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Lee Suhyeok found himself hungry and sore as he stood on front of the entrance of Cheongsan’s Chicken. The smell of food lingering in the air from the stalls and other restaurants nearby didn’t help at all with his situation. After hiding behind one of the cars across the street for 30 minutes, Suhyeok’s sore muscles from playing sports earlier at school was starting to be a discomfort throughout the night. Even with all the bright neon lights and the flashy signs that lit up the streets; the lively weekday atmosphere beckoning anyone to stay awake and to indulge in the Hyosan nightlife. Feeling tired shouldn’t be even possible for someone as energetic and social as Lee Suhyeok. Now with a grumbling stomach and a looming migraine, Suhyeok felt like he was about to pass out right there and then on the ground.
But he didn’t want to, and he had a reason to show up this late on front of the restaurant. Waiting for I-sak, Onjo, and Gyeong-Su to leave was the only way for him to avoid any further social interaction. Don’t get him wrong, Suhyeok wasn’t avoiding his classmates for no reason at all but he was avoiding them so he could get his chance alone.
It was the only chance he could spend some alone time with Cheongsan after two busy weeks of school. He needed to talk to him about something.
With his head held high and his hand firmly on the handle, Suhyeok pushed through and let himself in. The chimes hanging above sounded which alerted Ms. Lee who’s back was facing the counter. The savory aroma of cooked chicken hit Suhyeok’s nose violently. Salivating like a thirsty dog, Suhyeok could feel his stomach lurch forward again as Ms. Lee turned around and greeted him enthusiastically.
“Suhyeok! Hello dear, what brings you here tonight?” The older woman asked as she gestured towards one of the empty tables that still had four empty plates on it. With a smile to reciprocate Ms. Lee’s warm welcome, Suhyeok respectfully bowed before walking up towards one of the empty seats. “Good evening Ms. Lee, I was just passing by to say hello. I see that Onjo and the rest had left already?” He asked.
Mrs. Lee nodded before wiping her hands on her apron. “Yes they already did. They had to leave because I-sak and Gyeongsu needed to get home early. Cheongsan also took Onjo home but he’s coming back to fetch some drinks. Oh, since you’re also here would you like to try my chicken recipe? I hope you’re still not full already.” She said.
Suhyeok slightly pouted upon hearing OnJo’s name, but nevertheless he still managed to flash an appreciative smile. “I’m hungry as always Mrs. Lee. I would never pass on the chance to try any cooking, especially yours for the restaurant. I’m sorry I showed up late and unannounced, I hope you’re not cleaning up already.” He timidly said. Suhyeok kind of felt bad for showing up deliberately late but Mrs. Lee didn’t seem to mind as she took out a platter of fried chicken that was still warm. Once again, Suhyeok’s stomach grumbled but in a more aggressive manner.
“It’s alright Suhyeok. A growing boy like you needs a lot more food in order for you to grow stronger. Here, eat as much as you want and tell me what you think about the recipe I made.” Mrs. Lee laid the plate down as Suhyeok took his seat. He slid his duffel bag off f his shoulder and onto the floor before pushing his blazer sleeves up. “Thank you Mrs. Lee.” He thanked with delight.
The older woman beamed. “You’re welcome Suhyeok. I’ll just be in the back to check on some inventory. Please take your time and make yourself feel at home.” Suhyeok nodded as he watched the woman disappear behind one of the doors. It didn’t take too long for Suhyeok to start devouring the first piece of fried chicken like a starved animal. The sweet and salty flavors exploding in Suhyeok’s mouth with every bite sent the hungry boy into cloud nine. The tangy taste in the back of his throat as he swallowed every morsel of meat was what gave the chicken a bit more oomf for Suhyeok; his senses appeased with the aroma, flavors, and textures of the first three pieces of fried chicken he was consuming in a short amount of time.
Engrossed in his quest to satiate himself, Suhyeok was too famished to notice a stupefied Cheongsan who had just came back from one of the 24/7 stores nearby. The ringing of the chimes deterred Suhyeok’s attention towards Cheongsan, whose mouth was agape at the site of his classmate feasting on his mother’s fried chicken.
Suhyeok felt his heart skip a beat as the two boys locked eyes. Suddenly, relishing on the chicken was not part of the picture anymore as Suhyeok felt his cheeks heat up. Unable to say single word, Suhyeok could only stammer as he placed his fourth chicken down. “Oh um, hey Cheongsan I-“
“What are you doing here?” Cheongsan questioned as he clutched the bag of goods against his stomach. “I thought you went home early? Wu-Jin told me you were busy the entire day.”
“I uh I just dropped by to say hello, that’s all.” Suhyeok glanced at the sign on the window opposite of his table. “And of course I heard from I-sak that Cheongsan’s Chicken was opening soon so I wanted to wish you guys all the luck.”
Cheongsan’s face contorted as he cringed at Suhyeok’s words. Suhyeok knew Cheongsan had qualms over the restaurant name and how it was slightly embarrassing for him; but to Suhyeok, the restaurant name was honestly cute and it really was kind of funny. Admittedly, the name wasn’t probably 100% ideal to Suhyeok himself but he loved the way Cheongsan looked when he was annoyed over things like this.
“Please don’t tell me you actually think that it’s a proper name.” Cheongsan responded with a small tinge of displeasure in his voice. He walked up towards Suhyeok’s table and plopped down the plastic bag on front of the taller boy. “Why did you even come here?” Cheongsan grumbled.
Suhyeok pressed his lips together at the irked expression plastered on the other boy’s face. “Why not? I thought now was a perfect opportunity to speak its you. Plus I think Cheongsan’s Chicken is a great name for the restaurant.” He retorted with a small snort. Cheongsan rolled his eyes. “So typical of you.”
Suhyeok raise his hands in defense. “Sorry but I’m actually speaking truthfully here.”
The other boy frowned. “You shouldn’t be here Suhyeok. I’m sorry but I think you should go.”
There was a rising acrid quality in the way Cheongsan spoke. Suhyeok was slightly taken aback by the sudden unusual cattiness coming from his friend. Presumably, it could’ve stemmed from the hectic school activities being crammed within the weeks now, but Suhyeok was sure that wasn’t the case.
“Your mom said it was fine for me being here. Plus it hasn’t been twenty minutes yet and I still have to finish the chicken she served.” Suhyeok responded firmly. “And I just wanted to say hello to you too, that’s all. We haven’t spoken that much for two weeks now.”
“I’ll tell mom you loved the chicken but please just go.” Cheongsan glanced away as he crossed his arms across his chest. “It’s already late.”
“But it’s still 7:45.”
“I don’t care Suhyeok, just please go.”
There was a small tug of pain somewhere in Suhyeok’s chest; The peaceful atmosphere faltering into gloom with the change in tone in Cheongsan’s voice. Suhyeok could notice that his friend was genuinely annoyed this time and not in a playful manner as always before. “What’s wrong Cheongsan?” He asked concernedly.
“Just go.” Cheongsan said defeatedly.
“Why are you acting like this? What did I even do?” Suhyeok pleaded. The other boy still didn’t tear his gaze away from the window. “Cheongsan why are you avoiding me?” The slight hurt in Suhyeok’s voice now noticeable.
“I’m not avoiding you Suhyeok. I don’t have the energy right now to see you so please just leave. You can take the entire plate of chicken if you want.” Cheongsan replied with in a disconsolate temper, a doleful expression now creeping it’s way up of Cheongsan’s face.
Stubbornness was one of Suhyeok’s defining qualities - although it got him into trouble for most of the time - he still held his ground, unmoving from his seat as he lowered his head to look down at his bone filled plate. “You are avoiding me. If you weren’t being such a bitch then you would’ve seen that by now.”
Suhyeok knew he would regret what he said when Cheongsan whipped his head towards him. Those once kind and gentle eyes were now deflagrated with fury as Cheongsan gripped one of the chair’s backrests aggressively. “I’m the bitch? Are you being serious right now or has your ‘pretending to be stupid in class’ actually dumbed you down? I just you to go Suhyeok, please, is that so hard to understand?”
“What if I don’t want to, Huh? What if I’m here because I’m a human being who actually cares about someone else’s feelings. You’re smart, you should’ve understood that too already right?” Suhyeok snapped back; a mixture of despondency and irritation dripping from his tongue. “I think we both know you’ve been avoiding me because of what we did on the rooftop.”
Cheongsan pointed his finger at Suhyeok as his brows furrowed in anger. “I don’t want to hear about this now Suhyeok.”
“No! I’ve had enough of a weeks worth of worrying and pining over the questions in my head. I keep asking myself if I somehow fucked you up or screwed you over because you keep refusing to even look or be around me.” Suhyeok clenched his fists at the edge of the table - his eyes now locked on Cheongsan’s deadly glare. “What is it, huh? Did I do something to force you to elude my every chance to talk to you?”
“No you didn’t do anything-“
“Was it because I let you confess?”
“Suhyeok I-“
“Was it because I reciprocated when you kissed me?”
“Please-“
“Or was it because I admitted that I liked you back too?” Suhyeok vociferated as he shot up from his seat.
Almost as in sync with the flash of lighting and the roar of thunder from outside, Cheongsan’s fist came into contact with Suhyeok’s cheek with a loud smack. It almost felt like everything was in slow motion for Suhyeok - his body flinging off of the chair and onto the cold hard floor where he fell on his side - the chair almost toppling over with him in the process. There was a deafening silence that followed as the two boys froze in their place, almost as if caught by surprise of what had just happened.
Suhyeok could taste the metallic coppery flavor of blood mixed with the aftertaste of the chicken in his mouth. The nauseas feeling in his stomach and the weight on his chest pressing down on him was enough to burst Suhyeok’s emotional reservoir within. All the emotions surging through his brain… it was all too much to handle at this point for Suhyeok.
Realizing what he’d just done, Cheongsan attempted to move or even utter a single world from his agape mouth; but alas all that he could mutter was was a pathetic croak at the site of his friend whom he had just punched. “Suhyeok I-I-“
“Cheongsan what’s going on in there?” Mrs. Lee emerged from the back with a puzzled look on her face. She barely had time to process anything before Suhyeok - with his head still down and turned away from Cheongsan - immediately snatched his bag and got up swiftly to run out of the restaurant; A small and low “I’m so sorry.” escaping his lips as he went through the door and out into the street.
Rain started to pour almost instantly with the droplets hitting Suhyeok’s bare skin as he kept running down the empty street. Cold, confused, and in tears; Suhyeok didn’t stop running as he blindly darted towards another street. With tears in his eyes and the water running down his face, Suhyeok cursed and babbled incoherent things under his breath as the pain in his chest swelled tenfold. The feeling of anguish, despair, and bitterness numbed Suhyeok when lost his footing and collided with a brick wall. Exhausted, Suhyeok simply sat down not caring that he was sitting on a dirty puddle.
All that Suhyeok could do now was to cry - not just a simple stream of tears with some leakage of snot - but Suhyeok cried with all his might as he let his emotions run through. The bile in his stomach made him want to puke and his wails were straining to his throat like chalks on a board. He didn’t care at all, he just wanted to cry from all the pent up frustration.
“Suhyeok! Suhyeok I’m sorry!” Cheongsan shouted as he emerged from behind some of the parked cars. It was evident on the boy’s face that he was regretting what had just happened a few moments ago. The boy didn’t care that his uniform was now drenched even though he knew that his mom would be furious by now.
“Suhyeok are you okay?” Cheongsan ran faster towards the other boy. Suhyeok wanted to get up an to continue running but his energy was officially drained to even let him budge. He shut his eyes before burying his head into his arms; the broken sobs muffled through the blazer material as Suhyeok flinched away from Cheongsan’s touch. “Suhyeok I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry I did that.”
Cheongsan knelt on front of his friend; his hands cautiously caressing Suhyeok’s forearms in order to calm the taller boy. Suhyeok’s heartbreaking sobs was all it took for Cheongsan to break down as well. It was well known among their peers that Suhyeok was one of the bravest and strongest people at school with his reputation being that of an all around good guy; a student who held his head high at the face of any adversary but who was also a sweetheart and a role model to all.
Seeing him now look so broken and so emotionally drained, Cheongsan hated how tired Suhyeok must’ve felt waiting for an answer; He hated how Suhyeok started to turn girls away or how Suhyeok started looking at him the same way Onjo looked up at the taller boy in admiration. Cheongsan really hated that he kept dozing off in class after staying up all night thinking about Suhyeok - his strong arms, his gorgeous smile, his innocent jokes, and his compassion towards others - it was all Cheongsan could ever think about and he hated it, he hated how the boy he knew throughout his entire school life could make him feel like the happiest guy in their school.
Cheongsan hated that he poured his heart out to Suhyeok on the school rooftop on that Monday evening; the two boys drenched in the pouring rain being similar as to what was happening now. Cheongsan hated that Suhyeok didn’t get mad or laugh at his face for acting like a fool who was too blinded by love. It was Suhyeok’s big hands on Cheongsan’s waist and Suhyeok’s soft lips on Cheongsan’s chapped ones that sealed their fate.
Cheongsan hated that he was worthy of Suhyeok’s love because he knew he didn’t deserve it, he didn’t deserve such a wonderful person to love him wholeheartedly. Even thought he hated Suhyeok for all the wrong reasons, Cheongsan hated that he had left Suhyeok hanging for weeks because of his own struggle with coming into terms with the reality; the reality being that Cheongsan truly loved a boy - and not just any boy that passed the school hallways - but Lee Suhyeok, the boy that was by his side all through highschool.
Cheongsan was scared but that didn’t matter to him anymore. He needed to give what Suhyeok truly deserved.
“Suhyeok?” Cheongsan asked after a long pause, hoping for the other boy to raise his head. Suhyeok sniffed before lifting his head up to meet Cheongsan’s loving gaze. Even thought Suhyeok looked like a complete and dirty mess, Cheongsan cupped both of Suhyeok’s cheeks before leaning in to kiss the taller boy.
It was that Monday evening all over again. The same rush of euphoric emotions now stronger than ever was rushing through both of this bodies. Like sparks of electricity reigniting a flame, Cheongsan could feel the warmth coming back to Suhyeok as their lips locked and moved in sync. The scent of Suhyeok’s cologne mixed with the scent of wet asphalt was like an aphrodisiac to Cheongsan’s senses as he melted into Suhyeok’s warm and inviting mouth.
Cheongsan was the first to break the kiss, his eyes still shut as the two boys let their emotions settle down from the high. Cheongsan held Suhyeok’s face as he started crying more. “I’m so sorry I did that I just- I just lost control right there I-I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me I’m really sorry Suhyeok.” Cheongsan apologized profusely in a hushed whisper; the guilt now evident on his face.
“I just… I guess I was just scared, you know? I was just afraid that I’d mess this up.” Cheongsan explained as he lowered his head in shame. “I was afraid that things would change between us and that I was going to lose a friend. I know it sounds stupid and immature but I just didn’t know how to handle these new feelings I felt inside.”
“You’re the most perfect guy in school and Onjo loves you and everyone loves you, like, I thought that you being in love with me was my fault and that you liking me back would screw your reputation or something.” Cheongsan explained nervously, his hands shaking as he tried formulating sentences in his head.
“I thought I messed you up somehow. Liking another boy isn’t exactly something everyone around here accepts, you know?” The silence coming from Suhyeok made Cheongsan more anxious than ever. Face red from shame and embarrassment,
Cheongsan cringed at every word he said because he knew how crazy he sounded. But he could feel the weight of Suhyeok’s gaze pushing down on him with every silent second that passed.
“B-but what I did is inexcusable and pushing you away because of my own conscience should never had happened. I’m sorry Suhyeok, I really am.” Cheongsan added as he laid his hands on the other boy’s shoulder.
Suhyeok took a deep breath as he shut his eyes to process everything. “No it’s my fault for not knowing Cheongsan, I’m so-“
“No, Not this time Suhyeok. I made a terrible move and I left you hanging so it’s not your fault at all. Your frustration is perfectly valid and I intend to make it up to you this time. I’m not running away or hiding again this time Suhyeok, I promise.” Cheongsan finished before placing his hand on top of Suhyeok’s.
Suhyeok smiled as he looked down at their two hands touching; Cheongsan’s fingers wrapped around his was a comforting sight to see. “So there’s a next time?”
“What?”
“You said that there’s no avoiding me again anymore this time. Are you saying that you’ll let me in?” Suhyeok asked in a hopeful tone. “Because I want to. How about you?”
Cheongsan nodded. “Yes, Suhyeok. I want you in me.”
“What did you say?”
“Wait no, oh God I meant to say I want you because you want me in and I want that too…. Wait!” Cheongsan stammered as he internally slapped himself. But Suhyeok started to chuckle as he burst into laughter at Cheongsan’s embarrassing mistake. The other boy could only cover his face as he mentally kicked himself.
“Wait no this isn’t funny I’m being serious right now, why are you laughing?” A bewildered Cheongsan watched as the taller boy continued laughing uncontrollably with his hand against his chest. Wheezes and coughs soon followed as Suhyeok held on to Cheongsan’s shoulder to keep himself from tumbling over. Somehow, Cheongsan managed to catch Suhyeok’s contagious laughter as he himself had started to hold back his own.
“No I meant to say that I’m letting you in. There, I said it correctly now.” Cheongsan snickered as he shook Suhyeok’s arm. The defeated wheezing noises coming from Suhyeok started to die down as the taller boy tried to compose himself.
With a wide smile now plastered on his face, Suhyeok cleared his throat. “I never got the chance to tell you this but… you’re so cute when you’re embarrassed or annoyed.”
“Oh my God.” Cheongsan covered his face. He bit his lip as he tried to suppress his incoming giggle. Suhyeok remarked. “Don’t worry, we’ll work on ‘letting me in’ when we get there after a few more dates after our first tomorrow.”
“Dates? I literally punched you and ignored you for weeks and now you’re asking me on a date as if I’ve been forgiven?” Cheongsan asked perplexedly.
Suhyeok stopped giggling before raising a brow. “Who said I forgave you, hmm? I think you’ve gotten ahead of yourself buddy.”
Still bemused by whatever was happening to Suhyeok, Cheongsan sighed as he smiled to himself. “Okay whatever, I give up you win.” He declared with hands both raised.
Another small laugh escaped Suhyeok’s lips before he shifted his position and knelt on front of Cheongsan to get to his eye level. Inches away from each other’s faces, Suhyeok interlocked both of his hands with Cheongsan’s fingers like two children playing a nursery game.
The rain had started to weaken but the droplets of water cascading down each other’s skin created an ethereal glow from the neon lights around. Cheongsan’s eyes followed the droplet trails that traveled down Suhyeok’s pink cheeks. He noticed how angelic the taller boy looked in the neon glow with his big doe eyes reflecting the glow and making them sparkle. A chill went down Cheongsan’s spine as he felt the warmth from Suhyeok’s breath; it was so sensual yet so strangely enticing to see the boy he loved in this kind of light.
Noticing Cheongsan’s entranced stare, Suhyeok licked his lips as a grin crept up on his face. “Now Cheongsan, do you know how you can get me to forgive you?” He questioned in an almost sultry way. Cheongsan rolled his eyes with a small snicker from whatever Suhyeok was attempting. “Hmm is it going on a date with you?”
The taller boy shook his head. “Not exactly, but I think…” Suhyeok paused to press a small kiss on the tip of Cheongsan’s knuckles. “…after we clean up and then talk about how we both actually feel…and… after we discuss our personal issues and, you know, getting to know each other more…”
“Um- and oh! After you feed me some more of your mom’s chicken later and then hmm, I think that’s how I might forgive you. But that’s only going to happen if you’ll be my boyfriend first.” Suhyeok flashed a cheeky grin. “Would you like to be my boyfriend Cheongsan?” He whispered in a breathy manner.
In a loss for words and deeply in love, Cheongsan could only tear up again as he pressed his forehead against Suhyeok’s. “God, yes! of course Suhyeok.”
“Finally… but anyway, let’s get me some more of that Cheongsan’s Chicken before I end up biting you.”
Cheongsan burst into unrestrained laughter again, the name of the restaurant sounding a bit better now coming from Suhyeok as the rain washed away all the worries that lingered in his mind.