Chapter Text
the no-shows.
Rey tapped her fingers on the bar countertop.
You’d think you’d hear the sounding of clacking as her nails tapped, but there wasn’t a sound.
A clacking.
A tap.
A ‘tink’.
No.
Rey had a terrible habit of biting her nails, so they were chewed down to the skin.
She always bit her nails when Be—
She frowned and stopped tapping, putting her hands in her lap now.
“Want another?” the bartender asked, making his way over to her.
Rey put her forehead on the counter and groaned, “No thanks.”
“Jesus, another no-show?”
The bartender knew her well.
It was embarrassing.
“Fuck off, man.” Rey mumbled, head still on the counter.
“I haven’t wiped that spot since this morning, love. Might wanna get your head off the germs.”
Rey could tell the bartender was smiling.
“Shut up.”
She didn’t care if the counter was riddled with germs, or even a flesh-eating, soul destroying, twenty-four-hours-to-live-bacteria or virus or whatever the fuck medical smart person terminology it was.
Dying would be better than what Rey was going through right now.
Not really but…it came close.
Rey knew this bar well. She knew this bartender well. Hell, her forehead knew the countertop pretty well, too.
She came here often, and more times than not, Rey did this.
She tapped her fingers. She groaned. The bartender gave her a funny look. Gave her a funny quip. Gave her a shot of vodka for free, usually.
Rey came here every other week or so whenever she had a date. For safety, Rey met the men at the same bar.
Well, she didn’t really meet them because…they never show up.
Ever.
No-shows.
Rey finally got up off the stool and put a couple bills in the bartender’s tip jar, just like she did every time, took that free shot of vodka down the hatch, and left.
She went home to her roommate, Rose. Rose knew exactly what was up when Rey walked through the door, her eyes dead.
“Another no-show?”
Rey plopped down on the couch with Rose and put her head in her lap, sighing, “Yeah. Another fucking no-show.”
It used to make Rey sad.
Like, really sad.
Back when this all started—two months ago—Rey was devastated when the first guy ghosted her.
But cut to the seventh date and still no one shows up?
Rey was just pissed at this point.
Rose played with Rey’s hair as she talked—no, yelled—and stole Rose’s popcorn, complaining with her mouth full.
“Rose, I have tried Tinder, Hinge, Bumble. All normal sites! All sites where men usually wanna hookup! I don’t get it!”
Rey pulled up all seven men she was supposed to meet up with and swiped through her matches on each site, showing them to Rose.
“Fuck him!” she swiped, “Him too!”
Rey swiped and swiped until she ran out of men to bad mouth.
“All of those guys look a hell of a lot like Ben…” Rose muttered, still playing with her hair.
Rey sat up and scowled, pointing a finger in Rose’s face, “We don’t say his name in this house.”
But Rey did say his name in that house.
She said his name when she was alone in her room at night, touching herself, sighing his name.
Rey didn’t think those moments counted.
She hated Ben.
He was just…a nice face to picture when she needed to get off.
He really was. Nice looking, that is. To die for, really. Tall. Dark. Handsome. Honey eyes. Always frowning. Rey loved how he never smiled. He looked mad all the time. Just like her.
But she hated Ben…And she’d never date him.
So, she settled for online dating.
Rey had no clue why no one would show up for her dates. It was embarrassing. It was mortifying. She was hot, right? She thought she was hot. Smart. Funny. Not bad in bed.
So, what the fuck was in the water in this goddamn city? Rey repellant? It felt like that. She felt like the opposite of a dude magnet.
It was weird. She’d match with these guys…who did really look like Ben, but that’s for another time…and they’d flirt with her. They’d seem interested, but not too interested, just like Rey liked.
But they never showed.
No matter how much they made her blush or giggle from their messages, she never got to meet them.
Rey went to bed that night angry. She kicked her mattress as she laid flat on her back, the images of those guys all burned in her head.
She wanted to kill them. But first, Rey needed to figure out what was so wrong with her.
So, the next morning, she asked Rose that same question as they walked to the subway station.
“Rose. You need to answer me honestly. Can you do that?”
Rose swiped her MetroCard and gave Rey a funny look as she walked through the turnstile, “Uh, sure?”
Rey swiped her own and walked through, right behind Rose.
“So, what’s wrong with me? Why do you think all these guys are no-shows? Please be honest.”
Rose took Rey’s arm in her own and walked to the subway platform.
“Nothing is wrong with you, Rey. Maybe they just get nervous and bail,” Rose shrugged, “You’re really pretty, so maybe they just think you’re too out of their league and chicken out.”
That wasn’t good enough for Rey. She wanted a real answer, but Rey realized Rose probably couldn’t give it to her.
Rey huffed, stepping onto the subway and putting in her headphones, ignoring Rose now. It wasn’t personal. She just wanted to listen to music and be angry at those seven men that she swore she’d murder one day.
They were going on her hit list.
They’d join Ben on there.
Rose was used to Rey’s dramatics. She gave her a smile, a pat on the head, and an ‘I’ll see you later’ as she got off at her stop, leaving Rey on the train.
Rey blasted rock music her whole way to work, feeling like an angsty teen. She sulked and held onto the pole until her stop.
She trudged into work with a blank look on her face. It wasn’t a smile, and it definitely wasn’t a full-on frown. She was just there.
Rey sat in her cubicle and clicked on her computer, staring at the photos of her friends on her fuzzy wall. Maybe one day, she could have pictures with another person on her wall. Someone she was dati—
“No-show again?” Poe popped his head above Rey’s cubicle and put his chin on the top, giving her one of his best smiles.
Poe was her only work friend.
Everyone else really sucked.
It’s not like her coworkers could help it. Rey was the life of the party. They couldn’t hang. They were boring. A little weird. A few of them total dickheads.
Hux was a dickhead.
So was Ben.
Anyway.
Poe was funny. Nice. Sweet. She’d totally date Poe.
But he had a boyfriend.
The good ones always have boyfriends.
“Mhm,” Rey rolled her eyes, “Another no-show. Wish I had a trophy for all the men who didn’t want to go on a date with me. I could put them in a fucking trophy case.”
Poe disappeared, then Rey heard an office chair sliding her way from the next cubicle over. Poe rolled over and crossed his arms.
He knew Rey had been trying to get a date.
She always told him it was for a ‘good fuck’ like she told everyone else, but he saw through Rey. He called her out on her bullshit a few weeks ago about it, telling her to shut the fuck up and get over her fear of admitting it’d be nice to have a boyfriend.
“Why are you even on those apps?”
“Because it’s fun.”
Rey was such a liar.
Such a goddamn liar.
Rey thought that wanting a boyfriend was ‘desperate’. It sounded girly. Housewife-ish. Domestic.
But she wanted that.
Someone to come home to. Someone to come home to her. Someone to kiss her on the cheek. Someone to fuck her like they meant it, then wake up with them the next day and have them do it again, then make breakfast.
She wanted someone to stay. She wanted someone to hold her when she cried.
Rey wanted someone.
But she viewed that thought as embarrassing and told everyone instead that she just wanted that ‘good fuck’.
Rey had her reasons for her tough-girl act. Her life was tough. She had to be tough. Act tough. Grow up quicker than most.
She wasn’t used to anyone relying on her or her relying on anyone but herself.
But Rey was tired of that. Tired of not having that shoulder to lean on. Admitting those things made Rey feel weak, so she rarely divulged in that discussion with herself.
“Let me set you up with my friend,” Poe shrugged, “I know he’s a real person and would come.”
Rey took a deep breath and turned around, swiveling her chair to face her computer, “No, Poe. I’m going to figure out what is so wrong with me. I’m going to figure out why no man on the internet wants to go to a bar with me. Maybe I’ll take you up on that when I’ve figured it out.”
“Whatever.”
She heard Poe’s chair wheels on the office carpet, rolling back to his cubicle next to hers.
Rey was a few minutes into mindless work when someone kicked her chair.
“Hey, Sunshine.”
Her indifferent mood instantly went sour. Rey turned around and frowned, looking up at the tall man that plagued her space on a daily basis.
He called her ‘Sunshine’ because as he said: You’re always such a ray of fucking sunshine when you talk to me, aren’t you, Rey?
“What do you want, Ben?”
His lips went into a small ‘o’ and he released air as if he just got burned.
“You’re being awfully lovely today.”
Rey turned back to her computer, “Leave me alone.”
“Grow up.”
“Get over yourself.”
It was quiet for a moment. She thought maybe he left.
He did not.
Rey turned around again, “Say your piece and leave, Solo. What do you want?”
Ben looked at the floor and mumbled, “Accounting needs those reports.”
“I’ll send them when I’m done. You could have just emailed me. You didn’t need to grace me with your presence, or whatever you’re doing right now.”
His eyes trailed up from the ground to Rey’s legs.
“I like your dress, Sunshine.”
“Go away,” Rey turned back to her computer and started to open her email, ready to send those reports over.
He still wasn’t gone.
“You can leave, Ben.” she muttered, clicking the mouse.
Big hands rested on her shoulders.
Rey almost jumped.
His mouth was at her ear. Ben whispered, “Three o’clock?”
Rey rolled her eyes and wiggled her shoulders out of his grasp.
“I’m not doing that with you anymore, Ben.”
His hot breath so close to her ear made the space between her legs heat up and pulse.
She knew she was lying.
“We’ll see, Sunshine. See you at three.” Ben whispered, a smirk definitely on his face, then put down a sticky note on her wall.
Three o’clock, Sunshine
Before he left, Ben licked Rey’s ear.
She really liked that.
But she didn’t like Ben, so she squeezed her legs together and gave him the middle finger as he left, her eyes still on the computer.
Three o’clock.
That was Ben and Rey’s thing. They’d been doing this ‘thing’ for two months. First, it was just once. Rey was really ashamed.
But she also couldn’t help it. How could she say no to the situation she was in two months ago?
Rey remembers it very clearly, almost as if she replays it every night with a loud buzzing noise in the background.
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Rey worked in a pretty big office for a pretty big company. For a place with so many people, it was fairly lonely. It felt like the vibes of NYC condensed into one space.
She had only been there for two months and already decided she hated Ben Solo. He demanded reports from her for the accounting department.
Of course he worked in accounting, that asshole.
He was impatient. He was stubborn. He walked around like he owned the place—which he almost did.
His uncle was the CEO.
Ben frustrated Rey. He was everything she wasn’t—except for the stubborn part. Ben was just a typical, spoiled frat boy and Rey let him know just how much she didn’t like him.
Rey rolled her eyes when he didn’t say ‘please’ for the reports he demanded from her every week.
Ben caught on. He gave her the name ‘Sunshine’ a month into her working there. He teased her.
Instead of a simple email to request the reports, he came to her desk and called her ‘Sunshine’.
Instead of a simple email to harass her, he came to her desk and wrote sticky notes. There were all kinds of sticky notes he left her, clinging to her fuzzy wall.
Sunshine
__
Three buns? Really? Is two not enough?
__
Your freckles look like dirt specks
__
We should go on a date. Circle one.
Yes No
She rolled her eyes at the last one. Ben Solo was a child.
And Rey must have been a sociopath, because Rey liked it. She liked when he’d come to her desk instead of emailing her. She liked when he’d tease her.
She would frown and call him things like ‘spoiled brat’ or ‘mommy’s boy’ or tell him that she knew his suit was cheap.
It wasn’t.
She knew that.
She just liked to mess with him in the same way he messed with her.
After two months of working there, it was the Christmas season. The office held a party. Rey rolled her eyes at the Christmas trees and ornaments and stockings around the office.
She really hated Christmas.
But she loved spiked eggnog.
At the party, she stayed at Poe and his boyfriend, Finn’s, side. Rey had two glasses of alcoholic eggnog and ate the snacks like they were about to run out.
They were not about to run out.
Eventually, Poe and Finn went to the restroom, abandoning Rey. She stood by the snack table awkwardly, clutching her glass and shoveling pretzels in her mouth.
“Hi.”
Rey jumped, the pretzels now lodged somewhere in her throat.
“Jesus,” Rey turned around after coughing for a moment, “You’re trying to kill me now? Didn’t know you hated me that much.”
Ben smirked.
Fuck.
He was really hot.
Rey knew he was handsome. His dark hair. His long nose. His pretty, full lips. God, he was handsome.
But tonight, he looked hot.
Maybe it was the eggnog. Rey decided it was the eggnog.
“I don’t hate you, Rey.” he took a sip of his own drink.
Rey watched his lips. They were impossible not to watch.
“I just dislike you.”
Rey now rolled her eyes. She always rolled her eyes.
“Great. Glad we had this conversation. I dislike you more. Goodbye.” Rey turned and faced the rest of the office.
Andy Williams’, It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year, played in the background.
She heard Ben humming it as he stepped next to her.
“I like when you roll your eyes at me, Rey.” he told her in a low tone.
Rey swallowed and shifted her feet.
“I won’t do it anymore, then.”
She made a sticky note in her mind and plastered it to her brain, making sure to remember to roll her eyes more at him.
Ben put his big hand on her lower back. He dipped his head down and whispered in her ear.
“You look really pretty tonight, Rey.”
Rey was squeezing her glass. Hard. She was sure the glass was about to bust. She was pretty sure she was about to bust, too.
Rey was watching the party as she spoke, “What’s your end goal, Beanstalk?”
She heard Ben huff a laugh as he stood up straight, his hand leaving her back.
“I’d like you to go in the closet in the hall. The one by the back stairs where the cleaning supplies are kept.”
Rey giggled, “Are you going to lock me in it or something?”
Ben was formal and matter-of-fact as he replied, “No, I’m going to fuck you in it.”
Rey went white. She could feel Ben smiling.
“See you in a minute, Sunshine.”
Then, Ben left.
Rey chugged the rest of her eggnog and put the glass on a table, scanning for Poe and Finn.
They were nowhere. Nowhere to be found just when she needed them.
Great.
Rey bit her lip and thought for a minute.
No. It’d be very dumb. Very dumb to have sex with someone you work with. Very dumb to have sex with someone you work with at your place of work.
Very dumb.
Rey took a deep breath and told herself that she was dumb.
Very dumb.
She chewed on her nails the whole way there, weaving through coworkers. She stopped to say hi to a few, waved at others, and gave fake smiles all while her brain was screaming.
Rey convinced herself this was a bad idea as she got to the little hallway by the stairs.
Rey gave herself a pep talk before she turned the handle. She was going to tell him no. That this was inappropriate. That she didn’t let people fuck her who weren’t even nice to her.
She was going to stand up for herself.
As she opened the door, all of that went out of the window. Ben wore a smile. It wasn’t a smirk or a sly smile or a sneaky grin that she’d come to know so well.
He was just…smiling.
Friendly. Nice. Like he wanted to see her.
Rey swallowed, “I—Ben I came to say that—I came to say—”
“Shut the door, Rey.”
She shut the door. It was like she was a puppy and he was her owner. She didn’t know why she shut the door. She shouldn’t have.
“What I was trying to say was—”
Ben grabbed her face with both of his hands. He looked at her. Looked at both of her eyes. Searched her.
Then, he kissed her.
It was strange.
Ben kissed like he had everything to lose. Like he was kissing for his dear life. There wasn’t anything lazy about it.
”Hey there.” He whispered.
Rey whispered back a small, “Hi.”
He backed her up, Rey’s back hitting the door. Her hands flew around his neck and their bodies pressed against each other’s.
“Been thinking about you ever since you started here,” Ben’s hands were roaming her body, feeling everywhere.
He moved his tongue with Rey’s.
“Rolling your eyes at me—“
He held her waist.
“I think I love the way you hate me, Sunshine,” he continued, kissing down to her neck.
Rey had to stop from squealing.
“I like your little skirt, Rey,” Ben breathed into her neck, his fingers playing with the end of her plaid skirt, “Can I pull it up?”
Rey nodded, her eyes shut.
Ben tsk’d. He pulled away from her neck and faced her.
“Words, Rey. I need your words.”
Rey opened her eyes and loved the sight. Ben’s lips were a little pink from her faint lipstick. He had a strand or two of hair that lingered on his forehead.
His eyes were full of lust and something else.
“Y-Yeah. Pull it up. P-Please, Ben.”
Ben gave a small smile, more like a smirk now. He nipped at her neck again and pulled up her skirt as Rey wiggled and breathed as if she were running a marathon. She loved neck kisses and bites.
Ben licked her neck and hooked his fingers in the waistband of her panties, “So good, my Sunshine girl.”
“Shit.” Rey whispered, her hands leaving around his neck and going straight for his pants.
She needed to get his belt off now.
As Ben pulled off her underwear, flicking them down her legs, Rey worked at his belt, fingers shaking. Ben started to lick her neck again. He gave small licks, traveling up to her ear, then started to nibble on her lobe.
”Aren’t you such a good girl, helping me?” Ben smiled between bites
Rey whined and unzipped his pants. Ben must have decided she wasn’t doing it fast enough, distracted by his biting and licking, so he took over and had them undone in a flash.
Next thing Rey knew, his cock was out.
And shit.
Big.
Rey kept repeating that same word over and over again in her head.
Big.
She stared at it was parted lips. It had a bead of precum on the tip and all she wanted to do was get on her knees and suck it off.
She’d never wanted to do that before.
Ben started to stroke himself as he stared at Rey’s face.
“You know how much I think about you?”
Rey couldn’t take her eyes off of him pumping his dick. She couldn’t look Ben in the eyes as she shook her head ‘no’.
“A lot, Rey. I think about you a lot.”
“O-Oh.”
Ben stepped even closer to her, his hands no longer on his cock. He bent at the knee and kissed Rey. She felt his big hands on the back of both of her thighs, hoisting her up.
Her legs were now around his waist, her back pressed on the door, and Ben between her legs.
She didn’t know how sex worked from this stance in real life.
Porn, sure.
But she’d never done this, herself.
“C-Can you eve—”
“Never had someone fuck you against a door?” Ben cocked his head and held her ass with one hand, as his other went to his dick, lining it with her cunt.
Rey shook her head and looked down. She thought she might pass out at the sight. It was too perfect. His dick at her pussy. Kissing it. She wanted to scream.
“Such a shame, Sunshine,” Ben kissed her nose, “I can help you with that. Can I help you? Please?”
“Please help me, Ben,” Rey nodded, now desperate.
“Can’t wait to fuck you, Rey. God, you have no idea,” Ben focused his eyes down at his cock and Rey knew he was about to push in.
She blurted, “I-I’m on birth control.”
Face still turned down, Ben looked up at Rey, “Wouldn’t mind if you weren’t, Sunshine.”
Then, he slammed up into her as they both watched him go in.
Rey yelped, but quickly slapped a hand over her mouth.
She’d never felt something that big inside of her. Stretching her. Filling her. Her pussy didn’t know whether to cry or moan.
Rey buried her head into Ben’s shoulder as he moved, holding Rey against the door and fucking up into her.
“Jesus, Rey,” Ben groaned, right in her ear, “You’re so fucking tight and snug.”
Rey’s reply was muffled because her mouth buried in his suit jacket, but she managed a whimper, “You’re so biiiiig.”
It felt good now.
Too good.
Ben was so deep in her at this angle, gravity helping them.
From the amount of pleasure she was feeling, Rey was sure she could fall in love with this man if she wasn’t careful. She’d fall in love with his dick and how it felt in her. Maybe she’d decide this was what she wanted forever, despite the impossible personality of the man.
Rey put another sticky note on her brain: No more sex with Ben. Hit it and quit it.
“Think about you all the time, Rey.” Ben whispered, starting to lick her neck again.
The sticky note she just put up was now in the trash can.
“Think about you like this—” he licked a big stripe up her neck, from her collarbone to her jaw, “—think about you in—in other ways, too.”
Rey reached down to her clit and started to rub.
She needed to come.
Needed to come to his words.
God, his words.
“M-More.” she whimpered in his suit jacket again.
Rey was sure it was covered in drool at this point.
“Think about—” Ben started to fuck her harder, his breathing fast, his hips moving quickly, “Think about your pretty smile, Sunshine.”
Rey pulled his hair with her free hand as the other still played with her clit, going in loose circles.
“My Sunshine girl, Rey.”
Rey’s whole body jolted. She was coming. She didn’t even feel it growing. She just came.
Rey screamed into Ben’s shoulder, the fabric of his suit hiding her voice.
She felt free.
“Your mouth—Want to fuck your mouth next.”
That broke her out of her daze for a moment.
Rey lazily replied, “Whatever you want. Do whatever you want to me, Ben.”
“Fuck,” Ben pressed her against the door hard. He leaned into her. Said another, “Fuck.”
He came inside of her.
Up inside of her.
Rey felt the cum in her.
She felt dirty.
She felt amazing.
She also felt sweaty.
Her and Ben heaved against each other for a few seconds.
Then, perhaps by Ben’s post-nut clarity, he pulled out and dropped her to her feet. It was gentle, but abrupt.
Ben didn’t look at her as he tucked his dick back in his pants.
He didn’t look at her as he took a paper towel from the shelf and blotted it on his forehead and the back of his neck.
He didn’t look her in the eyes as he offered her a paper towel for herself.
He didn’t look at her.
Rey didn’t like that.
So, she didn’t look at him either.
She blotted her own sweat off her skin.
She wiped her neck, ridding it of Ben’s saliva.
She pulled up her underwear and pushed down her skirt.
She wore a frown on her face as she opened the closet door and shut it in Ben’s face.
He couldn’t look at her.
Rey didn’t like that at all.
Rey got on Tinder that night and swiped and swiped, looking for someone that looked like Ben.
Later that week, she had her first no-show.
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After that Christmas party two months ago, Rey swore she wouldn’t fuck Ben.
Look at Ben.
Talk to Ben.
She ignored him.
Glared at him.
Went back to calling him a spoiled brat.
He went back to calling her ‘Sunshine’.
Coming to her desk for no reason.
Leaving her sticky notes.
She had a drawer full of them now. She never threw them away.
Two weeks after the Christmas party, Ben put his big hand on Rey’s thigh during a meeting.
He trailed his hand up.
And up.
And up under her dress.
As Rey shifted in her seat, widening her legs, Ben took his hand away.
He slipped her a sticky note.
Three O’clock.
This went on for two months.
Fucking Ben in the office closets and the no-shows.
Every time, Rey said she was not going to fuck Ben at three o’clock.
But she always did.
First, it was once.
Then, it was twice.
Pretty soon after that, it became a weekly thing.
Then, twice weekly.
She’d fuck Ben on Fridays and Tuesdays, usually. She’d kiss him and he’d tell her how pretty she was and called her his ‘Sunshine girl’. He’d come inside of her, leaving her leaking for the rest of the day, telling her he liked to make her nice and full.
Sometimes, he’d tell her that he wanted to take her birth control implant out with his teeth.
Rey liked that a lot.
Then, they wouldn’t look at each other as they fixed their clothes and left the closet. They’d glare at each other across the office. They’d throw sticky notes at each other. Call each other names.
Ben would never ask if she wanted to fuck outside of the office. Rey figured it was purely just convenience. Pent up anger. Frustration. Sexual tension.
But she found herself wanting to fuck him on the weekend.
After work.
Tease him on the weekend.
After work.
Go to lunch on the weekend.
After work.
So, Rey swiped and swiped, hoping to find someone other than Ben.
And Rey would still get stood up week after week by the men that slowly made her hit list grow.
҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉
Later today, after Ben’s little stunt of bothering her at her desk and licking her ear, Rey went to the closet and got fucked by him, like she always did.
When Rey got back to her desk, she wrote a sticky note that only she would understand.
DNFB!!
(Do not fuck Ben!!)
She got on Tinder thirty minutes later and found a match that looked just like him.
She messaged him to meet up with her tomorrow night at Blue’s Bar.
The match responded with a thumbs up.
Rey had another date.
She hoped he’d go.
She was tired of no-shows.