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Bucky shuffled his way through the aisle, glaring at the brightly packaged candies, shoulders drawn down and in. He gave a furtive glance around before swiping a bag of lollipops and slowly shuffling his way towards the front to pay. He kept his long hair forward and hat pulled down low, hoping no one would see him.
It should have been his usual visit to the gas station. Every day he would stop at the grungy little store on his way home from school and buy a pack of Joes while whatever-her-name rambled on about the latest gossip. He didn't know what he'd do if one of his friends came in and saw him buying lollipops instead of cigarettes. They'd know right away that he was trying to quit, and then the questions would come.
"What's up with you Bucky? Too good to smoke?"
"What, worried about your lungs? You little wuss!"
His face remained blank, but he shuddered on the inside. He scowled at the bag of lollipops, faltering in his steps.
He half turned around to put the bag back before remembering why he was trying this in the first place. How the whole school would laugh if they knew that bad boy Bucky Barnes was considering quitting smoking for the school's baby, Stevie Rogers.
Bucky wasn't even sure how Stevie had become his problem. No, that was a lie; Bucky knew why Stevie had turned to Bucky's group. Stevie was the smallest kid in 11th grade, even smaller than Natasha Romanoff, and without amazing curves to use to her advantage. Stevie was a walking hospital, constantly sick. It seemed like every time Bucky was at the nurse's office, normally from a fight gone south, Stevie was there too.
Add in the fact that Stevie had won the school's art fair every year since elementary school, and she didn't even have to be a nerd like Stark or Banner to be bullied.
It had been at the nurse's office that the two had their first interaction.
Jim, Bucky's second-in-command, practically carried a bruised and bloody Bucky into the nurse's office. The nurse gave a slight sigh before rushing over to support Bucky's other shoulder. They dragged the barely conscious boy to an empty bed. Across the room, a pale Stevie took a puff of her inhaler as she watched the events with wide eyes.
"What on earth happened to him?" the nurse demanded as she pried open one eyelid to wave a flashlight in front of his eyes, "No sign of head trauma, shocking with the amount of bruising on your thick skull."
"Relax, Nurse Sharon, he got in a fight, but he looks worse than it actually is," Jim said with a smile and a hint of laughter now that he didn't have to support Bucky's weight.
"You should see the other guy," Bucky groaned.
Jim laughed and clapped Bucky on the shoulder, resulting in a hiss of pain.The nurse shook her head as she headed to the attached bathroom to grab gauze from the cupboards. Jim didn't stop laughing as he said, "Thanks for taking that fight man. I'm already on parole, and Principal Fury would've expelled me for sure if I got in a fight again. I'll make it up to you."
"You better believe you will," Bucky said. He pulled his arm away from his face to give Jim a sharp glare. Jim's grin faltered for second, and he gave a sharp nod before leaving, grin back in place as though nothing had happened.
Bucky flung his arm back across his face with a groan. Nurse Sharon quickly returned with an ice pack and two cups. She tossed the ice pack at him. Bucky shot her a glare as he caught the ice pack midair, "Hey! What's with the rough treatment nurse?"
"I'm not going to coddle you when it's entirely your own fault that you're in here. You didn't have to step in just because Jim has constant foot-in-mouth syndrome. Let him face the consequences of his actions for once, maybe it'll help him to grow up," she said as she handed him the cups, "Here are two ibuprofens and a bit of water. Do you think anything's broken?"
"Didn't you hear him? he would've been expelled if I hadn't stepped in! He just doesn't have a filter," Bucky said.
Nurse Sharon humphed, "Despite your beliefs, you don't have to save everyone."
"Woah, woah, woah, don't say it like that! You make it sound like I did it out of the goodness of my heart. The Howling Commandoes stick up for each other, no matter the consequences."
"Don't go talking about that gang in my office. I might have to maintain your confidentiality, but, I'll have to report if you are a risk to other students," Nurse Sharon warned, "I'm heading back into the main part of the office. Let me know when you feel ready to head back to classes. Stevie, let me know if you need anything dear."
Stevie waited until she'd walked into her office before talking to Bucky, "Good job of avoiding her question."
Bucky opened one eye and shot a glare at Stevie, "I don't know what you're talking about, pipsqueak."
Stevie glared at him, "My name's not pipsqueak, it's Stevie! You've only seen me like a thousand times in here."
"I don't believe I've been to the nurse's office a thousand times. A hundred times, maybe." Bucky said.
"You know what I mean! But that's not important right now," Stevie said excitedly. She gave a slight jump off of the nurse bed she had been sitting on (her feet didn't quite reach the ground, but she was positive that she would soon have that elusive growth spurt she'd been promised) and walked over to Bucky's. The slight movements of the bed from Stevie jumping onto it made Bucky pull his arm completely away from his face and even sit up a little. The twisting of his face in pain told Stevie that he probably should've had Nurse Sharon look at his ribs instead of avoiding her question about broken bones.
"What do you think you're doing pipsqueak? We have a nice, unspoken agreement going on. You stay on your side of the room, completely silent and I won't beat you to a pulp for seeing me when I'm... not at my best," Bucky glared.
Truthfully, Stevie knew exactly what he meant. She knew of this agreement without the two of them having ever spoken of it. She knew that Nurse Sharon would never let Bucky beat her up while they were still at the office, but Bucky would be free to punch Stevie to a pulp anywhere else if Bucky thought his reputation was damaged by being seen receiving medical help.
So Stevie stayed on her side of the room and received help for her colds or asthma or occasionally for being beat up, and Bucky stayed on his side receiving help for the various fights he was in.
Stevie took a deep breath and plunged on, there was no going back now that the silent agreement had been mentioned.
"I need your help," she admitted. She didn't say it shyly or with shame; she said it confidently, like she already knew that Bucky would agree to it.
"What?" Bucky had not been expecting that.
"You're in here all the time for fighting. I need you to teach me how to fight. Maybe even teach me how to look tough," Stevie said.
Bucky glanced over at Stevie's neatly pressed knee length skirt and tucked in polo, polished Mary Jane's, pin straight thin blonde, chin length hair with a small blue barrette, and burst out laughing.
Stevie frowned at Bucky.
"I'm not joking!" Stevie exclaimed.
Bucky finally managed to get his laughter down to chuckles, "Sorry kid, it's just, you're not tough material."
He held up his hand before Stevie could say anything, and then he gestured at their clothes. "You're a prep. You look like a goody to shoes. Then you have me; I'm wearing ripped and literally blooded clothes. Your shoes are polished, my boots are scuffed. Not to mention how tiny you are. A stiff breeze could knock you over. It's impossible for you to look tough, kid."
Stevie frowned, "I'm not a kid; I'm literally the same age as you."
Bucky guffawed, "No way!"
"Are too! We're both in 11th grade, and, no, I didn't skip a grade," Stevie said.
Bucky frowned at the kid as he pulled out his lighter and his pack of smokes. Could the pipsqueak really be in 11th grade? Bucky tried to remember if he'd seen the girl in any of his classes and suddenly remembered that he had English with her.
"I guess you really are my age! You're still a pipsqueak though," Bucky said with a quick grin. He offered a cigarette to Stevie as he tried to think of what to do. He didn't think the pipsqueak would ever be able to hold her own in a fight, but he also knew that he couldn't let Stevie keep going back to the bullies now that she had brought it up. Before his mother died, she'd always taught him to treat those smaller than himself a certain way (as long as they didn't start the fight), and he couldn't just leave Stevie to bullies.
At the same time, he didn't want to be seen as going soft. Bucky was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice the way Stevie had leaned away from him when he lit up.
"You shouldn't smoke in school," Stevie said as she started to cough. She almost groaned as she felt her asthma stir from the smoke.
Bucky frowned at Stevie, "So you really are a little goody too shoes."
"No, I- I -," Stevie was unable to finish her sentence as she tried to catch her breath between coughs.
Bucky smacked Stevie on the back, "Whoa there, breathe!"
Stevie looked around desperately for her inhaler. She couldn't find it on Bucky's bed and realized she must have left it on her bed. She tried to get it, but she was weak from an earlier asthma attack and started to collapse when her feet hit the floor.
Luckily, Bucky was quick and managed to grab her before she hit the floor. Bucky laid Steve on the bed before running to Nurse's Sharon's office.
"Nurse, come quick! Stevie is having some sort of breathing attack!" Bucky screamed as he slammed Nurse Sharon's door open.
Nurse Sharon cursed under her breath as she ran into the adjacent room. She quickly realized the problem and grabbed Stevie's inhaler. After a few puffs, Stevie was almost back to normal. Realizing this, Bucky sank gratefully onto Stevie's bed and took several reassuring puffs of the cigarette he had held onto through the entire ordeal. As he sat there, a sharp pain reminded him of his earlier fight. Grabbing onto his ribs, hecursed under his breath; catching Stevie and then running for the nurse had reopened several of Bucky's wounds and reminded him of several bruises.
"What is that?" Nurse Sharon shrieked when she saw the cigarette.
"It's a fish, good for the soul," Bucky said sarcastically.
"Don't you sass me boy, especially when you're the cause of that little episode! And just when I thought her asthma was starting to calm down for the day," the nurse reprimanded as she grabbed the cigarette and washed it down the sink.
"What are you talking about?" Bucky growled, upset over the loss of one of his last cigarettes.
A scratchy voice answered him, "The smoke from cigarettes can cause asthma attacks."
Bucky looked at Stevie. Her face, normally pale, was a ghastly shade of white and her breathing was clearly labored. Bucky could see her hands shaking around her inhaler from across the room. Bucky felt guilty but refused to show it so he turned to anger, "Well, why didn't you say something, stupid?"
Nurse Sharon turned on him like an angry dragon for being rude to her favorite patient, smoke practically pouring from her nostrils. Her startling resemblance to an angry dragon made Bucky want to say his prayers and just hope no one saw him gulp in the face a nurse of all things. Before she could say anything, a timid voice spoke up, "I didn't want you to think I was weak. I can handle it."
Bucky could feel his heart melting before he even turned to look at the girl. The words alone reminded him of his mother at the end, when she was so weak he had to sit her up in bed. Honestly, this girl had a remarkable resemblance to a kicked puppy. He blamed those stupid, giant blue eyes for his next words.
"Well I guess you'll have to sit with my group at lunch. No one would dare think you're weak then," Bucky finally growled from between clenched teeth. He could only imagine what the boys were going to say to him about this new addition. The hope in those blue eyes made him completely forget about his impending humiliation. They both knew that that was as close as Bucky was getting to an apology. Not to mention the fact that he felt a keen sense of pleasure in seeing the shock on Nurse Sharon's face. Perhaps the old hag would even forget to finish yelling at him.
Stevie refused to show her hesitance as she walked across the cafeteria; her knuckles turning white around her nearly empty tray and a small sketch book. She had art immediately after lunch, and it was easier on her to bring the sketchbook with her to lunch then try to make to her first floor locker and third floor art class without being late.
Stevie almost always sat alone at lunch. Sometimes she would sit with Bruce if Stark was absent for the day, but normally no one wanted her to sit with them.
Perhaps it wasn't so much that people didn't want her to sit with them as people normally forgot about her, unless they wanted to bully her. It wasn't like she couldn't understand, she was easy to overlook, and, for some of the taller kids, it was probably easier to overlook her then try to see her. She was quiet, thoughtful instead of talkative. She liked to measure her words before she said them, trying to consider how they would be taken. Most of the time, she'd forget to start a conversation, busy analyzing how the scenes of her life could be drawn in a sketch.
And she'd brought plenty of the bullying onto herself. Any time she saw someone else being bullied, she just couldn't help but to step in. Maybe she was smaller than half the other people being picked on, but she wasn't afraid to stand up for them. Like the time Michael Korvac called a freshman the r. word when Stevie was a sophomore (and shorter than the freshman). As the unknown freshman had seemed to collapse in on herself, Stevie had jumped in between the two.
"Watch your mouth. We don't use that kind of language here," she scolded Michael, who had scoffed at her before calling her several female inspired names. She'd thrown the first punch (doing absolutely nothing), but he had at least gotten in trouble because the principal refused to believe that a girl as small and respectful to authority as Stevie would have started a fight. Michael had made it a point to taunt her, shove her, or mess up her papers since then. Despite that, today she would be sitting at an extremely sought after table. All of the members of the Howling Commandos sat at one table.
They weren't popular like Thor or Clint, the jocks, or even popular like Tony Stark, walking money.
The Howling Commandoes had an air of unapproachability. A stream of injuries followed them. They certainly ran SHIELD High School's black market, and a solid subset of the black market in New York. They were the ones that even the jocks were afraid of and all the girls secretly wanted a chance with. Their table was beyond invitation only; you only sat there if you were one of them or if you had a death wish.
Heck, several of the tables around them were empty.
Their all black, grunge uniforms stood out in the sea of Abercrombie, Ralph Loren, and other name brands worn by the mainly upperclass student population of the school. The quick flash of a sliver knife could occasionally be seen, possibly other weapons.
Stevie wished she could use her inhaler, but even she realized that wouldn't help her tough guy act. After the look from Bucky yesterday, she'd tried dressing differently. She'd pulled out a stiff t-shirt and a pair of clean jeans. She was still a mile from fitting in with the muscled teenagers of the Howling Commandoes or the casually expensive look of so much else of the school, but she hoped she looked a little better. With her mother so sick, most of their money went to her treatments.
'Don't be so nervous, you have an invitation from the leader himself.' Stevie tried to reassure herself.
The infamous Bucky Barnes, unofficial leader of the Howling Commandos. He took over from the previous leader when he was only in 9th grade. He was legendary. No one crossed him and got away with it.
'Yeah, 'cause thinking about how ruthless he is will reassure you. What if he just said that as a joke? What if it's all a prank and he's going to humiliate you when you get over there?' Stevie's inner voice asked. Stevie silenced her inner voice and straightened her shoulders. It didn't matter if Bucky did embarrass her, she had to try something. Stevie couldn't handle constantly being ignored. She couldn't handle people constantly beating her up and calling her names. It didn't help that she refused to run away from a fight or surrender. She had to try something; she just couldn't handle it anymore. Years of feeling completely alone.
The cafeteria grew silent as it became obvious where Stevie was headed. Everyone wanted to see and hear what looked like a brilliant confrontation. The smallest kid in the entire school approaching the toughest kids in school.
"That kid is going to die," Stevie could hear Tony whisper to his friend Bruce. Stevie could hear similar whispers from all over the otherwise silent cafeteria.
"What is the beanpole doing? Is she going to confront them or something?" Stevie heard Clint ask Natasha.
"I think she might ask them if she can sit there," Natasha replied in an offhanded manner.
"Like they'd let her," some random kid sneered.
Stevie was closing in on her destination. She could see that most of the Howling Commandos were now staring at her. She let her eyes roam over the table until she found Bucky, who still seemed to be having a discussion with a guy sitting next to him. Then the guy on his other side, Jim, if Stevie remembered correctly, nudged him. Bucky looked up and seemed to realize how quiet the cafeteria was. He looked around for a source before spotting Stevie approaching the table. At this point, Stevie was directly in front of the table. There was no backing out. The entire cafeteria, and especially Stevie, seemed to hold its breath as it waited for the leader to make a decision.
She felt literal sweat drip down her back, and she almost started to preemptively turn around when it happened.
Bucky's face broke into a grin. The whispers spread through the cafeteria almost as quickly as the Commandos worked from the nonverbal cue from their leader. A spot directly across from Bucky was cleared, and Stevie found herself pulled into it.
Even though they hadn't immediately attacked her, Stevie had the feeling she was a sheep, dressed like a dog, which had willingly walked up to the wolves.
And everyone knew that she was really a sheep.
As she looked out from under her fringe, she saw that everyone was staring at her, some curiously, some with more hostility.
The entire cafeteria remained completely silent; it was beyond the point of being able to hear a pin drop. At one point, she swore she heard Clint drop a feather onto a neighboring table.
Over Stevie's head, Bucky shot a look at the Commandos. Several immediately started up conversations with each other, while two just up and left the table; this was a sign to other tables to start talking too. As the noise level returned to normal, Bucky glanced back at the pale face that had settled herself at Bucky's table. Stevie had tried to present a confident facade, but it was Bucky's job to know his enemies true emotions. Not that he thought of Stevie as an enemy (midget wouldn't even be able to put a bruise on him), but it wasn't a skill he knew how to turn off. With that skill, he could spot the slight tremor she was trying to hide, and the white knuckled grip on her lunch tray, even just the tense set of her shoulders.
She was terrified that Bucky would now announce it was all a big prank and have one of his thugs knife Stevie.
Without warning, Bucky started talking and she jumped about a mile, "You must be the bravest chick I know; you have bigger balls than most of my men."
Stevie couldn't hide the slight tremor that went through her at those words. Had Bucky been sarcastic when he'd invited her over? Was it supposed to be a joke that she'd somehow missed?
Suddenly, Bucky started laughing. As the cafeteria again quieted, Stevie shot a frightened glance at the obviously crazed man. Once Bucky had calmed down, he shot another glance at his men to return the cafeteria to a normal level before turning back to Stevie, "Why'd you do it?"
Stevie was silent for several long moments before she whispered her answer just loud enough that Bucky could hear it if he leaned slightly across the table, "I couldn't handle being alone anymore."
Bucky leaned back, startled but already thinking. He quickly scanned his memory; this kid had to have some friends.
As Bucky thought about it, though, he couldn't remember ever seeing Stevie hanging out with anyone. He'd seen her being picked on and sometimes she'd sat with Banner if Stark wasn't there, but they never really talked, they just ate lunch together.
Bucky frowned, just from what he knew of this girl, he couldn't understand why she had no friends. She was beyond respectful to the nurse and other teachers, Bucky was pretty sure he'd even seen her lend them a hand or go out of her way to walk around a floor a janitor had mopped. Bucky remembered a few times the girl had even redirected a bully's attention away from another kid to her. What Bucky couldn't remember was any of those kids going to Stevie afterwards to thank her.
Sure, Bucky could understand that the cheerleaders and ultra-popular wouldn't want to hang out with her, but surely someone in this school had to care for the midget. T
hinking through things, he realized that they might not. They were probably all too scared of having bullying directed towards them too.
As Bucky was filling with anger on the behalf of the forgotten girl, he noticed that said girl was half out of her seat. He barked at her, "What do you think you're doing?"
Stevie froze, "I was gonna go to another table. I'm sorry to bother you; clearly it was a mistake to sit here."
"Sit back down," Bucky snapped at her. Stevie mused that that might be the fastest she had ever sat down. Stevie watched in dazed amazement as Bucky piled vegetables from his own tray onto Stevie's nearly empty tray.
"No wonder you're such a midget, you don't eat," Bucky muttered.
Stevie felt herself bristle, "I'm not a midget, I just haven't gotten my growth spurt yet! And I eat plenty for your information. "
Bucky just laughed at her as he piled more food onto Stevie's tray, trying to fight down his own anger on her behalf to help make her comfortable. Stevie looked at the tray in horror; there was no way she could eat all that.
"What ya got there?" Bucky asked, gesturing to the sketchbook that Stevie held to her chest like a shield.
"It's a sketchbook, surely you've heard of one before," Stevie murmured, paying more attention to the food Bucky was still piling on her tray, right up until Bucky grabbed the sketchbook out of her hands.
"Give that back!" she cried as she reached across the table. Sadly, Bucky's increased height and longer arms made it very easy for him to keep it out of Stevie's reach as he flipped through it.
"You're pretty good. Really good actually, ever think of being an artist? Then again, I kinda expected the winner of the art contest…" Bucky trailed off as his focus settled on one page.
Stevie felt a blush start on her neck and work its way up until it covered her entire face. She knew of only one page that would make Bucky stop like that. Bucky looked at the work for several minutes before quickly flipping through the rest of the book. He then threw the sketchbook back to Stevie. Stevie waited for the taunting, it wouldn't take long now.
"I like the picture; I feel it's very accurate," Bucky said lowly. Stevie felt her mouth hang open. Bucky had just discovered that a random girl at school had drawn him – with all the detail and accuracy that came from several months of combined visits to the nurse's office – and complimented it instead of beating Stevie to a pulp. Mind you, the drawing was completely innocent, it showed only Bucky's face, but Stevie had drawn a pain there that she knew few people had ever seen.
"Next time, you should try making it a little happier," Bucky continued with a smirk. Next time? Was Bucky implying that he would willingly let Stevie draw him again?
After that day, Stevie always sat with the Howling Commandos, directly across from Bucky. Bucky had seen the effects of suicide and depression; he wasn't letting Stevie fall into depression. He made sure that at least one Commando was always hanging out with Stevie in her classes.
At first, the Commandos resented these assignments, but they were soon the favorite assignment or reward assignment as they got to know Stevie.
Stevie was very different from their angry, violent group. She believed in everyone getting along and helping each other. Her soft spoken words were quite different from the harsh swear words the Commandos liked to scream at each other. Despite all the pain she'd gone through, (Bucky found out that her father was dead, and her mother was half in the grave) she was still very optimistic.
The only thing that still bothered Bucky was Stevie's reaction to the Commandos smoking. The first time Stevie had an asthma attack around Bucky since that time at the nurse's office; Bucky had scooped her into his arms and raced to the nurse's office as Stevie fumbled with her inhaler. Nurse Sharon had quickly gotten Stevie settled in and breathing regularly, but she'd said the fateful words to Bucky, "You're going to kill her with all that smoking."
Bucky had been shocked.
Could his habit really be that dangerous to Stevie?
He'd started letting Stevie hang out with the Commandos because of her bravery, asking where no one else had before, but the small girl had sometimes wormed her way into Bucky's heart – not that he'd ever admit it. Bucky now considered Stevie his best friend, someone he could talk to about things and always trust to keep it between them. She'd seen his pain and hadn't judged him for it. Instead, in a crazy way, she seemed to completely understand it. Like two halves to one whole.
Could he be threatening his friend? As he watched Stevie, he saw how much harder it was for Stevie to breathe when someone was smoking around her. The smoke often triggered asthma attacks that left Stevie pale and shaky for hours. Sometimes just the smoke and smell that lingered on him was enough to send Stevie into an asthma attack if Bucky unexpectedly leaned on her or got too close.
And worse of all, Stevie never complained. She was so grateful to have friends and so worried about losing them, that she'd never said a word illustrating how difficult the smoking was making life for her.
Bucky glared at the lollipops in his hand. His worry for Stevie led to him buying the stupid lollipops and quitting smoking, cold turkey. No matter the feedback from his men. This was important. Besides, his mother would probably be happier in the afterlife if she knew he had quit the habit she had always hated.
Stevie glanced up from her drawing as she heard Bucky cuss out Jim; Bucky had been grumpy recently. All of the Commandos had been.
Stevie knew it all started when Bucky quit smoking. Once the leader decided smoking was no longer cool, most of the other Commandos also quit. She didn't know why Bucky did it, but she appreciated it. It was hard enough for Stevie to catch her breath when Bucky smiled at her, let alone with a cloud of smoke around him too.
Bucky was tired and sick, but when he saw Stevie breathe deeply and shoot him a smile, he knew it was all worth it.
Author's note: This is a revised posting of my story. It was originally posted on Fanfiction.net under my same pen name there Danny-Shells. This story is not stolen; I am the same author on both sites. Lollipops and Smoking was originally posted when I was a young teenager. I decided that nearly ten years later, it deserved an update. Additionally, I'm hoping to turn it into a series instead of a stand alone one-shot. We shall see!