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The Woodchuck Revolution Chronicles; a true account from both sides of the war

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The Woodchuck Revolution Chronicles; a true account from both sides of the war

Names have been changed, or left out to project witnesses

All testimonies have been reviewed by multiple sources to provide accurate recounting


Story 1: The generals guard

A lone woodchuck walked along the forest floor searching for the rebel humans, behind him he could hear his brother’s cry.

“How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood. Woodchuck could chuck wood.”*

*authors note, from now on when referring to the woodchucks cry/call it is referring to this, even if not stated, and unless stated otherwise.

The cry’s made the ground shake, and he rushed ahead, knowing that the rebels would use it to gauge the Woodchuck army’s distance. A sneak attack would catch them all off guard.

He grinned, his buck teeth glinting in the moonlight, just think of all the wood he would get for their camp.

But when he arrived, there was no wood to be found. Just empty tents and shacks. He cursed silently. Turning up towards the sky, and shouting the well known battle cry, before saying;

“Turn back, they’re gone.”

A short pause.

The General responded. “Well press on straight through camp, and try to find them, you head back, and inform the Royal family.”

Being the General’s guard, he immediately complied. “Yes Sir!”

Before he could start off back to the main town, where the Woodchuck royal family resided, he saw it. A baby. It was human. It must of been lost in the chaos.

The Woodchuck paused, before picking it up, hunching over slightly at the weight. He knew he should turn it in, let it get sent to the human camps, but something in him didn’t want to.

A light laugh rang out.

And as the Generals Guard stared down at the baby, he wondered what side he should be on.

That was the beginning of his work as an inside agent, helping the rebellion, as he cared for the child outside of town.

“Sometimes I wonder what would of happened, if I had never found that child,” he said, when we asked him about it, “I had lost my own children in the war, in a fire the rebellion sent. The realization that they could lose their children too, quelled the anger, and hatred in my heart. Making it turn to empathy. I didn’t start being an inside man, until the baby was about six, but by then I knew that it was the right choice.”

When we asked to speak to the now grown up, baby, they said, “The generals guard,* is the best father I could of ever had, and even though we were at opposite sides of the war, the connection was always there, until he stood by me, on, by my side.”

This spy’s work, was a big part of the rebellion winning the war. He provided important documents, and battle plans. It would of taken much longer to win if not for their efforts, but they want to be left out of history.

“I am just a Woodchuck.” They said, “And that’s all I’ll ever be. I took years to do the right thing, I should not be praised for that.”

Story 2: A Rebel’s fire

A Rebel soldier sits atop a bride, they had slipped into woodchuck territory, disguised as one of the humans who had betrayed the rebellion, a fake mark on their face.

A match sat in their hand, they sighed, knowing what they had to do. This building was full of papers, and documents, vital to the Woodchuck army’s effort in the war. But if they lit this fire, it would spread, maybe even killing those around, civilians.

If they did this, were they any better than the Woodchucks?

It didn’t matter they had to do this.

Pouring the gasoline they had smuggled in with them, over the building, the Rebel dropped the match, then another.

It hit the building with a spark, the Rebel turned, sick to the stomach. Not seeing the fire, but smelling the smoke, as they rushed away. Ready to tell their leader the plans. As they rushed out of the town, they passed a teenager, covered in dirt.

“I remember thinking it was strange.” They said, when we asked why they wanted us to keep it in the story. “And strange things have a way of returning.” Before what we could ask what they meant, they nodded subtly to the lobby. “I just saw them out there, it was a shock, I don’t think they recognized me though.”

They didn’t elaborate, so we asked how they felt about what had happened. “I regret it everyday, but I probably wouldn’t have done anything different, if I had the Woodchuck’s would have killed thousands more.”

They are often mentioned in history books briefly as a footnote, or debated on in class, but the effects they had in history are as large as the feelings they have about the incident.

Story 3: A girl covered in dirt

*We invited this person, off of a tip one of the Rebels we had interviewed briefly gave.

A girl ran through the wood, hearing the chants of the Woodchucks behind her. Shaking all over from the cold, and fear, she jumped into a ditch, making sure to avoid a place with wood when hiding. She upheaved the loose dirt, covering her body, leaving her mouth uncovered, and placed a leaf over it. Returning her arm under the dirt, she held her breath, hearing the chanting grow close.

After a few seconds the chanting passed, as quickly as it had drawn close. She burst up tired, and breathing heavily. Her hands shook, as she tried to stand up. Carefully, she started towards the Rebel camp in the other direction for where the Woodchucks had gone.

Covered in dirt, she stumbled through the forest, slightly out of it. Everything a blur. After a while she saw the camp.

“Hey!” She shouted

Questions commenced;

“Why are you covered I dirt?”

“What happened in the mission?”

“You failed huh?”

The Leader of their camp, approached her, shooing away everyone else with a hand motion. “What happened?”

She recounted in detail, so the Leader could make an account, and took notice as the Leader frantically scribbled down her hiding method.

Many years later this method of hiding had become so common that the Woodchucks had found out about it. Many lives were lost before the word was spread about them knowing, but many lives were saved by this hiding method as well.

When asked if they wanted credit, she said. “No. It helped people, but also hurt them, in the end, it was one small thing out of many small things, and all of them together lead to our victory. Not just one person. Not just one thing.”

It wasn’t just one small thing though, we intervened many survivors, and their stories all day the same thing; they would of been caught if not for it. Even if later it started failing, everything fails with age eventually.

One survivor said, “I thank whoever thought of this everyday, without it I wouldn’t be here, seeing humans, and Woodchucks, side by side.

Story 4: A partial observer


“How much wood could a wood chuck chuck?”

From the trees a bird watched the Woodchucks march. The bird population was divided, with the majority learning towards the Woodchucks side. The observer however hated his senseless war for dominance.

He clapped his wings following them along long enough to figure out their path. They were heading to the camp.

He flew ahead as fast as he could, as a black bird though, he was tiny, and almost wasn’t fast enough.

He reached the camp about 14 minutes before the people at the front of the Woodchuck’s army. It may of seemed like a lot of time, but to move a whole community it was barely any time at all.

Landing in the middle of camp, he yelled, “Run!”

The Humans looked at him, he knew that most animals, beside the few ones allied with humans, kept out of the war, or sided with the Woodchucks. Especially the birds, and chipmunks. Although the chipmunks were more in agreement about their side as a whole.

“You need to leave the Woodchucks are coming.”

“Thank you.” What seemed to be the Leader said, as everyone scrambled to leave.

After a few moments the bird heard the cry come closer, and then he saw something. A baby. He couldn’t do anything, it would be impossible to save it. All he could do was flat away, and hope for the best.

When he came back to check on the baby, he saw that it had moved, and feared the worst, but heard babbling sounds from the woods. A human must of snuck in and hid it, he had tonight at the time.

When asked about how they felt about it, they just said, “I’m just a partial observer, and I wish I could of moved that baby.”

This so-called partial observer, saved about a hundred lives, and selflessly risked their’s. If not for them so many things would of changed, and even if it wasn’t thousands of lives, to save just one life of those who everyone tells you is the enemy, is courageous.

Story 6: The human general

A general kneels before the Woodchuck Royal Family, resisting the urge to spit at hen, knowing it will only get them killed. They feel themselves get yanked up, and dragged away, as the Queen says;

“We are superior, you need to accept that.”

They are thrown into a jail cell, it’s cold, and the only light is a small rectangular window. They spend a week, maybe two in there. Knowing they should be thankful they aren’t dead, like many of the lower ranking soldiers. Food comes once a day, hunger grows, the guards laugh at them, spitting out chunks of woods at them every time a meal is served.

After what seemed like forever they are taken out, it’s early in the morning, they are thrown in a cart full of so many people that they can barely move. When it stops they are at a camp. It was the first day of many, they guessed about a year, when asked, but weren’t sure.

The General never went into depth about their experience there until the end, but said that they worked from day until night. Doing what? Cutting, wheedling, moving, chopping, wood.

The last two weeks, or so, they planned a great escape. After about a week, they had gotten all the necessary tools, and people. Weapons had been carefully made out of discarded wood, and other items. On the day when the leader had to go give a report to someone, who the general didn’t know, The general, and his allies attacked. More, and more people joined in, as the entire camp was in chaos.

Eventually they had killed all the Woodchucks except one who had surrendered, and offered to open the gate for them. A day later they were in the forest, ready to start their own camp, one of many. That eventually took in the people in front he camp that had evacuated, “because a bird told them too.”

“To tell you the truth, I wasn’t sure if I could trust them at first, I had gone through a lot, and their story was strange, but I’m glad I did.” They said

When asked how they came up with the plan, the General said. “I just did, desperate times, call for desperate measures.”

This wasn’t just some desperate measure thought, about a thousand prisoners rallied together, and escaped. It was such a big event that it was coined ‘The camp riot.” And later renamed by humans in history books as ‘The great camp escape.” Countless movies, and books had been told about it, but everyone leaves out the man behind it all, beside a brief mention. Maybe it was left out because of the coverup by the Woodchucks government, maybe the General just wanted to keep it a secret, after finally being free. Whatever it was, it’s not important now, the story is.

Story 7: A wrap up, and epilogue

While not a story of the war, we would like to give a brief conclusion.

We wanted to show parts of the war, beside what if taught in school for days, and know by all, we wanted to talk about the forgotten pole, and their stories. This war was won by many nameless, faceless people. Heroic, but just like us. They affected the world, but were left out of the story. So we decided to tell it, to tell their untold story, make them no longer a footnote, but the main character. Because for every heroic act, for every big decision, for every hard choice, there is an effect, and if these effects are important enough they should not just be chalked up to a small moment in history. Small moments like these, make one big web. One worth showing.

We didn’t need to state that one of the few Woodchucks on our side took over the government, when the war was over. We didn’t need to talk about all the things they as a whole did to fix rings over the next few years. Or about the peace treaty. For everyone has heard those things so many times it feels like something that was unimportant and boring. Even though the war was anything but.

We’d like to thank all these people for agreeing to being interviewed. And may humans and Woodchucks remain in peace as long as the earth survives.

I too will rename nameless like those in this story, as a tribute.

- A Historian from the Woodchuck, Human War study 14;7K