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Kinktober 2021

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Ed huffed his way up the stairwell, tottering from side to side with each step. His costume pulled at his skin, especially around his midsection, where his stomach barely fit under the foam padding pretending to be abs of steel. Sweat dripped from graying hair where the mask didn’t allow his skin to breathe, and his cape weighed on his shoulders like an anchor dragging him to the ground. And this was just the store-bought version, designed for comfort and vague approximation instead of stealth and protection. Honestly, he didn’t know how the real Batman did it.

But the real Batman got to wear what he wanted. Ed didn’t. For years his students, his co-workers, and especially Holly, his wife, had pestered him to dress as Batman for Halloween. Sure, from the neck up he saw a resemblance. He had the square jaw, the near-permanent hint of stubble, the lips constantly set in resting disappointment face. And, yes, his voice was a near-match for Batman’s, according to the few recordings the media had. If there was a Batman look-alike contest that only checked from the neck up, he’d be first place for sure. In public, Holly jokingly referred to it as “his superpower”. In private, she wasn’t joking, and she frequently pulled out her sexy Wonder Woman costume to take full advantage of it.

Below the neck, however he was a slightly-overweight middle-aged high school history teacher with two kids and a mortgage, and Batman probably wasn’t. He admitted, the costume did a decent job at covering his stomach and shaping his shoulders. He’d been getting compliments throughout the Halloween Dance about his (fake) figure, and Holly certainly gave him an appreciative eye when he left the house to chaperon the event. Ed expected tonight’s role-play would be much more intense than normal, and he’d been trying to calm his erection for hours.

Patrolling the school for pranksters let him think about Holly without running the risk of a student spotting his arousal, though he hadn’t accounted for how hard it would be to do the rounds in his ill-fitting outfit. With a sigh he hefted himself up the last stair, stepped out the door into the roof to check for trespassers…and nearly tripped over a girl dressed as Harley Quinn.

“Jesus Christmas, it’s the Bat!” She chucked a bottle of something at his face, and while he reeled from shock and pain she tackled him to the ground. Her hands pinned his wrists with surprising strength, and as he stared up at the manic eyes and intricate makeup, he started to think this was not just a girl in a costume. “Ha, finally gotcha! Thought you could sneak up on me by takin’ the stairs, didn’t you? Well, joke’s on you, I didn’t know it was a crime to trespass on a school zone after-hours and consume alcohol near impressionable minors and…hey, random question, am I sitting on a Bat-flashlight, or do you have a boner right now?”

Ed had never met a supervillain before. He, like anybody in Gotham, had imagined what he would do if he’d been captured, and all his heroic fantasies locked themselves away in the face of actual danger. He tried very, very hard to look her in the eye instead of down her pale white cleavage, and without a better idea he tried his angry teacher voice, the one he used for misbehaving students. “Get off.”

“Don’t mind if I do!” Harley shifted her weight and locked both of his hands under one of hers, and with one arm free she reached for the zipper at his crotch. “Long as I got you here and I’m not actually doin’ a crime and you’re not resistin’ and I’m too drunk to think about how dumb this is, hows about you and I celebrate All Hallows’ Eve by stickin’ this thing up my tall, hallowed sleeve?” She fished out his cock, still hard from his daydreams of Holly, and licked her lips. “Okay, Riddler’s gonna lose a mint in the ‘does Batman secretly have a micropenis’ poll, because wow.”

While she contorted her body to kick her brief shorts and briefer panties to the roof, he pictured Holly waiting for him. “You can’t do this! I have a wife!”

“Bats, we both know you don’t have a life,” she slurred, and while he tried to determine whether she ignored him or simply misheard, she settled her bare pussy onto his erection. “Oh, God, that feels good. I’m about to be the first villain to finally fuck the Bat. Or, second, after Catwoman. Third if you count that assassin chick. Or that time when Ivy…Bats, you’re kind of a slut.”

Ed’s body couldn’t summon the power to buck Harley off, and his dick twitched automatically when it sensed the wet hole an inch away. “Wait, please. I can’t cheat on her. If you’d—“

“Pfft, I know you’re not with Catwoman right now. Villains talk, ya know. Give up the story. And speaking of giving it up…” She sank onto him, surrounding his cock with the tightest grip in fifteen years. They moaned together, though he thought of his as a sob of defeat, and she set her feet on either side of his waist and bounced on his hips in a springy crouch. All of her upper body weight kept him pinned, and all of her lower body weight drove him balls-deep into the most dangerous pussy in Gotham. She hummed through pouty lips and her multicolored pigtails swung with the rhythm of her head, nodding away to a song of pleasure.

Despite his protests Ed’s body responded to the young woman using him. No matter how much he tried to close his eyes and picture Holly he couldn’t break away from the jiggling breasts packed into a shiny red and black vest, or the bare white lips stretching in and out along his length, or the lilting voice so much louder than his wife’s. He muttered to himself, saying her name over and over, and his imagination answered his prayers in the worst way possible. In his mind he saw Holly, faint wrinkles and all, dressed like Harley, tied to their headboard with rope and asking the Caped Crusader to punish her. A flood of unmet kinks rushed down his spine, and with a final gasp, “Holly!”, he blew his load inside Harley Quinn.

“Holy fuck is right!” Harley sat down and rubbed against his base, jerking her body with a nearly-simultaneous orgasm. She shouted a few expletives he hoped nobody else in the school heard, then wiped her brow with the back of her arm and grinned at him. “Whoops! Probably shoulda used some Bat-protection. We’ll get it right next time.”

“N-next time?”

“Uh, yeah. I got the Batman right where I want him, weakened in the afterglow and cuffed to a pipe.”

Ed tugged his arms back, and the tinny clink of metal on metal stabbed right into his brain.

“Aaaaand yoink!” Harley ripped the utility belt from his costume. “Huh. I remember this bein’ metal, not cheap plastic. This economy, am I right?” She tossed it away and raised her hips, letting his cum drip from her pussy onto his thigh. “No lock-pickin’ tonight. It’s just your dick, my holes, and a whole lotta spunk fillin’ me to the brim.”

“Please,” he tried one last time. “My wife.”

Harley gasped. “You wanna marry me? This is so sudden! But I guess you gotta do the honorable thing when you knock a gal up. Don’t worry, baby.” She slid down his body and lapped the semen from his cock. “I’ll make our honeymoon real, real special.”

And as she went down on him, bringing back an erection faster than he thought possible, he winced and tried to think of a way to explain the sex stains on his rental costume.