Richard sits down in the raggedy armchair that graces the Portakabin with its shabby presence and absentmindedly pats his pocket. Since their ‘encounter’ (as Richard has taken to thinking of it), he has carried the items that Jeremy told him to, carried them everywhere with him, taking great care to remove them from the pockets of his jeans before putting them in the wash, transferring the items illicitly from one item of clothing to the next.
It’s been weeks since it happened, weeks since Richard felt that fizz of fear, felt Jeremy pushed hard up against him, and wanted him with every molecule of his being. There have been no signs of there being any other encounters in the future, as Jeremy seems to have forgotten all about it; his outward demeanour is the same as it always was.
Richard feels like his skin is too small for his body; he feels itchy and tight and hyper-aware of Jeremy's position at any given time.
He’s sipping at his coffee with careful little mouthfuls because it’s too hot to drink, making his tongue and lips tingle as the hot liquid washes over them, wincing with the pain and blowing futilely across the surface, the ripples dancing in front of his eyes.
The door creaks open and James strides into the room, hair flowing behind him as he slumps into the room's only other chair.
“Why are people so crap?” he says, looking to Richard as if he might have all the answers and then snorting with the realisation of exactly how pointless asking the question is in the first place.
Richard takes another sip of his too-hot coffee.
“They just are,” Richard says, as though this explains everything, and watches with amusement as James gets up creakily from out of the chair and storms out.
Richard has absolutely no idea what's got James so worked up, but honestly James isn’t that hard to annoy so it could be almost anything. James expects the world to follow his own ordered thoughts and gets extremely frustrated when it doesn’t. Richard prefers to just let things happen, tries not to think of the consequence of anything. Why bother when it doesn’t change the outcome one iota?
He’s contemplating the question when Jeremy appears in the doorway, his frame entirely filling the small space.
“Hamster!” Jeremy says, as though he didn’t know that Richard would be in there, which is totally strange considering he was the one who’d told him to ‘go and take a fucking pill, you uptight git’ when they’d argued, and where else would he be?
“Andy is throwing a fit at James. It’s hilarious - want to come and watch?”
Richard quirks a smile. Jeremy’s glee is infectious, his grin a mile wide, easy and familiar, and this is a part of why Richard loves him. The thought causes Richard to jolt, standing stock still as the realisation washes over him at the same time as the hot coffee makes contact with his fingers. He loves Jeremy, a part of him has always known that, has been able to look at it objectively, but love isn’t objective and the full, brutal force of his feelings hits him all at once.
He barely manages to nod, following Jeremy outside and down the stairs.
They walk towards the track, but as they reach the back of the Portakabin Richard feels himself being propelled hard towards the rough surface of the temporary building, feels his face catch on the rough peaks of the metal and his skin might as well be on fire for the pain that flares.
Jeremy is right behind him, pressing himself so hard against Richard that he can feel the other man breathe, feel the heat leaching through his shirt into his back, and Richard absolutely cannot suppress the tiny gasp of excitement that bubbles up from deep within him.
Jeremy has hold of his wrists, his grip tight and hard, and Richard can feel the bones in his wrists creak and grate like they might just snap at any moment. There’s a bite of metal against his skin and a shudder of anticipation rolls through Richard as he remembers the last time these handcuffs were used.
“You’re going to walk as if everything is normal, you won’t look at me. Do you understand?” Jeremy hisses against Richard’s throat, warm gush of air ruffling the hair curling around his ear until he’s forced to shudder, goosebumps rising on his arms.
Richard nods tightly, the muscles in his neck protesting at even this small movement.
“I’d blindfold you but that might look a bit weird and I don’t want anyone disturbing us.” Jeremy uses the very point of his tongue to flick against the back of Richard’s neck causing him to squirm against the wall. “At least not until I’ve used you up.”
The malicious joy with which Jeremy utters the words with makes Richard struggle just a little, his breath coming in tiny pants and a bucketful of adrenaline being dumped into his system so that his limbs tremble finely. Now that this is happening he’s not so sure, not sure he can be submissive, but equally unsure that he can make himself stop. He remembers the safeword but he doesn’t want to use it, wants to know what Jeremy is planning to do to him first. He can feel the little indentation in his hip from the items in his pocket.
Jeremy uses the cuffs to pull him away from the wall and spin him around. Richard assumes they’re going to the car park or back into the Portakabin and so his feet are sluggish when Jeremy pushes him towards the back of the compound, towards the little wooded area that marks the boundary.
“Faster!” Jeremy barks, standing close behind him so that no one behind them can see the cuffs - not that anyone's close enough to look anyway.
Richard stumbles along, his feet getting caught up in the long grass as they reach the thicket of trees, the cool shade making him instantly cold, the contrast between the warmth at his back and the cold at his front making his body unsure of the reaction it should have. Richard shivers and is caught off guard as Jeremy soothes large palms down his arms, rubbing them to warm him up.
Jeremy pushes him against a tree once they’ve moved deep into the woodland, then immediately covers Richard’s body with his own, sucking at the pulsepoint of Richard’s throat and then whispering dirty endearments into his ear, things Richard doesn’t like to hear about himself, things that make him as hard as the tree he’s pushed against.
“You’ve been waiting for me,” Jeremy whispers, “waiting for me to grab you make you do all the things I want you to do.” Jeremy shoves his erection against Richard’s lower back and grinds him hard until Richard wonders whether it’s possible for him to get any closer to the tree. “And there are lots of things I want you to do, that you have no choice but to do. I want you to remember this in your deepest, darkest fantasies, remember what it feels like to be so out of control, because you hate it, don’t you? You hate it but a part of you loves it and you hate that part even more because it gives you away.”
Jeremy bites at Richard’s shoulder hard, so hard that he cries out and Jeremy hisses at him to be quiet.
“When you’re getting all bolshy with some assistant, or rolling your eyes behind the makeup woman’s back I just want to grab you and push you to your knees, shove my cock down your throat and show the whole world that you’re mine. Because you are mine, aren’t you, Richard? Say it,” Jeremy demands, hands curled tightly around the top of Richard’s arms, making him wince, the erection still pressed hard against his back while his own is shoved uncomfortably against the tree.
“I...” Richard opens his mouth but can’t quite bring himself to say the words.
Jeremy grunts and pulls him away from the tree, spinning him around and pushing him down hard until his knees buckle and he lands at Jeremy’s feet, Jeremy towering over him.
“Say it,” Jeremy says again, pulling him up to his knees and reaching to undo his flies, eyes locked onto Richard’s own, the intent clear.
“I’m yours,” Richard manages to whisper, eyes resting on Jeremy’s fingers where they pull open the material to reveal tented boxers that are already moistened with a spot of Jeremy’s excitement.
“I won’t make the same mistake this time, mate,” Jeremy says, the ‘mate’ sounding jarring to Richard’s ears. “I am going to fuck you, use you like the little whore you pretend to the world that you’re not,” Jeremy lets out a breath all at once like he’s been holding it in. “God it’s going to be good, sinking into you while every fibre of your being loves it and hates it at the same time. You’re going to be forever stained with me, Hammond, forever changed.”
Jeremy pulls out his hard cock and brings Hammond’s head to within smelling distance.
“Did you bring what I told you to?” Jeremy asks, his fingers wound tightly into Richard’s hair so that he couldn’t pull away even if he wanted to.
“Yes,” he replies, eyes never wavering from Jeremy’s cock, his knees cramping and his thighs trembling.
Jeremy rubs the head of his cock on Richard’s bottom lip, smearing his skin with sticky pre-come and smirking as Richard tries to pull away.
“Open,” Jeremy says, “I know you want to, want to suck cock like a slut, you want to suck mine, anyway, don’t you? You were so talented last time, swallowing it all like a good boy.”
Jeremy shoves himself into Richard’s mouth and Richard closes his eyes, his cheeks hollowing and a blush rising over his cheekbones.
“God, you look good like this, with my cock in your mouth, ashamed and hard as hell at the same time.”
Richard feels suddenly hot all over, can taste the musky skin and smell the fresh sweat rising from Jeremy’s crotch. His jaw aches already and his hands are going numb but he can’t think of anywhere else he’d rather be, doing Jeremy’s bidding here where anyone could see him.
“Richard, if you need me to stop I want you to blink hard twice, understand?”
Jeremy pulls his cock away with a wet sounding pop so Richard can whisper a ‘yes’ with a raw-sounding rasp to his voice. Satisfied, Jeremy shoves himself as deep as he can go into Richard’s mouth and laughs when he gags, pulling back and stroking the side of Richard’s face, fingers brushing the graze from the Portakabin wall as he thrusts back in, the rhythm brutal and fast.
Richard can feel that Jeremy is close when he pulls himself free and pushes Richard away with a few panted breaths.
“Stop,” Jeremy says, although Richard already has. “I’m going to take the cuffs off now. Are you going to make it difficult?”
“I don’t know,” Richard rasps truthfully, his throat sore and his wrists aching to be released from their position.
Jeremy takes a small handcuff key out of one of the pockets of his jeans that are pulled down to his thighs, it’s a bit of a struggle but he releases the cuffs with a small metallic click and Richard can feel the blood flowing back into his wrists.
“On your front, Hammond,” Jeremy says with a leer, holding his hand out for the condom and lube that are burning a hole in Richard’s pocket.
Richard hands them over and stares defiantly at Jeremy. Just because he wants this, he knows he shouldn’t make it easy, the whole point is that it’s not easy.
Jeremy smirks, dropping to his knees with a grunt and an audible click of bone and reaching for Richard’s flies. He undoes the buttons with fingers that are rock steady, pulling the material of the jeans and Richard’s Calvin Klein’s roughly to his knees. It occurs to Richard that this is going to make what’s to come difficult but he keeps quiet, partly because he wants to see how Jeremy will adapt but mostly because he doesn’t trust himself to say anything at all.
Jeremy pushes Richard on to his front with a hand at the centre of his back, holding him down, and then immediately lies on top of him, using his full weight to pin Richard to the ground.
Jeremy is tall and heavy and Richard finds that no matter how hard he struggles there is just no way that he can shift Jeremy, not even an inch. He gets a sudden real tendril of fear that quickly overtakes him because even though they’re playing Jeremy could really do this. Richard has always thought that as he’s fitter and younger and more agile, that Jeremy couldn’t really make him do anything he didn’t want to do. But here and now he realises that Jeremy could have him, and there would be absolutely nothing he could do to stop it.
“Jockstrap,” Richard says, an edge of panic lacing his voice.
Jeremy immediately rolls off him, helping him to turn over and stroking the side of his face with such tenderness that Richard finds a lump in his throat. He desperately tries to swallow it away.
“God, are you okay?” Jeremy asks, worry in his eyes as they search Richard’s face.
Richard doesn’t really know what to say, he feels a little foolish now, on the dirty floor of the woods with his clothing tangled around his knees. Jeremy tucks his own rapidly softening cock away and sits next to him, saying nothing, rubbing large hands over Richard’s shoulders.
“You know I would never hurt you, right? I was enjoying having you be my bitch and all - ” Jeremy smirks at Richard and he feels his heart start to thump faster just from the look, “ - but I don’t think of you like that in real life. You’d kick my arse if this were real, and I’d deserve it.”
Richard swallows hard. “I just felt a bit too out of control, y’know, like there’d be nothing I could do.” He blows out a big breath and looks into Jeremy’s concerned face, leaning up and kissing him on the cheek. “You wouldn’t stand a chance, old man,” Richard says cheekily, tackling Jeremy on to his back and immediately getting himself tangled up in his jeans, his hardening cock pressed tightly against Jeremy’s stomach.
“Oh, yeah?” Jeremy says, eyebrow raised.
Richard leans down and covers Jeremy’s mouth with his own. Immediately Richard feels excited and like he can do anything, his tongue pushing its way into Jeremy’s mouth as they kiss, his eyes closed and the shivery feeling overtaking him once again.
Jeremy rolls them over until he’s on top of Richard but this time it feels different; Jeremy is heavy and using all his weight to pin but with their mouths joined Richard can feel the emotion in Jeremy, can feel the fine trembling, and taste the gasped breaths, and out of nowhere he is more turned on than he’s ever been in his entire life.
Breaking the kiss, Richard pulls away and whispers against the paper-thin skin of Jeremy’s throat, “I’m yours,” feeling the hitched breath rush from Jeremy’s mouth, and their embrace tighten.
“Don’t you forget it,” Jeremy whispers back, all the threat taken out of the words and an intense intimacy in their place that makes Richard shivery hard all over again.
Jeremy rolls Richard on to his stomach, dropping kisses down his lower back where his shirt has been pushed up and then unexpectedly parting Richard and shoving his tongue deep into Richard’s arsehole. Richard can’t help but groan and can feel the smile on Jeremy’s face without being able to see it.
“I’m going to fuck you into next week, and you’re going to love it because you’re my little cock-loving whore,” Jeremy teases. “I wonder what your fans would think if they could see you now, all spread open and waiting for my cock? You think they’d be surprised that Hammond takes it up the arse?”
“Not yet he doesn’t,” Richard taunts, squirming against the ground, his cock uncomfortably pushed against the grass, the wet blades being crushed, the scent of lawns assailing him.
Jeremy chuckles, the sound rich and deep and directly against his most intimate of places. Before Richard can say anything else Jeremy has a lubed finger pushing inside him, relentlessly flickering against his insides. It’s joined by another and then another until Richard feels like he’s being exposed to the world, like he’s having all his secrets tossed into the air careless of where they might land. He feels hot and cold and desperately wanton.
There’s a rustling sound and then that weight is back on top of him, pushing him into the earth as the blunt and slippery head of Jeremy’s cock is guided to his hole. There’s a moment of hopeless resistance where Richard is convinced that his body just won’t take it, and then there’s give and Jeremy sinks deep inside him, the burn from the stretch joining the shivery coils deep at the base of his spine. There’s no room for movement from Richard and all Jeremy can manage are small but deep thrusts, the angle allowing no room, but Richard is seeing stars and all Jeremy’s bluster has evaporated leaving nothing but the slap of flesh and the call of birdsong mingled with grunts and soft moans.
Richard has his eyes screwed tightly shut and feels dirty and wanton for allowing Jeremy to fuck him in the woods, for allowing himself to be taken and used. But amidst the shame lies a boiling hot need to feel Jeremy on top of him, to feel him inside of him that overshadows all other feelings.
Jeremy is grunting in Richard’s ear, a steady rhythm that both soothes and drives Richard to try and push back, that makes him want to swear and have Jeremy hurt him. Richard is so close to coming all over the damp earth, so close without even having been touched there and his cheeks burn with the shame.
Suddenly the weight on top of Richard gets heavier as Jeremy reaches forward and tangles their fingers together, the movement pushing Jeremy’s cock even deeper into Richard’s body. Jeremy is holding on tightly, his thrusts erratic and the breathing in Richard’s ear getting jagged and harsh. They’re both close, so close that it takes almost nothing at all to send Richard over the edge, a mere squeeze of his fingers from Jeremy and a whispered, “fucking gorgeous slut,” and he’s coming without having been touched, spilling himself over the ground and feeling the heat and the slip-slide of wet grass as Jeremy pushes hard for two more thrusts and then stills.
Jeremy gets off him with a grunt and Richard never sees what happens to the condom. He gets to his feet slowly, wiping himself off with a handful of leaves and doing his flies up with sticky fingers.
“Fucking hell, mate,” Jeremy says, grinning at Richard with eyes that glitter in the low light.
Richard can’t help but laugh. The thought of what he’s just done seems as alien a concept to him as manual labour is to Jeremy, but he can smell the spunk on his hands and sees the flush over Jeremy’s cheeks and knows that it happened. He’s glad it happened.
“That was fun. Wonder whether we’ve been missed,” Jeremy says with mischief written all over his features.
“I wonder whether we’d be believed if we told them the truth,” Richard answers, trying to surreptitiously wipe his hands on Jeremy’s jeans.
“Oi!” Jeremy grabs hold of Richard’s hands and tries to bring them to Richard’s own face, laughing when Richard squirms away and breaks free, running across the field away from him with a shout of, “catch up old man,” ringing out loud and clear.
Richard lets Jeremy catch up and they fall into step beside each other.
After a few moments silence, Jeremy starts hesitantly, “Richard, how did it feel? I mean to be taken? You’d be the last person I’d have said would want something like that, fighty little pikey that you are.”
Richard stops and looks up at Jeremy, shading his eyes from the sun.
“You want to find out?” he asks, smiling up at Jeremy and quirking an eyebrow in challenge at him.
Jeremy goes instantly red and starts to splutter his denials. Richard leans close, stands on his tiptoes and whispers hotly into Jeremy’s ear, “I expect you to carry lube and condoms on you at all times, Clarkson.”
The only reply from Jeremy is the blush spreading high over his cheeks and a tight nod in Richard’s direction. They walk towards civilisation together with secrets shared and the anticipation buzzing in their blood.