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From Fairyland...to Argentina

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Jareth wasn’t bored with his Labyrinth, no that wasn’t it at all. There just weren’t as many people wishing babies away anymore. They had other ways of getting rid of unwanted children, nowadays. Sarah was the one to suggest a new iteration though.

“I mean, it’s not like you haven’t changed the Labyrinth to suit different people, right? Just think, if you did a game show, gave a monetary reward to the winner, not only would you have people lining up around the block to compete, you would have people paying to watch!”

Jareth couldn’t argue with her logic, and if they and the goblins binge watched quite a few game shows in the following weeks, it was only homework, after all.

They quickly figured out that a gameshow with multiple contestants was better than just one. Sarah liked the logic driven gameshows, but Jareth found something satisfying in the elegance of people willingly making fools of themselves for money. Making fools of themselves for somebody else, he could understand, that is what he did for Sarah, after all. But being foolish for mere paper? No, that he couldn’t understand. He did find it hilarious, though, and the goblins quite agreed with him.

So, outvoted, Sarah said they ought to move on to the idea of presenters. Who would be the face of show, a constant from week to week. Their first thought was Hoggle. Hoggle flat out refused.

“I would rather be Prince of the Bog of Eternal Stench, so I would. Me? Talk to humans? No thank you!”

No amount of pleading on Sarah’s part, or threatening on Jareth’s part could get him to change his mind. Jareth couldn’t be trusted to interact with humans, so it was down to Sarah to be the ‘sympathetic’ commentator. They had decided that Jareth could be the commentator, away from humans and making snarky remarks, as he was so fond of doing.

With that decided, all that was needed was a real world location. Argentina was selected, for its general disregard of health and safety laws. Also, the Labyrinth like Argentina, so there was that.

It was in the middle of the course design that Sarah brought up Hoggle again.

“So how will Hoggle help contestants? If he helps only certain ones, he’ll mess with the time limit, and goodness knows, we’ll be accused of favoritism.”

“Hmm.” Jareth grinned. “What if when contestants get too stuck on something that isn’t an obstacle, Eduardo comes to help them out?”

“Eduardo?” Sarah paused. “Well, we are in Argentina. Hey Hoggle! Your name is now Eduardo!”

“No it isn’t, I’m Hoggle.” Hoggle muttered. It didn’t matter. Eduardo stuck, and from now on, Hoggle would be called Eduardo in the human realm.

Sarah decided that going by her human name was more trouble than the mischief was worth. She selected the name Amanda Byram and used a minor glamor to change her appearance.

It took a lot of arguing to get Jareth to wear a glamor. Sarah’s explanation that he looked too much like a younger David Bowie didn’t help at all.

With the series all thought out, all they needed was a broadcasting company, and it didn’t take them long to select one. BBC was chosen, and Jareth strolled into the meeting with the executives, and strolled right back out with the needed funding and a video editor. Sarah had decided that the goblins, with the proper glamor and a little bit of training could be pretty good cameramen, goofers, and soundmen.

So it was that Hoggle became Eduardo, Sarah became Amanda Byram, Jareth became Richard Hammond, and the Labyrinth became Total Wipeout.