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Never Have I Ever

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“Are you sure you’re okay with this?,” Mayim has been asking Jonathan for the nth time. “I can still call it off if it doesn’t make you feel comfortable.” Jonathan just smiled and said, “Your fans have been requesting for this episode since we launched the podcast. This will turn out to be an amazing episode,” telling Mayim with an assuring voice. He just could not point out why he felt a little jealous of Jim. He never met him personally. He was there when Mayim was collaborating with him with Call Me Kat. He knows Jim messages her now and then just to say hi. And he is happily married to Todd. Maybe just the silly thought of people hoping for them to be together for the longest time, and all those times they have spent on the Big Bang Theory set, or maybe how Mayim talks about him so fondly. And out of the blue, Mayim kissed him on the lips pulling him out of his thoughts. “Thank you so much for making this happen, babe!” she told him before she went to the front door to open it. “Is my mind that occupied to not notice the doorbell ringing?,” Jonathan said to himself as he stood up from the couch to accompany Mayim to open the door.

As Mayim turns the knob to open the door, Jonathan lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding on his way to the door. “Jim!!!,” Mayim shouted out of glee. “It’s been more than a year! I missed you!” She hugged Jim, wrapping her hands around his neck and tiptoeing to reach this very tall man. “Hi, Mayim. I missed you too. So much,” Jim said softly as he hugged her back around her waist tightly. It felt like it has been forever since they last saw each other. Oh, how much he missed having to be around her. Mayim lets go, and took a step back. She held Jonathan on one of his forearms with both of her hands and introduced him to Jim. “This is Jonathan, my very own poet and writer, the Ernie to my Bert, and most importantly, the love of my life,” she said smiling, with her voice filled with a mix of love and teasing. Jim extended his hand to shake Jonathan’s, “I have heard so much about you! I am so glad to finally meet you in the flesh!” Jonathan extended his hand to accept Jim’s, and he smiled back at him saying, “The pleasure is mine. I have heard nothing but good things about you!”

Mayim lets him in the podcast studio, giving him a quick tour as Jonathan checks the camera and the technicals before they start. This podcast episode is a special one, millions of Mayim and Jim’s fans have been requesting it for a while. They set up a couch where the hosts are seated next to each other while they face Jim. Jim laughs as he jokingly tells them, “Is this a podcast or a talk show?” Mayim laughed hysterically and said, “It’s a special podcast episode for a special person,” followed by a wink that Mayim used to give him every time they tease each other on set. “Well, I feel so honored, and I will try my best not to disappoint!” “Before we start, would you want water, coffee, tea, juice (followed by a long pause) or me?” Mayim said seductively followed by another frantic laughter. Jonathan can’t help but feel a twist in his stomach when he hears this. He knows Mayim was just kidding but he can’t help it. Jim on the other hand was laughing with her, he is very much used to Mayim’s jokes but responded, “Tea please! “Sheldon” would love some tea,” he said, winking back. “But no! I am not feeling sad. It’s just a little chilly outside and a warm drink would be nice,” he said before she would correct him about tea being Sheldon’s go-to-drink when someone is sad. Mayim went to Jonathan’s desk to ask him the same. And to her surprise, he stood up and answered, “You, always you!” before kissing her on the lips and smiling. Mayim was surprised. He kisses her a lot, but mostly when it is just the two of them. PDA in front of someone is more of her thing than him. She has an idea why, but she just smiled and kissed him back and said, “Tea, it is!”

Mayim leaves the studio to grab them drinks, Jim turns to Jonathan smiling, “Hey, nice beard!” Jonathan’s face lits up and said, “Thanks! I am having thoughts of shaving it, but Mayim loves it too much, and I have been taking care of it for a while” “ I can’t grow any, Todd likes my face clean as well, but I know Mayim has a thing for beards. So I say you keep it!”, Jim said smiling. “How was your flight by the way? Did you just arrive this morning?” Jonathan asked to engage in a conversation and try to get to know Jim better. “Yes, I did. Your invitation and a meeting tomorrow arrived the same day. I couldn’t say no to Mayim, and since I will be in LA anyway, we both thought, hey! why not just do the first in-person episode, you know what I mean?”, Jim answers. “We are really glad you responded to our invitation. Mayim has been so excited,” Jonathan replied. Jim has been thinking of asking more things about Mayim when she stepped back in prompting them to take their places for them to begin.

The interview began smoothly, with Mayim introducing Jim. He couldn’t help but blush when someone talks about his achievements. Jim was a little nervous at first. He knows he has had interviews about his personal life. He had been straightforward and open however much he needed to. In any case, this is Mayim, she has her method of causing individuals to spill out their spirits to her, particularly him. She just needs to bat those lashes and show him her emerald eyes, and all his defenses are off. Who can say for sure what she winds up asking him? Yet, this is Mayim, she knows how to ask carefully and with deference. No matter how much they say their relationship is platonic, he does find her attractive. He knows Mayim felt the same way too. He can't resist the urge to ponder, as he gazes at Mayim, If she wasn’t with that awful man during her time in the Big Bang Theory, could there have been something that transpired between them? Jim was observing the two and there was this ephemeral moment when Jonathan and Mayim shared an intimate look. Jim knows that this man is perfect for her. He’s been through dinner with Mayim’s shit of an ex-boyfriend before and Jonathan’s different. Jim could see how her eyes would glow when she stared at him and the way she held his hands even if the camera couldn’t see it. This is a different Mayim, a happier, more radiant version because of the man that sits beside her.

Jim was brought in, and he and Mayim began their conversation. It resembles companions simply getting up to speed, without the camera or the mic. Jonathan felt the lightness in the air. It was the same glee in Mayim’s voice and mood that she had when she interviewed Iliza, minus the fangirling and the constant, “She’s my friend,” that she keeps saying whenever she can. Even her talk with Kunal was just different from Jim’s, as these two worked side by side for the past nine to ten years. They have an extraordinary and profound bond. Jim is very famous and successful but he is so down to earth; Jonathan realizes why Mayim speaks so highly of him. As the interview progressed, Jonathan felt more at ease, and all the tension and jealousy that was bothering him all this time was for naught. He joined in with the jokes that Mayim and Jim are tossing at each other, as Mayim would always joke, they are social chameleons. They were all just having fun with their conversation that they did not realize they had been talking for over an hour.

As the interview was about to come to an end, heavy rain started pouring. There was a thunderstorm warning, which they thought wouldn’t be around until later that night. Mayim asked where Jim was staying while he was in town, to which he replied, at Beverly Wilshire. His hotel is just on the other side of the canyon, it will take him only 20 to 30 mins to drive back. But she was worried that the road heading back has a lot of zig-zags, narrow and dark, which will make it hard and unsafe to drive in this kind of weather. “Hey, Jim do you have to be somewhere tonight?” she asked. “No, not really. I was just planning to sleep after my long flight, but I don’t have to meet anyone or do anything,” he replied. Jonathan felt the care and worry in Mayim’s words without even having to ask her, so he joined in the conversation, “Why don’t you just stay with us for now, at least until the weather gets better? We are done for the day anyway, and I will not be editing until tomorrow. Besides, you two haven’t seen each other for a while, and it would be nice to be able to have a conversation without a camera or a mic,” he said reassuringly. “And if the weather gets worse, you can always stay for the night,” he added. Mayim nodded to agree. “You are always welcome here, Jim. And yes, I would be more at ease to know you’re safe than let you drive in this horrible weather,” Mayim said, smiling with hopeful eyes that Jim would accept. “Also, don’t worry, Jonathan isn’t vegan, so you don’t have to worry about me just serving you vegan dinner while you’re here,” she said laughing. “We can just have food delivered, I’m sure everyone else is starving because I am!” she said while getting her phone to order food. “Okay, okay, you two win! Thank you for the offer. It is nice to spend more time with friends while in town than just be alone in my room now. And this weather? not a fan.”

The conversation over dinner continued as they sat in the living room over scotch and whiskey. Jim excused himself to call Todd just to tell him how he is doing and to wish him good night since it’s already late in New York. Mayim cuddles on Jonathan’s lap while they sit on the sofa. “I am proud of you, babe. I know you are the one anxious before this interview, which is usually my dilemma,” and kissed him passionately. Jonathan smiled and responded, “He is not so bad after all. No wonder you are so fond of him.” Jonathan said teasingly and resumed kissing her. He almost forgot that they had a guest, they were already caressing each other caressing her face and fondling her bottom. Mayim started chuckling and said, “Jim is still here you know?,” to which Jonathan said, “Let him see us,” and raised both his eyebrows repeatedly. Mayim could feel his bulge pressing against her bottom as they continued kissing. “You know, I have to keep sitting on your lap to hide the now awake, ‘little JC’, right?,” Mayim whispers. “Who said I’ll let you sit anywhere else?” Jonathan said, biting her lower lip. Then they started laughing uncontrollably when Jim went back to the room and said, “What did I miss?”

Jim seats on the other end of the sofa, facing them. The room is filled with laughter as Jonathan and Jim get to know each other more, and Mayim talks about the times they were working together. They didn’t notice the time and how they'd already finished the bottle of scotch and were about to finish the bottle of whiskey when Mayim stood up to grab another bottle from the pantry. From across the room, Jim shouted, “Hey, do you remember the episode where Sheldon and Amy played “Never have I ever” with Leonard and Penny in a cabin? You want to play that?”

“I don’t know Jim, you might be wasted tonight with the things you’ve already done that we haven’t!'' Mayim said teasingly.
“What made you think I wouldn’t be the one wasted after that game?” Jonathan joined in.
“Or worse, it is her who would be wasted!” Jim responded.
And the two guys started laughing. With a new scotch bottle with one hand and a bucket of ice with the other, Mayim gave both the guys a challenging look, “Let’s see who gets wasted first! I am sure that is not me!”
She went back to sit on Jonathan’s lap and whispered, “Prepare to be drunk tonight, babe!” Jonathan knows Mayim is just bluffing, He knows there was a time in her life that she could outdrink an experienced sailor, but it’s been a while since she drank socially.

Maybe it’s the alcohol or they’re both comfortable with Jim that they have no hesitations with kissing in front of him now. “Hey! You two get a room!” He said teasingly with a big smile on his face. “Okay let’s start the game! I’ll start. “Never have I ever got a tattoo,” Jim said with an evil grin on his face.
“Hey, no fair! You know I’m the only one here with a tattoo!,” Mayim protested.
“Babe, you know the rules, drink!” Jonathan told her, smiling.
“Are you two plotting to get me drunk?,” more protesting from Mayim’s side.
“No, we are just playing the game, fair and square,” Jim said pointing at her glass, directing her to just drink and quit talking.
Mayim initially hesitated but took a sip anyway.
“Never have I ever flashed someone,” Jonathan said with a smirk on his face.
“Come on! Did you two make a bet to get me drunk first?” Mayim protested once more.
“No we didn’t, but since you brought it up, hey Jonathan, 100USD. I bet you, I can make Mayim wasted first with my questions before you do!” Jim takes his wallet out to bring out a hundred to start the bet.
“200USD, and it would be my questions,” Jonathan said, taking out his wallet as well. And both of the guys are almost out of breath laughing.
“400USD and I can make you both wasted before me!” Mayim said, challenging both of the guys. The two looked at each other and at the same time shouted, “Deal!”

“My turn! Never have I ever kissed a woman on the lips that are NOT work-related”, Mayim said with a grin.
“Oooh, she’s good!” Jim said laughing and raising his glass to make a toast with Jonathan.
“That’s my girl!” Jonathan said, kissing her on the cheek before clinking his glass with Jim and taking a shot.
“Never have I ever gotten back with an ex,” said Jim. Mayim and Jonathan just laughed, they know they’ve been both on that road.
“I thought we were both just getting Mayim drunk?” Jonathan said laughing towards Jim.
Jim raises both his hands in surrender, saying, “Hey, I wouldn’t know!”
“Never have I ever sent a sexy selfie, work or non-work related,” Jonathan blurted out.
Jim and Mayim both sipped from their glass.
“Sexy selfie, huh?,” Mayim said laughing as she teases Jim.
“You’re not the only one who’s allowed to send nasty stuff!” Jim said defensively.
“How come I didn’t get one?” Mayim said laughing.
“I can send you one right now!” Jim said with a smile and confidence in his voice.
He was about to reach his phone when Mayim just burst out laughing, and Jonathan said, “I want to see that too!”

The night was filled with laughter, and none of the three wanted it to end.
Mayim shouted, “Never have I ever had to hide a love bite!”
Jim followed, “Never have I ever role played,”
And Jonathan remarked, Never have I ever done the walk of shame,”
All three looked at each other, and altogether they shouted, “Bottoms up!”

Series of questions were fired at each other, and no one would admit that they’re already tipsy.
“How about we make this more interesting? How about for the next series of questions, if one of us hasn't done the deed, they would do it here and now, if it’s possible to do it,” Jim asked the couple. “Take it off your Never-Done-List!,” he added with a shrug.

“That sounds risky! The question is, would you do it if we challenge you with something risky?” Mayim said, playing with her eyebrows suggestively.
“Oh, don’t challenge me, Mayim. You know I can be down with anything if I want to,” Jim fired back.

Mayim thought for a while, and fought not to end up laughing before she could even say her line, “Never have I ever given a lap dance!” Mayim and Jim took a sip. Jonathan’s face turned beet-red after realizing that he had to do a lap dance for the both of them! Mayim curled on her stomach as she couldn't hold her laughter any longer. Jim played a sexy tune on his phone to tease Jonathan to start dancing and check the lap dance off his never-have-I-ever-list. His eyes widened and his face turned scarlet when Jonathan complied and started grinding and shaking his ass in front of him, trying to imitate moves from the movie, ‘Magic Mike’. “Channing Tatum got nothing against me,” he said with confidence and moving his way towards Mayim, who giggles uncontrollably and plays along with her beau. Jim whistles to encourage him some more.

When the music stops playing, Jonathan stops grinding and he sits lankily on the sofa and jokingly tells the two, “Never will I ever do that again! My back is too old for that kind of dance!” he said before bursting out with laughter. “But what if I want you to do that in a private session with me?,” Mayim teases him and gives him her signature puppy eyes. “You’re lucky I do yoga, then! But slow movements, nothing that fast!” he said, winking.

“Never have I ever made out with two different people on the same day,” Jim said, hoping to toast with everyone. Jim and Jonathan took a sip and Mayim didn’t.
“Wait, you’ve never played seven minutes in heaven before?'' Jim asked her curiously.
“I’m a late bloomer! You know that!” Mayim retorted.
“Do I get to kiss you both now?” Mayim teases with a smirk, thinking Jonathan would say no and stop the game there.
“Babe, it’s not like you haven’t kissed him before,” Jonathan remarked smiling.
“You don’t mind?,” Mayim asked with both eyes wide open
“Hey! Canadians are very cool and open-minded people,” he said reassuringly.
Mayim is already too tipsy to protest, so she crawled her way to Jim.

Jim cups her cheek and kisses her gently. He drags her lips along her jawline before planting another breathless kiss on her lips. Mayim bit his lower lip and smiled slightly when she could tell just how much he enjoys it. His hands run up her waist. Jim's eyes are dark with a haze of lust. His lips continue to crash into hers in a searing kiss, with him pushing his tongue inside, possessively holding her, tasting her. Mayim bites and nips his lips in return, and Jim growls and sucks on her lower lips. Mayim grips the collar of his shirt and pulls him as close as she can. As they break their kiss, Jim whispers, “ do you have any idea how long I’ve been imagining this?” Jim nibbles her ear before he moves to kiss her neck. She tilts her head back and moans when he sucks on the sensitive spot below her ear. Mayim murmurs his name and tugs his hair. His tongue expertly sweeps against hers, as if they’re making up for the lost time. Mayim looks at Jim’s eyes, there is raw emotion in them, and when she pressed one palm against his chest, she can hear his heart beating wildly.

Mayim crawled back to Jonathan, straddling him again. She notices that his pupils are dilated, and his lips part in expectation. She blushes, as he pulls her closer with his hands on her ass. She leaned in and pressed kisses on his neck, feeling him shudder beneath him. She pressed up tightly against his body that she could feel a bulge forming in his pants. He presses his forehead to her’s and shudders. Their kisses were hot, frantic as heat filled their veins. Jonathan nips her ear and drags his lips along her jaw as her hips thrust, feeling his warm breath burns her as her heart climbs up, beating like a drum inside her throat. He grabs her lower lip between his teeth and tugs. His lips are hot and soft, and his tongue teases hers in a tantalizing pattern. His hands run down her sides as she grabs his neck and traces her tongue in his mouth. The kiss becomes messy with their heightened passion. That kiss took both their breath away.

“That was hot,” Jonathan whispered before Mayim moved her face away from him. She maintained her position, straddling him. They both stared at each other as if they’re agreeing about something unspoken. Jim could swear that he could see Jonathan grin from his side, before Jonathan would turn to look at him and said, “Never have I ever had a threesome.” As if waiting for someone else to take a gulp, Jim took a few seconds before he drank from his glass. This is something he and Todd enjoy on special occasions. And before he could even defend himself, Mayim looked his way and said, “Never have I ever wanted to try a threesome with someone in this room,” and the couple both drank from their glasses, and so did Jim. Mayim saw Jim’s Adam's apple bobbing up and down with a twinkle of approval from Jim’s eyes. Mayim stood up and made her way to him, about to explain and tell him that it is okay if he doesn’t want to, and if Todd wouldn’t allow it, it is completely fine not to push through with the dare. But the moment she sat beside him, Jim grabbed her left jaw and gave her a peck before looking into her eyes and assuring her that he would love to. He looks at Jonathan who smiles at him back as he takes his shirt off. No words needed to be said.

Jim pulls Mayim in for a deep kiss. She wraps her arms around his shoulders to get him closer, and she opens her mouth to invite him in. He takes the invitation, turning the kiss much more heated. She straddles him and sits on his lap as his warm lips brush against hers with every movement, his hands start to roam. She sweeps her tongue across his lower lip before sliding into his mouth as she enjoys the fact that he isn't holding back. She pushes her body closer against him to grind her hips against his thickening member. Jim groans and cups her butt, encouraging her to continue rolling her hips. Jim’s face darkens with heat. He draws her closer with hands around her waist before they travel down. At his hard body, Mayim feels the desire that pools within her. Mayim’s handshakes as she rests it against his toned chest, but Jim scoops her into his arms and carries her towards the bedroom before dropping her on the bed. He stood up to take his clothes off.

Jonathan touches the side of her hip and whispers in her ears, “Let me pleasure you,” which sends shivers down her spine. “Do it,” Mayim said without holding back. He draws her closer with hands around her waist before they travel down. Jonathan kneels, slowly pulling the fabric that is covering her core with his teeth slowly as his beard tickles her inner thigh as he slowly buries his face between her legs. She moans at the first touch of his wet tongue. She spreads her legs apart as Jonathan traces circles with his tongue around her opening. He spreads her with his fingers and sweeps his tongue inside her. He nibbles the skin and kisses the spots, knowing just where to touch her. “More,” she whispers.

While Jonathan is doing wonders with his tongue, Jim’s hands find their way to her breasts, warming the flesh beneath his palms. “This has to go,” Jim tells her with a raspy-breathy voice. He tugs at her bra and sucks her breast, making her moan in the process, while the cold air and his warm mouth alternately touch her skin. Jim begins to undress her. Mayim ran her hands along Jim’s hard member, he stifled a gasp as her hand cups him, and she could feel the thick erection against her palm. “Yours is wanting to be free as well,” she said in a moan. Mayim grips his base and gives him a slow pump. She gently squeezes as she watches how he reacts, aware of every detail. She applies firm pressure as her hand grinds against him. Jonathan’s tongue slides inside of her as soon as she demands it. She gasps at the welcome intrusion. He draws his tongue upwards and sucks on her small pleasure point, making her clench. She arches her back to get him nearer. Jonathan rocks into her, putting more and more pressure against the spot. Mayim props her foot up his shoulder to give him more access, and he lavishes her with sucks, kisses, and licks. Jonathan pulls away and kisses her stomach. “That’s my girl.”

Mayim turns over, now on her hands and knees facing Jonathan. Jonathan watches as she deftly undoes his pants and pulls them down to expose his boxer briefs. The outline of Jonathan’s member strains the fabric. She instructed him to take it off and was quickly tossed somewhere on the floor. She licks her lips suggestively, and she hears him groan in frustration. She then bowed down to her elbows, and pressed a small kiss to the tip, making him moan deeply. She sucked his velvety length into her mouth. She begins a steady rhythm with her hand and mouth, moving up and down his length, massaging him playfully with her tongue. She peeks up at him to find him watching her with unabashed desire. Jim lines himself with her opening, kneeling behind her, as his face darkened with lust. Jim grabs her waist, and in one thrust, his thick member fills her entirely. “Ah…”, she gasps. She clenched around him, feeling him entirely. Encouraged by her moans, Jim kisses all the skin he could reach as his fingers reach for her nub, rubbing it as his hips flex faster. Jonathan wraps his hand on her hair, moving it out of her face, as her sucking becomes more intense. “Mayim,” he moans her name before biting his lip. She pulls him out of her mouth and licks him from base to tip. No part of him goes untouched by her mouth. Mayim’s chest is heaving as fire pools between her legs. She cups Jonathan and sucks hard, eliciting another deep groan at the same time, she rocks against Jim, moaning at the deep penetration it allows as she gasps and writhes at the fullness. Soon enough, she could feel her climax bubbling under her skin, and heat shoots within her as she begins to lose her finesse, and all she could think about is her orgasm. She grabbed Jonathan’s butt and continued to drag her tongue against his hot flesh. He whispers her name again. His hips begin to roll, pushing him deeper into her mouth. He is so close to his climax. “I’m there,” he whispers. She wraps her lips around the tip of him and gently squeezes his length with her hand. When she sucks, he comes undone. The second her mouth is free, Jim uses the opportunity to ride her harder. He hits a spot in her that had her gasping and it’s all she needed to push her over the edge. Shivers shoot down her spine as she clenches around him, leading him to enjoy his own waves of pleasure. She wildly grinds against Jim as the waves crash over them. Mayim’s body shakes with pleasure as she comes. Jim kisses her back as he pumps for the last few times before he collapses on top of her, and in turn, she falls straight to Jonathan’s arms.

Jim rolls over, lies next to Mayim, and Jonathan on the other side. Mayim reached for both of the men’s hands, entwining her fingers with theirs, and they’re all still breathing heavily. “That was wild!”, Mayim said, laughing. “My mind is trying to make sense of what just happened”, she added. “Au contraire!”, Jonathan rebutted, “fucking you, or in this case with you, is one of the rare things that makes perfect sense in my life”. Mayim turns her head over at Jim, who stares at her with adoration, and he said, “so, this is how we end the night with a “Bang”, he said trying his best not to burst out laughing before he could even finish what to say.

“No one. I repeat, NO ONE, blushes when we go live after we launch your episode!”, Mayim teases the two. “Or else, what?” Jim responded with a smirk. “Or else, he or she dances like magic mike in front of the live audience!”, Jonathan teases, wanting a payback after that embarrassing dance he just performed earlier. “Prepare your steps then, babe!”, Mayim teases him. “Hey! Never have I ever slept naked and sandwiched between two gorgeous men”, Mayim tells the two. “I have to drink then!”, Jim said laughing. Mayim closes her eyes to feel the sensation of Jim and Jonathan’s warm skin next to her. And all three dozed off to sleep, all bets forgotten, knowing they’re all sober, and the memory of this night will be remembered.

—END—