Knife to the Back

by Problematic_person

Summary:

"I could kill you right here, right now." Chuuya said softly, with his knife down he hovered over Dazai. The taller man stayed silent as his eyes roamed Chuuya's face. "I could slit your throat open and make you regret what you've done to me."

Chuuya pushed the knife to his throat, a little more pressure and he saw blood. Red soon soaked through the bandages, a small cut, a glimpse of dark liquid.

◇♤◇

Dazai and Chuuya were a pair, strong, argumentative, and forced. Ever since they were Fifteen, they were a pair. Until Dazai left and changed everything.

In his wake he left a trail of fire and confusion, and all Chuuya could do was burn.

A rekindled relationship that could never last.

⚠️ Warning: Major Charter Death, Smut, Harsh Langue

Notice!!! No Charters belong to me, All belong to Kafka Asagiri and Harukawa Sango!!!

Double Black , a duo created to wreak havoc and push down enemy's of of the Port Mafia. A fate bonded alliance, devastating to anyone to encounter them. Gifted organizations crumble under the power that only two kids can use. One, a vessel for a god of calamity, seeking to cause disaster and wreck the world surrounding it. Another, who dissipates an ability in the face and smiles, nullifying any instance of success, as well as the key to unlocking the true nature of the calamity god's power to be used over and over again. A duo whose only fate is victory. Double black, an infamous rivalry coated in the Port mafia blood and too much power to young. 

◇♤◇

The world is a dangerous place, understanding that is fundamental to survival. Growing like a weed in conditions no plant could thrive is the way of life for lowly scum. And I am lowly scum. I’ve fought and I've killed and I've done things that no child should ever have to do. I was too young, and too scared of dying. 

 

To imagine things, pictures and puzzles that fit so perfectly, some would consider insanity. Knowing what is right and what is wrong are things that people understand, but am I really a person, someone worthy of being considered human. Humanity, am I part of that collective that is somehow a strong group, or am simply an onlooker, forced to bend and break to keep the cycle of humans progressing. 

 

Am I simply a vessel, holding in something that must be kept at bay, may my mind be corrupted and death fill me, would be both bliss and anguish, to let go of a crushing weight that holds my body to a cold ground unfamiliar to me. 

 

Am I the danger present in this world? The being that twists and turns inside me may be the very apparition to destroy the world I've come to feel comfort in. Do I really know what is right and wrong, and do my thoughts stay consistent to the being that I wish to be, a part of humanity that fights and kills, and works to gain a place in a race unknown to him? What am I, a human or monster, a being onlooking? Nothing makes sense. Memories and recollections don't seem to accompany me. 

Life is but a concept. 

 

◇♤◇

 

“What are you doing here?” a voice speaks out. blue eyes flash to the doorway. Scattered papers littered one of the two mahogany desks.

 

“Can’t I just visit my partner on a lovely Tuesday afternoon?”  Playful as always is laced in the brunettes tone. 

 

“Dazai.” Says the ginger, a strict tone was one used often with his careless partner. “Get to the point.” 

 

A sigh leaves Dazai’s mouth, " Mori wants the paperwork from the last mission, have you started it yet Slug?” His voice rings out, less play and more work. 

 

A scoff  followed by, “It’s almost done, have you finished your half?”  

 

A small chuckle came from Dazai. “Of course I have.”  He walks over to the table. “Are you working on it right now, don't leave out all the details, Like how you tried leaving me to die in a ditch.” 

 

“I should have left you there.” He turns to the brunette, with a pissed expression reserved just for him. “I wouldn't want the whole mafia on my back though.” he scolded at the energetic boy. 

 

“You could take them.” Dazai smiles back at the ginger. “ It wouldn’t be easy of course, but it isn't impossible for the great Chuuya!” The taller man says prancing along to the other side of the table, bothering any little thing that may have found its way to Chuuya’s desk, rearranging them to a way Dazai seems fit. 

 

“Good to know you think so, would you please stop messing with everything!” He said, raising his voice.  He stood up and walked to the door. "I'll go deliver it to the boss, you better not be here when I get back." Chuuya said it wasn't an office they shared. 

 

"Oh, I'll just go with you. Annoying Chuuya is a pastime of mine after all!" He joyfully spoke, trailing behind the frustrated ginger. 

 

A groan was all that was heard from Chuuya before they turned into the corridor leading to the Boss's office. "He's still up right?" He said out loud. Not really expecting an answer from Dazai. 

 

"Of course, there's been a feud with a quite large gang recently. They've been killing off a lot of out patrol men. But we can't identify them." Said the brunette anyway. 

 

Chuuya knocked at the door, and after hearing an answer he walked in. " The reports have been finished for the Benedict case." He grimaced at Dazai. "I'm sure Dazai has reported to you in full. Goodnight." Chuuya said bowing to Mori in respect. 

 

"Ah, thank you Chuuya." Mori spoke with a pause. "Dazai do you mind patrolling tomorrow, about the case from earlier. I can't have this happening." He turned to the duo. "Chuuya, if you would tag along with that as well, that would be lovely." He looked back to the long table filled with documents and crayons. 

 

"Of course." They spoke at once, and headed out of the room. 

 

They walked side by side back to the joint office. Chuuya was planning on leaving, cleaning up his desk and getting prepared for another day of the annoying Dazai. "Another task with the slug." The taller man whined out. 

 

"Like you're any more pleasant mackerel." Chuuya spat back. 

 

"Calm down little guy, you might put my ankles in danger."  Dazai fussed, making playful 'scared' gestures. 

 

"I'm going to rip you limb from limb." Chuuya spoke with a deadpan expression. 

 

Dazai spun around to him and poked out a finger. "Says the one who doesn't want the whole mafia on him." 

 

"I'll make an exception." He said, dropping a coat over his shoulders. "I'm heading home." He said and walked out. The bandaged man stood watching his back. 

 

---

 

As expected, Dazai was late. Chuuya stood in the cold Yokohama air for twenty minutes past the agreed meeting time. "I didn't need to get involved with this and now I'm going to end up doing that freaks job for him." Chuuya grumbled under his breath, right as Dazai walked into view. They both wore more civilian clothes. Dazai adorned a puffy sweater and beanie, which chuuya stood with a gray shirt and black leather jacket and what he would call a stylish hat.  They walked through the back streets, trying to look inconspicuous. 

 

"Mori said that there may be a powerful user in their ranks, one that could compete against our executives." Dazai said as they turned a corner. 

 

"That could turn into an issue." Chuuya said in agreement for once. Chuuya walked more in front of Dazai, ready to finish a fight if one were to start. Dazai hung behind, looking into the corners of the alleys. He looked up and saw moving figures. He had a suspicious feeling for the last few minutes, but he could quite place it. 

 

He caught back up to the smaller man, and grabbed his shoulder. Before Chuuya could whip around, Dazai whispered in his ear from behind. "We are being watched." He backed away and nodded at him.

 

"Operation Cloudy sky?" Chuuya questioned, and Dazai nodded. Soon Chuuya was nowhere to be seen. Dazai continued walking down. What seemed like endless halls of backway. It was a memorized area that never really seemed real. Nonetheless, it was a great place to find idiots ready to die for frail things like money or honor. 

 

As he walked the dark figures continued to follow him, by now Chuuya would appear to be missing to them. Pretty soon the guessing game would begin. Dazai made more turns, confusing the group until they lost sight of him. And then he made his way up to a building's rooftop. A few random bodies lay scattered on the building next to him, Chuuya's work no doubt. The red head was a few buildings over, pulverized a couple more pawns. He made his way over.

 

"Chuuya~" Dazai called as he got to the building next to Chuuya. The body's were now laying around almost lifeless, except for one. The small redhead clutched the front of the unidentified man's shirt. His hands and feet were behind him, bound by some rope Chuuya must have found. 

 

"Who do you belong to? Whose game are you playing?" Chuuya yelled into his face. The man just smiled and stayed quiet. Seconds later he was thrown to the ground. The rough concrete of the building's surface scratched him. Chuuya walked over, his small stature must have seemed incredibly intimidating. "I'll ask you again, who is leading you?" He crouched down and pulled the man's hair. Dazai stood watch. 

 

With a smirk, the stranger spat at Chuuya. "Like I'd say anything to someone like you, a rat that belongs to a street sewer." With a quick motion, the spit was wiped away, and Chuuya was separated before he could murder this idiot. 

 

"You must think you're so much better. A pawn in a game you'll never win. Even a filthy rat lives his own life, not something you can say" Dazai said as he approached the commotion. "Look, you can do this the easy way and maybe get out of this alive or…" He slowly pulled out a pistol, "We can do this the fun way, and you won't have to deal with your keeper again, or anyone else for that matter. Cause you'll be dead."  Dazai laughed at himself. The man didn't seem to budge on his opposition. "The fun way it is. Come on Chuuya, let's bring this hobo back so that the doctor can inspect him."  

 

Chuuya looked back down at the man. "Why do I have to bring him?" He looked back at Dazai. 

 

"Well idiot Chuuya, you can do you little floaty magic and torture him on the way back, and he'll just try to stab me on the way back if I deal with him." Dazai mocked. "That is if he still had his knife." He pulled out the stranger's knife, spinning it around. He looked surprised as he glared between the two boys standing over him.  

 

Chuuya was a lucky being, a being whose bullets couldn't penetrate easily. Which is why, when a gunman 20 meters away stands astounded after a barrage of bullets fly to the gravity user, just to stop their tracks. Dazai, likewise pulled out a pistol, shooting three shots, and the man was down. "We only need one." He looked back to Chuuya, "Let's get back to base." 

 

----

 

"What's your name?" A voice rang in the darkness. The Mafia now prisoner stood in hackles in a pit of darkness. 

 

"What the hell. Just kill me. You won't get anything out of me!" He screamed out. 

 

"We don't have to get messy so quickly. Just give me your name?" A dark voice circled him. 

 

"Fuck off."  A pin was stabbed into the man's gut, a red glow faded from it. " Fine. Ito Nakamura" the man let out a cough. "Now you know the name of a Deadman." 

 

"What's the name of your organization, it's a mafia of sorts correct?" The prisoner was quiet. "I've got much worse than a little needle." A moment of silence passed. The man' wrist was attacked with three nails, rusted and dark, red slowly dying out. A brooding darkness circled Dazai’s eyes as he watched it drip to the ground. 

 

"Shit" He coughed out. "Bitchy shit." Another nail, flying into his earlobe. "Fine, it's called the Saigai Mafia."  Another cough echoed through the empty room. 

 

"That's an interesting name, calamity? What do you want with the port mafia?" Dazais voice sang out and he came into view with pliers in hand.  The man stayed silent and Dazai approached. Slowly he ripped a nail from an unharmed hand and then from the other, a loud scream was heard in the pit. "What. Do. You. Want” His voice growing stern. 

 

The man stood breathless. "We want Arahabaki." The following silence rang loudly. A bullet passed through the man's skull. Blood pooled around the limp body, red dripping down as the body was held suspended by restraints on the wrists. 

 

"What was that for?" Chuuya said as he approached Dazai, leaving behind a table of sharp objects in the dark corner.

 

"We know enough now." He turned to Chuuya as his heartbeat increased. "We need to be careful." Dazai calmly walked out of the chamber. Leaving behind a body and a confused Chuuya. 

 

—

 

          The next few days consisted of patrols around the undercity, led by mainly Dazai and help from Chuuya. 

 

      "The last thing we need is an organization trying to shoot down one of our most powerful assets." Mori spoke through the room, the executives, including both Dazai and Chuuya, listened. Mori turned to Chuuya. "While we haven't been able to find much information besides their affinity for Chuuya's Ability, we have continued to search." He nodded to Dazai. 

 

          "Under interrogation, an imprisoned member of what we know to be the Saigai Mafia, filled us into the main attention of their organization, and that is to obtain Arahabaki." Dazai gulped. "We also have reason to believe they may seek out similar users, or those who have studied powerful ability users. Movement from this organization has seen to be losses since the first and only integration." Dazai spoke clearly to the council of members. 

 

      " Is there anything else we may need to know?" One of the executives asked. 

 

       "As far as we know, they don't know what they are looking for. They seemed to have no reaction to seeing Chuuya, or his ability. It's possible that they just know he is contained within the Port Mafia, and may be investigating the area to gather more information. This is why we have continued to allow Chuuya to assist in the patrols." He said confidentiality. 

  

         "Chuuya, what are your opinions on the situation?" Mori asked happily. 

 

     " They're idiots, I'm not too concerned. I'll wait till the next interrogation to decide on a move." Chuuya spoke as he leaned back into his chair, looking to the ceiling. 

 

—-

 

     Luckily, a lucky break was made in the case. A member slipped up and wandered into the wrong alleyway at the wrong time, prompting a second interrogation, yet again held by the infamous double black. 

 

       "Another dog has been dumped into the shelter I see." Dazai smirked. "I'll skip the basics. Your buddy Ito Nakamura told us about your goal." 

 

       "And what would that be?" The cocky prisoner spoke. 

 

          "Arahabaki." With a single word, the prisoner's grin dropped. Their shoulders slouched. 

 

         "Do you even know how to find the god? Do you know how he could be contained? I do." Dazai walked around the prisoner, the concrete post holding them on display to the dark murky room. They remained quiet.

 

      "Oh great Arahabaki, show yourself!" Dazai called into the dark corner. Chuuya appeared. 

 

      The prisoner looked to Chuuya, bowing his head and saying an odd prayer of sorts. The ginger kept his distance as Dazai continued, "You people are playing a silly game here. You don't know what to look for, or what you're trying to do." He paused, watching the face of the prisoner shift from hum to the ground, then to Chuuya, and back to the ground again. "Chaos, is that what you want, to use Arahabaki to cause a little mischief?" With a pistol in one hand he raised the prisoner's head to look at him, and position the dark gun under their chin. "What's your goal here?" 

 

     "The likes of you wouldn't understand." The strange person spat. Dazai chuckled and stood up, he walked over to Chuuya. Anger flashed on the prisoner's face as Dazai put a hand on the ginger. 

 

    Chuuya just looked at him as he walked around him. "Silly me, I must be the least of your worries when dealing with a god. Is this the real vessel for Arahabaki?" Dazai looked directly at the puzzled Chuuya, "Or someone I brought down at random?" Dazai looked at the hostage. "Do you happen to know?". 

 

      A hint of panic nestled on the prisoner's face. They hesitated, "The real one?" 

 

      "Bingo!" Dazai exclaimed, from behind Chuuya, a hand previously resting on his shoulder slid down to his waist. It wasn't a delightful scene to the prisoner. "New Question, What does Arahabaki do? You must know what the famous God does correct?" 

 

The prisoner looked away, "The great gob Arahabaki manipulates gravity and seeks to destroy all in its path." They muttered out. 

 

     "Correct Again. I'm going to fill you in on our precious Chuuya here." Dazai let go of the Ginger, walking back to the shackled prisoner. " Using the Power of Arahabaki, he manipulates the gravity of all those around him. He can tap into Arahabaki using a special thing called corruption. He has no control of it, that amazing God of yours uses his body and bends and breaks it until he dies." The hostage looked horrified as Dazai explained it. 

 

      "Is this really a good idea you know, telling them everything about the thing they're trying to find?" Chuuya spoke out. 

 

     "It's fine, They won't leave here alive anyway." He smiled at Chuuya then turned to the prisoner. "Chuuya has tapped into Corruption a few times, and only one thing can bring him back." He paused, "Me." The prisoner looked between the two. 

 

Dazai nodded at Chuuya. The prisoner watched as rocks started to glow with a deep red. They spun and rose up to surround Chuuya. Dazai walked over, pressing his hand lightly to Chuuya’s shoulder. The hostage's eyes grew with a new understanding.

 

     Later, Dazai sent the prisoner loose. He claimed it to, "Stir up some trouble." Chuuya thought it was a terrible idea.  

 

    "Don't worry too much, it will give you gray hairs." Dazai said as they walked back to the office. 

 

     "It's ridiculous, now they can identify me." Chuuya huffed, it would be one hell of a report to file. 

 

    Dazai stopped to look at Chuuya, "As long as I'm here, there isn't a reason for you to worry, I'll protect you the best I can." His voice was soft and considerate, it almost scared Chuuya. 

 

      "Whatever you say, I'll start the report. You, clean this up." He gestured to the scattered rocks and debris. 

 

     Dazai stood alone. In that moment he realized something. The time he's spent with Chuuya may have led to feelings that went far past partners. Things may have cleared in his mind. He shouldn't think about it so much. 

 

He was to young and too dumb to know what those feelings were. Those feelings that felt all too human. 

 

◇♤◇

He was older now, some would say smarter. But those feelings still fluttered about. 

 

         Tears trickled down a warm face, shaky hands smeared the salty pain across blotchy cheeks, quivering lips fought against the urge to speak, to call out, to scream for one person. "Chuuya" the name held heavily in the crisp air. The darkness seemed to swallow any other noise, the sound of a beating mind and heart seemed so loud. maybe the room was too loud, he could tell as his eyes blurred. 

 

Again and again, his mind brought this up, almost a past trauma, a sore that just won't heal. The best from the worst, he couldn't tell. He just couldn't abandon the thoughts. The mafia shaped him, he wouldn't be where he was without it, it taught him so much. Part of that was Chuuya. His time in the Mafia all started because of Chuuya, and he wished he would regret it a little bit more. Everything he's accomplished he can draw it back to the hot headed ginger swearing death on him. Sometimes, he wished he could go back. 

 

       More tears fell down, gliding along previously made wet passages, some falling into a fiery ear. "Please." A plea into nothingness, a slip in the quiet room. 

 

        Dazai laid in his bed, awake and full of things, guilt and regret filled a night like this. He was smart, he could have done things differently. He knew that. He knew that the only reason he laid alone in a quiet room was his own stupidity, he didn't think enough. He knew he hurt the other, at least that was what he had thought for so long, maybe the ginger did hate him, maybe he lives life happily, never caring to curse out a piece of scum. He wondered what was true. 

 

         "How the hell did I lose you?"   Another barrage of tears fell from his clouded mind. Thunder intruded as he gripped at his face. "Why, why, why?"  Another thunderclap sounded and his thoughts wavered, he tore at bandages and scared at his flesh, the thought of Chuuya was becoming too much. Years should have softened the blow of his memories, but they were getting worse. Love doesn't die out, it simmers on with painful embers, struggling and smoking. He couldn't snuff it out completely.

 

◇♤◇

 

The roads of Yokohama have been almost  natural to Dazai. Patrolling for the Mafia and leisurely walks have added to it. When you grow in the city, the city grows to you. Some things like missing bricks and battered buildings have a story in his mind, he was there for so much. Sometimes he walks with Atsushi, just telling stories with minimal context. Sometimes he just wants to go through it all again. Go through the good of the Mafia. 

 

Sometimes, he wonders, did he make the right choice?

 

The weather always changes, blankets of snow to rivers of water, all of which have been seen by these rough roads. Today was no exception. Most would describe the weather as gray and gloomy, a good sign for a bad day. Dazai liked it though. It made the streets easier to navigate, without blinding light and pitch black shadows, he could see better. The smell of a 'gloomy' day was always the better part of it, a day like this always felt familiar and safe. Many times it caused him to lower his guard and wind up with a new stab wound or bullet hole, in his youth, but things are different these days. 

 

Dazai looked to the sky, dark clouds almost ready to burst with water droplets. He stood for a minute with his eyes shut, just breathing.  He looked around, he was close to a local bar, maybe he should get a drink. Better not, but this alley was a quicker way to his destination.

 

He approached the bar from the back alley reminiscing. The bar was loud. As normal for a Saturday afternoon, but it still seemed welcoming. He approached as a couple people spilled out, walking sloppily away from him. He took another step when a familiar figure opened the door with the chime of a bell. Dazai darted back to the alley, praying that the shorter didn't see him, maybe he would get lucky today. After a moment of him staying silent, a knife flew past him and landed beside his head. 

 

"Dazai" the voice was cold as the brunette turned to face him. 

 

"How nice to see you here Chuuya, long time no see, I've missed you partner." Dazai spoke sarcastically, but he would be kidding if no part of him wished it was true. 

 

"Always nice to see the man who left you while you were in another country. I'm sure you've been plenty happy." The look of hidden anger sent chills through Dazai, but he stayed silent. "I'm sure you've been doing well with the agency," The taller one nodded, "It would be a shame if they lost a member, don't you think?"

 

"Yes, I would be a detrimental loss to them, just like the Port Mafia." He hit a nerve. 

 

"We are doing fine actually, never been better since a certain waste of bandages left. It's been prosperous to say the least." Chuuya fired back quickly. "Don't stroke your own ego." 

 

A moment of silence rang through the dim alley. They stared at each other. "Do you ever miss me?" Dazai asked quietly. Might as well get something from this exchange. 

 

"Sometimes. Do you miss me?" He said honestly.

 

"More than I would like to say." Dazai said he studied Chuuya's face, hoping for the slightest resemblance to a smile. 

 

"Then I hope you realize that I want you dead, that I want you to regret leaving me." Chuuya's voice wavered. Dazai stood silently, trying to formulate a response. "Do you regret it?" The shorter asked as he grabbed his knife from the wall. Dazai turned away, he didn't have an answer that required less than an hour to explain. He missed Chuuya, he tried to not miss the mafia, he tried to not think about it, but he did. He missed the missions with Chuuya that paved the way for Yokohama’s undercity to prosper. But he was on the good side now. The side that saves people. 

 

Chuuya huffed and turned to walk away, but Dazai grabbed his arm. "Please don't walk away." He didn't know why he did it.

 

"You're not the one to say that you don't get to tell me to stay and not leave you." Chuuya raised his voice as he turned and pointed a finger into Dazai’s chest, moving him against the wall. "You don't have the right." Anger poured through his words. 

 

"There is nothing I can do to mend the past. No matter what road either of us take now, we can't erase it either." Dazai looked to the other, all he wanted was always just a reminder of how Chuuya used to look at him. " I can't say I would do much differently if I could go back" His hands reached out to the ginger, just to be slapped away. "Please look at me." His voice wavered as he pleaded to the other man. 

 

Puffy stormy eyes looked back at him. He could only wonder what the thunderclouds in his mind told him. "But I know I would do anything to bring you with me." Dazai looked at Chuuya fully. His face was red and patchy and his eyes did their best to hide the tears that could only be held for so long. His hands were back together, fighting with the leather material. Not many people saw his hands, and no one has seen them more than Dazai. A crack of thunder and a drizzle of rain. 

 

"There have been hundreds of nights I've spent wondering if you regretted it." Chuuya sighed. Relief flooded the brunette as words trickled out. "So many things came to mind when I heard the news. Joy, I was so overwhelmed with happiness at first. But that didn't last long. You became a ghost.  Your presence never really left." Chuuya’s voice cracked. "I remember asking myself if you were going to be back, I asked around, to see if it was just a stupid mission, but it wasn't and you were gone." A tear fell and splattered on the cold concrete path. "You were gone, and you didn't come back, and you were never going to be back and, and, it felt like a part of me had died." Chuuya's face was wet with tears, or the newly pouring rain. His mind overcame the clouding memories as he spilled out his deepest thoughts to his distant partner.

 

Dazai held him, broken sobs and muffled screams followed the next hour. Then Chuuya looked back at him.  His face was damp and he looked drained. His short stature, usually filled with immense strength, was shaky. "Do you wanna crash at my place, it's much closer than yours?" Of course Dazai knew where the infamous gravity user resided. Chuuya nodded. They walk back quietly, a stumbling chuuya and careful Dazai, to the apartment complex, Chuuya crashed on the couch smelling of alcohol. 

◇♤◇

 

Chuuya was an alluring being by many standing. Infamous power came with his name, as the vessel for the God Arahabaki, as well as the best fighter the port mafia could offer. An executive in his field and a presence that couldn't go unnoticed. But despite the fear that follows him, beauty quickly trails behind as a shadow would in the sun. His face was a sculpture that Greeks and Romans alike couldn't decipher and if you somehow weren't aware of his status you'd be swept away by the current of his storm eyes.

 

Dazai could speak from personal experience. When you throw aside the fear and see the ginger locks framing his face, a landscape of fog hidden behind sharp pupils, and the way his jawline is always as sharp as a knife, you may get swept away into the sea. Chuuya was a siren, beautiful and dangerous, luring men to their deaths, without the need for a real weapon. 

 

Dazai was not of the same nature, he held power unlike any other, and it was said that his glance could kill a man. The tale of a man covered in bandages leading you to your grave was a common myth in Yokohama. There was no escape to the man covered in black. 

 

The duo seemed to be a legend in the port mafia, two sides of a coin, a coin that released havoc. Strong and swift. Two halves of a whole that could not be beaten, a trump card for the underground world. A fairytale that was all too real. 

 

Dazai often thought that of his younger days. Too much seemed surreal, he wondered if it was all a dream, a figment of too many sleepless nights, and not enough physical connection to another. Sometimes he wondered if Chuuya was real or if it was another hallucination his warped brain had created. Nothing felt real. Those nights were best left without another thought. 

 

◇♤◇

 

        Chuuya noticed a few things when he woke up, sprawled out and comfortable. First, he felt calm and safe, no presence around him could be harmful. Second, he was in significantly less clothes than when he fell asleep, he noticed he was just in his socks and a button-down shirt with a few buttons loose, and found the rest of his clothes folded neatly near him. Third, his ex-partner sat a few feet away, carefully watching him, it felt nostalgic. "Why am I here?" He grumbled. 

 

        "Wanted to make sure you were safe." Dazai spoke quietly. 

 

        "This isn't right, I need to leave, I shouldn't be here. I need to leave you in the past." He said more to himself. He tried to stand up, a little too quickly. He fell back to the small couch. "Shit, how long was I out?" He looked at Dazai. 

 

             "An hour and a half, maybe two."  Nothing different from his normal sleep schedule. 

 

         "Why did you bring me back here?Why not go back to the apartment? I shouldn't be near the agency." Chuuya's voice was cold and stern. 

 

      "It was closer." Dazai answered. "And you agreed. You weren't drunk were you?" Chuuya gave him a look, something that said 'I know damn well that doesn't matter'  Dazai sighed, looking away from the smaller.  "I wanted to talk to you a little longer. Maybe I could try to fix this." He turned back, his eyes searching Chuuya's face. 

 

       Chuuya was quiet for a moment. "No, no I'm not doing this. You are gone. You aren't in my life anymore, I'm so tired of seeing you, I can't do this." 

 

       "Glimpses in the street aren't enough. Chuuya you mean so much to me. You can try to drown me out all you want but you know that you can't really forget me. If you could, you wouldn't still be here. The door isn't locked, walk out if you want." Dazai said, finally matching the stern tone Chuuya voiced. 

 

        Chuuya remained on the old couch, his head hurt and his eyes were droopy. Wine sounded nice. "Why did you leave me?" The question was plain and simple, but it had been a plea into the darkness for years. Catching a glimpse of the taller one on the street always brought up the question, a good chug of wine brought it up, a night without sleep always traced back to it. "Why did you drag me into the mafia just to stab me in the back and run away? The mafia was all we had, and you just left it, left me, for what?!"  It was a quiet moment before Dazai spoke. Chuuya feared what the man would say. 

 

         "I...didn't, I...wanted to leave the mafia. I didn't expect this. I miscalculated somewhere." He paused, Chuuya understood the jumble of thoughts that endlessly poured. "I didn't mean to leave behind what I'm realizing we had. I thought that I hated you, what I felt, I couldn't understand." He looked at his hands, bandages crawling just beneath. "I left you and I regret it, if I could go back to change it, I would. If I understood myself better, then maybe I wouldn't have run without bringing the one person that would help me make sense of this world." 

 

        The ginger was puzzled. The idea of the question came to mind, but there wasn't a way to format them. "...Why?" It all traced back to one word. 

 

          "Chuuya, the you that we know now was born in darkness, and you never found a way out. If I brought you with me, you could have been so much greater. You hold so much more than I ever could, you are so much more human than I could ever be." 

 

Human. 

 

          What did that word mean? "Answer my question Osamu." Dazai winced at the mention of his first name. He could remember clearly when Chuuya first said his first name. He remembered making him say it over and over again until he hated every small syllable in the pronunciation. 

 

            "Say it again….please?" Dazai could never get over how his name sounded rolling off of Chuuya’s lips. 

 

        "Osamu…..answer the question." 

 

        Dazai sat in the bliss of his name, "It wasn't you I wanted to leave, you just happened to be part of a bigger thing. The Mafia is much stronger than me, with or without you." Dazai spoke as if he was on trial, a murdering man sentenced to death, pleading for his life on the stands. 

 

      "Ok" His voice was distant, the nail in the coffin.

 

     Time ticked away slowly as the pair sat in silence. Chuuya on Dazai’s run-down couch, and Dazai sitting crossed legged at the table standing I'm the middle of the area. The shorter watched the other intently, not secure if he could still trust the man who left him years ago. Dazai was wearing something similar to Chuuya, light khakis and a blue handed button-down shirt. His turquoise bolo tie had been discarded on the table, and his hair was messy, curls sticking in many directions. 

 

       The last time Chuuya got a good look at his face, it sprouted a medically dressed eye and a patched cheek. Now, his bandages ended at his neck, close to his jawline. Both dark eyes were exposed, and they glanced at Chuuya, half expecting a pick up in the conversation, only to quickly return to the fumbling of his fingers. 

 

       "What time is it?" Chuuya asked, it seemed loud in the previously silent room. 

 

      "Around 3am." The taller one answered. 

 

       "I should leave." He stood up, buttoned up the loose shirt and gathered his clothes. He turned back to the other man. "I don't know what led you to seek me out, but if you genuinely tried to fix what you've done, at least to me, then do it. I'm willing to try again." Chuuya walked out, carefully shutting the door behind him. Dazai sat on the cold floor, with the hint of a smile budding.

 

◇♤◇

 

Human.

 

 It was a word consistently redefined and looked into for the ginger. His body and doing seemed human, but he was just a vessel. Did he have any actual purpose other than to restrain an ancient god? Often Dazai reassured him of his humanity, his care and kindness to subordinates that the others lacked. Chuuya and Dazai had opposite personalities, but both wanted to achieve the same thing: to feel human. The other is outside of what would be considered human, to see the value of a life like his would be a question he asks himself. 

 

Dazai would define humans as ones who commit acts based on emotions and feelings. The nature in humans which he saw to be completely opposite of himself, which was shown to be a void of apathy. Dazai defined Chuuya as human, the most human one could be.

 

Chuuya would define humans as those whose body and genetics fits that of a scientific category. The word human to him, ment those who could get hurt and could feel the pain of helplessness, something he could not see with God bearing within his body. He saw that something that had another being held away to be that of a possessed monster, who should be kept away from those he defined as human. Chuuya defined Dazai as Human, even if he didn't see it himself. 

 

While Chuuya understood Dazai’ standpoint on the word, he could help but feel like he crafted another lie to ease the woes of the ginger. He remembered nights where the taller would whisper the promise of Chuuya's humanity, one he himself could not fully grasp. 

 

Nights where one would crumble underneath the constraint of humanity lead to a boy holding another, with shaky words and gentle whispers. Things like this shouldn't be put onto children. Things like this should never have existed. Maybe if things were different, they wouldn't have to prove their humanity between bullets and body bags, maybe if things were different, they could be normal kids, bickering over nonsense.

 

They always held onto that maybe.

 

Sometimes he wondered, in a different world, without abilities, what he would be like. Maybe he would be different, maybe ugly bandages wouldn't wrap around long arms and cover ugly scars and ugly memories.

 

Sometimes another thought that he could control everything contained within himself. Maybe in a different world, he would have to worry about unleashing a god to wreak havoc, maybe in another world his humanity was graced with a normal life. 

 

Sometimes the lives of the people wandering Yokohama seemed so nice. 

◇♤◇

 

The bottle seemed to be Chuuya’s best friend. It was always there, always listened, never pestering him. It was amazing, never commenting on his height, or challenging him, or saving him when he really needed it, well maybe it wasn't perfect. But it was damn close. 

 

Many people that worked within the Port Mafia knew of the young executive's drinking problem. A bottle of wine a day certainly wouldn't keep the doctor away, but it would lessen his memory, and make some pain stall. 

 

Akutagawa was one of those in the Mafia who knew much too well of the gingers problem, being an ear to listen for a few to many nights. He didn't mind much, the stories he heard about Dazai seemed like a pretty good payment, but he soon realized that Chuuya may have been a little too close to the traitor. Many others would say it was infatuation, Akutagawa would claim it to be love or obsession. They were really an old flame that never went out. There were so many layers in Chuuya's tone, to many things that would normally go unnoticed, too much unknown to say that it was a burnt out star. 

 

"He's going to come back, he has too. He can't leave me here. I'm going to kill him when I see him, he better be dead." He rambled nonsense as he took another swing of the deep red liquid. The few months after Dazai’s disappearance resulted in these ramblings. 

 

Akutagawa could only watch as Chuuya attempted to kill any memory of his past with the Former member. "No, I don't think so." Akutagawa said quietly, wishing himself that it wasn't true. "He won't be back, and no amount of liquor can change that." 

 

"I know." Chuuya set down the bottle. He looked at his subordinate. "Do you wish he was back?" Chuuya looked at him.

 

"Yes." He said it quietly. 

 

"Even after the hell he put you through, and all the things he's done to you, you still think of him fondly." He paused, "why?" The question was genuine and curious. 

 

"I want to prove myself. He pulled me out of my life on the streets and gave me a home here. Without him I wouldn't be where I am today." He said confidently.

 

Chuuya nodded. "Working as the Mafia's dog, better than the streets I suppose. He's got a knack  for that sort of thing I suppose." He twirled the bottle around, watching the dark liquid circle. Chuuya could only think as he remembered his time with the sheep and how Dazai pulled him into his senses.

 

◇♤◇

 

        Missions the infamous twin dark got sent on, were unpredictable at best. The jobs ranged from the lift of a finger to fighting for their lives. No one could really gauge it aside from Mori, who thought it was a fun idea to send them out without much previous knowledge. Dazai would also find it entertaining if he didn't have to deal with the slug complaining for hours, or nearly die just to wind up injured brutally. 

 

        This mission was no different. Keep an eye on this guy, get more information on him, I want to send the raid unit on him, Mori says, Chuuya and Dazai are the perfect candidates , Mori says. And what the boss says, goes. 

 

      At least they got a nice hotel out of the deal. It was to be a three day mission, using Dazai’s stealth, and Chuuya's ability to stay out of normal people's eyesight, they were to stalk the guys and find his plans, and prepare an attack from the raid unit.   

 

        Dazai and Chuuya were quite new at this whole partner thing, both much more invested in leading a group to help, but the less people the better, and it would be a good experience for the two of you, Mori says. On their last mission, their third together, they constantly bickered, and Dazai discovered Chuuya's taste for wine, so things he couldn't find easily as a kid on the streets, which somehow meshed well with Dazai's affinity for alcohol. 

 

     They got to the hotel the night before the task started, a packet laid on the counter of the kitchenette, detailing what they knew of the man they were tested to follow, as well as photos detailing his face, height, and physical structure. And a small note gauging the strength of the stranger: Formidable to Double Black. Great. 

 

          At least they got a good hotel this time, most overnight missions Dazai attended, his group was left with ratty hotels and cold broken motels. This place however was the opposite. It was off while with gold details, and it gave off a more western feel. It was extravagant and a little too fancy for this type of operation. Chuuya on the other hand, was thrilled, large beds and soft furniture adorned the shared area. A good night's rest before a long mission was always a good start. 

     

The mission ran smoothly. Getting information and investigating was a speciality for Dazai. Chuuya, however, was a louder person and would rather deal with the guy himself. They resolved that conflict day one after a bodyguard chased them down and shot at them. He wasn't seen again. Regardless, they collect key data on the man. Things like names and nicknames, close associations, and dealers in the area became scattered in the nightly reports. They would have to write a much more detailed one later anyway. 

 

    Within the short days there was a constant, while the duo was out performing the task at hand, a new set of documents would appear. Investigations the mafia did to the users' close subordinates, and business partners, as well as new developments on the man himself were kept in the folders. continued to shuffle through the light colored folder, another note, written on plain paper with crayon wrote:

'I hope both you and Chuuya can try to enjoy yourselves while away from the Headquarters. I hope you have thought of this as an easier job, and have had fun during the duration of your mission. 

P.S. these is a surprise in the mini fridge♡ ' 

       Dazai lifted his head, then turned to the small black fridge, Chuuya came over to investigate what had the Brunette so focused on. In the small fridge held a couple bottles, a nice wine and a good whiskey. He would guess they spent their last night away with some bonding, as Mori would think. Chuuya snatched at the wine and read the label while Dazai inspected the rest of the area. He could never know if Mori was playing a prank or something inconvenient.

 

       Chuuya was a slim guy, short stature and a lean frame, anyone would see him as this little lanky kid. If they were unfortunate to make that mistake, that little lanky kind would knock their lights out. Dazai has witnessed it first-hand. Chuuya was a muscular guy, a toned body from years of street scraps and brawls with men much larger than him over petty shit. In the streets he tried to blend in, hide his ability and make bets. He only used it when necessary, and streets brawls really didn't fit that description. His body grew strong from his pastime. 

 

           A shift in careers was recent for Chuuya, finding a place in the port mafia seemed inevitable, and with his career change came a change in lifestyle, from fighting random people on the streets he went up against those with ability and found a place in the world. A couple months ago he would never have seen himself now, a leading figure in a prominent underground mafia, a user respected and feared, as well as a dog to the one and only Dazai Osamu. The rest sounded nice at least. Said man was wandering around the assigned hotel rooms, quietly for once. 

    

   The shorter uncorked the wine and swallowed a taste. He would describe the favor as fucking awesome, 15 and dumb.   He walked around the shared room, running his hands on different pieces of furniture and decor. "Do you normally get nice rooms on these missions?" Chuuya asked, and he took another sip. Even as a nwere member himself, Dazai had already gained a bit of trust within the mafia, and certainly with Mori, so he had a few more missions under his belt then Chuuya could say. Most of the few missions that Chuuya has attended involved Dazai as well.

 

      "No" Dazai was watching him at this point. His voice was low in the quiet room, the world slept. 

 

       Chuuya glanced at him. "What's your problem?" He questioned. 

 

"I feel like I'm babysitting." Dazai said louder, disgusted. 

 

"What?!" Chuuya raised his voice and walked across the room. "I'm going to kill you." Dazai stood unfazed as Chuuya got closer. He pulled out a knife. 

 

"You won't use that on me." Dazai’s voice was steady. "You just joined the Mafia, and here you are wanting to kill me, Mori's infamous subordinate, you can't be that stupid." 

 

"Fuck you, and fuck your stupid Mafia." Chuuya put the knife to his throat. "Start praying to whatever God you believe in." He pressed the large knife in lightly, watching as blood spread across the bandages, and beading down. He took the knife down. "I hope you actually die one of these days." He picked his wine and went into the bedroom, or started to. 

 

"I'm starting to think you dislike me Chibi." Dazai called out, he grabbed a glass and poured a shot of whiskey, it burned in his throat as he spoke again, " Just when I was thinking you were a decent person." He half joked. 

 

"Wait really?" 

 

"No," Dazai said bluntly, another taste of liquor, followed by a small laugh.

 

Chuuya stomped to the ground. "High and mighty king of shit, you're no better." He was less than a foot away spitting whatever the meanest thing he could think of was as he prodded out a finger. He sat the wine on some random side table adorning the room. 

 

"Still better than a street rat." Dazai spat back, 15 and dumb. 

 

Chuuya landed a solid punch to the side of his face, and stormed off into one of the bedrooms, making sure to slam and lock it. It was their first mission farther from base, and somehow Dazai manage to fuck it up, the night they were supposed to relax and feel comfortable around each other. The taller brunette stared at it, picking the lock was always an option. He sighed and walked to the wooden door, it was white with a golden knob. He turned the knob out of habit, no budge. 

 

Dazai knocked on the door. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." The other side remained quiet, except for the shuffling of fabric, Chuuya must have covered himself with blankets. "Everyone from there is a street rat. You, Odasaku, almost every member including me…I'm sorry Chuuya, please open the door." Another shuffle was heard, and a suppressed sniffle. 

 

"Say it, say I'm not some stupid street rat. I'm not. I'm not." His voice trailed off. The request almost seemed frantic, like he awakened a young wound. 

 

Dazai said, "You're not a street rat. You're a loyal member of the Port Mafia, and an important member at that. You have one of the most impressive abilities I've ever seen. You are no street rat." He added on, trying what he could to boost the ginger's ego to urge him out, like a scared kitten. 

 

Eventually, after what felt like a lifetime for Dazai, the door clicked and opened. Chuuya stood in his boxers and a red t-shirt. Dazai looked down, and away. "I'm sorry." He offered the previously discarded wine back to the ginger. He took it. 

 

Dazai walked back to the cooler and poured a glass of whiskey, he held it in the air and spoke, "To a long and prosperous partnership." 

 

"Whatever you say, you waste of bandages." The ginger said with a hint of a smile. 

◇♤◇

 

Another day, another body lying in a black bag. Being part of the Mafia was a dangerous job for the average person, but Chuuya was lucky to be born with a formidable gift. He worked tirelessly for his ranking despite that, becoming the Mafia best martial artist and executive were no easy titles. His switch to this career came with a lot of heartbreak and mistrust, but he has devoted his loyalty completely to the organization he calls home. And it all started with that idiot Dazai. 

 

Despite their conflicting personalities, they had managed to make quite the name for themselves. At some point they learned to work flawlessly together. A perfect match for one another. And then Dazai broke that trust and left him to rot away with the countless dead. 

 

Today was no different. Overseeing the flood of bodies as a new ungrounded uprising was extinguished, was normal. That issue was over, taken care of by the black lizards, but paperwork was another thing. Contacting families and reorganizing employee files was a different side of the job that sucked, and Chuuya has been stuck dealing with it for the last week. A simple patrol would be better than this, and a simple patrol he got. 

 

After days inside the overseeing mafia buildings of Yokohama, he swept the streets, just to make sure the embers of the last uprising were flooded out. It was a gloomy day, dark clouds and light wind, rain perhaps later. He liked this type of weather. 

 

"Chuuya." Dazai appeared before the ginger. Things could always get worse. "I would like to talk to you if you have the time." He spoke quietly. 

 

Chuuya turned to him. A small alley was behind the taller man. "No. I'm working. I'm not dealing with this right now." He tried walking past the brunette. Dazai trailed behind. 

 

"It can't be that important." He joked as he caught up beside the ginger. 

 

Chuuya scoffed, "Unlike you, I actually do my job properly. I'm sure the agency would murder you if they saw this." They turned a corner. 

 

"It's my day off," He began.

 

"Not mine." The shorter cut in, getting more aggravated by the second.

 

"Calm down, it's not like they would be out stalking me, they have other things to do." He strolled through the cuts and curves of the buildings' outsides. 

 

"It's unnatural." Chuuya's voice got quieter. 

 

"I wouldn't say so. I believe it's perfectly normal to catch up with old friends. " Chuuya wondered what Dazai ment.

 

"This is different. Two opposing organizations shouldn't have members seeing each other like this." They turned down a quiet sidewalk. 

 

"What's that supposed to mean Chuuya." Dazai asked playfully. 

 

Chuuya glared at him. "You know what I mean." They looked back around starting back towards the Mafia headquarters. "I need to get back to work." 

 

"Can we talk later?" Dazai asked as Chuuya walked away. 

 

He looked back thoughtfully. "Sure." He spoke after a pause debating, "9" . He walked back to the building, filing a report, and heading home. It was only 7pm. 

 

He filled the time, tidying up and doing laundry. He wasn't really hungry, just tired and anxious. He changed into sweats and a t-shirt. Nothing good came with words Dazai prepared. He poured a cheap glass of wine. It was bitter and off, but still wine, barely. 

 

Time passed quickly as his nerves bundled. It was 9:07. He went to the bathroom for a minute, and came out to see Dazai on his couch. 

 

"Picked the lock?" He asked as he walked to the couch and sat on the other side. Dazai nodded, "What did you wanna talk about." 

 

"I'm sure you already have an idea." He said quietly, he seemed nervous. 

 

"Yeah." 

 

"Why do you think I left?" The first question. 

 

"No idea." Chuuya said bluntly. 

 

"Ok.." He paused and looked at Chuuya. "Odasaku died, and he told me something, to turn to the good side." He looked back to his hands. "I did as he wished. There were so many issues with me then, and there still are. But that doesn't mean I want to throw it all away. The Mafia was so much of my life, I learned so much, maybe too much." 

 

Chuuya listened as the other spoke. "Thank you for telling me, you don't have to say everything, just what you're comfortable with." He placed a palm on Dazai’s shaking hands. The taller one turned to him in a swift motion, his eyes appeared glossy. His face was redder than when he first appeared on the couch. Dazai nodded. Chuuya knew that Odasaku  was one person who could turn the tides in Dazai's world. Oda had acted as a signal and a figurehead to Dazai, despite standings related to the Mafia, Dazai put him before anything else. Chuuya knew this. 

 

"I got in touch with some people I knew from being an executive, and found out about the agency, and it was a great fit. I'm ok there." He said, cautious with his words. 

 

"Is it better than the Mafia was?" Chuuya asked. He didn't want to know the answer, he needed to. 

 

The question tumbled in Dazai's head as he thought about it. "Yes. But it doesn't have you." He paused, "That sounds corny, but it is so much better for me, less death, more helping, it's fun, and people still look up to me but it's less pressure. But I don't have my infamous partner. " He paused. "And it seems to be unnatural to see said partner." He attempted the lighthearted joke. 

 

"Do you really miss me?" The next question was a bit quieter as the ginger turned away. 

 

"Of course. I would burn the whole world down for you." Dazai moved closer using a hand to urge the other. "The agency is nice but you aren't there." Chuuya averted his eyes as Dazai searched his face.  

 

 Chuuya was quiet as the words processed in his mind. Dazai pulled away, and still watched him carefully. The shorter glanced back every few seconds, the time seemed to stretch on. In a hushed tone Dazai spoke, "I can leave if you want me too." He started to move away. 

 

"No!" Chuuya's voice was louder than it had been, he grabbed at Dazai, and caught a hold of his shirt. "We can keep talking. I'm just a little tired." Dazai sat back down and nodded. 

 

"What can I do to fix what happened?" The question was abrupt, and blunt, but it beamed with determination. 

 

Chuuya closed his eyes. "You could always come back. But you'd be miserable, and then it would be my problem," He paused, Dazai knew the option was always on the table, hell they both knew Dazai could rule the Mafia if he wanted to. He could take Mori's spot and rule Yokohama, but he wouldn't want to. "Or, you can prove that you didn't mean to leave me, to leave what we had." Chuuya looked back at Dazi. "We can keep our work and personal lives separated." 

 

A small smile formed on Dazai's face. He jumped at Chuuya, holding his small frame within his own. "Chuuya!" His childish behavior never really ended. 

 

Chuuya smiled softly, there was something different about the way Dazai held him. He missed it. "Ok, ok, you should go home, it's late." The ginger stated. 

 

With a nod, Dazai left, surprisingly easily. Chuuya sighed as he slumped into his couch. He was tired. Emotionally and physically, he could offer no more. Dealing with both his and Dazai’s emotions and past was entirely draining. He wished it was easier, just to simply ignore what happened and try to move on, but it was too much. 

 

What Dazai did was permanent, what he did will always stick with Chuuya. Like a knife in the back, it will leave a scar, they would have to be careful for it to heal properly. 

 

"Is it worth it?" He asked into the room. He knew there wouldn't be an answer, he wished it was that easy. He stood, and flickered the lights off, pale light accompanied him as he went back to the couch. He sat back down, his body ached. "I'm too tired for this." He fell asleep. 

 

◇♤◇

 

It's been seven years since Chuuya joined the Mafia, six since he was appointed as the youngest underboss in history, quickly followed by Dazai as he claimed the title. It's been five and a half years since he started to have feelings for Dazai, five since he realized it might have been more than a childish crush or a rush of adrenaline, and two years since Dazai left him behind in the organization he introduced Chuuya to. 

 

So much can happen in seven years, so much has happened in seven years. 

 

Meeting Dazai. Hating Dazai. Falling for Dazai. Dazai leaving. Hating Dazai again. Missing Dazai. Dazai showing back up in his life. 

 

It felt like a game of cat and mouse, he wondered when it would end. Maybe he was living it now. Right now as he looked down at Dazai on his couch.

 

"I could kill you right here, right now." Chuuya said softly,  with his knife down he hovered over Dazai. The taller man stayed silent as his eyes roamed Chuuya’s face. "I could slit your throat open and make you regret what you've done to me." 

 

"I already regret it." Dazai said softly, his hand raised to caress Chuuya's cheek. The moon shone through the window, illuminating the side of his face, he almost appeared to glow. "If it would help you to kill me, then do it. I'm not one to pass up an opportunity like this." 

 

Chuuya pushed the knife to his throat, a little more pressure and he saw blood. Red soon soaked through the bandages, a small cut, a glimpse of dark liquid. Dazai gulped. "I've always wanted to kill you. I thought, 'if I can't kill him, nothing can' it seems to still stand." He sat back, the knife was relieved from the other's throat and he sighed. Slowly, Chuuya leaned back down, throwing the knife on the ground somewhere.  He grabbed the side of Dazai’s face, turning and inspecting it. When he got closer, he could smell the light trace of whiskey in Dazai’s breath, he could probably taste it too. 

 

He leaned further, crashing his lips into Dazai's, it was a bruising and harsh kiss, like a battle. Dazai kissed back, trying to be more gentle, he raised his hands to Chuuya’s face, rubbing circles into his cheeks. Dazai started to lean up. Chuuya pulled away, he breathed heavily for air. "I want you to regret every single second away from me. I want you to hate it, and hate anyone else you've been with." Before Dazai could respond, Chuuya pulled him back up into another kiss. He trailed off from his lips to his ear. Dazai’s head flew back as Chuuya sucked on his skin. He went back to his mouth, putting his hands in Dazai’s hair and pulling him in. 

 

Dazai sat up with Chuuya on his lap, his hands finding a place at the smaller ones hips. His hands roamed slightly under the loose fabric of his button down shirt. Soon, his hands pulled away, he worked on the buttons, undoing one after another slowly.  Dazai began taking control, kissing down Chuuya’s neck. A small moan fell from the redhead's lips. He could feel the buttons from his shirt come apart as Dazai’s hands worked at them. Not long and his shirt was thrown over the couch. Dazai roamed his body, leaving purpling bruises wherever he pleased. They broke away from each other for a second, and Chuuya hung his head between them. "Why didn't you just get bored and move on, why did you have to come back. I was just getting over you. Fuck" Chuuya's voice broke. His shoulders shook as he squeezed his eyes shut. His mind trembled with the words he had finally said out loud. 

 

Dazai’s mind had cleared instantly, surprise planted on his face. Chuuya looked back to him, eyes watering. "You could have just left, let me think you didn't want me, I-I was so close to getting rid of these, of these stupid feelings ." Dazais look softened. He wrapped his arms around Chuuya, holding him. 

 

"I couldn't. Everyday, I thought of you, I couldn't get you out. I'm so lucky that you let me back in. I don't want to put you through that ever again." His voice stayed soft as he squeezed his arms around the smaller man. "Never ever again." 

 

"You never called, never texted, nothing, just poof- and you were gone." His face crumbled as his hands squeezed at the still intact shirt on Dazai's chest. 

 

Dazai looked up to the ceiling and back to the shifting ginger locks. "You were the best thing that ever happened to me. For better or for worse, I'm with you, since day one, I've been with you." Chuuya noticed as Dazai rubbed small circles and patterns on his back, relieving the built up stress and nerves from the day. He relaxed in the arms.

 

Dazai carried him to the bed and laid him down, "I'll go get you some water." 

 

Chuuya rested there as his tears dried. He shouldn't be this emotional, he shouldn't care this much, why? He sat up and watched the door. Maybe he should trust Dazai, maybe he shouldn't. He did know that he couldn't tell anyone inside the Mafia, including Kōyō. 

 

Falling back to his pillows, he covered his face with his hands and let out a groan. He can't let his emotions control him like this, he's known Dazai for seven years, and he could kill him at any point in time. This would be fine, he would be fine. 

 

Dazai walked back with a glass of water, four ice cubes just like Chuuya always preferred. The ginger spilled it onto himself as he took a sip. 

 

◇♤◇

Control. 

 

It plagued him, it pained him, it taunted him, swaying in his face. He longed for it, for the freedom that the feeling of control forms. His past, his life, his strength, his opinions, all morphed to fit the picture that everyone wishes for him to display. 

 

Maybe there is a difference between control and freedom, it lies between the extent you are taking with each. The control he wished wasn't over others, but for himself. To feel the full fledged power he could hold and to control it, for it to not mask away his sanity and slowly break him.

 

But instead his control reached over others, commanding and placing humans with strategy as a puppet to a higher power. Strong pushing and pulling at wooden limbs clink and bend, he always wondered what the cut would be. The relief and the lightness he would feel without restraint. 

 

Which in turn, relates to another question, how would he move? With cut strings and unfeeling limbs how would go on. The constant struggle in his mind surged and swayed, he put a front to the feeling, called it loyalty and pushed it away. 

 

He, as a child, put his strength to others and was betrayed. A knife to the gut was a small price to pay for the people he protected. And then he was brought again, somewhere new, somewhere where his string would stretch. He would watch the twine and wonder if it would break, on to find the disappointment where it lived out once again. 

 

And then a string frayed. 

 

And there was a person who allowed him full control, full power, and a way to go back. And in that person, he laid trust, allowed the strings and wooden sticks to be placed in bandaged hands. And now, the slightest feeling of freedom and control placed itself into him. New strings formed, tight-wires and elastic twine, light dances around everything, it was exhilarating. He found strings he loved, wished for, needed. 

 

And he watched as they snapped.

 

He must have wondered what had held him all alongs, they must've been steel wire as the tightly knotted rope broke. The rope that led him to the feeling he so desperately desired. 

 

And when it hit, when the small frays dispitatied and spread, string by string, dust spraying in the air. And with it came the empty feeling he's felt and feared. His eyes latched to the unraveled rope. It moved, the shredded rope, it moved with the back of the person leaving him, abandoning him, an utter betrayal. Again. 

 

The rope eventually faded into black, cold creeping into the blackness of his mind. It was twisted and sick, the way this life had treated him. 

 

But that was life. Sometimes he wondered what happened, how this came to be. What would it lead to?

 

What would you do if it was your last day on earth?

 

"Do you ever think about when we were younger?" Chuuya asked as he laid on top of Dazai. He nodded and kept reading out of his little red book. "I wish you would get rid of this suicide encyclopedia thing." He continued flicking at the book. 

 

"It's interesting."

 

"It makes me sad." Chuyya said half playing at a pout. 

 

"You're an adult." Dazai shot back at the complaint. 

 

"Ugh, you're impossible." He said tuning onto his back instead of his stomach. "And uncomfortable." He said as he elbowed the man under him. 

 

"You're no better," He said with the flick of a page. "You could just get off me." 

 

"Excuse yourself, this is my couch and my apartment, therefore you are a trespasser." He turned back to his stomach, making sure to elbow Dazai's ribs at every possible moment. "Anyways, answer the question."

 

"What?" 

 

"Do you ever think about your younger days," He started as he twirled a stand of dark brown hair. 

 

Dazai nodded, "There's a lot there. Too many regrets, too much stupidity." He turned another page. "A Lot of good memories too, just a lot more bad." He set down the book and played with ginger hair. "Why do you ask?"  

 

"Dunno." He signed and closed his eyes as the taller massaged his scalp. 

 

"Remember that one calamity mafia, what was it called?" Dazai started.

 

"It started with an S." Chuuya added. 

 

"Sacred, saggy, oh Saigai Mafia! Remember that?" He said aloud. Chuuya nodded. "What ever happened to that group, I forgot?" 

 

Chuuya looked at Dazai, "Oh that was right before you left wasn't it. After the two integrations they seemed to calm down, it became kinda public in the Mafia." He said laying his head on its side, "A couple others got caught claiming to be with that group, but it wasn't ever determined whether that was true or not. We haven't heard anything from them for a while." He finished explaining. 

 

"That's nice. They had me worried for a while." There was a sigh of relief in Dazai's words, Chuuya nodded in agreement.

 

“The infamous Dazai Osamu, the Man clad in black without a soul, worried for me.” Chuuya said playfully. 

 

Dazai tugged at a strand of Chuuya’s hair, warning some bickering, “I know how much you struggled with Arahabaki, and getting over everything because of it, the last thing I wanted was for another episode of you hating and mistrusting everyone around you.” His words were soft as he spoke.

 

"That's nice. What was it you saw in me then?" He shot another question out. 

 

Dazai laughed, "What wasn't there to see?" He wrapped his arms around the ginger. "You were everything I wasn't, strong, powerful, crackling with life, and full of emotion." 

 

"So what?" The redhead asked, digging geezer into the mind of the man under him. 

 

"I guess it probably started as envy. Or maybe curiosity. Either way, I guess I fell for you." 

 

Chuuya let out a small laugh. "I genuinely hated you for so long, but Jesus I wished I would have gotten over it sooner." 

 

"I know, it sucked. I was into you for so long, it was like torture, but there was never really a dull moment."

 

"Once I realized I liked you, I couldn't stand it. It was like a big crash, and I just avoided you, hoping it would go away, but then you came clean and said it to me and I was so happy." The ginger said in jumbled words.

 

◇♤◇

 

Yokohama definitely wasn't the biggest town in Japan, despite the culture and the underlying issues between the groups that called it home, it prospered. Dazai loved that about this town. He could always tell when he saw someone from the Mafia, even if they were past his time. The way they carried themselves always gave it away, many members from his younger days could be found roaming the streets of the great city, whether it was for work or personal benefits. The best people to see would always be the Akutagawa siblings, and Chuuya.  

 

The worst people would be the underbosses, aside from Chuuya, or the boss himself, Mori. He would try to act polite when he couldn't hide from him, but honestly, seeing the old man made his stomach turn. 

 

Today happened to be one of those days. A day where he left Chuuya's apartment and headed back to his own at the agency, obviously the best day to see his former boss. 

 

"Ah, Mori, Elise. Long time no see." He said calmly, bowing his head before the mafioso. 

 

"No need for formalities. It's nice to see you out and about Dazai. May I ask why you are so close to where so many of my subordinates reside?" He asked calmly as Elise pouted with distaste.  

 

"I was feeling nostalgic." He stated. 

 

"Well, if you ever trip past nostalgia, your former position is always available." Mori said with a vicious smile. Dazai often thought of him as a serpent. The offer felt like a joke.

 

"I'm glad the port still holds me close to its heart." He said plainly, "I'm afraid I'll have to cut this short, I have some things to resolve at the agency." Once again he bowed his head. 

 

"Still running away I see. Is it really nostalgia, or are you trying to gather something here. While you may be a strong figure, even you surely can't defeat the Mafia single-handed." Mori asked as Dazai passed him. 

 

"If I was out for recon, you wouldn't have found me wandering the streets so openly. Besides, I wouldn't be alone." Dazai said, pausing as he looked forward. 

 

Mori smiled. "Of course." They went their separate ways. As soon as Dazai knew that enough distance was put between them, he let out a sigh of relief. He opened his phone to see a text from Chuuya. 

 

Little Hat Man: See you tomorrow? 

 

◇♤◇

"Dazai.." He turned around to see the voice. Of course he knew who it belonged to. He wouldn't, couldn't forget that voice. 

 

"Mori." He paused. He seemed to be in more of a business situation today. This was the second time this week, about the 5th time since his secret 'meetings' with Chuuya started. 

 

"Nice to see you again so soon. Another case of nostalgia?" Dazai hummed in agreement. "Do you happen to have some time to speak?" Dazai looked at him. He could only worry as he thought up more excuses, it could only go so far. 

 

He tried to read his face. "Of course." He said, cautiously he walked. He remembered at one time Mori stood taller than him. He glanced at the now shorter man. A calm smile splayed on his face, the same face Dazai had seen kill their former boss. That was the first time Mori had really drug him into mafia affairs. 

 

"I've had reports of seeing you near those apartments. As we both know, many of the higher ranking members reside there." He said calmly. "I don't think you ever got the chance to occupy the area as well. So what type of nostalgia is appearing." He said the smile didn't continue past his lips as he met Dazais eyes. 

 

The taller let out a quiet laugh. "Old feelings. I like to speak to my former subordinates every once and a while." Mori didn't seem to accept the explanation, but didn't push further. 

 

"It's raising questions at the agency. Chuuya has been on edge recently. Maybe you two really did hate each other that much." The walk continued. The agency was blocks away, and Dazai knew this would be a bad sight. 

 

"Of course. You really expect me to get along with a snail?" He said with the rhetorical question. There was no way Mori didn't know, he was a smart man. 

 

Dazai knew Mori was painfully away from the agency's location, but there was no telling what he was thinking. Dazai could pull himself out of this, or explain to anyone from the agency if they saw this. He really didn't want to though, but mori continued, saying bits and pieces of most likely private mafia information. Even after all of what happened, Mori trusted him. "That's a lot to say to someone who's against the port, are you sure you should say such things?" Dazai entertained. 

 

Mori laughed in response. "You wouldn't do anything with the information anyway, just small pesky things. I'm sure you must be getting on your way." The raven-haired man stopped. "I'm sure I'll see you soon." With that, he turned and walked back in the direction of the Port's headquarters. 

 

Dazai let his shoulders relax when the man was out of sight. He pulled out the phone. 

 

◇♤◇

 

Suicidal Freak: We need to talk. 

 

Little Hat Man: ?

 

Read

 

Chuuya threw his phone to the couch. He just got back from an overseas mission. Something about containing a dangerous ability user in the middle of nowhere. It wasn't hard, but he hated traveling so long for these assignments. He walked over to the counter. Dazai had been by, and appeared to have left a small box for the ginger. It looked elegant and frilly, inside the box was the complete opposite. Inside, a small keychain sat, it was a red wine bottle beside a smaller wine glass. 

 

Chuuya let out a small laugh as he shook the Keychain. He walked over to his key holders and attached it to the key for his motorcycle. He looked back to the black screen resting on the couch. 

 

Little Hat Man: I'm back from that mission. 

 

Suicidal Freak: I'm heading over. See you in a bit.

 

Little Hat Man: What's all this about?

 

Read 

 

Chuuya groaned as he fell to the couch. He left for five days and now Dazai is having an issue. About what? He had not a clue. Chuuya knew it typically took Dazai between 12-14 minutes to get across the town. With that time, he couldn't help but ponder what it could possibly be. His hands clenched as he contemplated.

 

Was this it? Was Dazai leaving him again? Did he find someone new, someone better ? Did something happen? He is going away? Please not again. I can't do this again. Dazai what the hell. Was it all for nothing? A little experiment? His mind seemed to spiral into a mess of thoughts and half accusations at the other man. 

 

Finally, after too much time, the sound of a key turning a lock sounded. Chuuya looked up from his clenched hands. Dazai walked in, set his coat down, and sat beside the ginger. 

 

"Did you like my gift?" He asked softly, wrapping his arms around the smaller. It was domestic and sweet, this moment. 

 

"It was cute." He rubbed circles in the other's back. "Is everything ok?" 

 

Dazai sat in silence for a minute. "I think we need to be more careful." He responded.

 

Chuuya looked at him confused, and shifted to worry, "What happened? Was it the Agency, no, The port? Did they see you leave here, who was it?" He stammered out. 

 

"Calm down. I ran into Mori a few times, he mentioned me leaving the apartment complex." He explained. I've been bluffing for now, but I think we need to be more cautious." They looked at one another in thought. While neither of them knew what it could lead to, they weren't willing to find out, one of the unspoken rules of the mafia. "Maybe we should meet at the agency more often, they're laid back. Or at random places."  

 

Chuuya nodded in agreement. "You sure the agency is safe, it's a bunch of detectives after all." He questioned. 

 

"Yeah, they don't really care what goes on as long as it isn't harmful to ourselves or others." Dazai spoke.

 

"Ok." 

 

The meetings continued, more centered around Dazai's apartment at the agency, and meeting spots. Lately the pair traveled to neighboring towns and cities to get away from the scrutiny of Yokohama. They still met at Chuuya's still, but not nearly as often.  After not running into more mafia members in a while they thought they were free. 

 

◇♤◇

They thought they were free.

 

Chuuya stood in Mori's office, the grand view of the high windows had the best of Yokohama to see, veering away from the worse, more criminal part of what they would call home. "Do you know why I called for you Chuuya?" The boss said, no hint of emotion as he glared out the window. 

 

"I'm not precisely sure, I would assume it's regarding a recent or future mission." He stood straight as the Bosses face calmed.

 

Mori shook his head and laughed. "How's Dazai?" 

 

Chuuya froze and stiffened up, he wasn't one to hide his emotions. "Why do you ask?" He responded. No point in lying really, the mafia could get anyone to look into this, a random pedestrian could be a hidden member, or cameras could unveil any secret. 

 

"I found him as a child, and saw him as similar to my own, I'd like to know what he's up to these days." The dark haired man walked up to Chuuya. "How is he?" He asked again. 

 

"Good, happy I suppose. Indifferent in most things." Chuuya spoke. Mori nodded. 

 

"I don't mean to step over personal boundaries, but how would you describe your relationship to him? Currently, of course." The air was heavy, Chuuya stayed silent for a moment. He had just seen Dazai last night, he would have been so much better in this situation. "Romantic?" Mori prodded. 

 

"O-Of course not!" Chuuya stammered out as his hands flew out. "More like old friends. We stayed with no contact for years, now it's a rekindled friendship." He explained quickly as he threw out words. 

 

"That's sweet," Mori paused, it turned into a darker atmosphere. "But please don't lie to me Chuuya. You're a loyal member of the Port Mafia, don't make that reputation waiver here." 

 

Chuuya was stiff. Should he try to justify a lie, what did Mori want from this, what should he do? His head pounded with questions. "Why would I lie to you?" He made his decision.  

 

Mori signed, in a normal situation it would have seemed happy. "Ok Chuuya, I see. " Mori looked at him dead-on, "Strip, just your shirt. Show me proof." 

 

It was really a simple request, but in the situation, so much would come to light,he had been with Dazai last night, the marks around his shoulders would still be visible. Chuuya could lie his way out of this, he doesn't see why this was so important to the Mafia's business, or why he needed to be involved with personal affairs. 

 

Nonetheless, standing in shock wasn't really an option. He started slowly removing layer by layer. Mori watched on intensely as Chuuya took off the large overhanging coat, then the bolero, followed by the gray vest. He hesitated as he got to the top button of his shirt, glancing at his discarded clothes, he let out a sigh. He had gotten smarter since his younger days, he could make up any excuse, and becoming master of white lies was essential in his lifestyle. 

 

He continued down the shirt. Undoing the seven buttons and discarding it to the side along with the other articles. He stayed silent as Mori walked up to him and behind him. 

 

"You've always had such a petite figure, but such nice muscle structure," Mori said as a cold hand grazed Chuuya's back. "It looks to me that Dazai must admire that." Mori stated, a flush of red covered chuuyas cheeks as he heard the last part of the statement. Mori continued studying Chuuyas back. "It's so very childlike, your body, so small and thin." The presence of the boss behind him felt unnatural, and odd. For a moment he could have sworn he felt Mori's breath on the back of his neck. "I've always admired it." Moris words fell out in the most uncomfortable way possible. 

 

He stayed tense as he spoke, "If you don't mind, I'd like to cover up." His arm twitched as Mori's cold fingertips touched his bicep. He wanted to turn to see the boss, but a feeling of fear locked him in place. 

 

"No need to be so tense, I'm still a doctor after all. I've seen countless bodies in all states." Chuuya nodded, thankfully Mori walked back to his seat, overlooking Yokohama basking in the dimming sunlight. Chuuya began to dress himself once again, facing away from Mori, he felt it was more private. However, he could still feel Mori's eye rake his back. "Sorry to intrude on personal matters. However, there is a document on your desk detailing your next assignment." And just like that the overwhelming tension dimmed. 

 

Chuuya set the oversized coat on his shoulders, they relaxed a bit as he turned to Mori. He placed the hat over his chest, "Understood."  Mori waved a hand of dismissal. 

 

◇♤◇

 

Chuuya always kept a bottle or two of wine lying around his house, always. That was the only alcohol he really drank, every once and a while he would pick up some fireball or brandy. But nowadays a bottle of Japanese whiskey also adorned his liquor cabinet. Chuuya likes to drink a lot, and Dazai also prefers a drink here or there. As they like to say, it's always better to drink together instead of alone. And two people dealing with plenty of stress from work, conflicting jobs, and an unstable relationship, like to unwind from time to time. 

 

So that's how they spent a lovely Thursday afternoon. Watching movies and playing a game of shots. By the end of it all they were tipsy, not really considered drunk, but a ways from being sober, it was also 12:40 am. 

 

Dazai was used to sleeping over at Chuuya's, he was here entirely too often according to the homeowner. At first, he was only allowed on the couch, uncomfortable for someone an average height at least, but thankfully, he's been able to sleep in the bed next to his ex-partner.

 

Just like tonight, where they collapsed on the bed next to each other. Chuuya faced away from the taller as he rested on the mattress, sleeping. Dazai, in his insomniac nature, laid away, staring at the strands of Chuuya's hair, playing with the shorter strands and eventually twisting the long lock into a braid. A glimmer of moonlight showed through his blackout curtains, highlighting the shorter's body,  his shirt raised up just a bit to expose a few inches of his midsection, and his sweatpants loose. Dazai places his hand on the exposed skin, cold fingers sending a jolt through the sleeping body, a light snore followed. Dazai leaning behind the redhead breathing in the smell of alcohol and cologne, moving his hand up and down Chuuya's waist, fingers dancing under the loose shirt and back down to the looser pants. A groan fell past the other's lips as he swatted the hand away. 

 

Dazai retracted, "chibi~" 

 

"No, if you can't keep your hands to yourself you can go back to the couch." He spit out in a half asleep voice. 

 

"Not the couch, Chuuya, how could you suggest something so cruel!" Chuuya turned over with a deadpan expression.

 

"Would the floor be better?" A yawn tumbled out.

 

"You hurt me." Dazai toyed. 

 

"And you don't let me sleep." The redhead turned back to his side. 

 

"But Chuuya!" Dazai wrapped his arms around the slim waist. 

 

"Shut up!" He groaned. 

 

"Fine, but give me a kiss goodnight." Dazai pouted. Chuuya wished and turned back around, pecking Dazai on the lips and quickly turning back.

 

"Now go to sleep you ass."  

◇♤◇

 

Now that Mori had found out about his 'meetings' with Dazai, they would need to be very careful. After his talk with Mori, he feels uncomfortable every time he sees the older man, and Mori always sends a smile towards him, it seems despicable and wicked in a way. Chuuya had worried that Mori would spread the news to Koyo, but she had not been acting strangely toward him yet, so he assumed the boss kept it a secret. More importantly, he didn't want such a thing to interfere with his missions, neither of them could really predict Mori's actions. These were all issues they knew they would have to face if they continued this path.

 

"And you're sure none of your coworkers mind me being here?" Chuuya asked as he laid across Dazai’s sofa.

 

Dazai, walking back from the kitchenette spoke, "I've had a few questions about it, but nothing too big." He paused, laying a hand on Chuyas cheek," and certainly no complaints." 

 

"What kind of questions?" He batted away the hand. 

 

Dazai laughed, "Atsushi, the tiger kid, asked who you were, and our amazing doctor, Yosano, was a little cautious, but I told her that we go back." Dazai thought for a minute, "Kunikida was also cautious, but he knows how our abilities work, he's a worry-wart though, also, Kenji wanted to say hi." Dazai nodded as he finished off. 

 

Chuuya was quiet for a moment. " Don't worry, they know you're not trying to blow the whole place up, slow something, just because we have conflicting work doesn't mean we have to have conflicting lives." Dazai moved Chuuya's legs to the side and sat at the other end. Chuuya nodded. 

 

The room fell quiet for a moment. "Mori found out." He blurted out. 

 

Dazai looked over, slightly surprised, more for the sudden noise than anything else. 

 

"I'm not surprised, he's had his hunches. There's also been evidence, I'm sure." The taller said, unamused. "Did he explain it? How he found out I mean." He followed up. 

 

"I'm pretty sure he had a guess, but remember the last time you came over?" The redhead started. Dazai nodded, "Yeah so we had sex and shit, and you left a fuck ton of hickeys you know?" Dazai nodded again, the pieces falling together mentally. "So he asked if we had a romantic relationship l, and I said no, and he was like 'prove it' and so he made me take my shirt off and yeah." He rambled on. Dazai laughed a little. He stopped almost immediately, the look of regret plastered on Chuuya's face told a different story. 

 

"Mori didn't do anything weird, right?" Dazai asked urgently. The smaller man turned away, not wanting to meet the taller eyes. "Chuuya, he didn't do anything to you right?" Dazai stood up and knelt by Chuuya. 

 

"No, no nothing happened." He said, honestly, nothing happened, but it just felt wrong. He didn't have a way to explain it. 

 

"Then why do you make that face," He paused, "if something happened, please tell me. I'd murder everyone I'm that organization, just to make you happy." A small smile made its way to Chuuyas face, it sent a small wave or relief through Dazai. 

 

"When I took off my shirt it was really uncomfortable." Chuuya said. He almost immediately regretted it, such a little thing was no reason to worry Dazai, but he continued, "He kept complimenting my body, and he said he admired it. He touched me and I felt so…exposed." He said. 

 

Dazai looked at him for a moment. "He made you uncomfortable?" Chuuya nodded. "Unnecessarily uncomfortable?" Chuuya nodded again. "Are you ok?" Chuuya once again nodded. "Do you want me to do something about it? I can do whatever you want me to." Chuuya shook his head. "Ok" Dazai said, he wrapped his arms around Chuuya and held him. 

◇♤◇

 

It's been years since he walked the grand halls of the Mafia headquarters, years away from its vast halls and lonely ambiance and he could still point out hidden routes and shortcuts to any wing. He made his way to the top, turning down random halls just to dig through memories. He was famous amongst the Mafia, everyone has heard of Mori's demon subordinate who betrayed him. 

 

He grew up in these halls, they shaped him. Mori's office was no different, the same route and the same doors. He stood in front of the doors, locked with guards on the outside. They stood straight and tall, an omen to unwanted visitors. Dazai remembered these two, respected ability users who must've gotten a promotion. 

 

"Allow me in would you?" Dazai asked playfully.

 

 The left guard summoned a knife to his hand, "State your name and purpose." Dazai spoke his mind, he was sure he worked with them multiple times. 

 

"Fine, Dazai Osamu," the guards exchanged looks. "Mori summoned me here from the agency." He finished.

 

"Proof?" Asked the right guard. 

 

Dazai signed and took a step forward. "Look, I'm not trying to start anything. Just let me in so I can get this over and done."  The left guard held up the knife to Dazai.  The right guard's hand grew three times their size.

 

Dazai seemed to laugh. "We both know that isn't going to work on me. I can put in the code myself. Just step aside before this gets worse." Dazai spoke in a commanding tone, he often used it in the Mafia. He knew these two wouldn't stand down, their job was to guard Mori with their lives. 

 

Eventually, after a moment, the left guard dissipated the knife and took a talking device out. "Dazai is out Herr, he said you requested to see him." 

 

Through the muffled static he heard Mori speak, "Let him in." 

 

"Yes Sir." Dazai walled through the doors as he met Mori. 

 

"Glad to see you could make it." He paused as Dazai looked over the view of Yokohama. "I'm sure there was no trouble getting here." Dazai agreed with the statement. 

 

He looked over to Mori, "Why did you call for me?" He asked. He seemed blunt and impatient. 

 

Mori took a breath. "I'd like you to terminate your relationship with Chuuya." 

 

Dazai shouldn't have been surprised at the request, he knew it would most likely involve Chuuya. "I'll have to say no." Dazai said back. 

 

Mori smiled, "I know you won't give up without a fight, but we both know it's only going to end terribly for the two of you. The light and dark aren't meant to mingle." Mori spoke. 

 

"Why does it concern you?" Dazai asked, pride in his soul. 

 

"Chuuya is my second in command, I need to monitor him. The fact it's a relationship with you makes it even harder. He needs to devote himself completely, without outside interference." 

 

"And you consider me an interference." Mori agreed . "Well I guess you'll have to find a new second hand man, because I'm not leaving him." Mori shook his head. 

 

"Please understand how I see this." Mori explained. 

 

"Don't care." Dazai said bluntly. "I've seen him redden the water at his feet for the sake of the mafia, he's done it once and he'll do it again. He's loyal to the Mafia, but don't misplace his trust."  

 

Mori smiled, "Chuuya is practically meant for the Mafia. He's a weapon, a killer, that's his nature, you can't stop it." 

 

A light gust of wind flew through the silent room. Littering of a child's drawing spread through the room. Along with crayons, red and purple and black. 

 

"Chuuya is more than that. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be taking my leave." He walked to the door and paused. "Don't fucking touch him." 

 

Dazai walked through the doors, leaving Mori. He chuckled darkly. "So he's chosen to do things the hard way." 

 

◇♤◇

 

The uncanny feeling of being watched followed him through the streets. He knew who it was, or at least where the command was from. Saying no to Mori could be a dangerous thing, but he grew in that danger. He could always go back and cut things off, go back to the sleepless nights and wandering thoughts. 

 

But, he had come too far. He finally fixed his mistakes and healed his relationship with Chuuya. It had been four months since he first ran into Mori again, and two weeks since Mori called him to the dark towing figure of the Port Mafia, calling him to cut off his newly mended tie. He couldn't leave again, even if it cost Chuuya the Mafia. 

 

Sometimes he wakes up in the night beside Chuuya and thinks. Sometimes admiring his beauty, maybe his strength, questioning what it would be like if he never sought out the ginger again. Mostly he just looks at him happily, knowing Chuuya could be whatever he wanted, do whatever he wanted, no matter what stood in the way, and yet he laid beside him.

 

That side of things remains comfortable and calm. The bickering fits and stabs at one another continued, neither of them would think it would ever end. That was fine between them, it was a love language between the two. Dazai intended on keeping it that way, regardless of organizational differences. Unfortunately, Chuuya is a man stuck in his ways. Trying to convince him of options outside of the mafia was… difficult. 

 

"I can get your record clear, and you can just join the ADA." Dazai offered it as if it was the easiest thing in the world. 

 

"I have a life with the Mafia. I have friends and subordinates and others who I care about. Leaving the Mafia would be a difficult thing." Chuuya would argue back.

 

"Yeah I know, you're the strongest thing to walk through the doors of those buildings, they can't really just let you leave." Dazai sighed. 

 

Chuuya nodded, "Besides, Mori already is suspicious since he found out about our…relationship. It would be difficult for both of us If I left."

 

"Obviously it wouldn't be easy." 

 

"I don't want to make war between the ADA and the Port. I'm not willing to see the faces of my soldiers from the other side. I've trained far too many of them." Chuuya said almost defeated. 

 

Dazai started to stare off. He could still remember the faces of so many from that time. His youth desensitized all he felt for those lifeless bodies. Chuuya could always feel so much more than him. He remained so much more human. "It's only a matter of time until something turns," He laid his head onto Chuuya for just a moment, "Promise that you'll stay on my side for it." 

 

Chuuya smiled, "as long as you stay on mine. Right partner?" Dazai smiled as he closed his eyes. 

 

"Of course." Dazai paused. "We should run away together."

 

"You're dumb. We have jobs, and we already said neither of us would or could quit. We would always be running." Chuuya was serious, getting louder with his words as he continued. "It would be so troublesome." 

 

Dazai laughed a little, "Maybe just for a weekend or something. Loosen your bones." 

 

Chuuya let out a sigh. "That would be great, but I would need to talk to the Boss about it. He always has me on call."  

 

"Just don't show up." Chuuya rolled his eyes at the suggestion. 

 

"When?" Chuuya asked. Pulling out his phone from his pocket.

 

"Next weekend?" Dazai pondered. Chuuya nodded. 

 

Executive Nakahara: I would like to request four days off for next weekend. 

 

Boss Man Mori: Interesting. May I ask for a bit of context?

 

Executive Nakahara: I would like to keep it as a personal issue.

 

Boss Man Mori: Does this happen to evolve Dazai?

 

Chuuya sighed, " I really don't want Mori to know much about this." Dazai looked onto the screen and hummed in agreement. "I can't really lie though. He'll find out and then it’ll be hell coming back." 

 

"Always so loyal." Dazai amused.  

 

Executive Nakahara: Yes

 

Boss Man Mori: I see. Have a nice time. I will see you tomorrow afternoon. 

 

Chuuya laid back on the couch, eyes closed as he set down his phone. "Where do you want to go?" In the back of his mind he worried about it, Mori normally would press further, he decided it would be an issue for later, he had a weekend away to plan anyway.

◇♤◇

 

Chuuya would have never expected it to be so hard to plan a two day trip with another person. It didn't help that he had been working more than usual, a new ungrounded gang uprising that hasn't let him sleep. Dealing with the whims of Dazai was another series of waves. They had planned to go to Nagoya. While both of them had been working together and separately before, it was hard to fully appreciate the area. 

 

There was so much packed in the major city, and Dazi wanted to see it all with Chuuya. He spoke about visits and tours and shops and so much more than Chuuya could handle. He really just wanted to spend the time with him. To walk the city streets free of the stress from Yokohama, and appreciate what they have rebuilt. 

 

So far they have decided to travel by train and transit and enjoy more of the nightlife when they get there, and enjoy the historical side the following day. Leaving on Thursday and returning Sunday, is what Dazai had planned,which has been specified to Mori. Saturday would be Dazai’s day, filled with Chuuya being pulled between streets and other things by Dazai, enjoying all of what Nagoya could offer. Sunday Morning was up in the air and so was specifics. They had time to plan and enjoy it, and that is what mattered the most. Dazai booked a hotel and a few tickets for Saturday. 

 

The whole thing left Chuuya with a sense of excitement and something misplaced, worry maybe. Long missions and unexpected attacks have left him with a sense of paranoia for everything. It was a feeling he couldn't shake while packing his bag, 

 

He held one of his nicer shirts, a maroon color that was almost silky, he stood staring at it, lost in thought.

 

Ring 

 

Caller ID: Boss Man Mori

 

Ring

 

He picked up the phone and sighed. “Yes?” A hint of annoyance played in his voice.

 

“Good Afternoon Chuuya. I don't mean to bother you, But you seemed to have left your hat at your desk this afternoon. I can see that it remains unharmed during your trip if you’d like?” 

 

Chuuya stiffened up and placed a hand on his head. ”Oh my, I didn't even realize, I’ll be by to get it.” 

 

“Ok, It will be in your office, Have a nice trip.” Again the feeling of worry creeped up to him, he brushed it off as he grabbed his coat and walked out. He would remember it as a cool Yokohama night. 

 

◇♤◇

 

Thursday 

 

He woke up lazily to warm rays of sun, he could hear light footsteps outside his door as he turned to his side. The door creaked open and a figure walked in, laying beside him. Chuuya melted into the new weight and warmth. 

 

“You need to get up, snail. We have a long trip set for today!” Dazai said excitedly, slightly shaking Chuuya. 

 

He groaned as he rolled over to face Dazai, who gave the half asleep Chhuya a peak on the forehead.

 

“Sometimes I wish you were dead,” He paused as he propped himself up, “What time is it?” 

 

“7:05 AM.” Chuuya let out another groan as the bandaged man got up from the bed, pulling open a curtain.

 

Nonetheless, he was awake. Once out of bed he got dressed and grabbed his bag, lightly packed for the small trip, Dazai bag laid on the couch, haphazardly placed. Dazai walked to the counter and grabbed a few small packages, little snacks before the great embarkment. He threw one to Chuuya, who slowly opened it.

 

Moments later, they were gone, Chuuya's apartment was locked and snack packages discarded. It was about a fifteen minute walk from the apartment to the train station they needed to be at. Dazai spent the time teasing the shorter and messing with his hat, Chuuya on the other hand, checked up on the hotel and car reservations, making sure things moved forward smoothly.

 

Once there, they realized the train station was bustling with life, it must've been a busy weekend, the warm weather floated in and spring stuck its head around the corner, people had plenty to celebrate. They eventually managed to get to their seats, tickets in hand as they put away the bags. They had a long ride ahead of them, but it would be worth it. 

 

◇♤◇

 

They arrived in the active nightlife of Nagoya. Once in the grand city, they located the car rental service and moved onto their hotel, Chuuya driving of course. Setting down the bags, they talked. 

 

"This is so lavish, did we really need this." His hand caressed a beautifully crafted wooden side-table, adorned with a gold and white lamp. 

 

Chuuya set his bag on the couch, and wrapped his arms around Dazais neck, "I wanted to make the most of this weekend." He laid his head on the taller chest, "We probably won't get to do this much." His tone was somber. 

 

Dazai wrapped his arms around the shorter's back and rested his head upon the others, He hummed in agreement to the comment. "So what's the plan for tonight?" He asked after a moment. 

 

After a shrug, "I'm not sure, find a bar, have a few drinks, crash. Just settle for the night." 

 

"There was a cool looking bar on the way here, I think a few blocks away." He looked down at the ginger, "Sound nice?" 

 

Chuuya nodded and pulled away, looking in his bag for his wallet and room key. "We should probably walk, I don't want to end up crashing a rental." Dazai laughed and agreed. Soon later they headed out. 

 

They walked side by side to the bar. Chuuya was in a baggy sweatshirt and fitted black jeans, along with his hat and chocker. Dazai wore baggy sweatpants and a loose fitted shirt and an unzipped jacket over his shoulders. It was a seven minute walk, give or take, but Dazai remembered the way well from the earlier drive, thankfully. 

 

Once the wall was over they entered it, Sinner's Secret. It seemed to have an older ambiance, but maintained the night life feel still. They sat at the bar together.

 

"What can I get for you two tonight?" The bartender seemed like a nice older man. 

 

"Whiskey for me, and…" His voice trailed off as he looked at Chuuya.

 

"Make it two, Thank you."  The bartender nodded and turned away. 

 

"You're not a whiskey drinker Chuuya, at least normally. No wine for you?" Dazai teased. 

 

Chuuya rolled his eyes with a smile, "I'm gonna beat you at your own game, and drink you under the table." 

 

Dazai laughed at the plan, "Really? We both know you aren't the best at holding your liquor."

 

"Shut up, You'll be saying something different when you're shitfaced and I'm perfectly fine."

 

"I'm sure." Dazai said, laughing lightly at his ginger companion. A moment later two small glasses with an auburn liquid were set in front of them. Dazai nodded to the older man, a silent thank you. 

 

Chuuya shot down most of the glass, slamming the rest back to the table, with an unnecessary volume. Dazai took a light sip, a warm smile appearing on his face. 

Chuuya took the last sip of it and asked for another. This continued for the night, by the end, Chuuya had five glasses of whisky and a couple of shots of fireball. Dazai had two glasses and one shot of fireball, which Chuuya had convinced him to shot down with him. Overall, an eventful night in the city, which ended on Chuuya leaning on Dazai for the majority of their walk back to the hotel. 

 

Walking back to the hotel was really a treat, Chuuya attempting to flirt and Dazai reassuring him that it was definitely working. Some stumbling footsteps and sputtering words could be heard from the pair as they walked the unfamiliar streets. After a while, they made it back, unlocking the door and turning on the lights. Chuuya drunkenly made his way to the bed, turning through a door on the side, stripping on the way. Dazai sighed, locking the door back and picking up the discarded clothes, placing both their shoes together beside the doorway. Chuuya sat on the bed in just his boxers, his hands on his knees as his legs hung off on his side. 

 

"Dazai." 

 

"Yes?" He walked in the room, discarding his jacket, walking to his side of the bed. 

 

"Dazai Osamu?" Dazai pricked up and rushed to the other's side.  

 

Ok his knees he looked up at the other, "Are you ok?" It was so rare to hear his full name, a panic crept up. 

 

Chuuya smiled, red in the face, "I'm so lucky to have you." He wrapped his arms around the concerned man. Dazai loosened up, wrapping his own arms around the other as well. Chuuya let go and pulled the other up into a kiss, sloppy and lazy, but a kiss. Dazai stood up, breaking the kiss, Chuuya scooted back, allowing space for the taller man. 

 

Dazai leaned back for a second kiss, more feverish as he placed a hand on Chuuya's side, the other on his cheek. 

 

Chuuya broke the kiss, arms hung around Dazais neck as he fell to the mattress dragging Dazai along with him. Clear blue eyes looked up in brown, a smile plastered on his face as he fidgeted with the curls resting on Dazai's neck. Once again, the taller one leaned down to leave a smear of kiss from Chuuyas mouth to the side of his lips, trailing to his neck. He sucked and locked at the pale skin, leaving purpling marks in his wake. He went back up nibbling at the other's ear, earning a squirm from the ginger. 

 

Chuuya could feel the grin on the brunette's face as he went back to spreading hickeys on his neck. He rolled his hips down, a small whimper falling from Chuuya's lips at the motion. Dazai did it again, testing the waters. Chuuya rocked up, attempting to meet him halfway, just to have the timing off. Dazai removed his hand from Chuuyas face to unbuckle his belt, as he still had his pants on, and the palm at the smaller man. "Dazai-" he yelped at the contact. 

 

"Yes, love?"  He rolled his hips back down as Chuuya opened his mouth. 

 

"Ahhhgh" an uncompleted noise was all that Chuuya could muster in the moment. Dazai discarded his pants and pulled Chuuya’s boxers off in a quick motion. He jerked the smaller man's election, toying with the head and moving his hand up and down slowly. He moved down to it, locking at the head and down the length of it, he popped it into his mouth. He worked at his sucking at just the tip for a moment before taking in a portion of the length, getting deeper with each movement. Chuuya threw his head back as his fingers tangled in dark wavy hair. He felt close as Dazai continued at his pace, getting faster by the minute. His fingers curled hard into the locks and he pushed down slightly, but Dazai backed away. He took the election out of his mouth and left light kissed on the pale thighs surrounding it. He left little bites and small hickeys as Chuuya groaned, hands flying back to his own face, covering the redness.

 

Dazai went back up to miss the ginger, softly and gentle, his hand gripping at the other's ass. He brought his finger to the ginger's mouth and he gladly accepted it, spending a moment to suck and lick at it, before it was brought down to his rim, he could feel it, circling the muscle before pushing in, with a moan, Chuuya arched his back upward. 

 

"Calm down Chibi, we are just getting started." Dazai said, working the finger in and out of Chuuya. Soon he added a second one, scissoring and curling inside. He worked Chuuya with the two pincers for a while, careful not to hurt the smaller man. 

 

"Hurry up Dazai." Chuuya said between breaths. 

 

"What do you want me to hurry up? You're very needy." Dazai teases, adding a third finger to the tight ring. He worked it open even more brushing against Chuuya's prostate, each yells and moans as the ginger dug his nails into Dazai's arm., reducing him to a red muttering mess. 

 

Chuuya tried to glare at him, which only incited a laugh "Come on, you need to tell me what you want." 

 

"Fine, just fuck me already!" Dazai pulled out the fingers leaving a feeling of emptiness with Chuuya, as he walked over to the drawer on the nightstand, pulling out a small bottle. He poured some of the liquid on his dick as he lined up to Chuuya, he stroked himself for a minute or two before giving Chuuya’s ass a slap and sticking his erection inside the ginger. 

 

A low moan was heard from either one as Dazai pushed in. He slowly went in, before bottoming out, he waited for Chuuya to adjust, and after a nod he slowly moved again. He moved in and out at a slow pace at fists, eventually picking up speed with encouragement from Chuuya.  

 

"Faster, Dazai, Harder, please." A slur of words fell out as Dazai grabbed onto the gingers hips and fucked hard. He slammed into the Ginger, screams and intangible words flew out with each thrust. Chuuya gripped onto his back clawing at it and leaving reddening lines across Dazai's back. "Dazai, yes, please aim so close." Dazai kept going, keeping the pace up as Chuuya released with a shrill cry,  after a few more thrust, he also released and slowed down, carefully working it all out. He pulled his dick out and plopped beside the spent ginger. Dazai pulled a cover over them and they slept like that. 

◇♤◇

 

Friday 

 

The sun was bright and warm as it showed through the white curtains. Chuuya threw an arm over his eyes with a groan as he rolled over. Through his barely lidded eyes he saw Dazai. What a rare occasion, to see him sleep past Chuuya. The sweet feeling of sleep was pushed away as Chuuya brought a hand to the other's face.  The brunette flinched at the touch, eyes still closed. Chuuya took it in, steady breaths and settled eyelashes, peaceful and safe. It didn't last long once the ginger moved his hand away, the loss of warmth fluttering open warm brown eyes. Chuuya could get lost on them so often. 

 

"Morning." His voice was small as it carried the weight of slumber. Soft smile adorned their faces, "What time is it?"  It seemed more like a slur of words, but Chuuya could make it out. 

 

He looked over his shoulder for the answer, eyes blinded in the sun once again before fixation on the clock in the nightstand, "9:40." Dazai groaned and rolled over. 

 

"Plenty to do today." He said more to himself followed by a yawn. 

 

Getting ready didn't take long, at least for Dazai. Chuuya, who had each of his outfits picked for each day, still didn't know what to wear. He settled on the outfit he had planned for the day after 15 minutes of questioning it. They left the hotel at 10:40 after showering  and getting dressed. They stopped at a little bakery and got coffee and a small snack. Chuuya with a black americano and bagel, and Dazai with a mocha caramel frappuccino and blueberry muffin.

 

"I'll never understand how you start your day with a shot of sugar." Chuuya said, rolling his eyes. 

 

"I try to enjoy what I can, unlike your strong shot of energy." Dazai shot back. He took a sip of the sugary drink with a smile, "Where's the first place we're going anyway?" He asked as they walked the busy streets.

 

"The Aichi Museum of Art, and then the Nagoya War museum. " He read from his phone, notes and plans jotted down in his notes. 

 

◇♤◇

 

By the time they were done with the two museums, they looked for a place to eat something. It was 2:40 and they decided on a modern Japanese restaurant around the corner.  Chuuya deciding on champon and Dazai ordering ginger pork. 

 

Soon they headed to their next destination on the other side of the city, and called a cab. 

 

"Where to now slug?" The taller said as he laid back into the seat of the cab. 

 

Chuua sent him a light punch as he opened his notes, "The Yamazaki Mazak museum, another art museum." 

 

"And after that?" 

 

"I'm starting to get the feeling you don't want to be here with me." Chuuya said playfully. 

 

Dazai sighed and leaned on the ginger. "Of course I do, but museums can be so boring!" He said with a pout. 

 

A light laugh escaped from the shorter, "You agreed to this." 

 

"Yeah, Yeah I know. What's the one after that other one?" He asked as he looked at the notes.

 

Chuuya was quiet for a moment as he looked through the jotted thoughts, "The Nishinimaro Okaru History Museum. It's the last one, then we can head back and do whatever you want I guess." He answered. 

 

"Oooh whatever I want, how fun." 

 

"You know what I mean, stop being weird." He said with a hit to Dazai's side. 

 

Dazai let out a yawn once they walked out of the last museum  and he looked at his phone. 9:05 pm. Chuuya called up another cab to take them back to their hotel. The last place was on the outskirts of town, and it would be that way for a while during the trip back. 

Luckily, it didn't take long for the vehicle to arrive, a black unmarked car with tinted windows. Chuuya greeted the driver, who almost seemed nervous. They eagerly went inside the car and relaxed. 

 

Chuuya took his hat off and leaned his head back. "All those museums make you tired?" Dazai joked. The ginger tossed the hat at him, eyes closed. Dazai caught it, of course, and spun it around his finger. "I've got so much fun stuff planned for us tomorrow!" He said still spinning the hat. 

 

It went around a few times before he violently stopped it. Chuuya heard it and opened his eyes to see ip upside down. Dazai's hand was in the hat, picking at something on an inside seam. After a moment and some light from Chuuya's phone screen, he pulled out a small black square. 

 

"Is this…Is this a tracker?" Dazai's voice was quiet as he asked the question, looking at Chuuya's face. The feeling of dread washed through him. He turned to the driver, who gripped hard at the wheel. Dazai looked back to the contraption. "You didn't know this was here right?" Chuuya shook his head. Dazai nodded and placed it between his fingers. He stared at it for another moment and crushed it between his fingertips. 

 

Boom 

 

A flash of white erupted from the vehicle, and a ringing exploded in his ears. Heat surrounded him and he latched onto Dazai, was this it, they were going to die?

 

After a moment he could see and hear and partially feel, despite the numbness in his limbs. He was on the ground, and Dazai was next to him, he scrambled up to the other's side, crawling frantically to hold him. He pulled the body onto his lap, he was unconscious. There was a panic in Chuuya before his saw the other chest rise and fall. He held his face. 

 

"Please, please, please Dazai, hey Dazai wake up, come on." He whispered the pleas. After a moment, the brunette's eyes fluttered open to stare back at watering blue eyes. Chuuya saw it and squeezed him. Blood covered his right shoulder. The bandages on his neck soaked in red and a bit of skin seemed to be seared off. 

 

"Chuuya…Chuuya" His voice was week as he uttered the name, he coughed once and then again, red smeared on his face. 

 

"Just live…ok?" His voice shook as he whispered out the words, "Just live." His body rocked back and forth,the battered body that laid in his arms emitted shakes and vibrations, weak limbs just couldn't stay still. Chuuya appreciated the small movements from the body, a sign of life. 

 

And hand reached to cradle his face. "I think this is actually it. I don't think we can both get out of this one." Amber eyes looked calmly into blue ones. 

 

Chuuya shook his head violently, "no, you-we are going to make it, and we will live happily ever after, and you're going to love it." With one arm supporting Dazais bath and the other holding his face, he leaned down and connected foreheads. " Just live, you can do it, just like a stray you'll fester back up." Chuuya's body trembled as a sob worked through him, his chest rattled with pain. 

 

"I guess we were really like Romeo and Juliet. What a tragedy." His voice lost strength as he spoke. He coughed a bit once he finished his sentence, and curled toward Chuuya. "You'll get what you wanted,  right, for me to die?" Chuuya shook his head.

"No, no I don't want this, how could I ever. Dazai Please, just live. Osamu, Osamu…" Both his hands cradled Dazai's face, Chuuya whispered softly as he spoke to him. 

 

Dazai pulled his face down, kissing him weakly. "Your lips are so soft I could kiss them all day." Chuuya smiled as tears ran down his face.

 

"Yeah, all day, any day. We just have to get you outta here." Chuuya could feel the hand slip as his arm lost strength. He quickly refined the hand, holding it to his face, he leaned onto it, mixing the blood with tears. His mind stormed with tears as Dazai stayed silent. "Dazai, Dazai, Osamu , Please…don't leave me again Please." He mumbled into the darkness and the cold. No response came as he called out the name. "Dazai please, you need to be here. I need you to be here." His face scrunches and melts as a new realization sets in. His hand pulled at Dazais face, rough and desperate, trying anything to get even a breath out of the other, eyes searching with an unknown madness, darting between each eyelid and cheek and eyebrow, looking for a sign of life. 

 

Nothing was left of Dazai Osamu but a beaten dead corpse. All he can do is hold the lifeless body close, anything that some close blown away to bits from his ability, the thing that will constrain him forever. Chuuya holds it close, sobs erupting from his chest, hours and hours of tears and screams, of anything, wishes and broken promises. He tries to rationalize it, but he can't.  That would be Chuuya's last memory of him, cradled in his quaking arms. He wouldn't be remembered that way. He would be immortalized in the memories of those who knew him. 

 

The night passed painfully slowly, and all that was left by daybreak was a mess of rumble, a corpse, and Chuuya. Chuuya, whose voice was gone and his eyes red as blood, dark circles under the orbs. His hair stuck in every direction, his clothes battered and bloodstained. And his fingers brushed and were covered with scratches and scars. 

 

Saturday

 

Akutagawa and a team were sent to assess the action. Akutagawa, who had nothing to do with it and shed a tear at the news. The subordinates were sent to make sure it was secluded, and a few were meant to keep an eye on Chuuya, to make sure he didn't lash out on mainly Akutagawa.  

 

Akutagawa pulled the corpse from Chuuya's stiff arms, tired but not willing. He walked away and set it on a medical carrier, a black bag zipped over the lifeless face. 

 

Who knew it was that easy to kill the great Dazai Osamu. 

 

Chuuya sat in the rumble. Akutagawa didn't dare approach him, but some foolish subordinate did, which resulted in them getting flung into the nearest tree. Chuuya, who had cried countless tears over the loss of his subordinates, who had worked himself desperately to ensure their safety, sat with an aura of strength which sent waves of fear to those within his proximity. It was hours seemingly of waiting until the ginger just couldn't do it anymore. 

 

A second team was sent in, Koyo and a smaller group of subordinates. She arrived about two hours into the mess, and sent another unlucky man in, once again flying from Chuuya's ability. 

 

"Did you know about this?" Akutagawa hissed to Koyo. The look of dread and sadness gave him an answer.

 

"This was Mori, and Mori alone." She said softly, turning to see the body bag. "I remember when he joined this awful hell, and when he left."  

 

Three hours in and they were done, a measurement needed to be taken. Fury still covered the ginger's face, something akin to an animal in a corner, except he had complete control of the situation and everyone knew. 

 

Koyo was done, Chuuya was always close to her, and she couldn't stand around anymore. She got within the estimated perimeter of Chuuya's anger, unharmed. She walked to the small boy  and knelt beside him. 

 

His face twisted from the anger and melted into a sap as he began crying. She wrapped her arms around him. Akutagawa began hurdling up the remaining standing and injured men. He sent them on their way, this was not to be treated as a loose animal. The only ones to remain included himself, Chuuya, Koyo and the driver of the van carrying Dazai's body.  Chuuya cried to the older woman, another hour and Akutagawa's phone rang. 

 

"Is it running smoothly, it's been hours, do you have any updates?" Mori questioned. Within a second the phone was sliced in half, the dark haired man turned to see golden demon, who bowed and dissipated. He threw the remaining phone to the ground.   

 

Soon sunset approached. Koyo carried Chuuya out of the rumble, he slept in her arms as they walked to the remaining vehicle, and returned to the Headquarters. First, they brought Chuuya to his apartment, and let him rest and then they brought Dazai to the ungrounded morgue. News was sent out to the executives and Akutagawa, addressing a meeting the next day. 

 

◇♤◇

 

Chuuya couldn't stand it, couldn't stand him, so why did every thought of him leave him breathless and smiling. Deep down he has a guess, or more of a fear of what it could have been, it was torture. 

 

All he could do was avoid him, out of sight out of mind, right? Except the bandaged freak was always on his mind, and it only got worse. He could only avoid him so much when they shared an office, lived next to each other in the Port Mafia's apartment complex, and sat beside each other during every executive meeting.  

 

Nights when he was in his thoughts for too long was the worst. Thoughts, terrible thoughts, of his partner's hand running up and down his sides became too much, and the curiosity of the mysterious bandages covering his body was another thing. 

 

After two and half weeks of this mental bullshit, he came to the realization, that deep down fear…

 

it was a stupid crush.

 

How childish. Once he realized it, he could even look the taller boy in the eyes. It really didn't get any better, because his stupid crush was incredibly smart. 

 

"Chibi, you've been avoiding me alot lately?"  Chuuya wiped his head around to see Dazai standing in the doorway to their shared office. He walked in, closing and locking the door behind him, Chuuya gulped as he walked towards him, "Why is that?"

 

"What do you mean? I've been busy, all this executive shit sure came with a bunch of paperwork." Maybe he could lie his way out of it. "No lies you would know, since you never do your paperwork." He thought he was a pretty good liar after all. 

 

"I know why you're lying to me. Chuuya, if there is something we need to talk about, then please don't contain it." A small resemblance of care was in his voice. 

 

"I've been busy Dazai." He continued to look at the paperwork, hoping that the taller boy would just accept it and leave it at that. 

 

Instead, the chair was swiveled around so that they could 'properly see each other', Chuuya yelped at the sudden movement. "Dazai what the hell-" the taller male seemed to cage him on either side of the spinning chair, forcing him to only see him. 

 

"Chuuya." Dazai looked at him dead on, "Please don't lie to me. What's going on?" A warmth spread over the ginger's face, Dazai was entirely too close, all he could do was stare, letting the warmth flood him. He could smell him, and see every detail of his face, small scars barely visible, even smaller freckles dotting his cheeks, which also looked warm. His curled hair looked soft and his lips full, he needed to look away. Dazai leaned closer inspecting the others' faces. "Chuuya." His name sounded so nice as it tumbled from his mouth. 

 

"Dazai…please back off." He attempted to sound even the smallest bit serious and angry, it came out as a weak plea.  Dazai was his partner, he didn't need to be anything more.

 

Dazai stood up, giving Chuuya space. He let out a breath and turned back to his desk. Stay papers , a couple pens and a stapler, all astray on the flat wood. Dazai went behind him and crossed his arms over the other's head, poking into the ginger's work. "Chuuu~ya" He seemed to play with the name. 

 

"Yes, Dazai?" He sighed and signed a paper. 

 

"You're not a very good dog."  He said, leaning on him. 

 

"Maybe because I'm not a dog, you mackerel." Chuuya said as he picked up another paper. And there goes the idea of a silly little crush. 

 

"You agreed to this, to be my dog for life." The brunette claimed, walking over to his desk across the room. 

 

"I hope you die." It was really hard to like someone like that. 

 

"I love you too Chuuya!" He said opening a packet. 

 

"Ew" Just a few moments ago, his heart fluttered at the sight of the taller boy, and now it's full of disgust, what a way to live. 

 

◇♤◇

 

Sunday

 

Waking up was never really a struggle for him. He understood that he needed to wake up, get up, and get going, he didn't see the point in laying miserably in bed, no matter how comfortable or warm, or tired he was. But today was different. 

 

His eyes were still puffy and his face was covered in dried snot and blood and tears. He felt gross, all he wanted was a shower, but he just couldn't get up. To get up and face reality, to wake up from a dream to the living nightmare that awaited his day. It was too much. So he laid there, minutes passed along with thoughts. Too much passed through his head. 

 

Dazai, who dragged him into the mafia, who became his most trusted partner and friend. Dazai, who disappeared over night and after years rekindled what fire they still had, who died in his arms. Dazai, who found him, broke his heart, and then pieced it back together. For the second time in his life, he had his heart broken by the bandaged covered weirdo. Chuuya couldn't shake the feeling, Dazai left him yet again, he wouldn't, couldn't come back.  After all the hurt and all the pain, he still trusted the brunette, and it was snatched away by the one place he has never felt betrayal.

 

 By the time he rolled over to see his clock. He had already been awake for an hour.

 

He took a breath and got up, stumbling a bit and swaying. All he could do was shower and try to get through the day, and then the next day, again and again. Eventually he was done, dressed, and ready to go to the stupid meeting Mori called for. Chuuyas blood boiled at the thought of the older man.  Mori knew that bringing Chuuya to that meeting was dangerous for himself, so he thought about it. Chuuya could kill Mori, and take over the mafia whenever he wanted, he was the strongest, and many of the people inside trusted him, thought ranks. He hoped he could kill that man. 

 

Chuuya walked out, and began his way to the Port. ' Just get the meeting over with ' he thought. 

 

 The room was quiet when he walked in, chuuya felt a heaviness in the air, no one would dare to say anything to him, but he knew it, everyone knew about it, it was important after all. He sat at his seat, the same spot he's sat at for the last six years, ever since he's gotten this position. Ever since he and Dazai would fuck around and only pay half attention to discussions and argue over battle strategies. Ever since he got the news of the Dazai's department and even today, he sits at the same spot. The other executives sat and Akutagawa stood to the side, he had been called upon during these meetings, but was never told to stay the whole duration. Chuuya was all too used to these. His hands were balled on his lap and he looked down to a blank paper in front of him, he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Koyo, who closed her eyes and offered a sympathetic nod. 

 

Shortly after Mori walked into the room. A binder of papers in hand. "Good Morning everyone," Chuuya flinched at Mori's voice. "We have a few things to discuss. Aktugawa, please take a seat." Mori spoke and nodded to a guard standing by the door who walked out and brought a chair, before bowing and leaving the room once again. 

 

"Let's start this out by discussing an issue we have had with the Organized Organ Trades in Kawasaki, shall we?" One of the other executives in the room was charged with it, and offered a portfolio of pages dedicated to it. Maybe Chuuya would have been happier if he was just assigned to stake outs, and research, instead it's all war and bullets. 

 

The next topic arose. "That's lovely, they should be back to normal in the upcoming weeks. Now Koyo, what  updates do we have on the arms dealer to the west?"  Koyo explained an uprising in looting and stealing from others. Chuuya glanced at Akutagawa, who sat patiently, but nervous, he glanced back and gave a worried look. 

 

Another topic came in the spotlight and another and it had been dragging on, Chuuya hadn't said a word. "Before we wrap things up, Koyo, Akutagawa, I would like you to give me a detailed description of yesterday's incident." A jolt flew through Chuuya.  Koyo sent him a worried glance as he looked to his lap, fists tighter. 

 

"Is that necessary right now?"  Koyo asked with a hint of anger. Chuuya's jaw clenched. 

 

Mori displayed a smile across his face, growing wider as he nodded. "Chuuya, would you like to fill us in on any privy information?" His face shot up, it took all of him not to launch a pencil in his eye. 

 

Chuuya could feel all eyes on him. "Dazai Osamu, former Mafia executive and designated traitor, was killed early yesterday. He died around 12:30 am in the outskirts of Nagoya." His voice seemed loud in the quiet room. Everyone knew of Dazai, he was famous amongst the elusive and a few knew him personally, including himself and Koyo. 

 

"How did anyone kill that guy, I thought he was close to invincible." Another executive chimed in. 

 

"There was an bomb, attached to the vehicle he was in. A bomb that covered an extremely small area with loads of force. Most likely like those carries by our own Nagoya bomb dealers." Chuuya said it like a report. He couldn't show any emotion. He knew Mori had kept Dazai and his relationship private between the two, and he wasn't going to try and hint at it. 

 

  "Following that explosion what else happened at that scene. Koyo? Akutagawa?" Mori rested his head on his hands. 

 

"Myself and a small team were sent to retrieve Chuuya, which turned out to be a hard solution that previously thought, and Koyos was called in to help achieve that goal." Akutagawa said calmly, sparing many details. 

 

"Why was Koyo's team necessary, you are normally very capable Akutugawa?" Mori spoke as if it was a game. 

 

The room was quiet for a moment. "Because I didn't allow it." Chuuya said after a moment. Mori sent a question with a devilish smile. The other executives looked on with curiosity. "After you sent that bomb off I refuse to leave. I lashed out, injuring multiple subordinates and putting more in danger. After you killed him I wasn't going to leave." Chuuya said with a newfound fury. He got louder as he explained it. Murmur appeared once he spoke. 

 

"What do you mean Chuuya?" 

 

"You knew I was with him, you knew he was vulnerable, and you took it as time to kill him, and for what?" Chuuya blurted out. 

 

Everyone turned to look at Mori. "You know as well as I do to not discuss things with traitors, even worse forming a relationship with one."  Mori paused, "Dazai did what he needed to do, he had no other use."  

 

Chuuya slammed a fist onto the table, "You're sick. Using people and throwing them away like trash. What do you mean he did what he needed to?"  

 

"He united a pair to continue to restore Yokohama's peace." Realization set on Akutagawa's face as he listened. He didn't feel the need to speak at the moment. 

 

“So he did what you needed and you killed him. He wasn't a bother to us, he has been dormant. It's more of a problem to off him!” Chuuya yelled. 

 

“Chuuya please calm down, you must understand he was just a distraction.” Mori spoke in a sweet tone as he waved his hands slightly in the air. Silent questions hand in the air. 

 

His hands slammed to the table as he stood up, “CALM DOWN? How could you expect me too? I took four days off and you decide to kill a man, to kill that man?! You selfish son a bitch, Fuck you.” Chuuya stormed out of the room, someone tried to stop him, he couldn't tell who, but they were slammed into a wall. He walked through the building leaving a dent in his steps, most of whom he came across felt his presence and got as far away as they reasonably could. He walked out of the building and back to his apartment, knocking things over, silly pictures and a vase of flowers,an empty wine glass and a half full bottle resting on a table.  Anything that remained. 

 

Tears pricked at his eyes as he walk through the walls. "Stupid, Stupid Stupid. Mori, Stupid, Mafia, Stupid Executive, Stupid Dazai" He stood in the room, his bedroom. His bed was still a mess when he collapsed onto it, knees on the ground as his upper halve hung on. "Dazai, Dazai. Stupid Dazai, Stupid me." He heaved as the name flew from his lips. He balled his hands into fists, pressing on the mattress. His knuckles turned white as he laid there.  

 

After a while of self pity and hatred his puffy eyes searched the room. He brung a hand to his skin, blotchy and warm.he sighed and lifted himself off the bed. He changed into a sweater and walked out of the cold apartment. 

 

As he walked the streets he found his destination, the small bar in the shadows of Yokohama, Bar Lupin. This was Dazais favorite drinking spot, he understood why, it was all cozy, and it felt secluded, and he had a history there in those warm walls. Chuuya has been of course, more times than he can count, but this will always be Dazai’s spot. 

 

The familiar barstool was comfortable under him, as he gave the bartender a hello nod. There was a look of sympathy in his eyes, word gets around fast. 

 

"A glass of whiskey please." His voice was barely there. The cold glass was then in front of him, he took a small sip. God he hated the taste of whiskey, the look of disgust was evidently on his face, as the older man gave him a questioning look. He still never understood why Dazai liked the liquor so much, must have been an acquired taste. 

 

He wasn't at the bar long when a familiar presence was next to him. His drinking buddy who didn't drink but instead drag along, Akutagawa. 

 

"It took a while to find you, but I guess I should have known." Akutagawa politely asked for a glass of water between coughs. 

 

"Did Mori send you, or Koyo?" Chuuya asked as he took another sip of the bitter liquid. 

 

"No. I thought I would find you in a bar somewhere, and I know you like to talk when you're tipsy." The small snippet of knowledge made Chuuya smile a bit, not enough to reach his eyes as they remained fixed on the glass in front of him. 

 

"I guess you're right." The black haired man sat silent, ready to hear it all, no one but Chuuya really knew how good of a friend he could be. 

 

"I used to think I was actually a person, capable of having my own feelings and relations, but I guess all that mattered was how many people I could kill in a moment." He paused, Akutagawa was all to familiar with the statement, "I've never really considered myself a person, but I thought I was more than a tool of destruction, I guess I was proved wrong" He took the last sip of the alcohol. "I guess it doesn't really matter in the end, everyone knows I'll stay,  Dazai says" He paused, "used to say I was too loyal for my own good." 

 

Akutagawa sat beside him, a hand hovering over his superiors' back, it was difficult. He rested his hand there, maybe he could comfort him. "I understand. This is harsh news to many of us who have been with the Mafia for years, but I can't imagine what you must be dealing with." His voice was quiet and sincere.  

 

"Thank you Akutagawa. I guess we might have a bit in common. Dazai brought me into the mafia, almost forced me, dammit.  Seven long years.." His voice trailed off as he set his head down to cry, maybe soon he would have no tears left to cry. "Seven long years, the best and worst I'll probably ever have."  

 

Akutugawa almost seemed wide-eyed as he watched the ginger cry again. His body shook each sob out, and his hair was in every direction. He's seen Chuuya cry, drunk and in his own mind, but that could be talked out, this was another thing. The single glass indicated too much. He couldn't do anything besides rub his hand on the older man's back.

 

A moment of peace slipped through,  "I'm going to kill him." A jolt from The raveonettes hand, "I'm going to kill Mori."  Chuuya sat up, and looked at his subordinate. "That is my goal. I promise it here and now, that damn doctor will fall at my hands." There was a look of shock on Aktugawas face, it quickly dissipated.

 

"I'm sure plenty would also pledge to it."

 

"I've put everything into the Mafia, I've done so much, just for it all to come back and stab me in the back, yet again." He rested his head back on the counter. "That asshole, leaving me again."