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1. Do you want to be my friend?
The first of August, 1976.
His heart was becoming heavier and heavier. Scarcely four minutes after entering his brand-new school, Will Byers decided that he didn’t like it. It was too big, there were way too many rooms and corridors and he could not even hide. He could not get into the room without the teacher in – and the teacher had forbidden hiding – and the corridors were empty and dull, not bearing any furniture that could provide a good hiding spot. The school was also, very unfortunately, full of other people. Will had never seen that many kids before. There were boys and girls, in all shapes and sizes, running around in the playground. There were chatting and playing, already making friends with bright laughter and wide smiles.
Will found himself uncapable of approaching the other kids. It was just too scary. What if they didn’t like him? What if they hated him? What if they yelled at him, like his father does? No, it was better to be alone than to make enemies. So, the little boy was sitting alone on a swing, lightly kicking his feet to rock. He didn’t want to look like he had nothing to do, but at the same time he wanted to look friendly. Maybe, maybe one of the kids was nice and would come up to him and…
The little boy sighed. It was all make-believe. Nobody was coming up to befriend him. They probably all knew each other already.
“Hi, can I sit here?” a sudden voice chimed in.
Will startled a little when he heard the voice, violently turning his head to see who had come.
It was a boy his age, with a pale round face, dark hair and dark eyes. Freckles spread all over his cheeks. He was looking unsure and uneasy, like Will wasn’t himself but rather a big and scary monster. That made him lightly chuckled.
“Yes, of course. What’s your name?”
“Michael, but I like Mike better. What’s yours?” responded the boy, sitting on the swing next to Will.
“William, but you can call me Will.” He said with a small smile.
Mike looked at him and smiled too. He had a pretty smile, Will thought. He had stop kicking his feet and was now still on his swing. Only the wind, which was rustling through his hair, indicated the time hadn’t stopped yet.
“Will, do you want to be my friend?” Mike asked very seriously before scrunching his nose like he didn’t like his tone of voice.
A wide and bright smile made his way up to Will’s face and brusquely lighted up.
“Yes!” he said, not believing his luck, “yes, I want to be your friend.”
The two boys burst out laughing and starting kicking their feet to rock themselves on those tiny, little swings. When the teacher called them inside, Will didn’t want to go back into that classroom, full of still unknown kids. But Mike walked up to him with a smile and caring eyes.
“We have to go, it’ll be okay. We can swing again, if you want to.”
Will nodded but didn’t move for all of that. So, Mike took his hand and guided him back to the classroom. The little boy decided that he liked this Mike Wheeler. They stayed like this, hand in hand, for a long time. They both liked the feeling of having the other’s hand on theirs. It was comforting. And familiar, too
2. You're here.
The thirteen of February, 1984.
It was dark and cold. Every time Mike exhaled, his breath would form a white, fuzzy cloud in the freezing atmosphere. Even if he was wearing his warmest winter coat, a hat and scarf the young boy was still feeling like he was slowly transforming into an ice cube. God, he really hated winter! He could not stay outside for too long otherwise he couldn’t feel his feet and hands. It was always dark too soon and that made his mom worry a lot. Usually his liberties shrank during winter, he needed to go home sooner, he was forced to wear ugly and itchy scarfs. Mike really, really preferred summer because the days were long and hot, he could go as he pleased and wear that he wanted.
So, on this Tuesday morning he cursed as he biked his way to school. To make things even worse Mike was late. Again. He was late because he overslept. And he overslept because of a nightmare. It was silly. He was thirteen damn it! He was not supposed to get scared at night when it got dark. He was not supposed to have nightmares this bad. So bad that he found himself unable to go back to sleep. Mike stayed awake for three whole ass hours before collapsing from exhaustion. The young boy was so drained that he slept through his alarm and through his mom’s calls. He was biking way too fast, thighs burning. He knew he was already late, that class had already started but a part of him expected not to be late. When Mike finally turned around a corner and saw the school, he sighed. He was finally here. He was a bit (a lot) late but he was going to find his friends and everything was going to be alright. Mike almost threw his bike on the ground, ran in the building and barged in his classroom.
“I’m so sorry I’m late! I overslept!” he yelled, almost falling on his chair.
Laughs ringed in the class as the teacher told him it was okay. Mike was struggling to catch his breath and turned to his friends to greet them. He smiled at Dustin and at Lucas but when he wanted to wave at Will, he found nothing but an empty desk. A shiver went down his spine. He swallowed thickly.
“Where’s Will?” he whispered to Dustin.
“I don’t know, I assumed he was late.”
“I think he’s with his mom, he wasn’t feeling very well yesterday.” Lucas answered, overhearing his question.
Huh. Mike didn’t like that. Actually, he hated that. He always hated when Will was absent but since his disappearance in the Upside Down, he really, really hated that. He could not help but imagine Will back there again. Alone. Scared. On the verge of death. He knew that the probabilities of Will being in danger were close to zero but that didn’t stop the fear from spreading through his veins like a fire. Mike couldn’t focus for the rest of the class.
When the bell ringed, he jumped out of his chair and ran outside the classroom, earning a few odd looks from his classmates. Usually Mike took his time, he asked questions to his teacher and waited for his friends. He ran all the way to the phone and composed the Byers’ number with shaky hands. Why was he that nervous? Will was okay. He was. He must. He was just sick, like always in winter because he often got the flu. Still, Mike couldn’t shake his bad feeling away. His nightmare was stuck in his brain and glued to his skin like a leech. He needed to be sure.
“Hello, Joyce Byers on the phone.” She didn’t seem panicked. That was a good sign.
“Hi Mrs. Byers, it’s Mike.”
“Oh, hi Mike, how can I help you?” She didn’t seem surprised at Mike’s call either.
“Is Will home? Is he okay? Is he safe?”
“Yes, he is, he wasn’t feeling very well and he had a fever. He’s feeling better though, so he’ll probably be at school tomorrow.”
Oh.
That’s it. He was okay. He was at home. He was safe.
Safe. The word echoed in his head but Mike couldn’t still fully understand it. For some reason, he didn’t trust Mrs. Byers. It was stupid, she was the one who cared the most about Will. She was the one who had kept fighting for her son even when everyone thought he was dead. Mrs Byers wouldn’t lie about Will’s safety, especially not to Mike. But Mike could still see his nightmare flashing in front of his eyes. He could see himself running through those scary woods, screaming at the top of his lungs. He was searching for him. Searching for Will. Expect this time, he didn’t find him. He didn’t.
“Thanks Mrs Byers.” He responded quickly before hanging off.
His heart was still racing. His mind was still fuming.
Fuck it, he thought, before running. Ha was going to see Will, school be damned. Mike found himself knocking at the Byers’ house while the rest of the Party was attending their geography class. When Mrs Byers opened the door, she wasn’t surprised. Actually, she expected him sooner. She had noticed that since Will’s disappearance, Mike was always nervous and twitchy when he couldn’t find his friend.
“Hi Mike, come in. Will is in room, he’s awake. I’ll get you a hot chocolate, okay?” she welcomed him with a small smile.
“Thank you” Mike smiled back.
He liked Mrs Byers. She was nice and cool. She didn’t seem to care that he was supposed to be in school.
He went into Will’s room, knocking before opening the door. The other boy was sitting on his bed, a book in his hands. He put it down when he heard the knocks and lifted his eyes to discover Mike standing there. His cheeks were red thanks to the freezing cold and he was still wearing his now too warm clothes. Will couldn’t help but chuckled at the sight of him.
“Aren’t you hot?”
Mike blushed and mumbled an answer while peeling his clothes off. Then, he sat on the edge of Will’s bed feeling suddenly shy. It wasn’t the first time that he showed up unannounced, so why was he unable to meet Will’s eyes?
“Do you want to talk?” Will asked, sensing his friend’s worry.
“No. Maybe? I don’t really know.” He stammered, still looking at his hands.
“Usually when you say that, you want to talk. Go ahead, you know I won’t judge you.”
At that, Mike lifted his head and met Will’s warm brown eyes. There were so beautiful and so open and Mike’s worry faded away. He began rambling about his nightmare and how he was late to school. How scared he was when he saw Will’s empty desk. At some point during his talk, Will took his hand in his and starting tracing circles on Mike’s skin with his thumb. It was comforting. It was warm.
“I’m here now.” Will softly said. “I’m still here. I promise I’m not going anywhere.”
His hand was still in Mike’s. It grounded him into reality. It was real. His dream – no, nightmare – wasn’t.
“Yeah,” Mike smiled through tears that he hadn’t felt coming, “you’re here.
3. The best thing I’ve ever done.
The third of November, 1984.
He couldn’t tell what was real and what was not. He felt like his mind was infested by parasites, eating what was left of his memories and feelings. He couldn’t trust what he was hearing nor what he was feeling. Besides, it was too hot. The light spots directed to his face were burning him. Well, not really burning him, it was burning it. But whatever it felt, Will felt it too. He didn’t recognize everyone in the room. Was it even a room? If it was a room, it was a weird one. The boy didn’t know where he was, and that was probably for the better. He didn’t want to put his mother in danger. His mother. Will knew her. He also knew his brother, standing beside her with a girl who he didn’t know. She looked like his friend though. She looked like Mike.
He knew Mike. His best friend. He wanted to tell him to run and abandon him. He was not himself anymore, why would he care? But at the same time, Will was feeling very egoistic. He wanted to keep Mike all to himself even if it was dangerous. Even if that put him in danger.
Will was tied up. His mind had been taken over by the Mind Flayer. But he could move his hand to talk through Morse code. God, he really, really hoped that they picked up on that. His mother had finished talking. She talked about something he did when he was younger. He had trouble listening. It was too hot, it was itching all over, he was fighting with the monster in him. But he tried oh so hard to listen to his mom. She kept him awake. Made sure that he was still here and thanks to that, he could talk. He could talk.
She switched place with Mike. His best friend walked closer that she had done. His eyes were shining with tears and memories and it made Will’s heart twitched painfully. He focused. Mike talked about the first time they met. Will remembered parts of it. A shy smile. A hand in his. Laughers on a swing.
“I asked you to be my friend”, Mike said, tears now rolling on his cheeks, “and you said yes.”
Will remembered. He desperately wanted to talk but he couldn’t. It forbad him. His tongue was glued to his palate. He wanted to wipe the tears off Mike’s cheeks.
“You said yes.” He repeated, coming closer.
He took Will’s hand in his. The one that wasn’t tapping on the wood where he was tied up to. The one that was free. Mike had warm hands. He always had warm hands. It made the monster tear his lungs but Will bit on his inside cheek. He liked Mike’s warm hand. I’m here. It was saying. It’s going to be okay.
“It was the best thing I’ve ever done.”
A tear rolled down Will’s cheek as he broke through a piece of the Mind Flayer’s control just to press Mike’s hand in his. The other boy’s eyes widened in surprise. Thank you, it meant, I’m happy you’re here.
It didn’t last long. Mike broke their contact. His brother gently took him by the shoulders and forced him to get back.
It didn’t last long but Will still felt the ghost of Mike’s hand in his. It gave him courage. The courage to continue to fight. He needed to win.
4. Just a nightmare.
The twenty-two of April, 1985.
Mike didn’t remember who had started the pillow fight, but he was sure it wasn’t his idea. Oh, he liked pillow fights for sure but now the Party was way too invested. Mike used to have pillow fights with Nancy when they were younger. And with Will, during their countless sleepovers. But the fights were always somewhat gentle and moderate. There was nothing gentle or moderate about the way they were fighting now. Mike had actually no idea who he was hitting, nor he knew who was hitting him. It was just a blur of pillows being slammed at random and screams and laughers echoing in the basement. It was fun, he had to admit, but also a bit violent. Lucas was hitting at full force and, fuck, Mike had forgotten how strong he was. Max was sneaking behind people to kick them in the back. Eleven was using her powers to use more than one pillow at a time.
In one word, it was chaos.
But, yes, it was fun.
Things started to cool down when his father who decided – what a surprise – to leave his armchair and ask them to be quiet since he couldn’t nap with their constant noises. After that, they abandoned the pillow fight and settle for a movie.
“I hadn’t had this fun since a long time.” Laughed Eleven, falling on a mattress when they picked the movie.
“Yeah, I hadn’t done a pillow fight since my what, five years old?” Responded Max, laughing with her.
Mike’s basement was covered in mattress and blankets and pillows, transformed into a gigantic dorm for the night. It was the first time Hopper had allowed Eleven to sleep outside of their home and Mike was determined to make it memorable. The Party had picked Star Wars, since it was their favourite and Eleven had never seen it, they had a stocks of sweets, chocolates and pop-corn to eat while they watched the movie.
Mike was sitting between Will and Eleven. Close to both of them, enough so he could hear Will mumbling his favourite lines before the characters said them, enough so he could squeeze El’s hand in his. Her hands were not like Will’s at all. They were smaller and rounder and calloused. She often had cold hands, even when it was warm outside. Like now. Her hands were cold and fresh. Mike glanced at her, she was absolutely transported by the story, eyes glued to the screen. It was endearing in a way, he thought. She briefly reminded her of Holly, when she had been taken to the movies for the first time.
Soon, it was the climax of the movie and Mike hold his breath in anticipation. He wanted to see El’s reaction at the words “I am your father.” But, curiously enough, El was not the one to grab his attention. It was Will. Will, who, with a smile and bright eyes, murmured at the same time as Darth Vader.
“No, Luke, I am your father.”
It’s the giggles that escaped Will’s lips after the sentence, the pure joy in his eyes that had Mike’s heart stop. Not the gasp leaving El’s mouth and her fingers tightening on his hand.
The scene turned over and over in his mind. Mike couldn’t sleep. The Party had gone to bed for more than two hour and he still couldn’t sleep. He was panicking. The young boy had the feeling to be stuck in his brain, like a broken record that always played the same part of the song. Every time he tried to close his eyes, Will’s giggles and eyes flashed behind his eyelids. As Mike turned over for what seemed the hundredth time a whimper made him jumped off his skin.
He recognized that voice.
Mike immediately turned to Will, who had fall asleep next to him, and knew something was off. Will was turning all over with a scared and pained expression on his face. He whimpered again as he clenched his hand on his blanket.
A nightmare.
“Will wake up.” He said, gently shaking him awake. “It’s okay, it’s just a nightmare.”
His friend woke up, gasping for air like he was stuck underwater for too long. He looked around the room in terror, monsters still visible in the corners of his eyes. The look on his face broke Mike’s heart. Before he could stop himself, he had embraced Will in his arms. The latter put his chin on Mike’s shoulder and he felt Will slowly relaxing.
“Sorry…” He whispered, breaking up their hug.
“Don’t say that, it’s okay.”, Mike whispered back, looking in his friend’s eyes, “You can’t control your dreams.”
“I wish it was possible.” Will admitted, “I will be easier if it was the case.”
Mike didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t find the words that would ease his mind. So, instead of saying something that would probably not help Will, he took his hand and gently squeezed it. Will squeezed back. His heart gave a flutter.
“Thanks Mike.” Will smiled lightly.
“For what?” Mike asked, confused.
“For always being there. I really appreciate it.”
His friend really needed to stop saying things like that. It made Mike’s heart beat faster. Way faster than it should be. It made him want to intertwined his fingers with Will’s. It was not right. Not right. So why was it feeling so good? Mike couldn’t pull his hand away from Will’s, not matter how hard he tried.
Even as they both lied down and went back to sleep, he could not pull away.
They fell asleep like this. Hand in hand. And Mike was terrified by how easy and natural it had felt.
5. It’s not my fault you don’t like girls.
The second of July, 1985.
It was definitely the worst summer of his life. Summer was supposed to be all about fun and games and friends. It was not supposed to be about girls and kisses. Will was always glad when summer came along because it meant that he could spend two months with his friends, at all time of the day. But this summer, even when his friends were there, it’s like they were absent. They couldn’t stop talking about their girlfriends – who were nice, Will truly appreciated Max and El, but he didn’t like that they were stealing his friends from him – and how great they were. It was annoying. More than that, it was painful because it was a constant reminder of what he couldn’t have.
Will had stop lying to himself when he was stuck in the Upside Down. When he found himself on the verge of death, when he could see his life flash before his eyes, he stopped pretending. He didn’t like girls. He never will. They were pretty, with their long hairs and shiny lips, and they were nice too. But boys, oh boys were prettier. His guts twisted when he looked at boys, not when he looked at girls. Will knew it was wrong. That he wasn’t supposed to feel that way. It hurt, knowing that all the slurs were true, that he really was not normal. So, he hid it. He buried his secret (and he thought at the time that he was just taking it to his grave), buried it in his chest and swore that he will never reveal it. Never.
It had been pretty easy to bear, this secret. After all, none of his friends were popular with the ladies and they never talked about getting girlfriends, so the touchy subject was invisible. Well, it had been invisible. Now, Lucas was dating Max – sort of, because they were always on and off like a flickering light – and Mike was dating Eleven. Which was fine (it wasn’t), Will knew that the day would come and he thought himself ready. He wasn’t prepared. All Lucas and Mike would talk about was their pretty, powerful, intelligent girlfriends. Will’s secret grew heavier and heavier to bear. Especially when Mike was disappearing with Eleven, sneaking out and trading kisses when they thought nobody was watching.
And it wasn’t even the worse. Will was put aside, like a broken toy. It’s like his friends didn’t even care about him anymore. He was just standing there, like some kind of extra on a romantic movie, forced to watch the story of the couples. They had forgotten him, discarding him on the floor like a rag doll when they had found prettier ones. So, when Max and El had broken up with his friends, Will finally thought that summer could start. No more stupid girls, just pure fun and friends.
Obviously, that hadn’t been that simple. Even as the girls had broken up, Mike and Lucas were still obsessed with them. They fomented plans to get them back. And it hurt because usually, they made plans for D&D campaigns, not for girls. Will couldn’t help the jealousy, the envy, the rage that were twirling into him. It was like his inside were into a painful knot and he couldn’t untangle it. They were playing D&D – well, Will was playing, Mike and Lucas were just kinda there – when the phone ringed. And Will had never seen Mike run to the phone that fast.
“El?” He asked, voice full of hope.
Will’s heart dropped to his heels. That was it. He had enough. He tried one more time to enrol Lucas and Mike into his campaign but it was a failure.
He took off his hat and cape, with saying a single word. He stormed off, ears buzzing and blocking out the words of his friends. His body was acting on his own. All his emotions knotted into his stomach finally broke free and swallowed him whole. Before he knew what he was doing, he was on Mike’s porch, decided to leave despite the rain and the storm.
“Will, you can’t leave it’s raining.” Mike called him.
He grabbed his bike, ready to go.
“Listen, I said I was sorry, all right? It’s a cool campaign, it’s really cool.” His friend was now next to him, trying to explain himself when it was the last thing that Will wanted to hear. He listened anyway. It was Mike. He always listened to him. “We’re not just not in the mood right now.”
“Yeah, Mike, that’s the problem!” He finally snapped, looking at Mike, wondering if the other boy could see all his pain in his eyes. “You guys are never in the mood anymore! You’re ruining our party!”
“That’s not true!”
The rain was almost drowning Mike’s voice and his attempts to make things right.
“Really? Where Dustin right now?” He asked, knowing that neither him or Mike had the answer. When Mike just opened his mouth in surprise, he wanted to scream. “See? You don’t know and you don’t even care! And obviously he doesn’t either and I don’t blame him!” He wasn’t controlling what he said. Words were leaving his mouth before he even knew what he wanted to say. “You’re destroying everything and for what? So you can swap spit with a stupid girl?”
“El’s not stupid! It’s not my fault you don’t like girls!”
Oh. That hurt. It was like his heart was exploding inside his chest. Like he was being stabbed in the back by the person he loved the most. Which, well, was the case. Will saw the exact moment when Mike knew he crossed the line. The moment the line of his eyebrows lifted up and his eyes softened. The tone of his voice was gentler than it had been before.
“I’m not trying to be a jerk, okay?”
You sure act like it though, he thought. And just as he tried to talk, as Mike continued speaking, he took his hand. He did it like it was the easiest thing in the world. As if they were not fighting. As if Will’s heart hadn’t just broke. As if it was a normal, simple summer.
Will hated how natural his hand felt into Mike’s. He truly hated it. He hated it even more because he felt like his friend was trying to manipulate him into thinking like him. Persuading him to stay. He loathed it.
He jerked his hand away in one swift motion. A pained expression flashed on Mike’s face. Good. It was his time being hurt.
Not saying anything more, sure that his voice would break if he did, Will straddled his bike and left.
He was drenched right away.
+1. At least we’re together, right?
The twenty-three of March, 1986.
Burying a body. He was burying a goddam body. Mike didn’t expect his spring break to go like this. He was supposed to have a good time, going on dates with El and catching up with Will. He wasn’t supposed to get shot at! El wasn’t supposed to be nicked away by the police!
Why couldn’t he catch a break!
Mike was freaking out. How could he not? Everything had gone to shit again and he was feeling like he lost the two people he cared about most. He had no idea where El had been taken and things were still awkward between him and Will. Well, if he was being honest – it was something he didn’t like because he was scared of himself – it was his fault. He was scared, not actually he was terrified. He was bloody terrified and pulling away seemed like the answers to all of his problems. Out of sight out of mind, right?
Turned out that the person writing this saying was very, very wrong. That or they couldn’t understand human emotions. Mike had tried. He pulled away. He stopped calling Will even if he wanted to hear his voice. He stopped calling Will even if the only thing that mattered was knowing if he was okay or not. He stopped calling Will because, hey he could call too, right? Why didn’t he call for a change? (It was a lie, Mike stopped calling because he realized that he liked talking to Will better than to talk to El).
Out of sight out of mind. He heard the saying from one of Nancy’s friends and it had rung in his head every since. If Will wasn’t there, maybe whatever he was feeling would go away too.
Out. Of. Sight. Out. Of. Mind. He hammered it home, late at night when he couldn’t sleep. When he couldn’t sleep because he was missing his favourite person in the world (he tried to persuade his heart that it was El. It wasn’t.)
Mike had been stressed about spring break. Oh, sure he was so happy to finally El and Will but he didn’t know how he would react. How he was supposed to react. So, when he saw Will at the airport with a smile so bright and so pretty it hurt, he forgot how to function. He barely hugged him back. He couldn’t. He knew that if he did, he would have crack. He would have hug him in a way friend weren’t supposed to.
He sticked his shovel into the dirt, wiped the sweat of his forehead. He was burying a body and the only thing he had in mind was Will. He was more disturbed than he thought. Talking about his friend, he was now sitting on the front of an old, dusted car. He had his head into his hands in the way he always did when he was particularly stressed out or scared. Mike abandoned his shovel and walked up to him.
“Hey, are you okay?” He asked even if it was a pretty rubbish thing to ask.
“Mom is in Alaska. El had been taken by the government. We had been shot at by the frigging army.” Will enumerated, head still in his hands.
“Y-yeah?” Why couldn’t he find something to say?
“Just making sure I hadn’t forgotten anything. I have absolutely no idea how we’re still alive right now.”
“Me neither. I mean, we’ve deal with monsters and shit but it was our first time with guns.” Mike shrugged, happy to see Will laughed lightly at his words. He sat down next to him.
“I supposed we can’t catch a break. We always have to deal with something.” Will’s voice almost broke and it broke Mike’s heart too.
“Yeah, but at least we’re together, right?” It sounded like a question because it was.
It was some kind of apology and a question all at once. It was begging Will for forgiveness, for everything he had done and praying that he would forgive him. It was asking Will something more. Something he could still not pronounce. Something he wasn’t sure how to describe. It was putting his whole being into Will’s hands and excepting not to be crushed. It was finally shedding off the shell he had built for himself in fear.
When Will did not answer right away, Mike’s heart dropped in his heels. I miscalculated, he thought, freaking out. And his heart stopped when he felt fingers on his hand. Instinctively, he opened it and Will shyly slid his hand into his. Mike wasn’t aware of his surroundings anymore. His ears were buzzing and his pulse was racing. He could only focus on Will’s hand into his. And the way the other boy intertwined his fingers with his.
“Yeah, we have each other.”
Mike smiled softly. So softly in fact that it made Will swooned inside.
It wasn’t loud. It wasn’t a promise. It was some kind of compromise, a half-said confession. But it was, oh so enough. Maybe they’ll hold hands more, who knows?