Work Text:
Yamadad: IZU JUST ASKED ME FOR DATING ADVICE
Yamadad: WE HAVE A CODE GREEN PEOPLE
WineAunt: OH SHIT :DDDD
Dadzawa: Dating Advice For Whom?
Yamadad: oh no, I was sworn to secrecy, the boys are wise to you
UncleGun: you raised some smart kids
Brainless: they didn’t raise them? They’ve been adopted for less than a year
WineAunt: yagi really uh
Brainless: please no
WineAunt: yagi really living up to the name, huh
Dadzawa: time is a concept invented by the jedi, I don’t even know how to spell it
Brainless: I…
Brainless: ok I give up
WineAunt: the evil has been defeated
UncleGun: huzzah!
Blockhead: huzzah!
Ghostbusters: anyway, dating advice, what did you tell him?
Yamadad: I told him to follow his heart and ask the boy out!
Dadzawa: boy?
Yamadad: fuck
Dadzawa: that narrows it down, thanks honey
Yamadad; oh no I’ve betrayed my son D:
WineAunt: that’s terrible advice, zashi
WineAunt: auntie is stepping in
UncleGun: oh, I’ll come too!
WineAunt: I don't think I’ve ever seen you on a date
UncleGun: oh yeah, not for me, but I want to see him get flustered
WineAunt: acceptable, I’ll meet you outside the teachers lounge before lunch, we’ll corner him then
Yamadad: no!!! Let this play out organically!!
WineAunt: um, no? Your advice was shit, he’s gonna get rejected and friendzoned
Yamadad: I didn’t want to have to do this, Nemuri, but you leave me no choice
Yamadad: Nemuri’s girlfriend, her name
Yamadad: is
WineAunt: I take it back I won’t say anything
Yamadad: pleasure doing business with you
Blockhead: oh yeah, her
Blockhead: are you bringing her to the sf?
WineAunt: no she couldn't get away from work :(
Blockhead: oh well, you’ll be ref, so she can still see you
WineAunt: true :)
Ghostbusters: kayama you know this is like showing a starving man food, but saying he can’t have any, you know that, right?
WineAunt: I don’t just want people to know I’m dating her tho!!! We’re both heroes and everyone says mean things about people seen with me on the internet and I don’t want that for her :((((
Ghostbusters: HEROES???
Ghostbuster: wait no, we knew that
SPAAACE: have you asked her if she wants to go public? Or if you can tell friends?
WineAunt: I mean
WineAunt: no?
WineAunt: I'm just so nervous, I love her a lot and don’t want her to get any backlash in case it comes out, you know?
WineAunt: I’m the 18+ hero, I don’t want people to say the things they say about me about her
Yamadad: I mean no one’s found out about me and Sho yet, so it's not impossible to keep it under wraps
WineAunt: yeah but sho’s underground and out of costume you look like a normal person
Yamadad: excuse?!
Dadzawa: well, you have a pretty out there gimmick. You in sweats looks nothing like Midnight. And she looks similar, yeah, but without her gimmick people will gloss right over her.
UncleGun: ok, she has a gimmick, ecto, write that down
Ghostbusters: how does that help? Most heroes have a gimmick
UncleGun: true...wait, she’s aboveground, for sure
WineAunt: what drew you to that conclusion
UncleGun: you wouldn’t need to worry about people recognizing her if she was underground
WineAunt: fuck
WineAunt: oh she responded
WineAunt: ...I feel like an idiot
Dadzawa: she was operating under the assumption that you could tell people you are close to and told her team?
WineAunt: ….got it in one
Yamadad: aw man, there’s my blackmail material gone
WineAunt: oh yeah! Snipe, we’re on to heckle izu later
Yamadad: fuck!!!
Yamadad: ok well I’m spilling the beans now
WineAunt: fuck off
WineAunt: Shino, Mandalay of the WWPC
UncelGun: WOOOO, GET IT GIRL
Ghostbusters: I was not expecting that, to be entirely honest with you
Blockhead: right? She seems super straight laced, like a real mom, totally not the type kayama usually goes for
WineAunt: and I LOVE her so if you say anything MEAN I will KILL YOU
Blockhead: last we heard she “wasn’t your girlfriend” so I’m guessing one of you asked the other out in the past two weeks since that conversation?
WineAunt: ...yeah
Ghostbusters: it was Sosaki, wasn’t it
WineAunt: ...yeah
Blockhead: thank god, watching your gaze linger on photos of the WWPC was weird until I figured out who specifically you were looking at
Yamadad: I think it's kind of funny that she got a cat too
WineAunt: oh you’re right hang on
WineAunt: I got a cat, guys
UncleGun: please not this bit
Yamadad: wow!!! Send pictures of the kitty!
WineAunt: [ image.jpg ]
Yamadad: nem that’s a kid??
UncleGun: WE ARE NOT DOING THIS BIT
UncleGun: oh wait there’s actually a kid in that picture
WineAunt: yeah that’s her nephew
Blockhead: ah, you’re a cougar
WineAunt: WE’RE THE SAME AGE
Ghostbusters: mentoss fixing to sleep forever lmao
Dadzawa: ignoring nemuri’s inability to ask a girl out, can we get back to the topic at hand
Dadzawa: who does izuku have a crush on
Yamadad: you aren’t getting anything from me
Dadzawa: that’s fine I’ll just ask the class
WineAunt: and kill the boy with embarassment?
Dadzawa: you’re right, I need to be subtle
Dadzawa: I’ll ask them one at a time
WineAunt: alright, next time I see you I’m knocking you out, your dad instincts are in overdrive and it's making you... illogical
UncleGun: GASP! Aizawa? Illogical?! IMPOSSIBLE!!!
Yamadad: honey you need a nap; I approve this plan, nem
Dadzawa: all of you are traitors, no one deserves him
SPAAACE: I think the one who gets to decide that is, well, him?
HesAStoat: I am curious to see how my student approaches this problem, especially since his brother is no doubt using this to test the parental waters, so to speak
Dadzawa: his
Dadzawa: brother?
Dadzawa: are you trying to tell me Hitoshi also has a crush on someone?
HesAStoat: yes! I have overheard them speaking of it. Izuku’s crush is the sacrificial lamb should things go south, I believe :)
Yamadad: makes sense
Dadzawa: wait, zashi, you know who it is???
Yamadad: you must not pay attention in class
WineAunt: oh, it’s him
Blockhead: ahhhh
Ghostbusters: oh it’s the one who looks sad during math, isn’t it
UncleGun: does that mean the crush is returned???
SPAAACE: oh! I know who it is now! Yeah, that’s pretty obvious
Dadzawa: nedzu I would like to call a staff meeting
HesAStoat: perhaps you should instead use your underground skills to sniff out the object of your youngest son’s affections instead of locking your coworkers into a room until one of them breaks :)
Dadzawa: thank, I hate it
Dadzawa: are you sure I can’t call a staff meeting
HesAStoat: quite.
WineAunt: I feel like my life just flashed before my eyes
UncleGun: oh no, it definitely did
Ghostbusters: I don't wanna be a real ghost
Blockhead: if he does manage to corner us, I have a plan to get us out, just use the buddy system and we’ll be fine
Yamadad: you guys get to go home at the end of the day
Yamadad: but at least I have the boys as a buffer!
WineAunt: oh shit the boys are going to die
UncleGun: we can warn them when we give advice to izu
WineAunt: good call
Dadzawa: I will find out and I will interview this “boy”
Dadzawa: if I don’t find him worthy I will expel him
Dadzawa: but at least now I know it’s someone in my class
Yamadad: FUCK
WineAunt: goddammit
UncleGun: ok now we really need to warn them
Dadzawa: that narrows it down to 12 people, which is a totally feasible number
UncleGun: we might need to warn the whole class
Class 1-AYYYYYY
IcyHot: a chill just washed over me
CopyCat: same
LifeIsPain: the forces of darkness converge on us…
PikaCHU: wait, you guys too?! Sero, Kiri and I all just had it happen
MuffinMan: that makes seven of us
BreadIsPain: huit! Erm, eight
SnowWhite: >.>
Octodad: all of the guys…?
RipHarambe: looks like it
PurpleGrape: what
GreenGrape: I felt nothing…? Wait, but todoroki, I thought your quirk regulated your temperature?
IcyHot: it does, which is the only reason I mentioned it
NYOOM: most peculiar, that all the men of the class save for Shinsou and Midoriya felt a chill!
Jacked: wack, none of the girls felt anything. You boys get up to anything dangerous recently?
CopyCat: not that I can think of
RockSolid: we’ve been good, I swear!
PurpleGrape: wait, just me and Izu?
PurpleGrape: FUCK, DAD FOUND OUT
GreenGrape: oh no
MOMo: found out what?
GreenGrape: oh no