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He heard his name being called.

 

Yuri~

 

Except it wasn't his name. He watched nervously as his idol, his crush, his world walked by talking to Yuri. Yuri Plisetsky.

 

Who was he kidding? This entire Grand Prix was a disaster. Yuuri Katsuki went in with so much anxiety. He felt like everything was against him, so he tucked away for a bit of eating, something that brought him comfort not thanks to his parents. He just hoped this mini weight gain wouldn’t hold him back.

 

But then…

 

Vicchan died.

 

Grief and depression kicked in before his performance and with his mind upset, not being there for his dog, his beloved four legged friend whom he named after his idol, as the pup passed away. He got the call before he went on and he held back tears as he attempted his best, even setting a record for himself.  But behind closed doors in his hotel room, the flood gates opened up. Yuuri wept.

 

The next day, the grief was thick. He informed his coach of what happened and still went out to do his best. 

 

6th place. Dead last. His first Grand Prix, wasted.

 

Viktor Nikiforov is the champion again

 

Yuuri felt like dirt. 

 

Going into the bathroom to wash his face and accept his defeat, he called his family. They still supported him and hoped he'd do better in the next competitions so he could make it to Worlds. He hoped too. He knew Vicchan was watching him.

 

A harsh kick against the stall door scared him and he quickly cleaned himself up. In front of him was Yuri Plisetsky, the junior Grand Prix champion.

 

Russians. He thought.

 

He had barely understood the thickly accented English coming out from the teen's mouth but he knew it was a challenge. The teen would be moving to the senior division the season after the next, so it was a legitimate challenge. Yuuri just stood there confused. 

 

Now as he watched his idol at the rink’s lobby casually talking to the other Yuri, not him, the beautiful snowy Russian saw him and looked back with his smile that was for the fans.

 

"A commemorative photo?"

 

The words hit Yuuri like a katana. Did Viktor not know who he was? Did Viktor not even know anything about his crash and burn? Or that they actually competed against each other? 

 

Not wanting to face him, his heart crushed and shattered, he turned away, ignoring the calls from his reporter acquaintance.

 

The following morning he woke to a headache and a twisted stomach. He remembered going to the banquet later in the evening, but what happened was all a blur until he really woke up. He could feel his body ache like he did more than just the competitions, or he landed too hard on the ice jump after jump. Rolling over, his eyes growing wide and in shock. He was in bed with his idol.

 

The beautiful 5 consecutive Grand Prix winner Viktor Nikiforov was peacefully asleep next to him as if the world didn’t exist. His long lashes covered his eyes, his white skin glowing in the pale light of the morning sun that was starting to creep in. His soft hair falling onto the pillow.

 

Anxiety, embarrassment and guilt flooded into Yuuri's brain all at once. He needed to get out of there and leave, fast. This was going to create a scandal, and his career was done for. He quietly and quickly gathered his things and got dressed, booking it out of the hotel room and down the hall to his. It was early morning so no one was awake yet. He let out a frustrated sigh as tears started to sting the corners of his eyes. He just wanted to go home. He's ruined everything.

 

*******

Yuuri breathed in that fresh Hasetsu air as he left through the airport. He missed home and was glad to be back. He gathered his bags and started his trek home. He could've grabbed a taxi, but he really needed the time to think. 

 

His family didn't know he was home early. In fact they didn't know a lot, but soon they would. 

 

After the GPF, Yuuri's life took a 90° turn. For the worse or better? He didn't know yet. He competed one more time at Nationals but didn’t make it to Four Continents or Worlds. With that result, it only added to his depression. He thought long and hard about his situation and that maybe this whole time he wasn't cut out for skating in the big leagues. The japanese skater did see himself as a failure to his country and the sport, no matter how much his friend, Phichit Chulanont, told him he was doing good for what's been happening in his life. 

 

But really what good was there? Vicchan was gone, his parents were busy with the onsen, his sister Mari was helping too while living her own life. They weren't rich enough for him to take his parents with him to these events. He failed his first Grand Prix, got challenged by the Russian Yuri, had a drunken, forgotten, one night stand with his idol and now…

 

He placed a hand on his stomach. 

 

The truth to that whole mess was still having him in shock but he should've expected it. Unprotected drunk sex when you're a carrier who isn't on birth control as a personal choice can lead to something serious. 

 

That something: A baby. 

 

Yuuri had been sick before his last competition and his failure led to the end of his season. It threw him off, didn't give him any rest and he barely pushed through before the anxiety got to him. He chalked it up to reliving some of the thoughts of his last event which was the Grand Prix. 

 

At Nationals he nearly passed out on the ice. Celestino had to help him off the ice and into the back where he did pass out for a few minutes before waking up with athletic doctors looking him over. He was dehydrated, malnourished, and anemic. They sent him to the emergency room where they did testing and checked his vitals. Nothing was good. 

 

He begged the doctors to not call his parents. He was 23 and living on his own in a foreign country. Surely this medical mishap he could handle. They complied and listened to his wishes and got him hooked up to the machine. He laid back, finally resting. He could feel his body getting lighter and more alive. Celestino came in to visit to let him know he redirected the press to another upcoming skater so his health was hidden. 

 

It had been 20 minutes and the doctor returned. Celestino went to excuse himself.

"Well Mr. Katsuki, I am surprised you're still skating."

 

"I wanted to give it my best." Yuuri sheepishly replied.

 

"And I applaud you for that. What was the score in your last performance?"

 

"Nothing too high to get me qualified, but why are you asking?"

 

"Because if you did get qualified, I would have to make you forfeit."

 

"F-forfeit?. 

 

"Well the decision is up to Mr. Katsuki, but seeing as you are currently 11 weeks pregnant, if you still wish to go through an abortion you would still need a month or longer to recover. Not just physically, but emotionally."

 

Yuur’s stomach jumped in his throat at the doctor's words. 

 

"We'll be keeping you overnight just to make sure you're in good shape. Please think seriously about this Mr. Katsuki. Male carriers are at high risk when it is decided to keep the child. It'll be lesser of a chance to have another, if you plan to have another, if you decide to go through with the abortion."

 

"Right." 

 

Yuuri swallowed as the doctor quickly checked on his saline bags then left him alone. Yuuri tried to breathe. 

 

Anxiety returned.

 

"Oh Kami-sama… what have I done?"

 

Flashing back to the present, Yuuri tried to think of the positives about his choices. He was able to transfer his classes online while he finished out the school year and next year he would attend a local community college that took college credit from a foreign school. Another positive was that he was home early. He could spend the days in the onsen, being close to his family and thinking about his returning season. The Japanese skater still had yet to inform the officials about his upcoming off season, but with his last appearance at Nationals, he would be fine. Lastly on the forefront of his mind, the real reason why he came home.

 

He placed a hand on his stomach again, already feeling the gentle curve. He chose to keep the baby. He had the option about having an abortion but the whole thing about it felt wrong to do. The child was innocent, he was an idiot for getting blackout drunk ( Thanks Otousan ) and Yuuri figured that taking a break might do him good. He could focus on something else rather than skating and his failures of a dream. 

 

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and he dug it out. Phichit’s name popped up on screen. He had a feeling this would happen.

 

“YUURI!” His name screamed at him over the phone and he had to move it away from his ear. 

 

“Hello Phichit…”

 

“Did you make it back to Japan okay?”

 

Yuuri nodded although his friend couldn’t see it. “Yes, I did, landed about an hour ago. I’m just making my way home.”

 

“Are you taking a taxi?”

 

“No, I’m walking home.”

 

“Yuuri!” Phichit shouted. “You better not be carrying anything heavy!”

 

The japanese man rolled his eyes. 

 

After his visit in the hospital and his return to Detroit, he and Phichit had a few days before the Thai skater had to go to his competition. Yuuri didn’t want to say anything, but the smell of Phichit’s Pad Thai made him gag and he ended up throwing up for the next 10 minutes. 

 

“Yuuri what is going on?”

 

“Ugh. Promise me you won’t tell anyone this. No social media or any of our skater friends.” He managed to say after he felt his stomach settle. 

 

“Uh, sure.” Phichit toned down his worry, knowing that Yuuri rarely got serious. 

 

“I’m… pregnant.”

 

Phichit’s phone slipped out of his hand and his mouth was open in shock. 

 

“I’m 11 weeks along.” Yuuri added. 

 

Phichit dropped to his knees, his mind trying to collect all the evidence and gossip he collected. Yuuri could see his mind dancing behind his eyes. So he waited until the younger college student gasped. 

 

“YUURI!” He shot back up to his feet. “VIKTOR!”

 

Yuuri let out a small chuckle. 

 

“You got so drunk at the banquet, the dancing and then he went and talked to you… then you two left and Russian Yuri said Viktor was scoring… then you looked so nervous in the morning.” Another large gasp.  “YOU FUCKED VIKTOR!?”

 

“Shhh! Phichit!” Yuuri didn’t want to disturb the neighbors. “Yes, I think I did! I don’t remember a lot, I was drunk and I woke up next to him. I don’t remember dancing, I don’t remember talking to him, I don’t remember sleeping with him!” Yuuri stood up, feeling a little better. “Though there was evidence when I woke up.”

 

“You were all over Viktor at that banquet. I had never seen you fanboy so hard.” Phichit giggled. “You were hanging off of him and begging him to be your coach.”

 

“No!” Yuuri’s turn to gasp. 

 

“Mmhm! You were half dressed and seducing him hard . I had never seen the man blush so hard.”

 

Yuuri covered his face with his hands. He was now dying of embarrassment months later. He sat on the bathtub edge and tried to calm himself down. Phichit took a seat next to him and rubbed his back. 

 

“Are you going to tell him?”

 

“I can’t!” He instantly answered. “I don’t have his contact information and I can’t burden him with this and the scandal! Phichit! Everyone’s going to think I’m a whore, having already failed my first ever Grand Prix and now I’m having his baby. It makes me sound desperate.”

 

“Hey, stop that!” Phichit lightly hit Yuuri’s dark hair. “No more bad thoughts. This was clearly an accident, unintentional. The only ones you should worry about are Viktor's fangirls, but then again you are like the biggest one I know. So you could boast that you got to lay the Viktor Nikiforov.”

 

That made the japanese male laugh a little. 

 

“I’m going to transfer my credits to a community school back home and finish school online. I’m hoping to go online since the new school year starts in a couple of weeks. School in Japan is harder and year round than here in the US where you can have a Summer off. I’ll probably take next season off to take care of the baby.”

 

“You’re going to be amazing, Yuuri. You’re one of the strongest people I know and my best friend in school and the skating world.” He hugged the newly pregnant male. “You got this.”

 

“I know that, it’s just my carry-on and roller suitcase.”  Yuuri replied to the present Phichit 

 

“Good. Light exercise is good. Just don’t over do it.”

 

“I know, I know. I can see home coming up. Thank you for checking up on me. I’ll talk to you later, yeah?”

 

“Anytime bestie!” Phichit then hung up and Yuuri paused at the entrance of his childhood home and the last onsen in Hasetsu. 

 

He gripped his bags and headed in. The last bit of snow was melting for the season as the warmer weather was heading their way. He always had a key to his house but it was unlocked for business hours. Carefully sliding it open, he hoped to just sneak up to his room but right in the entryway was his mother.

 

“Yuu-chan!”