeomi’s hair! You are so lazy, can’t you get on top for once?!
Chapter 934: Do you want my pom-pom's too?
Mikey, wearing Emma's cheer uniform: It's not what it looks like!
Mikey: Okay, it is but-
Emma: Do you want my pom-pom's too?
Chapter 935: *leaves*
Shinichiro: Are you going out to get in trouble again?
Mikey: Shin-nii, I’m not going to lie to you.
Chapter 936: That sentence started out so normal...
Baji: I've been eating peanut M&M's in hopes that if a cannibal eats me and is allergic to peanuts, I can get my revenge.
Ryusei: That sentence started out so normal...
Chapter 937: Takemichi the first and last time he time leaped
Takemichi: Accidentally went and got myself killed yesterday but the gods won’t let me die so I’m back.
Chapter 938: She will remember your heart
Chifuyu, to Kisaki: She will remember your heart when men are fairy tales, and books are written by rabbits.
Chapter 939: The “no judging” clause of our friendship
Ran: I’m invoking the “no judging” clause of our friendship
Kisaki: Oh my God, what did you do?
Chapter 940: How else am I supposed to react?
Sanzu: How come you stopped calling me stuff like “darling”?
Mucho: You don’t remember what happened last time? I called you "baby" and you passed out.
Sanzu: How else am I supposed to react?
Chapter 941: It's not blood
Kisaki: Don't touch that, it's blood.
Hina: It's not blood.
Kisaki: Enjoy your hepatitis.
Chapter 942: If I die
Chifuyu, to Takemichi: If I die, you better be right behind me, or I will haunt your kitchen cabinets until the day you die
Chapter 943: That actually sounds pretty good
Benkei: Now I'm going to go home, take a long nap and wait for the bruises to show up on my wrists.
Wakasa: That actually sounds pretty good. I'll come along, it's been a long time since we've napped together
Chapter 944: Are you Jane Austen now?
Takemichi, about Hina: She's a charming woman
Naoto: A 'charming woman'? Are you Jane Austen now?
Chapter 945: Shin every time before he goes to flirt with a woman
Shinichiro: How do I look?
Takeomi: Like an idiot.
Chapter 946: If at first you didn't succeed
Naoto, to Takemichi: If at first you don't succeed, then maybe you should do it the way I told you to in the beginning.
Chapter 947: I don't believe this
Wakasa: If I tell you, there's absolutely no way you're going to believe me.
Mikey: I don't believe you.
Wakasa: What did I just tell you?
Mikey: That I wouldn't believe you. But that's got nothing to do with my not believing you.
Wakasa: I know that, because I know why you don't believe me.
Sanzu, facepalm: I don't believe this.
Chapter 948: You can't fool me, Y/N
Takemichi: You can't fool me, Y/N. I still don't trust you.
Y/N: Oh, Takemichi. You don't have to trust me... *whispers* You just have to love me.
Chapter 949: I like my men tall, dark, and handsome.
Shinichiro: I like my men tall, dark, and handsome.
Y/N: ...Can I substitute more 'tall' for those other two things?
Chapter 950: Go to the nurse's office
Y/N: Go to the nurse's office.
Hina: The blood runnin’ down your head ain’t a good enough reason for you?
Chapter 951: Being smart
Kazutora: Being smart never stopped me from being a complete fucking idiot
Chapter 952: Think fast!
Baji: Think fast! *throws a ball at Chonbo*
Chonbo: *catches it* No. *pockets the ball*
Baji: Think fast! *throws a ball at Kazutora*
Kazutora: *catches it and throws it back like a fastball*
Baji: oh sHIT--
Baji: Think fast! *throws a ball at Chome*
Chome: *gets hit in the face*
Chome: ... *sobs*
Chonbo and Kazutora: *appearing out of nowhere* WHAT DID YOU DO?!
Chapter 953: She is very close to doing exactly that
Mikey, at 2am: I heard a woman strangled her husband to death a few days ago. Can you imagine just snapping like that?
Senju, laying next to him trying to sleep: Yes
Chapter 954: Of course I'll be there
Hanma: Matsuno, when I die, I don't care who else is at my funeral, as long as you're there.
Chifuyu: Of course I'll be there. The murderer always shows up to throw off the cops.
Chapter 955: Annoy him into a confession?
Naoto: What are you going to do? Annoy him into a confession?
*five minutes later*
Makoto, with a guitar: 3, 2, 1. AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Chapter 956: It's 4 am, what the fuck-
Senju: I just calculated, I'm 56 kilograms.
Senju: And I just ate 800 grams of ravioli
Senju: Like a whole fucking can.
Senju: And so I'm just a little over 1% ravioli :D
Benkei: It's 4 am, what the fuck-
Chapter 957: Give you up or let you down
Sanzu: By asking Hanagaki to hand you a copy of the movie “Up,” you create a paradox wherein he either has to give you up or let you down.
Chapter 958: Y/N has friends
Wakasa: Believe me, Takemichi. You don't want to end up like your sibling. Without, you know, any friends.
Y/N: Hey! I do have friends.
Shinichiro: Y/N has friends. There's Akane...
Shinichiro: I shouldn't have made that sound like I was gonna have a list.
Chapter 959: What would happen if I die?
Mikey: What would happen if I die?
Baji: You would have a funeral.
Mikey: I meant what would you do?
Baji: I... would go... to the funeral.
Chapter 960: Motherfucker doesn't start with a "B"
Baji: Shin-nii! Shin-nii! Take-nii called me a bad word.
Shinichiro: What was it?
Baji: It starts with a "B"-
Takeomi: Motherfucker doesn't start with a "B".
Chapter 961: Chick-fil-a wants me dead
Chifuyu: Booty shorts that say, "chick-fil-a wants me dead".
Ryusei: Wouldn't it be shorter to say "gay"?
Chifuyu: It's not about efficiency, it's about sending a message.
Chapter 962: It's pretty long
Shinichiro: *causually strolling through the house*
Hina, Emma and Mikey: *in Mikey's room together*
Hina: I can't believe you're actually allowing me to touch it.
Emma: Well if you're gonna do this you have to, so...
Hina: It's pretty long
Shinichiro: *freezes* Wth?
Mikey: Yeah, yeah whatever
Hina: Yours too Emma
Emma: Sorry, I guess that's my bad
Hina: They're so soft
Mikey: Can you just stop touching it and get this over with?
Emma: Mikey! Don't be so hard on her!
Emma: Thank you for doing this again Hina
Hina: Eh it's no problem. I was bored so I thought why not? I'll just have be careful since this is my first time.
Mikey: So you mean to tell me you've never done this before?
Hina: Let's not get into the details
Shinichiro: NOT ON MY WATCH!
Shinichiro: *slams door open to see Hina in middle of cutting Mikey's hair with Emma next to her*
Shinichiro: Oh thank goodness
Chapter 963: Anxiety!
Taiju: Are you going to make sure nobody picks on your brother?
Yuzuha, holding Hakkai's hand: ..mhmm, yeah
Taiju: You're gonna stick up for him?
Taiju: What is- What's the matter with him? Do you remember what it's called?
Taiju: And if kids pick on your brother, what are you gonna do?
Yuzuha: KILL THEM!!!
Chapter 964: You've failed
Teacher: You've failed two tests.
Baji: You've failed to educate me twice now.
Chapter 965: Only every time I see you
Takemichi: Have I done something to offend you?
Kisaki: Only every time I see you.
Chapter 966: We're drowning!
Mikey & Senju: Help! we're drowning!
South: Calm down. We’re only in six feet of water *grabbing the duo up with a teasing grin*
Mikey: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!
Chapter 967: Tora's mind after he accidentally killed Shinichiro
Kazutora, as he is having a breakdown over accidentally killing Shinichiro: 'You mustn't blame yourself. Even though it is all your fault.'
Chapter 968: Believe in yourself or whatever
Choji: I don't know, just...believe in yourself or whatever.
Kazutora: Believe in myself? The same person who got me into this mess?
Chapter 969: Like, what's so funny?
Shinichiro: I don't understand why people laugh by themselves. Like, what's so funny?
Takeomi: Bitch, it's a private joke between me and me!
Chapter 970: I love the term 'partners'
Chifuyu: I love the term 'partners'. Are we dating? Are we robbing a bank? Are we the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies and are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit? Who knows! *looking up at you as he hugs your midsection*
Takemichi, ruffling his hair as he lays on his lap: '...I wanna marry this idiot so much'
Chapter 971: Evil
Mikey, Ran and Wakasa: Evil.
Chapter 972: No offense to me or anything
Sanzu: No offense to me or anything, but what the fuck am I actually doing?
Chapter 973: This is Shinichiro
Shinichiro: Relationship goals: having one.
Chapter 974: You don't
Hakkai: How do I unsubscribe from anxiety?
Chapter 975: Waka is a simp(so am I)
Wakasa, looking at Benkei: Sometimes your tits just gotta be out.
Chapter 976: ShinKey when the dark impulses take control
Dark Impulses Shinichiro/Mikey: I don’t need therapy, I need to kill people, killing people would fix me, being covered in blood will make me so stable and normal, I promise.
Chapter 977: I'm not a writer
Emma: I’m not a writer, by the way, I just black out sometimes and wake up to words on paper.
Chapter 978: Consider instead shutting the fuck up
Senju: If you ever feel the need to position yourself as “a normal person” versus “the freaks”, consider instead shutting the fuck up.
Chapter 979: With his body?
Izana: Ran, have you ever been cheated on?
Ran: Mmm, yes.
Izana: What did you do?
Ran: With his body?
Chapter 980: If they don't find out probably none
Baji: Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think I will be in for stealing someone’s cat?
Chapter 981: Naoto still asks how Takemichi survived for so long
Takemichi: *takes a sip of milk and gags*
Takemichi: Oh my god, is this expired?
Takemichi: *takes another sip of milk*
Chapter 982: H+D
Draken: I see you have taken graffiti as a hobby.
Hakkai: Well, I had to do it so that my one true love could find his way back to me.
Draken: Is that why you write "H+D" everywhere? What does it mean?
Hakkai: Hopelessly dense.
Chapter 983: Going to church and praying for forgiveness
Yuzuha: You've heard of Netflix, now get ready for...
Yuzuha: IMAX and climax.
Mitsuya: Blockbuster and Cockthruster.
Hakkai: Hulu and Woohoo.
Y/N: Amazon Prime and Sexy Time.
Taiju: Going to church and praying for forgiveness.
Chapter 984: You wanted this
*at a party*
Shinichiro: *sitting on Benkei's lap*
Takeomi: *looking at Wakasa*
Takeomi: Why don't we do stuff like that?
Wakasa: *pulls Takeomi onto his lap*
*a few minutes later*
Takeomi: Do you seriously have a boner right now?
Wakasa: You wanted this.
Chapter 985: You use emoji’s like a straight person
Emma: You use emoji’s like a straight person.
Hanma: That’s literally the worst thing anyone has ever said about me.
Chapter 986: You're kinda ugly
Osanai, ordering coffee: I’d like a light roast.
Kisaki: You're kinda ugly.
Chapter 987: Why is this so hard?
Benkei: *struggling with a puzzle*
Benkei: Why is this so hard?
Wakasa: You want to know what else is hard?
Benkei: This puzzle board I'm about to beat you with.
Chapter 988: I can do anything I put my mind to
Baji: I can do anything I put my mind to. I once figured out Mitsuya's phone number just by choosing random numbers.
Chapter 989: Impulsive thoughts
Yuzuha: "Letting my intrusive thoughts win and dying my hair blue" that is an IMPULSIVE thought. If I let my intrusive thoughts win I would be in fucking prison.
Chapter 990: Y/N, I'm your brother
Y/N: How'd you get this number?!
Mucho: Y/N, I'm your brother. I pay the bills, for God's sake, I know the phone number.
Chapter 991: What would my brother say if he saw me right now?
Senju, depressed over her feelings for Emma: What would my brother say if he saw me right now?
Wakasa, referring to his relationship with Takeomi: Probably, "Oh my God, there's two of them. WHERE IS ALL THE SUPERVISION???"
Wakasa: Takeomi's my supervision, so I got a loophole.
Senju: But isn't it only logical that YOU would be MY supervision?
Wakasa: ...Well, then you were always gonna be doomed.
Chapter 992: Handsome contest
Akane: We just left Wakasa and Shinichiro, and they said they were going home to have a handsome contest.
BD Members: *stare at her with a questioning look*
Benkei/Takeomi, sighing: It's where they try on different outfits and see who's more handsome.
Chapter 993: I have to tell him. I have to apologize, right?
Chifuyu: I had a fight with Baji.
Kazutora, snorts: And what else is new?
Chifuyu: I just realized I was the one who was wrong.
Ryusei: Oh my God...
Chifuyu: I have to tell him. I have to apologize, right?
Ryusei: Are you KIDDING?! You have a 100 - 0 streak going for you! You've been bowling a perfect game! You've made every foul shot! You scored the touchdown every time! If you admit you're wrong now, HE WILL NEVER LET YOU LIVE IT DOWN!
Chifuyu: Well, it doesn't mean I won't be wrong next time -
Kazutora: -Fuyu, this is BAJI KEISUKE we're talking about!
Chifuyu: ...That's a good point.
Chapter 994: I’ll give you $500 to stop dating my brother
Baji: I’ll give you $500 to stop dating my brother
Kazutora: Did you take the money?
Hanma: Of course I did
Hanma: We need to start saving for our wedding
Chapter 995: Kys
Hina: *texting Emma* I’m leaving rn
Emma: Keep yourself safe
Chapter 996: Maybe I already am
Mucho: Mikey would burn this world to the ground just to get what he wants. Don’t let him make you the villain.
Sanzu: Maybe I already am.
Chapter 997: I'm not going back to jail!
Hanma: Look at the buns on that guy!
Shion: *lying on the floor, covered in hamburger buns*
Smiley: This is the comedy police! The joke's too funny!
Hanma: I'm not going back to jail!
Chapter 998: Sometimes I add rainbow sprinkles!
Senju: Coffee is disgusting! I only drink the finest leaves!
South: Tea is just pompous water, real adults drink coffee!
Mikey: Sometimes I add rainbow sprinkles!
Chapter 999: I don't give a fuck
South: I don't give a fuck
South: Are you cold, love? You need a blanket? My jacket? Cup of tea? A hug? Come over here, let's cuddle.
Chapter 1000: Oh, no reason
Mucho: So...Izana, how are you liking our new kitten?
Izana, holding Emma the cat: She's alright, I guess. Still don't need her.
Mucho: You sure about that?
Izana, petting the cat while she sleeps: Of course I'm sure, why?
Mucho, watching Izana cuddling the cat and soothing her: Oh, no reason
Chapter 1001: Hysterical
Takeomi: The fact that I'm legally an adult is hysterical
Chapter 1002: I'm taking away language until yall learn how to act
Mitsuya: I'm taking away language until yall learn how to act
Peh-yan: Bunga unga bunga bunga
Smiley: Tower of babel
Baji: Bbj. ajjsbf. lalsbfnjd. ghy.
Chapter 1003: Being married is great
Takemichi: Everybody lied to me when I got engaged. Being married is great.
Takemichi: There is a whole other person in my house and they love me.
Chapter 1004: I don't think Shin is going to fall for that-
Akane: Shin called me old yesterday so I changed my lock screen from him to an old photo of Andrew Garfield.
Mochi: Really, Akane? I don't think Shin is going to fall for that-
Shinichiro: *holding Akane's phone up* WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?
Chapter 1005: Ha, simp
Emma, in a cemetery: I call upon the spirits of this cemetery for guidance…
Emma: How do I make Ryuuguji 'Draken' Ken realize my feelings for him and ask me out?
Shinichiro: *responding from beyond the grave through an ouija board* ha, simp
Chapter 1006: Are you tired?
Hina: *explaining something she saw on tv to Takemichi* are you tired? I can stop now.
Takemichi, stifling his yawns: No no, pls continue *continues to stare at her lovingly*
Kisaki: OH MY GOD, CAN YOU STOP TALKING I AM TRYING TO SLEEP HERE. SHUT UP.
Chapter 1007: And the other 4?
Senju: Guess what, guys. We officially have reached 50
Emma: 50? 50 what?
Senju: Baji has officially crashed 50 vehicles in the past decade.
Sanzu: 46 of those were his.
Emma: And the other 4?
Sanzu: They belonged to his other friends.
Mikey: And I'M the one that's not allowed to drive???
Chapter 1008: I can't fucking take it anymore
Hina, standing perfectly still, is not visibly stressed and appears normal: I can't fucking take it anymore
Chapter 1009: Your lips are moving
Kakuchou: You wanna know how I can tell when you’re lying?
Kakuchou: Your lips are moving.
Chapter 1010: I was kicked out of the chess club today
Senju: I was kicked out of chess club today
Takeomi: How come?
Senju: Well, I was playing against Baji and he looks really funny when he's frustrated so every time he wasn't looking I added a piece to the board.
Takeomi: That's it?
Senju: By the end of it I had 4 queens 6 castles and 3 kings.
Senju: He didn't notice until he had taken 3 of my queens off
Chapter 1011: ...Hina, I think we should just marry each other
Chifuyu, with messy clothes and a cat on his arms while looking at a worried Kazutora: Oh, this? It's nothing, I just fell from the fifth floor to catch the cat and make sure he didn't end up hurt
Takemichi, looking beat up and with bandages around his hands: Oh, it's nothing! I was just beat up a bit and got my hand stabbed, it doesn't even hurt
*Tora and Hina, on their weekly, almost daily, hang outs where they talk about their suicidal and accidents prone boyfriends*
Tora: ...Hina, I think we should just marry each other
Hina: Agreed! If we marry Michi and Fuyu we will probably end up being widows before we turn 30.
Tora: So, who should wear the dress and who should wear the suit between us?
Hina: Hmm, how about both of us wear dresses? We would look amazing!
Tora: So true! I will tell Takashi to make a wedding dress for me too then!
Hina: Let's continue planning our wedding!
Tora: Of course!
Chifuyu/Takemichi, who had decided to spy on their lovers: ....
Chapter 1012: I think I'm depressed
Mikey: I think I'm depressed.
Kakuchou: That's good, that means you're paying attention.
Chapter 1013: Shiba siblings
Hakkai: Oh wow! The closet space in this room is huge!
Hakkai: You could fit like– three average-sized male bodies in here.
Hakkai, tearing up: It's perfect.
Taiju: I think this room is inadequate. If you multiplied cow's surface area by 16, she would not fit in here.
Taiju: It is unacceptable.
Yuzuha, at a crime scene that took place inside a mansion: The infrastructure of this place is impressive! Especially the main hall. I'd live here!
Yuzuha: It has enough space to fit Taiju's shark at least 4 times!
Naoto: His-his what? Taiju's what??
Chapter 1014: -thony
Y/N, trying to get a statement about an attack nearby the house to locate and arrest Mikey: And what's your name young man?
Y/N: ... Uh... Okay and you?
Y/N, squinting: Right... And you Miss?
Y/N: Mhm... Let me guess you lot are-
Y/N: Sir please tell your siblings it's wrong to obstruct an investigation.
Shinichiro: Yes, children, please. Behave.
Y/N: Thank you. What's your name sir?
Y/N: I QUIT, THATS IT, I NO LONGER WISH TO EXIST ON THIS PLANET.
Mikey: *high fives Shinichiro*
Chapter 1015: No wonder you are so bitter
South: What's that?
South: What's chocolate?
Shion: Candy. Do they not have candy where you're from?
South: Yeah. Grapes, nuts.
Shion: No wonder you're so bitter.
Chapter 1016: The only constant is chaos
Mikey: The universe is cold and unfeeling. The only constant is chaos.
Draken: Was that place out of dorayakis and taiyakis again?
Chapter 1017: Yeah, so, I burned down that building
Rindou: Yeah, so, I burned down that building
Rindou: And I'd love to be sorry for that, but we all know I've done much, much worse
Chapter 1018: I can get a body in four minutes
Shion: We can't just attach a rope to the switch and, like, pull on it from a mile away? Maybe while enjoying a light snack?
Koko: The switch has sensors. It will read whether a person is touching it or not.
Hanma: Does it have to be a live person?
Ran: No, he's right. If we attach a body to the switch...
Mikey: Where are we going to get a body in four minutes?
Sanzu: I can get a body in four minutes.
Mochi: This is some pretty morbid brainstorming.
Chapter 1019: Because you can!
Mikey: What, you think you can buy me with food?
Mikey: Because you can!
Chapter 1020: No, this baby is mine now
Kazutora's Mom: Young man, please hold this while I go to the bathroom *hands Benkei a baby Kazutora and walks away*
Benkei: *holds it softly*
Kazutora's Mom: *comes back* Thanks.
Benkei, glaring at Kazutora's Mom: No, this baby is mine now
Chapter 1021: Way to just fuck me up on a Tuesday
Senju: Some of us are still ‘it’ from a childhood game of tag.
Baji: Way to just fuck me up on a Tuesday.
Chapter 1022: You're a viper husband
Akane: You're a viper husband.
Wakasa: A VIPER husband?
Akane: Anyone says the teeniest tiniest mean thing to Benkei and suddenly, ER nurses have double shifts. But you're subtle about it.
Wakasa: I- I never do that!
Akane: Oh, right. And the White Leopard broke the God Of War's jaw by pure accident.
Wakasa: KEIZO'S PASTA WAS AMAZING, AND HE HAD NO RIGHT TO SAY SHINICHIRO'S WAS BETTER! NO RIGHT!
Chapter 1023: Maybe he is, maybe he isn't
Takemichi, to Sanzu: You done pretending that I'm not the love of your life?
Chapter 1024: Because I am
Benkei: Starting to think some of you are kinds horny
Wakasa/Shinichiro/Takeomi: Because I am
Chapter 1025: I'm too lazy to go back
Draken: Baby, I'm going to the grocery store before work
*a few minutes later*
Naoto: Good morning, get me some peaches
Draken: I'll get you the heavens and the earth, the stars and the moon
Draken: But I just left and I'm too lazy to go back
Chapter 1026: It only works on Akkun
Takuya: Absolutely not.
Takuya: What did I say about batting your eyelashes at me?
Makoto, sadly: It only works on Akkun.
Chapter 1027: Yuzuha, you're my density
Draken: Just tell her, ‘you’re my destiny, girls like that’
*Mitsuya runs up to Yuzuha*
Mitsuya: Yuzuha, you are my density.
*Draken face palms himself*
Mitsuya: Sorry. You’re my destiny.
Yuzuha: *blushes* Oh *giggles*
Chapter 1028: This ain't about them
Koko, drinking some cocktail while he sunbathes: I'm living my best life
Kakuchou: ...Ran is being walked like a dog by Mikey
Koko: This ain’t about them
Chapter 1029: ...For?
Mitsuya: I need you
Yuzuha, voice cracking: F-fuck off
Chapter 1030: My mom is so petty
Y/N, looking at Emma: My mom is so petty.
Y/N: She asked my dad to do the dishes yesterday and he didn’t so tonight she served him spaghetti in an ice cream cone and said “since you don’t want to wash the dishes I won’t use any”.
Chapter 1031: Prove it
Shinichiro, drunk: Hey beautiful boy. What's your name?
Benkei: Honey, are you that drunk?
Shinichiro: *whispers* Don't call me 'honey'. Keizo's gonna be mad.
Benkei: I'm Keizo, your husband.
Shinichiro: *still drunk* Prove it. Show me your boobs!
Chapter 1032: You do?
Wakasa: I miss the age before cellphones had touchscreens.
Y/N: You do?
Wakasa: Yeah, when I'd fight with Shin, it was just so much more satisfying to slam down the receiver or snap a phone shut then to just angrily stab the "End Call" button.
Chapter 1033: I know he's having a miserable time
Yamagishi, about Akkun: I know he's having a miserable time. We have telepathy. It’s like my brain is receiving phone calls from him.
Takuya: Well, you have a bad connection. Hang up.
Yamagishi: Nuh-uh. I can sense these things. Remember when he broke his leg and I sensed it?
Makoto: That’s because you fell on him and broke it.
Chapter 1034: Every part of him, yes
Benkei: Hey Akane, have you seen Mochi?
Akane: *over her phone* Every part of him, yes
Chapter 1035: Should I call an ambulance for you then?
Mikey: I’m gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.
Chapter 1036: He can have whatever he wants, he already has my heart
Inui: I think I might have an interest in Taiju. Although I doubt he’d feel the same way.
Taiju: I would literally write a thousand sonnets for him. Carve his name in a blade made by only the most precious metals. Hell, I'll purchase a goddamn star for him. He can have whatever he wants, he already has my heart.
Chapter 1037: Why aren't you?
Emma: Are you checking out my ass?
Emma: Why aren't you?
Chapter 1038: *dies.
Ryusei; texting: Hey Fuyu, just heard Kisaki is in the hospital. I hope he gets well soon.
Chifuyu: I hope he does.
Chifuyu: Oh, sorry, I hate autocorrect.
Chapter 1039: You-know-who
Shinichiro: There's something I have to ask about you-know-who.
Emma: Is it Voldemort?
Shinichiro: It's not Voldemort.
Mikey: You haven’t mentioned wizards once in this conversation, so I’m gonna have to assume it’s Voldemort.
Chapter 1040: Do you know what this is?
Inui: Oh, my God. Do you know what this is?
Koko: It’s a book. There’s a lot of those in here, this is a library.
Chapter 1041: Scary dog privilege
Mikey: I admit I have scary dog privilege, although my dog is not an animal it's a human and he's name is Haruchiyo
Sanzu, the said dog ready to kill anyone who looks bad in Mikey's direction:
Chapter 1042: I have been captured by the enemy
Takemichi: I have been captured by the enemy
South, facepalming: Takemichi has a weird way of telling people we're married
Chapter 1043: I'm bored, let's drink mouthwash
Mucho: How do you tell someone their breath stinks without being rude?
Rindou: I'm bored, let's drink mouthwash.
Chapter 1044: That's because he likes it well done
*Ran and Shion runs into Ran's ex at the farmer's market*
Ran's ex: *smugly* Are you getting any? When Ran and I dated, our sex life was like my favorite steak - rare.
Shion: *snorts* That's because he likes it well done.
Chapter 1045: ...Are you flirting with my wife?
Takemichi: ...Are you flirting with my wife?
Kazutora: Yes I am.
Chifuyu: Do you wanna die?
Kazutora: Yes, I do.
Hina: ...wait what-
Kazutora: See ya! *jumps off a cliff*
Takemichi, horrified: Oh my god! Kazutora!
Kazutora, falling: Take me sweet deaaaath!
Chapter 1046: Is that a thing?
South: What is this feeling I am feeling right now?
South: It’s like I am sad...for another person.
South: Is that a thing? Am I going crazy?
Chapter 1047: 'A book'
Mitsuya: All I want to do is be in bed, snuggled in, with a book in my arms.
Ran/Hakkai, who changed their username to 'A book': Hiiii
Chapter 1048: If not, read it again!
Yuzuha: Akashi Senju, where are you?
Senju: I'll be there in 10! If not, read it again!
Chapter 1049: This is for your own good
Peh-yan: Angry, whatever happens I just need you to know something: this is for your own good.
Sanzu: *shoves Angry into a closet with Chifuyu and Hakkai and shuts it*
Chapter 1050: No, more scheming
Hina: You said no more scheming
Emma: I said "no, more scheming"
Chapter 1051: People hands or raccoon hands?
Chifuyu: Raccoons have people hands
Ryusei: Or do we have raccoon hands
Chapter 1052: Yeah, why?
Takeomi: So you're really just saying yes to everything right now?
Shinichiro: Yeah, why?
Takeomi, already googling engagement rings: No reason
Chapter 1053: Thansk you, I try
Mochi: Did you steal one of the neighbour’s garden gnomes again? They’ve been standing out there glaring at them suspiciously for the past half hour.
Shion: Nah, I got bored of that months ago. I’ve actually been adding new ones to their collection every few days for a couple of weeks now. I was wondering how long it would take them to figure it out.
Mucho: ....You’re a menace to society.
Shion: Thank you, I try.
Chapter 1054: You're lost in the dark
Takemichi: You’re lost in the dark.
Mikey: When you’ve been in the darkness long enough, you begin to see.
Chapter 1055: My child is fine
Mansuke: Makoto is like, ‘my child is fine’. No, Shinichiro watches a cartoon made for toddlers and kins the titular character.
Shinichiro: I do NOT.
Shinichiro: I kin BINGO.
Chapter 1056: But that is what Takeomi always made me do...?
Rindou: I know I said you were family, but that doesn’t mean you have to do all the chores for us!
Sanzu: But that is what Takeomi always made me do...?
Chapter 1057: It means so much
Yuzuha: I'm just glad that you found the courage to tell me how great I am. It means so much.
Chapter 1058: Do you believe in time leaping?
Shinichiro: Do you believe in time leaping?
Wakasa: I believe you’re a huge dork.
Chapter 1059: I'm not a smoker, I only smoke when I drink
Baji, to Takeomi: You’re like ‘I’m not a smoker, I only smoke when I drink’ you’re still a smoker! I can’t say 'I’m not a murderer, I only kill when I set fires’ I still go to jail!
Chapter 1060: Congratulations
Senju: Pots and pans aren’t supposed to melt, right?
Benkei: No, they’re not.
Senju: So, this happened—
Senju, holding up a melted pan: It’s weird, right?
Benkei, genuinely so shocked that he’s not even mad: It’s impossible.
Chapter 1061: This one but with murder instead of violence
Takemichi: Murder is never the answer.
Mucho: Of course, murder is a question.
Sanzu: And the answer is yes.
Chapter 1062: Everybody buckle up new parent just dropped
Kazutora: I don't want to be adopted by anyone from the BD. Shinichiro asked and I had to buy him an ice cream cause I felt bad for saying no.
Ryusei: Ha, at least no one tried anymore, right? Smiley and I have a betting pool, so please tell me they hate you
Kazutora: Haha. I mean, Y/N kinda seems like they want to? They pretty much tackled me into a hug and made me regret drinking coffee-
Ryusei: Backtrack. Backtrack. Y/N. Wants to adopt you.
Kazutora: I mean, yeah, but of course I said no-
Ryusei: Y/N. WANTS TO ADOPT US.
Kazutora: I don't see how this relates to you but-
Ryusei, writing in the GC: Everybody buckle up new parent just dropped
Y/N, proudly showing off pictures of their newly adopted kids: And this is my beloved Chifuyu. My beloved Nahoya. My beloved darling Souya, and my beloved Takemichi, and my beloved Ryusei, and my beloved Kazutora. They enjoy video games and snacks
Shinichiro, taking this as an obvious challenge, taking out his familey's album: This is Mikey. His favorite hobby is fighting and eating dorayakis/taiyakis.
Chapter 1063: Chickens own themselves
Ran: People that own chickens are trustworthy
Smiley: Chickens own themselves
Ran: You’re completely right and I’m a fool
Chapter 1064: I did this but just to read and write fics
Kisaki: The urge to mess up your whole sleep cycle just to read books.
Chapter 1065: ...No, you haven't
Shion: Have I ever told you how you are my only friend and very precious to me?
Mucho: ...No, you haven't
Shion: Oh...Good. Just making sure
Chapter 1066: Couldn't be me
Yasuda: Walking around with no bags or pockets or coats to hide stuff in freaks me out.
Yasuda: Imagine having no inventory.
Yasuda: Couldn’t be me.
Chapter 1067: Don't try him
Takemichi: You guys don't want to mess with me.
Baji: Yeah, Takemichi will straight up cry in public. Don't try him
Takemichi: Yeah, I will straight up-
Takemichi, tearing up: Baji, why would you say that?
Chapter 1068: Who the fuck are you?!
Baji/Kazutora: Who the fuck are you?!
Shinichiro: As one of the people who actually live here, I’m pretty sure I should be asking you that.... Although, given your appearance, I think I have a pretty good idea already.
Chapter 1069: Can you answer it?
*Inui and Koko are at home, watching TV, then the phone, next to Koko, rings)
Inui: Koko...the phone.
Koko, focusing on the TV: Mm-hmm, it rings.
Inui: Can you answer it?
Koko: No. People are particularly stupid today, I can't talk to any more of them.
Chapter 1070: That's Mikey and Takemichi
Koko: *staring out the castle window*
Inui: What are you doing?
Koko: My phone died so I'm watching two idiots fight outside. They look ridiculous, I’m happy I don’t know them
Inui: *looks out the window*
Inui: That’s Mikey and Takemichi
Chapter 1071: What the fuck is wrong with you?
Shinichiro: Wait, so why did you get detention?
Izana: Because Ran kept making fun of me and I got tired of it.
Emma: What did he say?
Izana: He said if being sexy is a crime, I'd be guilty.
Izana: I threw a kickball at his head and everything.
Emma: What the fuck is wrong with you?
Izana: Like eleven times.
Izana: I just kept hitting him with it.
Chapter 1072: That's my girl
Wakasa: Takeomi tells me you had a fight a school.
Senju: Yeah, I did.
Wakasa: We didn’t send you to school to do that, Senju
Senju: I’m sorry, dad
*Wakasa closes the door*
Wakasa: ...Did you win?
Senju: Hell yeah.
Wakasa, high fiving her: That's my girl
Chapter 1073: In depth conversation with flowera
Hakkai: Yuzuha can’t talk right now., she’s currently having an in depth conversation with flowers.
Chapter 1074: I'm under stress, I'm under pressure...
Shion: I'm under stress, I'm under pressure...
Shion: The only thing I'm not under is Izana, which is a damn shame honestly.
Chapter 1075: Doesn’t mean I can’t try though.
Takemichi: For god’s sake Kazutora, we’ve already been over this! Our mission is incredibly delicate, and serious. We need to focus! You can’t just keep trying to seduce every supernatural being you meet along the way!
Kazutora: Of course I can’t, I’m not stupid.
Takemichi: ...I’m glad you understand. Now, can we please-
Kazutora: Doesn’t mean I can’t try though.
Chapter 1076: MiNao be like
Naoto, after yelling at all his sister's friends, now turning to Mikey specifically: And anoth-
Mikey: You ever raise your voice at me again, and I'll start a gang war so elaborate and large scale that you'll be forced to call in the whole Japan police.
Mikey: And I'll do it whilst you're in the middle of an ultra important meeting, too.
Chapter 1077: You stabbed someone?!
Chifuyu: Why is there blood everywhere?
Kazutora: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife.
Hina: You stabbed someone?!
Kazutora: No, no. I aggressively poked someone with a knife.
Chapter 1078: Me?
Yasuda: I love you.
Peh-yan: *looks around the room genuinely confused* me?
Yasuda: We’re literally married.
Chapter 1079: Hey...I miss you
*during a fight with Sanzu, Takemichi calls him to see if he's still mad*
Takemichi, on the phone: Hey...I miss you.
Sanzu: Really? When I throw darts at your photo I always hit right on target.
Takemichi, after hanging up, to Hina: I'll give him another day or two to cool off...
Chapter 1080: So how was your day, babe?
Mikey: *slams open the front door, comes stomping in, throws his coat on the floor, angrily kicks off his shoes, flops down on the couch, half in Yamagishi's lap as he watches TV*
Yamagishi, still watching the TV: So how was your day, babe?
Mikey: *grabs throw pillow next to them, holds it to his face, screams*
Chapter 1081: Hey
Koko, to the new members: Welcome to Bonten. We trus—
Ran: *falls through the ceiling*
Koko: Hey Ran, you'll need to repair that.
Ran: Yeah, I'll call Shion down.
Shion: *falls through the ceiling*
Chapter 1082: This better me important
Mikey: Who is this? It's six in the morning, this better be important.
Baji, shouting: WE'RE COMING TO KICK YOUR ASS!
Chapter 1083: Yeah, but that would be devastating
Wakasa: Just ask Sanzu if he’s ready for you to come back. The worst he can say is "no".
Takeomi: Yeah, but that would be devastating.
Chapter 1084: Thanks, Taiju
Taiju, talking to Takemichi and Mikey: What you guys did took guts. I'm impressed.
Takemichi and Mikey: Thanks, Taiju.
Taiju: And such a creative way to tell the world you're dating.
Chapter 1085: ‘Kay, I’m scared, but that’s rad.
Shinichiro: *cracks his knuckles*
Y/N: Is that supposed to intimidate me?
Shinichiro: *fingers start glowing like glowsticks*
Y/N: ‘Kay, I’m scared, but that’s rad.
Chapter 1086: I want to be an adult!
Emma: I want to be an adult!
Benkei: I assure you, you do not.
Chapter 1087: You know...
Mikey: You know, I think we should try a non-violent approach to this
Dark Impulses: Agreed. But replace "non" with "extremely"
Dark Impulses Mikey: And after the word "violent" add "Blood Explosion Extraordinaire"
Chapter 1088: Sorry I can't flirt anymore
Rindou, after meeting Sanzu and Angry: Sorry I can’t flirt anymore, I have a crush to stay loyal to.
Chapter 1089: What the fuck
Kisaki, to Takemichi: I have feelings for you but I'm not gonna tell you which ones.
Takemichi, internally: What the fuck
Chapter 1090: Yes, you do
Hanma: Do you want to hear a joke?
Hanma: Yes, you do. Okay, here it goes-
Chapter 1091: Even when we saw Ratatouille
Y/N: When Wakasa and I used to go the movies, he would always try to guess the ending of the movie. And he would always guess that the main character had been dead the whole time. Even when we saw Ratatouille.
Chapter 1092: I think we might be getting off-topic
Rindou: Do you truly believe in things like yetis and chipa-, cab-, cabras--
Shion: El cupacabra, the goat sucker. Yes. Very unsolved.
Wakasa: I've met a few goat suckers in my time.
Benkei: I think we might be getting off-topic.
Chapter 1093: You are not supposed to give people advice!
Chonbo: Baji, we have talked about this. You are not supposed to give people advice! Now couldn’t you just have made some sort of inappropriate joke?
Baji: I did! A penis one!
Chapter 1094: If I was sick, could I do this?
Ryusei: If I was sick, could I do this?
Baji: What are you doing?
Ryusei: Carthweels. Am I not doing them?
Chapter 1095: Don’t ask for specifics
Kisaki: You know what? I'm tired of being accused of shit I didn’t do. When I could be accused of shit I did do!
Kisaki: Don’t ask for specifics.
Chapter 1096: Hina is more tired of many times Michi almost died than the times she has died
Hina, looking at Takemichi: I'm tired of these constant near-death experiences
Chapter 1097: Mana works hard to have this ability
Izana, pointing at Mana: This child has the uncanny ability to make comments that exacerbate your insecurities
Chapter 1098: Good friends are like this
Kazutora, to Hina: Go out there and slay!
Kazutora, after touching the wall which opened to show a wall full of all types of weapons: Here are some murder weapons if you want
Chapter 1099: Just curious
Ran: Would you kiss me for 100 bucks?
Ran: Just curious.
Mitsuya: Um, sure.
Ran, slamming £100 on the table: Wow, would you look at that.
Chapter 1100: I love you, commander!
Y/N: I love you, commander!
Mikey: And I love you, random gang member.
Chapter 1101: I'm prefer if you didn't
Ran: I love you!
Izana: I’d prefer if you didn’t.
Chapter 1102: Son of a bitch
Baji: Son of a bitch.
Takeomi: You better watch that mouth of yours.
Baji: But it's not a bad word. It's an expression.
Takeomi: Who told you that?
Takeomi, under his breath: Son of a bitch.
Chapter 1103: Just know that emotionally...
Ran: Just know that emotionally I’m wearing a pink crop top with a rhinestone playboy bunny on it
Chapter 1104: Yes! You can do that?
Mucho: You want me to flex and make all the buttons pop off my shirt?
Smiley: Yes! You can do that?
Mucho: The challenge is keeping the buttons on.
Chapter 1105: I've killed
Benkei: You could fit on my lap! *pats Wakasa on the head*
Wakasa: I've killed.
Chapter 1106: It's a lot better for me
Inui: Have you come to help?
Takeomi, watching the battle: Even better. I’ve come to watch.
Senju: That’s not better.
Takeomi: Oh, I’m sorry, I meant better for me. It’s a lot better for me.
Chapter 1107: Same!
Sanzu: I’ve killed people.
Chapter 1108: I think I have a crush on Takeomi
Shinichiro: I think I have a crush on Takeomi.
Emma: Congratulations, you're the officially the last to know.
Chapter 1109: Remember ladies
Koko: Remember ladies, when you get married, a dual income is better than a single one, so make sure your man has two jobs!
Chapter 1110: You'll find out soon, honey cake
*Senju sits Kazutora down with a look of glee*
Kazutora: What are you up to, Sen?
Senju: You’ll find out soon, honey cake
*Senju takes a seat on Kazutora’s lap and pulls out a small hand knit footie*
Kazutora: You’re—?!? I’m gonna be a—?!
*Senju nods and pulls Kazutora into an onslaught of kisses and giggles*
Chapter 1111: Doesn't matter
Rindou: -and I told him we are not friends
Hanma: How could you! You bastards, piece of shit, son of a-
Rindou: You don't even know whom I am talking about!
Hanma: Doesn't matter. Someone told me the same things but is my tiger & I can't call him names. So you'll have to hear my rant, Haitani
Chapter 1112: It’s about time I contributed
Shion: It’s about time I contributed to the online discourse
Shion: Bricks are domesticated rocks
Chapter 1113: When he jumped off the building
Mikey, as he falls: Ah, gravity. That motherfucker.
Chapter 1114: He meant the word panties, Michi
Hina: Tora, please STOP leaving your panties on the stairs!
Kazutora: Ugh! You KNOW I hate that word!
Takemichi, tired: Well too bad! STAIRS! STAIRS! STAIRS!
Hina: He meant the word panties, Michi
Takemichi: Well, now I'm embarrassed
Chapter 1115: No, no, uh-uh!
Mikey: What the hell are you doing?
Dark Impulses: I'm Dark Impulses-ing this plan!
Mikey: What?! No, no, uh-uh! You're not turning yourself into a verb, I won't allow it!
Chapter 1116: I feel like we all should've seen that coming
Mitsuya, to Toman: Hello, guys! Today we're talking about some gods and goddesses in ancient mythology!
Mitsuya, pointing to an image of Poseidon: The god of the sea!
Mitsuya, pointing to an image of Athena: The goddess of wisdom!
Mitsuya, pointing to Apolo: The god of prophecy!
Mitsuya, pointing to an image of Baji: The god of chaos!
Mitsuya, sighing: I feel like we all should've seen that one coming
Mitsuya: Who changed the image of Eris to one of Baji?
Chapter 1117: Did you just called me a baboon?
Wakasa, to Izana: WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO DIFFICULT?
Izana: OH, I DON'T KNOW MAYBE I AM DIFFICULT BECAUSE I AM FUCKING DEPRESSED, YOU STUPID BABOON
Wakasa, shocked: Did you just called me a baboon?
Izana: I TOLD YOU I AM DEPRESSED AND THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT TO POINT OUT? FUCK YOUL, WAKASA
Wakasa: YOU KNOW WHAT?! FUCK YOU TOO
Chapter 1118: Busy day
Takemichi, looking at their reflection: Now, that's rubbish. Who's that supposed to be?
Akkun: Well, that's you.
Takemichi: Me?! Is that what I look like?
Takuya: You don't know?
Takemichi: Busy day.
Chapter 1119: Which I would be glad to do
Mikey: Hina’s gonna kill me.
Chifuyu: No, she'll probably make me do it.
Chifuyu: Which I would be glad to do.
Chapter 1120: This one doesn’t ask for much!
Kazutora: It has been brought to Tora’s attention that he is not universally adored.
Kazutora: This one wishes those of you who dissent from the adoration would just hear him out, see things his way, then give him unconditional love to fill the bottomless well of insecurity inside his heart.
Kazutora: This one doesn’t ask for much!
Chapter 1121: What a wild concept
Kisaki: Sometimes it blows my mind that there are people that don’t wear glasses/contacts. Like they can literally see with no aid. Like they wake up and just be out here seeing. What a wild concept.
Kisaki: And people say stuff like ‘don’t you hate it when you look up in the middle of the night and see a spider on your ceiling’ like bitch I could have Slenderman hanging from my ceiling fan and I would be none the wiser.
Chapter 1122: I gotta run
Mikey: I gotta run. Shinichiro wants to see me before work.
Emma: About what?
Mikey: Uh, my schedule and my attitude, not necessarily that order. His words.
Chapter 1123: I have a knife
Kazutora: “I can make him better” this “I can make him worse” that, listen I have a knife I can make him dead
Chapter 1124: I did it
This contains spoilers of chapter 275 because unwillingly I was shown the spoiler and this incorrect quote fit it
Mikey, in shock: I did it
Takemichi, in shock and dying: You did it...
Everyone else in the fight, in shock and crying: He did it...
Chapter 1125: Are we shit talking?
South: *slams door*
Hina: Meeting with the gang?
Yuzuha: Are we shit talking?
South: We are
Hina and Yuzuha: *happy gasp*
Chapter 1126: Thank you
Stranger: You guys are such a cute family!
*Izana setting Mikey on fire*
Emma, unfazed: Thank you.
Chapter 1127: Twenty six
Naoto: At what age do you just accept that your life is a rotten piece of garbage and always will be?
Takemichi: Twenty six.
Chapter 1128: Death
Wakasa & Shion: *having a serious conversation about death*
Wakasa: I know it's sad, but death is a natural part of life. By the time I finish this sentence, thousands of people all over the galaxy will have died.
Shion: WHY DID YOU STOP TALKING!?!?!
Chapter 1129: Found family
Mochi: I love the term “found family” because it can mean anything from “over the course of our epic adventure, we gradually came to realize we had found the loving home and family we were all searching for in each other...”
Mochi, looking at Tenjiku: To “I woke up in the same dumpster as this troupe of idiots who immediately forcibly inserted themselves into my life despite my loud, repeated objections and increased the amount of problems in it by 200% and it hasn’t even been a week, but I’m already prepared to die for every single one of them without a moment’s hesitation.”
Chapter 1130: My biggest fear
Kazutora, to Chifuyu: My biggest fear is that eventually you'll see me the way I see myself.
Chapter 1131: Optional
Baji: I think making sense is optional, sometimes I just be talking
Chapter 1132: Stuffed animals
Angry: We take stuffed animals very seriously in this house
Chapter 1133: Thought process
Kazutora: I hate it when people ask me to 'explain my thought process' like hell if I know
Chapter 1134: You did not just fucking ask me that
Takemichi: Okay okay okay I just have to make sure… are you asking me in a platonic or romantic way?
Chifuyu: *On one knee, holding an open ring box*
Chifuyu: You did not just fucking ask me that
Chapter 1135: A life without me in it
Mikey: It’s almost halloween! Quick Michi, tell me a scary story.
Takemichi: A life without me in it.
Hina, walking in: Hey guys- why is Mikey crying?
Chapter 1136: It's okay
Shinichiro: I’m getting worried about how many nightmares you’ve been having.
Takeomi: It’s okay. My nightmares are usually about losing you, but I’m okay once I realize you’re here.
Chapter 1137: Yeah, that's how I lure in the ladies
Ran: And to what do I owe this surprise visit?
Senju: Well my place doesn’t have facial recognition software, or gummy worms.
Ran: Yeah, that's how I lure in the ladies.
Chapter 1138: Basically
Yuzuha: *pulls Inui and Koko close* Mine.
Inui and Koko: *pause, then nodding in agreement and shrugging* Basically.
Chapter 1139: And you are meeting them
Hakkai: The worst thing about meeting new people is that they are new.
Hakkai: And they are people.
Hakkai: And you are meeting them.
Chapter 1140: I have like $12
I feel like I have used this one before
Sanzu: Hey, I’m going to McDonald’s you guys want anything?
Hanma: I want Kisaki to be alive
Mitsuya: I want my friends and their mental health back
Takemichi: I want everyone to be happy
Mikey: I want my siblings and friends to be alive and happy
Shinichiro: I want Mikey to be happy and never see him suffer again
Sanzu: I have like $12
*later, in heaven and hell*
Sanzu: Hurry the fuck up!
Sanzu: Yes, now fucking harry up since 12$ don't give much time for the doors of hell/heaven to be open.
Baji: I always knew you had dealing with the devil!
Sanzu: Whatever, just move!
*all of the dead people just leave and go back to being alive*
Sanzu, pouting as everyone reunites: ...Now I don't have money for my McDonalds...
Chapter 1141: Ummmm, yah I think so
Chifuyu: Babe! Be real with me. If I were a plain little rock on a beach would you pick me up and turn me over in your hand and marvel over how wonderfully ordinary I am. Like really take the time to ponder how there isn't necessarily anything special about me but that the very deed of choosing me out of countless other rocks raises me to a precious, almost sacred level of irreplaceability that is only accessible through the act of being seen and loved?
Ryusei, trying to take out a small piece of lettuce from between his teeth: Ummmm, yah I think so
Chapter 1142: I can’t tell you
Hina once she finds out what happened on chapter 275
Hina: What the fuck happened to you?!
Takemichi: I can’t tell you.
Hina: What?! Why not?!
Takemichi: Because I really don’t want you to go to jail for murder.
Chapter 1143: It’s just false advertising
Mikey: All of these diets out here promising they’ll give you your “dream body”
Mikey: But I’ve talked to my dietitian and not one of them will make me six inches taller and buff as hell with functioning angel wings, sharp teeth, and a devastating smirk
Mikey: So frankly? It’s just false advertising
Chapter 1144: Mind your heterosexual business
Taiju: You can’t just fall in love with every girl you ever lay eyes on.
Yuzuha: Mind your heterosexual business.
Taiju: ...I'm bisexual
Chapter 1145: I love it
Draken: What's your costume this year, Takashi?
Mitsuya: I'm a member of the Mad Scientist Ethics Board, which makes sure that a project is sufficiently unethical before providing funding.
Mitsuya: Sometimes we get a normal scientist trying to apply with a regular invention that just has a puppy shredder attached to it with hot glue or tape.
Mitsuya: You'd think they'd be disqualified for that but trying to cheat the system to get research funding actually adds a lot of unethical points.
Draken: I love it.
Chapter 1146: What else was I supposed to do?
Witch AU where Mikey continues to try and kidnap Michi for himself
Takemichi: How did you know I was here?
Hina: There’s a tracking spell in your necklace.
Takemichi: A tracking spell?!
Hina: Oh, don’t give me that look, you’ve snuck out and gone missing three times this month, and been kidnapped twice. What else was I supposed to do?
Chapter 1147: The second part of your life begins
Benkei: Once you realise that you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake, the second part of your life begins.
Chapter 1148: The door has no fault that he bumped into it
*Yamagishi accidentally bumps into a door*
Senju: Are you okay?
Yamagishi: I'm fine
Senju, to the door: You stand in Yamagishi's way one more time and I'll make sure to take you down
Chapter 1149: That’s liquid sunshine, mi amigo!
Shion: So what brings you down here this beautiful morning?
Mucho: It’s raining.
Shion: That’s liquid sunshine, mi amigo!
Chapter 1150: Can she come get you right now?
Smiley: I know I’ve been talking about Yuzuha non-stop but another thing I love about her is that she just gets me.
Angry: Can she come get you right now?
Chapter 1151: Now...does it look like I give a shit?
South: Look at my face.
South: No no, keep looking.
Draken: I am looking!
South: No you're not, look harder.
Draken: Is there a point to this?
South: Yes. So look as hard as you can. Focus on every part on my face.
Draken: Alright!! I am!!
South: Now...does it look like I give a shit?
Chapter 1152: It's only ATTEMPTED murder.
Kisaki: If at first you don't succeed, it's only ATTEMPTED murder.
Chapter 1153: What was going on in their heads as they heard MiTake talk
Might do a part two of this one if I get ideas for what the others were thinking about<3
Benkei: '...This is why I shouldn't have agreed to be part of any gangs after the Black Dragons'
Taiju: 'What the fuck?! I came here to fight not to hear this story that makes and doesn't make any sense! You better pay me for having to deal with this, Mitsuya Takasa!'
Mitsuya: 'Hmm, did Draken know about this? Or at least Takemichi's part...'
Ran: 'Did I just wake up for this? I can't even tell if this is a real story or not...'
Rindou: '...This would be an interesting plot for a book or anime'
Shion: 'This is so confusing...but where is Kakuchou? Wasn't he fighting Hanagaki before?'
Mizo Middle Gang: 'This makes much more sense than Takemichi having been abducted by aliens...'
Pah-chin: '...If this is true then why did Mikey came to the fight? I mean, if these dark impulses are a curse how does fighting gets rid of it?'
Sanzu: 'Motherfucker! He told me not to tell anyone and he goes tell Wak-....how the fuck did he tell Wakasa if he basically died just a little time after I talked with him? Was Wakasa spying on Shin-nii? ...I should get an ouija to ask Shin-nii about it and also talk with Emma about what shampoo she thinks is better for my hair...'
Chapter 1154: My fiancé is a bum?
Inui: Now, what am I gonna do about my engagement present?
Takeomi: What engagement present?
Inui: Draken gave me a bracelet.
Takeomi: *takes it and inspects the stones* Hey, these are real diamonds!
Inui: Of course they're real! What do you think? My fiancé is a bum?
Chapter 1155: They're both idiots
Kisaki: You know, at first, I didn't understand how two people as different as Hanma and Ran could become best friends. But now I understand why: they're both idiots.
Chapter 1156: Energy
Sanzu/Senju/Mikey: Turning off my gender to conserve energy.
Chapter 1157: ...It's Halloween?
Emma: Hey, Hina! Nice Halloween costume.
Hina, covered in blood: …It’s Halloween?
Chapter 1158: Inflated ego
Y/N: Grandpa Shuji doesn't have a weakness, remember?
Kazutora, passing by, muttering: Wrong, he has the weakness of any tyrant: inflated ego.
Y/N: Oh, so that makes Grandpa Shuji a tyrant.
Chapter 1159: Why do you turn everything into a joke?
Angry: Why do you turn everything into a joke?
Y/N: Generally, it's to avoid confronting the very real and difficult issues that most functional humans have to deal with
Chapter 1160: I really wish you wouldn't
Chifuyu, drunk as fuck and muttering against Takemichi's lips: I want to make sweet love to you right here, right now
Hina, who has a drunk Kazutora curled in her lap sleeping: I really wish you wouldn't.
Chapter 1161: No, I feel pretty caught up
Wakasa: Please tell me you guys found the homeless men.
Takeomi, who is in Shinichiro's body: *scowling* You could say that.
Shinichiro, who is in Takeomi's body: Oh, Wakasa! You're never gonna guess what happ-! *trips down an entire flight of stairs*
Wakasa: No, I feel pretty caught up.
Chapter 1162: I don’t know, I haven’t eaten today
Takuya: Hold your horses, Kaku-chan. Hold them tight. Cherish them.
Takuya: I don’t know, I haven’t eaten today.
Chapter 1163: Thirsty?
Wakasa: I'll pound a monster at 9pm and then wonder why I can never sleep at night.
Wakasa: Wait! I meant the drink! Like I.M--
Ran: Thirsty? Was that it??
Rindou: Thirsty and needing to pound a monster to slake that thirst??
Wakasa, glaring at them:
Chapter 1164: Just kiss us, smartass
Takemichi: Kiss us if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs aren’t extinct.
Kisaki: Technically, you’d be right, because birds are descended from dinosaurs, and if we’re open with our definition of “dinosaur”, they could count.
Hina: Just kiss us, smartass.
Chapter 1165: You Sanos have...a tendency to overreact
Baji: You Sanos have...a tendency to overreact.
Emma, slamming her hands in the table: Overreact? Us? How dare you?
Shinichiro, falling to the ground, hand on his chest: How VERY dare you, Keisuke?! You are on my revenge list for this
Mikey: I can't believe you'd say this!
Mikey: *runs off*
Chapter 1166: How the fights between Benkei and Wakasa went like in the past
Wakasa: What's that?
Wakasa: Sorry, I just thought somebody that was above the average national height said something.
Wakasa: You're disgusting, Red Wall.
Chapter 1167: If Shinichiro had arrived when BajiTora was leaving
Baji/Kazutora: *steals the bike and runs*
Shinichiro, who just arrived and saw them run away with the bike: AT LEAST RIDE IT YOU IDIOTS!
Chapter 1168: Twelve years later
*Shion and Ran meeting up after 12 years*
Shion: Ran! Is that you???
Ran: Yeah! Hi!
Shion: You look like crap.
Chapter 1169: Why don't we quit while we're ahead
Takemichi: And everyone has something. Something that makes them special. Maybe not something that's important to you, but it's still important. Every life has value.
Hasegawa: Except for yours.
Hasegawa: And the looters. And the opportunists selling bottled water for vastly inflated prices.
Hasegawa: I have made a point to threaten them. Not fatally, merely to the point where they soil themselves.
Takemichi, sighing: Why don't we quit while we're ahead.
Chapter 1170: This one but instead of adoption papers it is a marriage certificate
Emma: I’m getting a husband
Peh-yan: Really? That’s great–
Emma, slamming a marriage certificate on the table: It’s you, sign here
Chapter 1171: Seven uses
Hanma: I can find about seven uses for a cadaver TODAY.
Chapter 1172: Gay sex will not fix this situation
Chifuyu: Gay sex will not fix this situation. Honestly, it'd probably make it worse.
Chifuyu, turning to Baji: That being said I think we should give it a shot anyway...Baji-san.
Chapter 1173: You got me
Draken, trying to fix something: Hey, can someone give me a hand?
Angry: *immediately goes to hold his hand*
Draken: You’re cute but that’s not what I meant.
Angry: Okay, but then why are you still holding my hand?
Draken: You got me.
Chapter 1174: I was talking to the parrot
Sanzu: Don’t fraternize with this creature. I am still training them.
Senju: It’s only a parrot!
Sanzu: I was talking to the parrot.
Chapter 1175: My ghost won't associate with your ghost
Senju: Fine, but if we die, I'm going to get Baji's ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute, so I can annoy the hell of your ghost.
Mikey: I'll just hire Sanzu's ghost to kick your ghost's ass.
Sanzu: My ghost won't associate with your ghost.
Chapter 1176: Dating
Sanzu: Date someone who forgives you for your past.
Takeomi: Date a boy who disregards your gambling addiction.
Senju: Date a girl who was your accomplice in creating chaos.
Chapter 1177: Dear...
Izana: Let’s write Shion a friendly note, shall we? Dear...Incompetent...Dumbass...
Chapter 1178: Men
Yuzuha: Do you like girls with long hair?
Senju: Or short hair?
Chapter 1179: Don't ever speak to me again
Akkun: What if Cinderella was a baking slave instead of a cleaning slave, and her name was Mozzarella?
Takuya: Don't ever speak to me again.
Chapter 1180: Being a fish
Shinichiro: What situation is not instantly improved by the addition of fishnets, I ask you?
Inui: Being a fish.
Shinichiro: Well, shit.
Chapter 1181: Once and a half
Kazutora: Rindou saved my life that evening, Michi. Twice.
Rindou, blushing slightly: Once and a half.
Takemichi: How do you half save someone's life?!?!?
Rindou: I was the one that was sent to kill him, so I figured it's only fair to count that as half.
Takemichi: Oh, it actually makes sense when you put it like that.
Chapter 1182: You cannot wake up and be dead
Wakasa: Haruchiyo is suspicious. And I, for one, do not want to wake up dead.
Takeomi, sighing: I can’t believe I have to say this again: you cannot wake up and be dead.
Chapter 1183: I'm not sure I care
Sano Makoto: We have a little family business to discuss...
Shinichiro: Is Mom pregnant?
Shinichiro: Are we getting a kitty?
Shinichiro, with a shrug: I'm not sure I care.
Chapter 1184: Ya don't say...
Emma: Mikey's love language is touch.
Hina, rolling her shoulder to ready a punch: Ya don't say...
Chapter 1185: Is everything alright?
Mitsuya: Is everything alright?
Yuzuha: Everything's fine, babe
Mitsuya: Did you just call me "babe"?
Yuzuha: Can I call you that?
Mitsuya: You can call me whatever you'd like
Yuzuha: Alright, Lightning McQueen
Mitsuya: I hate you
Yuzuha: No, you don't
Mitsuya, sighing: No, I don't
Chapter 1186: You lied to me!
Takemichi: You lied to me!
Kisaki: Let's say I was saving the truth.
Chapter 1187: Yeah, and they're friends.
Mahiru is Takehina's kid
Mahiru: Why do grown-ups do this? They stick two random kids together and expect them to just be friends.
Y/N, slightly annoyed: That's because they're friends, so they want us to be friends too.
Mahiru: I don't think Matilda would be friends with Lisa Frank.
Y/N: Just like the Fonz wouldn't be friends with Kevin and Winnie...
Mahiru: Is Uncle Mikey the Fonz, and Mom and Dad are Kevin and Winnie?
Y/N: Yeah, and they're friends.
Chapter 1188: Life tip
Hanma: Life tip, whatever dumbass name you get Siri to call you is what your iPhone automatically signs your emails as.
Hanma: I have been applying to jobs for the last 2 months as "Tetta's Reaper"
Baji: Oh god *turns phone around to reveal his email signature, "Baji" with "Peyoung Yakisoba Fucker 8000" written underneath it*
Shion: OH! OH MY GOD! NO! HOLY SHIT! IVE BEEN APPLYING TO JOBS AS "ANAL DESTROYER"!!!!
Chapter 1189: Wanting to kiss you?
Baji: You were wanting to kiss me all night?
Baji: Even when you were yelling at me?
Kazutora: Yeah, then too
Baji: So is this some sort of recent new development in your life?
Kazutora: Wanting to kiss you? No. It's sort of always been there. Like white noise
Chapter 1190: I'm gonna fuck you so bad it'll hurt
Ryusei: God, you wanna fuck me so bad it must hurt, huh?
Chifuyu: I'm gonna fuck you so bad it'll hurt
Ryusei, stunned: I don't think that came out the way you meant it, but yes please and thank you
Chapter 1191: Kids these days are such wimps
Wakasa: Kids these days are such wimps
Y/N: It's not our fault that back in your day you had to know how to defend yourselves from dinosaurs, dad
Wakasa: ...How old do you think I am?!?!
Chapter 1192: My biceps mock a lot of people
Another reason about why BenWaka were rivals/enemies in the past
Wakasa: I think I’m hallucinating, because I’m pretty sure I just heard your biceps mocking me.
Benkei: No, that’s possible. My biceps mock a lot of people.
Chapter 1193: ...Did that doll just move?
Angry: ...Did that doll just move?
Takuya: For my own peace of mind, I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that question.
Chapter 1194: I think that they would be useful
Baji: Having fangs may not be a ‘necessary’ or ‘wise’ addition to my physiology but it would be very, very sexy and therefore I think I deserve them regardless
Ryusei: I think that they would be useful
Ryusei: For like opening sauce packets and such
Chapter 1195: Skittish horse
Hakkai, to Mitsuya: Sorry I started acting like a skittish horse as soon as I realized you were flirting with me...it will happen again
Chapter 1196: What goes in stiff but comes out soft?
Izana: I learned a joke at school.
Wakasa: Ok let’s hear it.
Izana: What goes in stiff but comes out soft?
Wakasa: Is it a-
Benkei, running in from other room: SPAGHETTI! IT’S SPAGHETTI!!
Chapter 1197: They never really stop
Mucho: Has anyone ever told you that you're a bit weird?
Shion: They never really stop.
Chapter 1198: Oh, certainly not
Pah-chin: Wow, are you two twins?
Sanzu: Oh, certainly not. She’s just my stunt double.
Chapter 1199: Then have a horrible day, damn
Smiley: Good morning everyone! You guys have a wonderful day today!
Peh-yan: That sounds sinister and threatening.
Smiley: Then have a horrible day, damn.
Chapter 1200: I lost Haruchiyo's pet frog last week
Takeomi: I lost Haruchiyo's pet frog last week
Shin, the frog: Gay gay homosexual gay
Takeomi: Sometimes I can still hear his voice
Chapter 1201: With is without out but without is with out
Sanzu: With is without out but without is with out
Wakasa, who was ordered to babysit: *sighs* Oh will the great gods have mercy upon my soul
Sanzu: That means-
Wakasa: I swear to the highest power if you utter another word I will call Takeomi
Sanzu: *stays silent*
Chapter 1202: Trick or yeet?
Taiju: Trick or yeet?
Taiju: *throws Hakkai*
Chapter 1203: BUT
Takemichi: I am a nice person I think.
Taiju: What the fuck? Of course you are-
Takemichi: I think that I'll start throwing rocks at people that are mean to me.
Taiju: Marry me.
Chapter 1204: Don't you hate football?
Ran: I love it when South tell me the football score
Mochi: Don't you hate football?
Mucho: Do you even know what the score means?
Ran: Not a clue. It's hilarious
Chapter 1205: This is Sanzu
Sanzu: *writing a death threat and dotting all the i's with hearts*
Chapter 1206: So, what's your plan?
*during exams season*
Benkei: So what’s your plan?
Shinichiro: First, I’m gonna cry. I hope something good will come out of that.
Chapter 1207: Why the hell not?!!
Let's be real, if Emma has a favorite brother it would probably be Shin<3
*Izana and Mikey arguing*
Emma: Boys! Boys! There is no need to fight! I don’t have a favorite brother!
Izana: Why the hell not!?!
Chapter 1208: Get over it
Hina: I’m sorry Takemichi, but once your ‘would go gay for’ list exceeds five people, you’re bi. Get over it.