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Tim Cook X Bill Gates

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"Oh, Cookie," sighed Bill Gates.

"Oh, Billy," moaned Tim Cook in return.

"How big is your latest touchscreen?" asked Bill. "Six point two inches?"

"No," said Tim. "Six point five."

"Ogh!" Bill Gates exclaimed almost orgasmically.

"Thrust your software into me, harder, Gates! Make it go faster!" Tim shouted as his Microsoft Word program lagged and crashed on his Macbook for the fiftieth time that day.

"Now, now, Timmy, don't be impatient," the older man said (even though he's only older by five years.) "It's not the size of the application that matters but how you use it."

"Inject me with your 5G microchips in the COVID vaccine, Bill."

"Those conspiracy theories aren't real, Tim," said Bill.

"With your fantastic software and my sleek hardware, we can conquer the world together," said Tim.

"Yes, or our users will."

And indeed they have.