It’s amazing, isn’t it? The beauty that can blossom from such ugly beginnings.
Most of the time, it feels like it’s always been this way, as though you and I were always so in love. But, sometimes, when I close my eyes and concentrate, I can still remember. The confusion, the inexplicable rage, that feeling of being cornered.
The intent to kill you where you stood.
And, of course, the guilt that fell upon me afterward. I can only assume it was the bog fever that had me so hostile and delusional, for no matter how many times I replay that moment in my mind, I can never find an answer to why .
Yet, here we are, with all the stars in all the heavens smiling upon us, and the moon shining its lover’s spotlight upon us. I feel our hearts beating in time, something so natural that I can’t imagine any other way it could have ever been. I smell you as you press close, the herbal strength and floral sweetness that seem so at odds, and yet, are perfect together...and so perfectly you. The way you nuzzle into my neck, I know, is your silent plea for me to tighten my arms around you. And so I do, and I hear the breathy, contented sigh that escapes you.
And though the fire keeps the mountain’s cold at bay, the real heat comes from between us. Though I have you in my arms, I need to touch you more. I’m desperate to feel you and be felt by you, to taste you and be tasted by you. Never in my life have I felt this kind of passion, this kind of need flowing through my veins. My heart races and I feel like my blood has turned into fire.
But I see the peaceful smile on your lips, hear the soft and steady rhythm of your breathing, and slowly I feel the fire in my veins diminish to steady embers. My fingers caress your hair, and never have I been so glad to be without my plated gauntlets. As I kiss the top of your head, you giggle and coo, and you meet my gaze with yours.
Goddess, those eyes. So deep, and pure and vibrant, it’s almost as though Helena herself captured the ocean and gifted it to you on your birth. Though I long to stare into them forever, I cannot bring myself to do so, for every time I look into your eyes I fear I risk drowning in them
So I close my eyes, and lean in closer. Your lips are softer than I imagined, and as warm as the embers in my heart. My heart skips, my breath hitches, and I feel a tingle of electricity course through my body
I’ve felt the needed calm after the high of battle. I’ve felt the relaxation that comes with a glass of whiskey. I’ve even felt the restful embrace of a long night’s sleep. But, never in my life, have I felt at peace , until here and now. I never realized how much I was missing, and it never occurred to me how much it would mean.
As I look to the stars, I don’t think I’ve ever truly appreciated their beauty. For sure, I knew they were pretty to gaze upon, but in this moment, they look different. They are brighter, more vibrant, more alive as they twinkle. I realize now how beautiful this life and world can truly be, and I am grateful in a way I’ve never been. Grateful to breath, and see, and feel…
Grateful to love.
“I don’t feel like I deserve this,” you confess, and I can hear the doubt in your voice.
But, I know this isn’t true at all. I know that you deserve whatever happiness comes into your life, and if my being part of your life makes you happy, then you deserve me. You deserve the world, Gwen. And so I tell you this.
Your lips curl up in that soft, loving smile I’m beginning to recognize, and I feel the hot blush on your cheeks with my palm. “Then I guess I already have it, don’t I?”
My Gods, you always did know what to say to make me smile.
Once again do our lips meet, the kiss every bit as warm and electric as the first. We linger longer, our lips becoming more eager as they explore. But though I feel the fire reigniting in my veins, we break the kiss.
You gift me with you gaze once again, and I know we silently agree that for now, at least, we are content to simply be in the moment. I avert my gaze to the ground--I have no choice. I could almost feel myself beginning to drown in your eyes, my very soul feels like it’s beginning to melt away. Your eyes, the greatest gift to the world Goddess Helena could have ever granted us. Let it be known, that even if you had never cast your spell upon me, nothing would have ever changed.
Because it was your eyes that bewitched me more than any spell could have.