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After All That Training

Summary:

Chongyun has secretly harbored feelings for Xingqiu for a long time, but has learned to suppress them. He's always been afraid of letting his stronger emotions show, as he doesn't want to lose control of his yang energy. But when Xingqiu comes back from a trip from Inazuma after being away for almost two months, Chongyun starts to embrace his feelings as he and Xingqiu grow closer, both romantically and physically.

Notes:

Hello, one and all!

So this is my first fic that I've posted on here. I haven't actively written for a while, but I've always enjoyed it, even as a kid. So I hope you enjoy my journey into crafting a story again.

I'm trying to stick to current canon as much as possible, (with a few liberties here and there). but let's assume both Xingqiu and Chongyun are at least 18. The game's been going on for a year and a half, maybe they've aged since then. I don't specifically reference how old they are in the fic, so we'll just leave it at that.

Also, HUGE shoutout to SomethingDreamed, aka the best writer of Xingyun stories/smut on AO3. They inspired me to write for my favorite ship, and they encouraged me in my writing. If you love this ship as much as I do, go check their works out. They deserve ALL the kudos.

Ok! On with the story...I submit for judgement.

Chapter 1: Back From Across the Sea

Chapter Text

The calm summer breeze made its way across the fields of Liyue, carrying with it the scent of thousands of years of history. Hills of green grass stretched across for miles, ruins scattered across the horizons. There were no clouds in the sky, nor monsters to be seen anywhere near Liyue Harbor. It was a perfect summer day.

On one particular hill, though nothing about it stood out in any meaningful way, sat a young man with light blue hair. Ice particles hung in the air around him, a Cryo Vision glowing on his hip. This young man’s name was Chongyun.

And this week, his life was going to change forever.

Chongyun’s eyes were closed, his breathing deep. He often came up to this hill to meditate. He had a special condition that kept him from living in the same way others did. Some would call it a gift; he called it a curse.

Chongyun was born into a family of exorcists, and he had an excess of yang energy. Among his family of exorcists, this was a rarity. It meant he could repel evil spirits with his very presence, and he gave off an extraordinary amount of heat when his emotions were high. Thankfully, due to his constant diligence and training, that wasn’t very often.

What made life difficult was the fact that his excessive yang energy made it impossible for him to enjoy certain things others take for granted. Spicy food, huge crowds, loud music, and the touch of a lover were all forbidden. Not by any authority figure, but by himself. Chongyun had long since figured out what he could handle and what he couldn’t. If his yang energy got too high, he would act out in ways that were unbecoming to an exorcist…and that was only if he was lucky. In more extreme cases, he could end up destroying an entire room, or blacking out entirely with no memory of what had occurred. Fortunately, an incident like that had not happened in quite some time.

So Chongyun sat legs crossed on his favorite hill in Liyue, breathing in and out in a slow steady rhythm. He had gotten in the habit of meditating at least every couple days. He could do it in any area that was quiet, but this was his favorite spot. With a beautiful view of Liyue Harbor and the surrounding hills, close enough to town but far away enough that he could be by himself…it was his own personal paradise.

He felt completely at peace.

“Chongyuuuunnnn!!”

Not anymore.

Chongyun’s eyes fluttered open as a crease of slight annoyance flitted across his eyebrows. That loud, high pitched yell could only be Xiangling, the local chef of Wanmin Restaurant. Not that Xiangling annoyed him. In fact, she was one of his closest friends, and he was rather fond of her. But she could be slightly overbearing at times…and she also knew perfectly well that this was his meditation time. So unless it was some kind of emergency, he would possibly have a few choice words for her.

He looked around, his eyes gazing across the grassy hills around him. Ah, there she was, huffing and puffing up the hill leading up from the harbor. Chongyun couldn’t help but smile. Climbing a hill like this was no trouble for him, but then again, he was constantly training. Someone who spent all day cooking in a kitchen would likely not be used to an uphill climb, even though she was constantly out and about trying to find new ingredients.

“Th…there you are!” Xiangling huffed, coming to a still in front of the exorcist. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere…”

“Hello, Xiangling,” Chongyun greeted her pleasantly. “It’s good to see you…but what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in the restaurant right about now?”

“I got someone to cover for me,” Xiangling sighed, still catching her breath. “It’s a bit of a slow day anyway…Oh, I’m sorry, I know this is your alone time, but I needed to see you!”

“Ok, ok,” Chongyun chuckled. “Just…tell me what’s up.”

“Well…” Xiangling looked up at Chongyun, a huge grin forming on her face. “Xingqiu’s back!”

Oh. Oh.

Chongyun felt his insides twist into knots. He felt a pulse of energy off of his body as his emotions spiraled inside him. “Qiu…Xingqiu’s back?” he asked, trying to hide his overexcitement.

“Yeah! Apparently he just docked this morning…I didn’t hear about it until about an hour ago, apparently the whole crew went right to sleep as soon as they docked…poor things, must’ve been exhausted from the trip. But anyway, yeah, he’s back! He stopped in to see me, we didn’t get to talk long but he sounded really excited!”

“Oh,” Chongyun said, still trying to hold back his rapidly growing yang energy. “Uh…cool!”

Xingqiu…his best friend in the whole world…he was back! After weeks and weeks! It had to have been at least a month and a half, maybe longer…Chongyun had been able to put it out of his mind for the most part. Truth be told, his days had definitely been quieter as of late. No random visits with some new spicy concoction to be forced on him, no trips to a remote area for a tip about evil spirits that somehow always turned out to be nothing, no long winded recitations from books being read to him whether he liked it or not…Yes, it had been much quieter since Xingqiu had left for Inzauma.

But…for some reason…he had kind of missed all that…

“He asked about you, you know,” Xiangling said with a knowing look.

“Oh…h-he did?” Chongyun replied, hoping he sounded only mildly interested. “What *ahem* what did he say?”

“Not much. Like I said, he only stopped in for a couple minutes. But he wanted to know what his ‘dear Chongyun’ had been up to,” Xiangling said with a slight giggle.

Yeah. That sounded like Xingqiu, alright.

“Oh, I see.” Chongyun stood up, brushing off his legs. “Well, um…I guess I should go to see him, huh?”

“You make it sound like a chore,” Xiangling chuckled. “By all means, wait until tomorrow if it isn’t that pressing…”

“I didn’t say that,” Chongyun said quickly, his cheeks flushing. “I just…”

“He’s your best friend, isn’t he?”

“Ye…yes…”

“Well then…best not to keep him waiting,” she said with a wink. She began to walk back down the hill, calling back over her shoulder. “Come and find me later! I’d love to serve the both of you as a reunion present!”

“Ugh, Xiangling!”

But she was already gone.

“Chongyun…I need to tell you something.”

“What’s up, Xingqiu?

The two boys lay together out on the docks on Liyue Harbor, staring up into the early afternoon sky. The smell of the sea filled the air. There was a slight chilly breeze off the water; spring was only just beginning to change to summer. Workers could be heard shouting instructions as they unloaded fish and other such items.

Xingqiu rolled onto his elbow, looking over at the older boy. “I, um…I’m gonna be going away for a while.”

Chongyun stared at him, confused. “Going away? What do you mean?”

“I’m sailing out to Inazuma in a few days.”

“Wha…Inazuma?! Why are you going there??”

“Well…” Xingqiu scooched closer to the exorcist. “Don’t tell anyone…but my book is really taking off over there. There’s going to be a festival, and I’ll be signing books!”

Chongyun squinted. “You…signing books? With your handwriting?”

Xingqiu lightly punched Chongyun’s arm. “Ha, ha. I’ve been working on that. I’m getting better, you’ll see!”

Chongyun was quiet for a moment. “Wait…how long are you going to be gone?”

Xingqiu hesitated. “I’m not sure…it takes a couple weeks to sail over there. I’d say at least a month. Probably longer.”

Chongyun stared. “I…a whole month?!”

“Yeah,” Xingqiu sighed. He looked over at Chongyun, a small smile creeping onto his face. “Why, you gonna miss me?”

Chongyun rolled away from him, trying to hide his blushing face. “Psh…not on your life.”

Xingqiu scoffed, smacking Chongyun on the shoulder. Then, Chongyun felt his fingers slowly creeping down his back. Chongyun tried to get away, but he wasn’t fast enough. He felt the slender fingers reach under his armpit and start tickling him. Chongyun squealed in laughter, and began to roll away…

Right off the side of the dock.

Chongyun yelped as he fell towards the water, his instincts kicking in. Just as he was about to be submerged, he let out a blast of cryo energy, and the water around him froze. He landed on the frozen patch of ice with a sickening crunch.

“Ow.”

Xingqiu’s head popped over the side of the dock, his face full of concern. As soon as he saw what became of his friend, though, he began to laugh, his voice echoing down the docks. Chongyun, fuming, slowly stood up on the ice. Xingqiu, ever a proponent of chivalry, offered his hand.

“Yeah…you’re definitely going to miss me,” the young master said, grinning down at his friend.

And he had. Chongyun had missed Xingqiu a lot.

The young exorcist made his way through the busy streets of Liyue, lost in his own thoughts. He pondered the turmoil of emotions he was feeling. Truth was, he had struggled to control his yang energy in front of Xingqiu for years now. After a month and a half apart from his friend, he thought he had gotten it under control. But if anything, it had just gotten worse.

It wasn’t a mystery to him, though. He knew perfectly well why he acted this way, though he had never admitted it to anyone.

He was in love with Xingqiu.

For the longest time, he had tried to push it away. Not that he thought it was wrong for him to love Xingqiu, but if he could come dangerously close to overheating just from eating something with a little too much spice, Chongyun shuddered to think what would happen if he allowed himself to embrace his feelings for his best friend.

And his feelings were very, very strong.

Late at night, when he was at his weakest, sometimes he would give in to them. He would allow himself to imagine the wonderful, beautiful, horrible things he wanted to do to Xingqiu. Safe in his room, he could pleasure himself and release those feelings where he couldn’t hurt anyone.

That was his biggest fear. He could live down the times where he overheated and acted like, how did his friend Xinyan put it? ‘An adorable little doofus.’ It embarrassed him to no end when things like that happened…but at least no one got hurt.

But he had a lot of darkness inside. Years of repression and control had manifested some truly dark emotions. Sometimes, when coming home after another day of finding nothing, NOTHING, he would imagine destroying something with his claymore. Everyone described him as being one of the most calm, mild-mannered young men they’d ever met, but they didn’t know the anger he kept inside.

Nor did they know the unparalleled lust he held for Xingqiu. The list of depraved acts he would act out in his head when he was alone…it shocked even him. Thankfully, most of the time, his popsicles could keep all these emotions at bay.

But it wasn’t always enough. Sometimes when he was in the company of the young master, and he was doing…the provocative things he would do, it would get too much for him, and he would find an excuse to leave. Sometimes he wondered if Xingqiu knew how he felt…he seemed to revel in any opportunity to tease him or provoke him. Chongyun did his best to hide it, but Xingqiu had a way of bringing his emotions to the surface. If he did know, if he had figured it out, he certainly didn’t feel the same way. If he did, why in Tevat would he continue to torture him in the ways he did?

No, Xingqiu just saw him as a friend. And for now, that was how it would have to stay.

Chongyun came to a stop outside the Feiyun Commerce Guild. For once, Xu wasn’t out there; perhaps he had business to take care of after having returned from Inazuma. Xu was a worker for the Guild, and he held himself personally responsible for everything Xingqiu did. He took his job very seriously.

Chongyun watched the people walking by as the late afternoon sun shone overhead, wondering what he should do. Should he go in and ask about Xingqiu? No, that would be too forward. He should stay out here and wait for him. But wouldn’t that be worse, him loitering out here? What would be so bad about him just going in?

Oh, he was overthinking everything again. He would have to calm down. If he was this worked up when he saw his secret love…

Chongyun closed his eyes and tried to slow his breathing, in and out in a steady rhythm. It was a mediation technique his Aunt Shenhe had taught him. She, perhaps, was the only one who truly understood what it felt like to try and keep impulses as strong as his at bay. She at least had enchanted ropes she could tie around herself to help with her particular affliction. He had no such luxuries.

Breathe in…

Breathe out.

Breathe in…

Breathe out.

Breathe in…

“Chongyun! Hey!”

Chongyun’s eyes snapped open. He looked around wildly, looking for the source of the voice.

And there was Xingqiu, standing outside the entrance to the Feiyun Commerce Guild, waving at him.

Chongyun quite forgot about his breathing technique. He forgot about trying to think about his favorite spot on the hill. He forgot about his promise to himself to greet Xingqiu just as he always had.

All that mattered was the warm, fuzzy feeling he was getting from seeing his gorgeous, amazing friend after so long.

Chongyun felt a big dumb grin spreading across his face. He felt his lips calling Xingqiu’s name, but he couldn’t hear himself for some reason, nor anything else around him. He felt himself moving forward, faster and faster, towards his friend. Xingqiu’s eyes widened slightly, but he had a huge smile of his own.

And suddenly he had lifted Xingqiu into the air, and he was spinning him around. The young master was light as a feather, and he felt so good in his arms. Around and around he spun, holding his best friend tight. He didn’t want to let go.

He never wanted to let go.

Faint laughter rang in his ears, and for a moment he wondered where it was coming from. But as the noise of the world began to slowly turn itself back on, he realized it was coming from Xingqiu. His eyes were squeezed shut, and his mouth was open as he giggled and squealed, his arms tucked around him like a child.

“Yun…oh Yun, come on, put me down!” he laughed.

In a flash, Chongyun’s common sense came crashing back. Oh no…he had completely lost control of himself! Well, not completely…he wasn’t trying to tear Xingqiu’s clothes off in the middle of the street…but nonetheless, he was making an absolute fool of himself. Chongyun immediately put his friend down, looking mortified.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“Sorry?” Xingqiu said, looking like a kid just given a huge present. “What for?? Yun, I loved that! I haven’t seen you that excited in a long time!”

Chongyun felt his cheeks get very hot. “I just…missed you,” he admitted.

Here we go. Xingqiu was going to gloat. He had made a big deal before he left that Chongyun was going to DIE without him…and now here he was, proving him right. He waited for the usual teasing to start.

But Xingqiu wasn’t gloating or teasing. Rather, he was looking at Chongyun with a warm smile. He stretched out a hand, cupping Chongyun’s cheek. His amber eyes stared into his blue ones. If Chongyun didn’t know any better, he’d say they looked a little wet.

“Oh, Yun…I’m touched. I missed you too!”

Xingqiu pulled the older boy into a warm and gentle embrace. After a moment, Chongyun let his arms wrap around the young master. They held each other there, not caring about the people walking around them.

Chongyun immediately began to worry. This was the most physically close he had been to Xingqiu in a long time…occasionally they would share a quick hug, or Xingqiu would insist on holding his hand because he was “scared of evil spirits”…but not like this. He was afraid of the warm feeling he felt in his chest.

And yet…he felt strangely at peace. Almost like he was back on the hill meditating. How strange.

Maybe…this wasn’t so bad after all…

Chongyun let his head rest on his friend’s shoulder, closed his eyes, and smiled.