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Cosmic Love

Summary:

After meeting briefly during an evacuation from Tarsus IV, Jim Kirk and Spock reconnect with each other at Starfleet Academy and fall in love.

Chapter Text

Prologue

 

“James Kirk.”

Jim looked up shyly from the borrowed PADD he had been looking through. He wiped his sweaty palms on his slacks and rose. “I’m James Kirk.”

A guard kind of scowled at him as he surveyed a list he carried with him. “Your parent has come to claim you. Dock 4.”

“My mom?”

The guard shrugged. “No clue, kid. Be on your way.”

Jim walked trepidatiously up to the counter where he’d obtained the borrowed PADD. He handed it back to the lady who took it without comment.

Pulling up his hooded sweatshirt, which had been given him by the volunteers at the space station he and the other children had been taken to when they’d been evacuated from Tarsus IV, to cover his head, Jim shuffled over to Dock 4.

He had a ball of dread in his stomach that it would be Frank, his stepfather picking him up.

As he made his way in the direction of the dock, he noticed another one of the kids from the Tarsus Preparatory School standing alone by himself. He was older than Jim by a few years and Vulcan.

All of the students who attended the school had been evacuated as far as Jim knew. The planet was experiencing a dangerous famine and the headmaster of the school decided to send the kids back to their home planets. Jim didn’t know what else had happened since because there was a news block coming from the planet itself.

All the kids had been taken to this space station where they waited until a parent or guardian could collect them. Some students had already been picked up. Jim was among the last, he guessed, and so was the Vulcan. Spock, he remembered.

“Uh. Hi.”

The Vulcan looked up from the paper book he held in his hands. There was no sign of recognition in his dark eyes as he gazed back blankly at Jim.

“Jim Kirk. The school. We weren’t…you know…in the same year. I think you attended the school longer than I did too.”

When there was no reply, Jim shifted a little, then bit his lip.

“You still waiting for your parents? Spock, right?”

“That is correct to both questions.”

Jim noticed Spock looked a bit blurry. He grimaced, then removed his glasses to wipe them on his shirt. “Sorry, my glasses keep fogging up.”

“It is the moist hot air of this space station.”

“Yeah.” He licked his dry lips and then stuck his glasses back on. “Anyway, I should go as I guess my parent is here. Not sure what to expect.”

Spock did not reply to that, so Jim figured he was certainly not very chatty.

“Could be my mom or my stepdad,” Jim continued. “Hope it’s not him. When will your folks be here?”

“I do not have folks,” Spock said stiffly. “I am expecting my father later this afternoon. He is an ambassador.”

“Ahh.” Jim nodded. “Okay. Well, see you around then, Spock.”

“That is doubtful.”

And that made Jim laugh. Not that it was particularly funny. And he supposed to a Vulcan it wasn’t rude at all, but to Jim? Yeah, okay.  

“Right,” he agreed. “Good travels home, Spock. And sorry we never got to know each other at school.”

He expected no answer to this, so he made to turn around and head to Dock 4 to go home with whomever had arrived.

“Live Long and Prosper, Jim Kirk.”

Jim looked back, smiled, and nodded, and continued on his way.

To Jim’s everlasting relief, Frank did not stand waiting. It was his mother, Winona Kirk.

“There you are! That man left an hour ago to tell you I was waiting here.” She shook her head as she opened her arms to him. Jim went to her and allowed her to wrap him in her embrace. “How are you, sweetie?”

“Okay,” he whispered. “Ready to go home.”

“I bet. We have a long shuttle ride home though. Want to eat something first?”

“No, I just want to go home.” Jim pulled back and looked at her.

She yanked down his hoodie. “I can barely see you. What? Are you in disguise? You’re so gaunt. Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Mom? Uh. Frank?”

She hooked her arm with his and drew him forward. “Kicked him to the curb.”

Jim tried not to smile too much, but damn, he felt good.

“For good?”

“Yeah, I think so. His idea of sending you to that school was terrible. And Sam never has come back.”

Jim sighed. “Yeah. Have you heard from him?”

She shook her head sadly. “Looks like it’s just you and me, Jim.” She stopped and turned to him. She tucked a longish strand of hair behind his ear. “Let’s get you something to eat, okay?”

“Sure, okay,” Jim agreed. And as she led him toward the food court, he spotted a rather severe looking older Vulcan headed in the direction they’d come from. Jim would bed that was Spock’s father. He looked kind of mean to Jim, but he hoped he was wrong.

Chapter Text

 A Few Years Later

“Tarsus Preparatory School,” Captain Christopher Pike read off.

Jim nodded. “Yes, sir.”

Pike frowned. He was seated behind his desk, going over Jim’s application for admittance to Starfleet Academy. “Rough time.”

“Fortunately, the school was evacuated before the worst of it,” Jim replied. He folded his hands in his lap and tried not to twist them together.

“By your headmaster.”

“That’s right, sir. Retired Starfleet captain Robert April.”

“Yes, I knew April. Left active duty after the partial loss of his left leg. Settled on Tarsus IV.” Pike pursed his lips. “Got you all off but he was not as lucky.”

“Yes.”

“How was the school before all that?”

“I learned a lot,” Jim conceded. “My mother taught me not to speak ill of the dead, though.”

Pike smiled slightly at that. “Confidential, James.”

“I prefer Jim for the most part, Captain.”

“Okay, Jim. Tell me what you thought of Captain April.”

“He evacuated all of us students and ultimately saved our lives. For that he’s a hero, sir.”

“But?”

Jim shrugged. “He could be a strict disciplinarian. Which is why I was sent there in the first place.” He paused. “That being said, I think he should be remembered from his heroic acts. 

“I see. You might be interested to know that there’s a currently enrolled cadet who also came from the school.”

“Oh?”

“Spock is his name. Son of the Vulcan ambassador to Earth. Know him?”

“Only rather nominally, sir. I spoke briefly to him when we were both waiting for our parents on the space station after evacuation. Not even sure he’d remember me after all these years.”

“Understood. Well, if you run in to him, I didn’t want you to be surprised.”

Jim smiled. “Run into him, Captain?”

Pike returned the smile and stood up, hand thrust forward to shake Jim’s hand. Jim rose too.

 “Congratulations on being accepted into Starfleet Academy, Jim. You’ll be starting this next semester.”

“Thank you, Captain Pike, I appreciate it.”

****

“I want a milkshake. Do you want a milkshake?”

Jim shook his head, amused at his mother as she sat across from him at the diner they’d headed to after he came out of Christopher Pike’s office. They decided to celebrate by coming to this old diner before boarding the shuttle back to Riverside. The next semester didn’t start for a few weeks, so he’d spend most of that time back at the farmhouse.

His mother had told him that back in her academy days she’d gone to this old diner numerous times with Jim’s dad.

“I’ll pass.”

“No milkshake?”

Jim laughed. “I’m already getting a cheeseburger. I have to fit in my cadet uniform, Mom.”

“You’re slim and fit. But okay. I won’t push. I’m getting a salad that way I can have the milkshake.”

“Okay.” Jim glanced out the window. “I’ll have to be careful not to come here too often.”

“Just like George. Did you know your Grandpa Kirk was turned down for the Academy?”

“Turned down?”

“Yep. Idiots. That’s why your father tried so hard to get in there, you know. Wanted to prove them wrong about the Kirk family. I think he’d rather have stayed on the farm to be honest.” His mother shook her head. “I’m not surprised you got right in.”

“Yeah well. Hey, I guess Captain Pike said there’s another cadet there from the school. Tarsus I mean.”

“Oh?”

“Spock. From Vulcan. I guess his dad’s some dignitary or something.”

Mom pursed her lips. “Do you suppose he was sent there for getting into trouble?”

Jim laughed again. “Doubtful. I mean not everyone there was sent because they were a delinquent, Mom.” He paused. “Some were, obviously.”

“Jim, if I could change—”

“I know. I know it was Frank. And the experience wasn’t all bad,” Jim said, softly. “Anyway, I am guessing not everyone who was there got there because of someone like Frank, but the truth of it is that I know nothing about Spock at all. Maybe he is a secret troublemaker.”

They both laughed at that. The idea did seem absurd.

Later when they had finished their dinner, they headed back for Riverside. Jim couldn’t wait to return to San Francisco to begin the next chapter of his life.

****

Jim had been attending Starfleet Academy about a week before he saw Spock. There weren’t a lot of tall, gorgeous Vulcan males on campus, of course, plus Jim recognized him from their very brief prior acquaintance.

Spock hung out with several other cadets in an area everyone called the quad. There was a large leafy tree with several benches surrounding it and it was there Jim spotted Spock on a couple of occasions.

Jim had doubts about approaching Spock. He didn’t know if he would remember Jim and if he did whether he wanted to remember Jim. He certainly knew Tarsus and those from those years was a sore subject for some.

On the other hand, Jim did recognize Spock and didn’t want to pretend otherwise, not to mention Captain Pike had specifically noted their connection. It would probably not be a good idea to ignore it.

So, when he spotted Spock separating from his group, Jim decided now was his opportunity to approach the Vulcan.

“Hello, Spock.”

Spock stopped in mid-stride and gaze blankly at him.

“Uh. Jim. James Kirk. From Tarsus Preparatory School.”

Spock gave a slight nod. “Yes, I recall. Good day to you.”

When Spock started walking again, Jim blinked in shock.

“Hey,” he called after Spock.

Spock stopped and turned around.

“I thought, you know, because we both went there, I should say hello.”

“And you have done so.” Spock paused. “I don’t mean to be rude, Mr. Kirk, but I am not looking to be part of some sort of Tarsus Preparatory School Survival Club.”

When he made to turn around, Jim laughed.

“Bullshit.”

“Excuse me?”

“You don’t mean to be rude?” Jim asked, incredulous. “You sure as hell do. I never said I was looking to establish some kind of Survival Club, dude. Captain Pike told me you were here, and I saw you and thought to acknowledge you. That was it.” Jim held out his hands, palms up. “It’s absolutely no skin off mine if you want to be a jackass. Feel free to go back to your snooty friends.”

This time it was Jim who turned around to leave, every breath he took feeling steamy from irritation. The days where Jim let himself get walked over were long gone.

“Mr. Kirk.”

He almost didn’t turn around. Kind of was made at himself for doing so.

“Yeah?”

“I…apologize. You have every right to be angry with me. My behavior is uncalled for.”

Jim nodded. “Okay. See you.”

“If you would permit me, Mr. Kirk, perhaps we could go for…coffee?”

Jim should say no. But then, maybe, he’d be as dismissive of Spock as Spock had been of him. And that wasn’t Jim.

“You know, I’m actually a pretty nice guy,” Jim said. He wanted to make sure Spock knew that. Why…? He had no clue.

Spock inclined his head. “Your answer, Mr. Kirk?”

“All right, sure. But then it’s Jim. Or if you have to Kirk.”

“This way.” Spock gestured.

Jim looked at him rather sideways as they made their way off campus. “You drink coffee?”

“I do.”

“I always thought Vulcans were more of a tea drinking bunch.”

Spock shrugged. “I enjoy a cup of tea from time to time, but my preferred beverage is coffee.”

“Hmm. Okay.”

Jim was familiar with the tiny coffee shop Spock led them to as he’d been there a few times with his new friend, Bones. Well, Leonard McCoy. He’d met the doctor on the shuttle to San Francisco.

After they got coffee, Jim’s with cream and sugar, and Spock’s black, they chose a tiny wooden table next to the window.

Jim took a sip of his and then thought about the way to break up the kind of awkward silence.

So he was kind of surprised when it was Spock who spoke first.

“Was it your mother or stepdad who picked you up from the space station?”

“You remembered? Wow.” Jim smiled a little. “My mom, thankfully. Up until then we didn’t really have the best relationship. She was off planet a lot. In fact, I was there at the school thanks to him.” He shook his head. “Anyway, he’s gone. Not dead or anything, but out of our lives. We see him around Riverside sometimes though. Iowa. Where I’m from.”

And Jim turned red knowing he was babbling like a fool. Spock was definitely going to be sorry he didn’t just let Jim walk away. To cover his embarrassment, he took another drink of coffee.

“You got off all right with your dad?”

“I did, yes.”

He didn’t elaborate. Jim didn’t want to press.

Instead he said, “I don’t want to keep you if you have somewhere to be or something.”

“I do not. Not until this evening when I am meeting my friend Nyota for dinner.”

Jim knew who he meant. Nyota Uhura. She was one of the ones he spent time with by the tree in the quad. Probably his girlfriend. Jim guessed he didn’t have a right to ask.

“And you?”

Jim frowned. “Me?”

“I do not wish to keep you from something you would rather do,” Spock said. “I had been having rather a troublesome conversation just prior to your approach, so I did not react well. My apologies.”

“You wouldn’t be the first one to react badly to me,” Jim joked. But Spock did not crack a smile, not even a Vulcan one, so Jim let it go. “Anyway, no plans either. Just studying later at the library. Other than you I’ve only met Bones.”

“Bones?”

“My friend, Leonard McCoy. A doctor. Met him on the shuttle here and he’s got a dorm just down the hall from me.”

“I see.”

And Jim figured he was boring Spock near to death. So he finished his coffee and made to stand.

“Thanks for the coffee, Spock. It was very nice of you. But I really didn’t intend to bother you. Just wanted to say hi.”

“Very well,” Spock said quietly. “Perhaps at another time, I could call on you?”

“Call on me?”

“For dinner, perhaps?” Spock paused. There was the finest tightening around his eyes. Jim almost missed it. “Unless…you are engaged in a relationship with Doctor McCoy?”

“No.” Jim shook his head rapidly. “No, I’m not.” He moistened his lips. Aren’t you seeing Uhura?”

Spock looked perplexed for a moment. “I am not.”

“Oh.”

“Then my question still applies.”

“Yeah. Sure. Uh. Yeah.” Jim knew he sounded like a fool. “You can.”

And then he did leave the coffee shop, a little befuddled. He hadn’t thought Spock liked him at all, let alone to ask him out. Weirdest date request ever, Jim thought. And he wondered if Spock actually would follow up.

Chapter Text

Spock had no experience dating Humans.

He had no experience dating Vulcans either, for that matter. But as far as he knew Vulcans did not expect or desire to be courted in the way Humans seemed to wish.

The concept of going to dinner and/or a movie was an odd consideration to him.

Of course, in practical matters, Vulcan children were bonded to other Vulcan children at a young age in anticipation of one day fully forming the marriage bond.

That was for average Vulcan children. Admittedly average Vulcans were considered superior to others, including himself, who had the distinction of being only half Vulcan. The other half being Human, but that led Spock back to his original thought. Being half Human did not give him any particular knowledge when dealing with attractive Humans one wished to pursue.  

Due to his lineage, in that he was fortunate, Spock’s mother, the Human one, had declared her son would get to choose his own mate, and therefore no betrothal bond had ever been established between Spock and another. That had been one of the only arguments between his parents, Amanda Grayson had won.

That left Spock with his current dilemma.

How to pursue James Kirk.

He’d made a terrible impression. Social graces was not his forte, truly, and he had been startled by the unexpected confrontation with Kirk…Jim…when he’d approached. Spock had not been prepared and had, as Jim pointed out, been rude.

Spock simply could not deny he found Jim quite attractive.

He’d thought about discussing the matter with his friend, Nyota, but she was rather judgmental for the most part, and Spock really did not wish to deal with that sort of behavior from her just yet. Any advice she would have given him was not that important, he decided.

Spock had considered contacting his mother for her advice. She was, after all, quite Human herself. But she would no doubt react with more enthusiasm than the current situation indicated, owing to his bad impression on Jim, and he was not prepared to disappoint her should that bad impression not become resolved.

Because he hadn’t been smart enough to get Jim’s contact information when they’d gone for coffee, Spock had been forced to do some research into which dorm was his. Therefore, he now stood outside Jim’s dorm hoping he did not come off as a stalker.

He almost turned away and left but at the last second, he took a deep breath, and knocked on the door.

The door opened only seconds later, and Jim stood there, staring at Spock in surprise.

Jim was wearing glasses which reminded him teenaged Jim Kirk had worn glasses most of the time. Somehow it made the blue irises appear even more striking.

“It occurred to me that I did not obtain your contact information to further our acquaintance,” Spock said after allowing himself ample time to take in in Jim’s attractiveness.

“Uh. Okay. Want to come in?”

Spock nodded. “Yes.”

He stepped inside the dorm room and was relieved to see that Jim was the only occupant. He had no right to be jealous if there had been someone else with him, but he had only just considered that was possible.

“Would you like to have dinner with me?”

Jim smiled then. Slightly, but it was a smile.

“Now?”

Jim was dressed rather casually. Pajama bottoms, Spock thought. And a tank top. On the coffee table next to a sofa was a container of ice cream.

“Am I interrupting?”

“Just an evening with myself. I don’t really feel up to going somewhere, but perhaps you’d want to stay to hang out or something?”

Spock quickly agreed. “Yes. Yes I would.”

“I can make a pot of coffee.”

And Spock was in and feeling, perhaps, just a bit more positive.

****

With Spock dressed in a big fluffy dark purple pullover sweater and black dress pants, Jim felt decidedly underdressed in his pajamas. But, well, he hadn’t been expecting anyone. And this was his own dorm room after all.

He brought two steaming mugs of coffee over to the couch and handed one to Spock. He had put away his ice cream. He hadn’t felt much like being on display in front of Spock shoveling mouthfuls of Almond Fudge ice cream into his pie-hole.

He poured cream and added sugar to his and then sat down beside Spock.

“Well. This is unexpected.”

Spock seemed startled by this. “Is it? I did express an interest in seeing you again.”

“Yeah. I guess you did. But I figured you were just being polite.”

“I am seldom polite.”

This startled a laugh out of Jim. “Well, you definitely won’t get an argument out of me on that. Both times I’ve talked to you prior to now you were…brusque.”

There was just the barest hint of color to Spock’s cheeks and on anyone else he would have thought it was blushing, but he couldn’t imagine anything making this Vulcan blush.

“Anyway, water under the bridge, I guess. I’m glad you came by. I didn’t really think you would.”

Spock paused to take a sip of the coffee Jim had made. “Though admittedly I am not very skilled at expressing it, I am…interested in you. I find you quite fascinating.”

Jim’s lips curved. “Not sure anyone’s ever put it quite like that.”

“Perhaps not.” Spock’s gaze went to a photograph Jim kept on the wall of Jim and his mother. “Is that from right after Tarsus?”

“It is. We’d just returned to Riverside then. Just a little after that I learned of Captain April’s fate.” Jim looked away. “And some others. The family I was staying with.”

“Yes,” Spock said, softly. “There were several I knew who did not make it as well. It is not something I generally like to talk about which is why I reacted badly to your introduction on campus.”

“Yeah, there are a lot of survivors who are reluctant to talk about it, but honestly, that’s not what I was looking for, you know, to form a club or anything. I’d be fine never to talk about it again.”

“Me too.” Spock sighed. “That time was not one I would like to recall altogether though obviously I do. My father sent me to the school there after my parents separated.”

This surprised Jim.

“Your parents are divorced?”

Spock shook his head. “Vulcans do not recognize divorce in the same sense that other humanoids do. My mother resides on Earth since their separation but there has been no official dissolution of their marriage. She found that she could no longer support my father’s dictates toward his family. She wished for me to go to Earth with her at the time, but my father forbade it.”

“And then shipped you off to Tarsus IV.”

“Essentially, yes.”

“That sucks. Do you see your mom now? Is she nearby?”

“Yes, she is in British Columbia. Her family is from there. She is currently teaching students.”

“Your mom is a teacher and yet your dad sent you to a school on Tarsus?”

“Yes.”

Jim shook his head. “Crazy. My dad died. On the Kelvin. You’ve probably heard.”

“Yes,” Spock acknowledged.

“Mom married an asshole and he’s the one who sent me there. I told you about him. Anyway. You want more coffee?”

Spock paused only for a moment. “Yes.”

Spock found himself somewhat reluctant to leave, so he, perhaps, lingered over his coffee overlong.

Jim had an engaging personality, an animated way of speaking and acting, that Spock found, admittedly, inordinately fascinating.

He’d told a story of how a couple of years ago he and his mother ran into his ex-stepfather in the city proper of Riverside. And that they hadn’t had to do or say anything because “Frank” had managed to make an ass out of himself in public without their help.

Spock did not generally appreciate the humor behind people humiliating themselves, but given what he gathered from Jim’s stories, in this case, he would make an exception for this man.

“Hey. You hungry? I can make us some fried rice.” Jim smiled. He smiled a lot, actually. “Vegetarian of course.”

“You are a vegetarian?”

Jim laughed. “Nope. But I know you are so I can make it sans meat.”

He jumped up from the chair he had been sitting in, but never without constant motion, to go into a cabinet in the little kitchenette. He grabbed out a frying pan and the went to the refrigerator for other ingredients.

“Unless you’re in a hurry to go home?” Jim asked.

“Negative,” Spock said quickly. Home, his own dorm room in the next building over, would be especially lonely without this effervescent man there. He never really had minded being alone, but just then the idea was incredibly unappealing.

He watched while Jim added already cooked rice and assorted vegetables to the pan.

“You know, you mentioned that day that you’d been having an unpleasant conversation with the group you hang out with. Anything you want to share with the class?”

Spock hesitated for two reasons. He did not wish to admit that he was somewhat the butt of jokes and those that had teased him had since apologized for the situation getting out of hand.

“I was…being teased about my nature and I did not react well.”

Jim frowned. “Teased?”

“Yes. About being Vulcan and different than the rest of them.”

“That’s fucked up.”

“Well. They have since apologized and advised they meant no harm.” Spock paused. “I am somewhat sensitive about it due to some issues with Vulcan classmates as a child. I likely overreacted.”

“Or more likely they are a bunch of insensitive jerks.”

Spock found himself smiling just slightly in spite of himself. “Perhaps.”

Jim grinned back. “Rice is done.”

He dished it out then on two plates and brought it over to the table.

“It’s made worse when it’s done by people who are supposed to be your friends, I imagine,” Jim said, handing a fork to Spock.

“It really is a small matter, Jim. And as I said, they did offer apologies.”

“Mm.”

“This is quite good,” Spock said, because it was true, and he wished to change the subject.

“Thanks. Mom taught me how to cook when I returned from Tarsus. Funny how so much of my time after that ended up being about food and nutrition.”

After Spock finished the rice and helped Jim wash the dishes, he had to realize that he probably ought to leave before he overstayed his welcome.

“I will be on my way now, Jim. I very much enjoyed my visit here.”

“I did too.” Jim walked him to the door. “See you soon.”

If Spock maybe had hoped for a goodnight kiss, he was disappointed, as one was not forthcoming. Jim opened the door and smiled, and Spock exited.

A moment later he left Jim’s dorm building and headed to his own.  

Chapter Text

“I should have known you’d be here with your nose in a book.”

Jim looked up from his book and smiled at his friend, Leonard “Bones” McCoy. He sat in a small, isolated table in the back of the Academy’s archive library.

“Hi Bones.”

Bones made a snorting sound and sat across from Jim. He peered at him. “Your glasses are cute and all, but are you sure you don’t want me to fix your sight?”

Jim grimaced. “No thanks. I don’t need anyone messing with my eyes. Mom tried all that crap when I was a kid, and nothing worked. I was allergic to most of that.”

“Sure, but they come up with new stuff all the time.”

“Uh-huh. What’s up?”

“You allergic to any food?”

“Not that I know of.”

Bones nodded. “Christine wanted me to ask you as she’s planning the menu.” He paused. “You want to bring anyone?”

Jim bit his lip. “Well. Maybe. Um. But…is Christine going to make anything, uh, vegetarian?”

“I don’t know. I could ask. Why?”

“Because who I’m thinking of bringing is a vegetarian.”

“Oh? Who is that?”

“A Vulcan named Spock. He’s a cadet. He was over the other night at my dorm. We knew each other from school.”

Bones frowned. “Tarsus?”

Because yes, Jim had told Bones about his past. Pretty much Bones and Spock were Jim’s only friends so far.

“Yeah. He was a few years ahead, but we’ve connected here at the Academy. Not even sure he’ll come. But if he will…”

“All right, I’ll make sure she makes at least one dish he can eat then.” Bones peered at him. “How many of you were there anyway?”

“Oh, probably about twenty of us that Captain April evacuated. He was our instructor or head master, whatever.” Jim looked down at his book. “There were other kids there, they didn’t get out, not then.”

Bones covered Jim’s hand with his. “I’m sorry, Jim. But I’m really glad you’re here. All right, let me tell Christine, and let us know as soon as you can.” Bones stood then and left Jim to his book.

This time Jim was going to have to locate Spock’s dorm. They’d still not given each other any contact information. He shook his head, smiling to himself, and thinking about seeing Spock when he was done at the archive library.

****

Now that Jim stood before the door of Spock’s dorm, he had second and third doubts. He’d come without his glasses, usually only needing them for close up. He’d worn a nice shirt in blue that he knew flattered the color of his eyes and charcoal slacks that he knew were just tight enough to accentuate his rounded butt.

Was it too much?

Jim sighed and knocked.

He was a little startled when the door was opened almost immediately. And even more startled that it was opened by Uhura.

He was disoriented and thought maybe he had the wrong room.

But then just beyond her was Spock.

“Sorry,” Jim mumbled. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“You are not,” Spock said, coming forward to hold the door open wider. “Nyota was just leaving. Goodnight.”

She smiled slightly in Spock’s direction. “Night.”

And she was gone, Jim staring after her.

“Please come in, Jim.”

Somewhat cautiously, Jim entered Spock’s dorm.

“I really didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”

“You were not as I said. As I indicated before, I am not seeing Nyota.  She is merely a friend. We had been discussing one of our mutual courses, but she needed to leave for a date.” Spock closed the door. “It is a pleasure to see you.”

“Is it? Good.”

“Indeed. You have frequently been on my mind since I was at your dorm. Please have a seat. Can I get you anything?”

“Not just now.” Jim noticed a sofa in the main room, so he went and took a seat there. “We have to exchange contact information, Spock, if this is going to work. I mean, cool that Uhura is just your friend, but it could have been pretty awkward if she wasn’t.”

Spock also sat and then he said, “I do agree. However, I wish to make it quite clear that there is no one else that I am pursuing in that type of relationship besides yourself.”

Jim smiled genuinely now, feeling somewhat relieved. “That does make me feel a lot better. I came over to ask you, well, my friend, Bones, Leonard McCoy, and his girlfriend, Christine, has asked me over to dinner on Friday, and they said I could bring someone, so I wondered if—”

“Yes.”

Jim laughed. “Okay. So you’ll come?”

“I will, yes.”

Jim nodded. “Great. I asked that they have something you’d be able to eat. So everything should be good.” He put his hands on his knees to get up. “I’ll come and pick you up at around six. So if there’s nothing else, I’ll get out of your hair.”

“Jim?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you currently have plans?”

“Well. No.”

“Have you eaten?”

“No.”

“Would you stay here then and let me make you dinner?”

Jim sat back down. “I would like that.”

****

Spock did not know what giddiness felt like. He’d read about it, heard about it, but as a Vulcan the idea, the concept, seemed foreign to him, and yet he wondered if the nearly ridiculous sense of pleasure at having Jim seek him out in his dorm room was akin to that giddy feeling.

He’d invited Jim to stay for dinner and yet…Spock had nothing to cook for him. He’d been meaning to go to the store, but he simply hadn’t, and all he had was the replicator. Therefore, he’d be unable to duplicate what Jim had done and cook a meal from scratch.

“Something wrong?”

Spock turned to see Jim standing just outside the kitchen, looking as gorgeous as any human or any thing really, had a right to. He’d taken too long and Jim had begun to wonder.

Spock cleared his throat. “Unfortunately, I lack the ingredients to make dinner myself. I do, however, have replicators that I am able to use to create food. They are the latest models and are quite efficient.”

Jim laughed. It was a sound that filled Spock with unexpected warmth. “Sounds fine to me. Don’t stress over it.”

“Stress?”

“You look a little harried. I’m not at all picky, Spock. You can replicate scrambled eggs and I’m okay with it.” Jim smiled. “It’s just nice spending time with you.”

“Very well.” Spock nodded. “Sit at the table and I will bring you something.”

And that’s what Spock ended up bringing for Jim. Eggs, potatoes and toast, whereas for himself he simply replicated a salad.

As he sat beside Jim at the table, Spock commented, “In truth this probably tastes better than anything I could make. I am not much of a cook as my education did not include those types of lessons.”

“Growing up in Riverside, we didn’t have fancy replicators,” Jim explained. “Never really put them in the house as my dad’s parents preferred making their own food there. Growing it too. My ex-stepfather hated to cook and refused to do it, so my brother and I had to learn or we didn’t eat.” He shrugged.

“You had a difficult childhood.”

“Only in comparison to some. Doesn’t sound like yours was that much better.”

Spock hesitated. “Perhaps not. Though I did not exactly have an abusive parent.”

“Frank was mostly emotionally abusive. Used to say we didn’t matter, that kind of thing. Hit Sam a couple of times. And me once or twice. Worst thing he did was send me to Tarsus and by the time I got off that planet of hell, he was gone.”

“That he hit you at all sickens me,” Spock replied. “If I am ever unfortunate to meet him, I will gladly punch him in the face.”

Jim laughed. “Okay. Well. I don’t really think that’s necessary. How about your parents, what were they like?”

“When I was young and Mother still lived on Vulcan, they argued a lot. My father was very strict and insisted on adhering to only the Vulcan way, which ended up being far more difficult for my mother than she anticipated. I believe that she loved him and went into the marriage with the best of intentions, but the arrival of me changed things for her.” Spock shook his head. “In the end, my father’s coldness became too much for her and she wished to take me with her to Earth, but he would not allow it, and with Vulcan elders backing him, she lost.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I was sent to the school on Tarsus IV because my father believed I had a rebellious nature that could be curbed there with instruction. When he brought me home, and later, all that happened there came to light, my mother was furious. They barely speak now.”

“That really sucks, Spock. I get where your mom is coming from, but to be fair, no one knew what would happen on Tarsus IV, so in that regard, it’s not his fault.”

Spock agreed. “Quite. But Mother is an emotional being and it was her opinion that he should have listened to her and sent me to school on Earth near her as she wanted. In any event, when I returned to Vulcan after we were evacuated, my instruction was quite regimented. I was being groomed to attend the Vulcan Science Academy.”

“And yet here you are.” Jim smiled. “I’m glad.”

“As am I.”

Chapter Text

The evening was getting later and later and though it was nice, Jim was staring to wonder if he and Spock were going to just dance around what they both wanted.

Okay, so maybe not that far. Sure, Jim wanted that. He did. But the truth was he had never done that with anyone. And he wanted to. With Spock. Yeah. But first, maybe, they could get something as simple as the first kiss out of the way. Only the night was nearly over, as Jim had previously thought, and he really needed to go back to his own dorm, because he had an insanely early class due to a sadistic professor.

So Jim got up from Spock’s really rather uncomfortable proper sofa and he made his way to the door, thinking about how many times they had to do this before it was okay to get to the really good stuff, and wondering if the night they went for dinner and Bones’ would work. He could totally see his friend going apoplectic thinking he had lost his virginity to Spock that night. But hell, maybe it should do it before that, because that was still a couple of days off, but then there was still that elusive kiss and…

Suddenly he found himself against the wall, right next to the door, being very thoroughly kissed. Very, very thoroughly. Breathless. His breath actually hitched in his throat, something Jim hadn’t known could really happen, and then those Vulcan lips that had just kissed him until his toes curled in his shoes, hovered near his, blowing hots breaths against his tingling lips.

His eyes unfocused, Jim said, ”Wow.”

“You think very loudly,” was Spock’s response.

“Yeah? Is that a good-good thing?”

“It is a very good thing.” Spock kissed him again. “The answer is yes.”

“To what question?”

“It should be before that night. It should be tonight.”

****

Spock rather surprised himself with those words, his own actions. But somehow, even though he hadn’t even been touching Jim at the time, he’d known what Jim’s thoughts were. And he relished in them. In the very thought that this human was as attracted to him as Spock was to him.

He supposed he should be alarmed by this overwhelming attraction, but he found he could not be, illogical though it might be.

“Okay,” Jim whispered, his face flushed a becoming pink. “Uh. You-you have the-the stuff?”

Spock’s mind blanked. “The stuff?”

Jim licked his lips. “Lubricant. You know for-uh-penetration.”

Spock blinked. Then nodded slowly. “Yes. Yes, I realize. But no, I do not. I hadn’t thought…it was not planned.”

Jim laughed then. “Yeah, not by me either. Well, that sorta sucks.”

“We could go out and attempt to acquire it.”

“Sure.” Jim bit his lip. “Or we could, um, maybe try something else.”

“Something else?”

Jim put his hand on Spock’s neck and drew him forward for a kiss that Spock eagerly reciprocated. For a time, they merely kissed, though it was hardly mere to Spock, then sort of just breathed in each other.

Finally, Jim looked into Spock’s eyes, his gaze a saturated blue he had never experienced on Vulcan or perhaps anywhere, dropped his voice to a bare whisper and said, “Have you heard of a sixty-nine?”

And right there his pulse leaped. Though inexperienced himself, Spock was not naïve, and he knew sexual terms and slang quite well.

He stared into those eyes. Swallowed hard.

“Yes, I am familiar.”

Jim smiled, it was wolfish and sweet at the same time. He flicked his head toward Spock’s bed. “Shall we?”

Spock had Jim lying on his bed—not sure they’d fit on the single, but certainly willing to try—squirming underneath him as he assailed Jim’s mouth with kisses. He had managed to get his finger under Jim’s shirt and was scooting it up to reveal smooth bare skin when—

There was a rather loud knock on his dormitory door.

And right then, Jim basically freaked out. He made a yelping sound, shoved Spock off him, and scrambled to his feet. He was so red that Spock became concerned.

“Jim—”

Jim was yanking down his shirt and pressed his palm to his crotch.

Resigned as yet another knock sounded, Spock went to the door and opened it, quite aggravated at the interruption, and ready to bite the head off of whoever it was.

“Spock, I…”

His mother.

She looked past Spock and immediately saw the very embarrassed Jim looking so uncomfortable, Spock had the urge to hold him to calm him down. He could not though.

“I’m so sorry,” Mother exclaimed. “I didn’t know…Hello, I’m-I’m Spock’s mother.”

Jim had already made a beeline for the exit. His blue eyes were a bit shiny and he had reddened more if that was possible.

“Jim.”

Mother moved out of his way, because otherwise Spock was certain he’d plow right through her.

“I’ve gotta go, Spock.”

And he was gone.

Mother covered her mouth with her hand. “I’ve interrupted something rather important, haven’t I? I’m sorry, Spock. My visit to San Francisco was unexpected and I just assumed you’d be here and…alone.”

Spock exhaled very slowly. “It is pleasant to see you in any circumstances, Mother.”

“I really am sorry. He looked like a very nice young man.”

Spock nodded. “He is.”

Mother embraced him then, as was her usual way, and Spock brought her to the dining room table while he made tea, her preferred drink.

“You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend.”

He shrugged slightly. “It is a recent event and one that still included preliminary exploration.” He realized how that sounded, given on what she nearly came in on, and cleared his throat. “I will make sure all is well later. For now, I am anxious to learn the meaning of your unexpected visit.”

“It’s nothing nefarious, I assure you. A friend had business here and invited me along. I thought it would be fantastic to see you. It was last minute and I wanted to surprise you.” She smiled warmly. “I guess I have.”

“Indeed.” Spock took a sip of the tea he had made. “A friend.” Though he did not wish to think of her moving on from his father, they had been separated for some time, and the possibility was there. “A male friend?”

“Yes, Spock, my friend is male.”

He felt his jaw clench, though he wished it was not so.

“How is your father?” she asked then.

“Given circumstances, I believe he is well.”

Mother finished her tea, then made to stand. “I’m staying at the Imperial Hotel. Join me for breakfast?”

“Just you?” Spock could not help himself. It was illogical to resent his mother from trying to move on from a relationship that had not worked for her, yet, he supposed he would always be that small boy who watched his mother leave his father and somehow blamed himself.

“Just me.” She smiled as she made her way to the door. “You can bring Jim if you’d like. If he’s willing to see me after what happened tonight.”

“I will see.”

When she left his dorm, Spock did not hesitate. He would go to Jim’s dorm now that she had gone. But first, he made a quick stop at the corner market for, as Jim had said, lubricant.

Chapter Text

Jim opened the door tentatively to the knock on his dorm door. He had a feeling it was Spock, though he certainly hoped Spock hadn’t thrown his mother out on Jim’s account.

Sure enough the Vulcan stood there.

“Hey.” Jim shifted a bit and pushed up his glasses on his nose. He’d changed into them earlier. “Uh. I’m sorry I bailed on you earlier. It was just…well…”

“I do apologize for the unexpected intrusion of my mother. May I come in?”

Jim held the door open and stepped back. He saw Spock carried a bag.

“What’s that?”

Spock seemed to hesitate a moment, but as Jim closed the door, he opened the bag and withdrew the contents. “I made a stop on the way.”

Jim stared at the bottle of lubricant. Moistened his lips. “Oh.”

“I thought, perhaps, given the interruption, we might wish to…start again.”

“I didn’t mean to be rude to your mom. I just, well, I hadn’t really expected that.”

Spock nodded. “Nor had I. That is not the norm for her. It was to be a surprise.”

Jim smiled a little. “She got that part right.”

“Indeed. Will you…allow me to stay?”

Jim came to him then, put his arms around Spock’s neck, and kissed him, deepening the kiss until Spock murmured low in his throat, kind of a cross between a purr and a growl.

It did crazy things to his heartrate.

“I think…you’d better.”

****

Spock kissed Jim for a long time. Holding him close. Arms around his waist. Just kissing. He wanted no pressure on either of them. Yes, he’d brought the necessary lubricant. And yes he wished for them to do whatever they felt like doing, but…on the other hand, he didn’t want to rush Jim. Or himself. They had time.

They made it over to Jim’s single bed. Fell on to it. Lips still connected. Arms still locked around each other. A fleeting thought was that they really needed bigger beds, both of them.

During a particularly heated kiss, Spock managed to knock Jim’s glasses askew, which caused a puff of a laugh to escape from Jim’s mouth to Spock’s and somehow it was like breathing the same air.

Spock removed the glasses and put them on a little side table by Jim’s bed. Now as he drew back and looked into those sapphire eyes, Spock thought they were like the most beautiful of jewels. He felt a bit foolish thinking this but he did anyway.

Jim licked his lips and Spock watched him. He watched Jim’s every move.

“Do you want to…do what we talked about or…like the-the full thing?”

Jim’s shy question filled Spock with so much warm affection and yes, lust, that it was almost too much for a Vulcan. He put his hand on Jim’s face. Everything about him, about this human, felt perfect, felt right.

“I want…everything with you.”

“Have you-you ever—?”

“I have no more experience than you, Jim, but…I have done research and I understand the logistics.”

Jim turned a bit pink, but his smile lit up his face. “Well…as long as you understand the logistics.”

“You are laughing at me.”

Jim shook his head, but his smile widened. “No. I mean, sure, but only a little. I, uh, too did some research. And I know how it works too.”

Spock’s lips twitched. “That is good.”

Jim returned to kissing him, and all amusement fled Spock’s mind, and his thoughts turned to what would happen next.    

****

Clothes were strewn about Jim’s dorm. They finally were lying naked on the little bed. Spock on Jim, kissing him breathless. Whatever experience neither of them had, Spock was a damn fine kisser.

And damn fine too. Before they’d gotten on the bed again, Jim had snuck a look at Spock’s nude body. Maybe he was wrong, but Jim was pretty sure Spock was extremely well built.

Everywhere.

And perhaps that part being well built ought to scare him a bit but it didn’t.

Jim sucked in a gulpful of air when Spock paused long enough to allow it. When Spock resumed his mouth’s assault, Jim lowered his hand between their bodies and closed his fingers around Spock’s hardening shaft. Of course, Jim knew what one felt like, having one himself, but this seemed somehow different. Having his fist around someone else’s dick, and Spock’s for pity’s sake, well…Jim considered his mind blown.

Spock moaned and stopped kissing Jim long enough to say hoarsely, “I can blow something else should you desire.”

Mirth bubbled up inside him. “Oh, I desire all right. Wait, were you reading my mind?”

“I am a touch telepath,” Spock reminded him. He groaned loudly when Jim swiped his thumb over the head of Spock’s cock. “For someone who has not done that you are remarkably talented.”

“Well.” And Jim was blushing. “I have one, you know, and have done some…practicing.”

Spock arched a brow. “Yes, I take your meaning. I cannot deny a bit of research in that way myself.”

Jim grinned, pulled him down for another kiss, but this time Spock pulled away.

“If your desire is for me to work my mouth on that particular appendage of yours, we will need to cease kissing, so that I may move down there.”

This time Jim laughed out loud. “Oh, my gosh, you’re so cool. I never imagined sex would be so funny and fun at the same time.”

Spock shrugged, kissed Jim once more, and then began to crawl down Jim’s body, dislodging Jim’s fingers from his own dick as he did so.

Jim’s breaths shorted. This was real. Spock was about to—

“Ahhhhh.”

Chapter Text

Spock could admit to being surprised when Jim agreed to go with him the next morning to meet his mother for breakfast.

“How do I look?” Jim asked.

He had directed the question to Spock, even though he was looking in the mirror at the time. Jim had dressed in a pair of black slacks that were too big for him and a buttoned-down white dress shirt. It looked like a uniform. He almost looked as though he were back in their school days on Tarsus

On the other hand, Jim had initially pulled on a pair of obscenely tight jeans. Spock had vetoed those.

“You look presentable.”

Jim popped his glasses onto his face and then looked at Spock with a very unamused expression. “Presentable.”

“Yes. To my mother.”

“Oh, all right. But damn, you could at least say I look fantastic or something.”

Spock smirked slightly. “Vulcans do not lie.”

That earned him a tossed throw pillow to the head. Spock caught it, of course, before it collided with his skull.

He frowned down at it. “This seems an odd item for you to have. You do not seem to be the decorative sort.”

“Hey, I can be into décor and stuff.”

Spock arched a brow. “Are you?”

“Well. No. Actually Bones got me that. He said I needed some ambiance.”

Spock knew that McCoy was merely Jim’s friend, but the idea he was buying stuff for Jim’s dorm still made him illogically jealous.

“Are you prepared to depart?”

“Yup.”

Jim followed Spock out of the dorm and then turned to lock it before they headed out to meet Spock’s mother on foot.

“Are we going to a vegetarian restaurant”

“The restaurant Mother has chosen has both vegetarian and non-vegetarian choices. It is attached to the hotel she where she is staying.”

Jim fell silent then, and ten minutes later they reached the hotel.

“Ugh.” Jim stopped outside the restaurant and made a face.

“What is it?”

“I shouldn’t have worn a long-sleeved shirt. I’m nervous and it’s hot out here.”

Spock frowned. “So?”

“So, genius, my pits are sweaty. Now I have sweat stains when I meet your mom.”

He shook his head. “I assure you that my mother’s first impression of you will not be that you have sweaty pits.”

There was a laugh behind them and they both turned, startled.

“You never know.” Mother had come up behind them and she was smiling wide. She wore a cool sundress and had forgone the head scarfs she had worn back on Vulcan. “I’m kidding of course.”

“Uh.”

Mother held out her hand to Jim who took it rather awkwardly. “Hello, Jim. I’m so happy to meet you under better circumstances than my ill-timed intrusion yesterday.”

Jim, who had turned red, stared at her.

“Oh, you mustn’t be nervous. Everything will be fine.”

“It will?” Jim finally croaked out.

“Of course. Shall we go in?”

Jim nodded, visibly swallowed. Mother tugged at her hand which Jim still held.

“S-Sorry.” He released it.

They were seated at a booth and after Jim slid in, Spock sat beside him and across from his mother. Part of him had chosen to let Jim sit first so that Spock could block Jim’s exit, should he wish to do so. Spock thought he looked like he might.

Spock picked up and handed a menu to Jim when he realized Jim was just staring at them, like a deer caught in headlights, as they say.

Jim blinked at him, then opened the menu. Spock put his hand on Jim’s leg under the table discreetly and attempted to project calm into Jim. It was true he had never attempted such a thing with his telepathy, but he hoped it would work.

After they ordered, Jim did seem to calm somewhat, so Spock was unsure if that was from his touch or Jim just realizing his mother wasn’t going to pounce.

“How did you two meet?” Mother asked, taking a sip of her tea.

Jim tensed beside him, so Spock squeezed his leg.

“Most recently at the Academy.”

“Most recently?”

Spock shared a glance with Jim. “Our first meeting was when we were both students at the school on Tarsus,” he explained quietly. “We were evacuated by Captain April at the same time.”

“Oh.” Mother nodded. “I’m so sorry about all of that, Jim. You’re all right?”

“Yes, Ma’am. I was unharmed, thanks to the captain.”

“Thank goodness both of you were. And all the rest that Robert April saved.”

“But not himself,” Jim said softly. He looked down at his coffee cup.

“Yes. Too many perished on Tarsus IV.” She cleared her throat. “A change of subject then. I’m very happy that you found each other through Starfleet Academy.”

“Indeed,” Spock agreed. “It was an unexpected fortuitous event.”

Jim gave him a look, but he smiled for the first time in several minutes. “Yes, very fortuitous. I don’t actually think your son was very happy to see me at first. But my charm changed his mind.”

Mother laughed. “I can see why. You’re actually exactly who I would picture Spock being interested in.”

Jim’s smile widened. “Yeah?”

“Oh, definitely. He’s very much like Sarek. His father. Both cannot help but be attracted to Humans, I think.”

Mother.”

“It’s true. Plus, one as absolutely gorgeous as you, Jim? How can he help himself.”

Ma’am.”

She waved away both their protests. “Fortunately, though in many ways, Spock is like Sarek, there are also many ways he’s like me.”

“My parents are separated,” Spock said to Jim. “And have been for a number of years.”

“Well, despite our differences, I still care about Sarek a great deal. But being with a Human spouse ended up being too challenging for him. That is why Spock being somewhat like me, is fortunate.”

“You will scare Jim off,” Spock said.

Mother glanced at Jim. “Are you scared off, Jim?”

“Nope. It takes a lot to scare me, Ma’am.”

“Amanda.”

Jim smiled his acknowledgement. “Amanda. And no worries. I can definitely handle my own.”

“Yes.” She returned his smile. “I believe that you can. Spock, it seems, is very lucky to have met you.”

Jim put his hand on Spock’s leg. “Mutual, I’m sure.”

“Indeed,” Spock murmured. He was glad the food had arrived.   

Chapter Text

“I think that went reasonably well, don’t you?” Jim asked later as they had departed breakfast with Spock’s mom.

He hoped Spock agreed. Jim hadn’t ever met a parent before. Not like this, anyway. A couple of the guys who were being evacuated from Tarsus, well, when they were waiting on the space station, Jim had met them in passing. But that was years ago and not for a romantic partner.

And having a romantic partner was…strange anyway.

Not bad strange. And they’d already had some intimacy, but not everything. And Jim hoped to rectify that soon.

But sure right now he wanted to make certain Spock thought he’d made a good impression.

“I do, yes,” Spock replied, though his tone was somewhat faint, absentminded.

Jim glanced at him. “Are you okay?”   

Spock nodded. “It has just occurred to me that my mother does…well without my father.”

“What do you mean?”

Spock stopped to open the door to his dorm and let Jim inside. When they were, he turned to face Jim.

“I am uncertain the same could be said for my father. He seems to struggle more with their separations than she does. When it happened, I was concerned it would be more…emotionally challenging for Mother, but I see now that it is precisely the opposite.”

Jim smiled faintly. “And that bothers you?”

“Not exactly. I am gratified that she has seemed to adapt quite easily to a return to her human life. Perhaps more easily than she did to life with a Vulcan. He has merely not fared as well, and it has occurred to me that she handles her emotions better than he does.”

“I’m not sure that’s all that surprising, Spock.”

“It is not?”

“Vulcans repress everything don’t they? Obviously I don’t know everything and I’ve never met your dad, it just seems it might be more…challenging as you say for him since he doesn’t allow himself to experience the grief of the end of a relationship.” Jim shrugged. “Maybe I’m wrong.”

“What you say does have merit. Still I feel that I need to check on my father in the near future.”

“If you want me to go so you can do that, I’m fine with that.”

Spock shook his head. “I would rather you stay here.” He paused, “In fact…” He shook his head again.

“What?”

“We spoke of bigger beds.”

“Uh-huh.”

Spock sighed. “Perhaps it is too soon to speak of.”

Jim smiled encouragingly. “What?”

“I have thought, we might request a double dorm room.”

“A double?”

“There are two types. One with two separate bedrooms with similar beds to what are in our current arrangements. But there is one with a larger single bedroom that has what I understand is a queen-sized bed. It would…be ideal for both of us.”

Jim’s smile widened. “I see.”

“If that is not your mutual preference I will withdraw the proposal.”

“You don’t have to worry about that.”

“I do not?”

Jim moved closer and put his arms around Spock’s neck to draw him into a kiss. “I think a dorm together would be quite beneficial.”

“Then you are not disturbed that I already made a query regarding the availability?”

Jim laughed. “No, it takes way more than that to disturb me.”

“I have learned there is a waiting list for the type that would suit. We are…third.”

“Okay. Sure. So in the meantime we have to make due with what we have for now.”

“Yes. I thought about acquiring an apartment but that is a much more extravagant expense than the dorm.”

“I’m fine waiting for one for us to get together. In the meantime, we can deal.” Jim kissed Spock’s soft warm lips. “And right now? Maybe we should deal right there in your bed.”

Spock blushed slightly. “You do not wish to wait for the evening?”

“Only if you want to.” Jim laughed at Spock’s expression. “Actually, you know what? It’s fine. I’ll leave you to contact your dad or whatever. I’ve got some things I should probably get done, and then I’ll be back here tonight. Does that sound okay?”

“It was not my intention to make you leave, Jim.”

“I know and you aren’t. But we’ve spent the last day or so together and there’s a few things I should get done and I know you want to check on your dad. No offense, Spock, I don’t think I want to meet your dad all in the same day as your mom. Baby steps, Spock.”

Spock nodded, his lips turning upward just a bit. “That is wise. Plus it would be a difficult conversation to have with him asking him how he is dealing with the separation with you sitting there in the background. He will not be forthcoming.”

“Right.” Jim pressed his lips to Spock’s once more, deepening the kiss. “Tonight…you and me? I want to be with you, Spock.”

“I look…forward to it.”

Jim laughed and detached himself from Spock. “Good. See you later.”

He slipped out of the dorm and as he did he noticed Spock’s friend, Uhura, coming down the hall toward Spock’s door.

“Oh. Kirk. Guess you were just in there with Spock.”

“Yep.” He smiled. “But I’ll see him again tonight. I think he was about to contact his dad, but if you hurry, you can probably catch him.”

“Okay, thanks. Um.” She pursed her lips.

“Yeah?”

“Just…Spock really likes you. He doesn’t like a lot of people and definitely not like that, so, just, be good to him, all right?”

“I like him, too. You don’t need to worry.”

She smiled and nodded. “Okay, bye, Kirk.”

“Bye.”

He headed off to his own dorm, thinking really, he ought to try to contact his mom. It had been a while and Spock talking about his parents had Jim thinking. It was probably time.

Standing in front of his dorm, though, was someone he knew.

From Tarsus. He hadn’t seen him in years

“Kevin?”

Chapter Text

“Uh. Come in.” Jim opened the door to his dorm room with a little hesitation.

It wasn’t that he was afraid of Kevin Riley. He wasn’t.

He’d been a couple of years younger than Jim and honestly, he hadn’t even known if the younger boy made it out at the time. He wasn’t among those that Captain April had helped to evacuate. At least that Jim recalled. He thought he remembered the faces of all the boys. He had nightmares for a couple of years after that, though they had all made it out.

Kevin followed him inside and looked around somewhat nervously.

The place was a mess, there was no getting around it. Dirty clothes strewn about. Empty coffee cups with dried coffee remnants on the bottom. Jim had other things on his mind other than tidying up.

And all that led to the reason he hesitated letting Kevin in. He didn’t fear him and he didn’t care that much if he saw the place a mess, it was more, what in the world would Kevin Riley want with him? They had not been direct classmates. They had not been friends.

“Can I get you something, Kevin?”

“Yes.” Kevin seemed to shake himself. “No. I mean, no. Thank you.”

He was thin and frail looking, Jim decided. Like he’d never truly left Tarsus behind and hadn’t been eating properly. He had no idea if that was true, Kevin just looked that way. He wore the uniform of a cadet, though, which he guessed, explained how he knew to find Jim.

“Sir down then, okay?”

Kevin moved toward the small couch in Jim’s dorm and carefully lowered himself to sit. Rather than join him there, Jim grabbed a dining room chair and sat with the back forward, and his legs straddling it.

“You’re attending the Academy?” Jim asked.

“Yes, this is my first year,” Kevin said so softly it was nearly a whisper.

Jim nodded. “Not that I’m not happy to see you survived…things, but why are you here, Kevin?”

“Well. I remembered you from those days. I saw you across campus. And then one day, well,”. Kevin stopped and blushed. “I followed you to see where you were staying. I wasn’t going to bother you, honest, but then…”

“Then?”

“I kept wondering if I was the only one.”

Jim frowned. “Only one?”

Kevin looked away. “I know you and some others were evacuated by Captain April before he was…before his life was ended. I wasn’t among those as that day, when he began evacuating students, my parents had me stay home. There were all kinds of rumors about what was going on, but they thought it would all blow over and everything would work out. They didn’t believe the evacuation was necessary. They were among many who thought April acted recklessly and deserved it when the government there arrested him.”

“I see. Go on.”

Kevin shrugged a little helplessly. “They were wrong. Everyone was and Captain April was right. But no one knew then. My parents, they were murdered, by Governor Kodos’ soldiers. They were deemed not worth of living.”

“I’m sorry, Kevin.”

“I spent a lot of time hiding out from the soldiers, but I was eventually rescued with those that remained, but Jim…”

 “Yeah?”

“Kodos was supposed to have died. There were reports he killed himself and then perished in a fire set to the governor’s mansion.”

“Right.”

“He didn’t though.” Kevin leaned forward, hands folded in front of him. “He faked his death.”

“A body—”

“It wasn’t his. The DNA was faked too. He’s alive, Jim. And coming for me.” His eyes were wide and paranoid. He had gone sickly pale.

“Kevin.”

“It’s true! I’ve had these dreams—"

“Dreams can be a powerful thing, Kevin. What proof do you have that Kodos is alive?”

Kevin looked down at his clenched hands. “I have none. Just that I know it.”

“Why would he come for you, specifically.”

His gaze rose to Jim. “Because I saw him. I know his face. I saw him before I left Tarsus. And that’s what I want to know. Am I the only one? Would you know him if you saw him now, Jim?”

“Kodos?’ Jim shook his head. “I honestly don’t know, Kevin. I did see him once after a class one day. I walked near the mansion, I’d been fighting with my guardian there, so I didn’t go to where I lived. I snuck into the garden and Kodos was there.”

Kevin stared, wide-eyed at him. “And did he speak to you?”

“Yeah, he did. He told me to leave if I didn’t want to get in trouble. So I did. That was the only time I saw him.” Jim sighed. “But I’d know his voice. He had a distinct deep voice with a slight British accent.”

“Yes,” Kevin whispered. “So you’re a target too.”

“Kevin—”

“He’s alive, I know he is. And if he tries to come out as someone else, Jim, both of us will know him. You might not know his face, but you would know his voice. You said so.”

“Yes, but, if Kodos was alive, surely he would have come out as someone else by now already.”

“I’m sure he has. Only now he’s coming to Earth and he’s worried we will know him.”

“I know you believe that, Kevin, but just because you dreamt that doesn’t mean—”

Kevin rose then and balled up his fists. For a moment, Jim thought maybe Kevin planned to hit him. He didn’t though.

“I know you don’t believe me. But you will know soon enough. You’re in danger, Jim. And anyone else who saw him too. You’d better ask that boyfriend of yours.”

“What do you know about that?”

Kevin walked toward the door of Jim’s dorm room. “I’ve seen you with the Vulcan, Spock. And I know he was on Tarsus too. Don’t say you weren’t warned.”

And then he opened the door and left, leaving Jim feeling unsettled.

“Weirdo,” he muttered.

Dreams were just that. They didn’t come true and there were no such things as premonitions.   

Still, he sent a note to Spock.

When you’re done talking to your father. I need to talk to you.

And then he went to his door and locked it.

Chapter Text

Jim didn’t want to say he got a little paranoid over the next few hours. After all, nothing had really changed. He hadn’t known about Kevin’s Kodos delusions before that, if that’s what they were, and knowing about them now didn’t mean he was in any more danger than he was before.

If he was in danger at all.

In fact, if he was, knowing about Kodos being alive, and possibly coming back as someone else, and being after those who could potentially identify him, might be a good thing. Being prepared and all that.

Perhaps if he had been able to speak immediately with Spock, he might feel less…oh, not afraid. No. Unsettled. Right.

But he hadn’t yet heard from Spock and that didn’t bother him at all. Nope. Everything was peachy.

Yet when there was a rather loud, sharp knock on his door, he very nearly jumped out of his skin. Luckily, he was way too, er, macho to actually jump.

Jim approached the door as though he expected it to explode. Stupid. And a part of him didn’t want to answer it at all. But if it was Spock—

He put his ear to the door and wondered if he ought to ask Pike if it might be a good idea to put peepholes in the dorm room doors. Why didn’t they have them anyway?

He also remembered seeing an old horror movie where the guy had put his ear to a door just before the murderer stabbed a giant knife through his head, so Jim quickly moved away.

Geez, Kevin and his crap had definitely spooked him.

The knock came again.

Jim thought they should really issue phasers to cadets.

He opened the door and peered out at—

“Bones!”

“Took you long enough.”

And his friend sort of barreled through Jim and into his dorm. Jim peered into he hallway but saw nothing abnormal. He quickly closed and locked the door, turning to Bones with a big smile.

“Am I glad to see you!”

Bones eyed him, arms folded across his chest. “Are you? You seem a little stranger even than normal.”

“Something has happened.”

“I thought so. Make me some coffee and tell your doctor all about it.”

Jim rolled his eyes, but he moved over to the kitchenette area to do just that.

“Is this about Spock?”

“No. I mean, well, sort of. But not really. Indirectly. I guess.”

Bones sighed. “That’s really clear, thanks.”

Jim pressed brew on his coffee maker and then leaned against the counter. “Kevin Riley was here a short time ago.”

“Oh yeah?”

Jim nodded.

“Who the hell is Kevin Riley?”

Jim laughed in spite of the situation. “You know I told you both Spock and I were evacuated by April from Tarsus IV.”

“Yes,” Bones agreed.

“Kevin was in several grades below us also on Tarsus, he wasn’t evacuated when a lot of the other students were, because I guess some parents had issues with Robert April Anyway, unfortunately, for Kevin, his parents were one of those who kept him out of school when the rest of us were saved.”

“All right. So if he came by, he survived right.”

“Yeah, but not his parents. They were murdered by Governor Kodos’ thugs. I guess during all that, Kevin hid or would have likely been disposed of with his parents, and he saw Kodos’ face at the time.”

“So? Kodos is dead. He committed suicide and then burned up in the fire at his mansion.” Bones frowned. “Or that’s what they say.”

“The official word, yes. But Kevin now maintains Kodos faked his death and is now out there determined to reemerge with a new face.”

“Does he have proof?”

Jim shook his head. “Just nightmares.”

Nightmares?”

“Right. And Kevin believes that Kodos knows exactly who, out of the survivors, saw him in person, and would recognize that he didn’t die on Tarsus IV. Kevin thinks he’ll come after those survivors.”

Jim poured Bones a cup of the now brewed coffee.

“And let me guess, he thinks you saw Kodos too.”

Jim winced. “Yeah. And he’s not wrong.”

“You saw him yourself? From a distance?”

“Nope. Up close and personal.” Jim shrugged. “Well, not really that personal, and I was just a kid. This was probably a year or so before the famine even started becoming a possibility. I was angry at my guardians, and I ran away for a short time. I ended up at the governor’s mansion and wandered into his garden. Kodos was there.”

“How do you know it was him?” Bones asked.

“He talked to me. He asked me my name and I told him. Why wouldn’t I then? And he told me he was Governor Kodos. He said I was trespassing and should leave, return to wherever I came, and I did. So not only do I know his face, or did, I knew his voice.” Jim shook his head. “But he gave speeches all the time, so anyone would know his voice. Unless he did something to change it.”

“If Kodos was alive, why would he be concerned about Kevin and the others now? Why wouldn’t he come back before this as someone else?”

“Beats me. And if he did, he’d probably come back with a new face.”

“How many actually saw Kodos? Of those that survived.”

“I don’t know. He was…reclusive. Seldom seen in public and mostly when he was, his face was obscured. He was sort of a strange guy. Everyone thought so. Didn’t know much about him. He had a daughter, I think, but no one saw her either.”

Bones sipped his coffee. “What happened to her?”

Jim shrugged. “No clue. Maybe she died in the fire?”

“Did Spock see him?”

“Not that he ever mentioned. But I do need to tell him about this. I don’t know if Kevin’s nutty or I am. But he’s managed to freak me out, no lie.”

“What’s Spock doing now?”

“Parent trouble. His parents split up. You know his mom’s a Human and I guess she had issues with being compatible with her Vulcan husband.”

“Hmm. Something to think about between you and Spock.”

“Spock and I are a long long way from thinking of marriage, but thanks for the unsolicited advice.”

Bones smiled faintly. “Any time.”

“Anyway, Spock wanted to check on his dad to see how he was handling things as his mom seems okey dokey with it. Spock and his dad don’t really talk about it, though, so I don’t know how much success he’s having.”

“Two Vulcans not having a discussion about emotions? What a surprise.”

“You’re in one of your moods. What’s up, anyway? Why the visit?”

“You and lover boy are supposed to come for dinner, remember? You keep putting me off. Christine wants to know when you can come.”

“Well, hell. I’ve been distracted. With Spock and his mom and now this stuff with Kevin. Sorry, Bones.”

“You talk it over with lover boy and pick a day. Text me.” Bones looked at the watch on his wrist. “I have a class so I gotta go. You going to be all right by yourself until you hear from Spock?”

“Of course! A breeze.”

“Uh-huh. Maybe you ought to go somewhere public.”

Jim laughed as he walked Bones to the door. “Yeah, yeah. It’s probably nothing. Right?”

Bones nodded. “Right. But, uh, let me look into some medical stuff related to his death. I don’t know if I’ll find anything, but might as well check it out.”

“Great, thanks, Bones. Let me know.”

Jim locked the door again as soon as Bones was gone.  

Chapter Text

Even to Spock his father was emotionally constipated. He guessed that was saying something since all Vulcans had issues expressing emotions comfortably. Lots of myths and misunderstandings existed concerning Vulcans and their ability to feel and just how deep.

If Spock was to hazard a guess, Sarek was likely the poster Vulcan for those misunderstandings.

Never once since his parents’ marriage ended had Sarek expressed any sort of emotional regret. Not to Spock anyway.  Given Spock’s interaction with his mother, he guessed he hadn’t shared such things with his former wife.

Not that they’d had an official divorce. They’d married in Earth tradition as well as had a light bond initiated between them. Not a bond one would generally have between two Vulcans, but one more suitable to their situation as a Human and a Vulcan.

When Mother had left Vulcan and Sarek to return to Earth, that bond had been severed from Sarek’s end. Mother had expressed dismay to Spock at the time, for it was the one thing she had truly missed between her and Sarek, for though she hadn’t received Sarek’s every thought, she had felt a comforting presence in her mind that was gone. Sarek had not, predictably, consulted with his wife about severing their light bond. He’d just gone and done it.

This was only a more contentious part of their marriage. If Sarek had hoped to convince Amanda to return to him, well, in all honesty, Spock could not speculate what Sarek’s motivation was. He only knew that it had hurt his mother, possibly beyond and point of repair between his parents.

“Spock.”

The greeting lacked warmth, but Spock was used to it and attempted to return it in kind.

“Father.” He held up his hand in the ta’al, which Sarek mimicked.

“To what do I owe this contact?” Sarek asked.

Now that he was faced with answering the question, Spock felt a bit foolish to contact his father to learn how he was “feeling”. Even should he be suffering in some way, it was unlikely he would share this with Spock. Sarek had hardly approved of Spock going to Starfleet. Or really approved of anything Spock had ever done.

“I wished to inquire about your welfare.”

“My…welfare.”

‘Yes. I saw Mother.”

“Ah.” Sarek nodded. “I see. How is Amanda?”

“She seems to be adjusting quite well. Nothing is amiss.”

Sarek seemed to take that in, then said, “As for me, I am…mated once more.”

Spock’s whole body went frigidly cold. “What?”

“Your mother and I are no longer together and have not been for some time. Given our…physiology…it was necessary to seek out new companionship.”

“Pon Farr,” Spock whispered.

“Mm. I had met a Vulcan woman who expressed an interest in me and prior to that necessary time, I had been seeing her.”

“I did not know.”

“There was no reason for you to know,” Sarek said bluntly. “At that time, we were merely, as Human’s would say, dating. However, now that she is my wife—"

“And your Earth marriage?” Spock interrupted, which earned him a stern glare.

“Inconsequential. The mating bond is fully recognized as a legal marriage on Vulcan. The Earth marriage was not and was only done to satisfy your mother’s people.”

“Then you are content to be a bigamist.”

Sarek arched a brow. “Hardly that, Spock. I will get around to official dissolution of my Earth marriage to Amanda Grayson at some point. It has not been a priority.”

And there it was, in Spock’s mind. Amanda and her son had never been a priority for Sarek. Spock needed to stop pretending otherwise.

“At some point, I request you come to Vulcan to meet her,” Sarek continued, seemingly unaware of the conflict inside Spock. “She carries my child.”

It definitely took all of Spock’s Vulcan control to show no reaction. He simply nodded.

“I will make future plans to do so.” Spock paused. “I will likely have someone to accompany me at the time.”

“Oh?” Sarek raised both brows. “You have…met someone? A Human?”

“Yes. His name is James Kirk.”

“Kirk. A familiar name.”

“His father was a famous Starfleet officer.”

“Ah. Of course. An interesting turn of events.” Sarek looked off screen. “If there is nothing else—"

“There is not.” Spock once more held up his hand. “Live long and prosper.”

“Live long and prosper.”

And Sarek was gone.

Spock took a moment to wonder if his mother was aware of Sarek’s change in status or if she didn’t, if she cared either way.

He knew he was hardly the only son of a broken home, but it still hurt. And it was certainly unusual with Vulcans.

Spock found that he wanted to see Jim a great deal in that moment. He rose and went to his communicator. It was blinking that he had a message.

 When you’re done talking to your father. I need to talk to you.

Spock frowned and stared to type a response, but changed his mind. He’d go straight to Jim’s dorm instead.

He put the communicator into the pocket of his pants, grabbed his coat, and opened the door.

On the ground in front of his door was a small insignia patch.

Spock bent down to pick it up.

TAC

In the background was an embroidered mountain. He recognized that mountain. And the insignia.

Tarsus Army Corps.

Chapter Text

Spock put the patch in his coat pocket. He would show it to Jim to see what he thought about it.

For the most part, he did not dwell on what occurred on Tarsus IV. Dwelling on past events that could not be changed was illogical. He was grateful that Robert April had evacuated so many from the school before the worst of it, Spock and Jim included. He knew what had happened after. Yet that outcome could not be changed.

He recalled the Tarsus Army Corps. They were commanded by Governor Kodos and did many despicable deed under his orders. Why the insignia patch would be left in front of Spock’s dorm was something he could not even begin to analyze.

Spock pushed up the collar of his coat and headed down the corridor that would take him briefly outside before into another corridor where Jim’s dorm was located.

He had almost reached the door to the outside when someone shoved into him hard knocking him off balance and into the nearest wall.

“Sorry,” he heard a mutter.

Righting himself, Spock glanced in the direction from where he’d come and saw the back of a blonde woman’s head as she hurried away. Spock watched her until she disappeared out of sight, and then he took a moment to ascertain whether he was unharmed. He appeared to be, but he did find the encounter rather…puzzling.

The corridor was large enough that considering there were no others nearby, the woman would not have had to run into him, so he could only assume it had been intentional.

With a shake of his head, Spock stepped outside for short trip to the other collection of dorm rooms. The late afternoon was cool and overcast, seeming to match Spock’s general mood.

The conversation with his father had been…unsettling. He had not expected to learn Sarek had bonded himself to another woman, though he couldn’t even say why that was not expected. His parents marriage had been troubled for some time and he was not a child whose parents were divorcing. He was an adult and had long since lost any delusions that all relationships lasted. It was just…these were his parents and some part of him had always expected they would one day reconcile.

Apparently he’d been a fool.

Then Jim’s message he needed to speak with Spock, the insignia patch, the woman purposefully running into him…yes, Spock felt unanchored in that moment and he did not care for it at all.

Upon reaching Jim’s dorm, he tapped on the door. Only a second later it opened and Spock realized Jim was watching for him.

Spock stepped inside as Jim put his hand on Spock’s arm, then reached past him to shut and lock the door again.

“Jim?”

He was further surprised when Jim threw his arms around him and hugged him tightly. It was not at all an unpleasant surprise. Spock put his arms around Jim and held him close. He closed his eyes, welcoming the feel of Jim in his arms.

After a moment, Jim exhaled softly, and leaned back to look at Spock. “Sorry, I just…I’ve been a little freaked. I’m so glad you’re here.”

“As am I.”

Jim did not let go of Spock as he pulled him toward the loveseat. He gently pushed Spock to sit and then pretty much sat on Spock. Again, he found he did not mind. That Jim was anxious was plain.

“How did your talk go with your dad?”

Spock shook his head. “Not…well.”

“What happened?”

“It is difficult to explain, but I have lost something I never really had.”

Jim frowned. “That definitely sounds bad. I’m sorry, Spock.”

He nodded. “He has moved on from us. Bonded with another, is expecting another child. A…full Vulcan.”

“He’s an idiot,” Jim said, fiercely.

Spock took Jim’s hand in his. “You are shaking. What has happened?”

“’Do you remember Kevin?”

“Kevin?”

“Riley. From-from Tarsus.”

Spock stilled. “Only vaguely. He was in a much younger class.”

“Right. He didn’t get evacuated when the rest of us did. Honestly until I saw him today, if I thought of him at all, I thought he didn’t make it.”

“You saw him today?”

“He came to see me. He’s…the stuff he said. Spock, it sounds nuts.”

“What did he say, Jim?”

“A bunch of stuff, really, but the most important thing is that Kodos is alive and after him.”

“Alive?” Spock was skeptical. It was widely reported that Kodos was killed by his own hand. There was a body.”

“I told Kevin all that and he insisted it was faked and that Kodos knows he saw him in person and that Kodos is after anyone who did.” Jim paused, looked at their joined hands. “Did you ever see Kodos in person, Spock?”

Spock shook his head. “Only from a distance with several others. Not close enough to recognize him. But…”

“But?”

“Outside my door this afternoon someone left a patch with the insignia of the Tarsus Army Corps.”

“What?”

Spock dug into his coat pocket and felt nothing. He frowned and stood up from the loveseat, feeling around for it.

“What is it?” Jim stood.

“The patch is gone. I had placed it in my coat pocket so I could show you. The woman.”

“Woman?”

“On my way a blonde woman knocked into me rather violently. I am certain it was intentional. She must have taken it.”

“Knocked into you? Spock, take off your coat.”

He complied and Jim tossed it aside, now feeling Spock over, lifting up his sweater.

“What are you doing?”

“Checking to see if she injected you with anything.” Jim looked grim and concerned.

“I do not believe she did. I think I would have felt it and it happened quite fast. I believe her intention was to take the patch, though I do not know why.”

Jim kept inspecting him. “I don’t see any marks. How do you feel?”

“I feel fine.”

“Not woozy or dizzy or anything?”’

“Negative.”

“Maybe I should get Bones to check you over.”

“Jim.” Spock took Jim’s hands. “I do not think she harmed me.”

“All right, okay.”

“Riley really has you concerned. I was unaware you were friends.”

“I wasn’t really. But Spock, I saw Kodos, and even spoke to him. I might not recognize his face, but that voice…” Jim shivered. “It’s crazy, yeah, but I don’t believe in coincidences.”

“Nor do I,” Spock said, drawing Jim close once more. “But for now, you are safe. We both are.”

Chapter Text

“I think you should take off your clothes.”

Spock had a cup of tea halfway to his lips when Jim spoke out loud.

“I assure you, I am unharmed.”

Jim smiled. “I’m glad to hear that, believe me, and while it’s true I want to look at your naked body everywhere, it’s not just for marks she might have made. I’ve still been waiting to get you into bed, Spock. Now seems the perfect time.”

Spock put the teacup down and stared.

“Unless you want to talk about your dad more.”

Spock snorted. He had been unduly influenced by Jim, obviously. “I do not wish to speak one word more about my father.”

Jim’s smile widened and he grabbed Spock’s hand. “Tea and food later. Right now, I’m getting rather desperate to have you fuck me.”

“Do you have—”

“Yes. I have everything. But most importantly, I have you.”

Jim paused at the single bed and with a shake of his head, yanked off his shirt. Then he sat down on the edge and shimmied out of his very tight jeans. He had already been barefoot. He stood.

Spock’s mouth dropped open. Jim’s hard cock was visible, a drop of pre-cum already appearing on the tip.

What?”

“You went—"

“Commando.” Jim’s grin was wicked. “I sure did.” He turned around then to display his rounded naked ass cheeks to Spock’s hungry gaze.

Spock felt ridiculously aroused. He stopped staring and scrambled to remove his own now cumbersome clothing.

When he finally stood nude before Jim, Jim’s gaze raked over him, his tongue darting out to trace his lips.

“I still can’t get over how gorgeous you are. I can’t wait for you to be inside me.”

Spock suddenly found he felt the same. They had done other things, obviously, but not this. Something had always stood in the way.

He approached the bed. Jim was stretched out on the small bed, on his back, legs spread wide and bottom raised slightly with a pillow he had perched beneath him. He had set a bottle of lubricant directly beside him.

Spock knelt on the bed, picked up the bottle, and leaned down to capture Jim’s lips with his own. For several long moments they spent time relearning each other’s mouths, kissing desperately, tongues tangling, teeth clanking a bit. He wanted to go slow, maybe, but Jim was commanding otherwise, his kisses becoming increasingly aggressive and demanding. He decided he didn’t mind.

He moved his mouth down to Jim’s throat feasting there for a time as he haphazardly squeezed out lube from the bottle to wet his fingers.

Jim reached for the bottle then, tugging it out of Spock’s hands and oozing out some on his own. Pulling Spock back to kissing his lips, Jim dipped his fingers between their bodies and into his own opening. After a moment, Spock could not stand it, and he pulled back to watch Jim fingering himself.

His mouth dry, Spock watched…fascinated…as Jim’s lubricated fingers thrust in and out of himself, Jim moaning low while he did so.

After some time watching this display, Spock shook himself and slathered his throbbing shaft with the slick substance while Jim smiled at him approvingly.

Spock moved between Jim’s thighs as he batted Jim’s fingers away from his hole. He lifted first the right leg and then the left, angling Jim up further on the pillow and toward the top of the bed.

Out came that teasing tongue again. “Do it, I’m ready,” Jim rasped.

Spock pushed in, making it past the tight ring of muscle at Jim’s entrance. His lover stiffened beneath him, and Spock quickly looked for any signs of pain. Jim shook his head and urged him on.

Gripping Jim’s thighs, Spock thrust in deeper, though still not fully embedding himself within the Human. Jim’s muscles gripped Spock’s cock tight, squeezing him, and Spock closed his eyes and thought of an old enemy, Stonn, to keep from coming too fast. It worked too and Spock’s frayed and urgent lust calmed.

 “More,” Jim gasped.

Spock obliged, bottoming out inside Jim, testicles resting against Jim as Spock caught his breath. The he began to move, pulling out to push back in, over and over.

Jim clung on to him, clutching his legs wrapped around Spock as Spock drove into him.

Between them, Jim had slipped a hand to his own erection and he stroked himself, thumb swiping over the tip. Jim’s throaty moans drove Spock mad, so he increased his thrusts, until he was sure their frantic pace would collapse the flimsy bed upon which they coupled.

Jim’s hoarse cry, “Spock” as he came was enough to encourage Spock’s orgasm, and with a shout that ripped his throat raw, Spock came inside his lover.

****

“We’re so doing that again,” Jim said jovially. He had pulled on only a bathrobe and had given Spock a spare robe to wear himself as they cuddled together next to the kitchen sink in the dorm room’s kitchenette.

Spock had a newly hot tea which went a long way to soothing his pained throat. Jim had made himself a coffee and was in the process of cooking omelets in a frying pan. He was making Spock’s with a vegan version of eggs that was plant based. Spock had been touched that Jim had acquired something like that for him.

“Agreed,” Spock murmured. “But I suggest an extended rest period.”

“Wore you out, did I?”

“Somewhat,” Spock acknowledged. “But I am willing to be worn out again after rest and nourishment.”

Jim laughed. His PADD made a beeping noise, so he put the spatula down and went to fetch it.

“A message from Bones. He’s been bugging me to bring you for dinner to Christine’s. Remember I mentioned it?”

“I do, yes.”

Jim’s gaze scanned over the message. He looked up at Spock. “Tomorrow night all right?”

“I am available.”

Jim smiled. “Me too.” He messaged Bones back and received an immediate reply. “Okay we’re on. I guess Christine has someone she just met she’s asking, too. Someone she met in nursing.”

“Oh?”

“Mm hmm.”

“A female?”

Jim laughed. “Yeah, why?”

“She does know that you are taken right?”

“Yes, Spock.”

“By me.”

Jim kissed him. “By you.” His PADD beeped. He shrugged. “Someone named Lenore. Says she wants to meet us.”

“She desires to meet both of us?”

Jim shrugged. “Guess so. Bones probably talks about us. We’re a curiosity. Anyway, if she’s a friend of Christine’s she’ll be fine.”

Spock nodded and turned to helping Jim finish preparing their omelets. He did not wish to be jealous, but he couldn’t shake an uneasy feeling that had come over him.    

Chapter Text

“You’re early.”

Jim laughed. “You complaining?” he asked Bones as he hugged his friend just inside Christine’s apartment.

“No, just surprised.”

“My boyfriend is Spock. It’s sacrilege to be late.”

“Well, that’s a plus in his favor."

"Anyone else here yet?”

“Mm. Not yet. Lenore’s bringing a date with her. I don’t know who, she didn’t say.”

Behind Jim, Spock said, “Oh, so she has a significant other.”

Jim grinned at him.

Bones frowned. “I dunno, why?”

“Spock was convinced Christine was trying to set me up with Lenore and he was jealous.”

“No, she knows you’re with the hob…er. Spock. Hello, Spock. Nice to have you.”

Spock stared at Bones blankly. “I am pleased to be here with Jim.”

Which Jim knew was Spock’s total way of not lying. He was clever, Jim’s Vulcan.

“Come further in and we’ll get you some drinks. Chrissy is in the kitchen. What’s your poison?” Bones asked looking at Spock.

“I do not drink poison.”

Jim laughed again. “He likes tea, if you have it.”

“It’s a full service place, of course I have it.” And this was from Christine Chapel herself who had come out of the kitchen looking pretty as can be. She had on a pink sheath dress with an apron over that. She came to Jim and kissed his cheek. “Bout time you came with Spock. I’ve been asking and asking.”

“We’ve been…occupied. Spock, this is Chris, Chris this is Spock.”

“Hi Spock, I’m so glad to finally meet the guy who has Jim wrapped around his finger.”

“I do not have…”

Jim elbowed him gently.

“It is a pleasure,” Spock said politely.

“Lenore should be here any moment. I can’t wait to meet who she’s bringing.”

“So, Spock thought maybe you wanted me and Lenore to hook up. Oof.”

Spock elbowed him, not gently.

Chris grinned. “I can’t deny I had thought about it at one time. She’s a beautiful, sweet girl, and very smart. Talented too. She’s into theater. I did think you two would hit it off with your flair for drama.”

“My flair for drama?” Jim touched his chest. “You wound me.”

Exactly.” She smirked. “Then Leonard told me about Spock, so I knew that was out of the question.”

“Indeed,” Spock murmured.

“Beer, Jim?” Bones asked.

“That would be great, thanks.”

The doorbell rang.

“That will be her. I’ll be right back.” And Christine scurried to the front door.

Bones handed Spock a mug of tea and then Jim a bottle of beer.

“What’s on the menu?”

“A salad and vegetarian sheet pan fajitas.”

“Christine was not required to make the entire meal vegetarian for me,” Spock said.

Bones nodded. “As it turns our Lenore is also a vegetarian, so Chrissy figured it would just be easier.”

“And here we are,” Christine announced coming toward them.

Jim turned, a smile on his face to greet Christine’s friend.

“This is Lenore Karidian. My friend from nursing school. This is my boyfriend, Leonard McCoy, and our friend Jim Kirk, and his boyfriend, Spock.”

Lenore Karidian was a stunning woman with long golden hair about halfway down her back. She had violet colored eyes and a ready, gracious smile. She would have been exactly the sort of woman Jim was interested in except for Spock.

Jim took her hand in his and shook it gently in greeting. “Hello, it’s nice to meet you, Lenore.”

“And you too, Jim. You’re practically famous.” She smiled prettily. Then she glanced at Spock. “How do you do, Spock.”

“Ms. Karidian.”

“Oh, you must call me Lenore. What’s that you’re drinking, Jim?”

“A beer.”

“Can I get one of those too, Chrissy?”

“Of course.”

Jim noticed she was alone. “Didn’t Bones say you were coming with someone?”

Lenore looked puzzled. “Bones?”

“Oh, right.” Jim laughed. “That’s what I call Leonard. Long story.”

“You’re just too cute,” she replied.

Jim noticed Spock stiffen next to him.

“Yes, my friend is coming. He just hasn’t arrive yet. I don’t know what’s keeping him. The truth is I’ve only recently met him, but he’s such a nice man.”

Christine handed Jim the beer as he was standing closest to Lenore, so he handed it to her, twisting off the bottle cap for her as he did so.

 “Thank you.” Her lips curved and she eyed him under her lashes.

“You seem somewhat familiar, Ms. Karidian. Have we met before?” Spock’s tone was just shy of rude which had Jim glancing at him in surprise. Hell, he knew Spock could be that way from firsthand experience, but still…

Lenore turned toward him, seeming unfazed. “Oh, I don’t believe so, Spock. I don’t believe we generally keep the same company.” Then she smiled at Jim again. “Perhaps until now that is.”

There was another knock on the door.

“Oh.” Lenore brightened. “Here’s Kevin now.”

Startled, Jim asked, “Kevin?”

“Yes, Kevin Riley is the young man I met. As a matter of fact, I believe he said he knows you too. Small world, yes?”

She moved away to the door and Jim frowned, glancing at Spock, who shrugged.

From Jim’s last experience with Kevin, he hadn’t seemed right enough to be dating a girl. He’d been so paranoid. Was this a sign Kevin was getting better?

Lenore returned, holding Kevin Riley’s arm.

“Here he is. This is Kevin.”

Kevin Riley looked blank. Devoid of any emotion whatsoever. His eyes were vacant and a little unfocused.

“Hello, nice to meet you,” he said, hollowly.

Frankly, it was strange, and Jim vowed then as soon as he could get Kevin away from the rest of the group, he would question him.

Lenore was smiling as she pulled Kevin forward. “Let’s get you a drink.”

Jim exchanged a look with Spock, then followed everyone to the dining room.

Chapter Text

“Perhaps I should question Riley.”

Spock had taken Jim aside after dinner. Bones was in the kitchen with Christine and the others as they were preparing coffee, tea, and dessert.

Jim gave Spock a look. “And that is exactly the reason I should.”

Spock frowned. “I do not understand.”

“Did you know Kevin Riley from Tarsus?”

“No. He was several years below my grade in school.”

Jim patted his arm. “Exactly, babe. He needs someone who calls him Kevin and who is at least a little familiar with him. He came to me out of fear. No offense, babe, but you tend to intimidate a lot of people and I’m betting he’d be one of them.”

Spock arched a brow. “I am not supposed to be offended when you tell me I scare others?”

He smiled. “Not scare, exactly. Just…intimidate. The point is, leave Kevin to me.”

“Very well.”

Jim squeezed Spock’s arm and walked over to where Kevin now stood. He was gazing at a series of artful holo pictures framed and put on the wall of Christine’s apartment.

“Hi Kevin.”

Kevin glanced at him. His eyes still looked sort of foggy but he looked more alert than when he’d first arrived.

“Hello.”

“How are you feeling?” Jim asked.

“Fine. I’m feeling fine.”

“That’s good. Have you known Lenore for long?”

Kevin shook his head. “Not really. We met at a party. We hit it off. We have been seeing each other since.”

It sounded weird and disjointed and definitely rehearsed.

“That’s nice.” Jim tried for neutral because Kevin looked at him suspiciously now. “She’s very pretty and you guys make a cute couple.”

Kevin nodded and glanced across the room to where Spock stood talking to Bones.

“You two don’t suit at all,” Kevin said.

“What?”

“You and the Vulcan. You should be careful, Jim. Everyone knows they don’t make good partners.”

Jim didn’t want to be irritated, but he was.

“The Vulcan’s name is Spock. And we’re just great together. I have no issues with his ability to be a good partner.”

“Of course,” Kevin murmured. “If you say so.”

Rather than get defensive on Spock’s behalf, Jim decided to change the subject.

“About what you came to me for.”

Kevin frowned, looking troubled, but he did not reply.

“Being afraid for those who saw Kodos.”

Suddenly two hands touched his back and Jim smelled a hint of violet scented perfume.

“Oh, isn’t this cozy?” Lenore asked, smiling brightly. She was so close to Jim’s face; it was like she had spoken directly into his ear.

“Lenore.”

She gave him a pretty smile, then turned to Kevin. “Don’t you have to leave, Kevin?”

“Yes,” Kevin agreed. “That’s right. I have somewhere else to be.”

Lenore leaned in close to Kevin, whispered something in his ear, and then kissed him. “I will see you later, Kevin. I’m going to stay just a bit longer to get to know Jim.”

“Goodnight then.”

And before Jim could learn anything or stop him, Kevin left, even without saying goodbye to anyone else.

Lenore looked at Jim and shook her head. “He really is a strange boy. I’ll have to talk to him about saying goodbye and thank you to his hosts. Leonard and Christine put on such a lovely dinner. Don’t you agree, Jim?”

“Sure. Yes, they did. Where’d you and Kevin meet again?”

“Didn’t he tell you? A party we both attended. Given by mutual friends.”

“He just doesn’t seem the party type from what I know.” Jim smiled and shrugged. “So I wondered.”

“You’re absolutely right. He was so shy at that party, like a wallflower, I just couldn’t resist speaking with him.” She put her hand on Jim’s arm. “But you aren’t shy, are you?”

“I’m not shy.”

“You know, I’m with a performing group.”

“Performing group?”

“Actors. A theater. My father is a renowned actor, Jim. Perhaps you’ve even heard of him. Anton Karidian.”

Jim shook his head. “I’m afraid not. But I admit I’m not really up on that sort of thing.”

“That’s perfectly fine. I just wondered if you’d like to come to a performance. We do mostly Shakespeare. We’re beginning Hamlet next weekend. I’d love for you to be there.”

“I would be quite interested in viewing such a performance,” Spock said coming up to them. Somehow, he moved Jim just enough so that her hand slipped from his arm. “Assuming I am permitted to accompany Jim.”

Lenore’s smile didn’t slip. “Why of course, Spock. I would have expected you to be by his side. I’ll relay the information to you later in the week. If you will excuse me, I see Christine is trying to get my attention.”

“Of course.”

Spock watched her move away before turning to Jim. “She clearly wants you.”

Jim laughed. “Yeah right. Are you jealous?”

“I cannot totally deny that I feel a pang of it. She is a beautiful woman with a wandering eye. However, I am secure in the knowledge that you are mine.”

“I certainly am,” Jim agreed. “I didn’t get much out of Kevin. She walked up just when I was trying to ask him about Kodos and Tarsus. I’ll have to try again. No doubt about it, something’s up with him. He also threw some shade at your character.”

“Mine?”

“Yes. Claimed you and I were not a good match and that everyone knew Vulcans don’t make good partners.”

Spock’s eyebrow shot up. “Fascinating.”

“Right. Something strange is going on, Spock. I feel it.”

“I agree. And there’s something off about Lenore Karidian,” Spock mused.

“Is that just because she wants me?” Jim teased.

Spock scoffed. “Hardly. I have been thinking about it all night, Jim.”

“What, Spock?”

“I am fairly certain she is the blonde woman who bumped into me that day when I was on my way to see you.” 

 

Chapter Text

Spock woke to the loud squeals of an alarm.

Not the sort designed to wake you before class, but a squealing sort of red alert kind. A blaring siren.

It reminded him of the alarms that had sounded on Tarsus IV prior to their evacuation by Captain April.

Beside him in bed, Jim shot up, hands outstretched, grabbing for Spock.

“What? What’s that?”

“I do not know.” Spock rose from the bed, reaching for his clothes, and Jim did the same.

“Are we under attack?”

Spock shook his head, because again he didn’t know. 

They both reached the door of Spock’s dorm at the same time, perhaps Jim a second sooner. And Spock did not know why, but he pushed Jim behind him, opening the door himself to look out.

Cadets were running past them and out of the dorm building.

Spock stopped the one nearest them. “What is happening?”

“Dorm Building Two is on fire!”

Jim gasped behind him. “Spock, that’s where my dorm is.”

Spock knew that well. “Let us be careful.”

But they departed Spock’s dorm and he locked it before proceeding.

Jim scrambled to grab hold of Spock’s arm and Spock let him. He knew Jim was confused and distraught.

Though Spock smelled smoke as they left his building and headed across the campus toward Jim’s, he spotted no flames.

It was Jim this time who called to someone he knew. “Jenkins, what’s going on?”

“Wow, Kirk. It’s you,” Jenkins exclaimed.

Jim frowned. “Huh?”

“The fire’s out now,” Jenkins said. “It was contained to just a few of the dorm rooms and most of the damage was done to one in particular..” .He glanced at Spock and then back to Jim. “It was your dorm, Kirk.”

****

 

“As I said, Captain, Cadet Kirk stayed with me last night. He never left my sight. First we had dinner with Leonard McCoy and Christine Chapel and then we retired to my dorm in building three.”

Pike nodded and made a notation on his PADD.

Jim sat silent next to Spock, who had basically taken control of the questioning the Academy had for them. Spock was a little concerned as Jim looked more than a little haunted. It was not like him to be so quiet.

“And you did not stop there after dinner and before going to your dorm?”

“No.”

“The authorities say the fire was started deliberately by someone who gained access to Jim’s dorm room at 1:09AM. Whoever it was somehow knew Jim’s code on the first try. They apparently exited at 1:14AM.”

“And Jim was asleep beside me at that time, sir.”

“Jim, did you give your access code to anyone?” Pike asked.

“Spock and Bones,” Jim said, softly. “That’s all.”

“That would be Leonard McCoy?”

Jim nodded.

“Fortunately, there was no loss of life.” Pike sighed. “The investigation will continue, they’ll look at security footage, that kind of thing.”

“Were they trying to kill me, Captain?” Jim asked.

“I would guess that might have been the motive. But if they entered your dorm, they likely discovered you weren’t there and set fire to your room anyway. Until we catch the culprit and are able to question them, we won’t know anything for sure.” Pike looked at his PADD. “Can you continue to stay with Spock? Looks like you guys are on a waiting list for a larger dorm to share but with the fire, there are some displaced cadets who will take precedence.”

“Of course.” Spock glanced at Jim. “I am actually making arrangements for us to move off campus to an apartment, if that is permissible.”

Pike nodded. “Definitely. That’s actually a good idea. Where?”

“My mother owns an apartment in San Francisco which she acquired after separating from my father some years back. She has offered us its use. It is on the East side near to the park. It will require a little more travel time for us to make our courses, but it should be large and comfortable for our needs. And it is a secure building.”

“Good. For now I’d keep its address and location from all but a very few close friends. Just until we get a better idea what we are dealing with.”

“Agreed.”

Pike studied Jim. “Are you all right, son?”

“Yes, Captain. Just a bit dazed. I’m sorry I’m not much help at the moment. I think I’m a little in shock.”

“Understandable. I’ve spoken to your instructors, both of you, and I’ve arranged for you to be off of your courses for the remainder of this week. You will have online work to do, but that can be done from your apartment.”

“Thanks, Captain.”

Spock and Jim rose from their seats in front of Pike’s desk.

“Any ideas who this might have been, Jim?”

Jim hesitated. “I don’t…I really don’t want to accuse anyone without evidence, sir.”

“But you do have your ideas.”

Jim nodded. “And they could be way off base. I really don’t want to see Starfleet Security personnel charging in to harass anyone. Especially if I’m way off base, sir.”

Pike rose too and smiled slightly as he walked Spock and Jim to the door. “We are capable of being discreet when necessary, Jim.”

“Let me think about it and get back to you later. Okay?”

“Sure. Just don’t wait on the information for too long.”

When they were outside Pike’s office, Jim turned to Spock.

“Your mom’s letting us stay at her apartment?”

“Yes. The only caveat is that she is currently in residence there herself, so we will have to share it with her. But there is a private bedroom and bathroom there for our use.”

“Good. Thanks. I don’t mind staying with your mom.” He blew out a long breath. “This is so crazy.”

“Agreed. I assume your suspicions align with mine?”

“Lenore. I just…I don’t get why. But I can’t shake the feeling she’s behind it.”

“I feel the same. Come. Let’s prepare to move off campus. Your things were lost in the fire. We need to take care of replacing those items, too.”

Jim bit his lip.

“I am glad you are safe, Jim. And it is my intention to see that you stay that way.”

Chapter Text

Jim was putting some clothes away in the dresser of the room he and Spock were to share in Spock’s mother’s apartment when Spock received a communication from Captain Pike.

Spock went outside onto the balcony off the living room to speak with Pike privately.

Part of him wanted to listen in to hear what was being said but Jim was still a little shell-shocked and he knew Spock would tell him everything.

“How’s everything going?”

Jim turned to greet Spock’s mother as he closed a dresser drawer. She stood in the doorway of the bedroom.

“I think I’ve got all our stuff unpacked and put away.” Jim had also chosen drawers for Spock’s foldable clothes and hung up his uniforms and such in the closet.

She smiled gently. “You still look a little pale. I’ve got some tea and cookies made if you’d like some.”

“Cookies.” He shook his head wistfully. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had homemade cookies.”

“Then it’s past time.” She came forward and linked her arm in his and led him from the room.

“I was surprised when Spock said you were living in this apartment,” Jim said. “I’d thought he told me something about the Imperial Hotel.”

“I was for a time, but when it became clear I was going to be staying in San Francisco for the foreseeable future I decided to open up this apartment for occupation again. I have to admit a great deal of that was wanting to be close to my son and his new boyfriend.” She settled him into a seat at the dining room table. “It’s unfortunate the circumstances that lead to you two living here with me, but I am pleased to have you here safe.”

She brought over a teapot shaped like a duck and three cups, Jim guessed for Spock to join them later. She then brought over two plates of cookies.

“This one contains peanut butter chocolate chip cookies. And the other are vegan chip cookies made with carob for Spock.”

Jim grabbed one of the peanut butter ones as she poured them both tea.

“Who was the last one who made you homemade cookies? Your mama?”

“No, ma’am. The mother of the family I stayed with on Tarsus. Mom never did like to bake. She always bought store-made products. But Mrs. Wilkerson used to make these lemon iced sugar cookies.” Jim smiled slightly. “They were good.”

“And what happened to Mrs. Wilkerson?”

“The entire family was killed by Kodos’ men.”

“I’m very sorry, Jim, to bring up painful memories.”

He shrugged. “The further I get away from them the less painful they are. And meeting Spock and starting a life with him helps a lot. But it sucks that all this stuff from Tarsus is coming up again. I thought all that was behind me.”

“Yes, it’s concerning. I’m worried for you and Spock. I’m glad you’ll be allowed to do your classes from here for a few days anyway.”

Jim decided to change the subject. He could still see Spock pacing back and forth on the balcony outside.

“Can I ask you something? If it’s too nosey, it’s okay to tell me.”

Spock’s mother laughed. “You can ask me anything, Jim.”

“Didn’t you have a male friend? Wasn’t that why you came here to meet with him?”

“Yes. He’s returned to Toronto where he lives. He was here on business and when that was over, he went home. I decided to stay here as I said. Truly coming here with Bernard was an excuse to see Spock. Bernard’s a lovely man, but in all honesty I’m not looking for a long-term relationship with anyone again.”

“Ever?”

“Well I don’t like to speak in absolutes, of course. But I have been enjoying my independence since my separation from Sarek.”

Jim bit into his second cookie. “Um, I’m sorry about all that. Spock said he’s, well, he’s…”

Amanda waved her hand. “I know he’s mated with someone else if that’s what you’re trying to say, Jim. Sarek had our bond severed some time ago when it became clear to him I wasn’t going back to Vulcan to live with him. Some marriages, some relationships simply don’t work. In many ways Sarek was abusive. Not physically, I don’t mean that. But he was very controlling and very cold at times. I couldn’t accept either. I care about him still and I always will, but if he can find happiness with another, then I am glad.”

“It still sucks though.”

She laughed. “It does. Most especially for Spock. He doesn’t quite understand, I think. And he feels like Sarek doesn’t care about him as much as he should due to him being half Human.”

“If that is true, then Sarek is an asshole.”

“You are adorable, Jim, and just what Spock needs in a mate. You needn’t worry that Spock will be like Sarek. He’s not.”

Jim nodded. “I know he isn’t. He’s the farthest thing from being cold to me. I know he wants to be, I don’t know, more Vulcan though.”

“Yes. That comes from Sarek and all the rest. But what I do know is Spock is perfect whatever he chooses to be for himself.”

The door opened from the balcony and Spock stepped inside. He had already shoved his communicator in a pocket.

“I apologize for the length of time that conversation took place. It was longer than I had anticipated.”

“Come have tea and cookies with us.”

Spock angled his head and approached the dining room table. “You have finished putting away our belongings?”

Jim smiled. “Yep.”

Spock touched his fingers quickly to Jim’s and then sat beside him as his mother passed him a cup of tea as well as the crab chip cookies.

“What did Pike have to say?” Jim asked.

“He did not have good news. The security footage was not helpful.”

He frowned. “Meaning?”

“Someone erased it.”

What?”

“There are no images of the person who entered your dorm room and set fire to it. Captain Pike is having that looked into, how that could have been allowed to happen, but he is not hopeful that it will lead to any useful information.”

“Damn,” Jim said under his breath. “She’s good.”

“Apparently. I have associates of mine looking at other angles as well, but for now we will have to wait. Fortunately, in the meantime, we can stay here. Our time working remotely on our courses has been extended for an additional week.”

“Okay.” Jim nodded. He still held the remains of a cookie but he no longer really had a taste for it.   

Chapter Text

“Would you like to play chess?”

“Or we could watch paint dry.”

Spock arched a brow. He stood behind Jim, who stood at the window of his mother’s apartment looking out at the more mist than rain. 

It was true that they had been, as Jim had said earlier, “cooped up” in the apartment for a couple of days but Spock had not considered it that dismal.

“You do not care for chess?”

“It’s not that…exactly. I’m…”

“Tired of staying inside. You feel trapped.”

Jim sighed and turned toward him, close enough so that Spock pulled him into his arms.

“It will not be forever, Jim.”

“It’s already forever,” Jim said petulantly.   

Spock understood that Jim did not like to be kept under lock and key.

“I’m sorry. I know I’m being…bratty, I guess.”

“Perhaps Mother and I can go and pick out a special dinner you might like to have.”

Jim pulled out of Spock’s arms to glare at him. “You get to leave but not me?”

“It is too dangerous. We do not know who is responsible for the fire in your dorm and with only suspicions—”

“If this is somehow related to Tarsus as we think it might be then you are in just as much danger as I am. If Lenore is involved, Spock, don’t forget she made contact with you when she ran into you on your way to my dorm room.”

“If that was her.”

“It was. I know it. She’s…got some involvement in this. With Kevin, with Tarsus. I don’t know why or how. I don’t remember her from there.”

“Nor do I. But…I acknowledge if it does involve her and Tarsus, I could be in danger also. But—”

“If you’re about to tell me you’re better at taking care of yourself than I am myself just stop right there. I don’t want to hear it.”

They were both interrupted by a heavy feminine sigh. They turned to see Spock’s mother staring nearby looking at them with gentle bemusement.

“If I may make a suggestion?”

“Sure,” Jim said.

“We order for dinner to be delivered and we play a game the three of us can play together, such as, Trivial Pursuit. I know it’s a bit old fashioned but I have the Federation Planet version right here that we can play.”

For a moment, Spock feared Jim was going to refuse, for his stance beside Spock was still rigid.

“Is there any wine?” Jim asked.

Mother smiled. “Yes there’s a red blend just waiting for the two of us to drink it. And if I do say myself, I am a killer at Trivial Pursuit.”

Jim blew out a long breath, then nodded. “Okay, yeah. That sounds pretty good.”

“Excellent. With that misty rain none of us really wants to go out anyway. I suggest tomorrow, during the day, we all go out for lunch together and then a bit of shopping for anything else we might want, like more wine.” She winked at Jim.

He laughed and Spock welcomed the sound. Spock didn’t know how she did it, but his mother seemed to understand Jim and his moods very well. Perhaps it was that they were fully Human, both of them, Spock was not sure, but he welcomed it.

A while later, the three of them sat at the dining room table of her apartment with the game set up between them as they awaited the arrival of their dinner.

Jim and his mother each had a glass of wine beside them. Spock had been certain he would be ahead in the game, but to his surprise, Jim was creaming them both.

Naturally, Jim’s mood was much improved. He smiled as he sipped his wine and seemed to like to lord his knowledge over both of them. Spock did not mind. He far preferred this Jim to the antsy, glum one of an hour ago.

The doorbell rang and since it was not Jim’s turn, he declared, “I’ll get it. That’s our food.”

He rose from the chair and went to the apartment door as Mother took her turn on the board. When she landed, Spock read her a question which awarded her a wedge.

“I’ve almost caught up to Jim,” Mother declared. “Your turn, Spock.”

Spock frowned. “I wonder what is keeping Jim.”

Mother’s eyes widened and she put her hand on Spock’s arm. “Oh no.”

They both scrambled from their chairs and hurried to the door of her apartment. Food containers were dropped and open all over the front hallway and lying beside them pale and bloody was Jim.

Heart rising into his mouth, Spock hurried to Jim’s side. He felt for a pulse as Mother contacted emergency services.

“There is a pulse,” Spock whispered. “But faint.”

“They’re on their way, Spock,”

Spock nodded. However long they took, it might be too late.

Chapter Text

They wouldn’t let him in the emergency room where they treated Jim. They were making him wait outside the double doors, closed to him, and it took all of his strength and training not to burst through them and demand to stand over his T’hy’la.

“Spock.” Mother’s hand touched his shoulder gently. “It will do you no good to pace. Sit down with me. You’re depleting your energy.”

“If-if he does not make it then I will not be able to—”

“Don’t even think about finishing that sentence or that thought,” Mother said firmly. “And he’s going to make it, my son. We got him here on time.”

Spock wasn’t sure he believed that. Wasn’t sure he believed anything. How had he allowed this to happen? He’d been protecting Jim. Set him up at his mother’s apartment where Lenore and her cohorts could not reach him.

Or so Spock thought.

He’d been so wrong.

Mother tugged him toward a set of plastic chairs that were connected together by a metal rod. She pulled him down beside her.

“He’ll need you to be strong, Spock. If you run yourself down, then who will watch over him?”

Spock folded his hands in his lap and stared down at them. His ears burned with the shame he felt. He was not worthy of having Jim as his mate. He was an absolute failure.

“I’m going to get you some tea from that machine down there. Please don’t move.”

Spock did not know where he would go. He had to sit vigil here until they came and told him about Jim.

He felt Mother get up and leave him there. He swallowed heavily against the painful lump in his throat.

Ten minutes earlier, Jim’s friend, Leonard McCoy had arrived, looking pale and worn. He’d been allowed to go inside the emergency room area as he was medical personnel. Spock was torn between resentment that McCoy got to be with Jim and relief that someone who cared about Jim would be there with him when Spock was unable.

“Here you go, Sweetheart. Drink this.”

He took the paper cup from her hands, his numb fingers closing around it.

“Drink,” she said again.

He obeyed her automatically, taking a sip of the mostly tasteless, tepid tea.

“It should have been me.”

“Spock?”

He knew when he gazed at her, knew by her stricken expression that she thought he meant him being tended to in that emergency room nearby. And perhaps he should have been, at the mercy of physicians who might not even know how to treat injured Vulcans.

But in that instance he did not mean that.

“That went to the door for the food. Why did I permit him to go?”

She shook her head. “We are both at fault for that. None of us gave it a second thought.”

“I should have. I knew he was in danger.”

“The only one responsible for Jim’s injuries is the attacker himself.”

“Or herself.”

“Yes,” she agreed.

If he lived a hundred more years he would never get over the sight of Jim lying on the floor, bleeding from multiple stab wounds. Even now he trembled.

“Take another sip,” she told him gently.

The doors made a clicking noise just before they began to swing open and Spock pressed the paper cup into his mother’s hands as he rose.

Leonard McCoy came out. He wore scrubs and a cloth cap upon his head. Across the front of the shirt of his scrubs were smears of blood.

Jim’s blood.

Spock felt faint. And never as helpless as he felt in that moment. He couldn’t even find words to ask.

“He’s stable,” McCoy said. Then he let out a long exhale. “He’s going to be all right, Spock.”

Spock blinked rapidly and nearly sank to his knees. He would have had not McCoy moved toward him and held him up.

“Take it easy. I don’t need two patients.”

“I am all right,” Spock insisted. “Just adrenaline.”

He nodded. “We’ve stitched him up. Given him some drugs for the pain. He’s a bit weak from blood loss but we did a transfusion, so he’s already showing a lot of improvement. He’s conscious and asking for you.”

“I can go in?”

“Yes for a few minutes. He’ll be moved to the ICU in about half an hour and he’ll spend the night there. If he’s still improving after that we’ll get him to a regular room.”

“Will I…I would like be able to stay by his bedside during the night if it is permissible.”

McCoy gave him a piercing look. “I’ll see what I can do. Try not to get him worked up in there. We just got his vitals under control. So be brief.”

Spock nodded, glanced at Mother, who gave him an encouraging smile, and then followed McCoy in through the double doors and to a hospital bed far in the back.

Jim was hooked up to many monitors that beeped rather loudly. He was lying flat when Spock approached but his blue eyes were wide open in his very white face.

“Hi.” He gifted Spock with a tiny smile and lifted his hand for Spock to take, which he did immediately.

“Jim, I—”

“Sorry I ruined dinner. I was hungry too.”

“I…” He glanced to McCoy, who narrowed his eyes. “I am quite certain that they will feed you here in just a short while.”

“Yeah. But not biscuits and gravy.”

He wanted to ask Jim who had done this, how he was attacked, but he was mindful of McCoy keeping watch, telling him not to get Jim excited, and yes, Spock would agree. It could wait. Anything could now that Jim was awake and talking and holding his hand.

“Likely not,” Spock agreed. “Rest now. They will be moving you soon and I will see you again when they have settled you where you are going for the night.”

Jim nodded, his own gaze moving to the doctor. “Yeah, Bones told me. He said you couldn’t have long. I just wanted to say I’m okay and I love you.”

Spock squeezed his hand. “I love you too, Jim.”

“All right,” McCoy said, gently moving Spock away. “Now that the mushy stuff is done, let’s get you out of here, Spock, and we’ll tend to the patient. Maybe you and your mom can go get something to eat in the cafeteria. I’ll page you in a bit.”

Spock agreed and exited the emergency room.

And when he stepped out he found that he almost fell into his mother’s embrace, and for a while he let her keep him there, no matter how emotional and illogical it was.

Chapter Text

Jim woke to the sight of Spock’s very pale face hovering over him. For a moment he couldn’t recall what had happened or where he was. But then he heard an overhead announcement paging medical personnel and he recalled.

He licked his dry lips and tried for a smile. “Morning. It is morning, right?”

“Yes, T’hy’la.”

“Thirsty.”

Spock, who had been clutching Jim’s hand, let go of him at once but returned a moment later with a cup of cool water. He helped Jim to sit up enough to drink it.

When he had his fill, Jim collapsed back on the bed, exhausted from even that action.

“How bad is it?”

“Terrible,” Spock whispered, but then reached for Jim’s hand. “But you will recover with no lingering issues. Jim, I—”

“Hey, it’s okay.”

“It is not. I have failed you.”

He shook his head. “No talking like that. We’re in this together. And I’m the dummy who just traipsed to that door like it was nothing.”

Spock lowered his head. “What happened? Do you recall?” Then his gaze rose to Jim’s face. “If it is all right to ask. I do not wish to cause you discomfort.”

“I’m already pretty uncomfortable. I’m still in some pain and I feel as weak as a baby.”

“I will summon a nurse to give you pain medication.” Spock pressed a button on the side of Jim’s bed.

“And they never fed me last night either. I’m still hungry.”

“I will see to that also. Do you recall?”

Jim slowly let out a breath. “Just…I went to the door for the food. I opened it and the person there handed me the food, I signed some PADD they gave me. And they turned to leave. I was looking through the bags and noticed one of the things we ordered was missing and I was about to call out to them when someone…” He stopped, shook his head.

“Jim?”

“I don’t really remember after that,” he admitted. “I think someone came at me from the side, not the food deliverer, but I can’t really remember for sure.”

Spock nodded. “We are already requesting CCT footage from Mother’s apartment building.”

A nurse, an older woman with her gray hair in a bun, approached Jim now. She smiled gently.

“Hello there, young man. It is nice to see you awake.”

Jim nodded.

“He is in pain.”

“Are you?”

“Yeah. And hungry.”

The nurse pushed a hypo into his arm and then patted the hand Spock wasn’t clutching. “That should help. Food is on the way with Doctor McCoy.” She glanced at Spock. “Can I get your something?”

“Tea if it is available.”

“Coming right up.”

Jim closed his eyes then and honestly didn’t know how long he kept them closed. He thought he might have fallen asleep.

He opened them again when he heard the low rumble of voices nearby.

“Bones?”

“Here, Jim.” Bones smiled down at Jim. “I understand you got some pain medication a short time ago. Has it helped?”

“Umm. Yeah.”

“I brought you some breakfast if you feel up to sitting and eating it.”

“I do.”

A moment later he felt his bed rise and he was looking at Bones and Spock. The room tilted a bit but seconds later it seemed to right itself.

“Woozy?”

“A bit.”

“You lost a lot of blood, so it’ll take some time.” Bones put a bowl of white fluffy stuff in front of him.

“That looks like cream of wheat not biscuits and gravy.”

“Right you are. Let’s see how you do with that before we give you a lot of solid foods.”

Spock came close. “Jim, if you do not mind, I need to leave for a couple of hours, but I will be back as soon as I can.”

“Of course, Spock.”

“With Doctor McCoy here—"

Jim smiled. “It’s fine, Spock. Do what you need to do. You can take as long as you need.”

Spock gave a little bow and then departed.

Bones watched him go. “He seems to care a lot about you, Jim.”

“Hmm. We’re Vulcan married or something. It’s all good.” Jim took a bite of the cream of wheat. “Give it to me straight.”

“You’re lucky to be alive. You were stabbed seven times. Lost a lot of blood and whoever attacked barely missed some pretty vital organs.”

Jim exhaled and nodded. “I can’t really remember much about the actual attack. Maybe some flashes. That’s it.”

“Your mind’s way of dealing with the trauma. There’s a security guard outside this room. Only medical personnel and Spock are allowed in. Pike’s pretty pissed and thinks there’s a mole in his office.”

“That’s how they knew where Spock and I were staying?”

“I guess so. You’ll be in here for another couple of nights while they work on getting you to a safe house.”

“It’s Kodos, I think. Something to do with our time on Tarsus IV.”

“And that’s another thing. Kevin Riley is missing.” Bones paused. “Do you think it was him?”

“That attacked me?” At Bones' nod, Jim shrugged. “Could have been. Could have been someone else. I…I don’t know.”

Bones squeezed his hand. “You finish that if you can and get some rest. I’ll be around. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Thanks, Bones.”

“No need to thank me. You just stay safe. I’ll be right back.”    

Jim tried to recall the flashes he’d seen in the hallway. Or even the face of the food delivery guy. But none of it would come back to him, and since it was making his head hurt, he gave up for now.

Chapter Text

When next Jim woke, Spock sat in a chair beside his hospital bed. Casually dressed in a black sweater and black trousers, Spock watched him, a PADD held in his hands.

“Hey,” Jim whispered hoarsely. His throat felt dry.

As though Spock could read his mind, and Jim guessed he maybe could, Spock rose, placing the PADD in the vacated chair, and poured a cup of water from the pitcher next to the bed. He helped Jim to sit up straight enough to drink from it.

“Thanks.” Jim smiled. “Can you raise the bed?”

Spock nodded and reached down to press the lever which bent and raised the bed so Jim was upright.

“How long was I sleeping, do you know?”

“A few hours. I have been back for two and you were already asleep.”

“Your mom came by. It was nice to see her.”

“She informed me. At first she was uncertain they would allow her entrance but Doctor McCoy authorized it.” Spock leaned over him to place a chaste kiss on Jim’s mouth. “How are you feeling?”

“Better. Ready to get out of here.”

“They intend to allow your release tomorrow,” Spock told him. “Under my care and supervision, staying at Captain Pike’s residence.”

Jim frowned. “Is that really necessary?”

“A precaution.”

“What aren’t you telling me, Spock?”

“They are analyzing the surveillance footage outside Mother’s apartment, but it appears to have been altered,” Spock explained. He returned to the chair, glancing at his PADD once more. “I have been viewing it as well. It does appear that the delivery person from the restaurant was incapacitated and replaced by Kevin Riley.”

“Riley?” Jim shook his head. “I don’t really remember much. But why him?”

“I do not know. But he did not act alone. Unfortunately the other individual is not visible clearly due to the alteration of the footage, but I suspect it may be Lenore.”

“But why?” Jim asked again.

Spock shook his head.

“So now I’m to be shut up at Pike’s home? You’ll be there, right?”

“I am not likely to allow you out of my sight.”

“If it has something to do with Tarsus as Riley implied, you may be in danger too.”

“I don’t seem to be any sort of target, but I am being cautious.” Spock set aside his PADD and stood once more. “Are you hungry? Do you wish sustenance?”

“I almost always wish for sustenance,” Jim said with a slight smile. “Did they pick up Riley?”

Spock pursed his lips. “Let me get you something to eat. I will return shortly.”

“Spock—”

“One moment.”

Spock left his hospital room and Jim turned his head to look out the window. He had to pee but with all the equipment hooked up to him, he was going to need assistance.  

Ten minutes later Spock returned with a plate of, to Jim’s surprised delight, biscuits and gravy.

“Oh my God. Where’d you get this?”

Spock’s lips twitched. “I have my sources.”

Jim forked a bite and groaned in ecstasy. “They’re so good.”

“I am glad you are pleased.”

“I am. But before I can eat more, Spock, I really really need to pee. Will you help me?”

“Of course. I am sorry, Jim, I should have thought you would require assistance.”

Spock helped Jim get somewhat disconnected, and then he moved the equipment with Jim to the little bathroom inside the hospital room.

When that was taken care of, Jim returned to the bed and his biscuits.

Spock watched him eat, all the while with his expression indulgent, for a Vulcan anyway, but Jim knew he was still holding something back from him.

He’d eaten every bite and Spock took away the plate before Spock sat on the edge of Jim’s bed and took Jim’s hands in his.

“As you have surmised, there is more to tell.”

Jim nodded, waiting. He didn’t want to give in to the anxiety now pooling in his full stomach.

“They have not taken Kevin Riley into custody.”

“Why not?”

“They discovered his body floating in the ocean off Pier 29,”
 Spock said softly.

Horror replaced the anxiety as Jim took this in. “His body?”

Spock nodded. “He had been…stabbed. It seems by the same instrument used during your attack.”

Jim blew out a slow breath. He didn’t know all that had happened to Kevin since their days at Tarsus, he had barely known him there, but whatever had happened to him since he’d made contact with Jim at the Academy, he felt as though Kevin had been a victim. Even if he had taken part in the attempt on Jim’s life.

“Kodos is dead, right?” Jim asked, his gaze rising to Spock’s face. “I mean they found his body. I know Kevin thought maybe he faked his death. He was talking a little crazy about the DNA not matching. But…if he was wrong, why all this?”

“I do not know, Jim. I do not have the answers…yet. I will get them.”

“Spock, I don’t want you putting yourself in any danger, you—”

“I will be careful. We both will.” 

Chapter Text

“I will carry you if it is required.”

Jim gave Spock a look that Spock would definitely call disgruntled. It was a look Jim was an expert at, that was for certain.

“I’m a grown man, Spock. I don’t need to be carried like a baby.”

“A grown man who was recently attacked and gravely injured.”

Spock hadn’t meant for his voice to quaver, to give away his concern in such a blatant emotional way.

Jim stepped close and put his hand on Spock’s jaw. “I’m okay.” He kissed Spock softly. “Hey. I’m okay.”

Spock forced himself to nod. “Still I will be relieved when we discover who was behind your attack and the murder of Riley.”

“But Lenore’s involvement doesn’t make any sense. What would she have to gain by eliminating me or Kevin?”

“I suggest we wait until we are safely housed at Captain Pike’s home before we discuss theories and evidence at length. I do not trust anywhere we could be overheard.”

“A hospital?”

“I won’t take any chances with your life, Jim.” Spock took Jim’s arm, receiving another Jim look while he was at it, and led him from the hospital room and into the corridor.

Spock raised his phaser.

“Is that really necessary?”

“Your safety is my priority. Should someone make an attempt on your life again, you will survive while they will not.”

Jim sighed, but nodded. “Okay.”

Spock knew Jim thought it was overkill but Jim couldn’t remember most of the circumstances of his own attack except that he woke in the hospital afterward. Spock remembered all too well the sight of his T’hy’la lying on the floor in a pool of his own blood. He would remember it for all his days, unfortunately.

But fortune was with them that day and they managed to leave the hospital without incident and make their way to the hover car waiting for them.

Once more Jim frowned when he saw the Starfleet guard in the driver’s seat as well as one in the front passenger seat.

His gaze meeting Spock’s, he raised both eyebrows. “Really??”

“They have been provided by Captain Pike,” Spock explained. He decided not to add at his own request.

Jim grunted, but got into the back seat of the hover car with Spock and it took off for Pike’s home. 

Pike himself greeted them when they arrived. He smiled warmly at Jim and even embraced him.

“It’s good to see you looking so well. You scared the hell out of all of us.”

“Probably myself too, sir. Thank you for letting us stay here.”

“My pleasure. I’ve got Spock’s mother staying here too.”

“Is she in danger?” Jim glanced at Spock.

Spock shook his head. “She is under no particular threat, but considering they were at her apartment and we don’t yet know any motives for sure, the captain and I felt caution should be followed.”

“And I have plenty of room. Come on, this way.”

As they followed after Pike, Spock began to feel Jim’s anxiety through their bond and was about to inquire after it when Jim spoke up himself.

“Spock and I have the same room, right?”

Pike smiled over his shoulder. “Of course, Jim.”

Jim visibly relaxed and Spock whispered to him, “I did say I would be close by your side.”

“I know, I just wanted to be sure.”

Once they got to the bedroom, which came equipped with a private bathroom, Spock noticed how exhausted Jim looked. Pike had invited them to share dinner in a few hours, so Spock decided to suggest Jim rest.

“I’m going to check on Mother,” Spock told him. “I will come back shortly to unpack and get us settled. In the meantime, I would be gratified if you would try to sleep. You are exhausted.”

“I’d argue with you but I’m way too tired.”

Jim half laughed, but Spock spotted the dark circles under Jim’s eyes and had to wonder if the doctors allowed him to be released too soon.

Spock was determined to find the culprit behind the attack himself so that Jim could be safe. This had been way too close.

Pike told Spock that his mother’s room was at the end of the hall on the right, so after making sure Jim really did lie down, Spock went down to check on her.

“Oh, Spock, there you are.” She smiled in greeting and stepped aside to let him in. “Where’s Jim?”

“I left him to sleep. He’s still quite weak and easily tired. I want to speak to Doctor McCoy to learn why they released him so soon.”

“Oh, I can’t imagine Jim’s friend would take any chances with his welfare. And I feel certain Jim will recover better with you by his side instead of in that hospital. This place is very secure and well-guarded.”

“Very well,” Spock conceded.

“You should advise your father that you are all right.”

“For what purpose?”

“I have my issues with Sarek but he is still your father. Even if the attacker was after Jim specifically, I think any one of us that answered that door would have been attacked. If Sarek hears about it from someone else, he will not be pleased.”

Spock exhaled and then nodded. “When I get a moment, I will do so.”

“Now return to Jim. I will see you for dinner.”

She kissed his cheek and Spock rolled his eyes a bit, but he was very glad she was safely there with him.

Jim was asleep when Spock returned, so Spock sat down and sent a message to Doctor McCoy, letting him know his concerns of course, but also that Jim was safe.

After that, Spock unpacked their belongings and honestly hoped this whole ordeal would be over soon.

Chapter Text

He spotted wild, untamed blonde hair just before the d’k tahg flew toward his mid-section. The blade of the Klingon dagger plunged deep just under his ribcage. His lung seemed to deflate and he collapsed to the floor as breath left him and blood oozed out from the surely fatal wound. His hand pressed to the wound, instantly covered in dark red blood. Lighter, thinner blood bubbled up from his mouth, trailing on to his chin.

He tried to call for Spock but no sound came from him. He felt the beat of his heart slow until—

“Jim!”

Jim gasped awake, eyes wide, breath heaving hard from his chest. He began to cough violently.

Vulcan arms held him tight as he continued to cough against Spock’s chest, trying to catch his breath. Spock rubbed his back with gentle circles, his hand resting on Jim’s face. Jim felt the gentle probe of Spock’s mind to his.

Breathe, T’hy’la.

And all at once air filled his lungs and his coughing eased as he clutched Spock. Tears sprung to his eyes and he hid his face.

“You are all right, Jim.”

He nodded. He waited for the memory of the horrible nightmare to end even as Spock held him tighter.

“Was it a d’k tahg that stabbed you?” Spock asked.

“I…yeah, I think so. But the-the dream was much worse.”

“It was bad enough,” Spock said, hoarsely. “But yes your dream was worse.”

Jim finally pulled back to look at Spock. “You saw it?”

“Yes, as I attempted to wake you our contact shared the dream with me.”

“So much for resting.” Jim ran his hand through his hair. “I don’t feel rested at all.”

“I can ensure you will not be disturbed by such nightmares when next you sleep, but unfortunately it is time to meet Mother and Captain Pike for dinner.”

“S’okay. I don’t even want to try to go back to sleep.” Jim didn’t move out of Spock’s embrace as he searched his gaze. “If that wasn’t a memory what was it?”

“I do not know but likely merely a twisting by your mind of the real attack.”

“So…not a vision?”

Jim realized he likely sounded like he’d lost his mind but it was a real concern for him just then. The dream too real. It felt like he’d felt those exact injuries.

Spock managed to look like he took Jim’s concern seriously.  “Have you ever had a vision before?”

“No,” he admitted. And for that he was glad. “It just…it felt so real.”

“I promise you that to get to you they’d have to go through me.”

Jim laughed hollowly. “Not sure that’s much comfort, Spock. I don’t want anyone attacking you with or without the goal to get to me.”

“Nor do I,” Spock agreed. “I believe we are as secure as we can be at this time until the culprit or culprits are found.”

“Okay.” Reluctantly, Jim pulled away. “I guess we need to go eat. I hope I can. My stomach is tied up in knots.”

He rose from the bed and Spock got up with him. Jim looked at himself in a mirror in the room and grimaced at his appearance. He looked as wrecked as he felt. His hair stood on end, his eyes appeared haunted, his face pale.

“I still question the wisdom of releasing you from the hospital.”

“I know, but I think I might be better off here.” Jim grabbed Spock’s hand. “Stay close though, okay?”

“I intend to.”

****

Pike waited until they’d finished their dinner of pasta and salad before turning the conversation to their situation.

“We located the individual in my office who was giving information out on your whereabouts Jim,” Pike told him. “We’re still interrogating him. Does the name Tim Loren ring any bells?”

Jim thought about it, then shook his head. “No.”

“What about you, Spock?”

Spock was quiet for a moment but then he said slowly, “I knew a Scott Timothy Loren during my time on Tarsus IV.”

“You did?” Jim asked.

“Affirmative. He was in my age group at the Preparatory School.  I was not friends with him. I just recall his name.”

Pike pulled out a PADD, pressed a few buttons, and then held it out to Spock. “That him?”

Spock stared at the picture for a long time prior to answering. He tilted his head back and forth, his brows furrowing. “I believe it could be. With your permission I may be able to bring up a likeness of Scott Timothy Loren from our Tarsus days.”

Pike nodded. “Do it.”

Spock's fingers moved rapidly across the PADD while Pike, Jim, and Amanda watched. Jim could see that Spock’s mom was very anxious but she was trying not to be. He covered her hand with his and squeezed. She gave him a grateful smile.

“There,” Spock announced.

Jim rose and leaned over him as Spock showed the picture to Pike. It was a side by side of the Tim Loren in Pike’s office and Scott Timothy Loren as a boy on Tarsus IV.

“That’s definitely the same guy,” Jim said softly. “I don’t remember him at all.”

“It is clear that whatever this is about, it concerns those of us on Tarsus IV.”

Jim nodded. “So Kevin was right. It has to have something to do with Kodos and those that actually saw him in person. I did. Kevin did. But you did not.”

Spock nodded. “And where does Lenore Karidian fit in?”

“I don’t know. But I’m pretty sure she’s the one who stabbed me. I saw her face.”

Chapter Text

“Do you need assistance falling asleep?” Spock asked Jim later as they got into bed.

Jim smiled. “What do you have in mind?”

“Likely not what you are implying.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, don’t worry. I’m not totally eager for a little slap and tickle with your mom down the hall and in Pike’s house.”

Spock’s brows furrowed but he did not ask for clarification. “I can help you sleep with a simple mind meld.”

“No, I think I’m good. My eyes were already closing when we were playing that trivia game with your mom, Pike, and Number One.” Jim yawned even as he pulled the covers up over him.

Spock got into bed beside him. “I hope your sleep is free of nightmares.”

“Thanks, babe. Me too.”

“Computer, lights off.”

When Jim woke in the morning, Spock was gone from their bed. Spock was not a late sleeper, Jim knew.

He rose and took a shower and got dressed, going out to the kitchen and dining room.

At the table there sat Amanda drinking tea and eating a croissant. She smiled warmly. “Good morning. I think there’s coffee there made in the pot.”

“Thanks.” Jim went into the kitchen, grabbed a mug, filled it with coffee and returned to sit with Amanda.

“You look much better. Getting a lot of your color back.”

“I feel better too. Just you and me in the house?”

“And a few security guards near the front doors. Chris and Una left this early  morning. Spock left about an hour ago when he got a message from Chris that he wanted to see him.”

“Hopefully it’s information about my attackers.”

“Probably. I know as they were leaving this morning they were talking about looking into the backgrounds of Tim Loren and Lenore Karidian.  I know they said there’s no indication Lenore was a student at Robert April’s school like the rest of you were.”

“Hmm. Doesn’t mean she wasn’t somehow on Tarsus IV. There were lots of people there. Thousands. And Captain April’s school wasn’t the only one.”

Amanda nodded and picked at her croissant. “What do you remember about Governor Kodos and your encounter with him.”

“Not all that much. I know his family was from the British Isles originally. He had a wife and a daughter, I think. Ten years before the crisis on Tarsus, he and his family settled there. He quickly became powerful and eventually was appointed governor. He had a big mansion with English style gardens. That’s where I saw him that day. The people I stayed with on Tarsus weren’t very nice. They weren’t abusive like Frank, but I didn’t like them and they didn’t like me.  I rarely went home after school. That day I got a little rebellious and hopped the fence into the mansion’s garden. He was out there.” Jim frowned. “I think his daughter was too. I don’t really remember her much. She was a bit younger I think and she was standing behind him, hanging onto his pant leg. Anyway, he told me to go before I got myself into trouble. That was it.”

She shook her head. “That doesn’t seem so remarkable as to put you in such danger.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t. I didn’t think so anyway. And then when it all went down, he was to supposed to have killed himself and died in the fire.”

“What happened to his wife and daughter?”

Jim shrugged. “I have no idea. I never heard if they were in the mansion when it burned down or if Kodos sent them away before the famine got bad. I don’t know.”

Jim finished his coffee and then went to another room to contact Spock to see when he thought he’d be back and if he had any news. But his communicator went unanswered.

Bones ended up coming over for lunch later, after Jim contacted him. They were seated on an outdoor patio of Pike’s home eating sandwiches.

“Hey, Bones. What do you know about Lenore anyway? How did Christine become friends with her?”

“Both in nursing school, I think.”

“Lenore’s a nurse?”

“A student. I don’t think she finished. And I guess considering everything she never will be.” Bones chewed his sandwich. “Even before we found out she’s likely a whack job, Christine told me she dropped out. I guess she told Christine that she only went to nursing school because her mom was a nurse before she met her father. Her mom died in a fire I guess and she was trying to memorialize her or something.”

“Wait. What? Her mom died in a fire?”

“I think that’s what Christine told me. Why?”

Jim shook his head. “Just…I mean, that seems…”

“What, Jim? What are you thinking?”

Dread was pooling in his stomach. “It’s crazy, Bones.”

“Tell me anyway.”

“Kodos set his house on fire and then killed himself. He had a wife and daughter on Tarsus. They supposedly found his body, but Kevin Riley didn’t believe it. But what about the wife and daughter?”

Bones eyes widened. “Are you…are you saying that Lenore might be his daughter and her mother died in that fire?”

“She’s the one who stabbed me, Bones. I know it. And she had somehow manipulated Kevin. I think she probably killed him. With help from that other guy.”

“Other guy? Slow down, Jim. What are you talking about?”

Jim took out his communicator. “I have to reach Spock.”

Just then the doors leading out to the patio opened and Jim looked up hopefully. It was not Spock, but it was Pike.

“Sir, I’m glad you’re back. Is Spock with you?”

“Spock? No.”

Jim’s heart stuttered. “You saw him this morning, right? You asked to see him in your office.”

Pike shook his head. “No, Jim. I haven’t seen Spock all day. And I didn’t ask to see him. I thought it was best he stay here with you.”

“Fuck.” Jim flipped open his communicator. “Spock? Kirk to Spock.”

There was a clicking sound, like it was making a connection. And for a moment Jim felt relief.

“Spock. Thank God. Where are you?”

He heard a maniacal feminine laugh.

“Can you come out to play, Jimmy?”

Rage and fear filled him. “Where’s Spock?”

“He’s here. With me. Better hurry. He’s not looking so good.”

Chapter Text

“This is a really bad idea.”

Jim acknowledged that understatement with a sharp nod, but at the moment he wasn’t even looking at Bones. He was currently a ball of frenetic nerves and energy.

“Jim—”

“What choice do I have? I can’t let anything happen to Spock because of me.”

“It wouldn’t be because of you, Jim. None of this has anything to do with what you’ve done. Lenore is insane.”

Jim finally glanced at Bones. He’d managed to slip out of Pike’s secure home to go out to meet Lenore when Pike was otherwise occupied looking into Spock’s apparent abduction.

Predictably, Bones insisted on coming with him. But to talk him out of it, apparently.

“That doesn’t change anything.”

“This is a trap.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Then—”

“I can’t take the chance with Spock’s life.”

“What if she doesn’t even have him?”

“She’s got his communicator at the least. I can’t imagine Spock losing it or letting someone steal it from him. But with what’s been going on, he has been reckless, and it’s possible she tricked him into thinking Pike wanted him to do something.”

Bones gripped his arm as Jim moved to step forward. “Then let Pike handle this. His team can go in there and locate Spock, rescue him.”

Jim was tired of arguing and frustrated. His intuition was screaming that he needed to do something fast. Or maybe it was whatever bond link he shared with Spock.

Lenore was Kodos’ young blonde daughter. Jim was certain of that. Maybe her mother died in that fire, but Lenore hadn’t. And Jim was no longer sure about Kodos. He didn’t think Kevin Riley had been paranoid after all. It could even be daddy dearest was behind everything. He was a war criminal and if alive, he’d never had to answer for those crimes.

Lenore had told him to come to a long-abandoned warehouse near the San Francisco pier. He currently hid in a nearby alleyway, waiting for the appointed time. He was armed with a phaser and a hidden dagger in his boot. Bones had insisted on leaving a message and directions for Pike when they left and Jim only hoped that Pike’s men reached them in time.

“Stay here,” he told Bones quietly.

“Like hell!”

“She said to come alone.”

“I don’t give a fuck what she said.”

“Bones, I can’t keep arguing with you. Spock’s life might depend on it. I need you to stay here and tell Pike and the others where we are when they get here. Please.”

Bones looked torn. “I don’t like this.”

“I don’t either. I wish to God I’d never been sent to Tarsus and none of this ever happened, Bones. But it did.”

“I don’t want you to die,” Bones said softly, a waver to his voice.

Jim let out a long breath. “I don’t want that either. And I don’t want Spock to die. And I swear I’ll be careful.”

“Considering you’ve already been about as idiotically reckless as I can imagine, I’m not sure I believe that. But I can see that you’re determined to be a damn fool so you can save Spock.”

Jim swallowed and nodded. “I love him.”

“Yeah.”

“And he loves me.”

“Go.” Bones’ nostrils flared. “And don’t get yourself killed.”

****  

Spock didn’t generally think of himself as careless. Logic ruled his way of acting.

At least until he’d met Jim. Everything had changed since then.

Knowing him slightly on Tarsus when they were both students at the school there had not counted, of course, but now, since meeting adult Jim at Starfleet Academy, Spock’s life and way of acting changed forever.

Mostly in good ways.

But his most recent action had cost him and was about to cost Jim. Spock only hoped they’d both get another chance.

The wild, crazed woman that had abducted him and now held him captive, tied up to a pillar in a warehouse, waited for Jim to come to meet her.

Spock was torn. He did not want to die at this madwoman’s hands as others before him had, Kevin Riley coming to mind, but he would rather that than have her get her hands on Jim.

But Spock knew Jim would come. Just as he would come for Jim were the situation reversed.

Lenore was not alone in the warehouse with Spock. With her was Tim Loren, also a former student on Tarsus. Spock didn’t know what her relationship was with Loren or how she had manipulated him into assisting her, but it was he who had tied Spock up after hitting him over the head when he’d foolishly left Pike’s compound.

“Where is he?” Lenore screeched impatiently. She had in her hands the same Klingon dagger she’d apparently used on Jim, the d’k tahg.

She’d been pacing back and forth for a while as they waited.

“What will you do if he does not come?” Spock asked her, watching her carefully. There was madness in her gaze.

She rounded on him. “I’ll kill you.”

“You will likely do so anyway.”

“I only want Kirk. I want Jim. I’ll release you when he comes!”

Spock did not believe her but to argue with a lunatic was illogical.

“What is your grudge against Jim?”

“I don’t have to tell you anything, Vulcan.” She continued her pacing. “You were there though, I know you were.”

”There?”

“Tarsus IV!”

“I was, yes. I attended a school there as a youth. Long ago now.” Spock paused. “What is your connection to Tarsus?”

“I came from there! It was my home. Everything was perfect until…” She trailed off, looking down as she paced.

“It wasn’t his fault,” she muttered. “What could he have done? He wasn’t in charge of the food supply. It wasn’t his fault.”

“Whose fault?”

“My father!”

“Kodos,” Spock said softly.

“Governor Kodos,” she shrieked. “Don’t you dare disrespect my father. He’s a great man.”

“But he is deceased.”

She laughed then, long and throaty. “Not dead. He faked it. He’s alive and living a peaceful life. Until Kevin Riley.”

Spock nodded. “Riley discovered your father was alive and living an assumed identity.”

Lenore gave him an ugly look. “He saw him in a play and got suspicious and then started looking into it. Talking to others like Kirk. Now he must die. All of you. To protect Daddy.”

“Lenore, I’m here. Let Spock go.”

Spock briefly closed his eyes at the sound of Jim’s voice. And so it would begin.

Chapter 26

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

All Jim could hope for at this point is that Pike and his team would arrive in time to prevent total climactic disaster.

Upon his arrival he quickly spotted Spock restrained to a pillar looking worse for wear. His bowl cut was askew, caked with green blood  in parts. There was a large gash across his forehead and a bruise forming on his cheek.

Jim was pissed and wanted to kill the bitch that held Spock. But he had to force himself to show some restraint.

“Lenore, I’m here. Let Spock go.”

He had little doubt that even if she did let Spock go, she would attempt to kill them both. But getting Spock loose would provide them with a better chance.

“Let me see you!” Lenore yelled back. “I don’t want any tricks.”

Jim inwardly scoffed at that. She was all about tricks.

But with heart hammering hard in his chest, Jim took several steps further into her death trap.

“Tim, release the Vulcan,” she said, coldly.

He could see the dagger in her hand, but it was by far not the only weapon she had with her. There was also a Starfleet phaser anchored to the belt at her right hip. Jim suspected it was set to kill.

Tim Loren went over to where Spock had been tied up, holding a large knife of his own. He used it to cut through the ropes binding Spock’s arms and legs. He slumped forward as soon as the shreds of rope slipped away and nearly landed on the hard floor on his knees. He stayed upright at the last minute.

“Spock.” Jim moved to go help him.

“No!” Lenore screamed. “Don’t.” She now held the phaser. “I’ll shoot him.”

“Let him leave. You have me now.” Jim glanced toward Spock. “He needs medical assistance.”

“I’m in charge here, Kirk.”

But the words had barely been spoken when an arrow flew from somewhere behind her, piercing straight into Loren. The man grunted and slumped to the floor.

Her eyes wild, she turned around. “I told you to come alone!”

“I did,” Jim insisted.

She turned back and raised her phaser. “Now Spock dies!” She fired her phaser directly at Spock.

No.

But it was a hit and Spock fell to the floor next to Loren.

Jim moved forward toward her intent on ending this for all of them.

But just as he reached her and she held the dagger at the ready, another arrow sang out from the darkness behind her and hit her in the back.

“Ahh!” Her eyes widened with shock as she fell down onto her knees, the arrow sticking out from her.

And then an old man appeared, holding a very large old fashioned crossbow. “Foolish girl,” the man spoke softly. “They were no threat to me.”

“Father, but…”

The man, Kodos, approached, crossbow lowered, as he knelt beside his mortally injured daughter.

“There has been too much death attributed to me. My fate rests with the Federation now.”

And at that moment, Jim heard the rush of men approaching and realized Pike and his men had arrived.

Jim turned away as they descended on the warehouse and rushed to Spock.

“Spock!”

As he lifted Spock into his arms, the Vulcan opened his eyes.

Relief brought tears to Jim’s eyes. “You’re not dead!”

“Jim? Jim? Are you in here?”

“Bones, over here. Spock’s been shot..”

But Spock grabbed one of Jim’s hands and directed him to lift up Spock’s sweater, which he did. Spock’s torso was covered by some kind of vest.

“What is that?” Jim asked, shocked.

“A precaution.”

Jim laughed and kissed him. “God, I love you.”

“I love you as well.”

****

 “It is really not necessary for me to stay in the hospital, I am quite well,” Spock insisted, while Jim and his mother stood by his hospital bed.

McCoy held a PADD and he made notes in it. “I’ll be the judge of that.”

“Now, honey, they just want to keep you overnight to make sure,”

“Mother, I would rather be home with Jim and you.”

She smiled and patted his hand. “We’d rather you were too but better safe than sorry. You were beaten rather severely. You’re lucky to be alive.” She shook her head. “Thanks to that prototype vest of your father’s. At least he came in handy somewhere.”

“Mother—”

“Listen to your mom, Spock. She knows best.” Jim flashed her a warm, winning smile. “Your dad’s on his way from Vulcan by the way.”

Spock frowned. “Is that really necessary?”

“He says it is,” Jim said, with a shrug. “He wants to check on you. I can’t blame him. That crazy bitch nearly killed you. I’m going to have nightmares for years.”

He let out a long breath and nodded, pressing his fingers to Jim’s. “And Governor Kodos?”

“In custody. Pike says they are already scheduling his trial for his crimes. Lenore was, of course, as we suspected, his supposedly dead daughter. She’s dead now and so is Tim Loren.” Jim looked down, then up to meet Spock’s gaze. “Two more victims of Tarsus IV.”

“She was no victim,” Bones spoke up with a scowl.

“But she was,” Jim insisted. “What happened there with the famine and the deaths and the loss of her mother drove her insane.”

Mother leaned in to kiss Jim’s cheek. “You are a good and kind man, Jim Kirk.”

Jim turned red, but didn’t reply.

She turned to Spock then. ”I’m going to go get some tea and Leonard is going to come with me.”

McCoy sputtered. “I don’t want any tea.”

“Yes, you do.” She looked at him pointedly.

He sighed. “Fine. Tea. I’ll be back shortly.”

Jim watched them with shadowed eyes as they left Spock’s hospital room. Then he turned to Spock moving closer still and sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Alone at last.”

“You are troubled.”

“So much could have gone wrong. So much did.”

“I apologize for falling for her trickery. I was not thinking…logically.”

“I know. And I’m just glad it didn’t turn out much worse. I couldn’t have handled it had you really died.”

“Yes, you could.” Spock squeezed his hand, his eyes serious.

“Well, I’m glad I don’t have to.”

Spock pulled him down until their lips were very close.  

“Me too. And I think it is time to speak of our formalizing things between us.”

Jim kissed him. “You speak of a Vulcan bond. A formal one.”

“Indeed. And marriage.”

Jim arched both brows. “Like an Earth marriage?”

Spock nodded.

“Are you proposing?”

Spock nodded again.

Jim laughed, kissed him once more. “I say yes.”  

Notes:

And that's a wrap on this one.
Thank you for those who stuck with it and those who will read it new as it is completed.
Another journey of love between these two.

From Cosmic Love
The stars, the moon
They have all been blown out
You've left me in the dark
No dawn, no day
I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

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