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You Just Got Moonestruck

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Setting, Oceanview Pavilion, Port Hueneme, California

UWN Television Champion "Timeless" Levi Shapiro and manager Howdy Price are in the ring.

HOWDY PRICE: "Howdy! For the past six months, nobody has been able to defeat this man for the Television Title."

TODD KENELEY: (Off-camera) "That's because you cheated every time!"

HOWDY PRICE: "Because I have such confidence in my Champion, the star of the Price Check Ranch, I am issuing an open challenge to anyone in the back who thinks they've got what it takes to beat this man."

Dead silence, then out walks..."The Subspace Sweetheart" Sandra Moone? And she's carrying a rulebook?

Sandra enters the ring.

SANDRA MOONE: I checked the UWN rulebook and the dictionary before I came out here. Our sister promotion Championship Wrestling From Memphis has already introduced intergender wrestling on their show, so I don't see why we can't have it here. Televisions are inanimate objects, they are gender- neutral. I committed myself to winning a title here in Championship Wrestling From Hollywood. Given how Jamie Iovine is trying to destroy the Women's Division here, that leaves me two options. One, go somewhere else to compete for a title. Or two, try to win a so-called men's title. With that in mind, Levi Shapiro, Howdy Price, I pick Option 2 and I accept your challenge."

Shapiro and Price are confused and don't know how to respond. They talk it over and call for a referee. Senior Official Nick Bonanno hits the ring and we have a match.

UWN Television Champion "Timeless" Levi Shapiro (w/Howdy Price) vs. "The Subspace Sweetheart" Sandra Moone

Sandra blitzes Levi, who seems really reluctant to lock up with a woman. Price seems to have lost all his usual obnoxiousness and just stands silent. Levi realizes the situation he is in and finally starts hitting some moves, with Sandra bumping well for him. Given that Shapiro's usual finish is hitting his opponent with a loaded black glove behind the referee's back, he's struggling to come up with a Plan B, because Howdy doesn't want to have to hit a woman. Shapiro, out of desperation, grabs the glove from Howdy but Sandra ducks out of the way. Sandra grabs Shapiro's arm and hits the Moonestruck (Full Nelson Facebuster) for the surprise pin and the title!

RING ANNOUNCER ADNAN KUREISHY: "Here is your winner, and the NEW UWN Television Champion, 'THE SUBSPACE SWEETHEART' SANDRA MOONE!"

Sandra poses with the belt, but that's not the end of the story. Shapiro and Price get into a shouting and shoving match. Shapiro then FIRES Price as his manager and walks to the back alone.

The end.