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To live a normal life? How unusual!

Summary:

A crossover fic of 09Pyros_09Hydros' fic "To live a normal life? How preosterous!" and the webcomic vast error!
They had much to do, now that she was A, a human. B, a superhero. And C, Really fucking concerned about what the actual fuck is going on here.

Notes:

A few things to know if you haven’t read how preposterous:
•Both the VE cast and HS cast have been reincarnated into a humanstuck au
•The hiveswap trolls are still trolls but they are from beforus and spying on the planet
•John, Jake, Dave, Roxy, and Karkat have their memories from the game. They are superheroes called “the aspects“
•Rifts are when a giant tear in the sky brings in Enemies from the game onto earth.
•the aspects fight the Enemies as superheroes
•in the Original Fic it is implied that to regain ones memories you must be in serious danger. So that is what I’m using as a way to ‘wake up’ certain characters
•there is slight mention of injury for characters because of this
•that’s all! Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 1: and then I woke up at home

Chapter Text

They had done, they had healed their universe. Hugs shared all around, The all mother satisfied, the naught father momentarily subdued. There was still much healing left of course. The depths were still the depths, the lusii still poisoned with the muck of trash and grime. Yes there was work, but there was still success to celebrate! Ellsee just needs to g̮̰͎͕̣ͣ̐ͤ̒ͦr̐̄ͥab̺̫̳̯͉͚̏̾̄ͭͯͫ ͦͧ͂tͦȟ̦͎̤̗̤̮̏̃̑̔͋͟ę̫̟ͦ̓ d̟̋o͎͎̼̮͚̖õ̴͎̮̥͑̋r̫͙͉̤̈ͫͥ̚ ͂k͉n̐ͪ̓͞ơ͔͍̫̏ͯ̅b̺̼̥͚̯̜̑̽͐̂͛̋…

 

_______

 

Hope was dying, He was dying, God he was dying. And what was he doing? Saving lives. Fuck. Well it sure as hell aint gonna be just. He asks for blood to lean down. 

‘What?! WHY?! I-i DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!’ Blood screams. Everyone can hear it. But he leans down. 

‘Ka-ayden,’ he sutter out. 

‘What Ross? WHAT?!’ the pain he is put in at this moment is excurciating, his final wors.

‘I miss you’ and he is gone

 

He closes out of the word document, “my god Ellsee, Stop making me beta read your fanfiction, and Ross ? Really?” Arcjec turns to look at his sister from across the room. “There's so many goddamn spelling errors, you're writing this on word for christ's sake!” Ellsee raises her shoulders in an awkward shrug.

She hastily pointed to the clock. “Wellllllll, It's 4am Arcjec! I'm not at my best! Don’t judge!” She crosses her arms.

“Then why are you writing it, at 4am!” He pointed out aggressively.

“Well why are you awake at 4am! Huh!”

He glares at her and sighs “Fix your fucking spelling errors then i’ll beta again” he gets up from his seat and heads back to his room. 

Ellsee sits down at her computer. and puts on a playlist. It's not unusual to be loved by anyone. It's not unusual to have fun with anyone!”

They love this song.

_______

EO: New ChaptΣr up!

UK: >([Jokes on u i already uploaded last nig#t]

EO: Goddammit! >:(

DQ: Stop*using*the*emergency*memo*for*fanfic*updates*please

UK: >([No]

EO: AgrΣΣd

AH: XDXD i wish nothing but griebous harm on the both of you XDXD

UK: >([griebous]

EO: griΣbous

WA: griebous-

FF: g griebous 

SA: (griebous)

DQ: not*too*you

PE: ~griebous

AH: XDXD You’re supposed to be on my side XDXD

PD: griebous

AH: XDXD I was wondering when you’d show up XDXD

ME: gahsdgvurefseirkuawe8ufihv

ME: dklwerjbuvwaqwesrswxd854516582

ME: 8954utqugvsndmwied

ME: R.o.gi

ME: again

EO: say no morΣ

UK: >([U need to keep ur cat under control]

UK: >([My salamander never does this]

FF: g get a furby

FF: t they aren't as t tame, but t they definitely d don’t get onto the k keyboard as often

WA: or a dog-

WA: woof-

SA: (cooperi rarely gets on my keyboard, but i would recommend getting a fish)

GS: Would not recommend. Especially goldfish.

SA: (what about goldfish?)

GS: Nobody ever takes good care of them! They can live well over a decade yet everyone gives them poor living conditions!

GS: I have a Text post about it on my tumblr.

FF: I f fry my fish with m malice

GS: Blocked and reported.

WA: do wolves eat fish?-

GS: They better not.

UK: >([w#at u gonna do if t#ey do #u# merman?]

GS: Spray bottle.

GS: Bought one a few weeks ago.

DQ: can*we*please*use*literally*any*of*the*other*memos?

DQ: Do*we*want*a*repeat*of*the*alligator*incident?

UK: >([Absolutely, Alligator fig#t got me so many views] 

GD: Do you think murrit is cold he/\rted enough to count /\s a liz/\rd? ///

GD: Bec/\use I might just fight a reptile /\g/\in ///

UK: >([Love u 2]

EO: Murrit i rΣad your chaptΣr and it sucks ass

UK: >([i am #aving a moment #ere]

UK: >([I’m gonna read ur c#hapter real quick]

[UK] is an idle chum!

WA: i saw some cute dogs today-

WA: didn’t get to take any pictures though-

SA: (i have some pictures of crows this morning)

PD: I would have pictures, but

PD: Lefty got out into the woods again!

WA: You need help finding em?-

PD: no i think i see them right now! (|:D

WA: is that why I the ground shaking?-

GD: No, I feel it to ///

FF: oh d don’t tell me

ME: Eye Believe it’s a rift

WA: ALREADY????????-

FF: c called it

PD: le sigh

DQ: everyone*get*to*the*safety*zones!

DQ: I*need*to*do*a*role*call!

DQ: @everyone

PO: ~I'm in +he safe zone

WA: on my way-

PD: i see it just ahead!

AH: XDXD i don't know where ellsee is XDXD

AH: XDXD But i'm heading over there XDXD

EO: also on my way

AH: XDXD thank god XDXD

GD: im gr/\bbing murrit /\nd jentha is with me ///

SA: (i'm with albion at the moment)

FF: im w with dismas

ME: eye am currently far away fr.o.m the rift s.o. I am safe.

GS: I'm also far away. I’m currently working at the aquarium.

DQ: have*you*found*Murrit*yet?

GD: no

FF: N not yet

[UK] is no longer idle!

UK: >([Ellsee ur fic sucked even more then mine w#at u on]

DQ: where*are*you

UK: >([at my #ouse, why tho?]

ME: L.o..o.k at the @s

UK: >([aw fuck! Again?]

GD: yes ///

GD: now get your /\ss to /\ s/\fe zone ///

UK: >([Roger t#at]

_______

 

The past few months had been a shock to everyone. It was a fever dream barely seeded in reality. Because the reality of the situation seemed more like a show, a book, a story that you wrote in 6th grade. Anything but real. The upheaval of everything, the know reality of comparison was completely shot in less then the half a minute needed to upload a picture to the internet. It had happened suddenly. With no possible warning. Creatures. Monsters coming through rifts. Short horned monsters dressed like a bad renfair. Tall ones that could crush a house. Long ones that sneaked by and cause damage whether they walked. And the most impossible of it all was the response.

Heroes. Dressed in pajama like outfits with masks covering their faces. They flew into action almost immediately. A boy dressed in light blues taking a colorful hammer to completely destroy large monster. One dressed in dark red taking handheld sickles and decapitating multiple monsters at once. Another dressed in bright red, carrying a sword that would go from broken to unbroken in a matter of an instance, easily cutting the perceived foes in half. A girl in dark blue, bringing bright green cubes into existence, manipulating them to take whatever form she wished in order to practically shatter the enemy in half. Although that was not her only weapon. And finally, A boy in white and yellow. A faint british accent unlike the other fours more american tones. He seemed the most ambiguous in power. More often then not merely shooting the monsters with dual flintlocks pistols. But it got the job done.

They were called the aspects. Breath, possessing power over the winds itself. Blood, capable of manipulating the metal in his own blood to become weapons or anything other metallic objects he desired. Time, He was able to send copies of himself through time. An awestanding power, if it were not for the oh so briefly mentioned limits. Void, She could summon far more then cubes according to the others. Though it was rarely used, most of the time it would be pumpkins for all things. But when used to its fullest extent, there truly was no limit. And Hope, His powers unknown to most at the time, But when a certain incident occured he showed power unlike any other, a small nuclear bomb in the form of a teenager.

The Aspects had talked and explained the best they could, while still keeping secrets. The monsters were called underlings, there were many types with many abilities. Always avoid the flashing green ones they warned. They gave little explanation on what they were or how it happened. Only vague mentions of trials to achieve power, friends of other aspects lost. A price to pay. 

The reality of the situation was shit. In arcjec’s opinion. The aspects were both loved and hated for a variety of reasons, loved for not leaving everyone to die and suffer at the hands of the underlings (and void’s meme account). Hated for not dealing with the root issue, or straight up accusing them of causing it. He personally didn’t think they were the cause, of course not. But he didn’t 100% trust them either. He didn’t need to explain himself. 

He headed towards the ‘safe zone’. Areas that were established to be heavily protected whenever a rift opened up and decided to ruin everyone's day and tomorrow. He quickly jogged towards the safe zone, conserving energy. He was on his way

_______

And she's on her way too! Who? Ellsee of course! She speed walks, as not to lose all her stamina when she really needs it. An imp flies past, The hero blood chasing after it. She takes a few pictures, and continues on to the safe zone. She Hears Blood grumble about common sense, which he's probably right about. But the aspects are pretty damn competent, that's for sure. She feels safe around them. She trusts them to protect people. She’s not sure if she could ever do it. She’ll stick to fanfiction thank you very much!

She felt a bit awkward about the fanfiction she wrote. RPF was definitely a bit iffy compared to most of the other fandoms they’ve been in. They didn’t want to seem weird about it. Most of the stuff she wrote was either something she made up or popular fanon. According to they Aspects public twitter account (completely untrackable or traceable thanks to void), they had expressed no discomfort over fanfiction as long as it wasn't anything explicit, which ellsee had no problem with. 

After the aspects were well out of sight she sped up. Not bothering to stay in one area for even a moment. God there's a lot of imps this time. There aren't any aspects that are close to her huh, but there are imps. Some look at her and then pounch. She tries to outrun them. She really does. Her feet pound into the ground. Her jacket flailing in the wind. This is what they need their energy for. A shadow jumps. An imp strikes her on her side. And oh god shes writhing. What were they supposed to do? i t hurts. ShΣ is ThΣ MagΣ of lifΣ. And it hurts.

_______

And she's awake. She’s not grey. And she's wearing her robes. “Well, Fuck” She’s not a troll, she is not a troll . Of course shes not a troll. Shes been a human for their entire life. Shes also a troll. Shes a human who has a brother and a family and friends. Shes a troll who has a co descendant and a lusus and people who she likes to believe shes on amicable terms with. She’s not one or two. She is a conflicting mess of experiences. Things she had not even dreamed of yesterday are second nature, dont go near the water, hide your blood and yourself, look both ways before crossing the street, 5th graders are cruel. Things that make total and yet no sense. Blending into an individual who really shouldn't be blended.

But there were more pressing matters at hand. For one, the construct infront of them that kept trying to stab them. Nice try asshole. Shes pureself. Taking her Staff out of her now present sylladex they blast the constructs into bits. Loot drops from the disintegrated imp. She’s familiar yet completely unfamiliar with themself. She kinda knew what they were from experience. Her memories of both lives filling in gaps she didnt know she had. They were panicking, yet excited. Distressed, yet put together. If they were gonna do this superhero shtick they needed a disguise. Dawning on a mask of lime while wearing her Pureself cloth she sprang into action.

_______

They’d been at this for a while now when a message popped up on her phone. Shit. they were expecting her. Years worth of memories being crammed in and fused can do that to ya. Time to come up with a quick excuse

EO: fΣΣling not good right now :(

AH: XDXD are you alright???????

EO: yΣp, just fΣΣling sorΣ from all this running

DQ: Are*you*still*on*your*way?

EO: yΣs moving now

AH: XDXD are you gonna make it in time? XDXD

EO: yΣp!

EO: no worriΣs!

EO: Im fast

That should stall for time while she blasts some constructs. They felt a bit bad about lying. But she doubt any of them could understand. They need to wrap it up, fast.

 

_______

She floats down into an alley right across from the safe zone. They still need to change out of their robes. Well there's an alternate set in her sylladex. She changes in an instant, and casually walks on over to the safe zone. Right! The memo. They need to respond to that, ensure they arrived alright. It would be awkward to talk in person.

EO: Im HΣrΣ!