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Hyper Princess Pitch

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Hey, I came all the way here to give you a pitch, it’s about a princess, a hyper princess. Hear me out, it’s about a princess you know from like the medieval times, except it’s not.

This princess had some friends until one Christmas where everybody got gifs under the community tree, and she didn’t, because her gifts were waiting at her castle. But she had no clue, so she got really mad and started attacking everyone.

Here is where the story gets crazy because the princess puts the community Christmas tree on fire. Which puts Santa and the reindeers on fire too.  She thought that they were built by the king and queen to sell the whole idea of Christmas.

Santa and his reindeer are robots and that was the last thing that pushed the princess’s hatred toward Christmas over the limit and she decided that she will travel to the North pole and kill every single person who has anything to do with Christmas.

And so, she hops on her rocket powered living cat! Yeah, I also don’t have a clue how that’s possible but roll with it. And flies to the North pole, did I mention she has a gun? Well, it’s a rocket launcher but without the rockets instead it shoots bricks, as fast as minigun, but calling it brick launcher does not sound that cool, or does it?

Once she arrived, she found a huge factory where gifts for children are made, the story her parent were saying weren’t made up lies. That didn’t stop her rage and she did her best to murder every single Santa’s little helper she found, turns out they are all robotic too.

Then she met Santa again face to face and why would she kill him with boring old bricks launcher that wouldn’t be a cool enough ending. How about an unexplainable rainbow beam? Yeah.

But before Santa Clause dies, he gives a gift to Princess Pitch. That makes her realize that Santa is not mean but a nice person she takes her gift and flies back home. But, on the way, home she hears that the gifs she got is ticking, and the gift explodes!

This does not kill Princess Pitch but makes her so mad she returns right to the north pole picks up Santa Clause flies him up, out into space and slams him down on the ground destroying the whole plane Earth.

Did I mention her mother is the goddess of explosions? No? Well now you know.

So, what do you think about my Hyper Princess Pitch?

I don’t think it’s a good idea, it sounds like you literary made it up right at the spot.

Well yeah, but it wouldn’t hurt to try, the best things happen spontaneously.

The end.