Chapter Text
James was a year old and Albus was a new born when Ginny Weasley decided to leave them.
Harry had found her note a few days after Albus had been born; five to be exact. His heart broke as his eyes scan through her letter. The words run together as Harry’s eyes water but he gets the gist of it.
I can’t do this again……..I wasn’t meant to be a mother…….I love you Harry but I need to leave………shouldn’t have had kids so soon……..too soon after the war.
There was more, the letter was three scrolls long. She goes on about their life before the boys; how perfect everything was. How she wanted to travel, try out for Quidditch, and possibly take a cooking class; maybe go to a muggle university just to see what all the hype was about. It seems like she was trying to paint a pretty picture, to make her not look like the worst person Harry ever had the gall to know.
Because Harry wasn’t stupid; he could read between the lines. Ginny wanted Harry, but she didn’t want the boys.
His watery eyes drift to his bed and his heart clenches. Jamie is asleep in the middle; pillows tucked around him, his little hands clutching his blanket. Albus is in the bassinet next to the bed; one soft baby hand in his mouth as he gives little sucks, letting out the most adorable snores.
‘The loves of my life,’ Harry’s thought rings as if he had screamed it out loud. How could she leave those two precious angels? How could she walk away from the life she helped create and brought to this world? Harry didn’t care if she left him, he didn’t care if she has stopped loving him (though she claims that wasn’t it), but this he could never forgive her for.
He could never forgive the mother who abandoned her children.
She says over and over in her letter that she is too young; they both are. Harry might have cared about that two years ago; he had been terrified when Ginny had told him she was pregnant. The result of a broken condom and no protection spells.
But once he held Jamie, Harry knew he wanted nothing more than him. Though he was still terrified, it was overrun by the love and joy he got from having his son in his arms; and then Albus happened as well, another accident. Really, you think Harry would have learned the first time. But it happened, and though he was still overwhelmed with being a new dad, he cried tears of joy when he heard his son’s heartbeat.
Maybe it was his fault for not taking in Ginny’s feelings or reactions. Where he had been nothing but happy, she was resigned and miserable. Thinking back on it now she had been livid when she found out they were pregnant again.
Harry had said this was a sign that they were meant to be, and it was time to make her a proper Potter. He laughed and she had punched him; told him the only way to make her a Potter seemed to be to get pregnant.
He thought she was joking at the time but now when he thinks, he could hear the bitterness in her tone. Like she honestly believed Harry only wanted to marry her because of the kids. He is so glad he never got down on one knee for her.
Harry stares down at the letter and his hurt and tears are replaced by pure anger and hatred. Ginny is hurting his boys. Because yes, they are his, not hers. No one who can leave their children like this deserves to be called a parent.
He wants to scream at her, wants to tear this letter and set it on fire. But before he can Jamie lets out a small whine. Harry looks up and sees him stirring. Small hazel eyes flutter and he lets out a small, “Dada.” His lips wobble when he doesn’t see his father right away.
Dropping the letter, Harry stands, walking towards his baby. Finally James finds him and he gurgles, hands going up in a grabbing motion. Harry doesn’t hesitate to pick him up and clutch him to his chest. Jamie burrows into him and lets out a happy sigh.
Harry can’t think of Ginny right now. No, he has two kids to think about; two babies to be precise. He doesn’t let panic grip him, though it very well could. But no he can’t panic because it isn’t just him in this house.
He is a 21 year old dad with an infant and a newborn; but he is not allowed to panic.
+++
Hermione scribbles furiously and Harry winces as he feels his hand cramp for her. “Calm down, ‘Mione. You’re going to burn through the scroll if you continue with that.” She doesn’t slow but she does say, “I am getting this done today. She is going to sign this or Merlin, help me, I will strangle that ginger.” Her words come out in a growl and he shivers in fear a bit.
Maybe it had been a mistake to ask Hermione for help on this. He knew there was something about conflict of interest but no one was going to say anything; not to two people, both with an Order of Merlin, for you know, saving the wizarding world. He could have found another solicitor, but really there was no one else he trusted more.
It had been six months since Ginny had left. Six months since the entire Weasley clan had come to his house, a mixture of anger, sorrow, and fear in their eyes. Six months since he had told them that no, he was not going to keep them from seeing the boys; that no, he wasn’t going to look for Ginny, she had made her choice. Six months since Molly and Arthur apologized to him for their daughter; Molly was heartbroken, not understanding how her own child could do this to her family.
She claimed she had no idea. None of them had. Charlie had looked shocked when Harry had let them read the letter that had broken his heart. George and Bill were angry, both faces as red as their hair. Molly sobbed as Arthur held her his face full of embarrassment and remorse. But Ron……….Ron wouldn’t even look Harry in the face. Shame, hurt, and betrayal ran across his freckled face. When he finally did look at Harry, his resolve broke. Tears had gone done his face and Ron dissaparated before Harry could stop him.
Hermione hadn’t left his side in six months. She had fixated herself in Godric’s Hollow with Harry and his boys, taking the extra bedroom Harry had used as an office. He hadn’t needed it anymore; seeing as he quit the Auror’s a few days after Ginny had left. He had still been in training so it wasn’t like it was hard to leave.
When Hermione had asked him why, his answer was simple. “I’m a father, ‘Minoe. I have my children to think about and being an Auror is not an ideal job for a single parent.” She cried that night, saying what an amazing father and person he was. She moved in the next day and said she wasn’t leaving him alone in this.
It took Ron two months to face him. And when he did he threw his arms around Harry. He clutched on to his best mate.
“I’m so sorry Harry. I……I just couldn’t look at you. It would tear me up; knowing that someone in my family hurt you and the boys. I…….I didn’t feel I deserved to be you friend; to even be near you guys.”
His words sliced at Harry and he hugged Ron tighter. “You bloody idiot. Don’t ever think that. You didn’t hurt me Ron. That was Ginny; and while I don’t want to see her, I could never hate you. This isn’t your fault, and I know you’re blaming yourself. Stop it, I need my best mate, and the boys need their Godfather. I can’t do this without you.”
Ron hadn’t moved in but he was there practically every day. Sometimes he slept over, seeing as how he and Hermione were dating, but he didn’t move in. Harry never asked why but he had a hunch it had to do with his guilt.
“There, it’s done,” Hermione held up the documents in triumph. Harry snaps back to the present and feels a weight settle on his shoulders.
“It’s 100% clear?” His voice shakes a bit. Hermione gives him a sad smile, “Don’t worry Harry she won’t ever be able to take your boys away. It’s not like she even wants that; she made that very clear when she fucked off.” Hermione looks over her shoulder in alarm.
Harry chuckles a little, “Don’t worry both boys are asleep right now. Molly really tuckered them out during their play date.”
Hermione groans, “All that means is you’re going to be up all night.” Harry shrugs, “It’s not like I have a job right now anyway.”
Hermione shakes her head, “Thank Godric you’re parents left you a fortune and you’re investment at the Weasley’s shop is paying off.” Harry would never regret that small investment; it was making him more gallons then being an Auror had.
Hermione waves her wand and soon the scrolls are gone. She says, “I will send that off tomorrow to the solicitor of the Fitchburg Finches; I’ve been in touch, she knows they’re coming.”
Fear grips his heart, “What if she doesn’t sign them ‘Minoe?” The witch growls, “Oh, she will sign them alright. Ginny and I didn’t have a pretty conversation when I had the legal meeting with her and Jerkins. Can you believe she had the gall to smile and greet me like nothing was wrong? The nerve of that witch!”
He does remember, actually. Harry hadn’t been there for that, Hermione refused to put them in the same room even if it was only through Floo. But she had come home from her office shaking. She admitted to almost throwing a hex to see if it would land all the way in America.
His best friend was so level headed and intelligent; so it had taken him completely by surprise when she told him that the night Ginny left, she had aparated for days; searching for Ginny just so she could punch her and hex her until she couldn’t walk. She had been livid when he told her what she had done; Hermione had been the first person he called as soon as he could talk.
She had also been the one to demand Harry send over paperwork so he would have all custody rights to the boys. They weren’t married; so there was a chance that Ginny could waltz back and take them from him. She didn’t have the right, not in Harry’s eyes, but the Wizengamot could rule in her favor.
Hermione spits out, “She didn’t want them so she has no right to them. I made sure I informed her of that countless of times. She will sign them trust me; she has her stupid new life playing Quidditch in America.”
He sighs but nods. He has to believe that Hermione was right. He doesn’t know what he would do if things went south.
But the next day the weight that had settled on him lifts. The papers come back signed within an hour. Hermione was positive she hadn’t even read them. But whatever the case, Harry let out a sigh of relief as he watches Albus trying to crawl into the kitchen, and Jamie is waddling after him.
His heart swells at the sight of his sons. He doesn’t think his heart could fit anyone else.
+++
James is four and Albus is three when he sees Malfoy again.
They were at a muggle park near 12 Grimmauld Place. About a year ago he had given the house to Ron, in the hopes that he could fix it up and finally ask Hermione to move in with him. He had done a spectacular job of turning the dreary house into a nice comfortable home. But the idiot had yet to ask his long-term girlfriend to move in with him. She was still at Godric’s Hollow.
“Dada! Dada…want swing,” Albus’ voice rung out and Harry chuckled. Jamie was currently playing tag with a group of muggle boys in the sand pit. He made his way to his youngest. Albus stuck out grabby hands and Harry rolled his eyes.
“Use your words Albus,” Harry says with fond exasperation. Albus furrows little brows at him; his green eyes focusing on his father. He opens his mouth, “Up dada, and swings…p…pwease.” He picks him up and places a kiss on his cheek. “That’s my boy, was that so hard?” Albus giggles and places kisses on Harry’s cheek.
He just melts when he does that.
Taking him to the swing meant for infants, he straps him in and pushes him softly. His son giggles and swings his legs. His eyes continue to move from Albus to Jamie; making sure to keep an eye on both. It’s during his glance to Jamie that he notices a small boy looking lost. He looks to be around Albus’ age.
His gaze is wide; frightened grey eyes looking all around the playground. Harry has jolt of familiarization; has he seen this kid before? His light, almost silver hair gleams as his head swivels around. Tears are forming in his eyes and Harry’s heart lurches.
Harry stops pushing Albus who whines in protest. He plucks him out and moves towards the boy.
Those frightened grey eyes move towards him and terror flashes on his face. This little boy is lost and he is terrified. Harry kneels a few feet away from him, not wanting him to run off. He gives him a gentle smile, “Hello, what are you doing here by yourself? Are you lost?”
The little boy steps away a bit, but doesn’t answer him. His eyes dart around and Harry knows he is planning to bolt. He can’t have that. Who knows where this little boy’s parents are but they must be frantic looking for him. He pulls Albus off his hip and places him on the floor.
“This is my son Albus, and my name is Harry.” Looking at Albus, the little boy stops moving. Albus grins, “Hi!” After a moment of hesitation, a small pale hand waves but he doesn’t say anything.
“You…..lost?” Albus asks. The little boy finally nods and his tears leak on his face. Harry’s heart thumps for him. He must be so scared.
Albus turns to Harry and frowns, “Dada, help….he lost.” Harry nods and inches a bit closer, “Of course I will help. What’s your name little one?” Grey eyes dart to Harry and back to Albus. His son moves towards the boy with a hand held out.
“My Dada help…..’mon, take maw han.” Albus moves closer but surprisingly doesn’t just grab the boy. He is so smart that sometimes Harry forgets he is three.
Finally the little boy nods, takes Albus’ hand, and walks to Harry.
He holds out his hand, not wanting to scare him anymore than he already is. Finally a tiny pale hand wraps around his fingers. Harry smiles, “I will help you find your parents. Can you tell me your name?”
His little eyebrows furrow, “S…..scop….scop……” he growls in frustration and he gets hit with another wave a familiarity. He grabs Albus and extends his arm to the boy. He gingerly steps into him, and Harry picks him up. Albus giggles and grabs the little boys hand again. Harry begins to ask him what direction he came from, but a shout interrupts him.
“Scorpius! Scorpius, where are you! Baby, answer me!” The frantic voice breaks at the end. Harry stops walking as the boy in his arms shouts, “Papa! Papa!” His heads moves around, looking for that voice. Harry’s eyes widen as Malfoy emerges from the trees. He is looking around like a mad man. His eyes land on Harry and for a moment it seems like he stops breathing.
Familiar grey eyes expand as they both drink the other in. But the boy, Scorpius, wiggles around until Harry puts him down. That breaks Draco’s trance. He runs towards his son and scoops him up. A warm feeling settles in his chest as he watches the happy reunion.
“Oh thank Merlin! Scorpius you’re safe. Baby you scared me half to death! I told you not to run off like that!” The little boy looks sheepish as he buries his face in Malfoy’s neck.
“Sowwy Papa, I ‘idn’t mean to,” he whimpers as he clings to his father. Harry feels a touch of warmth at the picture.
Malfoy finally looks up and his relief is evident in those grey eyes. “Potter, thank you for finding him.” He shakes his head, “You don’t need to thank me Malfoy. I didn’t really do anything.”
“Regardless, thank you. I was about to burst a blood vessel. He was gone for five minutes-”
“Longest five minutes for your life?” Harry can sympathize.
Malfoy nods, “Understatement of the year.”
Harry nudges Albus in his arm and the little boy giggles. Harry says, “They are a handful. Albus, say hi.” His son wiggles in his arms until Harry puts him down. He runs over to Malfoy and waves, “Hi, I’m Al!” He can see Malfoy’s lips tilt up. He crouches down, “Hello, Al. My name is Draco and this is Scorpius.”
Al’s little brows furrow, “Daco….Scopus…..” Harry and Malfoy chuckle. Al turns to Harry, “Dada I wanna play with Scopus!”
Harry walks over to them and he can see Malfoy stiffen up a bit. Harry looks at his son, “Son, I’m sure Malfoy needs to get back.” Al gives him a confused look, “Mafoy?”
“Draco needs to get back,” his old rivals name sounds strange coming from him. Al frowns and turns to Malfoy. “Can…..Can Scopus pway?” Malfoy looks a little torn. His son is still currently hiding in his neck.
“I think we should head back actually,” but as Malfoy finishes speaking Albus pouts. His little lip trembles and Harry’s heart clenches; but man can his son play him with just that look. “Pwease Daco? He’s maw fwend,” that lip tremble again and Harry can see the softness in Malfoy’s eyes. It’s a look he never thought he would see in his face.
Scorpius finally makes an appearance. He lifts his little head and looks at Albus. He asks, “Fwends?” Albus nods his head eagerly. Scorpius smiles and looks at Draco, “Papa, I wanna play.” He turns to his son, “Scorpius, we need to head back. I just ran out on your Aunt Pansy. She must be worried sick.” Now Scorpius pouts and if it isn’t just a replica of Al’s.
Harry hides his laugh by faking a cough. Malfoy gives him a glare and that just makes him laugh again. After a few moments Malfoy sighs, “Fine, but only for a few minutes. We really need to head back.” Both boys yelp in glee and soon they’re running back to the playground. Harry chuckles, “You really shouldn’t let them manipulate you that easily.”
Again Malfoy sends him a glare, but there really isn’t any heat behind it. He says, “Like you don’t cave every time your son gives you that look.”
“Hey I did once, when he tried to convince me to send James to the moon because he was being mean to him.” Malfoy lifts a brow, “James?”
Harry nods over to his oldest, who is still playing with the other children. “He is my oldest. They’re only a year apart,” his voice goes soft as he looks at James. Malfoy gives him a surprised look, “A father of two? You really didn’t waste time did you Potter.”
Harry shrugs, “I’ve come to find I am very fertile, and absolutely shit with protection spells.” What in Merlin’s name compelled him to say that?
Malfoy lets out a surprised laugh which makes Harry grin. Malfoy says, “Well I am sure your wife isn’t happy about that.” Harry’s grin quickly slips off his face; as it normally does when Ginny is mentioned. Though Malfoy didn’t exactly name her; and it’s not as if he knew.
He notices that Malfoy picks up in his shift of attitude. Harry simply takes a breath, “Not relevant. But it looks like our kids get along.” Both men look over to see Scorpius and Albus tossing the swing back and forth to each other, laughing avidly.
Malfoy’s shoulders relax, “I can see that. Scorpius doesn’t normally take to people like that.”
“Al has a way with people. He wants to take everyone home, too. Five gallons he will come over here and ask to take your son home.” There’s a glint in those grey eyes and he says, “You’re on Potter.”
They watch as the boys play and they make idle chit chat about useless things. At one point Malfoy sends a Patronus to Pansy, letting her know he found his son and they were fine.
Harry scoffs, “Of course your Patronus is a dragon. You always did have a flare for the dramatics.” Malfoy pretends to be offended as he says, “I am not dramatic, Potter. And my name literally means dragon; what else would it be?”
“A ferret?” Harry smirks at Malfoy’s glare.
“I am going to hex you Potter,” but his smirk doesn’t help the threat. Harry laughs and a thought hits him.
“Hell must be freezing over right now,” Harry points out. Malfoy gives him a confused look. Harry says, “I never thought I would see the day we could have a normal conversation without killing each other.”
Comprehension crosses the blonde’s features. He nods, “I can agree with you on that. And I thought I’d be dead before I ever agreed with you on anything.”
Both men look at each other with a small smile. He is surprised that he can have a pleasant conversation with Malfoy. And what’s more is that he finds himself enjoying it.
It’s at that moment Harry knows what his next course of action is. Harry sticks out his hand, “I’m Harry Potter, please call me Harry.” Malfoy’s eyes narrow in confusion as he looks down at his out stretched hand. Harry holds his breath as he waits for Malfoy to decide if he should take it or reject it; just like Harry had all those years ago.
Finally pale, slim fingers wrap around his palm. He clears his throat and says, “Draco Malfoy, I guess you can call me Draco.” Harry grins, “Well aren’t you ever so kind.”
They pull their hands back just as the boys race over. James stops in front of Harry, “Dada, I want him!” He looks at James in confusion, “Want who James?” That’s when Harry realizes that he has an out of breath Scorpius clasped by the wrist. Albus has his other wrist and is looking at Harry with wide pleading eyes.
James says, “Scopus, I want him. Please, Dada can we ‘eep him?” He turns round hazel eyes at him as Albus says, “Pwease Dada, he can sweep ‘ith me.” Green eyes, just like his own, beg him to say yes. Next to him he hears Ma-Draco chuckle.
Harry shakes his head, when had James even gotten his hands on Scorpius?
“Sorry boys, Scorpius has his own home he needs to get back to.” At this Scorpius pouts and he looks at his father.
Draco crosses his arms, “Is there something you want Scorpius?” The little boy nods his head and he opens his mouth but he is cut off. James grabs Harry’s pant leg, “Please Daddy.”
Albus wraps his available arm around Harry’s leg and James’ eyes light up as he decides to do that same. Harry looks up at Draco, eyes begging for help. The bastard covers his mouth to hide his laugh and looks at his son.
Harry growls but pats the boys heads, “Sorry, kids, but that isn’t my call to make.” He gives Draco a smug look as three heads turn to him. His smile falls and Harry sees him nervously swallow. And in a matter of seconds the blonde has three boys at his feet begging him to let them take Scorpius.
He turns amused grey eyes to Harry, “Should I be worried that my own son wants to go home with you?” Said son now has tears in his eyes; three spoiled boys, they are.
Harry shrugs, “You can always take mine? I need a break.” Malfoy gives him a panicked look and Harry laughs. It takes both of them about five minutes to explain to all three of them why it can’t happen. Sullen expressions meet them and Harry sighs; great now the boys would be grumpy the rest of the day.
Scorpius is sniffling as he turns the saddest grey eyes to Harry. His insides melt at the torn expression. He can see Draco shaking his head at him. Draco’s mini me says, “Pwease Hawwy.” And that about did it, so Harry sighs, “Okay how about this, why don’t you and Scorpius come over for dinner on Thursday?” The sullen looks turn delighted and hopeful. Scorpius nods as he tugs at his father’s hand.
By the time they depart from the park, Draco has Harry’s Floo address and a time for dinner.
Well stranger things have happened.
+++
It’s about three months later when Harry learns what happened to Scorpius’ mom.
After that first Thursday get together, weekly dinners with the Malfoy’s had become routine. Those three were thick as thieves; Albus and James were enamored with Scorpius and so was Harry. He was the sweetest kid with such a tender heart. Sometimes he couldn’t believe this was Draco Malfoy’s kid. He had told him as much. Draco had given him a sad smile, “I want him to be better than I was. I…..I don’t want him to grow up like I did.”
And that was another part that had taken Harry completely by surprise; his friendship with Draco. It had been so easy to fall into it. That first dinner had been a little awkward after the boys had ran to the playroom and left the two adults alone.
They had been having a drink in silence before Draco had sighed. He had broken the stillness by saying, “I know I never said it before, but thank you. Thank you for saving my life, more than once and……and for speaking at my trial, and my mother’s. I…..you didn’t have to, but thank you. And…….and I would like to apologize for…..for the way I treated you when we were in school.”
His voice had gone low at the end of his speech and Harry had looked at him with wide eyes. He had not been expecting that. It’s when Draco began to shift uneasily, that he realizes he hasn’t said anything in a few minutes.
Harry had said, “You don’t need to thank me Draco, but you’re welcome….and as for everything else…..well we were kids…..stupid ones in fact….who were fighting on opposite sides of a war before we were even born.”
Grey eyes had locked on his, “I am still sorry. I was a prat and a bully. I know that now, and I’m sorry.”
Harry smiled at him, “It’s not like I was that great to you either, Draco. If I remember correctly I almost killed you.” His smile had fallen as he remembered that night.
Draco shook his head, “That…..It…..you don’t need to-”
Harry cut him off, “I am sorry for that. For scarring you and…I should have never……..I’m so sorry.”
His throat had choked up a little as he remembered seeing Draco on the floor bleeding. Minutes had passed before Draco spoke up, “Harry, I forgave you a long time ago.”
After that they had fallen into a friendship that Harry never expected. He learned just how witty and funny Draco was; how hilariously sarcastic and easy to talk to he was. Hermione and Ron had been so very shocked when he told them he was having weekly dinners with Draco and his son.
Hermione’s jaw had ticked as she said, “Who knew Malfoy could be a dad.” A bloody fantastic one if Harry did say so himself.
Ron had spluttered, “Who knew Harry would ever call him Draco.”
They had crossed paths which had been painfully awkward but after about three or four run ins Hermione had pulled Draco aside. Harry doesn’t know what they talked about; all Draco or ‘Mione would tell him was that Draco had apologized to her and the rest was history. It took about a month for Ron and Draco to speak to each other. But he had also apologized to Ron. He had accepted it with a stiff nod before running from the study.
It wasn’t perfect but it was a start.
Currently Harry was cutting the veggies for the salad while Draco was making the dressing. Draco sighs, “Mother is still harassing me. She is dying to meet the boys her grandson speaks so highly of.” Harry chuckles, “We can barely understand him, how can she even tell what he is saying.”
Draco shrugs, “She says it is in her DNA as a grandparent to automatically be able to know.” Harry asks, “What did you tell her?”
“Nothing really, just that Scorpius never wants to be home anymore,” he says with a growl, which only makes Harry laugh harder.
“Do you not want to tell her it’s me? Ashamed of our friendship Malfoy?” He tries to make it sound teasing but it comes out a little stiff. It….hurts him to think Draco is embarrassed by his family. Draco turns startled eyes to Harry, “No, Harry, of course not. It….it’s just…I didn’t think you’d…want me to say anything.”
“Why would you think that?”
Draco shrugs, “I…I know you like your privacy and you’re very protective of your sons. I…..I know she would want to invite them over to the manor; and I know how you feel about that place.”
Harry is touched by his thoughtfulness. He never thought Draco would be capable of that. Without thinking he places his hand on top of Draco’s and squeezes. “That is very thoughtful of you, Draco. But if you want to tell her….well it’s fine. You’re mother wasn’t…….wasn’t terrible to me. She even sent me an owl after I spoke at her trial to thank me. We didn’t keep in touch but……I don’t have a problem with her.”
Draco turns to him with a smile, “Thanks Harry.” They just stare at each other for the longest time. Harry feels his chest tighten as he drinks in the man in front of him. Has Draco always been…..this pretty? The thought startles his so much he pulls back. He goes back to making the salad.
Draco gives him an odd look but doesn’t say anything. Harry clears his throat, “So Scorpius loves his grandmother?”
A chuckle comes from his left, “He adores her. She spoils him rotten as any grandparent should…….Mother loves him so much, and she wants me to give her more.” There is a strain in his voice that makes Harry look up. Draco isn’t looking at him but his shoulders are tense.
Harry can’t help but ask, “You don’t want anymore? What about Scorpius’ mother?” It is at that moment that Harry realizes that in three months and all those dinners, they both never talk about the boys’ mothers.
Suddenly those tense shoulders fall and Harry can see that Draco looks sad.
He gulps and says, “We don’t have to talk about this, Draco. Sorry I brought it up.” The blonde shake his head, “I technically did……maybe in some sense I wanted to…talk about her.”
Harry doesn’t say anything as he waits for him to continue. The salad is done so he moves back to the pasta to stir.
The silence stretches for so long that Harry thinks the subject has been dropped. But then Draco talks, “Astoria and I….well we were engaged since we were 11.” Harry’s jaw drops open and he turns wide eyes to him.
Draco gives a small chuckle, “I know…..ridiculous, but that is pureblood traditions for you. It’s common for marriage to be arranged from a young age.”
“What the flying fuck? That seems a bit twisted,” the tone of Harry’s voice comes out scandalized.
Again, Draco shrugs, “It’s how I was raised, but now that I have my boy….well yeah I can also agree with you. I would hate to do that to Scorpius. Force him to marry someone he didn’t love. I am doing things a little different then my father.”
“Thank Merlin,” Harry mumbles and Draco rolls his eyes. “As I was saying, we had been engaged for ages. We also happened to be good friends. And while I did love Astoria I wasn’t in love with her. I knew I never could.”
Harry gives him questioning eyes as he turns off the stove, “What do you mean? Was she not your type? Did she snore? Did she leave her shoes scattered all over the floor so you would trip coming home from work? Ginny did that and it would drive me insane.” His stomach clenches at the mention of Ginny’s name.
Draco let’s out the most unattractive snort he has ever heard; and Harry absolutely adores it.
“Astoria would hex your balls off if she ever heard you asking that. She was a pureblooded lady without a hair out of place; she was beautiful, smart, and kind. Just utterly perfect.”
“Then how come you knew you could never love her if she was so perfect?”
“Well, as you said, she wasn’t exactly my type,” Draco’s voice comes out tight.
Harry is confused, “How? She sounds like she would be everyone’s dream girl. Did you want them dumb, ugly, and rude?”
Draco rolls his eyes, “Seriously Potter, you are so dense. She didn’t have the right equipment.”
What does that even mean? Again Draco snorts, “Merlin, Potter. I like men. There was no way it was going to happen.”
Well if that didn’t floor Harry. That wasn’t what he was expecting to say. “Oh,” and really what else could he say.
He can feel Draco’s gaze on him but Harry goes about serving the food. They were going to have to call the kids soon. There is an edge to Draco’s voice as he asks, “Is that a problem for you?” And Harry snaps startled eyes to him, “No of course not! I….I’m sorry I just didn’t know what to say. There really isn’t a point. It’s not like I am going to like you any less because of that.”
Draco visibly relaxes at that.
He continues his story, “Anyway, Astoria knew of my preference but she still wanted to get married. She said it would secure her future and I would get my heir. She didn’t mind if I was…..discreet…with my affairs.”
Harry makes a face at that, “That sounds really messed up.”
He nods, “I agree but again, this is how things are done in pureblood society. It’s barbaric but it is more common than you would think. So Astoria was content with that.”
“So….you’re married?” The thought, for some reason, makes him uncomfortable. Draco shakes his head, “No unfortunately we never made it that far. Astoria…….she passed away a few months after Scorpius was born.” The sadness in his voice makes Harry ache.
“Oh, Draco……fuck I am so sorry. That is awful.” And because he can, Harry warps him up in a hug. Draco doesn’t protest; it seems like bringing up the past has taken something out of him. He places his forehead on Harry’s shoulder.
Draco continues, “We……we wanted to see if we could even have sex with each other. So we got a little drunk; it was clumsy and messy and honestly a little traumatizing but we laughed the entire time. But of course with being drunk, we were……..not safe.”
“And Scorpius happened,” Harry huffs out a small chuckle.
Draco nods, “Yes he did. Our parents were not amused. They wanted us to have a shotgun wedding, I believe the muggles call it. Her parents said it was unbecoming of a young woman to be with child but no husband. I was so angry but not as much as Astoria. She told her parents to shove it, she was going to get married when she and I felt like it. And to spite them she wanted to wait until Scorpius was born.”
Harry finally realizes he is playing with Draco’s hair. His fingers are moving up and down just rubbing above the nape of his neck.
He stills his hand; what is he doing? Draco huffs in disappointment, “Don’t stop…it’s….it’s helping me get through this.” And just like that Harry caves and continues to card his fingers through his hair.
He is offering comfort; that’s all, just like any good friend. Hermione does this for him all the time.
“But once he was born she got sick. I…..I feel horrible but I think I blocked those months out; I don’t remember what she caught but it depleted her magical core. It….it was awful seeing her die like that. Her energy just fizzled out. She couldn’t hold the baby when he turned a month; it was too much for her. I was raising a baby by myself because his poor mother was too sick to help. Astoria hated that; she told me she felt useless. I told her time and again I didn’t mind, he was my son too and I was going to take responsibility as well. We were going to wait until she got better to get married. But it wasn’t meant to be.”
His voice drips in anguish and Harry clutches him tighter. There are no words to describe how much Harry feels for him and Scorpius. The little man never knew his mother, just like James and Albus; just like Harry.
They both say nothing for a long time. Draco hugging Harry with a strength that surprised him, while Harry continued with his hair. Finally after ages, Harry says, “Merlin Draco. I am so sorry. And…..and I am disappointed I didn’t get to meet her. She sounds amazing; maybe we would have gotten along.”
Draco nods but doesn’t say anything. Harry can feel how he shakes in his arms and he feels helpless. He wants to take all the pain from inside him; so he never has to feel it again. Harry wants him to know about him as well.
“At least his mother didn’t just walk out on him because she was a selfish witch,” Harry’s voice is tight and the fingers in Draco’s hair shake. Draco pulls back and gives him a confused look. He doesn’t think as he wordlessly summons the letter. Harry steps back and hands it to Draco; surprised that he doesn’t feel the need to hide this.
Draco begins to read so Harry goes back to making dinner. It’s a few minutes later when he hears Draco whisper, “What the fuck.” Harry lets out an amused chuckle. What the fuck indeed, but it’s been years since that letter has managed to cause him any type of pain.
He can hear the anger tilt Draco’s voice, “That absolute bint. How dare she leave those babies? What….what kind of……she’s…….I….”
Harry turns off the stove and turns around. He leans against the counter and crosses his arms. Draco looks up with angry eyes. Harry nods, “It definitely destroyed me when I first read it. She left me alone with two kids. I…..Merlin Draco, that first year on my own……I was so afraid. I couldn’t comfort my own children. James kept asking for Mommy for about five months and that…I felt like my heart was being ripped out. Albus, luckily, was only 5 days old when she left. But I know he is going to ask me where his mother is. I’m surprised he hasn’t yet. Jamie has asked a few times but his attention span isn’t that great yet.”
He runs a hand through his hair; his chest aching as he relives that first year.
He didn’t notice that Draco has made his way to him until he feels his hand on his shoulder. Harry looks up to him. Those grey eyes are still hard but they regard him softly somehow. Draco says, “Merlin’s beard Harry. You kill a maniac, save the world, ride a bloody dragon, and raise two of the sweetest boys I’ve ever met. Is there anything you can’t do?”
Harry can feel his face heat up at his words. His tone is a little bitter as he says, “Apparently keep a woman.” Draco shakes his head and grips his shoulder, “Weasley is an asshole. I honestly would have never thought she would do something like this. Her leaving has nothing to do with you. She couldn’t step up. Maybe it was best that she left. Who knows if her leaving later would have hurt the boys more.”
Another sigh, but Harry nods, “That’s what Hermione said.”
Draco huffs, “She isn’t the brightest witch of our time for no reason.” Harry gives him a smirk, “Be careful, Malfoy, you’ve complemented two Gryffindor’s in a matter of five minutes.”
Draco flushes but shoves his shoulder with an eye roll. He says, “That won’t do. Your hair is atrocious Potter, and your clothes are stupid.” Harry lets out a bark of laughter and the heaviness in the room lifts. Soon they call the boys who come running in yowling about how hungry they are.
Before they sit down Harry feels a tug on his pant leg. Looking down he sees Scorpius gazing at him with big eyes. He crouches down and asks, “What’s up, my little scorpion?” He giggles, he seems to love the nickname Harry gave him a few weeks ago.
He hands him a paper, “I dwew you a piture, Hawwy.” Harry takes it and his smile burst out. It’s a picture of five stick figures in front of a house. Two with blonde hair, one with brown, and two with black hair; one figure has unmistakable round glasses.
“Abus says you…..put pitures on….on that,” his little hand points to the fridge and Harry can’t help the surge of fondness for Scorpius that goes through him. Harry drags him into a hug that the little boy happily returns.
“Your picture is definitely going on the fridge Scorpius. Thank you I love it.” Scorpius giggles and gives him a kiss on the cheek which renders Harry speechless. Scorpius wiggles out of his arms and runs to the table. Draco looks over at him with a lifted brow. With a grin he plucks a magnet from the drawer and hangs the picture next to the ones James and Albus have drawn in the past.
And for the rest of dinner Harry can’t get rid of his grin.