Chapter Text
Iwaizumi has known Oikawa Tooru since they were 6, and even at that young age, Oikawa was annoying.
He was always talking, literally always. The other kids in class complained when they had to sit next to him, because he talked through the lessions. Snarky comments, even at age six. Iwaizumi had watched from afar, silently glad that he didn’t have to sit next to that kid. Until the teacher moved Oikawa again.
Right next to Iwaizumi.
"Listen," he said before Oikawa had even sat down. "I’m not going to put up with your talking, so shut it."
"Whatever you say Iwa-chan," the little ass had replied, sitting down. "Don’t you think the teacher looks like he’s going bald?"
Iwaizumi groaned and Oikawa grinned and that was the start of their “friendship.”
The got into volleyball a couple years later, although their elementary school didn’t have a team. Mostly they practiced after school, tossing the ball back and forth to each other. Oikawa was better than him, but he also worked harder. Iwaizumi didn’t care that much. He mostly did it for the occasional chance to smack Oikawa in the face with a ball. That was a satisfiying feeling.
"Hey Iwa-chan," Oikawa said one day as they were tossing in the little park near Iwaizumi’s house.
"What?"
"Have you thought of playing volleyball next year? You know, when we actually get to a school with a team." Oikawa wouldn’t meet his eye.
"Not really," he replied with a shrug.
"You should," Oikawa said, steadfastly looking at the ball sailing between them still. "You’re not bad at it."
He snorted and caught the ball on the next toss. ”Was that a compliment Trashikawa?” he teased.
Oikawa flushed. ”Of course not! Like I would ever compliment you. Stupid, stupid Iwa-chan! Give back my ball!”
Iwaizumi laughed and ran away, looking over his shoulder to see the other chasing him. They ran around, startling some smaller kids and just generally being nuisances until Iwaizumi fell to the ground, panting.
"You win Trashikawa," he said between gasping breaths. He tossed the ball back to his friend, his only friend if he were honest, who was standing above him smiling. The sun was right behind his head, giving him a sort of halo like he was an angel, and Iwaizumi almost laughed out loud at that.
"Of course I won," Oikawa was bragging as he laid down beside Iwaizumi. "I’m the great Oikawa!"
Iwaizumi elbowed him in the side. ”Don’t be an ass.”
Oikawa turned to look at him and fake-gasped. ”Iwa-chan, what a potty mouth! If only your mother knew…”
"Don’t you dare tell her," he warned back.
"I wouldn’t," Oikawa replied in a moment of seriousness. "Friends don’t rat out friends, you know."
Iwaizumi didn’t know what to say to that, so he stayed silent. And for once, Oikawa didn’t try to drag a response out of him, or keep up a conversation. In fact, he didn’t talk at all. He just smiled slightly and turned to look at the sky, his head leaning toward Hajime.
The next time Iwaizumi witnessed a completely silent Oikawa was on the walk home of the day when he almost hit Kageyama.
They usually walked home together, had done so every day for the 3 years of junior high. Each day Oikawa had pestered Iwaizumi with questions (“So Iwa-chan, how was your day?”- like they weren’t in the same class) or a rehashing of pratice that day (“You really need to work more on your receives Iwa-chan.” To which the usual response was a smack on the head.)
But today was different. Hajime had known something was eating at Oikawa but had attributed it to nerves about entrance exams for next year. Oikawa talked a lot, but was annoyingly tight-lipped about the things that truly mattered. Iwaizumi thought it was a defense mechanism, but he was messed up enough himself to not bother trying to fix Oikawa. He never pried, figuring Oikawa would either figure out a solution or it would cease being a problem.
Except for this time. When he had caught Oikawa about to punch Kageyama. No joke. Hajime had never seen his friend like that, and they had known each other for years. Absentmindedly he wondered if you could ever actually know someone, or if part of them would always remain a mystery.
Right now, for instance, Oikawa was a mystery. Silent and looking at everything and anything but Iwaizumi. At halfway through the walk, Hajime sighed and stopped in his tracks. Oikawa continued on for a few more steps, then stopped and turned.
"Iwaizumi?" he questioned, still not looking Hajime in the eyes. It was the first word he’d said since Hajime had hit him on the head.
For some reason, this made Iwaizumi irrationally angry. ”Well?” he questioned. ”Haven’t you got anything to say for yourself?”
Oikawa was silent again, and it was really starting to unnerve Iwaizumi. The other boy looked at the ground and scuffed his trainer back and forth for a moment before sighing. ”No,” he replied quietly. ”Not really.”
That took the wind out of Iwaizumi’s sails. Suddenly he wasn’t angry anymore, just confused and tired. ”Okay,” he said, because he felt he had to say something.
"Iwaizumi?" Oikawa asked so quietly that it almost flew away with the wind. He was still looking at the ground. "Are you going to tell my parents? Or the coach?"
At that, Iwaizumi couldn’t help a little smile from crossing his face. ”Don’t be stupid Trashikawa,” he said, starting to walk again. ”Friends don’t rat out friends.”
Oikawa’s head popped up at that, and he grinned, jogging a little to catch up with Iwaizumi. They walked home with Oikawa’s usual chatter filling the space between them.
There’s not as big a gap between silences this time, but it’s still about three years. They had just lost to Shiratorizawa- again. Their dreams of nationals were over, for the last time. Oikawa fell to the court, struggling not to let his tears fall. Iwaizumi didn’t think before placing an hand on his back.
"Come on," he said quietly. He hoped it was soothing, but he had never been really good at soothing. Still, Oikawa stood and walked to the line, hands clenched at his sides. Iwaizumi supposed it was something, but could feel the silence that was to come.
Later, at the dinner the coach had treated them to, Oikawa cracked a few jokes, smiled here and there, and just generally tried to raise the team spirit- as much as it could be raised. Iwaizumi, who was sitting next to him, was the only one who could see the way his clenched hand shook under the table.
There was silence on the way home, just like Iwaizumi knew there would be. As soon as the others got off the bus and said their goodbyes, Oikawa clammed up. They walked home together, and Iwaizumi didn’t try to say something, because what could he say?
It’s okay.- but it wasn’t.
We tried our best.- but it wasn’t enough.
You’re good enough Tooru. -but it wouldn’t help.
But he had to say something.
He opened his mouth and choked out a sound. ”I-“
"Don’t bother, Iwaizumi," Oikawa interrupted, staring straight ahead. "There’s nothing you can say to fix this."
And Hajime figured that for once, Oikawa was right and made sense, so he shut his mouth and let the silence stretch between them.
As graduation drew nearer and nearer, Iwazumi began to noice something worrying- Oikawa was becoming more and more withdrawn.
No one else seemed to notice, and maybe if they weren’t practically attached at the hip, Iwaizumi wouldn’t have noticed either. But instead of talking to everyone, his friend would sometimes just sit by himself and look out the window. Or sometimes, when walking home, Oikawa would trail off in the middle of a sentence, with no sign of picking it back up.
"You okay Oikawa?" Iwaizumi asked one day, when his friend had done exactly that on the way home.
"Hmmmm? Oh, I’m fine. Why, are you worried Iwa-chan?" His grin was sharp but not as sharp as it normally was.
Still, Iwaizumi scoffed. ”Like I’d waste my time worrying about you, Assikawa.”
"Oh so meeeeeeeeeean Iwa-chan," Oikawa drawled in that way of his. It was almost normal.
Almost.
Iwaizumi stopped in the middle of the path. ”No but really. You know you can tell me… whatever it is.” It should go without saying, but sometimes Oikawa needed to be reminded of the little things.
Oikawa had stopped and turned to look at him, and was now giving him a confused stare. ”It’s nothing. Why do you care so much anyway?”
If Iwaizumi was a different person, his jaw might have dropped. But being who he was, Iwaizumi felt a hot burst of anger go through him. Before he knew it, he had closed the distance between them, and had a fist in the front of Oikawa’s uniform, lifting him off the ground slightly.
"Dumbass!" he roared, scaring a bird into flight from a nearby tree. "Of course I care! You’re my best friend, why wouldn’t I care about whatever’s bothering you?!"
The silence stretched between them, longer than the one ever before. Iwaizumi was breathing hard for some reason, and he set Oikawa down gently. The other refused to meet his eyes, just took a half step back. It felt like an hour had passed, but Iwaizumi refused to break the silence. It was Oikawa’s turn to do that.
"We’re going to different universities," Oikawa said finally, so quiet Iwaizumi had almost missed it.
"You knew that Oikawa. We talked about it from the start," Iwaizumi replied, more confused than ever. Why was that bothering him now?
"Yes but I didn’t…" Oikawa trailed off, still refusing to meet his eyes. He seemed at a loss for words, which just made Iwaizumi more confused. "I didn’t know then that…"
"Spit it out Oikawa," Iwaizumi said, then winced. Perhaps that had come out a little harsh than he meant.
"Ididn’tknowthenthatIlovedyou," Oikawa said, bright red and rushed.
"You what?" Izumi asked, confused. He couldn’t possibly have understood that right.
Oikawa took a deep breath and looked up, staring into Iwaizumi’s eyes for the first time in what felt like forever. His eyes were wide, pupils blown, and he looked… afraid? Iwaizumi opened his mouth to say something but Oikawa beat him to it.
"I like you Hajime," he said steadily, then amended that to: "I love you, Hajime."
And whatever Iwaizumi Hajime had been expecting to hear that day, a love confession from his best friend was not on the list. The silence stretched between them, more tense than ever before. Iwaizumi didn’t know what to do.
He ran.
What followed was possibly the longest silence of his life, not to mention Oikawa’s life. Walk to school the next day, Iwaizumi was a mass of anxiety. What would he say to Oikawa? What would Oikawa say to him? He hadn’t even begun to figure out how he felt about the confession, let alone his own feelings about Oikawa. Hell, he didn’t even know if he liked boys!
But it turned out that Iwaizumi had nothing to worry about. Because Oikawa wasn’t in school that day. Or the day after. Or the day after.
On the fourth day of abscence, Iwaizumi was worried and had a stack of Oikawa’s homework to give to him. He’d put it off, naturally, because he still had no idea what he wanted to say. What he had to say.
Oikawa was his best friend, that much was obvious. Before the confession, Iwaizumi had known that even though they were going to different universities, he and Oikawa would stay as close as ever. Sure they wouldn’t live in the same city anymore. Sure, they wouldn’t see each other every day. But they’d Skype and text and nothing would change. That’s what he had told himself and Oikawa everyday while making their decisions.
But now? Now Iwaizumi had no idea how to feel. Something had to change now, because Oikawa had forced the hand. It would be easy, so easy to just let these final weeks go by and then head off to college and never talk to Oikawa ever again.
Even as he thought that, a shard of ice went through Iwaizumi’s gut. Never talk to Oikawa? Never hear him ramble on and on about aliens and volleyball and hear Iwa-chan said in that annoying voice? Never listen to Oikawa be silent and have to figure out what was wrong this time?
Iwaizumi might be confused, he might not know what to say, but he knew one thing- he could not lose Oikawa.
And the more he thought, the more he realized that Oikawa had always been there, in some way. From the very first, he’d been aware of Oikawa Tooru in ways he hadn’t been about anyone else, not even the girl he’d dated in junior high. And that said something
Iwaizumi didn’t know if what he felt for Oikawa was love, the way Oikawa felt for him. But he knew he cared about Oikawa, and that whatever he felt had the potential to be more. His feelings about his best friend had grown over the years, from anger and dislike, to tolerance and acceptance, to admiration and companionship. Who’s to say it couldn’t grow into something more?
So that Saturday, he made the trek to Oikawa’s house. His arms were stuffed with folders and books, but Iwaizumi was still deteremined, up until he reached the front door. He gulped, feeling his nerves buzz somewhere deep in his stomach. He took a deep breath. You can do this Hajime, he told himself, and reached up a hand to knock.
But he didn’t get to, because the door opened and their was Oikawa. He had darks circles under his eyes, his hair was a mess, and still in his pajamas, even those bottoms with the aliens (probably had been all week, since the confession). He also wasn’t looking at Iwaizumi but was yelling over his shoulder.
"I can’t believe you’re making me go to the convenience store," he complained. "I’m in mourning you know!"
"Mourning about what?" his mom yelled back, but neither Oikawa or Iwaizumi heard her, because the former had finally noticed that someone was at the door.
"Iwa-chan," Oikawa breathed, looking confused and breathless and perfect all at once.
"Hi," he replied awkwardly. "I um… I brought your homework." Stupid, stupid Hajime, he berated himself. What a stupid thing to say to the person you love.
Oikawa looked stunned into disbelief, which was entertaining but also slightly painful. ”Th… thanks.”
Another silence stretched between them, and it was almost painful.
"Look-" they started at the same time, then both clammed up.
"You go," Iwaizumi said, then kicked himself again. Why couldn’t he just tell him?
"Alright," Oikawa said nerviously. He wasn’t meeting Iwaizumi’s eyes, again. "So about the other day… I’m sorry."
"Ha?!" Smooth Hajime.
"I mean, I shouldn’t have sprung that confession on you like that, and I KNEW my feelings weren’t going to be returned but I couldn’t… I couldn’t let us graduate without telling you. Even though I knew you might never want to speak me again and- Iwa-chan!"
Oikawa gasped as Iwaizumi suddenly dropped everything he was holding, papers fluttering to the ground. ”Stupid Oikawa,” he said, and took two steps forward and then-
And then he was pressing his lips to Oikawa’s and even though the other’s lips were slack in shock and he clearly hadn’t brushed his teeth in a while and it was a little too wet, it was easily the most perfect kiss Iwaizumi had ever had.
He pulled back slowly, eyes opening carefully to catch Oikawa’s stunned expression. At some point his hands had come up and formed fists in Iwaizumi’s shirt and he seemed to be holding on for dear life. His mouth opened and closed like a fish, which shouldn’t have been attractive, but Iwaizumi was so in love that he didn’t even care.
Oikawa was silent, but this time, Iwaizumi knew exactly what that silence meant and what to say.
"Stupid Oikawa," he said, leaning forward and running his nose over Oikawa’s, and down his cheek. "Dumbass Toorus," he whispered, feeling the other’s breath hitch a bit. "Don’t you know I was to spend forever with you?"
Iwaizumi pulled away to see the other’s expression, a perfect mask of surprise. And then the brightest smile he’d ever seen crossed Oikawa’s face, and the silence was broken.
"What a confession Iwa-chan," he said in that sing-song voice. "Insulting me and everything."
But with the next kiss, Iwaizumi knew his best friend, his boyfriend, his forever wasn’t mad at all.