Chapter Text
“Verin, what the fuck?” Essek hisses.
Verin shrugs. “I don’t know! I think maybe I got cursed?”
*
When Essek had received the Sending from his brother after Essek had fled the Dynasty, Essek had expected many things when he chose to disregard caution and teleport to his brother anyway. A trap had seemed the most likely.
Not – this.
“Verin,” Essek says flatly. “You have a tail instead of legs.”
“Sure do,” Verin agrees, from where he’s sitting on the beach, waves gently lapping over him. He flicks his tail – his tail! – at Essek, and only a hastily cast Shield stops Essek from being splashed with seawater.
Essek shoots his brother a withering glance, and Verin merely snickers in return.
“So anyway,” asks Verin. “Can you help me fix it?”
Part of Essek wants to sniff disdainfully and say Of course I can. But Essek has been trying to be more truthful, as of late.
So instead: “I don’t know,” says Essek. “But I will certainly try.” He looks around. “Why in the Light were you visiting Blightshore, anyway?”
“I had some leave-time saved up and I wanted to see the ocean.”
“Here?!” Essek gestures towards the grey, bleak, rocky wastes and the equally grey, bleak water lapping onto it.
“Xhorhas doesn’t have very many beaches,” says Verin. “I didn’t have a whole lot of choice.”
“Verin,” Essek pinches the bridge of his nose. “My dear little brother. Did you attempt to swim here. In these Calamity-cursed ocean waters.”
Because there’s bad luck, and then there’s making terrible life choices.
“I mean, yeah? Kind of? Well, I started wading, and when the water got up to my hips, this happened.” Verin gestures to his lower half, which has become a tail like that of the merfolk.
“Verin,” Essek says slowly. “Why are you still sitting in the cursed water?”
“I don’t want my tail to dry out!”
Unbelievable. Typical Verin.
Essek covers his eyes with one hand, and uses the other hand to make the “all clear” sign Essek and his backup had agreed upon.
Essek then sighs heavily, uses a gravity spell to pull Verin out of the water and further up the beach, and unfastens his cloak and throws it at his very dumb younger brother. “Dry off, and let’s see what happens.”
Verin dries off, and the tail turns back into legs.
“There!” Essek gestures impatiently. “Problem solved.”
“Okay, but what if it happens again?” asks Verin as he climbs to his feet.
“Brother, do not swim in the waters of Blightshore again and I think you will be fine!”
“I hate to say it, but I agree with your brother,” says Fjord. “Weird ocean magic is not nearly that simple. I know that from experience.”
Verin jumps slightly when he sees the other person who is now standing next to Essek. “What the – were you here the whole time?”
“Of course,” Fjord twirls the Star Razor in a deliberately casual fashion. “Had to make sure it wasn’t a trap.”
Verin frowns. “Why would it be a trap?”
Fjord and Essek exchange glances.
“I can’t tell if he’s fucking with us or if he genuinely has no idea,” says Fjord, after a lengthy pause.
“In my experience, it could go either way,” says Essek.
*
Fjord has an excellent point about water magic being complicated, so Essek teleports them all back to where he’s staying so they can do further testing.
“You’ve been living in Nicodranas?” Verin asks.
“A temporary stopover,” Essek lies. “I spend most of my time elsewhere.” More lies.
Essek had intended it to be a temporary stopover in his fugitive life, and then he had sort of … just never left. It’s complicated. But his brother doesn’t need to know any of that.
At the Lavish Chateau, they (very politely, asking permission first) commandeer Marion’s bathtub to run some experiments.
The tub is massive, easily capable of holding several people. (“Much bigger than the one that we broke that one time,” notes Fjord.)
They find out that while fresh water does nothing, salt water makes Verin’s legs turn back into a mertail after several seconds of being submerged. Dipping his feet in does nothing; it has to be the majority of the legs.
“Well, at least I can still bathe,” says Verin. “That would be very inconvenient.” He sighs. “Though I guess I should avoid any beach vacations in the future.”
Essek has just completed running a series of complex diagnostic spells on his brother, and frowns. “Yes, but we still do not know why this is happening.”
“I know you wanted to keep this quiet, Essek,” says Fjord, “but I think we need to bring in more help.”
Essek sighs. There’s a reason he’d invited Fjord and only Fjord to be his backup when he teleported to see Verin in the first place – because Fjord is the only member of the Mighty Nein with even a passing familiarity with the concepts of operational security and de-escalation and discretion.
The rest of the Mighty Nein will not be pleased to find out they were left out of a mission like this. But Fjord is correct, they do need more help.
“You’re right,” Essek sighs. “You’re right. Call them.”
By the Light, Essek is not looking forward to this.
*
There is a great deal of scolding and yelling and threats leveled at both him and Fjord when the others start to arrive.
“You’re on thin ice, less-hot boi.” Veth points a finger in his face.
“Less-hot?” Jester says, indignant. “I’m still super mad but Essek is still super hot, don’t be mean, Veth!”
Veth gestures at Verin in the bath tub. “He’s the new hot boi.” Verin preens at the compliment, and Essek suppresses the urge to throttle his brother.
“He’s not hotter than Essek! Fjord, back me up!”
“Oh no.” Fjord raises his hands in front of himself. “I am staying out of this debate.”
Excellent advice from Fjord. Essek will stay out of this as well. He goes over to where Caduceus is communing with the WildMother, and tries to ignore the commentary going on behind him
“Anyway, Cayleb thinks Essek is hotter!”
Essek clenches his jaw. He is staying out of it. Staying. Out. Of it.
“Lebby has better taste than that!”
Essek barely conceals his flinch. But Veth knows Caleb better than anyone. Of course she would know his thoughts on … certain topics.
Jester and Fjord have gone strangely quiet behind him.
Veth sighs after several moments of silence. “Okay, yeah, even I don’t believe that.”
Wait, what? Veth doesn’t believe what?—
“Okay, I’m done,” says Caduceus, opening his eyes and standing up. “The Wildmother gave me some answers, but I’m not sure you’ll like them. Jester, did you want to commune with the Traveler?”
“I already did that,” says Jester. “Like, as soon as I got here. His answers were weird, too.”
Essek has a terrible feeling about this.
*
“What do you mean inherited?” Essek hisses.
“Huh,” says Verin. “Guess that makes sense.”
“What?” Essek whips his head around to stare at his brother. “How? How can the idea that you inherited a merfolk tail possibly make sense to you?”
“Umavi is great at controlling rumors in Rosohna, but she can’t be everywhere,” says Verin. “At Bazzoxan, there were all kinds of rumors about Dad being less full-blooded drow than he looked.”
Essek has so many questions right now. So many.
But years with the Mighty Nein have taught him how to narrow in on the important details and not get distracted by tangents. “Fine, perhaps. But a tail, Verin?”
“That does seem rather extreme,” Verin allows. “But, well,” and he gestures to his own lower half. “Pretty hard to discount the evidence.”
“A lot of sea elves can shift back and forth like that,” Fjord adds. “Some of them have purple skin, too. It’s not that far-fetched.”
“If it’s inherited, though, where’s hot boi’s tail?” Veth asks.
Essek freezes. Well, that’s certainly a question Essek would like to ignore for the rest of his entire life.
But of course his friends aren’t going to let him.
“Oooh, Essek, do you have a tail too? Show us!” Jester demands, already starry-eyed at the idea.
“Jester, Essek’s had a lot to adjust to, maybe give him a minute,” says Fjord.
“You better have a tail, I don’t see why I should have to suffer this alone,” says Verin.
“No, wait, that’s dumb,” Veth jumps in. “If hot boi had a tail we’d have seen it by now! He’s lived in Nicodranas for –”
Fjord starts coughing and Essek clears his throat in warning.
Veth falters. “--I mean he literally just arrived for a visit and definitely hasn’t lived here for years! Who’s Essek?”
Essek puts his head in his hands.
“To be fair, we’ve only ever seen you wade up to your ankles in seawater.” Fjord shoots an apologetic glance at Essek. “It might be better to test it –”
“--Under controlled conditions.” Essek sighs heavily. “Fine. Fine. Are the others coming soon? I only want to do this once.”
“Caleb said he would come as soon as he was done with classes for the day, since it wasn’t an emergency. He’s bringing Beau and Yasha with him,” says Caduceus.
Jester gasps. “Caduceus, you messaged Cayleb before I could? How could you!” She points at him dramatically. “The blood feud is back on!”
Caduceus nods. “I accept the consequences of my actions.”
Essek thinks they’re joking. He hopes.
*
As it becomes apparent that Caleb, Beau, and Yasha won’t be arriving any time soon, Essek grows impatient. At this point, he’d rather just get this potentially humiliating experiment over with as soon as possible.
As his friends would say, fuck it.
Essek starts methodically removing his layers of clothing.
“Wait, what are you doing?” Verin asks, slightly panicked, eyes going wide.
Essek finishes folding his cloak and sets it down on a convenient shelf. “I am getting this over with.”
Years of spending time with the Mighty Nein has eroded his sense of modesty. What’s one more embarrassment, after all?
“But, you, what?”
Essek rolls his eyes. “Everyone in this room has seen me without clothing at some point, Verin. Including you.”
“We were kids!” Verin yells.
“Um, actually–” says Yeza Brenatto, raising his hand.
Veth covers his eyes with her hand. “Shhh don’t ruin this for us, honey,” Veth says in a tone that is probably supposed to be a whisper but completely fails to be.
(Essek would wonder why Veth brought her husband, except he doesn’t need to, because it’s Veth. As with so many things in Essek’s current life, he just mentally shoves it in the category “Because The Mighty Nein”, and moves on.)
“I still feel really weird about this,” says Verin.
“You are currently naked right now, Verin! Close your eyes if it offends you so much.”
Verin does, in fact, close his eyes.
Essek shrugs off his vest, then strips off his undertunic. A series of wolf whistles come from various members of the Mighty Nein.
“Maybe I should go pick up Luc from school,” says Yeza.
“School’s not out for two more hours,” says Veth. “Just keep your eyes closed.”
*
After Essek finishes disrobing, he slides into the bathtub full of seawater on the opposite side of the tub as his brother.
The Mighty Nein and Yeza crowd around to watch.
Everyone, including Essek, stares at Essek’s legs in the water for several seconds, as they stubbornly remain legs.
A minute passes. Two minutes pass.
Essek is just starting to relax (and start feeling smug) when his legs start tingling and itching and —
“Fuck.” Essek breathes, looking down at his brand new tail.
Essek gives it an experimental flick, displacing much of the water out of the tub and startling an indignant yelp out of Verin.
Yes, that surely is a tail. Attached to him.
Essek puts his head in his hands and groans. Fine. Fine. This might as well happen.
What else can go wrong?
Just as Essek finishes that thought, a muffled thump sound comes from behind everyone crowded around the tub.
“Caleb!” Beau and Yasha’s voices ring simultaneously across the room.
*
After a flurry of concerned activity and a series of healing spells, Caleb regains consciousness.
Essek feels something unclench inside his chest as Caleb rouses and Essek realizes he’s going to be fine.
“Here,” Veth pulls out a handkerchief, dips it in the water, and dabs at Caleb’s face with it. “You still have a little trickle of blood coming out of one nostril.”
“Was,”murmurs Caleb, as he blinks and looks around. “What is –” He looks at Essek and freezes. He blinks, shakes his head fervently, then blinks again. “What. What!”
“Oh man Cayleb,” says Jester, jumping in before anyone else can. “You will not believe –” and Jester fills in Caleb and the others with a highly exaggerated description of recent events.
Essek would probably be more entertained if he weren’t the one living it.
“...I …see,” says Caleb weakly, as Jester finishes her storytelling. Yasha looks over at Essek with quiet sympathy.
Beauregard, on the other hand, is bent over nearly in half, clutching her sides with laughter. “This is the best thing that’s ever happened,” she manages to choke out, before dissolving back into laughter again.
Essek covers his face with his hands and represses the urge to scream.
There’s a soft pat on his shoulder. “I’m sorry this happened.” says Yasha. “I know you didn’t pick it, and it sucks that it happened anyway.”
Essek attempts a weak smile as he turns to look up at her. “Thank you, Yasha.” She is always so kind.
“Your tail is really pretty, though,” Yasha adds.
“What, and mine isn’t?” Verin says, indignantly.
Yasha, generous soul that she is, hastens to add that of course Verin’s tail is pretty, too.
“Yes, Verin,” Essek says, putting as much dry sarcasm as he can into the statement. “That is the important thing here. Not that we are discovering new and terrible surprises about our family background. But that your tail is ‘pretty’.”
Essek makes the “finger-quotes” hand motion Jester had taught him, to emphasize his point.
“Both your tails are really super pretty!” Jester chimes in. “I want one for me!” She shoots a glance at Caleb. “Cayleb, isn’t Essek’s tail pretty?”
Caleb’s face is flushed, and he keeps darting his eyes toward the bathtub, and then quickly looking away. “I, ah, well –”
“I bet it makes swimming much easier,” says Caduceus.
“I bet it does too!” says Verin. “Can someone carry me down to the beach? I want to go swimming in the ocean!”
“Ooh, me me!” says Jester. “I bet I can!” She grabs Verin and immediately starts trying to lift him up into her arms.
Essek opens his mouth to point out that Verin just needs to dry off his legs and he can walk.
“It’s fine,” says Fjord, putting a hand on Essek’s shoulder to stop Essek from speaking up. “Let them have this.”
“I guess it would be pretty cool, having a tail,” says Beau.
“You’d look really hot with a tail, babe,” adds Yasha.
“There’s no way I’d ever get one,” Veth cuts in.
Yeza squeezes her hand. “And you don’t have to, honey. Not after what you went through.”
“Well, yes, that, but I was talking about the fact that their junk went away.”
Caleb makes a strangled choking noise, his face growing flushed. The rest of the Nein have a variety of different facial expressions: bemused, concerned, sympathetic, mildly horrified, and downright gleeful, among others.
Essek blushes to the tips of his ears. The parts in question haven’t gone away, actually, simply … shifted configuration.
However, Essek sees absolutely no reason to inform Veth or anyone else of that fact.
Veth continues heedless “--There’s no way I want to give up sex–”
“--Okay, Veth, I think that’s enough–” Fjord tries to interrupt.
“Oh, it didn’t go away!” Verin jumps in cheerfully.
Essek’s head snaps up, staring daggers at his brother. Shut up, you idiot.
“It’s just hidden,” Verin continues, completely unaware of Essek’s attempts to murder him with the power of his mind. “There’s like this patch of scales – I think they’re retractable now?”
This announcement is tantamount to setting off a massive arcane explosion in the middle of the room.
After several seconds of shocked silence, a cacophony of sounds, exclamations, and other various reactions start erupting from the group.
Amidst all the chaos, Essek meets Caleb’s eyes. He has the distinct pleasure of watching Caleb’s face turn even redder, almost the same shade as his hair.
Perhaps this isn’t so awful.
Essek gives Caleb a wry grin. And then winks at him.
Caleb’s eyes roll up in the back of his head and he falls to the floor with another muffled thump.