Chapter Text
🎵 Been dazed and confused for so long it’s not true
Wanted a woman, never bargained for you
“I still don't understand why you are insisting I go with you to this thing. It seems more like a “girls night out” kind of activity with all of your friends. Kinda weird to take your brother to a pole dance studio.”
Castiel watched through his passenger side window as Anna’s car navigated through the trendy East side of Austin, knowing too well that he wasn't cool enough for this neighborhood. It was a nice clear night to be out anyway; the air cold and fresh, but not too chilly. Despite only being one week into the new year, he hoped it meant a mild winter.
“First of all, Cassie, please stop with the air quotes. I’ve told you, for what seems like a million times, it's unnecessary. Not to mention weird,” Anna spat. “Second, I asked you to come with me because you need a night out. You're at that bookstore all day with no one to talk to except Gabriel. After you're done you go home, eat dinner alone, and read until you fall asleep. It’s about time you change it up a little.” “Also,” she added after a beat, “that was a very sexist remark about the pole studio being a girl’s night out activity. So, please, for just one night, relax a bit and have fun.”
“No one else was available to go with you tonight were they?” Castiel asked knowingly.
After a few seconds of silence and a side-eye directed towards her brother, Anna admitted, “No... but my point still stands. It will be fun, I promise. Pole studios are a really popular fitness alternative to gyms nowadays and my supervisor loved my idea about doing a feature for the Chronicle,” she concluded as the car came to a stop at a red light. She looked over at Castiel with that same pleading look she had perfected years ago when they were children, knowing it worked on Cas every time she wanted something.
“Uh-huh,” Castiel said, rolling his eyes and turning his head back toward the window.
Anna worked as a journalist for The Chronicle, a weekly print magazine that covered events, politics, and trends around Austin. Castiel was proud of his sister, even if he wasn’t proud of her ability to talk him into things he didn’t want to do.
A few minutes later, they pulled up to the studio, which was part of an older brick building, nestled in between a vintage clothing store and a funky looking coffee shop called The Last Drop. Studying the windows of the coffee shop, he spotted signs boasting they were open until midnight. At least he had a place to escape to if necessary. Too bad he didn’t think to sneak his book into the pocket of his coat.
Upon entering the studio, they found themselves in a small, empty reception area, complete with a desk holding a few different computer screens, a cordless phone, and what looked to be a logbook. There were a few worn wooden chairs lining the wall along the front. The walls held several bulletin boards that were covered in flyers advertising small businesses and local bands, as well as calendars showing upcoming class schedules for the studio. The lighting was low and warm and there was music coming from somewhere deeper in the building. A fuchsia curtain hung in the doorway beside the desk, obscuring the rest of the studio.
After a few seconds, that curtain was pulled open with a flourish by a petite but energetic redhead in a Star Wars T-shirt, jeans and red Converse.
“I thought I heard the door open,” she said to herself, walking over behind the desk. “Welcome to Showcase Night, guys! Are you friends or family of one of our performers tonight?,” she asked, looking between them expectantly.
“Um, not exactly. I’m Anna Novak,” she said gesturing to herself while offering her hand. “I work for the Chronicle. I think you and I talked on the phone last week about me coming in to watch the show and get some info for the piece I’m working on.”
“Oh! Yes, that was me! Oh, wow, okay, hi! I’m Charlie. I man the desk and manage everyone's schedules here,” she explained and looked over at Castiel with a smile. “And who’s this handsome fella?”
“Oh, this is my brother, Castiel. I hope it's okay that I brought someone else,” Anna said worriedly.
“Oh yeah, the more the merrier! Helps the students gain confidence. We’ve got dancers from all different skill levels doing something tonight,” Charlie said enthusiastically. “Go on back, grab a glass of wine, and find a spot on the floor along the brick wall with the rest of the guests. The show should be starting in about ten minutes.”
“Cool, thanks,” Anna said, turning and disappearing behind the fuchsia curtain.
Before Castiel could follow her, Charlie stopped him.
“You look really familiar. Where have I seen you?”
“Um,” he stuttered. “I-I’m not sure. I do own a bookstore on south Lamar. Angel’s Books? I don’t really go anywhere else, so that kind of has to be it,” he offered with a quiet self-deprecating laugh.
“Oh my god, you own Angel’s Books? I love that place! You’ve got a great YA section, and that guy running the cafe who thinks he’s really funny makes one hell of a honey latte,” she said with a smile.
“Yep, that’s my place. My brother Gabriel is the coffee and pastry guy. I’m just the quiet, unassuming bookworm. All I ever do is read, so the idea of owning a bookstore just made sense to me. That’s why Anna made me come with her tonight. Apparently, re-reading Harry Potter wasn't exciting to her. To be honest, this isn’t really my thing,” he said apologetically, hoping he hadn't just lost a frequent customer. He also wondered why the hell he just explained all of that to her.
“Oh, I totally get you,” Charlie said, shaking her head in agreement. “Back there isn’t my scene either. That’s why I just manage the books and schedules. Pamela is the owner of the place. You’ll see her back there. So, which book are you on?”
Caught off guard by the sudden subject change, Castiel stammered, “Oh! Uhm, Goblet of Fire. I just got past the dance.”
“Ugh, I love that part! The pining, the angst, the teenage drama! So good!” Charlie paused to put her hands on Castiel’s shoulders. “Dude. Did we just become best friends?”
Castiel laughed, “I guess we did. Sure,” he huffed in amusement. This chick was quirky.
“Sweet! Just fair warning, Dean is my other BFF, so you guys will have to share,” Charlie said with a smirk.
“That sounds fair,” Castiel said as he backed away toward the curtain. “Just remember though,” he said with a teasing smile. “I have the book discount.”
✵✵✵✵
A few minutes later Castiel found himself sitting on the aged hardwood floor with his back against an exposed brick wall. The room was on the narrow side but felt bigger due to a mirror running the entire length of the wall opposite him. Heavy fabric draped along the other two walls in shades of dark red, likely to aid in the acoustics of the open space. A plain door interrupted one of those walls, adorned with a simple sign requesting “Privacy Please”. The lights were dim and candlelight danced in the mirror, showing off the small table covered in wine bottles and snacks a few feet down from where Castiel sat. Incense was burning somewhere, a warm, woodsy scent filling the room, but not overpowering it. And of course, there were the poles. Eight shiny poles, evenly spaced, rising up from the floor all the way to the ceiling. Castiel had to admit, the room's atmosphere was warm. Inviting. Luxurious.
Next to him, his sister was lost in conversation with another woman about the newest restaurant opening downtown. Anna always knew about the newest and greatest and trendiest things about Austin and how to strike up conversation with anything that moved. It was her job to do so, and she was good at it. Castiel, unfortunately, was not, so he just sat and let his eyes wander.
Looking around, he had to admit that Anna was right. It wasn’t just a girl’s night out event. There were a few other men here tonight. Most of them were scattered along the wall, having quiet conversations with those around them. Castiel couldn’t help but notice two men standing near the “privacy” door talking with a barefoot woman with wild jet black hair, black yoga pants, and what was at some point an intact vintage ACDC t-shirt. Now it was sleeveless, low-cut, and cropped. One of the two men towered over his companions. He was dressed in normal street clothes and sipped red wine, occasionally bringing a hand up to bring a strand of his long hair back behind his ears.
The other man, Castiel noticed, was barefoot, and in a simple white t-shirt and jeans. Although the room was dim, it was clear that he had a strong jawline and broad shoulders that led to narrow hips and slightly bowed legs. He had shorter, dirty blonde hair and full lips. But what caught Castiel’s attention the most was his laugh. Whatever had been said caused his entire body to respond, sending his torso backward; his head was thrown back, eyes closed and ending with the most beautiful smile Castiel had ever seen.
The spell was broken when a hand waved emphatically in front of his face.
“Cassie! Earth to Castiel?”
“Hmm? What? Sorry, were you saying something?” Castiel looked to his left where Anna sat looking at him with wide, concerned eyes.
“I called your name like three times. You okay?”
“Yeah, sorry. I’m good, just daydreaming I guess. What’s up,” Castiel asked, glancing back toward the privacy door, only to find the previously occupied space empty.
“I was saying that the girl I was just talking to is Jess. She is here with her husband Sam to watch her brother in law perform tonight. All three of them are friends with Pam, the studio owner, and Jess thinks Pam would be cool with us staying for a while after the show so I can ask her a few questions. Would you be okay waiting for a bit so I could talk to her? I promise it won’t take very long.” Anna looked at him with puppy dog eyes. Like he wasn’t going to say yes anyway.
“Anna, of course we can stay for a while. Take all the time you need. If I get really bored, I can just head next door for a cup of coffee and wait for you there,” Castiel offered.
“Perfect! Thanks, Cassie!” Anna started rifling through her purse, likely looking for her notebook and a pen to prepare for her impromptu interview.
Castiel was distracted when he looked past Anna to see the very tall man from before attempting to fold himself into a sitting position on the floor. He wrapped his arm around the pretty girl Anna was just conversing with. His mind started connecting the dots after a few seconds. Was her brother in law the man with the beautiful smile? Interesting. All of a sudden, staying a little later didn’t seem so bad.
By the time he looked again, there were several women, all coming out through the privacy door. Castiel stopped counting after a dozen, watching as they all proceeded to sit along that shorter wall. They were all similarly dressed. Or undressed as it were. They all wore very small black hip-hugger shorts and black sports bras or fitted tank tops. Some were wearing very tall, platform high heels and some were barefoot. A few of them excitedly smiled and waved at friends or family. Some looked quite nervous and jittery, glancing around the space and taking in deep breaths in an attempt to calm themselves. Quite quickly, Castiel’s eyes landed on the beautiful man, who sat on the floor with his back against the wall, and his legs extended out in front of him. He seemed quite unfazed by his surroundings as he typed away on the phone in his hands. Of course, he chose that moment to look up, making direct eye contact with Castiel.
Not wanting to be caught staring, Castiel reacted quickly, looking down at the empty wine glass in his hands. He took a deep breath and settled himself. Chancing another glance, he was relieved the man had returned his attention to his phone, but Castiel noticed, there was now a hint of a smile on his unfairly attractive face. Resolving himself to quit gawking like a creep, Castiel set his glass on the floor, and nearly knocked it over, startled by the presence of the front desk redhead quietly sitting next to him, scrolling through her phone.
“Oh my god! How long have you been sitting here,” he asked laughingly, pleased to see his new friend again so soon.
“A few minutes, actually,” Charlie replied, not looking up from her phone. “It’s okay. You seemed…distracted,” she added with a smirk. “Is it cool if I sit with you for the show? It's just about to start.”
“Well, yeah, of course, I don’t mind,” Castiel answered graciously.
“Cool,” Charlie said as she put her phone in her pocket and looked up. “You were zoning out pretty hard there with Pam and the guys a minute ago.” Charlie turned her head towards him and lowered her voice. “Just a heads up though, Pam is super hot, but she doesn’t really do the whole dating thing. She’s basically married to this place anyway.”
“Oh. No, that’s…that's okay. I mean Pam is beautiful. But, um. She’s not exactly my type, if you get what I mean,” Castiel whispered.
Charlie stared at him for a moment, a smile slowly spreading across her face, as if she’d just learned some valuable information.
“I see. Well. Good to know,” she said cryptically.
Before their conversation could continue, their attention was directed to the clinking of a glass and then at Pam, who now stood in the middle of the room, waiting for the room to quiet down.
“Hello, friends and welcome to Showcase Night here at Lazarus Pole Studio!”
This was met with enthusiastic cheers from the small audience. Pam waited for a beat and then continued.
“It's so great to see so many friends here tonight to support our student dancers. Everyone has been working their asses off to get ready for tonight, so please, show them plenty of love. Our student showcase will start with our beginner level one class and continue on with our more advanced classes. As always, the showcase marks the end of an eight-week class series, allowing our students the opportunity to show off their new skills before they move forward on to the next level if they choose. Which means that a new level one class will be starting next week. So, if any of you like what you see tonight and want to give it a go, please see Charlie later tonight with any questions and to grab yourself a spot in class. But, first, please give a round of applause and welcome our Level One class.”
The audience cheered and clapped as Pam walked off to the side toward her students. Castiel watched as six women, all different ages and sizes, took their places at each pole. A moment later, the lights were dimmed a bit more, and a heavy beat filled the room.
✵✵✵✵
Four group routines later, Castiel had to admit the whole thing was pretty cool. There was a lot of work and physical demand that went into this kind of activity, which obviously increased with the higher-level classes. It was definitely sexy, and somehow, even with the stripper heels, classy...graceful. Each routine was split between different tricks and spins on the pole as well as floor work. The one thought that stayed in Castiel’s mind was that it looked...fun.
“Well? What do you think so far,” Charlie whispered, leaning towards him as the dancers made their way back to the wall.
“Um…,’ Castiel paused, thinking of an appropriate answer. “It’s kind of awesome, honestly” he said with a grin, still staring ahead at the rows of shiny poles.
“Just wait. The next few should be even better. Dean and Lisa are next. They’re getting ready for their first competition in a few months.”
“There’s a competition for pole dancing?”
“Hmmm? Oh, yeah,” she continued. “All the way from regionals to international levels even. Obviously most people just do pole for fun, or as a cool workout. But for those who compete, it’s a big deal. Plus, there’s a pretty nice check waiting for the first place winner at nationals.”
Somewhere in Castiel’s brain, he knew he should still be paying attention to Charlie. He felt rude for losing focus on their conversation. On the other hand, who could blame him? The small audience was cheering on and clapping for The Man With the Beautiful Smile...Dean...who walked to the center of the dance area, followed by a beautiful woman with long dark hair and olive skin. She wore a strappy red sports top, tiny black hip-huggers, and tall red platform heels. Without a doubt, she was stunning. But that wasn’t what held Castiel’s eye. Dean had removed his plain white t-shirt, leaving only well-worn jeans that were frayed at the hem and hung perfectly over his hips. His chest and back appeared well-toned but he retained a bit of softness in his belly.
There were a few friendly whistles and catcalls coming from the couple he now knew were Dean’s family. Dean shook his head as he waited for the music to start, keeping his eyes cast downward, but smiling almost shyly at the attention.
Castiel recognized the song. He was pretty confident it was a part of the Fifty Shades soundtrack (yes, he’d seen it...Gabriel insisted). Dean and Lisa’s movements told a story as they orbited around each other on the floor and then as they spun together on a shared pole. It was clear that Lisa was meant to be the main focus, with Dean helping to show off his partner. Their training was apparent; they worked together beautifully.
When the song came to an end, the crowd whooped and cheered. Dean and Lisa gave an appreciative little bow together. As Lisa started walking off, Dean’s eyes searched the crowd before landing on Castiel. Dean’s mouth barely hinted at a smile as he held his gaze and absentmindedly (on purpose?) ran his tongue over his bottom lip. It was probably only a few seconds, but it felt like time came to a halt. Castiel was afraid to move. He was sure if he did, Dean would disappear and the spell would be broken.
All too soon, Dean looked away and walked off toward the wall of dancers. Castiel turned to his sister, all but forgotten until now.
“It’s pretty cool,” he commented, trying to sound casual.
“Right?! See, I told you it would be fun! I’m so glad you came with me Cassie,” she said sweetly.
Castiel rolled his eyes and smiled at his sister. “Yes, you were right. Next time you offer to bring me along for an article you’re working on, maybe I won’t be so…,” Castiel as interrupted by another round of cheers, this time even louder and more spirited. When he found the cause, his brain short-circuited. Dean was walking back toward the poles. The difference being...he had removed his jeans. He was down to nothing but a really small pair of black shorts that only covered the bare necessities and hugged his little bubble butt amazingly well.
Castiel suddenly felt like a ridiculous cartoon version of himself. It was an internal battle to keep his eyes from bugging out in the shapes of hearts and if he wasn’t careful, his tongue would actually unroll from his mouth and hit the floor. Next to him, he heard Charlie giggle quietly and when he forced himself to turn his gaze away from Dean, she was looking at him. She tilted her head and raised an accusatory eyebrow. Perhaps his poker face needed some work.
“You should probably close your mouth before you actually start drooling,” she teased.
“I...just...wasn’t expecting to see all of...that,” he whispered, waving his hands in Dean’s general direction.
Offering an eye roll and a sympathetic smile, Charlie continued quietly. “Well, since it’s pole, that right there is pretty standard for dudes. Dean doesn’t typically wear the jeans from before, but Lisa had that whole Fifty Shades theme idea going on. Which isn’t really Dean’s style, if I’m being honest,” she added.
Castiel let that sink in before, once again, letting himself be pulled in by Dean’s enchantment.
Dean leaned back against a pole, closed his eyes, and parted his full lips. He slowly rolled his head from side to side and took in a breath. The music opened with a man singing about being dazed and confused and flowed into a raw, unearthly, almost psychedelic melody. Dean pivoted where he stood, pushed off the ground, and grabbed the pole. In what looked like an effortless move, he pulled himself up into a neverending spin, hugging the pole with his thighs, releasing his hands, and slowly contorting his upper body backward. He reached up again and began climbing the pole. Every muscle in his body engaged when he brought his legs up over his head, wrapped one around the pole, and extended the other straight out in a half split. From there he moved seamlessly from one move to another, using his body to gain momentum in his spins as the song transitioned into a chaotic mix of guitar riffs and haunting wails.
One thing was clear. Charlie had been correct in her assessment. The routine he had seen with Lisa was an act. Brilliant, yes. But, this wasn't any flashy performance; Dean was in his own little world. And Castiel felt like a voyeur, catching a glimpse of something private.
He had never seen anything like it before. Like him.
The light.
The shadows.
Playing over every line of his body as he moved.
The grace of his movements as he flowed through his routine was only coupled by the sheer power of his body, as every muscle flexed when he gripped the pole to keep him in the air.
It was like watching cold, clear water flow over rocks for a thousand years until they're worn smooth. A millennium of time and energy.
Dean was the result.
Dean was a tidal wave and Castiel was drowning in it.
✵✵✵✵
Half an hour later, Castiel stood near the exit, waiting for Anna to finish up her conversation with Pamela. Most of the crowd left soon after Dean’s solo and Pamela’s closing comments of thanks and a reminder to check in with Charlie on the upcoming class schedule. Charlie herself was at the front desk, signing up a few people. Castiel had to admit, the showcase night was good for bringing in new students. There was a tiny space in the back of his mind that wondered if one of those new students should be him. It had been a long time since he started a new hobby of his own choosing. Studying aikido with his brothers had been his father's insistence since they were children and Castiel had long ago grown bored of it.
He was brought back to the present, and possibly given a small heart attack when a husky voice approached him from behind.
“What’d you think of the show?”
Castiel’s not sure how long he actually stood there, getting his first look at Dean from only a few feet away. Now that the main overhead lights were on in the building, he could see details that were previously hidden in the dimness. Specifically, mossy green eyes and a galaxy of freckles sprinkled across Dean’s nose and along his cheekbones. His mouth pulled up on one side in a charming grin that showed off full pouty lips. Luckily for Castiel’s sanity, he was dressed again, back in the low slung ratty jeans and a white t-shirt. He was still delectable, but at least he wasn’t nearly naked. A few seconds (or hours, he really couldn’t be sure) later, his brain kindly reminded him that he had been asked a question.
“Ummm,” he answered elegantly.
Castiel was actually briefly grateful when Dean interrupted and rambled on. “I met your sister over there talking to Pam. She said she’s writing an article for the studio. That’s pretty awesome, Pam deserves to show this place off a little.” Dean paused for a moment, never breaking eye contact, but looking a bit lost at the same time, as if he was trying to get his thoughts in order. “I’m Dean,’ he said a bit softer after taking a breath, his smile dropping a bit but not completely.
“Castiel.”
“Castiel,” Dean repeated slowly, testing each syllable like he was swirling the word around in his mouth to get a taste for it. It made Castiel shiver. “Pretty unique name. How did you get that one but your sister’s just Anna?” Dean asked with a raised brow.
“Anna is short for Anael. We were all named for angels,” Castiel replied, pausing for a moment before explaining. “Our parents were very religious.”
“Yeah! Sounds like it. How many angels are we talking about here?”
“Five. There’s Anna and me, and our brothers, Gabriel, Michael, and of course, Lucifer. He really got the short straw on that one,” Castiel said with a straight face.
Dean’s face lit up and he threw his head backward as he burst out laughing.
Oh.
He made Dean laugh. Castiel could feel his brain filing this memory away as one of the proudest moments of his life. He briefly wondered how quickly he could pull his phone out to record it. In slow motion. He studied Dean with wide eyes before he started giggling as well; Dean’s laugh was contagious.
“I’m sorry, dude. I don't mean to laugh. Really. That had to be hard growing up with a name like Lucifer,” Dean offered once he calmed down a bit.
“Yeah. Probably explains why he’s such an asshole now,” Castiel added.
Dean giggled again, softer, but no less beautiful. Castiel had never considered himself to be a funny person.
There was a lull in the conversation. But it wasn’t awkward. With the way their eyes traveled, stopping to memorize the shape of Dean’s bottom lip, or the dip of Castiel’s clavicle where it peaked out from under his button-up, it seemed like words were being spoken without having to say them out loud.
That is until they were interrupted.
“What’s up bitches?” Charlie said, popping up beside them, giving each of them a shit-eating grin.
“Uh, I was just asking Castiel here if he liked the show,” Dean said.
“Oh. Great. Yeah, Castiel. What did you think of the show?” Charlie asked, tilting her head slightly and bouncing her eyebrows.
“Ummm,” he stammered again. “It was pretty cool. Not quite what I expected,” Castiel said, trying to sound casual.
“Just pretty cool? Dude, you looked kinda hypnotized for a bit there. I’d hate to see your face when you really like something then,” Charlie said suggestively, tilting her head even more towards Dean’s direction.
Before he could answer, Charlie turned toward Dean and changed the subject.
“Dean, I’m sorry to inform you that Castiel here is going to be my other BFF from now on. He owns the bookstore over on Lamar and has promised me a BFF discount,” she said with pride.
Castiel looked at her confused. “Did I, though?”
“You did,” she said sweetly, not missing a beat.
He couldn’t help but chuckle, when they were approached by Anna, followed by Pamela.
“Cassie! Guess what? I’m going to sign up for the beginner’s class!” Anna bounced up and down excitedly.
“Oh! Well...great! I think that sounds like a fun idea!” Castiel tried to sound sincere. He knew his sister. She would go to two classes. Maybe three, before losing interest.
“Yeah, I can’t wait! You and the guys have always done your karate thing. Maybe this will be my thing,” Anna said with a hopeful smile. Over the years, Anna had many “things”. There were art classes, cooking workshops, and even a short-lived membership in an ax-throwing league last year. Nothing stuck. Even as a child, she managed to convince their father to let her quit the martial arts training her brothers had to attend.
“You do karate?” Dean asked curiously.
“Oh, well I did as a child. Then when I was about sixteen, I started training in aikido. It’s similar to karate but different techniques in fighting styles,” Castiel answered him. “I haven’t really practiced in about two years though,” Castiel looked down at the floor, hoping no one would make him explain further. He was saved by his sister.
“Anyway, we should get going,” Anna suggested. “I’ve got a staff meeting at 8 tomorrow morning, and I want to organize my notes for the article.”
“Yeah, sure,” Castiel said, casting a glance at Dean, who looked almost...disappointed?
They said their goodbyes and made their way to the door. Anna was halfway to her car and Cas had just stepped out of the building when Dean stopped him.
“Hey, you know, you should think about trying it out too. Just, ya know, if you're looking for a new thing.” Dean smiled before walking back into the studio.
Cas stood on the sidewalk, staring at the closed door, for a full minute before Anna’s car horn jolted him back to his senses.
He was so fucked.