Chapter Text
The first time I saw you, I was a tiny, young demon who could not even disguise himself properly, living on wandering, lost souls. You caught me by the back of my tattered, muddy kimono when I was chasing after a quick meal for the day. Under the moonlight and surrounded by lurking dangers, you looked like peace, an utterly brilliant, beautiful, magically breathtaking fairy that even an uncivilized “me” of that time fell in love at the first sight. The first time my heart beat so fast but was not because of danger.
Your eyes smiled and your voice was so high, full of excitement. “Vox! I have found you.”
Oh, I never once thought I would love the sound of my name, until that day. It just meant “voice” which indicated my power because a kid couldn’t know better to address themselves. It should not be considered a name, traditionally speaking. But you made it sound so nice with that bell-like voice of yours.
“…Have we met before?” I hesitantly asked and your smile widen. You let out a satisfied sigh with a winning swing of your fists.
“I believe this is our first meet…I finally got to meet the young Vox, hehe.” You brought your hand clashed in fishnet to my horns. That was supposed to be a greeting gesture between Oni but I, knowing my look scared humans, quickly hid them away . “D-don’t…,” I mumbled.
“There is nothing to be shy about,” you made no move even though with our height difference, you can easily overpower me. “I already knew this form of yours. You are never, never ugly to me.
“Vox,…”
You inched close to me, your head dipped lower almost like you were begging. I dumbly looked at how long and paled your eyelashes were and unconsciously dropped my hands. You chuckled, fingers pointed to the tiny nubs on my forehead. “May I?”
I slowly nodded.
“Oh, they used to be so small! Is it hurt? Growing horns, I mean.”
I shivered a bit when you poked at them. “They are…just sensitive now. But my fever hasn’t broken since then.”
“And you already out hunting…”
“All Oni are like that,” I shrugged. I sneaked a look at your unblemished forehead, wasn’t dare to return the gesture. I was afraid my claws could scar you. Your olive green eyes were so clear that I can see the reflection of myself. I felt bared and naked under your gaze, but it was not an unpleasant feeling. I wondered how was it possible. Was it because I got a crush on you? Or because your existence alone was so comfy to my wild, raw soul?
“Well, you won’t be like that for long. You aren’t destined to be a loner.” You informed me that as a fact, with so much confidence I don’t think they could fit inside that lithe body of yours. Oni were are solitary beings, but it sounded like a good thing to you so I will give it a tiny bit of trust, even though I don’t get the deal of involving myself with someone else.
I heard noises of the sea zoomed in my ears. Upon a mountain but it sounded so close and only got louder. Water droplets flew up from your body like you are being sucked up into the sky. It was crazy, looking at you disappeared bit by bit while the world stayed too still, not even a wisp of wind passed by. “Oh dear, I gotta go now.”
“Wait, I don’t know who you are.”
“Ike Eveland. I’m your favorite boy, your smart cookie. Remember it...” The water drop that used to be a full-grown man told me, and I can imagine you smiled.
.
The second time we met again, I was already Lord Akuma of the Akuma Castle. I took pity and sheltered some humans some decades ago. A war broke out so when people heard about me, they kept coming and coming to ask for a haven. Before I knew it, I was building a whole city to house them. I just finished a six-hours political meeting when I saw you wandering in the market like a lost deer. I flung myself out of the window with the speed of a wild beast in front of Oni Giri. Even when I disappeared into a back alley, I can still hear him chewing me about how expensive my kimono was and I just rolled a few times on the ground to land.
There was nothing changed about you, not even a hair out of place like I saw you yesterday and not fifty years later. The Kindred took you as a new Youkai ally of mine, a norm that existed only in my territory, still, they couldn’t help themselves from peaking and whispering. I waited for you to drift out of the crowd, get a hold of your waist then dragged you to the back of a restaurant.
“Oh, hi, Vox! Have we met before?”
You looked at me with those bright eyes full of recognition but your question wasn’t fit in this context. It left me puzzled for the first time since I became a clan leader. I picked my words carefully to answer.
“Of course, from fifty years ago…on a mountain. Do you not remember?”
A tiny bit of disappointment flashed through the way you dropped your eyebrows. “I will, don’t worry about that.”
You touched my forehead where my horns were supposed to be, and I touched yours in return with much shorter nails this time, the color was still black, though. Flipping open a weird device from your coat pocket, you checked it in a flash.
“I still have some time, could you show me around?” You extended your tiny hands to my sleeve, wanting to hold on to it but shying away at the last second. I ignored it, played it off by tying my hair into a ponytail and loosening the front of my kimono, tried making a relaxed image.
We got many gifts from the Kindred, either because of the Lord‘s presence or they just want to take a closer look at the beauty by his side. You picked out the ones that looked sour and enjoyed them slowly on the stroll.
“What happened after that?” I started, “You dissolved into thin air and when you reappeared, you weren’t seemed to age even one day.”
“Oh, I traveled. Time-traveling to be precise.”
I almost dropped the dango in my hand.
“Are you…a Youkai or an Onmyoji?” You didn’t smell like either of them but I asked anyway to be sure.
“Nooooo~, I’m a human, a normal novelist who happens to also be a time-traveler. That’s all.”
You were curious about the most mundane thing, like a blacksmith’s workshop. As we stood there watching the master working like hawks, you explained to me a bit about your ability. Like, you have a maximum of ten minutes before Time spat you out of that moment, thus, the delicate device which was your “pocket watch” came super handy. And then, you couldn’t fully control the time or the place of your destination, but if you constantly jump, you will have a higher chance of moving in one direction. “It used to be a lot worst when I was young.” You threw a handful of berries into your mouth and crunched down clumsily. As the blue juice spilled at the corner of your lips, you waited until it dripped down further before wiping it off with your fishnet thump.
“It is time for me to go.”
The sounds of the waves rose, but apparently, I was the only one hearing them. Once again, I stood there and watched your body being torn to pieces and flying up the sky. At the last moment, you suddenly asked.
“How is your life with the Kindred?”
“You saw them, charming fragile creatures. It’s always fun having them around.”
I gave a pause before deciding to continue. “That...was a good idea.”
The last piece of you which was the mouth chuckled before vanishing. All the fruit you have been carrying since at the market dropped to the ground at once. Later that day, when I came back to the castle, Oni Giri greeted me in the hallway and immediately apologized for his oversight, letting an unknown “Youkai” illegally trespass my territory.
“No worries. He is an acquaintance. Be nice to him if you two meet next time.”
.
I wasn’t expecting to meet you again so soon. It was only a week after, I just finished work and was enjoying a nice smoke when there were sound of a rain then followed by thump, thump, thump footsteps on my balcony. Being the highest architecture in this area, mortals physically can’t reach my chamber which was on top of the Akuma Castle without permission. Youkai, on the other hand…something that could go high enough to dodge Oni Giri’s supervision? Now that was something I shouldn’t make light of. I can see the shadow of the intruder cast on the paper doors. Whoever they were, they have no intention of concealing themselves. Wanting to approach me face-to-face but didn’t have the gut to walk through the front door? Then I don’t think I have time to play an honor game with them. Reaching for my katana, I swung it with a clear killing intent the second my door moved.
My hand didn’t flinch one bit even seeing it was your throat at the end of my cold blade. On the other hand, you were scared shitless you stopped breathing.
“S-sorry for intruding, I understand this’s the first time we meet-.”
“No…, we already met, actually.” I didn’t get this weird question of yours but it proved that you were the real one. I sheathed my sword in a clean motion and gestured for you to come in. You bowed down to untied your footwear, which I realized were such novelty-looking items with high heels like our women’s geta but not quite. It made you stand on your tiptoes, like a white crane, showing off your toned calves and a nice pair of cheeks. Why didn’t I see it sooner, I wonder? Oh, because your cloak was missing…
I expected to see your bare feet inside your elegant footwear but it turned out, you wore socks.
Flimsy fishnet socks.
In a blink of an eye, my blood stopped moving up my brain and headed to another place instead.
When you turned back, you spared me one glance and asked in a monotonous voice, “What is in your head, Vox?” I thought I made a funny expression but then, I found the reflection in the wine cup has my eyes glowed pink. “Exquisite garments you have there. Would you like wine or smoke?” I changed the topic with the most straight face I can manage.
You were more interested in the small poetry volume that I have on hand, among the pile of plan drawings I have scattered around me. The volume was a lost object someone dropped in my garden. The name got me curious, “Lighting in a bottle”, so I brought it back and have enjoyed it since then. I read it out loud for both of us because of course I wouldn’t let pass a chance to listen to my own voice. And you seemed to agree with it. So you sat across me on my low working table, the back of your hand cushioned under your chin. You stretched your body toward me to look at the small volume, even though you couldn't read it properly. As I read, I noticed your cheek was a bit sticky with sweat and your hair was tousled. I can hear your slight labor breath, even. Questions about your traveling aroused but at one point, I was too immersed in the book that when I looked up, you has already disappeared. Right, “ten minutes,” you said? Apparently, it was equivalent to roughly two book pages...
I frowned, feeling both disappointed and annoyed because you leaving without a word. Suddenly, I didn’t want to read books anymore.
.
Since that day, you came over much more frequently, almost every week. There was always something different with you each time, I noticed, like the perfumes you used, how you styled your hair, the rim of your glasses, etc. You always started with the question of whether or not we have met and then process to join in whatever business I was doing. I soon realized you couldn’t share much about your time trips. You kept making a blank face and acted awkward whenever I asked or wanted to continue what we were doing last time, thus, I stopped demanding an answer altogether.
“Tell me a story you wrote, Novelist-san.” I was feeding koi fishes when you visited again.
“...I don’t write, sorry.” You walked to my side, looked a bit tanned with healthy flushes on your cheeks. Two top buttons were off and showed a good view of your collar bones. Your shoulder grazed mine and I can feel a phantom of your body heat.
“You are a novelist but you don’t write novels? Then how can you be a novelist?”
“It’s all about delivering and sharing experiences, Vox. I don’t need to write books to be able to do that.”
I mumbled “Interesting”, satisfied with that answer, but I still wanted to hear a story. “Anything will do,” I said. You squinted and looked deep in thought.
With an extra gentle and somewhat melancholy voice, you started telling me a story of a city where feelings were strictly oppressed. It helped maintain a mentally stable society but at the same time, it kept people away from most kinds of joy in life. People survived and lied to themselves that they were happy. At that times, a descendant from a secret clan was living among humans. The Vessel of Chronos - they have lived in the far north of Europe since ancient time. Their people stood neutral at any point in history with only one duty waiting for their God’s return. But one descendant grew attached to a mundane human, enough to make him dare tap into the family’s blessed power, all to save one dear person of his from that trapped system. Because of it, the descendant accidentally created a chain of abnormal phenomena across the world. Too scared to face his family’s manhunt, he ran away by lunging himself into the sea.
“Did he die? What happened to the person he saved?”
“I haven’t followed that story for a while so I’m not sure.” You shrugged.
I pondered over the story, half of me felt astonished at the concept and the other half felt interested, extra sympathized with the character. Giving up everything, while dragging a bunch of innocence into his mess then runaway cowardly? Just the kind of chaos that Oni loved. I told you in a manner that has been rarely let loose ever since I lived with mortals, but I was fine with showing it to you. Because you were a true neutral here. However, I added in the end, “If that were me, I would do the same for the Kindred.”
“Of course, you would, but it’s not possible to shelter them forever.” What you stated was a fact. Harsh truth. But during a war and in front of an immortal leader, it tickled, and challenged my ability.
“They are safe here. I’ll make sure of it as long as I can.”
Your face contoured into a frustrated look then loosened as you sighed. You turned away. “Ike?” I reached out to grab your arm but only caught water bubbles between my fingertips. You vanished.
.
I believed you didn’t know how busy I was. It was almost impossible to have an audience with me without a one-week early appointment. But since you can pop into my life randomly, and I didn’t chase you away while sparing a good ten minutes to company you, I said, your chance of seeing me was higher than my right-hand man. Still, there were exceptional like official meetings, only when I finished that I was informed about your visit. Oni Giri grumbled while massaging the bridge of his nose.
“He has a terrible sense of humor just like you. I can’t believe it. Yours was bad enough for my patience and there exists another one? He watched a pigeon wearing a piece of bread then lose his mind on the spot. He laughed and laughed from beginning to end. I thought he didn’t breathe anymore.”
Following the Oni’s pointer, I found the fat pigeon with a bread slice on his neck like a pendant. He looked extra stupid with the wiggling walk and even brought the bread to scare off his friends. The more I looked, the funnier it got, and then I burst out laughing too. Such a shame that you didn’t know, but we managed to make Oni Giri sigh so hard I thought his soul left both his body and us.
And then, even if we can meet, it could be at the most inconvenient time and place for us (or just for you). You once landed into my onsen, liked from the sky above, when I was having sake and mildly drunk. You looked like a wet, frightened cat but I wasn’t sober enough to offer you help. I just sat there and waited for you to ground yourself.
“Sake?” I pushed the floating tray in your direction. “Since you are already soaked, why don’t you take off your clothes and enjoy the hot spring with me?”
“…I’ll leave in a bit anyway. So, no thanks.”
I snickered. You did not dare to approach me in my birthday suit, so you climbed on a boulder in the middle of the bath. It was cute watching you tried to cover your drenched self by hugging your knees close. The poor thing just dipped in the water a bit and already flushed red. Staying more, I was afraid you could totally pass out.
“You could look all you want. I don’t mind.” I insisted after the third time I caught you sneaking a peek at my naked chest. You puffed your cheeks, mumbled something along the line “…shameless and drunk”. Somehow, the words made me a bit conscious of the situation. I…didn’t normally feel that. I always had something to say and was in control of the matter. The silence dragged on with me lazily looking at you, wine in my hand while you tried to avert your eyes away. It made me kinda unhappy, though, because we always had something to chat about, whether about my pet projects, the stories or just mundane things at that moment. What were you shy about? Weren’t we all men?
“You should come here, Ike. The water source is on that side,” I waved my hand when your frame started swayed due to the heat. You didn’t answer, either you were a stubborn idiot or the lightheadedness got you good. My heart wouldn’t stand letting you fall face-first into the water again, so I warped my bottom in a towel and waded to you.
“Come now, I will carry you. How about that?” I opened my arms, waited.
But of course, you didn’t fall into my arms like the Kindred. You were too out of it to consent so I scoped you up, kept you high, away from the water and brought you outside. You tucked under my chin like a sleepy cat, your arms unconsciously circled my neck. This was the closest we had ever been, my brain noticed. The servants were shocked seeing you while the guards were alarmed, I have to shoo them to not make a fuss and leave us alone. “He is my guest,” I assured them. When I was checking the temperature on your necks and cheeks, they scattered to open doors for air circulation. Cold towels were pushed into my hands. I looked at them retreating with yukata’s sleeves raised high covering their mouths. What kind of rumors would go around my castle tomorrow, I can already imagine it.
I did not dare to turn my eyes away from you, couldn’t dry myself properly because of it. Wearing only a thin sleeping garment and my camelia embroidered haori, I waited, with worry that you would leave in this vulnerable stage. Fortunately, you woke up. It took a while for those olive-green eyes to be cleared of cloud, and without your glasses, you couldn’t recognize me at first. Your voice was slightly hoarse because of sleep but you have a huge smile on your face. Like, it’s was your best sleep in a long time.
“Hey there~. How long did I sleep?”
…
[ This was when things turned in an unexpected direction. ]
I glanced at the time candle and tried to not zero on how you played with the hem of my opened yukata casually. Roughly two-twelfth of the wax has melted away since I took the bath.
“More than half an hour,” I answered.
Your fingers stopped dancing on my bared stomach and your irises widen as realization overtook you. Suddenly, I was bombarded with a chain of incoherent words. You mumbled at an inhuman speed which was frightening.
“I-I-No...Ohgod-I fuckedupIfuckedupIfuckedup-ahAhhhHHHHH...”
Before I could ask or do something, anything, you curled into a tight ball with your head in your hands, and evaporated. It was in a blink of an eye that I wasn’t able to register what just happened, even thinking you were a dream if not for the Kindred asking.
You left me with so many questions that day. And they were only piled up from there.