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A New Ranking System, plus Dragon Smut.

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The following is a guide to the VoreDrake-Dzamie metric for instant identification. Please be aware that this is still a work in progress, and is subject to change.

For any given Fic, there will be a five number identifier that takes the following format:

 

1:2:3:4::5

 

The positions of the numbers correspond to the Following Catagories:

 

Sex : Sluttieness : Vore : Possibility :: Total Divergance from Canon

 

Where each number describes a level of prominence in the fic as listed below.


Sex:
0 - Completely Chase
1 - Suggestive Themes
2 - Mentions or descriptions of Sex
3 - Sex
4 - Use of any sexual aids or fetishes
5 - Explicit, kinky sex


Sluttiness:
0 - Completely Professional
1 - Completely Friendly
2 - Flirty
3 - Closed Group Flirty
4 - Open group Flirty
5 - Complete Polyamourus Flirt


Vore:
0 - Standard Meals and Standard Description
1 - Emphasized description of eating
2 - Explicit description of biting
3 - Hungry gazes and teasing
4 - Incomplete Vore
5 - Complete Vore


Possibility:
0 - Physics Compliant
1 - Can't prove it can't happen
2 - Convenient Physics
3 - Impossible Geometry and Physiology
4 - Impossible Physics
5 - Merlin, pass me the Alien AU Salt

 

Total Divergence from Canon:

Average the four values by adding all values together, and dividing by 4. Round up to the nearest tenth.

 

For example, a 0:0:0:0::0 fic would fit perfectly into the Canon timeline and be suitable for production and release by Dreamworks.

See any genaric fix-fic.


A 5:0:0:0::1.4 fic would have a complete emphasis on Sex, or rather, a fic that only focuses on fucking, and is otherwise bland.

This is an example of porn-no-plot, porn-what-plot fiction.

 

     Astrid snaps her whip across Hiccup's leather-covered ass, guaranteeing a welt will grow underneath. She looks around at her other toys: her Shelf of Dildoes, her Rack of Torture Devices, and her Cage of Denial. She should probably let him cum soon. Or not. Hiccup wiggles under her well-placed blows. Sitting down next to him, she rubs her gloved hand over his ass, making sure to message in all of the pain she just delivered. "Hey babe?"

"MMphh?" Hiccup mutters form behind his hood.

"I changed my mind. The cage stays on for another week. You can cum then."

"Mmmmmmmmmphhhhhhhhh!"


A 0:5:0:0::1.4 fic would have a complete emphasis on Sluttiness.

This is an example of porn-wait-what?, porn-wheres-the-porn? fiction, or rather, a fic that only focuses on sluttieness, and is otherwise clean.

 

Hiccup's hair blows dramatically as Toothless places several sustained gusts of air for his dramatic effect. His hips wobble seductively as he saunters into the clearing, gaining the attention of the Dragons and Humans in the area. Astrid and Heather stop cleaning the claws on the table in front of them, drinking up the view that made itself available to them. "Hello Ladies," Hiccup purrs, "do you want some help with that Scuttleclaw's scuttled claw?"

"Oh, uh, yes! please!" Heather stammers out. She and Astrid have been gossiping about him just prior, and she felt a blush warm her face as she recalled some of the steamier details.

Hiccup walks in between them, bending over to inspect the claw. His leather flightsuit creaks as he gently sways himself, gaining their eyes on him almost hypnotically. Deft, well-trained fingers flip out a hooked knife as he twirls it around in a show of finesse. In a few quick cuts, he finishes removing the snaggle from the claw. Standing up, he runs his hand under the Dragon's chin. "All done cutie. If you EVER, need help again, I will always, always. Be here to help you." She Dragon squawks as she flies away, happy, and very confused as to what she is feeling.

Turning around, he walks back through the cherry red ladies. "I'll see you two back at the house for dinner, yeah? Don't be late, those sausages won't eat themselves. Though Toothless might..."

(Do you have any idea how hard it is to write a 5 for sluttiness, without anything else? DO YOU?!?)

 


A 0:0:5:0::1.4 fic would have a complete emphasis on Vore.

This is an example of this-isn't-porn-but-I'm-still-into-it?, how-is-this-not-porn? fiction, or rather, a fic that only focuses on Vore, and is otherwise Canon Compliant. With Giant Dragons, that is easy to do.

 

Heather braces herself. Though falling into a Dragon's maw has very little to gain from bracing. Falling safely past the shape teeth, she lands relatively softly on the massive tongue. Gaining her balance as quickly as she can, she attempts to make a mad dash towards her freedom, the edge of the mouth. The teeth snap shut well before she could reach it, and to her growing horror, the giant head begins to tilt backward. "NONONONONONONOTHISISNOTHAPPENINGNOTHAPPENINGTOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-" she begins to slide down the tongue, quickly gaining speed as she hits the back of the throat, and is pushed down into the esophagus. The muscular walls are relentless to her, pushing her slowly down what must be the single longest neck "No... NO! I WON'T BE YOUR DINNER TONIGHT! GET BENT YOU GIANT LIZARD I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU INDIGESTION SO HARD Y-" She stops screaming as she runs out of breath, and realizes that the air that had followed her down escaped in a burp, leaving her neatly squished in a tight, constricting tube. In a moment, she is pushed again out, and falls into the stomach with a splash. 

"Oh, hey Heather! First time?"

Heather stares in disbelief. "HICCUP???"

 

(I will add on to this)


A 0:0:0:5::1.4 fic would have a complete emphasis on Possibility.

This is an example of high fiction, or rather, a fic that only focuses on impossible events, and is otherwise Canon Compliant. Go bat-shit GO JOKER_SHIT CRAZY.

 

Bat-Hiccup stares down Joker-Toothless in the midnight purple rain. Lightning breaks the stalemate as they both rush at each other, exchanging blows and pointed jabs at each other's character flaws. Bat-Hiccup lands a blow on his opponent's face, knocking him away. Joker-Toothless turns towards the NightKnite, smiling a toothless grin. "Ever tell you how I got these scars?" he asks in a helium voice. Bat-Hiccup doubles over laughing as the director calls cut, his exasperation at the two wearing thin.
"Seriously? 11 times. 11 times, and all you have to do is keep a straight face. Heck, you don't even need to do that. Just keep the pose, and we'll CG your mouth into a pained grimace." Hiccup turns towards the reader's camera, stating abruptly "And that is okay because in this dream world our CG artists have a UNION. And I want to see what Astrid can do for my face. I like her work."

"Who are you talking to?"

"Dang it Guys," Astrid pulls off her VR headset, re-entering the world of reason. Her two boyfriends also do the same, still laughing at their antics. "One time. One time we play through LEGO Backlot: DC Edition with Nvidia UltraReal GodRay JTX9999 TI AI enhancements. That is all."

Turning to a window, Toothless' voice coder fills the air with his sing-song digital voice. 
"We do not reach our destination system for 5 more years. We have plenty of time to keep trying." Toothless gazes out into the vastness of space from their slumbering colony ship. "Plenty of time indeed."


A 5:5:5:5::5 fic would have a complete emphasis on every single thing happening in every category.

 

No. I am not writing this tonight. No. You do it.