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Lyrical Abstraction

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Sleep apparently refused to be Aoi’s friend while the duel quirk user was sitting in the seat beside her bed. And maybe even worse was the fact that Shoto clearly knew that she was awake and just apparently ignoring him. It simply came down to who would first break the silence?

“Do you hate me?” It was Todoroki who broke the silence after easily an hour with the two in the tense room.

“No,” She answered simply. It was true. She wished she could hate the hero. But he was not his father, nor was he his brother. Did she hate him? No. She hated his family, but she did not directly hate him on his own. Silence fell over the room once again after her reply. But still once again the silence did not last.

“Then why do you seem so uncomfortable?” He had asked. Damn hero and his watchful eyes and overbearing feelings to help people.

“Did Midoriya ever mention that I had a run in with your father once?” She asked hoping that would be more than enough of an explanation. Surely he could understand how people who did not like his father may very well not like him.

“He did. But nothing in the story informed me that you were unhappy with me,” She was not sure if he was being stupid or a smart ass. But one look at that clueless face of his told her that he honestly did not understand. Well it seemed the rumors that the man was a little stunted in social interactions was more accurate than she could have ever thought.

“That's because it is not you that I do not like. It's your father and brother who I hate,” She tried to whisper the brother part as she turned her gaze away from him. But in the silence of the hospital room apparently she could have been yelling it since there was no way he missed it.

“You know Natsuo?” That had the woman look back at the man with an arched brow. Oh, was that the name of the other Todoroki son?

“Not that brother,” she said once again looking ahead of her at the wall she was facing as she kept her back to the man. She did not want to see his face. She did not want to see how he was reacting. She could feel her eyes stinging at the mere thought of the man. For a solid minute maybe two the silence in the room was heavy before Todoroki spoke up.

“You knew Touya?” Todoroki finally asked, breaking the heavy silence as she laid there struggling to keep herself from bursting into tears.

“Touya? No. But I knew Dabi,” She answered simply, unable to keep her voice from wavering. And once again a heavy silence fell over the room as it felt like the temperature was quickly dropping. Was that Shoto’s doing? She was not sure nor was she about to ask.

“Did he hurt you?” She wanted to say yes. Yes, Dabi hurt her. He left her, he abandoned her. He was supposed to protect her and instead he had left her all alone in this crappy world. She no longer had his protection. He had to know that it would be dangerous for her with him gone. But not even just that, he had never told her. He never clued her into his own suffering. He never asked for her help. But then again she knew he would never accept it even if she offered. After all, what good was a quirkless loser? But she could not bring herself to voice such thoughts as she struggled to contain the soft sob that escaped her lips in the silent room.

“What did he do?” A low and dark tone came from behind her as she felt the temperature in the room quickly growing colder and colder. And yet she welcomed it. She wanted to feel numb as she struggled to take a breath.

“It is not what you think. I owe him my life,” She said softly, struggling to not let a sob break up her words. Her eyes now clenched tightly closed as if that could somehow magically keep the tears from escaping down her face. That answer seemed to mellow out the temperature in the room. She wished Shoto would just leave. She wanted nothing more than to just cry her eyes out once again, as she had all those days ago now. She had never told anyone about this after the war. After all, having connections to such villains like Dabi could have found her arrested even if she never once touched foot on any of those battle fields. But she had more than once put Dabi up in her home to keep him safe. She had aided and hid a very dangerous villain at the time. It did not matter if she was still a kid at the time.

But at least Todoroki stopped asking questions, allowing the woman to struggle on her own to calm and contain her emotions. She needed to wait till she was alone so she could have her meltdown. She refused to look any more weak and useless than she already was in front of this man. This hero.

At least Todoroki took the hint that she had no desire to talk about this subject any more. No more questions came even though she was sure that the man had more. But maybe realizing he made her cry had been enough to put off the need to ask more questions now. Aoi did not care as she laid there, her back turned to the man as a part of her wished that those villains would have just killed her. End this suffering. Maybe in her next life fate would be a little more kind. Maybe she would be born with a quirk?

She knew these thoughts were dangerous. The heavy cloud of depression had returned, though it's not like it had ever disappeared in the last two weeks. She kind of wished her body was still broken. Being high on pain med's had been a wonderful way to numb not just her physical pain but the mental pain as well. But she knew turning to drugs of any kind was a death wish in its own way. She has seen what drug abuse does to those living on the streets. And she would suffer the same fate if she was not careful. And yet on days like today she wondered what she had to lose. So what if she died. No one cared.

No. That was no longer true. Midoriya made it very clear that he had worried for her. If she had been killed by those villian's what would he have done? He clearly would have been upset. But would it have been because of guilt? Would he have felt responsible? Would he have blamed himself? Would he have missed her? Would he have seen her as just some sorry victim? Or did he see her as a friend in danger? A part of her wanted to say she was just a simple victim and Deku was doing his job and nothing more. He he not been a hero surely he would never have come for her. He would have done the same thing no matter who she was to him. But still what was she to the man?

So many questions and yet she was not sure she wanted the answers to any of them. Ignorance is bliss after all. It was easier for her to stand back and simply enjoy the man’s friendship than risk anything else. She still tried to tell herself if had been nothing more than a stupid crush. The man was walking eye candy after all. He turned heads whether he was dressed as Deku or in some of those ridiculous hero merch clothes. He could have anyone. A fellow hero who would have the strength to stand beside him, a model with the beauty to rival anyone. Or even someone with a quirk that could complement his own had that ever been something to cross the man’s mind. But between having a friend like Todoroki and Midoriya's own personal attitude she doubted that would ever be a reason the man dated or married a woman. But still what could she offer him? Aside from warming his bed and being a little light entertainment if he wished? Though once again the man clearly did not seem to be that way. But that still left her with the curiosity of why would he ever bother to look her way.

She clearly had issues, the depression and mental illness's aside. She was rude to him. She had trust issues and was just overall not someone everyone got along with. How exactly did Midoriya put up with her? Even though she had tried from day one to put a wall up between herself and that man she still could not forget how she told him some stories from her childhood. Like the fact her parents had disowned her. Dabi knew that story but no one else did before Midoriya.

At some point she had been graced with being able to fall asleep once again. Was this likely going to completely fuck up her sleep schedule? Yes. Did she care at the moment? No. After all Aoi was doubtful she still had a job any more. All she cared about at that time was sleeping. Todoroki never spoke to her again even before she drifted off to sleep. He never woke her either, allowing her to sleep in peace. Or maybe the man was suffering his own inner turmoil? Aoi would never know. But she was thankful for not being disturbed, though she would probably never actually thank him.

Soft voices and warm smells filled her senses as she found herself slowly blinking her eyes. White walls met her gaze. And yet it was not just the smell of heavy cleaning chemicals that filled her nose. Slowly and still rather carefully she rolled over only for the hushed noises to fall silent as two sets of eyes whipped over to look at her.

“Oh I hope we were not too loud and woke you,?” Midoriya asked, looking guilty all of a sudden more like he had started running around and yelling his head off instead of sitting there talking quietly with his friend and fellow coworker.

“Not at all,” She said softly before slowly pushing herself up to sit in the bed.

“What smells so good?” She asked just in time for her stomach to let out a growl of complaints for her lack of solid foods in the last almost two weeks.

That question or maybe the sound of her stomach alone had a wide smile pull at the green haired man’s face. Which now looked a tiny bit better than the last time she saw him. The bag’s under his eyes not nearly as bad, his hair was now freshly washed and looked almost fluffed up atop of that head of his. Now also sporting clean clothes as well he over all looked much better than she could ever recall him looking over the last few days.

“I stopped and grabbed us all some food. I hope you like it. I was not completely sure what to get you,” He almost looked nervous as he offered her a to-go container that had remained untouched. And although it was not nearly as warm as the container had once been it was still far from being completely cold. Peeling the lid off of the top she looked into the container to notice it was some kitsune udon. The aroma was heaven and once again her stomach let out a growl which just had her glaring down at her own traitorous gut. It was not like this was the first time she had gone far too long without a solid good meal.

“Thanks it smells delicious,” She called her thanks before happily digging into the meal. Yep a little on the cool side for a soup. But it still tasted delicious. And she had eaten far worse meals than a lukewarm soup. Keeping her head down she tried to pay the two men no attention, only looking into her own little bowl of food. She had hoped they would go back to talking, but whether it was a subject they did not want her to hear or the conversation had already been forgotten. She assumed the first was the most likely option.

Aoi was about half way through her meal before she finally shot Midoriya a glare as she had noticed him squirming out of the corner of her eye. Either he had ants in his pants or something was clearly on his mind.

“What’s gotten under your skin?” She asked bluntly between mouthfuls of delicious noodles and broth. She did not even care as she made a rather loud slurping noise. Manners did not matter as much as stuffing her face did.

“Uhm well the nurse said that you should be clear to leave tomorrow. But Uhm well,” he was stalling, pausing, apparently trying to figure out what to say next.

“Spit it out Midoriya,” she jabbed quickly, better another mouthful as she watched the man squirm in his seat.

“Well with what has all happened, and the fact that your place is not safe we both agreed that finding you somewhere safe is a top priority. As well as being closely watched. It was suggested you go into protective services. But I did not think you would like that very much,” at the mention of protective services she had tensed up. That sounded far too much like being dragged to a foster parent or group home. Those were never good times in her experience. And apparently the hero took in this suspected reaction. He would also never admit it but Izuku had not liked that idea either so he was quick to continue, “but it was discussed to maybe not be the best idea. So instead it was decided for you to stay somewhere safe and well guarded under hero protection. Not officers. So uhm it was arranged for a private apartment to be used. One where there was top notch security and multiple hero’s. You will move in with me.”

Well that was not what she expected as a reply from the man. She could feel her jaw go lax, the noodles she had been about to slurp up falling from her lips and back into the container causing the liquid to softly splash her hands that were wrapped around the styrofoam container. Had she heard that right? No surely she had been hearing things. But as she sat there for a moment staring wide eyed and slack jawed, there were no ‘just joking’ words from his mouth. No he was being serious. Well fuck.

“What?” Was the only word she could force out of her mouth as it felt like her mind had stopped working. She simply watched poor Midoriya squirm even more under her gaze now.

“We have a two bedroom apartment on the top floor. I know a few hero’s live in the building as well. It has a secret floor which will be the one we will live on. Around the clock security, It will be nice and big so that you can have as much space as possible. The agency will also help you find a new apartment after, or you can go back to your old one though I would not suggest it. If you were attacked there once it could encourage more break ins in the future,” Izuku was now rambling but Aoi just let him as she at least attempted to hear what he was saying but at the same time she was barely comprehending what he was saying.

“Midoriya I think you have lost her,” Shoto said softly after a moment of noticing the woman was just staring wide eyed at the green haired man. Hearing his friend's soft voice Midoriya paused in his rambling to look over at the duel quirk user and then back at her seeing that Aoi had not even started eating again. She was just sitting there still holding her take out container and staring at him. She was barely blinking her eyes even.

“Oh uhm Sugahara?” Midoriya called out softly as if he was talking to a scared kitten that may take off at any sudden noise. And to be honest the assumption was not far off. There was a part of her mind that was screaming to run. That she was about to lose her freedom. He may have said this was not witness protection but it was. In a sense it was the same thing. She would be under house arrest unable to do as she pleased.

“What about my job?” She asked softly even though she was pretty sure she had already lost it but still she wanted to know for sure if she was about to lose all and any freedom she thought she had up till now.

“Uhm well I am not sure. But the agency will support you until you can find a new job once things have settled down and everyone has been arrested with the case,” Midoriya said, sounding happy with that idea. But Aoi did not like it. No, that would mean his agency owned her. She would owe them for the money, the housing, and well everything. She may as well attach a collar to her neck with a tag that says government owned. Once again panic was quickly sinking in. This could not be happening.

“Uh, it's okay Midoriya. I am happy for the offer but I can not do that. I will be fine. Don’t worry,” Aoi said simply trying not to let her panic show. She would rather be on the streets than locked up and stuck with a hero glued to her side even if said hero would be Deku. But it still seemed the man was able to pick up on her uneasiness.

“It’s okay. It's part of a hero's job. And as long as Arakawa Shinta and his boss are at large you are in a lot of danger. We can not possibly leave you unprotected,” Was a polite way of saying she did not have a choice it seemed. It seemed she would most likely be dragged with the man even if she did not want to. Suddenly her food no longer tasted so good on her tongue as she found herself putting the take-out container down beside her bed. Otherwise she feared it could get thrown across the room or at the hero’s if her anger flared any more.