Chapter Text
He was doing it on purpose.
For over an hour you had been strolling aimlessly through the crowds in the royal gardens, the silk fan a constant in your hand to provide even a modicum of relief from the late morning sun. Yet, a full hour later, you still hadn’t caught sight of him. You would never admit to him, of course, that your furtive glances around the grounds had been in search of him - always your eyes searched for him - but his absence weighed on you like an anchor weighs a ship. Your parting words to him at the Ēostre celebrations had been a teasing declaration that he wouldn’t survive not seeing you again until Midsummer, words you were quickly coming to regret as the minutes continued ticking on and Loki remained absent. How badly you wished it was something you didn’t even notice.
“The palace looks wonderful, doesn’t it, my lady?” Astrid’s sweet voice floated faintly to your ears over the chatter of the crowd. Ever loyal, she had followed along only half a step behind while you had wandered through the crowds, feeling decidedly like a predator that was stalking its prey.
“Hmm?” you answered, half distracted by what had looked like a familiar flash of emerald green in the distance. It wasn’t him. “Oh. Yes, it does. I doubt anyone celebrates the summer solstice as brilliantly as Her Majesty,” you replied vaguely, continuing your aimless stroll through the gardens.
In truth, you had noticed little of Frigga’s handiwork Since stepping through the palace gates your sole mission had been locating Loki. Not to run gaily through the crowd and leap into his arms, heavens no, but to pin him in the corner of your eye, to know exactly where he was as you both resumed your centuries old game of teasing, flirting, and innuendo that had come to define your relationship. You wanted to continue making him want you without being able to have you.
“And the smells, my lady!” Astrid continued at your side, taking a dramatic breath in. “I hope this is what Valhalla smells like.”
You smiled fondly at the girl. New to your service, it was her first time attending the Midsummer festival and her wonderment was close to infectious. It was impossible not to follow her lead and breathe in the summer air, perfumed with a heady mixture of honeysuckle and lavender; the Queen’s favourite flowers.
“Wait until we reach the food stalls in the lower courtyard. Then you’ll really know what Valhalla smells like,” you told her, her wide excited face making you briefly pause in your search for Loki.
On any other occasion, he would have sought you out by now. Like two magnets, you always managed to find your way to each other no matter how big the crowds or how solemn the occasion was. Briefly, you felt a firm pang of worry in your chest. Perhaps he had grown bored? Perhaps he had found some new young thing to occupy his time? It was Loki after all.
“It is good to see you here, my lady,” a voice greeted you from behind, one so comfortingly familiar it brought an easy smile to your face.
“A pity that the same can’t be said about you,” you replied lightly, letting Thor close the distance between you both and envelop you in an embrace.
Effortlessly, he swayed you both from side to side. “The warmest heart on Asgard, yet your words cut like the ice of Jotunhein.” He said, though not without a friendly squeeze of your upper body.
Relinquishing your hold on him, you gazed kindly at Thor’s handsome face. “You know I love you dearly, even if you do disappear off-world for months without even a letter. Does our friendship mean nothing to you?” You teased him, taking his arm and allowing him to escort you through the crowds, Astrid faithfully at your heels.
Thor’s face broke into a proper grin. “You heard about that?”
A bark of laughter escaped you at how genuinely surprised he sound, as though Asgard had spoken of nothing else for the past few months. “I’m sure the entire Nine Realms heard about that!”
He shrugged carelessly. “What is a Prince without a little adventure?” he offered, his blue eyes twinkling at you.
Eagerly, you waited for more, waited for him to bring up what the entire realm was saying had happened on Midgard. Thor, though, offered you nothing more, content to simply stroll along in silence and take in the bustle of the festivities around him. Soon, the manicured grass under your feet merged into ornate stone as he led you through the high archway into the lower courtyard. Behind you, you heard Astrid’s tiny gasp as she was presented with an array of food stalls spread out across the wide space.
“Mother really has outdone herself this year,” Thor spoke almost to himself, his eyes turned up to the brilliant blue sky above him. Frigga had enchanted hundreds of flower buds to float just out of reach above the crowds, making the entire courtyard feel like the inside of a kaleidoscope.
Impatiently, you clicked your tongue. “You’re really not even going to mention it?”
He turned his gaze to you, his face the picture of innocence. “Mention what?”
“What happened on Midgard? Your mortal?” you prompted him. “Did you really fall in love with a Midgardian?”
Thor’s face instantly softened, his wide grin melting to a soft smile. It told you everything you needed to know. “I did,” he answered simply.
“Aren’t they very…dull?” you asked before you could stop yourself.
Thor laughed, a great booming sound that caused a few small children to look in your direction. “I once thought the same.” He admitted, slowly shaking his head. “But…not Jane. She’s clever and brave and fiery. Much like someone else I know.”
You gave his arm a small squeeze. “And the Allfather? What does he have to say about it?” You turned your gaze to study him, seeing the small lift of his eyebrows and how his smile began to falter.
“Father thinks as you would expect. He sees her as nothing more than a passing phase that I’ll soon forget about, but I’ve learned not to let his opinion define me any longer. I promised Jane I would return for her and I intend to keep that promise, no matter what Father says,” he replied, sounding more determined than in all the centuries you’d known him.
Thor had steered you both towards the grand fountain in the centre of the courtyard and, gladly, you perched on its edge, the weak spray of cool water providing welcome relief. “You always were unfailingly honourable,” you said as he sat next to you. “Do you remember when we were children and you accidentally pushed me off the rocking horse in your nursery? Your nurse thought it was Loki but you refused to let her blame him. You could have stood by and let him take the heat but you didn’t.”
He laughed fondly at the memory. “He got blamed for so much already that I couldn’t. He isn’t as indestructible as he’d like people to think he is.”
“And how is he? Loki?” you asked, trying your best not to show how even saying his name had your heart speeding up.
“His engagement was announced last week. Didn’t you hear?”
Your heart plummeted to your stomach and the colour quickly drained from your face. “What!” Your voice was too loud, but you didn’t care. Cold fear washed over you, freezing the blood in your veins. This was why he had been avoiding you all day.
Thor’s huge hand came down hard on your knee as he let out another boom of laughter. “I am teasing, my friend!’
Instantly, your whole body relaxed. “You are an ass , Thor Odinson,” you grumbled, pushing his hand off your knee to make your point.
“You have my apologies,” he said kindly. “But, unless you both admit that you care for each other, one day I may not be teasing when I tell you that. You’ve loved each other for centuries. Aren’t you tired of pretending differently?”
You gave a small “tsk” in response. “I didn’t realise we had a new god of love? When did that happen?”
“You’d be wise not to let Freyja hear you say that, even in jest,” Thor replied seriously. “And do not try and deflect from the question.”
“I’m not deflecting, only remarking upon the man who once went through women as I go through new gowns now advising me on love.”
Instantly, you regretted your choice of words. “So it is love we’re talking about you’ll admit that?” Thor pressed, smiling at you again.
“It is not ,” you replied firmly, beginning to grow frustrated.
“Do not lie !” Thor said through another rich laugh. “I saw you both at the Ēostre Ball. You couldn’t stay away from each other for longer than five minutes.”
“Thor, it is a game ! Nothing more,” you said, a little more sharply than intended. “A way to make a festival or feast a little more exciting. You know how Loki loves chasing things that he can’t have. It’s only a game,” you repeated.
Beside you, Thor was silent, his gaze trained on a group of women gathered around a silk stall. For a moment, you thought he would let the conversation die, but luck had never been your friend. “From where I stand it looks like you are a great deal more to my brother than just another chase,” he said plainly.
Snapping open your fan, you ignored him, focusing on the cool air hitting your burning cheeks. It would be foolish, and not to mention dangerous, to let yourself believe there was any truth to Thor’s words. “Would you mind bringing me some mead?” you asked, bringing the conversation to an end. “It’s…it’s very hot.”
Thor considered you for the briefest of seconds, but you refused to turn to him, to give him any opportunity to mention Loki again. You had already said too much. “Of course, my lady.” He patted your knee affectionately. “I will be back.”
You watched him weave easily through the crowd of people, his blonde head towering above everyone else. When you were sure he was definitely out of earshot, you turned to Astrid who had been sitting quietly by your side, looking longingly at the food stalls.
“You don’t tell my parents about what I just discussed with Thor,” you told her firmly, perhaps a little too firmly when you watched her eyes widen and jaw go slack.
She nodded quickly. “Of course not, my lady!”
Reaching into the pockets of your gown, you pulled out a small handful of gold coins, pressing them into the girl’s hands. “Here, go and buy yourself something at one of the stalls. This is a day for you to enjoy as well,” you encouraged her kindly, needing to keep her on your side.
If it were possible, her eyes grew wider. “My lady! You are too kind! Thank you!” Her face was alight with joy as she made her curtsey and hurried off.
You could only hope that you had successfully bought her silence. Much like everyone else on Asgard, your parents had their own misguided opinions on Loki. They hadn’t expressly forbidden you from consorting with him, but your mother had warned you before your very first ball at the palace all those years ago that he was more trouble than he was worth.
“There is something not quite right about him. He schemes constantly, always hungering for something. You’d do well to focus your attention elsewhere, sweet,” she had said.
By “elsewhere” you knew she had meant Thor. A silent social climber, she had set her aspirations on her eldest daughter entrapping the Crown Prince and cementing her path to becoming the next Queen of Asgard. Her aspirations for you would never come to fruition, though. In spite of their distaste for him, or perhaps because of it, you had been drawn to Loki instead of Thor. It had been Loki who had led you in your first dance that night, who had taken you for air on the balcony when the Great Hall had become too stifling, and who had grinned wickedly at you when you refused to let him kiss you.
“That’s something you’ll have to work for, my prince,” you had teased him, voice sickly sweet as you had leaned out of his reach.
“Eventually, you will give in,” he had replied confidently and, kissing the back of your hand instead, had escorted you back to the festivities.
That night had been the beginning of your game. You knew he didn’t want you, not really, he only wanted the chase, spurred on by how you always left him dangling at the very last second. His past conquests had all given themselves easily without a fight. You, though, had resisted, had played his game. It was going to be the death of you.
“You’ll give yourself a hemorrhage if you keep thinking so hard,” his voice, smooth and rich as velvet, suddenly reached your ears.
He stood to your right, towering over you and mercifully blocking out the sun's intense rays. “Something you don’t have to live in fear of then,” you replied, the dark mood that had been threatening to engulf you vanishing instantly with his appearance.
Loki narrowed his eyes playfully at you. “My brother has deserted you?” He asked, turning his gaze in the direction that Thor had set off in.
“Only for a moment. He’s gone to get some mead.” You answered, nodding vaguely in the direction of the stalls.
“He’s been sidetracked then. I passed him talking with Fandral on the way over.” He turned back to you, extending his hand. “Please allow me to make up for my oaf of a brother’s unseemly lack of manners,” he said, his eyes sparkling.
You pretended to think for the briefest of moments. “I suppose Midsummer is the appropriate time to perform acts of charity,” you teased, easily accepting his hand.
“My thoughts exactly,” he said without skipping a beat.
You made a face in response, tucking your hand into the crook of his elbow and allowing your fingers the small pleasure of caressing his bicep through the rich material of his clothing. While holding Thor’s arm had done nothing to you, touching Loki felt electric, your fingers on his arm not being enough. You wanted to be swept up in him. You wanted him to overwhelm your every sense. You wanted him.
“That gown is enchanting, my dear,” Loki spoke softly, guiding you both in the direction of the multitude of different stalls that filled the courtyard.
Turning your head you found his gaze already on you, sweeping over you from head to toe. Vainly, you fought the heat that was beginning to rise to your cheeks. “It brings out my eyes, don’t you think?” You responded with an overenthusiastic flutter of your eyelashes.
Loki’s gaze dropped a fraction. “Amongst other things.”
Acting scandalised, you pretended to pull up the front of your gown. “Are you daring to insinuate something improper, my prince?”
Loki let out a snort of laughter, making you bite your cheek to stop from doing the same. “As though you of all people are concerned with appearing improper. Didn’t you once tell me that your first…ah… encounter happened between the Ancient Magic shelves in my mother’s library?”
Your jaw dropped at his audacity, a spluttered laugh quickly following suit. “And as though you of all people can make judgement when you were caught on two separate occasions in the stables with both the Ambassador’s daughters!’
“And weren’t you caught with one underneath the stairs in the upper courtyard during the Midwinter celebrations?” He shot back, quirking one perfect eyebrow at you.
For a second you were struck dumb, unaware that anyone, least of all Loki , had heard of that little rendezvous. “Well, at least I made sure she was comfortable and not taken like some breeding mare,” you replied haughtily. “Where have you taken your latest conquests? To the pigsty in the servants’ quarters?”
Rather than appear offended at your remarks, Loki only laughed, a deep warm sound that made your heart flutter. You wished you could always make him laugh so easily. “There haven’t been any,” he answered honestly, the barest hint of what you almost took as vulnerability glinting in his eyes.
You didn’t let it deter you, though, raising your free hand to soothingly rub his arm. “Poor thing. Have we been dealing with a little impotency lately?”
He didn’t falter. “Why don’t I take you behind one of these stalls and you can ascertain for yourself?”
You looked away, feigning interest in the passing flower displays so he wouldn’t see the smile you could no longer fight. How many times when you had been backed against a wall had you imagined it was his waist your leg was wrapped around rather than some random footman's? How many times when you were being bent over or turned around had you pictured his face as opposed to whoever was hiking your skirts up around your waist? Too many to count.
“That would be giving you what you want too easily, wouldn’t it?” you replied sweetly, gently squeezing his arm.
“Or perhaps it would be finally giving in to what you’ve wanted for so long,” he teased.
Laughter bubbled in your throat, making you throw your head back. “It’s good we’re outside, my prince. I fear the palace is becoming too small for your big head.”
“Eventually, you’ll give in,” Loki replied as he always did, but sounding a lot more confident than you would like.
You replied only with a breathy “mhmm,” humouring him while you stretched to inspect the collection of flowers displayed on the foreign plants stall, not missing the subtle clamping of his elbow to his side to prevent you from fully letting go.
With one hand you fingered the pale pink petals of one flower, sure you knew what it was, but not entirely certain. “Is this echinacea?” you asked the old lady behind the stall. She nodded her confirmation. “Can you make me a few pouches, please?”
“Are you feeling unwell?” Loki asked as the old lady bustled around preparing your pouches.
“No.” You answered, extracting your hand from his elbow to pull some more coins from your pocket. “My mother uses it in her healing remedies. It’s always beneficial to have too much than not enough.”
“Your mother knows healing magic?” he asked while you perused the other flowers on offer.
“She does. She’s been teaching me for a while. Nothing that can help with your big head, I’m afraid,” you added cheekily. Loki nudged you with his hip. “I don’t think there’s any other’s she’s in need of,” you muttered, more to yourself than Loki. “Chrysanthemum? No, she has that. Calendula? I don’t think so.”
You moved around the stall with Loki following closely behind. “Will you be attending the ball tonight?” He asked, reaching around you to inspect a vibrant blue plant.
“Of course. I have a long list of suitors to keep happy,” you replied, not giving him your attention.
You heard him sigh. “Must you always tease?”
“Must you always ask questions you already know the answer to?” You finally turned to him, bringing an orange flower to your nose.
His frown quickly became a smirk. “There’s no need to ask, then, if you’ll save your first dance for me. Adoring me as you do the answer is quite obviously yes.”
For a second you let your teasing subside, hearing in his voice the need to feel wanted no matter how hard he tried to disguise it. “You’ll always have my first dance, Loki. You know that.”
Satisfied, and with a faint pink blush colouring his cheeks, he turned back to the sea of colour of the flower stall. You followed suit, your eyes drawn suddenly to a flower that loomed larger than the rest and sat protected under a glass dome. It was vibrant red, the colour of spilled blood, and, unless your eyes were deceiving you, it was pulsing .
“I’ve definitely never seen this here before. It looks… menacing ,” you said, not sure if Loki was even still listening. Your natural curiosity won out, though, and you reached out to lift the glass dome carefully from over the flowers petals.
Almost instantly, you realised why it had been there. The second the red petals came into contact with the air, the stigma released a puff of red dust to your face. “Oh!” You closed your eyes on instinct. “That’s…potent.” The smell of the dust was overwhelming and like nothing you had ever come across before. It was sickly sweet, like the smell of some of your mother’s strongest remedies, and so overpowering it almost turned your stomach.
A fit of coughing overtook you as the dust assaulted the back of your nose and throat and your eyes quickly began to tear. Almost in tandem, a raging heat swept through you, hotter than even the hottest day on Asgard, and leaving your body tingling in its wake.
And just as quickly as it had come on, it left.
You felt Loki’s hand on your back and when you opened your eyes his face was hovering in front of you, concern etched in every line. “Are you alright?” he asked, his eyes scanning your face.
You could only nod silently, too enraptured by his face so close to yours. Had his skin always looked so soft? “So soft,” you murmured, half the words lost in your throat. You had been attracted to him for centuries, but only now were you noticing the small flecks of brown in his green eyes and the faint freckle on the tip of his nose. He wasn’t just attractive. He was beautiful.
A crease formed between his brow and his hands moved to clasp your shoulders. “Are you sure you’re alright? Do you need to sit down?”
With ease, you pushed his hands from your shoulders, a tingle of electricity coursing through you at the contact with his bare skin. “I’m fine . Relax, you won’t have to dance with any broomsticks in my place tonight.”
Loki rolled his eyes. “You’re fine.”
“I’m terribly sorry to disappoint you.” You replied, retrieving the small pouches the old lady handed you and storing them in your gown. The initial brain fog that had come with the flower's release of dust had somewhat abated, but you still felt a little…off, likely from the sickening smell it had spurted over you.
Taking Loki’s arm you rejoined the crowds milling around the courtyard, noticing just how firm the muscles in his arm were and picturing them rippling under your fingertips, how they would flex as he eased into you…
“Will we be in the Great Hall tonight?” you asked quickly. Of course you would be in the Great Hall, but something had to distract you from mentally undressing him. You had so far succeeded in suppressing your want for him, knowing it would only ever end in your broken heart, but today was putting all your resolve to the test.
“Must you ask questions you already know the answer to?” He threw your earlier comment back at you, turning to face you with a smug smirk.
Lightly, you nipped his arm. “I only want to prepare myself for when you inevitably corner me on the balcony like some deranged wolf stalking its prey.”
“Much like how you prowled the gardens earlier in search of me?” He shot back, leaning closer against you as you passed a gaggle of women, the action making a shiver course through you that he, thankfully, missed.
“I was not…” you began, but quickly gave up at being unable to think of a plausible lie, or at least, one that the god of lies wouldn’t be able to see right through. “You’re insufferable,” you huffed.
Loki leaned in closer to you, his forehead almost touching your temple. “Don’t fret, my dear. It will be our secret how much you burn for me,” he murmured in your ear, causing goosebumps to erupt on your skin.
You knew he was teasing, knew he viewed you as nothing more than a prize he would one day claim, but his words, coupled with his enticing proximity, had a faint stirring start between your legs. The resolve you had steadily built up over the many centuries was somehow falling apart brick by brick and you were heading down a dangerous road that would only end in anguish. If you gave in, if you allowed Loki to claim you as his prize, he would only toss you aside once he had his fill. He had been such a constant in your life, a source of so much genuine happiness, you weren’t ready to let that go.
Before you could offer any opposition, or even tease him again about his ever-growing ego, one of Frigga’s many messengers was striding towards you both. “Your Highness.” He bowed to Loki. “The Queen requires your presence in the upper courtyard.”
Loki glanced to you, as though seeking your permission to obey his mother’s summons. “I will find you later. Yes?”
“I’ll likely be with one of my many other suitors, but I’ll try to clear a space for you.” You said, giving him a teasing smile.
“I’m sure you’ll find some time for me.” He replied with a mischievous wink, taking your hand and pressing it to his lips. The faintest of whimpers spilled from you at the feel of his warm mouth on your skin, making a smile twitch on his face. “Enjoy the festivities, my dear.” He said mischievously, giving you a small bow.
You watched him disappear into the crowds after Frigga’s messenger, idly rubbing your fingers over the spot on your hand he had just kissed, and feeling a fire begin to flicker inside you.