Chapter Text
The skies were as dark as the day she died.
The High Lord of the Night Court stood upon the lime grass hill behind the Town House, a circle of bluebells gathered around the marble headstone.
LILAH VEGA - THE MORNING STAR
died defending her High Lady and Princess.
Shadows swarmed around the grave, enough of an alert that his Shadowsinger was nearing him. Azriel always gave him that respect of knowing that he wasn't alone, that his cries did not go unheard. Cassian would occasionally drop a red carnation at Lilah's grave whenever he made the rounds to his mother and little sister's grave. Cassian had only ever met Lilah once, but it was enough for him to drop a flower by her grave every now and then.
For Azriel, it must've been hard for him. He'd never met the girl. He'd seen her around Velaris but they'd never once spoken. They were both as shy as each other. Still, Azriel would join him whenever he asked for company.
"I never asked," Azriel's voice was deeper when he spoke softly. "Why do they call her the Morning Star?"
Rhysand felt a smile tug on his lips as he remembered her light, a tear slipping down his chin. "She was an orphan from Cretea, one of the Seraphim but her mother was of Dawn Court so Lilah traveled to Prythian in hopes of learning of her lineage." Rhysand frowned, clasping his hands behind his back. "I don't know the details, only that she told me that what she found wasn't exactly what she'd hoped to hear. She was upset with what she'd learned and fled north until she landed in Night Court amidst Starfall. That's when I met her. She was crying, right here on this hill, watching the stars fall. She'd lifted her palm and cast a tiny star of her own and let it fly with the rest." Rhysand looked to Azriel, watching as his Shadowsinger's gaze was fixed on the grave before him. "Every morning, she'd come to this hill and cast a star into the dawning sky."
Azriel was silent for a while before he drew a breath. "A beautiful soul."
Rhysand put a hand on his brother's shoulder, a gesture he used when he planned to part ways. He'd mourned his five minutes that he'd promised himself. Five minutes -- no more, no less. He made it to the base of the hill, sending a thought down the bond to his mate, when he realised that Azriel still remained upon the hill.
He only stayed long enough to watch as his Shadowsinger crouched before the grave and began to hum a sorrowful lament.
☪
Azriel's finger gently grazed over the bluebells, his cobalt siphons bleeding light over the Seraphim's grave. Her tale was sad, much like the tale of his own life. He'd never told Rhysand the truth as to why he joined him upon the hill, yet stayed much longer after.
The first time he'd ever come here, he plucked a fallen leaf from the headstone and he'd felt it...the charge, the power from the stone itself. At first, he thought nothing of it but every time he touched the stone where her name was embedded, he felt it, like a chord being struck in his heart.
He knew why, of course. Cauldron, he'd known from the minute he'd laid eyes on the girl. His shadows swarmed her grave, flooding the hill as if they were responding to her ethereal ghost.
But she was not buried here, Azriel reminded himself.
They never did find her body.
Tamlin's father had returned the heads of Rhys' mother and sister but Lilah...she was still an enigma.
"Hey, Lilah." Azriel began, praying his shadows would inform him if anyone was nearby to overhear--especially Cass. "You don't know me, so I thought I'd tell you about myself. You know, like a lost soul making a wish to a shooting star. You being the morning star, and all." He sniggered to himself, shaking his head in disbelief that he was talking to a grave. "I know what it's like to be the outsider within you're own family and sometimes I wonder what it is that you learnt in Dawn."
Azriel swallowed, lifting his gaze to the sun struggling to break between the charcoal clouds. His shadows curled around his ear, 'you're looking in the wrong place.'
Azriel furrowed his brow. He wasn't looking for anything, but still his shadows hissed those same words again and again.
He ignored them.
"Rhys blames himself for your death." He continued, as if the bluebells were listening in her stead. "Sometimes I blame myself too. That I never got to know you. I never even said hello let alone goodbye--though i don't believe I deserved a goodbye." Azriel rocked on his feet, rubbing his eyes with his thumbs. "I stayed away because I knew you were my mate. I stayed away because I was a coward and now I'm paying the price. The least I can do for you Lilah, is honour you."
'Wrong place.' His shadows hissed again.
"Lilah." Azriel sniffled. "They say to lose your mate is to drive you mad. What if I'm wrong?"
'Wrong question.'
Wrong question?
Azriel stood up straight and ground his teeth. "Where are you Lilah? I just want to bring you back home, where you belong."
His shadows hissed a laugh, then gave one word that would haunt him for nights to come.
'Autumn.'