Chapter Text
Roach was, understandably, not impressed. Neither was Stede.
“Really, dear, why did you think that was a good idea?” He chastened.
“Izzy-”
“Does not control you and you shouldn’t have done that.”
“I’m fine.” Izzy grumbled. “It’s not like I’ve never pulled stitches out before.”
“Hush Izzy, I’ll get to you in a minute.”
-
Breakfast was somewhat late that morning. Roach delivered it to a very silent cabin, kept that way by one Stede Bonnet. After having lectured both Ed and Izzy on the nature of their idiocy, Roach had left and then Bonnet had delivered the same lecture all over again. The withering look of disappointment was enough to make even Izzy feel guilty. Even if it had been him that suffered and not Bonnet.
“Can I sit with Izzy yet?” Ed pouted.
“If you promise not to roughhouse.”
Izzy scowled. “Are you seriously taking orders from him, boss?”
“Yeah, and last I checked you still take orders from me, so shut it.”
Izzy obeyed. He felt more comfortable now that the chain of command had been reestablished. Captain, first mate, and… captain’s boyfriend…? Izzy didn’t know what to call him and it certainly wasn’t going to be co-captain. Bonnet was… fine, he supposed, but he hadn’t done anything to earn that level of respect from him.
Bonnet sighed. “Of course you can. But be gentle with him, Ed. And yourself. You’re lucky you didn’t rip out any of your own stitches too!”
Izzy grimaced as he realized that Bonnet had a point. Izzy shouldn’t have egged him on. What if Ed had gotten hurt because of him again? He’d almost forgotten that Ed had suffered any wounds at all; he was moving so easily and calmly.
Ed clambered up into bed beside Izzy, casually pulling him onto his lap and resting his chin on the top of his head.
“Your beard is getting in my eyes.” Izzy grumbled.
“That’s rough.” Ed replied and didn’t move.
Izzy sighed and resigned himself to being partially blind for the foreseeable future. Bonnet dragged a chair and a table over, displaying the breakfast spread across it with a flourish.
“Wow! Roach really outdid himself today!” Bonnet chirped.
“Roach was late.” Izzy pointed out.
“Roach had to lecture two idiots.” Bonnet replied and Izzy had to concede the point. With the way his back was stinging, he did kind of feel like an idiot. At least he hadn’t torn the ones between his legs. He did not want to be awake for the humiliating experience of that being stitched up.
“How do you take your tea, Izzy?”
“I don’t know, in a cup?” Were there different ways to drink a liquid?
“He means do you want sugar or cream in it?” Ed interjected, his voice a little muffled by the sandwich he’d already shoved in his mouth.
“Oh. No.” Sugar was a luxury that Izzy rarely touched. He would admit that he did have a sweet tooth, but he rarely let himself indulge in it. On an empty stomach, as his stomach often was, sweets would only make him feel sick.
Izzy’s hands had stopped shaking and he could now apparently be trusted with hot liquids. He took the offered cup and eyed it suspiciously. It was a different color than the tea Roach had given him, more brown than orangish yellow. He took a hesitant sip. It was… bolder than the other tea had been, but it was still passable. He’d have much preferred coffee but it would do. He looked up and saw that both Ed and Bonnet were watching him expectantly.
“What?”
Bonnet shook his head and quickly looked away. “Nothing.”
Ed pushed the tray closer to Izzy. “Eat something.”
Light and fluffy scrambled eggs, toast, bacon, sandwiches, crepes, and fruit. Izzy eyed up the toast, but bread wasn’t going to be a safe bet this morning his churning stomach told him. He opted for a crepe. Folding the thin pastry in half, Izzy nibbled on it absently. It was weird eating this late in the morning. He usually woke a few hours before sunrise and he’d eat then, if he ate at all, so that any gagging and retching could be done out of earshot of the crew.
Izzy ate around what Ed went for, leaving the choicest bits for his captain. Dealing with that and his own eating issues left little that Izzy could actually eat, and it wasn’t long until he’d decided that he’d had enough. He’d come back to whatever scraps they left him. In the meantime, he nursed his cup of tea.
“You didn’t eat very much.” Ed said accusingly.
Izzy shrugged. “Not hungry.”
Lies. Izzy was always hungry, he’d just learned how to ignore it.
Thankfully, neither Ed or Bonnet pushed it and Izzy was left alone with his tea. The two of them chatted, quickly distracted by inconsequential things and Izzy gazed out the window at the sea, wondering when they’d kick him out. He hoped it was soon. He felt like a useless accessory, here because they pitied him and not because they liked him.
“-zy. Izzy!”
Izzy jumped, and it was a good thing the cup was almost empty or he would have had burns to go with his lash marks.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you! Lost in thought?” Bonnet asked.
“Not really.” He shrugged. Nothing important anyways.
“I was wondering if you’d like to get cleaned up?”
The memory of the last time he’d had a ‘bath’ flashed through Izzy’s head and he shook himself to clear it. No. It wouldn’t be like that. Ed would make sure that Bonnet wasn’t going to just dump a bucket of ice cold sea water on his head.
“Yeah. I would.”
Ed carried him to the bathroom, insistent that he not pull out his stitches again. Izzy grumbled and pouted the whole way. Bonnet fetched a bucket of water, gathered up what seemed like a million different bottles of floral scented goo, and gently shut the door behind him. Izzy almost laughed. What did Bonnet care of his modesty; he’d already seen Izzy as humiliated as he could possibly get.
“Here. Stand in the tub.”
Ed put him down and Izzy cautiously found his footing on the porcelain. He was barefoot; he hadn’t worn his boots since his capture. He wasn’t wearing a shirt either. Lifting his arms that high pulled at his wounds and hurt too much for it to be worth it. Besides, the bandages covered most of his torso anyway.
“Need help with your pants?” Ed asked.
He didn’t know what to make of this mother hen version of Ed. It was nothing like anything he’d ever seen from him before. Ed got angry when he was hurt, he didn’t stop and check up on Izzy’s wounds. Hell, sometimes he’d been the cause of them. Was this Bonnet’s doing? Izzy feared for Ed. How far would this go? How long before Ed became so soft and weak that he was vulnerable? This needed to stop before it infected Izzy too. One of them needed to be strong enough to keep them safe.
He rolled his eyes, brushing Ed off. “I think I’m okay.”
Izzy had no qualms about stripping in front of Ed. Pirate ships were small, privacy was a rarity. He made the mistake of glancing down at his bare hips and grimaced. Bruises, yellowing and starting to fade, encircled his waist in the shape of handprints. Where they’d grabbed onto him to hold him still. Izzy ghosted his fingers across them, as if he could just brush them away. They didn’t hurt, not really, but the marks were a humiliating reminder of what he’d let happen to him.
“Why are you okay with this?” He asked before he could stop himself.
“I’m not.” Ed snarled. “If any of those bastards are still alive, I’ll kill them myself.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Huh?”
Izzy shook his head. It didn’t matter. He shouldn’t have brought it up. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Iz.” Ed said in that tone that Izzy knew all too well. He traced the lines of his bruises as he obeyed the unspoken order.
“This. You deserve a first mate that isn’t so badly damaged. That’s physically able to do their fucking job. That’s not so damn weak .” His body shook with the force of his confession and he braced one hand against the rim of the tub to steady himself.
Ed was quiet for a long, painful moment. “Would you think any less of me if they’d raped me?”
“Of course not.”
“Then why do you think less of yourself?”
“It’s different. I asked them to.”
“To protect me.”
Izzy shook his head. “I liked it.”
Ed narrowed his eyes, confused, and Izzy clarified. “After you won their game, they took me into the captain’s cabin. Torres’ first mate… used me. I came.” He laughed bitterly. “I had to have liked it at least a little in order to do that.”
“So? That’s an unconscious reaction.” Ed replied, crossing his arms in a way that broached no further arguments. “Besides, didn’t I tell you to quit talking about yourself like that?”
Izzy remembered that he had and he idly wondered what the punishment for disobeying it would be. Before Bonnet, Ed had been liberal with them. He twitched the fingers of his unbroken hand, feeling phantom shards of glass still wedged within the flesh. That one had been for touching Ed’s things without permission. Blackbeard had been in a particularly bad mood that day.
“Sorry, boss.” He replied, clinging to the edge of the tub to avoid falling over when Ed hit him.
Ed began to tug at his bandages instead. “Lift your arms a little. I can’t get this one.”
Izzy held his arms up, just enough to be out of Ed’s way. The cloth strips were pristine and white, having been changed just this morning by Roach. Ed was gentle as he unwound them, forming a neat pile as he went. Izzy winced as he was finally allowed to drop his arms. Some of the lash marks wrapped around his ribs and there were stitches in his sides as well.
He jumped when a wet cloth touched his belly. “Ed, I can do it myself.”
“I know. But I want to. So hush.”
Izzy sighed but allowed the ministrations on his body. If this was what his captain wanted, then Izzy would let him do it. The water was pleasantly warm against his skin and the soap that Ed had chosen smelled of citrus. He closed his eyes and soaked in the tenderness. It felt good to be taken care of, even if it was something he didn’t think he’d earned.
When Ed was finished, he hauled the bucket up onto a stool. “Alright, head back. I need to wash your hair.”
With a bit of trial and error, Izzy found a position that didn’t completely feel like he was breaking his neck. Ed massaged shampoo into his scalp and Izzy bit his lip to silence a whimper. He shouldn’t want this. He shouldn’t be reacting like this. But he did , and he was . He let Ed push his head down into the bucket and rinse the soap from his hair, marveling at how very safe he felt. He closed his eyes; what heaven had he accidentally fallen into? Or was he simply dreaming?
-
Ed smiled to see the blissful expression on Izzy’s face. He wondered if Izzy knew that he was leaning into Ed’s hands whenever he touched him. He was so touch-starved and Ed wondered how he hadn’t noticed. He could, he would do better. He would look after Iz the way Iz always looked after him.
Izzy’s eyes fluttered open when Ed took his hands away. Ed managed not to laugh at the brief pout that graced his face. “Bath’s over. Come on, up you get.”
He watched carefully as his first mate stood and climbed out of the tub, knowing all too well that he’d follow Ed’s orders even to the extent of hurting himself. Izzy winced getting out and Ed immediately scooped him up and helped him the rest of the way out. Izzy didn’t like to show pain. If he did, it usually meant it was far worse than what he was letting on.
“Do you want more drugs?”
“It’s fine. I just… pulled something.” Izzy glanced away awkwardly and Ed winced as he realized just what ‘something’ Izzy was referring to. He felt a flash of guilt and he covered it up by tossing a set of Stede’s pajamas at Izzy. Izzy caught the fluffy bundle of cloth and raised an eyebrow at it. “These aren’t mine.”
“They’re Stede’s. Really soft and cozy.”
“Your boyfriend okay with me stealing his clothes?”
Ed felt his cheeks redden at the comment. He fiddled with his sleeves, the fabric nearly soaked, as he tried to hide his flusteredness. “Yeah.”
Izzy grunted, but didn’t quit giving them that same look. He’d change his mind just as soon as he put them on. Ed helped him get the bandages back on and then into the set of pajamas.
Ed grinned, wide as a cat, as he saw Izzy’s pleasantly shocked expression. “Soft, huh?”
“...Yeah.”
Ed looped a towel around his shoulders for Izzy’s hair to drip onto, and then he picked him up and carried him right back to bed. Where he would be staying put until Roach said otherwise, no matter how Izzy happened to feel about it.