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Vive Le Scribelution

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“All right, Mrs. Nelson. Let’s see how those dilating drops are cooking.” The ophthalmologist ducked into the examination room and shone his ophthalmoscope lamp at his patient’s eyes.

Odd. Both of her pupils constricted briskly to light, despite not one but two prior rounds of dilating drops. Her conjunctivae, on the other hand, were remarkably clear, much more so than he remembered from his initial examination of her.

“Jonathan, bring me a new bottle of dilating drops,” the ophthalmologist barked, sticking a hand out behind him. “I suspect this bottle is defective.”

“Oh, I think you’ll find that no dilating drops will work for you anymore,” Jonathan called out from behind him. His voice sounded different from usual - harsher, less deferential.

“Jonathan?” The ophthalmologist spun around on his rolling chair.

“You see,” Jonathan continued, striding into the room and deftly picking up the bottle of drops, “the Scribe Resistance has replaced all dilation drops with THIS!” He dramatically ripped the false label off the bottle, revealing its true contents.

The ophthalmologist gasped. “Visine? Nooooooooo!”

“And so it begins,” Jonathan cackled. “There will be no retinal exams for you today - or any day, until our demands are met. Vive le scribelution!"