Chapter Text
Tommy knew perfectly well that he shouldn’t be eaves dropping. He knew that whenever Techno started talking to the ‘voices’ as he had called them, that Tommy should mind his own business. It was basic privacy really. But he had overheard Techno talking upstairs and had listened in to see if someone else had come over without telling him, but instead he heard his name mentioned and had decided listening in just this once couldn't hurt. Could it?
It was hard to make out what exactly it was Techno was saying, what with the floor that stood between them. But he still craned his neck to try to catch more of what his brother was saying. It was muffled and his brothers voice was almost drowned out by the sound of the wind hitting against the side of the house, but he found if he held his breathe and listened really closely he could catch the gist.
“No guys they’re not- -we’re not- - related” What? Tommy couldn’t make out all of the words that were coming from above him but the ones he did catch certainly peaked his interest to say the least.
He didn’t notice he was walking closer to the noise until he was standing against the ladder that led to the floor Techno was on. He grabbed a hold of the sides and stood up on the first step, but didn't dare go any further than that for fear of getting caught.
“No guys, Phil is not my dad and Wilbur is not my brother” Tommy’s breathing hitched, surely he was joking, “and there is just no way I share any of my awesome gamer genes with Tommy”.
... what?
He felt his heart drop before he could've even register what he had just heard.
And just like that whatever peace and safety he had felt from being in the comfort of Technoblade’s cabin moments prior was quickly replacing itself with a sickening pit in his stomach of dread.
It was just like before. He wasn't safe here was he? It was just a matter of time. It was always just a matter of time...
He stumbled back down off the ladder, his hands losing their grip on the wood. His head was spinning with a million questions.
But- but they grew up together- what does he mean they aren’t brothers? Phil had raised them both! Did he, did he just not care about him? Was he the problem here?
Tommy's feet made the decision before he even registered what he was doing. His mind was somewhere far away while his body was pulling on his shoes and dawning the warmest cape he saw hanging on the rack. The words Techno had said echoing through his head the whole time.
Tommyinnit is not my brother
Tommyinnit is not my brother
Techno's muffled voice could still be heard laughing and chatting to himself on the floor above when the cabin door slammed closed. Perhaps he was just too focused on his enchantments to hear it, or perhaps he just didn't care.
Tommy didn’t know where he was going. And frankly, he didn’t really care. All he knew is that he couldn’t handle this anymore. He was going away. Away from all of it. Away from the betrayal and the pity. Away from the problems and the empty, half-hearted apologies. Away. He didn't even care where 'away' was at this point.
His brother, his own family, couldn’t even stand being related to him. What did that say about him?
He listened to the sound of the snow crunching beneath the weight of his boots as he trudged on through the icy landscape. There was snow falling quietly from the sky, he could feel it when he reached up to run a stressed hand through his hair, and if he looked hard enough he could even see the little snowflakes that had landed atop his eyelashes.
It was peaceful out, on a different occasion Tommy would have probably enjoyed it even. But right now he couldn’t bring himself to find any sort of comfort in the snowy biome.
Tommyinnit is not my brother
Where was he even going? Did he know? He knew he was going away… where was away? Away from what? Home? Where was home anyways? If Dream isn’t his friend and Tubbo doesn’t care about him and Wilbur was dead and if Techoblade. is. not. his. brother (Tommyinnit is not my brother)… then how did he go home?
Tommyinnit is not my brother
Please escort Tommyinnit out of my country
He could no longer feel his fingers by the time he found a lava pit. It was almost night time and the stars were just beginning to peak out from the murky curtain of dusk. But as the sun set with it went whatever small amount of warmth it had been providing throughout the day, leaving the evening even colder than the hours that had come before it.
He could barely feel the grit of the dirt on his hands as he dug out a space for him to lay next to the lava pool. The light from the lava kept the monsters away and the warmth provided from it was almost enough to quell the sound of chattering teeth, that he hadn’t even realized were his own.
God, it was so cold.
He wondered if maybe… this was how Wilbur had felt. Was this the feeling that had drove him to insanity? Was that why he had blown it all up? Gathering as much TNT as possible, hoping if he caused a big enough explosion the feeling of it would make up for the emptiness that swallowed his insides, allowing no feeling- other than a dull ache in your chest that just never quite went away- to exist. Huh, maybe.
Maybe Wilbur was right. Maybe it did never really matter. Maybe he was right, and the only way to get what you want is to loose everything.
I mean after all… Wilbur always seemed happier as a ghost.
Tommyinnit is not my brother
Please escort Tommyinnit out of my country
We aren’t friends, Tommy. We never were.
Tommyinnit had lost everything and everyone. He had nothing left too lose and nothing he cared to gain. Could you really blame him for what he was about to do?