No Man Is Complete

by sparrowshellcat

Summary:

Hindsight is 20-20. That's pretty much the only reason Darcy Lewis can give for why she and Coulson keep doing what they are not-supposed-to-be-doing.

Notes:

• For Epiphanyx7.

Avengers, naturally, belong to Marvel and not to me. I'm merely playing with them.

The title is from a quote by Sammy Davis Jr, "A man is not complete until he sees the baby he has made."

---

For more fic and art, you can follow me on Tumblr! sparrowshellcat

Chapter 1

Hindsight, Darcy Lewis had once been told, was twenty-twenty.

She thought that was pretty stupid, because her foresight wasn't even twenty-twenty, so why would her hindsight be better than her foresight. Jane, naturally, had tried to go on this long lecturing tirade about how it meant that things always looked better in retrospect, but Darcy wasn't stupid. She was actually quite bright, she'd been told. She knew that was what the stupid little adage meant, but she didn't see why everyone kept quoting it at people as though it was supposed to be the answer to all of her problems.

That is, she thought so, until a situation occurred in which “hindsight is twenty-twenty” actually made perfect sense.

Well. Sort of. Mostly.

Okay, the phrase still wasn't perfect, but it made more sense than she'd ever thought that it had, before, so that meant that she was at least making progress, she figured.

Actually, she was pretty sure, this whole situation was whole series of levels of old adages coming to life, and she wasn't sure that was a good thing.

They were back in their little home-turned-museum-turned-science lab again, and Darcy frowned as she poked about the little space, trying to figure out what was still missing, or if there was anything put in the wrong places. Technically, the SHIELD agents had been quite helpful in hauling everything back into their little headquarters, but she was convinced things were still going to be missing. After all, they had taken her iPod, and that had absolutely nothing to do with science or Jane's research. They'd also cleared out Jane's trailer, so she kept going back into her own bedroom, in their headquarters, and poked around to make sure that everything was still there.

Finally, Darcy paused in the middle of the main room, hands on her hips as she looked around. As far as she could tell, the place was put back together.

The town outside of their building, not so much, there were construction crews hard at work at picking up the pieces of what the Destroyer had, well, destroyed. She watched, through their remarkably unbroken windows for a long few moments, considering the way that several workers were scooping up pieces of what used to be walls, then shook her head, and went back to “work”.

At the moment, work mostly meant turning each of the computers back on, and checking to make sure that all the passwords were still intact, and that all of the information was still there.

Technically, the SHIELD agents that had hauled the equipment back in had said that they were returning everything, but she wouldn't put it past the government to keep some of it. After all, the relationship they were apparently supposed to be having with SHIELD was sort of tenuous and complicated.

“Damn,” Darcy said aloud, suddenly, when she was halfway through checking one of the computers. “...am I supposed to be going back to school, or do I actually work for SHIELD, now?”

“That, technically, is probably up to you.”

Darcy spun in her seat, overshooting the spin in her wheely chair, and had to put down her foot to swing back to face the door. Agent did he even have a first name Coulson was standing in the doorway, his hands draped casually behind his back, and he smiled blandly at her. “...eavesdropping. Not cool.”

“I apologize Miss Lewis,” he said, rocking slightly on the balls of his feet. “May I come in?”

She arched her brows, scoffing, and pushed her glasses further up her nose. “You're asking if you can come in this time? Last time, you just burst in without a warrant, and this time, you're asking ?”

“The situation has changed, somewhat.” Coulson said, mildly, and waited.

Darcy continued to watch him, for a long few moments, waiting for him to do something , then realized that he was, in fact, waiting for her to invite him in, and drew herself up a little, feeling sort of important. “All right, well... fine. Come in. But if you get all stealy again, I have every right to kick you right back out.”

“Duly noted,” he nodded, and stepped into the little computer lab they had set up.

She narrowed her eyes at him, watching the government agent for a long moment – and he really looked like a government agent, even if she hadn't known, seeing him on the street, she'd think he was a man in black or something – then finally huffed, and turned towards the computers. “Look, if you actually wanted to talk about something, then you should actually do that. Otherwise, I have some stuff to fix here, after you guys went and stole everything, so I have a whole lot of work to do.”

Coulson nodded, and stepped up behind her shoulder, silently.

Darcy frowned, and glanced up at him, considering the presence he had, which was surprisingly strong for a man that was just some government dude, and finally said. “Hello? Anybody home?”

He glanced down at her, and smiled again, that light little thing. “Everything looks like it is in place, for the most part.”

“It might be, but I have a whole lot of checking to make sure.” Darcy said, loftily, and pushed her glasses back up, again. She really needed to get a pair that stopped this slipping down thing. “I don't know how many magnets you guys stored beside these things.”

“That's mostly a misnomer,” he said, mildly. “You would need a very strong electro magnet in order to actually wipe these computer's memories.”

“Yeah, well, you're SHIELD, whatever that is, so maybe you've got that kind of technology.”

“Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division.”

“...huh?” She said, blinking up at him.

Coulson glanced back at her. “That's SHIELD. You said whatever SHIELD is, that is what SHIELD is. The Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.”

“...that is way too many words.” Darcy said, firmly.

“That is why we call it SHIELD.” Coulson nodded, calmly, though his attention was mostly on the computer on which she was working, rather than on her.

She finally pushed the keyboard back into its sliding tray under the desk it sat on, and spun her wheelie chair again so that she could look up at Coulson, crossing her arms over the chest of the ridiculously coloured poncho that she'd bought off of someone in one of those tourist trap sites on the side of the road her first time arriving in New Mexico. “Look, you've already copied all of this information, so why are you sitting here watching me work?”

“Mm?” He turned to face her properly, tilting his head slightly to the side in a way that reminded her of a bird, as though he was considering her. “I was ensuring that your computers were functional.”

“...by watching me work.”

Coulson seemed to mull over that for a moment, then dipped his head. “Yes.”

“That's creepy,” she informed him, and pushed her chair back, rolling across the floor to another one of the computer stations, flicking it on, and pushing around to another station to flick it on, as well. One by one, she rolled around the room, pushing from one station to another with her heels, and flicked each computer on, and finally rolled back to one of the first computers, fingers flying across the keyboard as she checked on the files.

“You're quite good with the computers,” Coulson said, finally.

Darcy glanced at him, considering the agent. He was still standing where he'd been when she had first rolled away from him, hands behind his back as he watched her, quietly. “Yeah, well... welcome to the internet generation. We're practically born with a keyboard attached to our fingertips.”

“That may be true, but you seem more than proficient.”

She considered that for a long moment, tilting her head to the side as she imitated his curious pose from earlier, then finally decided that it was a compliment, and nodded. “Yeah, so I’m told.”

“I have seen your records,” Coulson said, stepping closer to her, though he stayed a little further back this time, not quite infringing on her personal space like he had, last time. “You are a bright young woman, Darcy.”

“I'm not that young,” she rolled her eyes, still typing. “I'm twenty three.”

Coulson smiled, faintly. “Yes, that is true. Even so, you have quite bright. You test well in school, and your papers imply a mind that cuts through the surface to deeper meanings, easily.”

Darcy paused, fingers just resting on the keys, then she twisted to look back up at him again. “You read my school papers ?”

“I did,” he nodded, calmly.

“...that's even more creepy. Where the hell did you get my papers... you stole them from my room!” Darcy bolted up to her feet, alarmed, and pointed at the door of her little bedroom. “You stole my papers so that you could read them and creep on my brain?”

“We took all papers that we deemed possibly relevant to the possible security breach that was the incident in the desert.” Coulson said, and Darcy was swiftly realizing how very irritating his calm as anything demeanor was. It was like he knew exactly how to push her buttons. “And in this case, we deemed that they were possibly involved. As it is, the papers do not actually indicate a security breach, but instead seem to indicate the inner workings of your mind.”

Darcy narrowed her eyes at him. “I don't want you to understand the inner workings of my mind.”

“As you wish, Miss Lewis.”

“Darcy.” She said, immediately, then thought better of it. “No, wait, Miss Lewis. Call me Miss Lewis. You're a government agent man, you can call me that if you want to insist on hanging around and perving on my work.”

Coulson nodded, hands still looped behind his back. “In either case, you seem to be a bright woman, Miss Lewis. It seems strange that you would waste your talents with Political Science.”

She bristled, crossing her arms over her chest again. “I am not wasting anything! Political Science is a wholly appropriate major! I could go into politics or something with it, I could work in like... the news or something... there is nothing wrong with Political Science.”

“I apologize,” he dipped his head. “I did not mean it to sound as though I was insulting your work.”

Darcy frowned, then said, “Fine, but I’m going to remember that you said it.”

Coulson smirked faintly, which was one of the first indications she'd seem that government man here had a sense of humour. “In either case, what I am trying to say is that you seem far too bright of a woman to go into the news, and one with far too much integrity to go into politics. You seem, Miss Lewis, like a woman that could make changes in the world, if given a chance. A woman that would like to make changes, with the chance.”

“So what, I should come work for SHIELD?” She scoffed.

“It's a reasonable suggestion.”

Darcy blinked at him, stunned. “...you're serious.”

“I am.” Coulson nodded.

She scratched at the back of her head through her loosely crocheted hat, considering that for a long moment, then suddenly pointed at him to say, “But like, what kind of job for SHIELD, right? Cause I mean, I’m way too clumsy to be one of those black suited agents that you have running around spying on people, and I don't think I want to spend the rest of my life trapped behind a computer screen and getting pale and all Gollum-like in the basements of some SHIELD building cause you've got me hacking into people's computer systems and stuff. So I don't think SHIELD is really the kind of place I should be in.”

“The offer stands,” Coulson said, nodding slightly. “I believe, based on what I have seen of you, that you'd make a fine agent.”

“What you've seen of me, eh?” Darcy smirked, and held out her arms. “You like what you see, secret agent man?”

Coulson arched a brow. “Miss Lewis?”

She scoffed, and shook her head, crossing her arms back over her chest, again. “Besides, why the hell would I join SHIELD? You guys stole my iPod, and you still haven't even given that back.”

“Ah, yes!” He said, as though just remembering, and he reached into his jacket pocket, stepping closer to her as he did. Finally, he offered his hand, her iPod sitting neatly in his palm with the white headphones wrapped tightly around the iPod itself. “I believe this is yours.”

“Dude!” Darcy snatched it out of his hands, and turned it on, eyes lighting up. “You charged it!”

“Well, we did check it for any sign that information had been backed up onto it,” Coulson admitted, smiling faintly, definitely standing in her personal space again, as he watched her check it over. “All in order?”

“All in order,” she grinned, crookedly. “Awesome.”

Coulson laughed, softly. “It was rightfully yours, and if you are to be working with SHIELD...”

“I thought we talked about this,” she arched a brow as she looked up at him again. “I'd never be much of a field agent, and I’m against being a basement dweller.”

“There are other roles in SHIELD,” Coulson said.

“What, like what you do?” Darcy considered that, and set her iPod down on the desk so that she could look him up and down, hands on her hips. “I mean, aside from the expensive suits and taking things from people, what exactly do you do?”

“I'm a liaison.” He said, finally.

“Yeah, cause that sounds awesome.” Darcy scoffed. “What, I could be like, the liaison to Asgard, or something?”

“Not a bad suggestion,” Coulson dipped his head. “If we could find a way to resume contact and travel between our two realms, again. I feel that you would be a fine ambassador.”

“...now you're just trying to flatter me.”

“I am not trying to flatter,” Coulson insisted. “I am simply telling you what I have been lead to believe based on my observations.”

“And again with the observing,” Darcy grinned, and wiggled her eyebrows at him. “Liking what you're observing, Agent whatever your name is Coulson?”

“Phil.”

She grinned, and stood up, stepping right into his space, teasingly. “ Phil Coulson? Phil, the son of Coul. You must really want me, huh, if you're trying to seduce me into joining SHIELD.”

Coulson sighed slightly, and smiled at her. “Fraternization beyond professional boundaries is expressly forbidden between SHIELD agents, Miss Lewis.”

“Then I guess it's a good thing I’m not a SHIELD agent, huh?” Darcy said, then did something that later, she would look on with that whole twenty-twenty deal. She slid her arms around the agent's neck, and crushed her lips against his.

It was mostly supposed to be a joke. Hello , he was the straightest laced straight laced agent that could exist, far as she could tell. She mostly expected him to push her off, or step back, or do something to get her away from him. All Darcy was really hoping for was that he didn't, like... use his secret government agent clearance to shoot her for violating his personal space, or something.

What she didn't expect was for him to suddenly curl his arms around her lower back, and pull her closer.

Challenge accepted , she thought, and thrust her tongue into his mouth.

Phil Coulson tasted really good. Like, better even than that chef-in-training she'd dated a couple years ago, who always tasted like whatever he'd been working on that day. Coulson tasted like mint and coffee, which usually tasted sour and stale, but on him, it tasted rich and smooth and oh god she could keep on kissing him like this forever. Especially when that irritatingly calm, frustratingly sedate man seemed to come alive with her mouth of his, and he actually picked her up off of the ground, so that they were on a more even level.

Okay, yeah, this was the best joke she'd ever pulled, because shit , this was awesome.

Coulson sort of set her down on one of the desks, and Darcy swung her legs around his waist, pulling him closer as she buried her fingers in his hair. It wasn't really long enough for tugging on or pulling on properly, but it was still nice to bury her fingers in, and she cradled the back of his head as she kissed him furiously.

He suddenly broke the kiss, panting heavily as he looked at her, eyes bright, lips already swollen. “You're sure?”

“If you stop, I’m going to tase you,” Darcy panted, and chased after his lips again.

Apparently deciding that this was a good enough reason, Coulson crushed his lips back against hers, and slid his hands under that poncho, rucking it up to her shoulders.

Darcy laughed, and leaned back, tugging over her head, and tossed it vaguely away. It landed, by some strange miracle of accidental aim, on the back of her wheelie chair, and she grabbed his tie, tugging him closer again. “Mmm... secret agent man.”

Coulson actually laughed at that, and ducked his head, pressing his mouth to the hollow under her left ear, right where it met her jaw, and Darcy groaned as he nipped and kissed at the skin.

She arched, running her nails down the back of his sleek suit jacket, down his back, then slid her hands around to his stomach. Fumbling, as she could really see what she was doing, and was having to work with feel, Darcy finally found his belt, and unbuckled it with deft fingers, then unbuttoned the pants beneath, and unzipped him, grinning.

“Do you have...?” he asked, voice breathy and light against the lobe of her left ear.

“In my room,” she agreed, not really wanting to stop the current train of events, but Coulson had a point. She might have gotten caught up in something she hadn't actually planned, but that didn't mean she was stupid. “Unless you guys stole those, too.”

Coulson laughed again, and she decided she liked making him do that. It was a nice sound.

“Don't. Go. Anywhere.” Darcy said, firmly, pointing at him, then shimmied between him and the desk, sliding down to the floor, then darted to her bedroom, her knees more wobbly than she had expected. Most guys didn't make her weak at the knees, but most guys also weren't like, government agents that she'd somehow managed to seduce through sheer value of her being fucking awesome. Dashing into her bedroom, she grabbed the doorway to keep herself from overshooting her trajectory and crashing into her bed, or something, and dug in the top drawer of her bedside table. A moment later, she snatched one of the foil wrapped condoms, and went to dart back out to him, then hesitated.

Grinning, she tugged her t-shirt off over her head, knocking the crocheted cap she'd been wearing off, too, then headed back out into the main room in her bra, her skirt, and her boots. “Hey. Found one.”

Coulson looked up, clearing his throat. He had sort of managed to gather himself up a little, looking more in control of himself, but his belt was still undone, and his pants were still unbuttoned, though he'd apparently done the zipper itself back up. “Ah. So you did.”

Darcy licked her lips, liking the way those sharp, observant eyes flicked to her mouth, and stepped back up to his chest, standing on her toes. “So?”

“So... I suppose we ought to use it, then,” Coulson said, licking his own lips.

Catching the corner of the foil packet in her teeth, she tore it open, slowly, arching a single brow. “Well... it's been opened, now. It's like a law of nature. It has to be used.”

“Well, it would just be against the laws of nature not to, then,” Coulson said, calmly, and she liked the way he was playing along with this. Most guys she'd hooked up with before had sort of looked confused when she came up with stuff like that. This Coulson plucked the condom from her fingers, then swept one of his arms behind her, abruptly picking her right up off the floor with one arm, his forearm settled just under her ass, holding her up. Okay, her respect of SHIELD agents just went up about sixteen dozen notches, because any man that could look that surprisingly good in a suit and scoop a person up with one arm was pretty fucking awesome.

“Okay,” she informed him, grinning down at Coulson as she tangled her fingers in his hair again, looking down at him. “I like where this is going.”

“I thought you might,” Coulson pinned her against the wall outside of her bedroom, and Darcy happily wrapped her legs around his waist again, licking her lips. He helpfully pushed her skirt up around her waist, and considered her panties, as though not sure what to make of them.

Darcy wriggled against the wall, grinning, and said, “What, secret agent man doesn't have the resources to take care of a little ol' pair of panties?”

As though trying to say that her challenge was accepted, Coulson arched a single brow, then reached somewhere into his jacket. Her eyes followed his hand, and her eyes widened slightly. She hadn't even realized, when she'd been thinking her flippant thoughts, earlier, but the man actually did have a gun holster attached to his hip, hooked on the top of his pants, and she licked her lips, considering that. It was kind of sexy , actually, that he had a gun. Well, as long as he didn't like, use it on her. Still. From beside the gun, he tugged out a silver object that had her confused for a moment, until he flicked his wrist, and a blade flicked up out of the handle itself.

“Oh,” she breathed. “...that's kinky.”

Coulson smirked at her, and the cool metal of the back of the blade kissed her skin for a moment, then the blade cut through the fabric like it was paper, and he calmly flicked the other side of them, as well, and she was able to wriggle out of the remains of her undergarments. “Suitable?” He asked.

“Sexy,” Darcy grinned, and abruptly crushed her lips to his, again, her hips wriggling.

The SHIELD agent returned the furious kiss with as much fervour as she was giving, as though he was consuming her, and she arched into his chest as they kissed, the back of her head pressing against the wall as he pinned her.

And then Coulson pressed upwards, and into her, and Darcy's head fell back, her fingernails digging into the back of his scalp as she tightened her grip on his waist with her legs. She bit her lip, hard, trying not to howl, because as much as she wanted to – holy shit , she wanted to howl like a wolf to the sky – she figured it probably wouldn't be good if her howling brought Jane running from her trailer.

He peppered surprisingly gentle kisses along her throat and jaw, as though trying to soothe her, and Darcy pressed her heels into his lower back. “Fuck, Coulson , move !”

Coulson did, and she had to bite down even harder on her lip to keep from howling.

Darcy liked to consider herself an open minded person. She liked to think that she was progressive, that she was part of a new, modern way of thinking that encompassed everything from political thought to religion to sexuality. So she figured she was in control of her own body, which meant that slut-shaming was a thing of the past – or enough of the past for her – and so she was quite familiar with sex and how her own body interacted with it. She wasn't actually thinking through this at that moment, this is an example of that twenty-twenty, but this moment was actually important.

Because it was this reality that made sex with Coulson even better .

Because she did know what she was doing, she knew what sex was, and how much she liked it. And Agent Phil Coulson was, apparently, a better lover than any of those she'd had before.

Darcy arched against the wall, biting her lip so hard she swore she could taste blood as Coulson set about making her fall apart at the seams, apparently. She had figured, from what little observation she had had of him, that he was a thorough, collected man that sort of hated to leave anything unfinished or in any way undone, but she had thought that would mean he'd be terribly logical and calm and have a system for sex. She hadn't thought that it meant that he would be terribly talented at it, as though he knew exactly how to roll his hips, exactly where to rub, exactly where to bite, to ratchet her desire from sixty to a few million units of... whatever you measure desire with. She didn't know, and at that moment, she didn't care.

Coulson abruptly crushed his lips to hers again, and she was pretty sure he knew his timing as well as his dick seemed to, because seconds after he had kissed her, she came so hard she was actually sure she'd gone blind, and only his tongue in her mouth kept her from howling.

She came back down to reality, slowly. Her head was back against the wall, and she was staring up at the ceiling, which was very slowly reforming itself in her vision. Darcy had sort of thought the world had gone white. He was still holding her against the wall, pinning her there, and from the harsh panting that she could hear pretty much right beside her head, she was pretty sure that he'd enjoyed it about as much as she had.

“Coulson?” Darcy panted, finally.

“Yes,” he slowly lifted his head, from where he had leaned it on the wall beside her head, and he smiled slightly at her.

Darcy grinned, licking her lips, and pressed her lips against his again, softly, all the fury and passion and heat stripped out of the moment, leaving them panting and sweaty and somehow far more vulnerable than they had been, before. Finally, the need to breathe insisted itself upon her, and she leaned back again, closing her eyes. “ Damn .”

“Mmm. Yes.” Coulson very gently unlooped her legs from around his waist, and set her back down on the ground, lightly, smoothing her skirt back down into it's proper place.

“Hoo.” Darcy was usually more verbose than this, she usually had a thing to say about every situation, usually had something to come up with. But at this particular moment, she just couldn't seem to make her mouth form any of those usual defenses, so she settled for running her hands through her hair, shaking it out, and wobbling slightly unsteadily back to her chair. She tugged her poncho on, because now that the heat of the moment was over, the sweat on her mostly-bare torso was cooling, so this was mostly a preventative measure against shivering. Licking her lips, Darcy watched Coulson straighten himself back up, flushed as he dropped the used condom in the garbage, then tucked himself back in his pants and straightened his tie. “Your hair is a mess,” she said, finally, relieved to have figured out how to use words again.

Coulson hesitated, and smoothed his hand over his hair, trying to make it lie flat, and she was impressed with how very quickly he was able to look normal.

“I did not actually see that happening,” she admitted, slumping to sit in her chair, pushing herself with her toes, so that she rocked back and forth.

“Neither did I,” he admitted, fixing his tie again, frowning faintly.

Darcy grinned, still watching him. “...that was probably the most awesome unexpected thing I’ve ever done, though, and I’ve met gods and tasered one of them.”

Coulson smiled at her, again, sideways.

“So, is that how you recruit most people to SHIELD?”

“No,” he said, and squared his shoulders, checking the way that his gun rested on his hip, then closed his suit jacket, and buttoned it back. “Now, as enjoyable as that was, Miss Lewis, and it certainly was, you do understand that this cannot happen again.”

“Fraternization?” She guessed.

“Well, even if you never do end of working for SHIELD, there is the issue in which you are a member of what is technically remaining an ongoing investigation, and as such, it would certainly be frowned upon for me to be, ah... fraternizing with you.” Coulson fixed his tie again, but smiled at her. “We could remain professional, could we not?”

After having experienced what may be the best sex of my life? Not happily .

“Yeah, we could be professional,” she drawled, scratching her jaw, then pushed her glasses back up again.

“Well then.” Coulson smoothed his palms down the front of his suit jacket, then nodded at her. “Until we meet again, Miss Lewis?”

“Hey, you fucked me, may as well call me Darcy.” She shrugged.

He cleared his throat, then nodded. “Very well, Darcy.”

Coulson headed towards the door, then Darcy thought of something, and darted up to follow him, leaning out the front door as he headed to his car, opening the driver's side door. “Hey, Agent Coulson... I just thought of something. Aren't you gonna debrief me?”

The agent hesitated, then looked up at her with a slight, almost smug smile, and said, “I believe I already have,” before he slid into the front seat of the car, pulling the door shut behind him, and the engine roared to life.

She blinked after him, then she got, exactly, what he meant, and she barked with laughter, pleased.

---

“...Thor's not here, either, Jane.”

Jane huffed, still leaning out of the window in the roof, Dr. Selvig leaning beside her. Jane was bound and determined to find her boyfriend again, which Darcy could totally understand, but she ended up driving this crappy little van wherever it was that Jane figured they'd find Thor, and she was starting to get tired of it. Sure, this was better than any other job she had done before, but she had actually withdrawn from school, permanently, to help with this project now, and if she was going to be failing her education, maybe she should actually be getting something out of it.

Other than being cold and tired.

Darcy sighed, and crossed her arms over the top of the steering wheel, and pressed her forehead against her arms, closing her eyes. It was cold, she was tired, and the only thing she had to look forward to, tomorrow, was more of the same. Numbers and stars and driving out into the desert to try and find Thor.

“I thought you said that the SHIELD satellites showed movement in this quadrant!” Jane called back into the van, and Darcy lifted her head.

“They do, I looked over them about a million times, there is something going on out here. And I told you, it looked unusual. I didn't promise that it meant that Thor was gonna show up, I just said that it looked unusual. For all I know, it could be the Hulk running around playing baseball with cars, or something.” Darcy rolled her eyes. “Relax.”

“...well, I’m not seeing anything unusual,” Jane said, at last, and lifted her binoculars again.

Darcy mimed her, then slumped down in her seat, sinking down until she could barely see over the dashboard.

Fiddling with the buttons on the front of her jacket, she stared off into the vastness of space, the sky lit up like a million tiny LED lights, light pollution practically non-existent out here in the desert. It was beautiful, even without the aurora that usually indicated that the bifrost was about to open, all bright and beautiful. She understood why exactly Jane had become so addicted with space, and why she'd gone into Astrophysics, but Darcy couldn't imagine managing to actually spending your life working on this.

Eyes drifting over the stars, Dracy abruptly narrowed her eyes, and sat up a little, peering at the sky.

Something looked unusual. Something looked very unusual.

“...Jane?”

“What is it, Darcy?” The other woman called, sounding frustrated.

“...turn around.”

She heard some muted conversation going on between Jane and Dr. Selvig, above, and Darcy slapped her palm against the steering wheel, calling, again, “ Turn around !”

She could hear them moving, but her eyes were on the sky, and what was happening. It wasn't the same aurora that there was, last time, but there was certainly something unusual happening. It had started when a long strip of the stars seemed to suddenly be blacked out, then the space around that line seemed to get wider and wider. It wasn't like something was growing over the sky, to block it out, not really, it was more like a mouth had opened in the sky, because as it opened, the stars above and below the black maw were squished closer together. It made her think, actually, that someone had managed to find a little rip in the night sky itself, then had forced their hands inside, and were prying the sky open, ripping the whole universe apart, revealing an empty blackness behind the stars.

“What is that?!” Jane cried, startled.

“...I was hoping you would know,” Darcy said, eyes wide.

“That is not a Rosenchild-Einstein bridge,” Dr. Selvig said, and he was surprised that the man sounded absolutely stunned. She had sort of expected him to understand what was going on. Wasn't he supposed to be stupidly smart, and everything?

Darcy shoved her car door open, and slid out of her seat, tossing her seat belt back.

“What are you doing?!” Jane yelped.

“I want to know what's going on!” She called, checking her pocket for her taser, pleased to find it there, and curled her fingers around the handle, comfortingly.

“You can find out what's going on from inside the van!” Dr. Selvig called, alarmed.

“Yeah, maybe, only if we're finding another god, I get first dibs this time, got it?” Darcy called, and darted forward, tugging the taser out of her pocket, holding onto it. It gave her a solid, comforting presence. Sure, Darcy was sure that there was a possibility that this rip in the sky, whatever the hell it was, could be hundreds of thousands of miles away. It may not have even had anything to do with Earth. But she also knew that the SHIELD satellites had shown this activity coming here, and that those that had contact with this shit sort of seemed to run into it over and over again.

They were trouble magnets, or something.

Sure enough, that inky blackness seemed to grow and grow and grow, then abruptly shrink, and a flare of black smoke burst on the dusty ground in front of them.

“Darcy Lewis, get back in the fucking van!” Jane howled behind her, and she seriously considered doing exactly that.

She swallowed, though, and instead stepped a little closer to the black smoke, which slowly faded, revealing two people standing there. There was a man, alarmingly tall and startlingly broad, carrying an ax that actually looked like it was bigger than she was. In front of him stood a woman, sharp featured and beautiful, with long blonde hair that hung in ridiculous curls that must be heavy as anything down to her waist. The woman lifted her jaw, then spotted Darcy, and smirked. Darcy didn't like the look of that smirk. It was an I am going to eat you up, little girl sort of smirk.

“Well, Midgardians,” the woman said.

And that statement actually told Darcy more than she had thought it would. The blonde had just managed to tell her that she was not from Earth, that she was involved with all the gods and all this stuff, and that, most likely, considering she hadn't arrived via the bifrost, her intentions weren't actually all that awesome.

Shit .

Still, Darcy lifted her taser, refusing to be afraid, and aimed it vaguely at their feet. “Yeah,” she called. “Midgardians. And we aren't afraid of you, and we don't want to worship you as gods. So scram, before we call Thor to come kick your ass.”

The woman laughed.

That wasn't actually how she was supposed to react.

“Thor is trapped on Asgard, you foolish little girl,” she laughed, looking confident and in control, smirking. “After the destruction of the bifrost. So he's not coming to save you, this time.”

“...right. I’m going to go back in the van, now,” Darcy started backing up, then abruptly spun, and started running, only to stop short. The blonde wasn't standing behind her anymore, she was standing right in front of her, grinning, and Darcy stumbled back a few steps. “Holy shit, apparently you're magic. That... was not what I expected.”

The blonde stepped closer to her, licking her lips, and said, “I am going to have fun breaking you.”

Darcy's eyes widened, and she stumbled back again.

“Darcy!” She heard Jane holler from the van, and Dr. Selvig was yelling something that she couldn't quite make out, maybe that they were coming to get her, or that she could just run, or whatever it was that he was suggesting, and all Darcy could think was that they were both really, really stupid for drawing attention to themselves when they totally could have gotten away scot-free and just left Darcy there to take care of herself.

But Jane's hollering did seem to distract the blonde a little, and Darcy gripped the handle of her taser gun tightly, and fired.

The woman let out a howl of pain and surprise, and Darcy was displeased to discover that she didn't just pitch backwards and collapse unconscious the way that Thor had when she'd hit him. Dammit. All the same, the woman did stumble back and away from her, bent double as she tried to rip the electrodes out of her stomach.

Darcy tugged on her taser, which jerked the silver filament out of the gun itself, and she broke into a run. She had no time to shove another cartridge into the stun gun, not yet, and she didn't really want to know if that big guy with the ax could do magic, too.

She ran, fast as she could, and grabbed the driver's side door.

Only Jane was in the driver's seat, and she waved to the back, and Darcy scrambled to head for the back door, jerking on the door, and nearly crying in frustration as she bellowed, “ It's locked !”

“I am going to destroy you!” The blonde woman called, angrily. It was as though she had only been caught off guard because she'd expected these pathetic Midgardians to just cave and fall over in front of them, helpless, and now that she'd discovered that people like Darcy had a spine, she was going to take out all of those misguided ideas on Darcy. “You are going to - “

Light abruptly flared out over the little dip that they were still standing in, and Darcy threw her hand up, shielding her eyes.

The blonde woman, and her massive companion – who had actually been running up behind her – both threw up their hands, as well, shielding themselves from the light, which was shockingly bright. Darcy hadn't even heard the helicopter blades themselves, at first, but now that she was peering up between her fingers at the sky, she realized that it wasn't some pissed off god, it was helicopters with high powered lights aimed at them.

“Oh god, please say that's SHEILD...” Darcy gasped.

A moment later, a voice – a very familiar voice, actually – called, “Identify yourself and your purpose!”

“I'm just hiding, Coulson!” Darcy bellowed at the helicopter.

There was a moment of silence, and she swore she could like, sense him drawing in a deep, steadying breath, before he said, “Not you, Darcy. Unidentified intruders! Identify yourself and your purpose!”

“...I knew that.” Darcy said, pouting slightly. “...I was trying to be funny.”

The blonde woman, who still looked absolutely furious, curled her fingers over the shoulders of her ax-wielding companion, then that same black smoke as before curled around her, and they abruptly disappeared.

“Holy shit!” Jane howled, from inside the van.

“Oh, thank god,” Darcy groaned, and bent double, resting her hands on her knees as she panted, just trying to breathe. She hadn't actually realized how terrified she was until the threat was gone, and the moment was over. “...I think I’m going to be sick.”

“Are you all right?!” Jane was grabbing her arm, and Darcy straightened, blinking up at her boss. “Darcy, are you okay?!”

“Yeah,” she said, taking a deep breath, and straightened up, adjusting her hat so that it sat better on her head. “Yeah, I’m fine, I just, you know... need some more air. Helicopters make everything dusty as all hell.”

Jane laughed, breathlessly, and pressed her forehead to Darcy's shoulder.

“Yeah,” she said, patting her shoulder, lightly. “It's gonna be okay.”

Dr. Selvig was suddenly there, sweeping his arms around the pair of them, and she squeaked as she realized that her face was being crunched into his shoulder. “Stop running off like that, you are going to get yourself hurt!”

“...I learned my lesson?” Darcy ventured.

“Good,” he said, fiercely.

“...can you let me go, now? I’m getting sort of squished, here.”

Dr. Selvig stepped back, quickly, clearing his throat, and looking slightly out of place. He nodded, quickly, patting his pockets, as though trying to steady himself. “Well, stop running into battle.”

“Is everyone safe, here?” Coulson said, calmly.

“Agent Coulson...” Jane stepped forward, frowning slightly. “How did you know we were here?”

“There was indications, on the SHIELD satellites, that there was going to be activity in this location tonight. As we have gotten used to your activities, we expected that you were going to be here. We simply thought that it would be prudent to investigate,” Coulson nodded, calmly. “Miss Lewis, are you all right?”

“Hm?” She looked up, scratching at the back of her neck and trying not to look like she was imagining grabbing his tie and hauling him closer to see if he still tasted like coffee and mint. “Oh yeah, I’m fine.”

He arched a brow, as though he knew exactly what was going through her mind.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she said again, clearing her throat. “I'm awesome. I mean, I had my handy dandy taser... this thing has more than paid for itself.”

Coulson actually smirked at that one.

“You are so reckless!” Jane said, slapping her shoulder, displeased. “You were supposed to get back in the car and be safe! What were you thinking, running out there into something you didn't know about?!”

“Says the woman who hit a god with her car. Twice.” Darcy said, rolling her eyes.

“Is this true, Miss Lewis?” Coulson said.

“Darcy, and yeah. She did hit him with the van! Twice!”

He took a deep breath, and said, “I was referring to whether or not you had run into danger, with those individuals.”

“Oh. Yeah. Well, technically. I didn't know it was going to be dangerous,” she rolled her eyes, and held up her stun gun. “And I had this, anyway. Which totally saved my ass, by the way. I shot the blondie with it, and it worked, at least enough to distract her. I’m thinking I need to get a more powerful version of this thing, or something. So I can hit them even harder.”

Jane slapped her shoulder again.

“Also, stop hitting me,” Darcy informed her boss, finally. “I mean, seriously. Stop hitting me. Hitting is not nice.”

“We could see to arranging that you are issued a SHIELD taser,” Coulson said, after a moment.

Darcy spun to face him properly. “ Seriously ?”

He shrugged. “Technically, you work for SHIELD now. You already have the SHIELD satellite access codes, I cannot imagine that you could do more danger with a taser than you could with those.”

She grinned, delighted. “...and this is maybe enough to actually convince me to work with SHIELD. Heh, that is awesome .”

Jane groaned. “That is a terrible idea.”

“It is an awesome idea, bite your tongue,” Darcy pointed at her, then grinned at Coulson. “So how do I get one of these tasers?”

“We requisition you one,” he stepped back, and held out a hand, as though trying to usher her somewhere. “I think it's important that we debrief on this incident, so if you will, Miss – Darcy.”

She arched a brow, looking him up and down. “Right here?”

He gave her a dull look.

Feeling rather pleased with herself, because of course no one else knew what she meant by debrief, she grinned and followed him. There had been more than just that one helicopter, which had been what she had thought it was. Apparently there were a few helicopters, and one massive vehicle that she had only ever seen on internet userboards for conspiracy theories, that sort of hovered over the whole location, upon which they were already building little white buildings that were really more like tents. It was like they were building a tent city around the place where the two strangers had landed. “Is that the helicarrier?” She asked, pointing upwards.

“Yes, it is,” he agreed, leading her towards one of the small square white “tents” that had popped up.

“Hm.” She considered that, actually walking backwards as she looked up at the helicarrier, curiously, tracking its very slow movement.

Coulson abruptly caught her arm, and she looked back at him, startled.

“Thought you said we weren't doing this again.”

He gave her another of those dry looks. “We're not. You almost tripped over a rock.”

She looked down at her feet, and was pretty sure that the nearest rock wasn't even close enough that it could have tripped her, so she was pretty damn sure he was either exaggerating, or it was a convenient excuse. She was sort of willing to let him use either of those reasons. “So how come there's a whole tent city going up, anyway?”

“Since the bifrost was destroyed, we had believed that there was no way for beings from other worlds to come to Earth.” Coulson frowned slightly. “That may have been slightly optimistic, to actually believe that. However, that was the indication we had been given, so we were willing to trust our information. With the arrival of that woman and her companion, we believe that this means that other people could also potentially come here. We hope to use information gathered here to be able to create a tool that would allow us to detect their arrival before they get here.”

“Huh.” Darcy considered that, scratching her jaw, noting that Coulson definitely still had her arm in his hand at the moment. “Interesting.”

“You don't think it's possible?”

“I totally think it's possible.” Darcy nodded, following him towards the little tent that was set aside from the others. “So... debriefing, eh?”

“Yes, after an incident such as this, and your involvement with these strangers, then yes, I feel that a debrief is absolutely essential.” Coulson nodded, then headed up the steps into the little tent, opening the glass door for her, holding it open. Darcy stepped in behind him, looking around curiously. The walls were the white tent, and if she moved, she was pretty sure she could be seen, behind the almost translucent walls. She tapped the glass wall that stood halfway through the otherwise empty room, and glanced at Coulson.

“What is this?”

“An interrogation room,” Coulson glanced at the glass wall. “Two way glass. The inside is mirrors, the outside is glass, you can look in.”

“Kinky,” she grinned at him, and opened the little glass door, peering inside. The walls of the room behind the door were all the same glass, too, so that the entire room was mirrors, even the ceiling. “...you are aware of how kinky this room could be, right?”

“We said we weren't doing this again.”

“Actually, you said we weren't doing this again,” Darcy pointed out, grinning. “I just didn't argue.”

Coulson took a deep breath, then nodded towards the door. “We might as well sit down, otherwise we're going to find ourselves getting sore, standing.”

“I can think of much more entertaining ways of getting all sore,” she grinned, and headed into the room, and cheekily placed her hands on the edge of the table that was sitting in the middle of the room, and sat on the table itself, kicking her feet in the air, humming. “Well? Aren't you coming to debrief me?”

He arched a brow, and closed the door behind him, leaving them in the mirrored room.

Darcy grinned. “All right, fine, I’ll be more serious if you want. Honest. Scout's honour, or whatever. I wasn't in the scouts, so I don't even know what scout's honour is supposed to mean.”

“It refers to the American Boy Scouts mottos of loyalty and honesty, so if a Scout gave their word of honour, it meant that it was a promise that they would keep.” Coulson hesitated, then stepped up close to her knees, setting the clipboard down on the table, beside her, standing far closer than was actually necessary, considering the circumstances. “I was a Boy Scout.”

“Somehow,” she drawled, “I'm not surprised.”

And then she snagged his tie, and tugged him closer, and decided to test her hypothesis of earlier, kissing him furiously.

He still tasted of mint and coffee.

And Darcy wasn't actually surprised when he pushed her back onto the table, pinning her to the table surface as he kissed her furiously, as though trying to devour her. For her part, Darcy was more than happy to arch up under him, fingers still tight on his tie as she kissed him, desperately.

It was when she was shimmying her jeans down her hips, trying to get them off, that she panted, “If anyone comes in they're gonna be able to see us...”

“The SHIELD agents know not to interrupt me during a debriefing,” Coulson said, biting at the top of her left breast, and she bucked under him, distracted again.

“This how you always debrief people?” She groaned, licking her lips.

“I don't usually get to debrief,” he said, honestly, and kissed and nipped his way down her stomach. “And no, it isn't.”

“Good,” she laughed, and buried her fingers in his hair, arching under him when he started putting that usually so calm and sedate mouth to work on making her absolutely fall apart. It seemed that his tongue was about as equally talented as his dick, because she was shoving her knuckles into her mouth to keep from crying out.

Abruptly, he lifted his head, and panted, slightly, “You do know this room is soundproof, don't you?”

“...if this is debriefing, I want it whenever possible,” Darcy groaned, arching up under him, and howled her joy to the ceiling of the little tent.

Coulson laughed, which actually felt fucking amazing , and she wriggled.

It was about a half hour later that she reluctantly pulled her jeans back on and pointed out that, for people who weren't going to do this again, they were sort of doing this again.

“Yes, well...” Coulson had to undo his tie to get it tied back up, and looked like he was seriously considering that. “Apparently we can make the same mistake twice.”

“I dunno, for a mistake, that was kind of an epic mistake.” Darcy shrugged.

Coulson smirked slightly, considering that. “Technically true.”

“So was that the debrief?” She grinned.

“That was... no, that was not a debrief, but that's going to have to do, or someone is going to come asking awkward questions,” he said, finally, grinning at her. “So we'll have to say that it was.”

“If I ever get involved in SHIELD incidents again, let's go with you get to debrief me, right? Cause I dunno about the rest of your agents, but I sort of suspect you're the sexiest.”

Coulson snorted.

“I mean it,” she grinned, snickering. “Okay, I mostly mean it, that one guy with the blond hair and the bow? Damn. But yeah, I’ll let you debrief me, you're kind of awesome.” Darcy caught his tie again, smiling as she tugged him closer, kissing him slowly, almost teasingly, having absolutely no problem with the fact that he tasted like coffee, mint, and herself. “And you're really fucking good at that.”

“Mmm.” He sighed, slightly, then opened the door out of the little mirrored room, letting her follow him out. “Thank you.”

“So when do I get this taser?” She asked, eagerly.

Coulson laughed, again, and she was reminded of how very much she enjoyed that sound. He sounded so much more human when he laughed. She liked it. “When I requisition it. That reminds me... when are you going to finish your degree?”

Darcy was in the midst of buttoning up her jacket when he asked that, and looked up at him, surprised. “...I thought you said I should be doing something more useful. Like... spy training, or something.”

“Yes, well. I do. I simply think that you would be better suited to doing so if you had finished your degree.”

She rolled her eyes, and shook her head. “Maybe I’ll think about correspondence, or something. So is this another 'we are not going to do this again', thing, or...?”

“We're going to have to remain more professional,” Coulson confirmed.

“Professional is no fun,” she said, but she resisted the urge to grab that tie again when she slipped out of the tent room, heading back towards the van.

---

“Darcy, you have mail.”

Groaning, Darcy lifted the pillow that was over her head, and called, blearily, “It's Friday, Jane. You said it was my day off today. Why are you waking me to tell me that I have mail ?”

“Because it's a big package, and they want you to sign for it!”

She snickered, slightly, and finally dragged herself out of bed, grabbing her glasses before she stumbled out of her room in a hoodie and a pair of slouchy flannel pajama pants, muttering about big packages. Scratching the back of her head, she blinked when she realized that it wasn't just some guy in a postal service uniform, or UPS or whoever, like it had always been every other time she'd gotten a package, and was instead a man in a black suit, wearing a black pair of sunglasses. “Darcy Lewis?” The man said, sternly.

“Um. Yeah. That's me.” She frowned slightly, warily. “Why? Am I under arrest or something?”

“No, I have a package for you, that I need you to acknowledge receipt for.” He tapped a box that was sitting on the table. It was maybe a foot and a half square, and about six inches tall.

“Hm.” Darcy frowned, and stepped closer, holding out her hand. “Okay, where do I sign?”

He held out a Stark tablet. “Thumb on the square.”

“...I'm signing for it with my thumbprint?” Darcy asked, dubiously, but pressed her thumb to the little square, and sure enough, a moment later, her name appeared on the screen, along with a small picture of her glowering at the camera, which looked a lot like her student ID photo, actually. “...why does the government have my ID and thumbprint?”

“The government doesn't, Miss Lewis, SHIELD does,” he said, calmly, then tapped the top of the box. “Enjoy.”

As he left, Darcy frowned as she settled at the table, frowning as she considered the box. “...so SHIELD is sending me boxes? This seems... sort of weird.”

“Yeah, it does seem sort of unusual,” Jane settled at the table, frowning slightly. “Yeah, that's really weird. So what is it?”

“I'm trying to find that out, genius.” Darcy rolled her eyes, and grabbed for one of the butter knives that she hadn't actually managed to clear off the kitchen table yet from dinner last night, and used it to cut the box open. She finally got the tape opened, and flipped the tops of the box open, peering inside. “Huh. What's this...?”

Unfolding the piece of paper that had been on top, she blinked at the letter head. “...I'm getting letters and packages from SHIELD ?”

“Well, we do technically work for them.” Jane said, sitting across from her.

“True.” She agreed, frowning as she read the page. “...oh god.”

“What is it?”

Darcy laughed, delighted, and dug through the styrofoam peanuts, eagerly, before holding aloft her new taser. “Ha! I have a SHIELD taser!”

“Oh god,” Jane groaned, heavily, slumping forward slightly.

She cackled, delighted, and wriggled as she checked it out for a few long moments, then dug back in the box again, laughing even more when she found the refill cartridges, and the instruction manual, which she was already promising to read cover to cover. But then she found the papers at the bottom of the box, and she hesitated, frowning slightly as she read over them. “...huh.”

“What is it?” Jane asked.

“...Coulson got me registered in school again.” She said, surprised. “To finish my degree by correspondence.”

Jane blinked, surprised by that, and leaned forward to consider the stack of papers. “...why would Agent Coulson care about whether or not you'd go to school? I mean, yeah, we're sort of working for them, but seriously, that seems a bit too interested for a government agent to get.”

“Eh, I mentioned something about it during my debrief,” Darcy said, passing that off, easily. It worried her, sometimes, how very good she was getting at lying about things. Okay, she'd always sort of been really good at lying, actually. This wasn't new. But it might be a little weird about how she was actually applying said lying skills, these days. “I just didn't exactly expect him to register me in school. I thought it was past the deadline for that...” She trailed off.

“Well, it'll be good for you,” Jane said, abruptly, standing up. “Really.”

“...you think so?” Darcy asked, surprised.

“Yeah, I do.” Jane nodded. “After all, I’m a doctor, I’d be a bit of a liar if I didn't say that I think education is an important thing to have.”

“Hm. Yeah, good point.” She set the papers down, then, and picked up the stun gun. “God, this is downright gorgeous, I am taking this thing back to bed with me.”

“Too much information,” Jane called, sing song, as she headed towards the lab.

---

It turned out that the blond that had threatened Darcy at the landing site was called the Sorceress, that she worked for Loki, and that she held grudges for a long time.

And had a habit of taking revenge.

They had been at another possible landing site, hoping desperately that it was finally going to be Thor that would be tumbling down to the surface of Midgard. Darcy was sitting on the roof of the van as she looked out over the desert, trying to be helpful with the binoculars, but she wasn't really very successful. Jane was scribbling notes in her notebook, like she usually was, frowning intensely.

“Any sign of anything?” Darcy called, finally, lowering the binoculars.

“No... I’m not seeing anything.” Jane admitted.

“Well. This time this is your fault, not mine, you found the pattern on the satellites this time, not me!” Darcy called, teasingly, then hesitated, and lifted the binoculars quickly, staring at the stars.

“...do you see something?” Jane twisted slightly, shifting up onto her knees as she looked up at him. “Darcy? You've been pretty good at spotting this stuff... do you see anything?”

“I'm not sure,” she admitted, considering the sky, tracking the movement of a bright green light that streaked across the stars.

“What is it?” Jane said, again.

“Oh my god, get back in the van!” She gasped, dropping the binoculars and sliding forward down the windshield, then scrambled off of the hood of the van. “Get in the van, Jane, in the van, in the van, in the van!”

Jane did as ordered, scrambling into the driver's seat.

Darcy scrambled to get in the front passenger seat, but before she could, something swiftly moving struck her hard around the middle of her waist, throwing her back across the desert, slamming her hard down into the dusty stone ground, and she sucked in a sharp breath, desperately. The weirdest thing was, now that she was down on the ground, she couldn't figure out what in the world had actually hit her. There was nothing there .

But when she rolled over onto her knees and tried to stand up, another invisible something slammed into her side, and she cried out in shock and pain as she was thrown again, slamming to the stones.

“Darcy!” Jane howled.

“Shit, where's Thor when you need him...” she groaned, and scrambled up onto her feet, only to be slammed from behind, this time, and land hard on her hands and knees. “Fuck!”

“Darcy, what's going on?!” Her boss called from the van, desperately.

“I don't know,” she groaned, not really sure how exactly she was supposed to respond to this, because she was being thrown around by something invisible, what was she supposed to do, howl to Jane and hope to all hell that someone knew what she was trying to say? Darcy forced herself up onto her feet again, and this time, when she thought she felt a brush of wind that didn't match the whispers of the actual desert winds, she bolted back, out of the way, and the invisible something actually passed her by.

Of course, just as she was starting to think that she was awesome for having avoided it, it whirled around again, faster than she could move, and swept her legs out from under her.

Darcy cried out in pain again, as he elbow crunched hard on the ground, and she swore, scrambling up onto her knees again. It didn't feel broken, but it felt pretty crunched, and pain screamed up her arm when she tried to move it. Swearing a blue streak, she reached out to curl her fingers around a rock that was about the size of half a loaf of bread, and closed her eyes, trying to feel for those variations in the wind, again. She felt it before she heard it, and Darcy swung the rock, hard as she could, and felt it crack heavily into the skull – she was pretty sure – of whatever it was that was attacking her.

There was a yelp that reminded her of a wounded dog, then she swung the rock again, and again, and the creature that had been attacking her slumped to the ground, going still. Darcy touched the invisible, furry shape, and licked her lips, nervously.

“Darcy! Are you all right?!”

“Yeah, Jane... I’m okay,” Darcy shoved herself to her feet, wincing, and limped back towards the van. “I don't know what it was, but I think it's dead.”

“Oh, thank god,” Jane scrambled out of the driver's seat, offering her hands to Darcy, trying to help her into the van. “C'mon, back in here, we can go, we can get you to a hospital or something, figure out what happened... we can call SHIELD, they can come check on - “

This time, whatever it was that slammed into Darcy wasn't entirely invisible, it was made of a burst of a poisonous green that slammed hard into her ribcage, and threw her much further than the last creature had. Darcy slammed down to the rock strewn desert floor, and gagged as she tried to breathe, the breath entirely knocked out of her. It was so hard to breathe, she was actually sure that she was going to puke, it hurt so much ...

The thing, the green light, swept around her, then started to squeeze. Darcy struggled to try and pull the light thing off of her, but it was made of light , and it had the strange quality where it seemed able to touch her, but her hands just went right through it.

“Darcy!” Jane was suddenly there, trying to tug the thing off of her, but Jane was having the same problem that she was having, and she couldn't breathe, and there were black spots starting to swim in front of her vision...

“Release the Lady Darcy, foul sorceress!” A familiar voice howled, and there was a crackle of thunder somewhere overhead.

I’m going to die . Darcy thought. I’m going to die in the desert because a green glow worm squished me to death. This is not a dignified death. Fuck, I hope I get a kickass Asgardian funeral. Coulson could throw himself on my funeral pyre, unable to go on without me. Or something .

And then a massive hammer crashed down just beside her head, and the green light thing that was crushing her disappeared, abruptly.

Darcy sucked in a lungful of air, desperately, then managed to gag on it, coughing as her system tried to handle the sharp switch from no air to tons of dusty air, which tasted like the sweetest air she'd ever had in her life.

“Thor!” Jane cried, and Darcy panted as she looked up to watch her boss throw her arms around her blond buff god boyfriend's neck.

Darcy sighed, relieved, and rolled onto her back, panting heavily as she looked up at the stars. “Huh... well, welcome back to Midgard, Thor. Don't mind me, I’ll just lay here and die a little more.”

She wasn't even surprised when helicopters swept over the area a few moments later, and SHIELD agents rushed forward to figure out what was going on. Darcy just decided to stay where she was, and let her hands rest on her stomach as she just tried to breathe, watching the stars move and the last traces of the aurora that was the trademark of the bifrost flicker across them. She was dizzy and lightheaded, but at least she could breathe , so fuck all of this, she was just going to lay here until things looked better.

Holding a flashlight that sort of made him look like he had a halo, Coulson suddenly leaned into her field of vision. “Darcy?”

And things look better already .

“Heya, Coulson,” she said, not making any effort to actually move. “Nice to see you. I did wonder how long it would actually take you to get here once Thor made his triumphant return to Midgard. Speaking of, there's an invisible... thing... over there somewhere. I killed it with a rock, I sort of figure your equipment can probably pick up whatever it is and find it and everything... anyway, it's dead, and furry. I crushed its skull. Anyway... I didn't get a chance to use your shiny new taser, sorry about that, but thanks for it, it was pretty awesome.”

“You're welcome.” He shifted to offer her his hand. “Let's get you some medical attention, shall we?”

“I don't need medical attention... I’m fine. Honest.”

All the same, Darcy quite willingly took his hand, and let the man tug her up. She winced slightly, cradling her sore arm to her chest, and flushed when he gave her a sharp look. “What? Okay, so I might have hurt myself a little. Do we know yet what was trying to kill me? Cause it was totally trying to kill me.”

“We think it was the Sorceress,” he said, and looped his arm around her waist, helping her walk.

“Awesome, Loki's bitch. I so did not need to make her my enemy. And you totally said we weren't going to be doing this anymore. Not only are we apparently doing this, but everyone is now seeing us doing this.”

“We aren't doing anything, I’m helping you to medical attention.”

“Sure, that's what they all say,” she snickered, but leaned on him, regardless, letting Coulson all but carry her towards the helicopter that he had arrived in, and was very relieved to let him help her up onto the back seat. “...so where is the medical attention, anyway?”

“Here,” he said, calmly, and shifted to sit beside her, pulling a first aid kit down from where it was attached to the ceiling.

“...you're the medical attention?” She blinked.

“I am.” He agreed.

“Huh. You know, that's kind of hot, Coulson. Women like a man that can take care of them,” Darcy grinned, and watched him open the first aid kit.

He gave her a sharp look, and glanced about, like he was expecting someone to have heard her.

“Oh, live a little, secret agent man,” Darcy laughed softly, and reluctantly offered him her arm, wincing slightly when he tried to straighten it out. “Ow. Sorry, that's the elbow I smashed.”

“Take your coat off.”

“I say again, I thought we weren't - “

“Take it off, Darcy, or I’ll take it off for you.” Coulson said, calmly.

She grinned, deviously. “Take it off yourself, then.”

Coulson moved a lot faster than she had expected a middle aged man could. Before she really had a chance to react, he had popped all her buttons open with one hand, and with the other, had pressed his arm against the side of her neck, pushing her down as he pulled upwards on the jacket, twisting it. The next thing she knew, she was pinned to the seat cushion on her face, her uninjured arm twisted up behind her back, pinned between her back and Coulson's chest. His breath puffed slightly against her ear, and he said, quietly, “Do you want to reconsider that request, now?”

Darcy licked her lips, and shifted slightly, sounding slightly breathless. “...no, not really.”

The agent laughed softly, and said, “I was pretty sure we were supposed to be giving you medical attention. Trying to find out if you broke your arm, or not.”

“...we could figure that out after sex?” She suggested, licking her lips again.

“If we had sex in the helicopter, someone would notice.” Coulson said, logically.

“Come on, everyone's being busy...”

“If the helicopter starts rocking, we are definitely going to have someone come knocking,” Coulson said, calmly, but he was still pinning her to the seat, and he was pressing against her back in a way that she was pretty sure wasn't normally used on the people he typically pinned with this move of his.

Darcy shifted under him, twisting just enough that she could press an awkward kiss to his jaw. “C'mon, you're supposed to be all secretive and spylike and stuff... can't you have secret sex?”

“That would depend on exactly how devious and potentially illegal you want to be,” he smirked, nipping at her earlobe.

“Very.”

---

Darcy yawned as she walked out into the main room of their little laboratory, and stopped dead, mouth still open in a yawn.

“Good morn, Lady Darcy!” Thor said, cheerfully, and set a plate on the table.

“...you're half naked.” She said, at last, snapping her jaw shut.

Thor looked down at himself, then shrugged. “So I am.”

“...huh.” She said, then shook her head, and headed down to sit down at the table, herself, yawning as she looked down at the plate, then over at the stove, where Jane was cooking. “So... Jane... I sort of didn't expect to see you guys for, let's see... two more days.”

Jane flushed slightly, and smiled sheepishly at her. “We were hungry.”

“Yeah, I gathered, since you're making food,” Darcy said, then nodded at Thor. “He's still half naked.”

“Maybe you should grab a shirt, or something, Thor...” Jane suggested, flushed.

He looked down at himself, sort of surprised. “You think I should?”

“Naw,” Darcy waved it off, shaking her head. “I don't mind. I’ve never had a problem with a half naked man. Huh.”

“Huh?” Jane repeated, setting another plate on the table, and sitting across from Darcy.

“Oh, just thinking.” She grinned at her, innocently.

Only her mind wasn't innocent, naturally, because she was, at that moment, pondering exactly what Coulson looked like half naked. Or fully naked, really. They'd had sex three times, and so far, although she had managed to be mostly naked twice, she had not yet managed to see him naked. Now that Darcy realized this, though, it was pretty much all she could think about. She had to know what Coulson looked like, naked. This was very important.

She dug into the pancakes that Jane had made, seriously considering that, and wondered if she'd have to get herself in mortal peril again for him to show up and “debrief her”.

“How is your arm doing, anyway?” Jane asked, suddenly, and Darcy jerked herself from trying to picture what Coulson looked like under his suit jacket.

“Huh?”

“Your arm,” she laughed. “How is your arm doing?”

“Oh.” Darcy shifted her arm, considering that. “Still sort of stiff, but it's all right.”

“Phil, son of Coul seemed have taken excellent care of your wounds,” Thor said, shoving pancakes into his own mouth, grinning sort of awkwardly at her.

Darcy cleared her throat, refusing to blush and give herself away, and shoved her glasses further back up her nose. “Yeah, who knew that secret agent men have a lot of medical training, too? Coulson is a man of mystery, let me tell you.”

“She just likes him because he sent her a new SHIELD issued taser,” Jane rolled her eyes.

“Taser?” He asked, frowning slightly.

“The thing I shot you with, back when you were being crazy,” she said, confidently, shrugging. “You know, when I knocked you out with lightening?”

“Ah.” Thor nodded, grinning at her. “That was a fine talent.”

“I thought so,” she agreed, snickering. “Oh! That reminds me. This Sorceress woman... is this normal, her trying to kill someone that pisses her off?”

Jane, who was eating her breakfast, peered over at Thor, curiously.

“Yes.” He said, at once, setting his fork down. “She is a somewhat cruel woman. Now, she is wise, and talented, but she tends to be... perhaps obsessive. The Sorceress has tried to seduce me to her side for many centuries.”

Jane choked on her coffee.

“Huh.” Darcy grinned, considering that. “Well then, you probably shouldn't tell Jane that, next time, since she's in love with you, and everything. So she might come and try to kill me again?”

Thor glanced at her, his attention otherwise mostly on Jane, now. “...yes. She is likely to try her attacks again, as she was dissuaded this time.”

“...awesome.” She pouted, and poked at her pancakes, and went back to trying to picture Coulson naked.

---

Darcy was never going to admit it, but when Jane had come in to tell her that SHIELD wanted them to head to New York to talk about Thor's plans for the future of hero-ing, or whatever word it was they wanted to use – the first thing she had done was shove condoms in her purse. A whole lot of condoms in her purse.

Nope, she'd never admit it.

She also wasn't likely to admit that she spent about half an hour tearing through her whole wardrobe as she tried to find something that would be totally sexy to wear – because even though Coulson said that they weren't doing this anymore, she was still bound and determined to be the sexiest girl she could ever manage to be, because if she was, then at least Coulson would know what exactly it was he was missing by not doing this anymore. Her own wardrobe was disappointing, actually, and she darted back out into the main room to say, “Do I have time to go shopping before we head to New York?”

Jane looked up from packing one of her laptops, and scoffed. “ No , we need to leave in about twenty minutes.”

Darcy crinkled her nose, and frowned. “Fine.”

Darting back into her room, she went through all of her clothes again, and shoved some of them into a backpack to bring on the plane, because obviously she was going to need at least a couple changes of clothes, and finally wriggled her way into the sexiest outfit she had, which was a sundress, a multi-tiered patchwork dress of dozens of bright colours. It was way too cold for winter in New Mexico, really, but she grabbed a cardigan and tugged it on over top of the dress. Shoving her feet into cowboy boots, she jerked a brush through her hair, then shoved a few more things into her bag. Toothbrush and such, it was hard to be alluring and sexy when you have bad breath.

The flight itself was not on a commercial flight like she had expected, but was instead on some private jet that SHIELD had sent to pick them up.

“Huh,” she ducked under the low door, stepping into the plane itself. “This is cool.”

“I've never flown a private flight before,” Jane agreed, following her. Thor was a few steps behind her, though he looked wary, like he wasn't actually sure what he was doing.

“What manner of vessel is this?” He asked, frowning.

“It's a plane, Thor.” Jane glanced back at him. “Oh. You've never been on a plane before, have you?”

Darcy laughed, eagerly, sitting down in one of the leather seats, wriggling slightly in the seat as she considered it, tossing her backpack at her feet. “Oh man, I cannot wait to see how this works out... oh wait. Thor... you're not allowed to bring us outta the sky, all right?”

Thor frowned, and settled down in one of the other seats, looking like he sort of dominated the seat, like he was too large to actually sit in it.

Jane sat beside him, curling up to his arm, holding onto him. “Just... hold onto me, all right?”

The god looked entirely suspicious.

Darcy snickered, putting her iPod's headphones in, squirming down in her seat as she tugged one of her schoolbooks out of her backpack, and grinned as she pretended to read. “This is gonna be hilarious .”

And it was, too.

Thor didn't like the flight, and didn't like the idea of them being in the air traveling under forces that were not under his control. He gripped the armrests so hard that he broke them, and Jane had to keep constantly whispering soothing comments to try and keep him calm. But as funny as it was, Darcy was still relieved for them to arrive in New York and get off of the plane. A terrified Thor was really stressful.

Dipping her head to get out through the door, Darcy stepped out into the bright afternoon New York sunlight, shielding her eyes with her hand, considering the little air strip, which kind of looked like it was in the middle of nowhere, rather than in the middle of the city, like she was expecting. There were a few black cars with tinted windows sitting on the tarmac, and standing beside one of the cars, hands looped loosely behind his back, was Agent Coulson.

“You just fly back and forth across the country?” Darcy grinned, heading down the stairs they had dragged over to allow them to step down out of the plane. “You must have jet lag like nobody's business, Coulson.”

“I deal,” he said, with a smirk. “Hello, Darcy.”

Thor all but burst out of the plane behind her, scrambling down the stairs, Mjolnir held firmly in hand as he did. “Ah! We are free of that beat of a machine!”

Darcy snickered, shaking her head, and Jane stepped out after the god, looking tired.

“Thor, Dr. Foster,” Coulson dipped his head, nodding at them both. “Welcome to New York.”

Thor frowned, and looked around the space. “Hm. Is it very different from the old York?”

“...yes.” Coulson said, at last.

Darcy snickered, and hooked her thumbs in the straps of her backpack, grinning at Coulson. “So what's the plan, anyway? We going to go save the world, or something, or...?”

“We have a proposition for Thor, firstly.” Coulson admitted. “And we have propositions for the both of you, Dr. Foster, Darcy.”

“...interesting.” Darcy considered that, scratching her jaw. “Huh.”

The driver's door of one of the other cars opened, and an agent stepped out, wearing sunglasses. “Agent Coulson?”

“Yes, we're going now.” Coulson nodded. “Jane, Thor... if you don't mind, can you go with Agent Anthony, please? Darcy, I’ll take you in this car, here.”

“Sure thing, secret agent man,” she grinned, and slid into the front passengers seat of the black car, tossing her backpack into the back seat, and dropping her purse at her feet before she squirmed down in her seat, shoving her glasses back up. From where she sat, she watched as Jane and Thor got into the other car, then as Coulson talked to someone on his cell phone, then grinned as Coulson slid into the driver's seat of the car, cranking the key. “So... what's this 'proposition' you have for me, hm?”

“It's not that kind of proposition,” he said, smirking faintly as he pulled out of the small airport.

“Shame,” Darcy smirked, slowly sliding the skirt of her dress up her legs, trying to entice him. “Cause I was sort of hoping I could make a proposition of my own.”

Coulson laughed slightly, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. “Darcy, we are not going to do that again. Remember?”

“I remember. I just like ignoring you when you tell me that,” Darcy said, still sliding her dress up, slowly, until she was barely covered. “Because seriously, you flew me out to New York, the least you could do is fuck me.”

“You're making my job very difficult.” Coulson pointed out.

“Aww...” she reached over to run her fingertips up the line of his thigh. “Am I making your job hard and long?”

“I expect better innuendo from a bright girl like you.” Coulson said, calmly, turning onto the 119. “But yes, in fact, you are doing exactly that. However, at this rate, Darcy, there is a very good chance that we could be caught with the fraternization, and if we were, you would have a different agent assigned to your case.”

“...would they actually do that?” She hesitated, fingers stilling on his thigh.

“I think it would be most likely,” he agreed, finally, though he looked as calm and relaxed as he ever did. “As you are, technically, still part of an open investigation into the operation of the bifrost and the existence of the Asgardians. Now, eventually that status will change, I am sure, especially if I am ever able to finally convince you to join SHIELD. I would imagine, however, that if they were to discover that you and I had a... liaison, of sorts, then I imagine that they would act rather... proactively.”

“Hm.” Darcy considered that for a moment, then grinned at Coulson. “Well, that's a downright shame, ain't it? So how come we're taking Separate cars, anyway?”

“We imagined that Thor might take up a lot of space in the car.”

She arched a brow at the sheer level of bullshit contained in that answer. “You know that there are three other seats other than his, right? We totally could have all fit in the car. Or are you searching for excuses to get me alone, Agent Coulson?” She purred.

“Nonsense,” he said, calmly. “I have no reason to wish to get you alone. Speaking of, how's your schooling going?”

“Good, but I dunno how that's connected,” she snickered.

“Hm.” Coulson didn't answer her point, just calmly kept driving. “How long do you estimate that it will take you to complete the remainder of your degree?”

“I dunno,” Darcy shrugged, letting her fingertips continue trailing up his leg, skipping down the line of where his hip met his leg, humming slightly. “If I keep up the pace I’m currently on, and don't get distracted by my internship with Jane and stuff, then another three months should do it. Only six credits to go, which is two more classes. Speaking of, the courses you picked for me? The Role of the KJB and the Secret Police in the Fall of the Cold War, and How Espionage Won World War Two? Could you have possibly chosen courses that screamed 'Hey, I sort of work for SHIELD' any louder?”

“Unlikely.” He considered that. “As it was, we were forced to convince one of the professors to develop one of the courses for you.”

Darcy blinked at him, fingers pausing in the midst of unzipping his pants. (Okay, so she wasn't terribly subtle.) “You had to get a professor to create a course, just so that you could sign me up for what basically amounts to Spy Training 101?”

Coulson arched a brow at her. “Are you objecting?”

“I'm... stunned.” She admitted, then resumed the unzip. Never let it be said that Darcy wasn't focused when she set her mind to something. “Really. You had a course created for me?”

“I'm not sure that this is terribly hard to believe, Darcy. As I have said before, you are a bright young woman. We wish to have you join SHIELD.” He lifted his hips helpfully for her, eyes still on the road as she tugged his pants down a little. “If creating a course that helps prepare you better for that possibility is the most we have to do, yours would be an easy recruitment.”

Darcy narrowed her eyes at him, slightly, as she trailed her fingertips up and down his dick, which she was not actually surprised to discover was already half hard. Success ! “Pretty sure I already told you that I’m not joining SHIELD.”

“And I’m fairly certain I already told you we weren't doing this again.” Coulson countered.

“Touche,” Darcy agreed, and squirmed down in her seat, leaning over between her seat and his. “How good is your control of the car?”

“I can assure you that this will not be a problem.” He said, confidently.

“Challenge accepted,” she said, confidently, which seemed to be something she was saying a lot of, lately, and slid her lips over the head of his penis.

---

“Am I supposed to be impressed?”

“Darcy!” Jane hissed, flushed.

“What?” She crossed her arms over her chest, glaring up at the building that stood in front of them, which looked the same as every high rise office building ever, dark gun metal grey and reflective. There was no big sign saying that it was SHIELD, it just had a small logo near the door that sort of looked like a stylized eagle in a ring. “I mean, c'mon, it just looks like an office building or something. Even the FBI has a sign saying that they're awesome government agents and stuff. This just looks like... an office building!”

“It's incognito.” Coulson said, calmly, stepping up beside her.

Darcy glanced at him, then at the building again, frowning. “...incognito doesn't have to mean ugly stupid office building, does it?”

“Darcy!” Jane said again, flushed. “It's hiding in plain sight, it's not ugly.”

“I agree with the Lady Darcy,” Thor said, voice almost thunderous. “One would think that the security of all of Midgard would not be entrusted to some place that looks as though it should hold prisoners.”

Darcy snickered. “Toldja so.”

Coulson sighed slightly, and shook his head before starting up the steps into the building, motioning for them to follow him. Darcy didn't fail to notice that Jane and Thor laced their fingers, but her attention was mostly on Coulson's back as she followed him up the stairs, trying to imagine the lines of his body under his suit. Now that he was actually here , in front of her, she really needed to get on seeing him naked, even more than she had thought she needed to, before. Full on naked. Head to toe. She considered trying to draw what she would imagine he'd look like, but... her drawings sort of looked like stick figures, so that wouldn't really work.

Besides, it would be awkward as all hell if anyone found those doodles.

The foyer that they walked into was large and about as unattractively dull as the outside of the building had been. The walls were the same dull brushed metal as outside, the floor was black marble that was so terribly polished that they were like mirrors. Darcy checked, and yes, if you paid attention, you could see the reflection of her underthings on the tiles. Interesting. There was a massive desk set off to the side, like they didn't want to be obtrusive by putting it somewhere that you had to pass, but there was a woman sitting behind the desk, dressed in a sleek black suit, with her hair tied up in a tight bun that was really too severe for her fairly attractive face. Coulson was leading them over to this desk, now, and Darcy crossed her arms on the edge of the tall desk, grinning. “Hey.”

The woman behind the counter arched a single brow, and glanced at Coulson.

He smiled, faintly, and said, “We need the visitor badges that were brought down this morning. Thor, Dr. Foster, and Miss Lewis.”

“Ah, yes.” The woman slid her wheeled chair down the desk, slightly, and opened a drawer. Darcy stood on her tip toes, curiously, to peer over the edge of the desk, down at the surface of the desk, surprised that there was nothing on the surface of the desk itself, aside from a telephone and a laptop. What a dull sort of job. She really didn't think SHIELD was her sort of thing.

Darcy glanced at Coulson, who abruptly lifted his eyes from the floor. She glanced down at the floor, where he was looking, and grinned. Secret agent man had his eyes on the reflection of her up-skirt, huh?

Well, maybe she could be swayed on this whole SHIELD thing.

Coulson handed them each an ID badge, a white card attached to a clip, with their names printed in large black letters on the bottom, and each had their photo. Darcy thought it was the most awesome thing in the world to realize that Thor's photo was the one from the fake ID she had made for Dr. Selvig to rescue him from SHIELD with, which happened to be the stupid smile from the restaurant that first day. That almost made the fact that they had to wear this stupid thing the entire time she was in SHIELD headquarters, apparently, worth it.

Darcy clipped hers to the edge of her sundress, deliberately so that it would draw eyes to her breasts, and grinned cheekily at Coulson. “So... what now?”

“Now we bring you to your rooms and let you settle in before we meet with you.”

“About those propositions, huh?” Darcy grinned.

She could never imagine how he managed to keep his expression so very neutral and calm. “Yes, exactly.”

The elevator was as boring as the building, and so was the hallway that he eventually led them to. Thor got his own room, Jane got hers – ha , she thought, that won't be lasting long – and Darcy got hers. She stepped into the room, and shucked her backpack, setting it on the floor, frowning as she looked around the room.

“Well,” she declared. “This may actually be more boring than the building itself.”

The room was like the most banal thing she'd ever seen. If banality was a ring of hell, this room was in the dead centre of it. The walls were a pale tan cream colour, the floor was the same pale tan cream colour, and so were the covers on the double bed that was set against one wall, and the desk, chair, wardrobe and dresser in the room were white. There was a single framed picture hanging on the wall, probably the most inane thing she'd ever seen, a painting of an unnamed boat sort of tossed in the waves. The lights in the room weren't even bright enough to make it cheerful, it was instead sort of half lit, twilighty, and so terribly... dull.

“I'm sure you'll find a way to make it more interesting.”

Darcy jumped, and spun around to face the door. Coulson still stood in the doorway, which was still open, and she blinked. “...didn't realize you were still there .”

“Would you prefer I left?”

“No,” she rolled her eyes, and sat on the edge of the bed, considering the room, nose crinkled. “You live in a place like this?”

“I do have a room here, yes.” He agreed. “However, I also have an apartment, in Chicago. I live here when I am stationed in New York.”

“...are you stationed in New York a lot?” Darcy asked.

“Often,” Coulson agreed.

“Well, you should paint, or something, because this is... ugh.” Darcy shook her head, kicking her feet slightly. “So, when do I get my proposition, anyway?”

“Soon,” he hesitated. “In a few hours, likely, depending on how long it takes with Thor.”

“You gonna try and convince him to join SHIELD?” She asked, curiously. “Because I dunno how that would go over, but knowing Thor, he's so very eager to save people, he'd probably join. I dunno, I just... what does SHIELD do, anyway?”

Coulson hesitated.

“Or is that for the meeting, later?” She asked, furrowing her brows.

“That's probably mostly for the meeting,” he agreed, hands looped behind his back as he considered her, and he shifted only enough to kick the door closed, behind him. Darcy smirked. “Though I can provide some details.”

“Like what?” Darcy asked. “Or is that all confidential stuff?”

“It is, in fact, confidential.” Coulson said, resting his elbow on her dresser, watching her, calmly. “But there are obviously things that you know about, already. We deal with contact with other worlds, for one.”

“And people from other worlds,” she added. “Like Thor.”

“Yes,” he agreed, nodding. “Like Thor.”

“So are you basically Area 52 and all of that?” Darcy grinned. “Do you do alien dissections and everything?”

“I would have to say that I have never participated in an alien dissection.”

She snickered, and shifted back on the bed, leaning on the wall as she considered him, grinning slightly. She liked this part, with Coulson standing there so that she could watch him. She would rather he was curled up on the bed with her, naturally, but this would have to do. At least this gave her a good view. “Okay, fine, no alien dissections, then. But I mean... you are a government agent, right? Do you deal with assassins and stuff?”

“That, Darcy, is classified.”

“No fun.” Darcy snorted, and folded her legs Indian style, neatly under her, her patchwork skirt flared out around her legs.

“I know,” he agreed, and pushed off of her dresser. “I need to go, I’m expected at this meeting.”

“Well then. Will I see you later?” She arched a brow.

“At your meeting,” he confirmed, then stepped smoothly closer to her bed, and bent forward to press his lips firmly to hers.

Darcy immediately slid her arms around his neck, reaching up into him as she kissed him back, passionately, eagerly. Coulson met her desire with equal force, then finally – too soon, as far as she was concerned – he finally drew back, and just pressed his forehead to hers, for a long moment. Darcy panted, softly, and murmured, “Fuck. I don't want to stop doing this.”

“I know,” he said, then said, firmly, “But we can't keep doing this.”

“I know,” she groaned. “Fraternization, and all of that. All right, secret agent man, go do your job before I pin you to this boring as shit bed and make you forget all about those rules of yours.”

Coulson smirked, and straightened, smoothing his hands down the front of his jacket. “Careful, or I will take you up on that.”

“I want you to,” Darcy smirked.

“I gathered.”

---

Walking into the meeting room that a serious looking SHIELD agent had led her to, Darcy began to immediately feel that she should have dressed a little less I’m-going-to-distract-Coulson and a little more yes-I-am-a-professional-young-woman. This room carried on the theme of gunmetal and black marbles, but in this room, it managed to not look dull. Instead, it looked absolutely impressive and intimidating here, like they had deliberately made everything else dull just so that this room would look downright terrifyingly awesome.

The ceiling was high and sort of vaulted, and the windows at the back overlooked the city like they were in some kind of megalomaniac’s den of evil, or something. The table that ran down the centre of the room was massive and made of the same metal as the walls, as were all of the seats around it.

At the head of the table sat a slightly terrifying looking man with an eye patch over his left eye, and to his left, Coulson sat in his own seat, looking more stern than he usually did.

“Miss Lewis,” the man with the eye patch said, standing from his seat, and rounded the table to offer her his right hand. “Nick Fury. Director of SHIELD.”

“Oh. Darcy Lewis. Taser of Thor.” She said, brightly, and shook his hand. “That is some grip you have, Mr. Fury.”

“Thank you,” he smirked slightly, and stepped back, gesturing at the chair that sat to his seat's right, at the table. “Please, miss Lewis, have a seat.”

“Darcy.” She said, but slid into the seat, anyway, and glanced across at Coulson. He looked remarkably calm and quiet, his face pretty much completely expressionless. She would never want to play poker against that man, god damn, he had the best poker face she'd ever seen in her life. If she hadn't also managed to see the way he bit his lower lip when he came, she never would have thought it was even possible for him and this man to be the one and the same. He looked so very distant at the moment, so damn professional. “So... let's get this show on the road, huh? This isn't just a meeting for 'you should join SHIELD', is it?”

“It may have something to do with that,” Fury agreed, with a smirk, and slid a file folder closer to himself. Lifting her chin, Darcy peered at the folder, and arched a brow.

“...what's the Avengers Initiative?”

“It's a classified project,” he said, and set that file folder aside, and picked up the one that had been underneath.

“Everything's classified.” Darcy rolled her eyes, crossing her arms on the edge of the table, considering them both, glad she'd thought to grab a sweater before she left the house back in New Mexico, because this table was freezing cold, and it would really be cold on bare arms. “So far, in my encounters with SHIELD, the classified outweighs the things I have access to ten to one.”

“That may be so,” he agreed, and flipped open the file folder he was holding, now, flicking through the pages.

“So... is the Avengers Initiative why you brought Thor here?” She asked, cheekily.

“That is still classified material, Darcy.” Coulson said.

Darcy rolled her eyes. “Everything is classified, seriously. So if everything is classified, and I don't have the clearance to hear any of it, why, exactly, am I here?”

Fury looked up at her over the file folder, arching the brow over his one eye, giving her a serious, stern sort of expression. He abruptly spun the folder around, and slid it towards her, tapping the page that was laying open on top. “Read this, if you will.”

She arched her brows, but tugged the folder closer, and pursed her lips as she read to herself, shoving her glasses further up her nose.

Darcy was very aware of the three eyes on her, and cleared her throat slightly as she shifted, trying to focus on the page. It was a report on her, which was a little unnerving, detailing her school history, every extra curricular she had done in both high school and in college, detailing the death of that invisible creature whose head she'd crushed in with a rock, even her interactions with Thor. One point that actually surprised her more than she had expected was the fact that there was even an entire paragraph about the fact that she'd created a false ID for Thor – though she wasn't too impressed to discover that her computer hacking had been identified within seconds of them searching. Dammit. She'd thought she was pretty clever about that. Clearly she needed to get a little more training, so that even SHIELD couldn't figure out that she was faking it.

Finally, she looked up from the page, frowning slightly. “...so basically, you want me to read about how I’m awesome?”

“Essentially,” he agreed, and held out a hand for the folder.

Darcy gladly handed it back. “Okay, so we all know I’m awesome. What's that got to do with anything?”

Fury set the folder down on the little pile of folders that he had on the table in front of him, and set his hand on top of them, quietly. “The purpose of this report was to determine your appropriateness as a recruit for SHIELD. As you might have gathered from that report, we have been lead to believe that you could be an asset to SHIELD.”

She crinkled her nose. “Not interested.”

“You don't know what we want.” He pointed out, calmly.

“Look, it's nice of you to offer and all, and I know that it probably doesn't happen very often, at least if the whole 'everything is classified' thing is any indication. But I really don't think I’m the SHIELD type. I mean, obviously, you figured out that ID was fake within like... fifteen seconds.” Darcy threw up her hands. “I don't think I’m SHIELD material.”

“This report was written by Agent Coulson,” he nodded at Coulson, who still managed to look infinitely calm and sedate. “I have found, in the past, that if Coulson recommends someone, they are worth recruiting.”

Darcy arched a brow, and shoved her glasses up her nose again. “Maybe Agent Coulson is wrong.”

“I don't believe he is.” Fury said, calmly.

She considered Coulson with narrowed eyes, then twisted to face Fury properly. “What kind of SHIELD agent would you even want me for, anyhow? Cause I have told Coulson before, I do not want to be some techie that you shove in the basement and tell to work on computers. I am way too radiant to hide my light in a computer lab. Just... you know, for the record.”

“That would be something that would need to be considered, certainly,” Fury said, tapping the file folder.

Darcy frowned, crossing her arms over her chest. “...how about this. I won't just give you a big ol' fat no. I’ll consider it.”

Fury didn't look terrifically pleased with this decision, but he nodded his head slightly. “For now, Miss Lewis, we will accept that. But this is not an eternal offer. There will be an expiry date on this.”

“Don't suppose you're going to tell me what it is, are you?” She grinned.

“Obviously not.” Fury said, then leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. “Coulson. How about you bring Miss Lewis on a tour, show her around. Hell, maybe you can test out some of her skills in the gym. As I hear it, she's good with rocks, but I’d be interested to see how she is with an actual weapon.”

Coulson frowned slightly, then nodded. “Of course.”

“Dismissed.” Fury said, calmly.

“...you do know I’m not one of your agents, right?” Darcy smirked, but pushed her chair back, and stood up, heading out of the room, waiting for Coulson, who followed her with a serious, slightly pinched expression. She headed out into the hall, then barely waited for the door to close behind Coulson to ask, “What's that look for?”

“I am wondering if perhaps Fury knows more than he is telling,” he admitted, and touched her elbow lightly before nodding down the hall. “Let's see about getting you something a little more suitable to wear for training.”

“Oi. Training? I’m not one of your newbie agents, Coulson, I’m not joining SHIELD.”

“So I’ve heard. But if you don't want trouble, it's not a bad idea to listen to what Fury wants,” he said, smirking slightly. “So let's find you something suitable to wear.”

The hallways of the SHIELD building seemed remarkably empty, and Darcy glanced at Coulson, frowning slightly. They weren't talking, but she sort of figured that was mostly because of the fact that they were apparently not doing this again, and hell, this was his world. She didn't want to get him in trouble. He was a nice guy, after all – sexy as all fuck – and Darcy wouldn't be happy if she got Coulson in trouble just because she was practically irresistible. After all, it wouldn't be a nice thing to do, would it? It might also interfere with her desire to get laid, and after the mind blowing orgasms she'd had with Coulson so far... that was definitely not something she wanted to end. “How come there's no one else here?”

Coulson glanced at her, frowning slightly. “There are a lot of people here, just... not on this floor, right now.”

“Why not?” She asked, curiously.

“Because of Thor,” Coulson said, honestly, and opened a doorway, leading her into what looked very much like a changing room, all with lockers and showers and wooden benches, and everything. He opened one of the lockers, and handed her a neatly folded pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt. “There are some socks and better footwear, and everything else, if you'd like them, as well.”

Darcy took them, and kicked off her cowboy boots, setting the clothes on the bench. “So why does Thor mean we lock everyone else out?”

“Because Thor is extremely classified.” He smirked slightly, and settled on the end of the bench, folding his hands in his lap as he watched her. Darcy really didn't mind the idea that he was going to watch her get changed. Hell, if he wanted, she'd put on a little show for him. “He is a man of incredible power and strength, allegedly non-human and immortal, from another world, if nothing else. Whether he's an alien, a god, or a man with extraordinary superhuman powers, he is not what you would call human. Naturally, until we know exactly what the plan is for Thor, knowledge of him is granted to only extremely high clearance level agents.”

She peeled her dress off, and hung it in the locker Coulson had gotten the clothes from, leaving her in just her bra and panties. “But yet Jane and I know he exists.”

“You discovered him,” he pointed out.

“Guess that makes us pretty awesome.” She grinned, and tugged the t-shirt on, then her yoga pants.

“Or incredibly lucky.” Coulson smirked slightly.

“True,” she considered that, and decided to forgo the shoes and socks, she didn't need them anyway. “...why are these like, the perfect size?”

“Because I had them put there for you.” He stood, and lead the way into the gym that was beyond the little change room. “I'm pleased to hear you like the fit.”

Darcy snickered, shaking her head. “How the fuck did you know my size ?”

“I've seen you in various states of dress. I was able to estimate.” He said, with a smirk, then stepped to the side to let her see the gym itself.

It was actually massive. It reminded her in many ways of the gym from her old high school, with the wooden floor polished to a deep golden tone, marked all over with brightly coloured lines that probably indicated basketball or volleyball courts or something. There were what looked like jungle gyms in one corner, a couple ropes hanging from another, and a massive obstacle course running through the middle of the space. Just in front of them were blue mats, the kind that wrestlers used in that same old high school gym. “...did you steal my high school's gym?”

Coulson snorted, shaking his head.

“Also,” she hopped up onto the blue mat, padding barefoot across it, feeling the slightly roll of the softness under her feet, like she was moving on the deck of a ship. “Is it seriously just Jane, Thor, myself, then you and Fury on this floor?”

“At the moment,” he agreed.

“So... if I actually was a SHIELD agent...”

“You're only not an agent because you refuse to be one,” Coulson pointed out, following her across the mats, his black shoes squeaking slightly on the wooden floors when he stepped off of them. “You could be a SHIELD agent at any time, now.”

“So I hear.” She grinned, and grabbed the bars of the monkey bars, swinging off of them, slightly, just hanging for a moment. “But there's just us on this floor?”

“Yes,” he said again, calmly.

“So is there a massive meeting room like that on every floor, or...?” Darcy asked, swinging herself from bar to bar to bar, hand over hand.

“No, it's only on this floor.” Coulson answered, leaning on the end of the monkey bars for a moment, watching her. “This is the floor with the highest level of security.”

Darcy hummed, and tugged herself up through one of the holes in the monkey bars, sitting on top of the bars themselves, kicking her bare feet, idly. “So if I was an agent, and I was on this level, I’d have like... kickass levels of clearance?”

“You are on this level because you were part of the small group that discovered the situation.” Coulson laughed.

“So I hear,” Darcy agreed, then said, “So why are we in this gym, anyway?”

“I'm here to evaluate your skills as a potential agent, remember?” He arched a brow, then tapped the bars, stepping away. “Come, get down, we'll get started.”

“What am I gonna be doing?” She asked, swinging down onto the floor, and padding after him.

“Basic evaluation, first.” He glanced back at her, frowning slightly, then said, “Your prescription indicates that your vision is fairly poor, without your glasses. I would imagine that you would rather keep them on?”

“Yes, I’d rather keep them on,” she rolled her eyes, shoving them up. “So tell me what to do, secret agent man.”

Coulson smirked, an almost devious sort of smirk, one that said that he had evil plans in mind for her. Darcy smiled back, awkwardly, and waited for his directions.

Darcy was instructed to run what was apparently a basic drill – sit ups, push ups (she managed maybe three), laps around the gym, then a run through the obstacle course that was set up, all crawling under rope webs and darting through tires and climb over a wooden wall about six feet tall. By the time he was done running her through what felt like the most ridiculous gym class in her entire life, Darcy was panting and sweating, and finally ended up bent double, hands on her knees as she groaned. “This... is not fun.”

He tapped her chin with a soft smirk, and said, “Stand up, Darcy.”

She groaned, and stood, running her hands through her hair and wishing she'd thought to put it up in a ponytail or something. Her hair was sticking to the nape of her neck. “Right, I’m standing. I am probably not doing so well, am I?”

“I've seen worse,” he said, with a slight smirk. “Now... let's see how you are at hand to hand combat.”

Darcy blinked. “...who with?”

“Well, as I’m the only one here...” Coulson stepped onto the mats, holding out his hands, quietly.

“...you're in a suit.”

“And your glasses are slipping off your nose.” He said calmly. “Come on, now. Attack me.”

“...this strikes me as a bad idea.” Darcy said, firmly, stepping onto the mats itself, narrowing her eyes at him. “...you are going to kick my ass.”

“I'll stand back and let you attack me, if you wish.” Coulson smirked, and held out his hands, calmly. “Do as you will. I’m evaluating your physical capabilities, remember?”

“Yeah, to see if I could qualify as a secret agent, only I don't want to be a secret agent, this seems like the most pointless exercise on the planet,” she rolled her eyes, but shoved her glasses up again. “You know I have no training, right?”

“I'm not sure that matters. Come on, Darcy, are you afraid of me?”

“I am not afraid of you,” she snickered, though she didn't look quite as convinced as her words indicated she was, and she threw herself forward, just trying to push him.

Coulson, exactly as she expected, side stepped, neatly.

Darcy tried to turn as fast as she could, and ran at his back, only he side stepped that, neatly, too, and she grumbled, glowering at him. “...this isn't fighting, this is... me running around like an idiot. You are aware of that, right?”

“You're going to give up now?” He arched a brow.

“I am not going to give up,” she said, and swung her fist at him.

Coulson caught her hand, and twisted her so quickly that her glasses actually slid right off of her sweaty nose and skittered away across the floor, clattering until they stilled some yards away, and he swung her arms, pinning her to his chest with her own arms. Panting heavily, Darcy licked her lips, and said, “...we're still fighting, right?”

“We're still fighting,” he confirmed, breathing in her ear.

“Good, always wanted to try this.” She bent at the waist, trying to use the muscles in her legs to pivot him, and flip Coulson over her head. He was probably playing along, either to humour her or because this would hurt less if he did, but Coulson let her throw him over her head, and he landed on his back on the mats, looking up at her with a single arched brow, smirking slightly. “Holy shit, that worked?!”

Except that Coulson suddenly flipped onto his stomach, and thrust himself up as though he was doing a hand stand. Swinging as he did, he pinned her head between his thighs, and twisted them both, and Darcy yelped as they both crashed down to the mats again.

“Coulson!” She yelped, surprised. He was basically holding her in a headlock, but with his legs, and she wriggled, trying to get free.

“Yes?” He asked, leaning over to peer down at her, casually.

Darcy groaned, and fell limp, looking up at him. “...you are aware of the fact that this is kind of humiliating, right?”

“And if you were an agent, in this situation... what would you do?” He asked,

“...taser you?” She suggested.

“Not actually a bad suggestion,” Coulson nodded, slightly, then squeezed his thighs slightly, as though trying to remind her that he was pinning her. “But you don't have a taser right now, and you could be in a situation where you wouldn't have a taser. So what are you going to do, Darcy?”

Darcy narrowed her eyes, considering that. “...punch you in the junk?”

“Dirty, but technically doable.” He laughed.

Darcy wriggled a little testing the tightness of his hold on her, and frowned slightly. “I could hit you in the knees, or punch you in the stomach, but that would probably just piss you off...”

“Here, give me your hands.” He held out his hands for her. She took them, and he pressed her fingertips into the insides of his thighs, just above his knees. “Do you feel the muscle group under the skin there? Okay, yeah... press very hard there.”

She frowned, and did as ordered.

Coulson laughed softly, and said, “That's not very hard. If it was hard enough, it would actually make me release you, but... you're not actually pressing hard enough. Take your three fingers, and hit as hard as you can.”

“You want me to hurt you.”

“I want to see if you can do it,” Coulson agreed, after a moment.

Darcy narrowed her eyes at him, wishing that she had her glasses, and pushed as hard as she could.

One of his legs moved, not a lot, but enough that she was able to squirm out from between his legs before he could recover his position, and she scrambled up onto her hands and knees, darting to get her glasses, and tugging them on. “Ha! I did it!”

Coulson shifted forward, resting on one knee, and snapped out his arm, fingers moving like a cobra's strike as he hit her in the spot he'd just shown her, and Darcy yelped as her leg buckled under her, and she dropped down to one knee. Sucking in a sharp breath, she gaped up at him, and said, “ Ow !”

“That is what you could have done.” Coulson said, calmly.

“Ow.” She said again, and rubbed at the spot he'd just hit. “...okay, that was pretty impressive, though. My whole leg feels like pins and needles.”

“Pressure points.” He said, and stood, stepping closer to her. He held out his hand, smiling at her.

“Huh.” She took his hand, then jerked on it, trying to tug him down. Only Coulson tugged harder than she did, pulling her up to her feet, pinning her in his arms, lifting her right off the floor in a bear hug sort of thing. Darcy laughed, and looped her arms around his neck, asking, “Are we still fighting now, or are we done with that?”

“That depends on you,” he said, calmly.

Darcy grinned, and leaned down to kiss him, fiercely.

Coulson hefted her up slightly, his arms under her ass as he lifted her. He shifted, then he twisted them both, landing on his back, somehow twisting when he did so that he took most of the impact of the landing, but he apparently didn't seem to mind, because he twisted them both, pinning her firmly to the mats.

“Fuck,” Darcy gasped, arching under him. “Coulson...”

He kissed her again, fiercely, pinning her to the mats by pressing the heels of his hands against the sharp lines of her hips, holding her down as he did.

Darcy bucked up against his hold, the feeling starting to return to her leg, and she slid her legs between his, knocking his balance off just slightly, and twisted. Coulson actually rolled back onto his back, and she pinned him with her thighs, grinning at him. “Pinned you.”

“Did you now?” He said, and twisted them again, pressing his forearm across her collarbone, holding her down. “Pinned you back.”

“...now you're fighting dirty,” Darcy bucked, wriggling until his arm shifted just slightly against her collarbone – ha, wearing your suit jacket has actually worked against you this time, secret agent man – and she twisted again, ducking out from under his arm, and squirmed until she was on her hands and knees, crawling away from Coulson as quickly as she could.

Coulson's fingers snapped out in that cobra strike again, this time hitting her in the inner thigh, just below her crotch, and she went down to the mats again – only not crying out in pain this time. It was the exact opposite of what she had expected, because while it knocked her down to the mats, it felt good .

“That is fighting dirty.” Coulson said, lowly, trailing his lips over the shell of her ear as he leaned over her.

Darcy whimpered, trembling as she bucked. “...fuck, what was that ?”

Her whole body felt like it was tingling, electricity skittering just under the surface of her skin, up and down her spine, rainbows flaring in her synapses. It was like having sex, only obviously she wasn't having sex, she was just lying there on the mats trembling like a moron, eyelids fluttering slightly. “ Fuck !”

“There are many pressure points in the body, Darcy,” Coulson pressed his thigh between hers, pinning her down to the mats as he purred in her ear. “Some cause pain, some cause pleasure.”

“I should... probably not use... this one... on enemies, huh?” She panted.

“Enemies? No, I wouldn't recommend it. Unless you wanted them to be helpless with pleasure, which you might.” Coulson said, calmly, and trailed his fingers along her crotch through her legs, grinning slightly when she did, as she bucked against his hand, and groaned. “Do you think you would?”

“Who knows?” Darcy groaned, wriggling. “Fuck.”

“Is that what you're looking for?” He said, pressing harder, calmly.

“Generally.” She agreed, biting her lower lip, firmly. “Coulson...”

Coulson shifted, kissing the back of her neck, nuzzling at the sweaty hair at the nape of her neck. The crotch of her yoga pants were damp, now, and as he rubbed, she rolled her hips back against him, groaning.

“If – if you don't start getting me more, I am going to find some pressure points on you,” Darcy said, breathlessly, biting her lower lip, firmly.

“Is that a threat, Agent Lewis?” He drawled.

“Darcy.” She said, again, firmly, squeezing his forearm. “I'm not working for SHIELD.”

“We'll see,” Coulson abruptly tugged her tighter to his chest, pressing her back against his chest as he slid his hand down the front of her yoga pants, then inside her panties, pressing two fingers slowly inside of her, pressing her open with his hand. Darcy cried out, her head falling back onto his shoulder. He hummed, nipping at the side of her neck again as he fucked her with his fingers, slick and wet. Pressing his thumb against her clit, he kept thrusting his fingers, almost teasingly slow, a maddening, tortuous pace.

“Shit,” she gasped, breathlessly, biting her lower lip. “C'mon, you can do more than that...”

He pressed his lips to the space just below her ear, his free hand sliding up her stomach, under her shirt, teasingly.

“Coulson...” Darcy groaned.

“Mmhmm.” He hummed against her skin, fucking her with his fingers, until the girl in his arms arched, letting out a breathless cry as her thighs trembled against his hand. Coulson kept stroking, slowly, gently, until her trembling ceased and she finally fell limp and still in his arms, just panting for breath. “Well then. Am I forgiven for the pressure points, then?”

“Mmm... not sure yet.” She shifted, and he slid his hand out of the front of her pants so that she could turn to face him. “I have something I really need.”

“And that is?”

“I want to see you naked.”

Coulson arched a brow, surprised by that. “Naked.”

“Yeah.” She grinned, leaning up to gently press her lips to his. “Naked. You've seen me, as you've said, 'in various states of dress', and I have only ever seen you ever so perfect in your suit. Well, I’ve seen your dick, I’ve seen parts of you, but you have worn a tie every single time we've had sex, and as much as I love that tie, because it's kind of kinky to fuck a man in a tie, I would really like to see you naked.”

“That could be arranged.” He kissed her again, then stood, easily. “Coming?”

“Already did,” she said, cheekily.

“Ah, how very clever, Darcy,” Coulson smirked, and offered her his hand. When she took it, he tugged her up to her feet, and lead her towards the change room. “You can shower here, if you want, or in your own room.”

“I'd like company,” she said, calmly.

He glanced back at her, almost surprised, then nodded, once, and said, “Your room, then.”