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Mark was staring. He knew he was staring. But he wasn't going to stop anytime soon.
Dejun next to him was eating his abomination of chips with instant ramen, both of which Mark was extremely sure he had brought from the dorms just so that he could have it for lunch. He was alternating between piling the ramen onto the chip, eating it, and glancing at Mark.
Sighing, Mark leaned back, taking his eyes off of the boy at the other side of the room and instead stealing Dejun's weird chip-ramen combination.
“Hey,” Dejun protested but didn't make a move to take it back. The chip got shoved into Mark's mouth and as Mark was chewing he thought that, maybe, Dejun's weird inventions weren't that bad after all.
“Are you gonna go back to staring at Yukhei now or do you wanna talk to me?”
Mark made a face, still chewing. He scowled at Dejun and Dejun rolled his eyes. Sure, Mark had been staring but Dejun knew he was talented enough to stare at someone and talk at the same time.
Shrugging, Mark swallowed the food and turned his body a bit towards Dejun. His friend had the ghost of a smile on his face and tilted his head, asking, “Why are you even staring at him so much? Did he do something to you or do you wanna do something to him?”
Mark snorted. It was a legit question but still he shook his head.
“It's just that... I've got such a big squish on him.”
“You've got a- a what?”
“A squish.”
Dejun raised his eyebrows and nodded once, slowly. It was obvious he had no idea what Mark was talking about or at least he had no idea what to think of Mark's statements. Mark didn't blame him, half of the time he didn't know what to make of his statements either.
“Ah yes,” Dejun finally said, “What exactly is that supposed to mean? You're aware that people say crush, right?”
Humming, Mark nodded. He was indeed aware of that but ever since he had found out what squish meant he had been dying to use it and now that he had had the opportunity, he had immediately used it. With a smile, Mark responded, “Yes, but also, a squish is, like, a platonic crush. Like, I wanna be his friend so fucking hard.”
“Oh. Why don't you go talk to him then?”
Mark just gave Dejun an unimpressed look and received a deadpan expression in return as well.
At this point in their friendship, after years and years of knowing each other, they didn't need words to understand what they wanted to say. Simply with their eyes and tiny movements, they had a whole conversation, easily summed up in Mark chickening out and Dejun clowning him for it.
Furrowing his brows, Mark tried to convey that he was, in fact, not an extrovert like his friend was and he couldn't just approach people on his own. Dejun on the other hand, just rolled his eyes and jerked his head in Yukhei's general direction where he was sitting with his friends.
Mark shook his head resolutely. He was never ever going to go up to him and talk to him on his own. Not only was Yukhei extremely attractive and well-liked and Mark had wanted to be his friend for years, one of Yukhei's friends was also Mark's long-time crush. Dejun knew this of course, as Mark's longest and basically only friend, but he liked to pretend he didn't. Or maybe he was just an extrovert who would have befriended every one in their little group years ago if it wasn't for Mark.
“Come on, Mark,” Dejun sighed as piled the last of his ramen onto a chip, “just, like, talk to him before class. You share two classes, right? So just sit next to him and greet him or something. With how he works, he'll probably befriend you on his own. Literally more than half of his friends are introverts anyways.”
Mark whined and shook his head, about to retort when Dejun shoved his 'Guangdong Taco' or whatever had had called it into Mark's mouth. He scowled but chewed nonetheless.
“Or do you want me to go with you?”
“No, that's so embarrassing. We're not little kids anymore, Jun,” Mark complained, holding his hand in front of his mouth.
Dejun scowled and shook his head, replying, “Okay, but you and I both know you're not gonna talk to him anyways. With how much you've been staring at him in the last, like, weeks, I doubt he hasn't noticed. I'm honestly surprised he hasn't come and talked to you by himself yet.”
Mark crossed his arms, pouting. Dejun was right. Mark hadn't exactly been subtle as he had fantasized about being friends with Yukhei and being close to Donghyuck. There had been whole stories playing in his head as he had spent his time staring at Yukhei but nobody needed to know that. Maybe Yukhei just thought he was weird or creepy and that was why he hadn't come talk to Mark. Oh god, what had he done?
“Come on, now,” Dejun said as Mark groaned and buried his face in his hands. “Maybe he's just been too distracted to notice.”
Mark shook his head. They were adults, they were in college, they had been living away from home for more than two years, how was Mark still not able to talk to people or even make an effort to do so?
Dejun laid a warm hand on Mark's shoulder and squeezed.
“Okay, enough wallowing, I need to throw out the trash and you're coming with me.”
Mark, almost on autopilot as he was still thinking about all the ways he should be able to make friends now and Yukhei, Donghyuck and their friends probably thought Mark was a weirdo creep, got up and grabbed Dejun's half finished bag of chips before following after his friend. Taking Mark's hand, Dejun pulled him after him, stopping shortly before continuing on. The créme-coloured cafeteria floor blurred with the speed they were walking at and when Mark realized it hadn't changed to the grey linoleum in the hallways it was too late.
With a start, Mark looked up just as Dejun stopped walking and he was looking straight at Yukhei and his little group of friends. It wasn't even all of them, just a select few. Donghyuck, a year younger, beautiful, could rival Beyoncé with his voice; Guanheng, same age, looked like a prince, his acting was on point; Yangyang, again a year younger, quite a charmer, strong passion for race cars; Shotaro, another one who was a year younger, cute as anything, his dance moves were out of this world; Chenle, two years younger, he would probably be friends with Stephen Curry if it wasn't for the fact that he was so young and still in college.
And last but definitely not least, Yukhei. He was the same age as Mark, looked, in everybody's humble opinion, extremely out-of-the-world handsome, and was everyone's favourite boy, compassionate as they come.
“Hey,” Dejun greeted and Mark could hear the grin in his voice, still transfixed on the boys before him.
“Hey,” Yukhei greeted back, sitting closest to them, an unsure but warm smile on his face.
Dejun tugged on Mark's hand and in that moment, he really felt like a kindergarten kid getting help from his parent to befriend someone. Mark tugged as well though, still refusing to acknowledge this was even happening as his heart was jumping in his chest, both Yukhei and Donghyuck way too close for his liking.
With a huff, Dejun nudged Mark's feet with his before disclosing, “I'm Dejun, this is Mark. My friend here is a bit shy but he'd really like to be friends with you and I couldn't let him suffer any longer. If you guys, especially, Yukhei and Donghy-”
“Dejun,” Mark hissed as he, as inconspicuously as possible, stepped on his friend's foot. “Shut the fuck up.”
Much to Mark's surprise though, Yukhei laughed brightly and a few of them chuckled while the rest still looked mildly confused. Flushing, Mark squeezed Dejun's hand for reassurance and clutched the chips bag closer. This was not the way Mark had wanted to introduce himself, if ever.
“You guys wanna be friends?” Yukhei asked, still smiling, eyes as happy as they could be. Dejun nudged Mark with his elbow and Mark managed a small, jerking, nod. He felt as if his face and ears were burning and he was going to explode soon.
It was then that Donghyuck leaned forward, his elbows on the table and his eyes filled with mirth, grinning up at Mark as he inquired, “Can your friend speak for himself? I wonder if his voice is as cute as his face.”
That was the last straw. Mark whimpered, moving closer to Dejun to hide his face in his shoulder and turn his body away from the boys' amused eyes.
Dejun's laugh rang through his body as the hand that wasn't holding Mark's landed on his back.
At this point, Mark just wished the ground would open up and swallow him whole or he could just vanish whenever he wanted to. He could hear Dejun talking, hell, he could feel it even, but he was too busy trying to disappear to focus on what he was saying.
Had Mark asked to be dragged here and be embarrassed in front of the only people he didn't want to see him like that? No. Had Donghyuck flirted with him despite that? Maybe. Had Mark decided, the second Dejun had wound his arm around him, that he wasn't going to surface any time soon? Definitely.
Unfortunately, Mark rarely got what he wanted, especially in the last few minutes, so Dejun let him go, gently prying his hand out of Mark's. With a scowl, Mark looked up, coming face to face with the most shit-eating grin he had ever seen on Dejun's face in eight years of friendship.
Oh no.
“Can I take you with me?”
Mark turned, almost in a trance to look at Donghyuck who had asked the question. The boy had gotten up from his seat at the table, smiling at Mark.
“Um,” Mark started, glancing at Dejun, throwing a look at the boys still sitting, “Yes?”
Donghyuck's smile widened as he, almost hesitantly, reached out before taking ahold of Mark's hand. Mark startled but let Donghyuck wrap his fingers around his hand, amazed, and almost distracted, by how warm and soft they were.
The next thing he knew, Mark was being pulled away from the table, from Dejun, only able to turn around once. Dejun was giving him a thumbs up, holding the chips bag Mark had been clinging to, and the rest of the boys were grinning, Chenle even going so far as giving them two thumbs up.
Mark had no idea what was going on but he supposed he couldn't dip out now. Not when Donghyuck was holding his hand and leading him somewhere, not when this was something Mark hadn't even been able to dream up, not when Mark was feeling like a K-Drama protagonist approaching the season finale.
Donghyuck, gently, mind you, pulled Mark out of the cafeteria, through the hallways and out of the building itself.
Mark had no idea where they were going, nor why they were going there, but he wasn't about to ask. His heart was still hammering in his chest and his ears were probably as red as ever but supposed that didn't matter anymore now as Donghyuck had seen him like that just now too. Actually, maybe he had been in a worse state earlier, which made Mark looking like a fool feel just a tiny bit better.
They came to a stop behind a building Mark didn't recognize, probably on the side of campus he never went to except for when he picked Dejun up from his classes.
No one was around and, even though it was lunch time, Mark couldn't believe just how secluded the place was. Even the chit-chat of passing students was quiet, almost as if they were speaking through a wall.
Letting go of Mark's hand, Donghyuck took a step back and Mark found himself missing the warmth he had provided.
“Why, uh, why did you bring me here?” Mark asked, trying to stay as calm and collected as possible but given that Donghyuck was right in front of him and they were basically alone, he didn't succeed that much.
Donghyuck shrugged and presented Mark with a somewhat sheepish smile.
He didn't say anything for a while, instead scuffing his shoes around on the ground and making low, humming, noises, but then he admitted, “I thought it would be easier to talk without all of my friends staring. I realize you want to be friends with Xuxi the most but he can be a bit overwhelming at first. To be honest, I kind of wanted to prepare you for the chaos our group can bring.”
Mark hummed, picking at his clothes. Well, he supposed that was a reasonable thought process. It didn't exactly explain why he had grabbed this hand but-
“Oh, and Dejun told us you have a crush on me.”
“What?” Mark choked out, immediately ripped out of the semblance of a calm state he had tricked himself into. “What? No. No, no, no. No, he was- he was lying. I don't- what? I wouldn't have a crush on someone I barely know.”
The awkward chuckle escaped Mark before he could help it and, honestly, if someone had said that to Mark, even he wouldn't have believed it. Cringing at himself, Mark wondered if he would remember today as the day he had repeatedly asked for the vanishing forever act to be performed on him.
Not only had Dejun outed Mark's dumbass self to the people he wanted to see it the least, he had also spilled the beans to his crush, his goddamn crush he had met a total of eleven times in the span of five years. Mark could feel himself imploding.
“Hey. Mark, hey.”
The feeling of gentle, soft, warm fingertips, feather light on Mark's forearm, brought him back to reality.
Donghyuck was still standing in front of him, looking slightly concerned as his fingers hovered just above Mark's skin. Really, he couldn't have made Mark feel more like he was dreaming all of this up and was actually just sleeping through one of his classes.
“Are you okay?”
Mark nodded slowly and Donghyuck retracted his hand. He looked a bit flustered if the light wasn't playing tricks on Mark. The tips of Donghyuck's ears seemed a little red and his eyes were a tiny bit downcast as he played with his fingers.
“Actually,” Donghyuck started and Mark wasn't sure he wanted to hear it, but he listened anyways, “I wanted to tell you something.
“I had this whole speech prepared to tell you about my crush on you when the timing was right but then you graduated and went to college and then I graduated and went to college and got swept up in it all and the right timing never came. And then I just didn't know what to do so I did nothing even when I noticed you looking at us. But today, Dejun came and he was holding your hand and Guanheng asked if you are together and he said no and that you have a crush on me and I couldn't just do nothing-”
“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.”
Mark held up both hands as Donghyuck abruptly stopped rambling. He wasn't sure what was happening right now and Donghyuck had spoken so fast it had been quite hard to catch, but there was definitely something in there Mark was a bit surprised by. Trying to gather his thoughts, Mark mumbled, “Okay, so, I don't know if I'm understanding this right but you're telling me right now that you have a crush on me?”
Donghyuck nodded.
“And you've had a crush on me before I even went to college?”
He nodded again, this time more enthusiastically.
“And you thought, since Dejun already confirmed I have a crush on you, you'd, what, confess to me now?”
Again, Donghyuck nodded, humming as his lips quirked up a little bit.
Blinking rapidly, Mark shook his head slightly. It wasn't that he didn't believe Donghyuck, well, maybe he partially didn't, but that he didn't know how to react. He had never thought Donghyuck would even look his way anymore, let alone think about him.
“But come on, Donghyuck. To like me you would have to remember the few times we met and you can't actually remember every single time we've met before. Right?” Mark wondered aloud, eyebrows furrowed as he tried to wrap his head around the concept of Donghyuck liking him back.
In the mean time, it seemed like Donghyuck had caught himself, tilting his head and pouting just a little as he asked, “Why can't I? Don't you?”
“I mean, yeah...”
“So if you can, I can too, don't you think?”
Mark just shrugged meekly, trying, once again, very hard to disappear. Not only did Donghyuck like him back, something Mark had never thought would happen, he also voiced those feelings and Mark was unsure of what to make of that.
He had resigned to watching him from afar since a long time ago and he had thought his feelings would disappear before Mark would ever have the courage to approach Donghyuck or Yukhei or any of their friends. Well, he supposed this hadn't happened because he had had courage but because Dejun had had courage for him.
“So,” Donghyuck started, rocking back and forth on his feet, looking straight at Mark with those wonderfully deep eyes, “since we've established that we like each other, do you, maybe, want to go on a date any time soon?”
His eyes widening, Mark could feel himself blush. He supposed this was what people who liked each other did but never in his wildest fantasies had he ever been asked out. Especially not by Donghyuck.
Donghyuck waited patiently, head tilted the slightest bit, a small smile on his face as his eyes were so warm and welcoming, Mark could feel himself crushing even harder.
“Yeah,” Mark replied, breathless for some reason. “I'd like that.”
Apparently wanting to give Mark a heart-attack, Donghyuck beamed, his nose scrunching up and his eyes almost closing as he smiled at Mark, stepping a little closer. Mark could feel the heat radiating off of him, much like it had been when he had dragged him out of the cafeteria by his hand. And, just like before, Mark's heart jumped in his chest, but this time more in excitement than embarrassment.
“Can I hug you?”
Mark could only give a short nod at Donghyuck's question, fearing his voice would crack if he spoke. Immediately, Donghyuck lifted his arms and took the last tiny step forward, winding his arms around Mark and settling his chin on Mark's shoulder.
And, as if to confirm to Mark that Donghyuck really liked him, as Mark wound his arms around Donghyuck as well and pulled him just a little closer, Mark could feel Donghyuck's heartbeat against his chest through layers and layers of clothing.
Mark pressed his face against Donghyuck's neck and smiled against his skin. Donghyuck's own heartbeat matched Mark's to a T.