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so terribly happy

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Lady Edith Crawley was a bundle of nerves and happiness as she stood with her hand gently placed upon her father’s arm and her future husband just yards away, down this forsaken aisle.

Hurry, walk faster, oh dear God, since when has this aisle so long?!

Left foot, right foot, left foot, yes, almost there. Don’t trip now… 

And, suddenly, the aisle was gone and she was standing next to her love. Oh, something was on his mind, she could tell. Nerves, just like hers, she assumes.

Good afternoon.” her excitement barely concealed in her whisper. Her smile was so broad; she didn’t think she’d ever stop smiling. Fore today, she would be united in marriage with her dear lovely Anthony. 

Good afternoon, my sweet one.” the sincerity and love heard in his faint whisper made her so incredibly happy, this day had finally come!

Dearly beloved, we are-“

I can’t do this.” 

Edith turned quickly to her side, confused, in shock. Something is wrong. There is struggle in her love’s voice. Something is wrong. 

In her shock and worry, she doesn’t hear her father’s surprised exclamation. She’s focused on her love, what was wrong?

I can’t do it.” He repeats, his words sinking in. She’s confused; she feels her smile slipping away. She doesn’t understand – “You know it’s wrong; you told me so yourself. Several times.” He’s talking, frantically, to her father now. No, no. This can’t be –

“My dear chap-“

“No. I never should of let it get this far.” He was talking about them. Their relationship. He is trying to stop the wedding. “I should have stopped it long ago – I tried to stop it.” It was her fault? Her fault that he was stopping their wedding? 

No. She won’t let him. This is their day; they are going to be so happy together.

What… what are you saying?” she desperately tries to smile, as if this is just a terrible mistake, as if he’ll say, “Never you mind, darling.” And they’ll carry on with the ceremony.

She turns to Papa, hoping against hope that he’ll help her, “I don’t understand what you are saying.” She's faking a smile now, trying to ignore the burning sensation in her throat and behind her eyes. She will not cry. Not here.

Edith.” He says it loudly, exasperatedly. He pauses, looks at her wide eyes and looks around the congregation. “Edith.” He repeats, in a whisper now. “I can’t let you throw away your life like this.”

She doesn’t know what to say. She doesn’t understand. Why is he doing this to her?

“What do you mean? We are so happy aren’t we?” Her hand clutches onto his large and gentle hand. “We are going to be so terribly, terribly happy.”

“You are going to be happy, I pray that you are, only if you don’t waste yourself on me.” His forceful whisper, trying to make her understand. Her eyes go wider, her mouth opens, as if she is to protest. But she can’t think clearly. All she knows is that her love is slipping through her fingers and she can’t let him go.

Her Granny is there, and her Anthony is walking – running away.

Happiness was so close to her… 

They were going to be so terribly, terribly happy.