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Published:
2021-10-25
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1,068
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1/1
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Damn Twighlight.

Summary:

Vincent, Gabriel, Able and D go to a bar and complain about Twighlight.

Work Text:

DAMN YOU TWILIGHT!!
FF7, Van Hellsing, Vampire hunter D, Trinity blood.
2011.

"This sucks," grumbled Gabe as he took a swig of the beer he had ordered. Able sat across from him eyeing the beer in front of him. "I know, but did you have to drag me along to the bar? I'm sure the other two wouldn't mind keeping you company." Gabe slammed down the glass startling his friend. "Hell no! Those two 'vampires' are not going to sit here without some back up."
"Who you calling a vampire?" Said a voice behind him. Turning around two men in capes stood there. "Vin, D, were the hell were you?"
"It's those damn twilight girls, they wanted an autograph." They both sat down and ordered a bottle of wine. "Those girls are crazy... did one of them ask which team you’re on yet?" Asked Able. Vincent looked over at D and they nodded Gabe grinned "Well?"
"Jake." said Vin.
"Ed." said D.
There was a loud laugh from Gabe as he slammed his fist on the table. "Dear god help us, We'll have so many girls after us we'll have to beat them off with a stick." D looked at him and snickered. "I already have that problem." Gabe ordered another round as the waiter came to the table with the bottle of wine and two glasses.
"You know what that movie destroys everything that vampires are supposed to be." Able said.
"Don't I know it, what the hell is with the diamond skin?" asked Gabe.
"Oh yea, hey let's make the reason they can't go out in sunlight is because they'll put someone blind... I like it better when they burst into flames." D grumbled.
"The werewolves are no better, they got turned into wimps." Able whispered over his beer at him.
"HEY!!" Yelled Gabe and Vincent. Able laughed this time glad that he had gotten a response from the two. "I don't know why you two are gripping you're nether a werewolf or a vampire." said D. Vincent looked over at Able, "Actually he's still a vampire, I'm just a little of everything."
"At least no one's chasing after you when you're a demon." said Gabe.
"...."
"Oh god, they do that too!" Gabe put his head into his hands and shook it. “I blame Hell boy for that.” The waiter came back with another mug of beer and Gabe quickly downed half of it. Able finished off his beer and pushed his glasses back up his nose. "Bad thing about it we can't scare them anymore." They all nodded. "I remember when all you had to do was just glare at the kids and they'd go running to their mothers." Vincent said flexing his gold clawed hand. Gabe looked over at the other three and smiled. "You guys had the girls running from you before the movies... Why's that?"
"We're monsters!!" they yelled. "You at least can pass as human." said D.
"What about Vincent?"
"I was human..." Gabe let out a laugh remembering the time he spent as a werewolf. D noticed something at the bar but turned back to the rest of the group. “Um, guys are the tweens the only thing you have to worry about?” Vincent and Able looked at each other before admitting that some of the moms had chased them as well. Gabe was downing the last of his beer when he passed out onto the table sending a few of the others beers falling to the floor. “I think we should get out of here.” Able and Vincent had to carry Gabe as D made a path to the door. Pushing on the metal bar to open it there was a sudden stop. “Hey, what’s the hold up?”
“The door is locked…” You know that feeling when something bad is about to happen…
There was a loud shriek from Able as three women grabbed his arms pulling him away from the others. “Ladies please! I’m a man of god!! Show some mercy!!!” he was yelling as a few of them tried to kiss him. Vincent happened to disappear next but soon D spotted him. A group of younger women had surrounded him when he shifted into Gillian beast. They were scratching behind his ears and rubbing this stomach. Where the hell was Gabe? D tried to find him with no luck, then he was attacked.

Stumbling out the door the four were covered in kiss marks and pieces of their clothes were missing. Able had stepped on his glasses when one of the girls knocked them off. “You know for once I’d like to WALK out of a bar.” D was missing his hat, Vincent had more rips in his cape and a few chunks of hair had been cut from the ends. Gabe walked out taking out the dents in his hat before putting it on his head. “I feel like singing, you guys want to join me?” They all gave him a look before shrugging their shoulders. “Lead the way, we may as well act like a bunch of drunks.”

It was a sight to see the four walking down the street Gabe with his arm around Able’s shoulders singing loudly. “FUCK YOU I’M DRUNK, POUR MY BEER DOWN THE SINK I’VE GOT MORE IN THE TRUCK!” just as they got half way down the street they heard the doors of the bar slam open. “There they are girls!” It was the gang of women that attacked them earlier. Stopping in their tracks they slowly turned seeing them. “I think it’s time to RUN!!” Yelled Able taking off down the street and leaving them behind. “Damn, he knows how to run.” The others took off after him trying to keep ahead of the women. “You know what Gabe…” panted Vincent.
“What?”
“The next time you ask us to have a drink, don’t bother knocking on my coffin!”

NOTE FROM THE WRITER-
Thanks for reading the story, I’m not a big fan of the twilight books. But to each their own feddish I guess. Vampire lover or Werewolf lover I just wrote this story to point out the trouble that the other charters have to go through now. (I feel sorry If this type of thing happens to anyone cosplaying.) Any who, take it easy on those undead beasties out there on Halloween or at the cons. ,lml