Chapter Text
percy’s bimbos
moonmoon: EVERY TIME I THINK HE CANT GET HOTTER
president lincoln: I WAS LITERALLY ON THE G R O U N D
president lincoln: THERE'S ‘PRESIDENT’ IN MY USERNAME MR JACKSON SIR WILL YOU YELL AT ME NEXT
Murphy’s law: LIKE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THE BIG DICK ENERGY
The News(™): every time he shut down landry i opened up a new tab for wedding venues
avril lavigne: RT RT
avril lavigne: SHE JUST LIKE ME FR
nedleedle: yeah it was pretty hot
mindiana jones: ive literally never been more attracted to somebody
tungsten dioxide whats this: can you guys shut the fuck up please
moonmoon: literally never
Murphy’s law: not even after death
tungsten dioxide whats this: you know what
tungsten dioxide whats this: i didn't want to do this
tungsten dioxide whats this: but you savages leave me with no choice
avril lavigne: oh ?
avril lavigne: will peter finally show up in a bloodstained cape and put us all out of our thirsty, thirsty misery?
tungsten dioxide whats this: @spicey
mindiana jones: NO
avril lavigne: oh god
avril lavigne: cant decide if this is better or worse
mindiana jones: percy dont read up
mindiana jones: please
spicey: yeah ok
murphy’s law: HE SPEAKS
spicey: sometimes
tungsten dioxide whats this: percy.
spicey: peter?
tungsten dioxide whats this: would you be interested in marrying seven science nerds?
tungsten dioxide whats this: be honest.
spicey: im sorry?
tungsten dioxide whats this: just answer the question
spicey: i am interested in marrying one (1) science nerd
moonmoon: oh god oh fuck we have to fight now
moonmoon: abe im sorry youre my biggest competition im coming for you first
president lincoln: i will obliterate you
The News(™): sally,,,,
The News(™): forgive me for what has to happen
avril lavigne: oh no
avril lavigne: i accept the fact that my deadly peanut allergy would make me an insufficient partner and will therefore be my demise. at least make me go with a reese's cup?
The News(™): you got it babygirl
spicey: what are you people talking about
murphy’s law: dont worry your pretty little head about it <3
spicey: ??????????
tungsten dioxide whats this: more importantly what are YOU talking about???
tungsten dioxide whats this: you want to marry one??? YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DIFFUSE THE SITUATION BY SAYING NO
spicey: WHAT SITUATION????
tungsten dioxide whats this: wait you dont
tungsten dioxide whats this: oh my god
tungsten dioxide whats this: WHO WERE YOU TALKING ABOUT
spicey: WHAT????
tungsten dioxide whats this: THIS
spicey: i am interested in marrying one (1) science nerd
tungsten dioxide whats this: HOLY SHIT PLEASE DONT TELL ME YOU MEAN TONY
tungsten dioxide whats this: FUCKING SHIT PLEASE
tungsten dioxide whats this: I CANNOT HANDLE HAVING TWO FATHER FIGURES AT ONCE
spicey: of course i do not mean tony???
spicey: peter are you okay
tungsten dioxide whats this: NO
tungsten dioxide whats this: WHO WERE YOU TALKING ABOUT
spicey: my boyfriend???????
moonmoon:
The News(™):
murphy’s law:
avril lavigne:
nedleedle:
mindiana jones:
president lincoln: ʸᵒᵘʳ ʷʰᵃᵗ
spicey: boyfriend
tungsten dioxide whats this: oh this worked out so much better than i could've hoped
murphy’s law: you
murphy’s law: you’re dating someone?
spicey: yeah!
spicey: :)
moonmoon: i want to be mad but i cant.,.,.,.he sounds so enthusiastic.,.,.,.
president lincoln: it was our mistake to assume a piece of ass like that would not have other suitors
avril lavigne: we were, devastatingly, too late
spicey: what?
tungsten dioxide whats this: forget that
tungsten dioxide whats this: who is this mysterious boyfriend??
spicey: here wait
spicey: hi peter
tungsten dioxide whats this: hewwo??
spicey: i have percy’s phone because he doesnt want to figure out how to do this
spicey: give me one second
[spicey has added James Barnes to the chat]
[spicey has changed James Barnes’s name to ‘terminator’]
nedleedle: DEADASS?
[spicey has left the chat]
The News(™): NOOOOOOO
terminator: he said you people were confusing
terminator: and scrolling upwards, i think i agree
murphy’s law: p l e a s e tell me that we havent been thirsting after the WINTER SOLDIERS BOYFRIEND
terminator: i hate to break it to but you most definitely have
moonmoon: oh lord he’s still scrolling
terminator: wow some of these are explicit
avril lavigne: tell my cats i love them
terminator: do you guys not have hobbies?
terminator: charles i dont even think the human body can move like that
murphy’s law: …..thinking back? I dont even know which message ive sent that got that response
murphy’s law: there are many options
nedleedle: hey cheer up
nedleedle: maybe we can get group tombstones
The News(™): all i ask of you sergeant barnes
The News(™): please dont get my blood on my moms new carpet
terminator: what?
terminator: jesus im not going to kill you guys
moonmoon: we literally have a groupchat dedicated to lusting over your boyfriend
tungsten dioxide whats this: remember the good old days when this was about ACDEC STUFF
mr president: ah, the dark ages
terminator: yeah and?
terminator: fr i would too
terminator: art is meant to be appreciated and all that
moonmoon: i-
avril lavigne: well hes not wrong but
avril lavigne: this just isnt how i expected this conversation to go
president lincoln: his JAWLINE looks like its carved from MARBLE
president lincoln: im so sorry i couldnt hold it in any longer
[terminator has changed their name to ‘terminator (percy simp)’]
terminator (percy simp): I KNOW RIGHT
moonmoon:
avril lavigne:
The News(™): WE GOT ANOTHER ONE BOYS
terminator (percy simp): hes so CUTE
terminator (percy simp): LOOK AT HIM
terminator (percy simp): [Image Attachment: The phone is pointed down at Bucky’s lap, where Percy is laying, eyes closed. He has headphones on, and is wearing one of Bucky’s sweatshirts. His hair is messy, and he looks content as he sleeps.]
murphy’s law: SCJQEGFEWJBFSJKFQREJH
moonmoon: JLKNLBLASAGDF
The News(™): FINALLY
The News(™): SOMEONE WHO ISNT STINGY WITH CONTENT
president lincoln: *cough*peter*cough*
tungsten dioxide whats this: really
president lincoln: yes REALLY
terminator (percy simp): to each their own i guess
terminator (percy simp): but this right here is most definitely my own
terminator (percy simp): hes husband shaped :)
tungsten dioxide whats this: WOAH WOAH W O A H
tungsten dioxide whats this: SLOW DOWN THERE BUSTER
tungsten dioxide: YOU'VE KNOWN HIM FOR LIKE A FEW MONTHS
terminator (percy simp): and? i have EYES peter
mindiana jones: oh my god you two are like u-hual lesbians
terminator (percy simp):
terminator (percy simp): yeah pretty much
terminator (percy simp): we did skip the ‘asking out’ part and went straight for love confessions and almost dying for eachother
avril lavigne: i mean me too
moonmoon: yeah i’d do the same
tungsten dioxide whats this: i fucking hate it here
Unknown Number and TS
Unknown Number: This isn’t funny, Stark.
TS: wha
Unknown Number: Take down the fake account.
TS: the FUCJK afe yoi talking about
Unknown Number: Are you drunk?
TS: no iys just THREEW IN THR GODDAMND MORNINF
Unknown Number: Ah, right. Just take it down.
TS: WHASR are yoh TALKIJNG ABOUT
Unknown Number: The Twitter account.
TS:
TS: wait
TS: FURUY???
Unknown Number: Yes, Stark. I’m telling you to take it down.
TS: I DONT RUN IT
Unknown Number:
Unknown Number: Is this a joke?
TS: NO
TS: IVE BEEN TRYINF TO FIGHURE OUT WHOS BEHIND THAR FOR MONTHS
Unknown Number: Are you serious?
TS: YES
TS: I THOUGHT IT WAS YOU????
TS: THEY POSTED PICTURES OF YOU THAT I CANT FIND ANYWHERE ONLINE
Unknown Number: Hm.
Unknown Number: Go back to sleep, Stark.