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[slightly less disgusted noise]

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“Do you have it, Varric?”

“Why, whatever are you talking about, Seeker?”

“You know exactly what I mean. Don’t make me say it.”

“Alas, numerous as my talents are, mind-reading is not among them.”

“For Andraste’s sake, I- the autograph! You promised me that if I gave you my copy of The Tale of the Champion, you would get Hawke to sign it for me. I know the two of you are in contact.”

“Oh, is that what you wanted me to do with it? I threw it away.”

You!-“

“Just kidding, Seeker. One autograph, as requested.”

“…” | CASSANDRA GREATLY APPROVES