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173 timelines.
“You’re an analyst, right?”
“Am I supposed to know you?”
“Thanks but sorry, I have a boyfriend.”
“I have no idea what you are talking about and honestly, I don’t care. Shall we go back to my place?”
Loki has heard it all.
Hundreds of Mobius. Young and younger but never old. Never his Mobius.
He has met Mobiuses with locks of burning gold and eyes of cerulean. He has met Mobiuses who wanted to lie with him, no questions asked. He has met Mobiuses with a child on their hips, a husband’s hand twined around their waists.
Yet, not one had known him. Not one had been his own Mobius. Not one Mobius had called out his name with trust that belied all logical explanations.
“I think we have him,” Not-Mobius excitedly told him one day.
Not-Mobius was what Loki called the first Not-Mobius he had met. The man who decided to show him kindness in the midst of the shattered timelines. The first man who had broken his heart in ways Loki didn’t know it could be broken before.
“Who are you? What’s your name?”
This was the man who had also decided to help Loki on his quest to find his Mobius. Not-Mobius kept claiming he did not have any noble intentions though.
“Honestly, I don’t quite know what else to do with myself. I mean, the sacred timeline’s in tatters. You saw the TVA fall in front of your eyes. I cannot keep pretending that I have any control over anything anymore. Also, there’s no one looking for me out there,” he said with a sad smile, “The other Mobius, whoever he is, must be a very lucky man. He has you. And since he’s sorta me, I intend to return you to him. Also, like I said- I have nothing better to do.”
So here they were. 173rd Timeline. Still no trace of Mobius.
“I swear, this is it,” Not-Mobius repeated again when Loki did not reply.
“It never is though, is it?” he finally turned to look at him. The rational part of his brain, the irritating bit, kept telling him the obvious: this was it. This was the end. Mobius was lost. And he had to accept it.
Strangely enough, the stupider part of his brain, the one with unending hope, was always backed up by Not-Mobius.
“I know I’ve been wrong before,” he conceded, “But this is it. Everything points to this. The calculations are all here, look. This has to be it.”
Loki could not help but smile. This Mobius was so very different from his that Loki could not mistake them for each other if he tried. This Mobius was somehow as optimistic as his was cynical. Yet, this Mobius was just as sweet to him, smiled just as kindly… so Loki couldn’t stop the search. Because stopping the search would not just mean the loss of one Mobius but two.
Loki shrugged off his doubts and stood up.
“Sure. Where to this time?”
No, it couldn’t be.
But it was.
But it couldn’t…
“Loki, I can only ensure that you’ll have the room for an hour,” Not-Mobius warned as he gave Loki a gentle shove, “An hour and a half tops. Remember, you have to get him out by that time. You’re a hunted man here. If Ravonna comes back, there’s nothing that I can do…”
“I know,” Loki choked out, “It… it won’t take that long. He already knows about TVA. About the lies. Just… guard the door, will you?”
“Call if you need me,” Not-Mobius offered a brief salute as Loki stepped into the Time Theatre.
It was him. Loki could tell even from this distance. Every Mobius in the world could look alike and Loki would still be able to tell his apart. He knew each wrinkle, each healed scar, each crease in his white shirt.
This was his Mobius sitting at the table, pouring over some case files. He glanced up once without paying much attention before pushing out another chair.
“Oh, do you need this room? I would appreciate it if you didn’t throw me out, my own table’s a mess and I couldn’t concentrate…”
Loki’s eyes were already hazy with tears. This voice, this man. The same hassled look, the same air of busyness.
He wasn’t too surprised that Mobius had not recognized him yet. After all, Loki was dressed as one of the nameless and faceless minutemen.
He gently pulled back the chair and sat facing Mobius who still didn’t look up. It brought an unbidden smile to his lips. Nothing had changed.
“Is Ravonna still chewing you out?” he asked after a minute.
Mobius huffed out a breath. “Like you wouldn’t believe. It’s like she hates me in particular. I mean… I’m sure your squad is working hard too. But I just feel like I have no time to breathe…”
The charade had gone on for too long. Loki wanted Mobius to look at him.
Loki needed Mobius to look at him.
Even with his heart trying to beat out of his chest, he extended a hand to hold Mobius’.
“My friend,” he tried to keep his voice steady, “It’s been too long.”
This time Mobius did look up.
This was the moment. This was the second that those 173 different timelines had been leading up to. Would Mobius laugh out in relief? Would he cry? Would he jump out of the chair to pull Loki in his embrace? Would he…
“Uh… sorry, this is awkward but… have we talked before? I can’t seem to remember your name.”
173 times. Loki has had his hopes shattered and smashed to the ground 173 times.
This time didn’t feel like that. No. This time it felt like someone was slowly but deliberately plunging a dagger into his lung. He couldn’t breathe.
Because this man had to be Mobius. He had to be…
Loki leapt out of his chair and sank down on his knees in front of Mobius.
“Mobius, you know who I am, just please… please just look at me.” He was not above begging at this point. This was Mobius. He knew this was Mobius.
But Mobius was looking at him. And his eyes held nothing but confusion and a hint of suspicion.
“Can you tell me the name of your squad leader by any chance…”
Loki had no choice. He had to do it.
He cradled Mobius’ face in both of his hands.
Sylvie had never really taught him to do it so he had no idea what either Mobius or he was in for but he assumed it could not be very different from digging up people’s memories.
“I’m sorry, Mobius,” he whispered as a last answer to Mobius’ terrified eyes, “We’ll meet soon, my friend.”
The first few glimpses into Mobius’ mind were beige. TVA. Case files. Bland lunches.
Then it happened.
Before Loki could fully realise what he was looking at Mobius started screaming. Loki had never head Mobius cry out like that. Not even when he was being pruned. The agonizing scream went on and on until suddenly it stopped. Loki had assumed anything would be better than that cry but now the silence seemed to suffocate him.
“What are you…” Not-Mobius burst into the room and froze in his tracks at the scene in front of him.
Loki was standing in front of the limp form of another Mobius on the ground.
“Did you…” he couldn’t get his words out how he wanted to. “Did you do all this to… kill him?”
Loki stumbled back initially and then sank into the ground beside Mobius.
“I… he did not remember me. I just wanted to help him…”
Mobius looked on as Loki carefully pulled the prone man’s head into his lap and smoothed his brow with his trembling fingers.
“Did I… I killed him, didn’t I?” Loki’s breath hitched, “Can you… can you check? I cannot feel anything.”
No. Loki had not intended to kill him. Mobius understood. But there was a very real possibility that he had.
Only after he had measured the other self’s pulse for the third time, did he breathe a sigh of relief.
“He’ll live,” he informed Loki. “But what did you do? And what really happened?”
Loki let out a choked sob. “Sylvie… She… she told me she could reach back into people’s memories and take possession of their blank mind once they had retreated into their past. I could never do that but I could bring back memories as well. Not forgotten ones of course but I… I had to try,” he carefully brushed his fingers along Mobius’ eyelids. “This is him. This is my Mobius. I figured TVA had wiped him again or… I just wanted him to remember me.”
The Other Mobius frowned. “Well, there’s no reason why that shouldn’t have worked. So, what did you see? Inside his head?”
Loki flinched as he thought back to that horrific moment.
“White. Just white, hot pain. That’s it.”
Not-Mobius’ eyes narrowed further. “Well, that doesn’t make any sense,” he muttered under his breath. “You know what? Let’s try something. Give me his Tempad.”
Loki kept staring at him cluelessly. Of course, he was not going to leave Mobius on the floor. Not-Mobius stood up and fetched the Tempad from the table. He started to rapidly tap into it.
“Tempads are just the instruments through which we access information. The information itself is always available in bulk. As long as you have the required permissions, you can access anything. The good news is, I happen to be many levels above your Mobius. I assume he’s just an analyst. And this TVA has no idea that other TVAs exist. So, they don’t have passwords specific to this TVA. Which should mean… aha!” he looked at Loki with a triumphant smile. “I can access your Mobius’ files.”
He tapped a few more times into the Tempad and then adjusted some settings on the projector. “Good thing he chose to hide in the Time Theatre, huh? Let’s see what really happened to him, shall we?”
Loki wanted to say he didn’t care. But that was not the truth. He did care. He just didn’t want to know what could cause such terrible pain to Mobius. A pain more agonizing than getting pruned.
The file started with the usual: Mobius at his desk, Mobius in the cafeteria, Mobius talking to some unknown analyst.
“Let’s go back further,” Not-Mobius said as the footage sped back rapidly. More grey walls. More dining halls. More paperwork. More… no.
This was different. Loki knew this. The wasteland at the end of Time. Alioth. The dead tree.
Loki couldn’t help but offer a watery smile. This was one of his best and worst memories. The only time he held Mobius in his arms. The time when he was too idiotic to understand that this meant everything.
“Thank you, my friend.”
Loki looked down and ran his fingers through Mobius’ hair.
“I should have come back with you.”
Not-Mobius was a bit less sentimental. He sped up the footage further.
The Mobius on the screen was talking to Ravonna.
Even sitting here, Loki wanted to scream at Mobius to be careful. The look in Ravonna’s eyes. Something was wrong here. Very wrong…
“Where is Loki, Mobius?”
“How on earth would I know?” the Mobius on the screen shrugged.
You fool, Loki’s brain cried, Don’t enrage her further.
Ravonna behaved exactly how Loki had predicted she would.
In no time Mobius was being dragged across the hallways. Did he know this room? Is this where Sylvie was kept? No… this barely even looked like TVA. This was a dungeon.
“Enjoy your stay in the holding cell, Mobius,” Ravonna looked down at him coldly after the guards had thrown him into the stony ground. “You’re still my friend. So, I’ll hold off the Chair as long as you calmly give us the answer.”
“What answer?” Mobius laughed. “I was too busy being pruned.”
Ravonna looked right into a guard’s eyes and titled her head slightly to the left. Before Loki could process what was happening, the guard’s baton smashed against the left side of Mobius’ face. The force of the impact made Mobius crash into to the floor. When he raised his head again with some struggle, Loki gasped at the sight. A wide gash had opened up over his left cheekbone. The white of his left eye was now completely obscured with blood.
“You know what answer, Mobius,” Ravonna gave him a saccharine smile before she turned to the guards. “No need for medical assistance until he’s seconds away from death. Can’t let him die before he tells us where Loki is, can we?”
This was just the start.
“Loki, we uh… we don’t have to look at this,” the Other Mobius tried reasoning with him. “We already know what happened to…”
Lokius stopped stroking Mobius’ face. He dug his nails into his palms and nodded at the screen.
“No, we don’t. Play it.”
The cut festered. The infection grew. Not a single healer was sent down to look at Mobius. The inevitable fever set in.
Mobius did not refuse food. He simply got none. Just a singular pitcher of water that he had to preserve for an infinite number of hours.
But little did Loki know… this was the good part.
Because Ravonna visited at regular intervals. And, Mobius still didn’t answer.
Loki understood what the Chair meant on the eighth day.
“No, no, no no… just tell them,” he begged the half conscious Mobius on the screen, “Tell them!”
The wires went around his fingers and his toes. The collar was tightened till it almost cut off his breath. The Chair would not let him move. Mobius would have to take what it gave him.
Pain. White, hot, blinding pain.
Ravonna repeated the thoughts that were racing through Loki’s mind.
“I wonder if you even know…” she said thoughtfully as she turned up the dial. “I mean, I was convinced that you did. But you’re just an old man, Mobius. And you’re half dead already.” She watched disinterestedly as Mobius’ body wrenched against his bindings to get away from the pain that was everywhere all at once. “If I dare say so myself,” Ravonna continued, “I genuinely do not think you will survive this. Which makes me believe that you don’t really know.”
As soon as the electricity seized up, Mobius’ body slumped down on the Chair.
“Then why are you doing this?” Loki heard Mobius ask even though he did not have enough strength to lift his face. “Because it’s fun?”
Ravonna grinned. “As a matter of fact, yes. It is. I told you this was going to be the inevitable consequence of following him around like a mutt.”
Mobius let out a broken chuckle. “I still don’t regret it though.”
Ravonna sighed and turned the dial again. “Oh, you will. That’s a promise.”
Loki had experienced pain. You could not train to be a hunter and a warrior without knowing pain. But never in a thousand years had Loki experienced this.
A pain that stubbornly resisted him and yet it tormented the flesh of his beloved for months and years on end. By this point Loki himself had lost all sense of time.
Mobius barely looked human anymore. They still stubbornly refused to give him food. Whenever he came frighteningly close to death, they stuck a needle into him to feed him intravenously.
“You don’t know where I am!” Loki wanted to scream his lungs out at the screen. If only someone would hear him. “Why don’t you just tell them that? You don’t know!”
But Mobius did not speak. And the pain did not stop. Electric shocks were layered with burns which were then layered with flesh wounds. Broken bones were swiftly broken again to stop them from mending. TVA was nothing if not efficient, after all. But the moment Mobius’ pulse slowed down dangerously, healers immediately rushed in to tend to him.
Loki had never thought he would wish for this. But he was ready to become this monster one last time.
“Kill him,” he begged at the screen. “Just let him die. Let him rest.”
Ravonna again seemed to agree with him.
“I honestly don’t want to do this anymore. I know you don’t know where Loki is. This is just pointless. I might as well kill you.”
Mobius did not answer. He had lost the strength or the will to speak long ago. Now he didn’t even cry out or whimper.
Ravonna did not mind the silence. She continued, “I can’t though. No, seriously, I can’t. Maybe you’re really that good an analyst. The Timekeepers still want you alive. I have no idea why.”
Loki could not make any head or tails of this. He Who Remained was gone. Who was this Timekeeper that Ravonna was referring to? Surely Sylvie did not take the throne. Then… Suddenly, the blood froze in his veins.
He looked up at the Other Mobius for confirmation.
“Some variant of His, I assume,” Not-Mobius answered stiffly. He looked distinctly unwell. Loki could see how this record was affecting him but he had to know…
The Ravonna on the screen sighed. “Still not regretting loving him?”
Only silence followed.
“No cocky reply this time?” Ravonna sounded disappointed. “Well, I sure do regret it. I’m wasting half of my day on you. And you fucking know nothing.”
There’s always a point of no-recovery. Loki knew this. You could patch up ten wounds and survive. But the eleventh would inevitably do you in. No one could survive forever.
And Mobius was approaching this point steadily but surely enough. It was like reading the last few pages of a tragedy. There was no chance of a glorious twist in the story where all would be well again. But you could at least let out a breath of relief that the pain was going to end soon.
But Loki knew it would not be that simple. After all, an unconscious Mobius was still lying in his arms. Broken but not dead.
No, there was no glorious twist in the story. It was a simple tale of pain finally breaking through the crust and reaching the core.
It was Mobius who changed the course of the story.
“No more.”
Two words. Loki had wanted him to say those two words years and years ago. But now that he actually uttered them, Loki froze.
Mobius was finally giving up.
Ravonna seemed as taken aback as Loki. However, she quickly schooled her features in no time.
“Tell me then. Where is Loki?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Mobius spit out a mouthful of blood to laugh, “It never did.”
Ravonna huffed in frustration, “Well, if it didn’t then why did you make me do this to you? Why seal your lips?”
Mobius leaned his head back against the chair with some difficulty. Loki could clearly see his face now.
“Because,” he looked up at the ceiling, “Because you were right, Ravonna. Capturing him from where he planned to go was impossible. But I was afraid that he would come back.” He let out a wet laugh, interrupted by a series of hacking coughs. “I had hoped he would come back. I did not want him to return only to look upon my betrayal. I had hoped to be loyal. Turns out, there’s no point to that loyalty now.”
Ravonna stared at him for a solid minute. “You truly are an imbecile.”
Mobius chuckled again. “I know. So, I can’t answer that question. But I can answer another.”
“Which one?”
“Do I regret loving him?” Mobius smiled as he looked down at his bloodied hands. “I do, yes.”
These were the very words that Ravonna had always wanted to hear. But strangely enough, she said nothing.
Mobius looked her in the eyes, “I gave you what you wanted. Now… please. No more. Just kill me.”
Ravonna stared at Mobius’ mangled toes for a minute before coming to a decision.
“The Timekeepers don’t want you dead…”
Mobius’ face crumpled in misery. For the first time, let out a sob. “Ravonna, please. You are my friend.”
Ravonna nodded. “Yes, that’s the only reason I’m offering you this choice.” She walked up to Mobius and lifted his chin to look him in the eyes.
“I can’t kill you. Not unless the Timekeepers want me to. But I can offer you reprieve. Listen well, Mobius. Either help us to track Loki down or agree to have your memory wiped of him. The only reason why I’m not making the first condition mandatory is because you still cannot be trusted. If you truly hate him, come with us. If you still can’t, then forget him. All about him. Not just the time you spent together. Which will it be?”
Before Mobius could open his mouth to answer, Loki spoke up.
“Stop it.”
The Other Mobius jerked back in surprise. Loki had endured every bit of that torture to stop here of all places?
“Don’t you want to…”
“We already know what he chose,” Loki answered woodenly.
The room fell into complete silence.
The body in Loki’s lap stirred. The real Mobius was waking up.
It took everything in Loki to carefully deposit him on to the floor. As he lost contact with Mobius’ skin, he felt his own nerves severing themselves from one another.
He still wasn’t fast enough. Mobius blinked up at him twice and hit his head against the leg of the table in his hurry to get away from him.
“No! Not… not you!”
And Loki knew he deserved it. He truly did. Unfortunately, being able to accept the things that you knew was a whole other ballgame.
Loki swallowed a sob and fought to extend a hand towards Mobius.
“Be careful. You’ll hurt your head.”
Mobius let out a maniacal laughter. “Hurt my head? Do you know how many times this was broken open?”
“Mobius, I….” Loki’s hand instinctively migrated towards Mobius’ head to sooth the scars.
“Don’t touch me,” Mobius slapped away the hand immediately, “Why did you come back? What else do you need from me?”
His eyes widened when he spotted the Other Mobius, who looked distinctly uncomfortable with the situation.
“What… what are you scheming about now?” Mobius screamed at Loki, “You’re collecting my clones? Or is he me from the past? Someone who’s idiotically fascinated with you?”
Not-Mobius stood up from his chair to give the couple some space. “Um… Loki, we just have five more minutes. That’s it.”
“Five more minutes before what?” Mobius snapped back.
Loki took in a deep breath.
Everyone in his life had always seen him as a monster. What did it matter if one more person was added to that list?
But he knew he was lying to himself. It mattered. It mattered more than anything else.
He addressed the Other Mobius without turning away from the man in front of him. Who knew how much time they had left. He wanted to look his fill even if vitriolic hatred was the only thing he was looking at.
“You did your job, Mobius. Thank you for getting me to him. But now, you must leave.”
The Other Mobius blanched. “You cannot be serious. You are being actively hunted here. You’ll be dead in a minute!”
Loki turned back to offer him a genuine smile. “173 timelines, Mobius. I travelled through 173 timelines to find him. You think I’ll leave so soon?”
As the Other Mobius still hesitated, his Mobius narrowed his eyes.
“What do you mean by that?”
Loki shook his head. “Nothing. Just that I intend to stay this time.”
Mobius’ frown deepened.
“You… You can’t! They’re looking for you. They’ll find you.”
“Then let them,” Loki smiled. Minutes before his impending doom, Loki felt completely free. Like a huge burden had been lifted from his chest.
Mobius looked at him like he had grown a second head.
“They will kill you.”
“Let them,” Loki answered. “I’m not leaving you again.”
Mobius looked torn. He still could not make any sense of what was happening but he knew he had to do something. And he knew Loki wasn’t the person to ask.
“How do we save him?” Mobius asked… this was really hurting his brain, the Other Him.
The Mobius by the door took a peep outside and shut the door firmly.
“The Minutemen are coming.”
“How do we save him then?” Mobius roared.
“Well, it’s obvious isn’t it?” the Other Mobius answered, “He won’t leave if you don’t so just come with us. I mean, these people tortured you anyway. Why stay here?”
Loki immediately protested against the suggestion. “No. Mobius, you don’t have to follow me anywhere else. I swear, I’ll stay,” he looked earnestly into Mobius’ eyes, “It took me a while to reach here but I did. You never have to sacrifice a thing for me again. I won’t be able to live with myself if you do. In fact, you should hand me over to them. This way you can buy their trust and clear your…”
Mobius chose to ignore every word of Loki’s to crash his lips against his.
“Shut up. Also, I’ll properly apologise about kissing you without seeking permission at a more convenient hour. But for now, shut the fuck up.”
He turned to the Other Mobius.
“If you’re me, I assume you have a good escape plan.”
The Other Mobius flashed the couple a grin before he opened up a portal with his own Tempad.
“Actually, I’m smarter. So, I’m going to have to ask you two to stop making out till we reach our destination.”