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Skin Deep

Chapter 35: Home

Notes:

Just wanna clarify something. The Twitter poll isn't concrete on the endgame ship. Perhaps it will be shiita, perhaps not. I would hate to give away the ending so quickly.

Chapter Text

Konoha smelled like home; there was no other way Shisui could describe it. Even while traveling from Suna and back, he had known he was at the border without having to simply look at the scenery. The air just seemed to have that scent about it. Something Shisui couldn’t place, but knew was home. Leaving Suna and Katsumi was necessary. Katsumi obviously had no desire for him to remain and Shisui hadn’t felt like he was home since even before they began fighting. Still, it felt like he was failing when he walked out of those gates, knowing that his wife was staying behind. That day they had finally spoken honestly was both cathartic and heartbreaking. Shisui loved her, he truly had and now he wondered if she had ever felt the same. 

In the end she had gotten what she wanted, and Shisui was left fumbling. Shisui had left early in the morning and Katsumi hadn’t bothered to see him off. Why would she? They were practically strangers now. For part of the journey, Shisui had simply felt sorry for himself. He was like a kicked dog running home with its tail between its legs. How was he going to explain this to everyone? How was he going to return to his home, now empty and alone. No wife, no child, just Shisui. Then, as soon as he saw that familiar forest, his uncertainty turned to excitement. He was finally home.

Home was empty.

It felt odd to enter with no one around. He should have been accustomed to it, having been there on his own for as long as he been.  Now, he didn't know what to do with himself. It felt like starting over.

He avoided the empty room that should have belonged to a baby, or a toddler by this point had they lived. Would things have been different if the child had survived? Would they still have gone to Suna or would they have remained in the village, raising their baby and loving each other. It felt unnecessary to torture himself with what ifs. Shisui couldn’t help it. He had wanted this perfect ending, though he had earned it and Katsumi had seemed so poised, so brilliant and kind. Had she been rolling her eyes behind his back this entire time? It felt like a waste.

He had been both excited and terrified to return to the village, excited to be home with his family and terrified they would judge him for coming back alone. Soulmates didn't divorce, it just wasn't a thing. At least Shisui had never heard of it, but it felt necessary when he asked Katsumi for one. Why would he stay in a one-sided marriage? Her pride certainly took a hit when he asked and Shisui felt like trash, but he was setting them both free.

He was greeted with enthusiasm by almost everyone, even those he had a little bit of tension with when he left. It felt like coming home was what he really needed. Fugaku and Mikoto had welcomed him home graciously, but cautioned him to not expect everyone to be excited to see him. They meant Sasuke and Shisui had been glad that he hadn’t run into the kid before he went to find Itachi. His cousins were happy to see him as were his friends. Kakashi Hatake however had looked at him with barely contained disappointment and Shisui could hardly blame him.

Then there was Itachi…

He wasn’t sure how he expected Itachi to react. He wasn’t so dense that he thought Itachi was going to simply fall into his arms the moment they saw each other. He had no right to assume Itachi would have simply waited for him, yet when he came back and saw Itachi…When he had left Itachi was still a kid, and still so uncertain about his future. Now, he was older, wiser and held himself with so much poise and elegance that it was breathtaking. He was breathtaking. He had grown, shoulders broader and face sharper. He was beautiful, like something out of a myth. Shisui felt unworthy to even gaze upon him.

 Then Itachi spoke to him. Shisui had never felt so small in his life. Itachi hadn’t held back, pouring all his pain out for Shisui to see but refusing to allow Shisui to take the upper hand.

How could Shisui do anything other than respect his wishes? Itachi had suffered time and time again because of him. Itachi was stuck with a mark that offered him nothing but pain. Shisui never thought he would ever be capable of treating Itachi the way he did, and yet now here he was. He was now facing the consequences of his own actions and he knew he deserved it.

Itachi was too good for him, Itachi did deserve better and it was high time he realized it. Shisui was proud of him. 

Itachi had grown up into a gorgeous and confident young man, and he left Shisui in the dust, where he belonged. 

 


 

It was oddly liberating to have finally said what he did to Shisui. As if a dam had broken, spilling out all of Itachi’s toxicities and pain. He hadn’t yelled, had barely raised his voice, but the message had been clear all the same. When he had returned to the group, he had been exhausted, as if his entire social meter had reached the end. Kakashi had given him an odd look, and Itachi wondered if he could guess how the conversation went. If he did, he was far too polite to bring it up and had simply bid him a good night and left him for the evening. Itachi walked home both satisfied and tired. He had sent a very clear message; he was no longer Shisui’s side show and he never would be again.

Days passed and Itachi went back to his duties, content for the first time in a while. There was no pushback about his conversation with Shisui, and instead Shisui seemed happy to simply be back home. Itachi continued reporting to Hiruzen, aiding the Hokage in any way he could. It wasn’t exactly a secret that Hiruzen was preparing him to take his place, and it seemed those who knew had no complaints. Danzo would be rolling in his grave, and part of itachi wished he and Shisui could laugh about that together. Despite everything, Danzo had been wrong and would continue to be so. The Uchiha were thriving and one waited in the wings to someday protect and guide the village. 

There was a new tea set sitting at his front door when Itachi returned from grocery shopping. He stared at it for a long moment before glancing around, as if the person who left it would be waiting in the shadows. There was no one around. Itachi carefully set down his bag before lifting up the tea set. It was a delicate brown paper box with thin ribbons wrapped around it.

He recognized the ribbon on it as from a local shop he enjoyed. The tea there was particularly expensive so Itachi would only go there on occasion. It did not take much guessing on who sent it, and for a moment Itachi considered simply dropping the set and walking inside. 

However, it was very good tea. 

Sighing, Itachi bent down, gathering his groceries and holding onto the set. When he got to his front door, he fumbled for his keys and slipped inside. The blinds were pulled down, leaving the apartment dark and cool. Itachi set his groceries down and placed the tea set on the table, along with his keys. He was scheduled to meet Hiruzen later that day, and Itachi glanced up at the clock to ensure he had enough time before he needed to report. He still had several medical oils he needed to go through and put in inventory. He had been helping the medical team put together kits for shinobi when they traveled out of the village and they had sent two boxes of supplies for Itachi to put together. Those he could finish by the evening of his meeting did not go too long and he could bring them directly to the barracks.

There was a message on the answering machine from Shizune, confirming a meeting time with Lady Tsunade who had finally made a permanent residence in the village as the head of the hospital. Another message was from Genma regarding drop off times for the supplies. Itachi listened to each before deleting them. He put the groceries away, wiping down the counter and double checking the expiration date on the endame.There was still half an hour before he needed to head out, but if he left a little early then he wouldn't have to rush. He ran into Izumi on his way out, or she was standing at his door waiting and beamed at the sight of him; she must have been waiting for him.

“Hello Izumi.” He greeted her.

“Oh, hello!” She waved at him, that smile still in place. He wondered why she was there. They didn’t hang out together and Izumi was often busy with the academy and her husband, who she had married last month. “Shisui’s back,” She commented, obviously in an attempt to fill the awkward silence. 

“Yes, for a few days now.” Itachi replied as he locked the door behind him. Even after she had matched with her soulmate there were times where Itachi would catch her looking at him. Not quite as she used to, but something more wistful, as if curious. Itachi knew that she used to have a crush on him, and had been upset when she hadn’t received his name and part of him wondered if things would have been simpler for him if he had matched her. It felt ridiculous to think about; he had no feelings for her and having a mark really shouldn’t have been the thing to change it. She was happy with her soulmate, but sometimes she looked at Itachi as if she pitied him.

“They’re having a welcoming party at the compound,” Izumi informed him. “You’re welcome to come.” So that was why she was here. She had always wanted Itachi to be part of the clan again, seeing him pull away as some sort of tragedy. 

“I have plans.” Itachi immediately replied and Izumi frowned. 

“I didn’t even tell you a date or time.” She argued, following him as he walked down the sidewalk.

“And I will still have plans.” He didn’t bother looking at her, knowing she would eventually grow annoyed with him enough to leave. She seemed adamant to follow after him, her stride not as long as his.

“I know you didn’t like his wife much, but Shisui really needs our support now.  Did you not hear that he and Katsumi are divorcing?” She rushed forward to keep pace, brushing her hair from her face.

“I did.”

“And that’s it?” Izumi slowed down, staring at him. You’re just going to ignore your best friend? He could really benefit from having you there for him, Itachi.”

“Shisui has plenty of friends in this village. It is not my job to cater to him.” It wasn’t and Itachi did not appreciate Izumi trying to insert herself somewhere she was not wanted. She had a tendency of taking on other people’s issues as her own and while she had good intentions ot usually came off as a bit sanctimonious. 

“I never took you to be someone so selfish.” She murmured, an obvious attempt to shame him. 

Itachi turned on Izumi, startling her enough for her to stumble to a halt. “I am busy.” He informed her in a clipped tone. “And I do not owe you or him any explanation of what I do with my time.”

“He’s your best friend.” She scolded him, hands on her hips as if she were his mother and he was a misbehaving child.

“Was,” Itachi coldly replied. “I grew up and moved on with my life, perhaps it’s time that you did the same.” If he was speaking to her or Shisui it did not matter. Izumi jutted out her chin, shoulders squaring before she turned, storming away in a huff. He didn't feel bad. Why would he? Shisui had plenty of friends within the clan and Itachi had no interest in playing pretend just to please Izumi.

For the most part, Shisui respected Itachi's wishes. Itachi didn't run into him on the street or at the Hokage's residence. He never worried that Shisui would corner him and force a confrontation. Sasuke was not happy when he learned Shisui was back. He was a little old to try fighting him but didn't bother hiding his disdain for him. Sasuke’s icy disregard could sting more than his hits.

Still, Itachi would occasionally come home to a new gift outside his door and try as he might, Itachi was touched that Shisui knew all his favorite treats as well as the intricately designed knife set that must have cost him an entire mission's pay. It would have been wiser to simply throw the gifts out, and sometimes he would give some of the treats away to Shinko, but for the most part, like the letters he took the gifts. There wasn’t anything to it, but he wondered if it was why he still wore the necklace. Something kept him from completely letting go, even if he wanted to.

That night he met the group for drinks, or he met them for the snacks they provided while they drank. Kakashi was not there, having delayed finishing his reports to the last minute and was now scrambling. Itachi had offered to help him, but Kakashi waved him off with assurances that he was a big boy and he ought to finish them on his own. The group met at Genma and Gai's place. Gai had gone as far as to bake cookies for their guests in the shape of little knives; he always was the best host.

"Shisui's out on a mission." Genma handed a beer to Yamato. "Guess Hiruzen was thrilled to have him back on the field. It wasn't surprising that Shisui would throw himself back into his duties so soon after returning. He hadn’t even been medically cleared with Lady Tsunade, but it seemed he was eager to return to duty. Itachi could hardly fault him for that. If he were in Shisui's shoes he would have leaped at the first chance to return to the field.

"Have you gotten the chance to see Shisui much?" Gai asked in concern as picked up a cookie. "I know you too were very close comrades."

"We've spoken," Itachi replied, leaving it at that. Genma had for the third time tried offering Itachi a drink and Yamato for the third time had to remind him that Itachi wasn't technically old enough. 

“Kind of stupid that we can send him out to kill some dignitry or fuck him, but we can’t let the kid enjoy one drink in the safety of a friend’s home.” Genma had drawled and Yamato had paused. A good argument, definitely not a new one. Genma offered Itachi the glass and Yamato had inclined his head. 

“I really shouldn’t,” Itachi argued even as he took the glass. It wasn’t as if he had never drank before, but never with friends. It was almost exciting. He drank from the glass and Genma grinned in triumph. Gai offered Itachi the cookie tray while Yamato bemoaned becoming a bad influence, and Itachi simply enjoyed their company.

 This was what having friends was like, at least more than a single friend. He felt like he belonged, not just as an Uchiha or as a shinobi but a person. Itachi wasn’t sure how he had managed without them. He would be okay, he knew in the end he would be.