Chapter Text
The first time Ava noticed it, they're sparring.
Beatrice had flipped and pinned her to the mat when the briefest flash of silver popped up from underneath Beatrice's collar.
A crucifix?
"Getting better, you ready to go again?" Beatrice asked.
Ava blinked up at her friend and reached out for the necklace until her fingers brushed against cool metal. It looked old.
Beatrice didn't move, but regarded Ava with curiosity.
"I've never noticed this before." Ava said.
"It usually stays under my clothes." Beatrice replied, when Ava dropped her hand she tucked it back away. "You seem surprised that I wear one?"
"Well when you say it like that I feel like an idiot." Ava sat up. "It looks old."
"It is." Beatrice confirmed. "I've had it since I was a child."
Beatrice didn't elaborate further and she got to her feet, holding out a hand for Ava.
"We going again?" Ava asked.
"If Lilith sees us sitting around talking she's just going to go harder on you next time."
Now that was the truth, and unlike Beatrice, Lilith couldn't be appeased with kisses.
At least Ava didn't think so, she hadn't really tried.
"Fine." Ava leant in to press a quick kiss to Beatrice's cheek. "Please don't hurt me too much."
Beatrice smiled even as she rolled her eyes. "I'll try."
--
Surprisingly, it was Beatrice who brought up the necklace a few days later.
They're in her room, Beatrice reading at her desk while Ava half dozes on the bed.
Ava had found her way there while on a mission to avoid her studies with Lilith.
("You do realise that this is going to be the first place she comes to look for you, right?" Beatrice had pointed out when Ava had shown up.)
But so far they had been left alone, and Ava enjoyed having the extra time to relax with her girlfriend.
"It was given to me by my Grandmother." Beatrice said suddenly.
Ava opened her eyes and sat up enough to meet Beatrice's gaze across the room, it was a sudden enough statement that it took Ava a moment to realise what she was even talking about.
"Your Grandmother… What was she like?" Ava asked quietly.
Beatrice smiled, more to herself than anything. "Regal, but kind. When my father's political career started to take off I would spend a lot more time with her. She would take me to church each Sunday."
Regal. Even with as little knowledge Ava had about Beatrice's family, regal seemed like a word that just fit.
Even Beatrice herself, in the way that she would carry herself, Ava would watch and just think there was something majestic about her.
"Did she ever do things like bake cookies with you? I always imagined that being something a Grandma would do."
"Only once, that I can remember." Beatrice replied. She frowned as she turned to Ava. "Did you know your grandparents?"
"Never met them." Ava shrugged. She saw Beatrice's expression soften with sympathy and hurried to add, "She took you to church?"
Beatrice nodded and got up to cross the room and sit on the edge of the bed.
"Right up until she died. I was twelve , I had wanted to continue to go to that church but my parents insisted I go to theirs instead. It fit in with the family image better." Beatrice sighed.
There was more to it than what she had said, but as Beatrice herself had once said, there's always more.
The topic of their families were painful to both of them for their own reasons and those stories of their pasts were rarely freely offered.
It was easier to focus on the present, on what they had together and to hope for a future.
Ava reached for Beatrice's hand and stroked her thumb along Beatrice's knuckles.
Beatrice smiled down at their hands. "Looking back, I see clearer how my Grandmother and my parents interpreted the bible and its teachings differently."
"How so?" Ava prompted gently, she linked their fingers together.
"I… I've already told you how everyone in my life tried to make me different, but she…" Beatrice sighed. "She didn't. She just tried to teach me how to be a good person."
Ava shifted closer to wrap an arm around Beatrice's chest and pull her backwards into a hug.
"Well, she did a good job at getting you on that path." Ava rested her chin on Beatrice's shoulder. "You're more than just a good person. Everything about you is beautiful."
Beatrice twists slightly, enough for her to press her lips to Ava's and continuing to turn until she was facing Ava.
"What was that for?" Ava asked.
She must have some kind of dopey expression on her face because Beatrice was smiling now, brighter than she had all day.
"You make me feel beautiful."
This time it was Ava's turn to smile as she reached up to cup Beatrice's face.
"Oh, I'll show you just how beautiful I think you are."
She leaned in for another kiss as she curled an arm around Beatrice's shoulders. It was easy to tug Beatrice until Ava could ease her down to the bed and settle her weight across Beatrice.
Kissing Beatrice had very quickly become Ava's favourite thing and it never spoke truer than in these uninterrupted moments, as rare as they sometimes felt.
It was the quiet sighs between them, Beatrice's flushed cheeks, the hands that would get tangled in Ava's hair and pull her closer or the breathy gasp that would leave Ava's chest burning whenever she would flick her tongue against Beatrice's lips.
These were the moments Ava would wish could last forever, tangled up in her girlfriend and trading lazy kisses until the world around them faded into a blissful white noise.
One thing Ava sometimes forgets is that Beatrice is a trained warrior.
A trained warrior who, when startled, absolutely will react instinctively.
So when her door slammed open, Ava barely had time to register that sound before Beatrice's room began to spin as she was unceremoniously thrown from the bed and landed heavily on her back.
"Of course you'd be in here." Lilith said from the doorway, a hand covering her eyes.
"Jesus, knock much?" Ava replied as she sat up and glanced over to see Beatrice also sitting up to look apologetically at her.
"Don't bring Jesus into this, you were supposed to be in the library twenty minutes ago."
"She'll be there in five, sorry Lilith." Beatrice replied. She climbed off of the bed and placed a hand on Ava's back.
Lilith walked away, grumbling under her breath as she did. Ava groaned and dropped her head against Beatrice's chest.
"I'm sorry I threw you, are you okay?" Beatrice asked.
"I'm fine, don't worry about it." Ava replied. "Are locks just like, not allowed here?"
"There isn't really a need for them." Beatrice replied. "There's nothing that we'd do behind closed doors that would require…"
Ava couldn't help but grin as Beatrice trailed off, her cheeks slowly turning redder.
"I see where your mind is going and first of all, big fan." She paused to press a kiss to the corner of Beatrice's lips. "But maybe we'll start with a knock before entering rule."
"Noted." Beatrice cleared her throat and pushed gently at Ava's shoulder. "Now you better go before Lilith comes back and drags you away."
"Well we wouldn't want that would we?"
--
"What were you thinking?" Ava asked quietly, it was getting harder to keep the worry out of her voice.
Beatrice looked up at her, her expression painfully apologetic.
Ava finished gathering supplies set them beside Beatrice.
"We need to stop the bleeding and bandage you up." Ava said. "Do you want me to leave?"
Beatrice shook her head. "I may need your help."
"Okay." Ava took a steadying breath. "Okay."
She tried to will her own hands to stop shaking as she helped Beatrice shed the top half of her tattered clothes until Beatrice was stripped down to her bra and Ava could finally see the extent of the damage.
The cut along her side looked painful and Ava's chest ached at the scattering of bruises already forming across her body.
Beatrice, ever the professional was using the bathroom mirror to inspect it carefully.
"It doesn't need stitches." She decided. "Disinfect, gauze and bandage."
When Ava didn't move or respond, she felt Beatrice's hand close around hers.
"Ava, Ava. Look at me."
Ava glanced up to meet Beatrice's gaze and for a moment it felt as though her entire body froze under the steady intensity she was met with.
"You can do this, it's okay."
Ava was relieved she didn't have to try and give Beatrice stitches. That was something she absolutely had no place doing.
Besides, hearing Beatrice's pained hiss as Ava set about cleaning the cut was already more than she could handle.
It didn't help that Ava could still picture the attack that had led them to this moment clearly.
Beatrice jumping in front of her and being flung aside by the tarask like she weighed nothing.
"Can you hold this?" Ava asked as she pressed the gauze down.
She waited until Beatrice's hand covered it and reached for the bandage and silence fell upon them as she fixed it all in place.
"I'm sorry." Beatrice said after a few minutes. "Not… Not for what I did, but for worrying you."
Ava shifted upright to press her thumb to Beatrice's bottom lip, careful to avoid the cut in the corner.
"I can heal Bea, I would have been fine."
"You can heal but you're not invulnerable Ava. You could have died."
Ava glanced down at the cross around Beatrice's neck, gaze lingering for a moment too long at the specks of blood across the metal.
"So could you." Ava whispered.
Beatrice's eyes were soft as she reached out to stroke Ava's cheek. "That's part of the mission. I have to protect you."
"Fuck the mission." Ava cupped Beatrice's face with both of her hands. "Please, Bea. I know you've always been for the mission but one day it'll be over and when it is, I want to experience life with you. I want a future with you."
"Ava…"
Ava had never been a particularly religious person, but here? Kneeling in front of Beatrice and begging for her to stop being so damn self sacrificing? It felt like the closest thing to a prayer that Ava had ever experienced.
"I'm in love with you Bea, and I'll be damned if I lose you before we have a chance to live."
Beatrice blinked, a single tear falling as she held Ava's gaze.
"You love me?"
Ava pressed a kiss to Beatrice's forehead. "I love you."
"I… I love you too." Beatrice whispered. "I don't want to lose you either."
Ava chose to pepper Beatrice's face with kisses, each more gentle than the last until she finally reached Beatrice's lips, this kiss so gentle it was barely a brush of their lips.
"Will you stay with me tonight?" Ava asked.
Beatrice nodded and Ava was quick to help clean the blood from her skin and dig out some clothes for Beatrice to sleep in.
When they were finally settled beside each other in the dark, Beatrice spoke.
"Can you say it again?" She asked, barely a whisper in the silence.
Ava shifted closer. "I love you."
She'd say it until her final breath.
--
In hindsight, Ava probably should have been suspicious when Mary, Camila and Lilith told them about a possession at a surprisingly nice hotel in the city.
She absolutely should have been suspicious when, upon getting to the hotel, Camila dropped a key in Beatrice's hand and told her and Ava to head up with their overnight bags.
"What about you guys?" Ava asked.
Mary shrugged. "We'll meet you up there, we're gonna check the perimeter first."
They rode the elevator up to the seventh floor in silence, Ava watching in amusement as Beatrice fidgeted with the sleeves of her flannel.
"Something doesn't add up." Beatrice said as the doors opened.
"What do you mean?"
Beatrice shrugged. "I just can't shake the feeling that there's something they're not telling us."
Ava hummed and reached for Beatrice's hand as they made their way down the hall. When they finally reached their room and let themselves in they were greeted with a queen size bed and what was definitely the fanciest room Ava had ever seen.
"Holy shit, Bea, look at this!" Ava dropped her bag and threw herself onto the bed and groaned. "This is the best."
When she sat up to grin at her girlfriend, Ava expected to be met with gentle amusement or even the neutral business ready expression Beatrice would fall into.
She definitely didn't expect to be met with a mild panicked expression.
"Bea?"
Beatrice pulled out her phone and after a few presses of her thumb, held the phone to her ear.
"There isn't a mission, is there?" She said.
Ava could only sit on the bed, utterly confused as Beatrice paced the length of the room and pinched the bridge of her nose.
"I can't believe you guys. We're coming down." She span on the spot and caught Ava's gaze. "What do you mean you've already left?"
Ava hopped off of the bed and made her way over to Beatrice.
"What's going on?" Ava asked.
Beatrice shook her head as her cheeks turned pink.
Oh.
Ava held a hand out and made a grabby hand until Beatrice relented and handed her the phone.
"What the fuck?" Ava hissed into the phone.
"Weird way to say thanks." Mary replied dryly.
"Thanks for what? Abandoning us at a hotel?"
"I'll pick you up in the morning."
"If my girlfriend doesn't kick your ass, I will." Ava said.
Mary laughed for a solid minute before she hung up. Ava stared at the phone for a moment before she handed it back to Beatrice.
"You okay?" Ava asked.
"I can't believe they were all in on this." Beatrice replied.
Ava had to admit, it was equal parts weird and touching that their friends were apparently invested enough in their relationship to go to the effort of getting them a hotel room and then leaving them there.
And judging from Beatrice's expression, she was definitely focusing more on the weird side of it.
"Hey," Ava caught Beatrice's hand. "you okay?"
Beatrice let out a breath and nodded. "I'm not sure what to make of this."
"I get it, strange but thoughtful gesture on their part."
Beatrice nodded in agreement.
"But hey, we can do whatever. We can order room service and hang out or we can say fuck this -".
"Language."
"Sorry. We can say forget this and get a cab back home or something."
Beatrice looked uncharacteristically embarrassed as she paced the room.
"This is my fault."
"Okay one, no blame. Two, what do you mean?"
As cute as Beatrice was when she blushed, Ava still felt very confused and really wanted to know what was going on.
"I went to Mary a couple of days ago…" Beatrice began, looking anywhere but Ava's direction. "I asked how her and Shannon navigated the whole… Privacy situation."
Oh.
"I definitely didn't think she'd act on it so soon, I should have spoken to you about this and your feelings about it beforehand." Beatrice turned to meet Ava's gaze. "I'm sorry."
"You don't have anything to be sorry for." Ava replied. "Besides, no time like the present to talk about it, if you're ready to?"
Beatrice gestured to the bed and the two moved over to sit beside each other.
"It's been… On my mind for a little while now. More so since that encounter with the tarask." Beatrice began.
The night they said 'I love you' for the first time, then.
"I went to Mary because while she never took the vows, Shannon did and I had to know how she balanced her feelings with her vows."
"Did you get your answer?" Ava asked.
"I did, and… Well, the answer was something that my Grandmother would tell me."
"Oh?"
Beatrice turned to cup Ava's cheek. "God is love."
Oh.
"And I want to make love to you."
Oh.
Ava had been expecting some variation on those words, but to actually hear them spoken? The butterflies in her stomach went haywire.
"Holy shit Bea, you know how to leave a girl speechless." Ava replied.
"Was that too forward?" Beatrice frowned. "I'm-"
Ava cut her off with a kiss.
"If the next word out your mouth was going to be sorry, you absolutely had nothing to be sorry for. Me speechless? Good reaction." Ava explained. "And for the record? I want to make love to you too. When you're ready though. Doesn't matter if that's tonight, next week or next year."
"What if I said I was ready. Tonight?" Beatrice asked.
"Well, first I'd ask if you were sure." Ava said. "But… Okay."
This time it was Beatrice who leant in for a kiss, lingering for a moment to suck on Ava's lower lip.
(Ava was pretty sure she was ready to melt through the bed.)
"I'm sure if you're sure. But I think we should check out that restaurant first."
"Full wine and dine experience?" Ava asked with a smile. "Minus the wine, of course."
"Precisely."
After what was probably the best meal Ava had ever eaten, she found herself back in the elevator on the journey back up to their room.
While last time the silence had been companionable, this time there was an energy buzzing between them. A steady build of what the night held for them both.
Beatrice entered the room first and Ava barely had time to close the door behind her before Beatrice was crowding her against the door and kissing her soundly.
Speechless wasn't often a term used in relation to Ava, but it was quickly becoming one of Beatrice's special abilities.
Beatrice leant back and opened her eyes to regard Ava. She reached up and brushed her thumb along Ava's lip and sighed.
"Beautiful."
The words were so quiet Ava wasn't sure she'd heard correctly. It was also a little harder to breathe with Beatrice's finger on her mouth.
"...Bea?"
Beatrice's hand moved to cup Ava's chin and tilt her head up, their eyes connected.
"You're beautiful."
Ava's hands settled on Beatrice's hips and pulled her closer, angled her head just enough for another kiss.
"Bea," Ava breathed out against her lips. "Are you sure?"
Beatrice drew her in for another long kiss.
"I've never been more sure of anything."
Beatrice's hands trailed down to the bottom of Ava's shirt, fingers curling around the hem as she looked at Ava.
Ava smiled and lifted her arms for Beatrice to pull her shirt off.
Beatrice's gaze trailed over her body and it was quiet enough that Ava could hear her suck in a breath.
Ava set her hands on Beatrice's shoulders and pushed gently until Beatrice started to walk backwards until the back of her knees hit the bed and dropped to sit on the edge of the bed.
She dropped onto Beatrice's lap, smiling as Beatrice's hands settled on her thighs.
"Okay so far?" Ava asked.
"Yes." Beatrice replied. "You?"
Ava leant forward to brush her lips against Beatrice's ear as her fingers found the buttons of Beatrice's shirt.
"Absolutely." Ava whispered.
She pushed the shirt off of Beatrice's shoulders and shifted to pepper kisses along Beatrice's neck and shoulders.
"Ava…" Beatrice's voice had taken on the slightest edge of pleading.
"I love you." Ava said. "Let me show you how much."
Worship would take on a new form tonight.
--
Ava opened her eyes to the sensation of fingers combing through her hair and the sound of Beatrice's heartbeat in her ear.
"You awake?" Beatrice asked quietly.
Ava hummed and turned her head to drop a kiss to Beatrice's chest.
"Have you been up long?" Ava asked as she pushed herself up and adjusted herself so that she could rest her chin on Beatrice's chest and meet her girlfriend's gaze.
"A while, I was thinking."
"About what?"
"What my family would think about this. But I… Pushed that aside for what my Grandmother would think." Beatrice smiled lovingly down at her. "I think she would have liked you."
There were definitely tears in Beatrice's eyes and Ava reached up to brush one away when it fell.
"You okay?" Ava asked.
"Better than okay." Beatrice replied. "God is love, remember?"
Ava dropped a kiss to the crucifix on Beatrice's neck.
"And I love you." Ava said.
Beatrice shifted them until they were lying side by side and reached up to unclasp the crucifix from her neck.
"What are you doing?" Ava asked.
Beatrice leant forward to kiss her and Ava could feel her hands slip around her neck, the cool metal against her chest.
"I want you to have it." Beatrice replied. "If you want it."
"Yes, definitely." Ava kissed her again. "But I get to give you the next piece of jewellery."
"Did you have something in mind?" Beatrice asked.
Ava smiled as she took hold of Beatrice's left hand and kissed her knuckles. "I was thinking of a ring?"