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Searching the Stars

Chapter 7: Chapter 6

Summary:

Every little decision we ever make affects the outcome of our reality more than we know. This is one such instance.

Notes:

Title: Searching the Stars

I'd like to apologize for the hiatus. I let life and a new story distract me, and I hope you all will forgive me.

Sorry if this chapter isn't the best, but I promise I will come back to do some editing. And let me know what you guys think! I can't improve this story + my writing if you don't tell me what needs fixing.

I don't own Star Trek, only my OCs.

Enjoy!

Chapter Text

"No, Jim." Rosa threw a look her friend's way, watching as he gave her an exaggerated pout in response. The two were in Jim's and Bones' room. Bones had left hours ago, muttering something about needing quiet and throwing a subtle look Rosa's way. She tried to hide the way her cheeks warmed. It was supposed to be a rare day off studying, but Jim had other plans. Much to Rosa's—slight—frustration.

"Why not?" he whined. Jim rested his head on Rosa's shoulder, nuzzling his nose at the junction where her neck and shoulder met. "Just let me do this for you."

"No," she pressed, her cheeks flushing.

"It's your birthday; let's do something fun."

Rosa gently nudged Jim off her shoulder and gave him another look—more defeated than before. "I don't want to do anything, Jim," she said. "I'm serious. I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I don't want a party or anything. I want this to be like any other day."

November 30th was a weird day, in Rosa's opinion. She knew it was her birthday, but it never felt like her birthday. Or rather, she stopped associating the end of the month with her birthday to protect herself—a way to separate herself from when she was younger. The only person, besides Jim, who acknowledged Rosa's birthday was her aunt Alana. Her mother's sister.

Jim's expression softened as he nodded. He watched as Rosa let out a soft sigh and rested her head on his shoulder. "Have you called Lani?" he asked, resting his head atop hers. Jim was well acquainted with Rosa's aunt. She was a woman he respected and admired.

"She called this morning." Rosa couldn't help but smile. Alana was the closest thing the cadet had to a mother. When no one else was willing to take her in after the hospital, the older woman stepped in and stepped up. "She says hi and wants to know when you'll call her," Rosa stated. "She said she wants to know how her favorite nephew's doing."

Jim snorted, lifting his head with a smirk. "I'll have to give her a call one of these days," he snickered. "Can't keep her waiting too long, right?" Jim stood up with a huff, stretching his back as he heaved a heavy sigh. "She's still calling me her nephew," he chuckled. "She's too much sometimes."

"You practically lived at her apartment," Rosa reminded him, standing up. "She had a room just for you, but you always came to mine."

"Of course I did." Jim looked at her, instinctively grabbing her hands. She felt just how serious he was, making her chest tighten. "It was always you and me," he said softly. "Even back then."

"Not always." Rosa gave his hands a gentle squeeze. "We did have each other, but the others were there, too."

Jim nodded, giving her hands a gentle squeeze in response before dropping them. "I was thinking," he started, looking away, "maybe we can grab a quick bite to eat. Maybe look out at the water." He looked back at Rosa, gauging her reaction.

The cadet smiled. "I'd like that."


Rosa watched as the sky changed, but she often found her mind wandering, thinking about the man next to her. Jim was sitting close enough that Rosa could feel his body heat. He hadn't said much since they left his room, aside from the occasional "happy birthday" and commenting on how nice of a night it was. But there was something else. Something was swirling in his relaxed, nonchalance. A feeling close to contentment made a warmth wash over Rosa. Content in being so close, but a sense of longing just beneath the surface. She was reminded of her talk with Bones, and a twinge of anxiety shot through her.

"You know," Rosa started, nudging Jim's shoulder, "before you enrolled in the Academy, I thought you were mad at me."

"What?" Jim turned to look at her, brows furrowed in confusion. "Why would I be mad at you?"

"You weren't talking to me. I'd tried calling, but you weren't answering, so I thought I said something that upset you." Rosa looked over at him. "I was scared. I thought I had lost my best friend."

Jim shook his head. "It's not your fault I wasn't talking to you," he sighed. "That was on me."

"I know." Rosa looked down. She felt his confusion wash over her. "At the bar, I felt something was off with you. I wanted to ask, but you got—" She rubbed her hands over her pants and sighed heavily. "I don't know," she murmured and looked away.

"Hey, it's alright." Jim reached over and grabbed one of her hands. "You can tell me."

Looking back at him, Rosa pursed her lips. She kept thinking about what Bones said. Rosa would figure it out, but was she willing to risk her friendship? Should she admit her feelings or keep them to herself? Rosa knew the logical choice would be to say something and get it out in the open. But she couldn't find the courage to do so. Her mind rationalized that admitting to anything other than friendship would ruin years of friendship. Rosa would lose someone who meant the world to her, and she wasn't ready to face that.

"I just want us to be able to talk to each other," she said. The words came out of her mouth before she could stop herself. Inwardly, the cadet was cringing. How could she say something like that and still have trouble admitting her feelings? "But when we're ready," she added. "Whatever bothered you then, I won't force you to tell me now. But I'm always here when or if you need me."

Jim nodded. "Thank you," he sighed. "And the same goes for you, Rosie. I know there are things you're dealing with. I don't want you feeling rushed or anything. Tell me when you're ready to."

Rosa tried for a smile and nodded. Looking over at the water, she felt herself relax a little. The cadet knew part of her would continue to struggle with telling Jim, but she wasn't going to rush herself. She could only hope that it wouldn't be too late if that day ever came.


(Edited Last: August 25, 2022)