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Home. What a word. Home was supposed to be a place one felt safe and at peace, where one could let down their guard. A place to breathe and let go, letting one’s hair down, both metaphorically and literally. It was a startling realization to Koriand’r to know that she had one.
She had homes over the years, but it had been a long time since she felt this comfortable in one. Tameran, of course, was the first, but then she suffered through years of enslavement, placed in slave quarters and given a pile of straw and a thin blanket for a bed. There would always be a bittersweet feeling towards Tameran. Even when she and Komand’r had been taken and experimented on, she had not considered that place home either. For so many years, she had lived, thinking she had no home.
Now though, she had a home. Things changed after meeting the Titans and landing on Earth. At first, the home was found in the Titans Tower, then apartments when she outgrew the space, then back to the Tower when she and Dick were leading the team, then even more apartments, and then, finally, where she lived with Dick.
It was in that house where she currently lay, holding their newborn daughter as he dozed next to her. This home was new—purchased for their baby girl, Mar’i Grayson—and while it was comfortable, it was not the place that she considered home. Her daughter was home. Dick Grayson was home. The Titans were home. Home was not a place. It was a person, the people.
And it had taken her way too fucking long to have one.
-
The hot Tamarean sun ran down on her as she let out a breath. Koriand’r didn’t know when this became her life. It was still hard for her to wrap her head around—the grueling physical labor of being a slave.
This was home. Tameran was supposed to be where she felt safe, protected. Tameran was supposed to be where she could be free and share jokes with her siblings and parents. It was the place where she was supposed to ache for, a pang so deep it could not be healed unless she was physically there.
Except it wasn’t.
Right now, insults were hurled at her, under a hot sun and a whip in a stranger’s hands. Worst of all, all this had been orchestrated by Komand’r, her own sister.
Her own sister, who hated her, who not only despised her but tortured her. Koriand’r still couldn’t understand it. She wanted to, but she couldn’t. It was impossible. Instead, hurt ran over in waves, not dissimilar to grief. Komandr’s betrayal on the best of days was hard to understand and incomprehensible on the worst of them.
She used to hold on to that hurt, letting it poke and pinch in all of the right places so she couldn’t forget that feeling. Over time, the feeling faded. Now, all the knowledge did was bring a great feeling of sadness to her.
She stared up at the Tameranian sky and closed her eyes briefly. For a moment, she relished in the warmth of the sun, and let herself pretend that things were normal. That Tameran was still home, that she was safe, and she had a soft place to put her head down for the night.
A sharp sting of pain took her out of her thoughts, followed by ugly words from an even uglier man’s mouth. She gritted her teeth and returned to work. Fighting now was useless. She was surrounded on all sides by the enemy.
She allowed her hand to be taken and to follow where the man was bringing her. It was work, she reminded herself, a temporary work, one where she would soon get to leave. She knew she would.
She swallowed back her bile as a stranger’s hands covered her body and closed her eyes. It’d pass. It always did.
--
It was weird to consider the Titans Tower home. She lived at the tower, so while by address it was her home, it was odd that it felt like home. Her friends—family, she corrected—were outside in the main room. She could hear Garfield’s loud laughter with Cyborg’s—Victor, she reminded herself, they were out of uniform—cheers. It seemed that whatever was going on, it was a contest.
Koriand’r snorted quietly to herself. She wasn’t surprised. Victor and Garfield were known to make anything a contest, even if no one had created one. She wasn’t sure what they were even having a contest about. Still, it warmed her, knowing that her family was mingling with one another. At the moment though, the noise and commotion were a little much. She sat on the couch in one of the recreational rooms, alone, as almost all the other Titans watched Victor and Garfield do… whatever they were doing.
“Kori?” She lifted up her head at the voice, taken out of her thoughts almost immediately. She felt her heart jump, despite her effort to calm it down. The voice came from Robin, with his kind eyes and concerned tone of his voice.
“You okay?” He continued and she blinked, nodding. Staring at him while saying nothing was kind of strange, she reflected.
“I am well, Robin,” she said, smiling at him, “Do not worry. It is just…”
“Loud?” Robin finished, smiling at her. Koriandr’s heart ached once again. That sweet smile of his always made her feel at home. A sense of peace and safety cocooned her, almost at once. She laughed, nodding and shrugging as she did so.
“I love them,” she assured, “But the volume is a little much for me, even now.” Robin’s smile shifted slightly, becoming more reassuring. Koriand’r had forgotten that his smile could become even more welcoming and beautiful than it already was.
“I understand,” he said. “I mean, you’ve met Batman. He barely speaks, so I’m used to quiet. Even if I’m,” his smile went sheepish, “Well. You know. Not.” She snorted and patted the seat next to her. He sat next to her, his yellow cape almost acting like a blanket around his shoulders.
“Is it difficult? Living with that quiet?” She couldn’t help but ask, tilting her head curiously. Robin shook his head.
“No,” he said, “It’s… it’s nice, honestly. Sometimes my head is too loud anyway.” She laughed. She all knew about how loud the inside of one’s head could be. Instinctively, she leaned a little bit into his side. His arm curled around her shoulders and she sighed in relief. It was nice to be with him.
“I understand that,” she said. Robin tilted his head curiously at her. There was something in his gaze she couldn’t quite understand, almost as if he were searching for something. She held it, unafraid and unyielding. What was he searching for?
Whatever it was, it made his smile shift into something a little sad. She’d seen this smile directed to civilians they’d helped or when he was trying to pretend nothing was wrong. She was confused as to why it was being directed at her.
“You do, don’t you?” He said in a soft, quiet tone. She hadn’t even realized she tensed until she relaxed at his words. Her teammates didn’t know about her past, not because of secrecy, but because it was often too painful to speak about.
She was only able to nod at that. She did know. He nudged her shoulder lightly.
“I’m sorry you get it, then,” he said.
“Why are you sorry? You didn’t cause it,” she said, a teasing tone to her voice. Robin blushed, rolling his eyes.
“You know what I mean.” She laughed, already feeling better because of this conversation. Robin always seemed to know how to make her feel better, even if it was unintentional.
She turned her gaze back towards the kitchen, where she could hear the conversation growing louder. Robin tilted his head towards the noise.
“Ready to go back?” He asked. She nodded, her smile growing.
“Yeah,” she said and stood up, grabbing his hand as she did. She squeezed it once before following back into the Titans’ kitchen.
-
Koriand’r returned back to her apartment, exhausted. She had just finished a long day of modeling. It was weird, leading a civilian life when she didn’t have to but she… liked feeling normal. She liked feeling like she belonged on Earth when she often doubted she belonged at all.
She reached into her cabinets to grab a glass, getting some water and drinking it with a sigh of relief.
It had been a long day, and while she was glad not to be working anymore, she still didn’t feel quite settled. Her apartment was technically home. It was where she returned to every day when the Titans weren’t working. But it was lonely, returning to this empty, albeit beautiful, place.
She missed the hustle and bustle of living with the Titans, of hearing Victor and Garfield’s loud shenanigans, Wally and Dick’s wild antics, Raven’s quiet and steady energy, and the undeniable backbone of Donna Troy.
They were all too old to be living at the tower anymore, all with their own lives and vigilante schedules. She was happy that they’d all mostly made it to adulthood intact, but she missed them. The Titans had been home, and now her home was all over the world.
Her loneliness felt more palpable than ever. Before, she’d have voices and embraces to greet her home, and she’d fall into a familiar routine. She’d greet Victor and Garfield first, as they were the only full-time residents. Raven, though she lived at the Tower, was almost always in her room. She’d come out and acknowledge Koriand’r once she realized Koriand’r was home. Once that was done, whichever Titans happened to be visiting the tower would appear out of thin air. She’d greet them enthusiastically, then, surprised by their presence.
Sometimes it was Dick, which made her heart flutter, but sometimes it was Donna, or Wally, or even more rarely, Roy. No matter who it was, she greeted them with the same amount of joy each time. She missed them when they were not around.
She particularly missed them now as her loneliness ran rampant in her bones, as the feeling of worthlessness and alienation grew stronger. It was times like these, without them, where she felt more like an alien and less like a person. Earth wasn’t home, not really. This apartment felt even less like a home, and more like a place where she just slept and woke up. Modeling was exhausting. Often, she’d end up in a hotel room in a city she’d never go back to.
Life was both lonely and rewarding. It was certainly better than her childhood years, in slavery, but that didn’t say much. She wished, sometimes, she could go back in time to the height of the Titans, where she knew what to expect. Now, as an adult in the way most humans thought of it, she felt lost. Without a place to go and without a real purpose.
A buzz from her phone interrupted her thoughts. She turned to look at it, flipping it over and smiling almost immediately.
It was almost as if the universe had heard her thoughts. She felt a warm pang in her chest as she glanced at her phone. Roy had messaged, saying a simple, “Not to be weird and cheesy but I miss you guys.” She hadn’t heard from the Titans—but more specifically, Roy—in a while. She was relieved to hear from him, glad he was alive and well.
She had no qualms about responding quickly and did so, replying that she missed them all as well. As soon as she’d messaged, the other Titans began messaging, each sharing their good wishes for one another.
The only one who didn’t respond was Grayson. She waited for his response as everyone began talking to one another, just staring down at her phone. She knew he had been struggling, the last time they spoke, but he—like he always did—brushed off any concern. Promised that he was fine and she was a worrywart.
The next day was finally when he responded, saying he missed them all as well and that he had been busy the day before. Koriand’r didn’t know how she knew, but she knew that it was a lie. She messaged him privately, only asking one thing.
Are you alright?
I am. Thank you though, Kori. Koriand’r sighed and sent him a heart in response. She hoped that it was true. Her home had a slightly unstable foundation, but at least it was there.
-
Another generation, another set of Titans. Koriand’r was leading them, this time around, as was Dick. She was relieved to see him up and about, doing much better than he had in the past. A part of her heart stitched together. Her home was healing and it was a rewarding feeling.
“Kor,” Dick said, breaking her out of her thoughts after training one afternoon, “Could you help me look at some cases?”
“You just don’t want to do it alone, do you?” Koriand’r said dryly, rolling her eyes. Dick smiled.
“Maybe,” he teased and she sighed, shaking her head.
“You’re ridiculous,” she said affectionately and followed him into the mission room, where all their computers were stored. He got to work as she sat down on one of the chairs, pulling her hair up into a ponytail.
“So,” he said, once they were both settled, “What do you think of the team?” Koriand’r shrugged, pulling her feet up onto the chair.
“They’re good,” she said. “They seem to be working well together. They’re less… they’re less of a family compared to how we were, but they’ll get to that camaraderie soon enough.”
Dick nodded at her, his smile bright and beautiful, and she found it as endearing as she had when he was Robin.
“You’re wonderful, you know that?” She said. “I just… you need to know that. You are.”
Dick went bright pink at her words and looked down. She couldn’t help but smile, her heart aching in her chest. Had no one ever told him he was wonderful?
“You,” Dick said, after a second, “are greatly exaggerating. But thank you, Kori, you… you’re also incredible.”
Now she was the one who was blushing and looked down at her feet. “Thank you,” she said.
“I’m glad you found me that day,” Koriand’r continued, her voice soft. “You changed my life. You… gave me more than I could ever put into words.”
“Kori,” Dick said, going bright pink, “God. I wasn’t the only one who helped with all of that. That was the—”
“Titans,” she finished, “Which you brought to me. Without them, or you, I don’t know what would’ve happened to me. I’d have been recaptured. At best, I would’ve been killed, at worst…” she trailed off for a moment, remembering the rise of sexual slavery and her own brushes with that lifestyle. “It would’ve been bad, Dick. The Titans are more than just a team and a family to me—they’re my home. I’d fight for all of you.”
Dick was practically the color of a strawberry when Kori finished, and he awkwardly cleared his throat.
“God, Kori,” he whispered. “You changed my life too, you know? Without you, or the Titans… I wouldn’t be me right now either.”
Her heart ached at that and she hugged him tightly, wrapping her arms around his chest as he did the same.
“You’re my world,” he admitted quietly to her. “I know that can mean a lot of things but… it’s true. You are.”
Koriand’r leaned back at that and looked into his eyes. All she saw in it was love and adoration. How had she missed the other half of her heart here, for so long?
“You’re mine too,” she said softly before she slowly moved forward to kiss him.
For a second, it felt odd that it felt so natural . Her heart was stuttering in her chest as their lips met. Kissing Dick felt like something she should’ve been doing all her life, kissing Dick felt like coming home.
Dick’s hands traveled up her back, kissing her deeply as she got more comfortable in his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and placing a hand into his hair.
A rational part of her told her that the two of them shouldn’t be doing this in the mission room, but the other part of her just wanted to stay in this moment. She knew the other Titans members wouldn’t bother them.
Dick’s hand traveled further down, cupping her ass in one careful hand. She leaned back a little at that, giving him a smile.
“You ready to go further?” She teased, and Dick’s smile grew, laughing as he kissed her again, his grip growing more confident and firm.
It was easy to close her eyes and let Dick’s hands explore her body. This time, it was her choice to give her body to a man. And she trusted that man to be Dick. She trusted him more than anyone in the world.
-
Home, she’d learned, was in the people that surrounded her. It wasn’t the random string of addresses that she and Dick had shared as a couple before this house, it was not Earth where she currently resided, nor was it her beautiful home planet of Tameran.
Home was in the people she knew, in the twinkle of their eyes, in the smile lines next to their mouths, in the rise and fall of their breath. It was the indescribable feeling she had after a mission when she curled up into Dick’s arms, the faint smell of his stupidly expensive aftershave and the smell beyond that she could only describe as his . The way his arms curled around her, making her feel so small and secure, despite her being half a foot taller than him.
Home was here. And she finally had one.