Shinogu clutched the front of Azusa’s shirt in balled fists. They stared at each other in silence.
Their gazes were steady, focused, waiting.
“You don’t know, you don’t see anything.”
It was a whisper, but it had the same impact as a sonic boom. Azusa’s eyes narrowed; shadows crossed his face, and he glanced down at the hands holding his shirt.
“I don’t know…you?”
His gaze slid up again locking with Shin’s. He licked his lips slowly, anger warring with pain twisted deep into his gut. How could someone be so wrong? How could he not understand? Yet despite his growing anger, his pulse beat rapidly as he stared into Shin’s eyes. Boiling lust won the conflict between logic and desire in the back of his head as he took hold of Shinogu’s wrists.
“…you…”, he muttered. In an instant the situation shifted. He moved quickly, tearing his hands from his shirt and pushing Shinogu’s back to the wall.
He lowered his face scant inches, nose, mouth hovering before each other, breath hot and heavy met and mingled somewhere suspended between. Shinogu placed the flat of his palms on Azusa’s chest in futile resistance, which was countered when his hands were seized roughly and pinioned to the wall above his head. His body heated slowly; he could feel the slow surprising curl of desire roil in the pit of his stomach. Nothing could have prepared him for the intoxication of being this close to him or the satisfaction of seeing that same naked desire mirrored on the other man’s face. His friend who was looking at him with what seemed to be pain in the depths of his eyes. His breathing grew a little more rapid and he found it increasingly difficult to form a coherent thought.
Shin's whispered, “What are you doing?”, received an equally husky response.
“Doing? I’m proving something.”
When Shinogu tried to turn his face away from that penetrating look, his chin was grabbed roughly and he caught a brief glimpse of smirking lips before Azusa closed the space between, catching his mouth with his own and using his startled gasp to snake his tongue between the older man’s teeth.
It was a sweet invasion, a series of probing flicks mating amidst soft moans.
Shinogu knew that he still had time to protest, he thought he had the strength somewhere in this body, that at this moment threatened absolute betrayal.
His mind registered the confusion that kept him docile, the fear that maybe he had wanted this to happen, that maybe one feeling was just as guilty as the other, just as needy. The grip on his wrists loosened, but instead of pulling free, Shinogu used this new-found freedom to glide them up strong arms and burrow his fingers into that dark hair. He pulled on it gently but it was enough to incite a small whimper from that slender throat and enflame them all the more. The kiss became more frantic as Azusa inserted his knee between Shinogu’s thighs. His hands slid their way down over his lean chest, bumping over slightly protruding ribs that became more pronounced with every heavy ragged breath. They found their rest at Shinogu’s waist, his fingers locking into the belt loops of his jeans and pressing closer to gently rub, zipper to zipper.
Shinogu gasped, ripping his mouth from Azusa’s, his eyes were unfocused and his body hummed to a fever pitch. He had never felt this before, never even knew this feeling existed. He clung to Azusa on weak knees as those plundering lips brushed their way over his cheek and stopped at one tender ear lobe, lapping and nipping it gently, drawing another throaty moan. His hips continued to undulate slowly, brushing throbbing length to throbbing length.
“I don’t know you?”
He nuzzled closer to his ear and breathed silkily into it. His hand ventured under Shinogu’s shirt to splay across his ribs, thumb grazing a nipple in slow circles. Shinogu’s hands tightened in Azusa’s hair and pulled his head back up. Their eyes locked once again, the look in the younger man’s eyes was unfathomable, like glass chips in a pool of dark. He brushed his thumb across one arched eyebrow and that gaze softened.
“Shin, when will you realize that I am the only person on this planet that really knows you...everything about you?”
He ground his hips forward again, increasing the pressure, his eyes searching his face. It was beautiful, sweat beading desire on his lips and cheeks, running in salty drops down to his chin. He placed his tongue here, tasting the salty sweet offered by the longing of one man. Azusa’s hands began to prowl again, pulling Shin’s shirt over his head in one fluid movement, then brushing down his stomach, hips, and reached round to sink in to the firm roundness of his ass, pulling him closer to the core of his arousal. The line between their bodies distorted and Shinogu was allowed one quivering sigh before his mouth was taken again.
“I will show you, just how much I know Shin…”
It was a promise made between small sips and bites at now swollen lips. Shin’s heart thundered in his ears, the pounding so violent, he almost couldn’t hear around it. Either way he had the general idea.
Azusa abandoned his lips once again in favor of the hollow where his neck met his shoulder, sucking and nibbling in equal turns, his hand moved of its own accord, running smoothly up the side of his neck, forcing his chin up for better access to the tender region of his throat. Shin shuddered under the barrage of sensations. Azusa snickered against his throat and began his descent. Moving on he found his way to one small nipple. Teasing lips rubbed against it, teeth grazed gently, before turning hungry and opening fully over it to suck roughly. Shin was panting now, with every torturous nip and suck, he lost a little more of his control. Azusa was well aware of his bodies growing demands, it was evident in the beads of sweat, the rosy blush that had spread over every ounce of exposed flesh. He marveled in the firm softness of the luscious body. His cock pulsed, jutting towards the promise of that taut form. As if answering on its own accord Shin’s body shivered and his ass flexed convulsively beneath Azusa’s cupping hands. Pleased with the reaction, he rewarded him by sliding his mouth lower, over a flat stomach and stopping at the belt line. A small sprinkling of dark hair ran from his bellybutton, disappearing below this mesmerizing line. He followed it with a fingertip, relishing in the shudders that ran through Shin’s body. His gaze skimmed up the length of exposed torso, then darted back level. His hand massaged softly between ass, stroking the back of the thigh and the ass again, creating a delicious friction through the denim.
“Ahnnn, -zusa”, it was a panting breath that bordered on begging. He could not feel shame in his need, nor could he dowse it, all he could do is put himself at the mercy of the man at his feet. Azusa laughed deep in his throat and looked into Shin’s eyes again. Seeing the heat there his tone changed, suddenly he wanted to know that he felt it too.
“Can I have you Shin?” his voice, barely a whisper, was husky, tinged with urgent need and something the ran deeper than the desire did. Shin’s gaze never wavered, his mouth worked to answer through desire and uncertainty. When he couldn’t seem to do so, he just nodded, his fingers tightening in Azusa’s hair. The consent unleashed a torrent of desire. Azusa feverishly nuzzled his face to the denim clad length, bathing it in the heat from his breath.
“What do you want Shin?”
He moved his hand roughly up the zippered ridge and tugged the button loose there.
The zipper gave way easily enough and he allowed his lips the pleasure of free reign over the newly exposed skin. His tongue slid stealthily along the front edge of black boxers, sliding beneath the puny defense of the flap and encountering the weeping tip of Shin’s desire. He flicked his tongue across it experimentally, finding the taste, exactly what he had been craving. His quarry writhed, his hips bucked, instinctively seeking out the hot questing mouth. Azusa chuckled again at the urgency behind the panting breathes and thrusting hips, in the hands that clung to his hair. His own arousal was growing heavy and hard to bear as he released Shin's cock from the confines of his boxers and gave one long indolent lick from base to tip. The hands in his hair contracted in his hair painfully in time with eager huffing. Azusa smirked and took Shin’s full length deep into his mouth, his tongue sucking, cradling as his throat contracted around the hard, wanting organ.
Shin’s voice carried down to ears, spurring him on as his pace gradually increased.
“Ahnnn...so good. ‘Zusa, please...”
Prodded, Azusa took him deeper, his teeth grazing, his hands keeping hips still, stroking and grasping in time with every plunge.
“Please no more...I can- uhnnnn”, the hands in his hair pulled him away and Shin sank to the floor in front of him, his knees giving way to pleasure.
Not wasting a moment, Azusa relieved him of his jeans and boxers, absorbing the full effect of Shin’s nudity, on display for him. Shin reached out shaky fingers to trace full lips, trailing down his throat to the front of his shirt which he ripped open, buttons popping and scattering across the floor. His mouth zeroed in on the Azusa’s chest, while his hands made quick work of the fastenings on his pants. Azusa moaned, trembling hands found and slowly stroked the object of their search, cupping and sliding across skin in time with the rapid flicking of his tongue across Azusa’s
nipple. Shin’s eyes were mere slits of lust in his face, a fine sheet of perspiration covered his body and Azusa nearly came witnessing that potent combination. He needed him, spread beneath him, right now.
The want arrowed deep within his gut and he pushed Shin away to sprawl out on the floor, his body issuing a clear invitation that his eyes mirrored. Ridding himself of the rest of his own clothing, he knelt between Shin’s legs and stared into his eyes. His gaze never wavering he thrust his finger into his mouth, working it in slow even thrusts between his lips, before pulling it out, moisture glistening all the way to the tip. Shin’s face contorted; his eyes hypnotized by the plunge of those fingers.
“Shin...”, it was only a brief warning before that moistened digit was thrust into hot yielding flesh.
His hips rose of the floor, a heady mix of discomfort and pleasure rolled through him even as the tears sprang behind his closed lids.
“You’re so tight here Shin, so…”
“ ‘Zusa, uhnnn,”
He withdrew his fingers then and bent to press his face to the plundered area, his tongue lapping greedily alternating between sucking and licking. His hands remained busy, kneading the soft flesh of his ass. Shin's moans deepened, begging for the release that only Azusa could give him. The long steady strokes began to head north again, swirling around the base and again taking the full length into his mouth. He withdrew almost completely, his mouth sucking intensely on the head, before bobbing down again working his tongue in little thrusts as he moved. A seeking finger plunged, then increased to two, thrusting in time with each heady deep-throated stroke.
“ ‘Zusa, now! Please! If you keep doing that I will c—“.
Tearing his mouth away he repositioned himself, placing Shin’s legs over his shoulders, as he began to gradually sink in. His turgid length sinking slowly into the hot, silky confines of Shin’s ass. Shin was tearing up in earnest now. The fit was too tight and his face was marked with pain, his teeth gritting. His breath caught and held as he was invaded, Azusa’s length filling him.
“Hurts- Azusa, it hurts…”
“Do you want me to stop?”
Shin’s eyes snapped open; intense, enraged,
“Don’t stop, don’t ever sto-”
Azusa gritted his teeth and stood, looking for relief, and finding it in a little bottle of lotion left on the table, he snatched it with trembling fingers and glanced at the label. “For Sensitive Skin”
His eyebrow arched, the Gods of Great Sex had a sense of humor but he made no more of it as he slathered it on his hands, once again kneeling between Shin’s legs, he rubbed the lotion liberally down his shaft and spread Shin open, giving one more long soothing lick before rubbing in some of the lotion. His greased fingers wriggled their way into his ass once more stretching him further, drawing out sharp mewing cries. He withdrew at Shin’s desperate insistence and returned to his waiting arms. He placed sweat slicked legs over his shoulders and sank in, still slowly, but this time, he slid home with less effort. He buried himself to the base, and waited for Shin to regain some of his composure before he began his slow, deep pounding thrusts, angling until he found that sweet little spot that made Shin moan thickly at the ceiling. He bit on his knuckles, the thrusts growing more intense, his breathing was ragged but not so much from the pain anymore. It came out in sobbing gasps as his hands clawed at the skin covering strong shoulders, but the other man failed to notice. His toes curled, mounting desire built deep and hot in his spine.
“So damn tight, Shin, feels..so, uhnnn—"
“Ahh, Hahn, ‘Zusa, please, more, nnnn,more —"
Azusa leaned in, the thrusts penetrating deeper and harder, driving Shin’s broad shoulders into the floor.
“Nnnn- Azusa, I’m gonna —"
Azusa grabbed the base of his cock, and growled in his ear.
He withdrew then, ignoring Shin’s whimper of protest as he forced him onto his hands and knees. Planting his lips on the soft skin drawn tight over shoulder blades, he licked his way down Shin’s back. His mouth plunged lower pausing to suck loudly at one taut cheek, before slapping the other and driving in from behind. His panting matched Shin’s with each plunge. His hand reached round to hold the base of Shin’s cock, again squeezing off the impulse to come alone. Shin’s scent surrounded him, and he buried his face in the back of his neck, breathing deep and sucking avidly.
“-ha..nnn, ‘Zusa, more, now, give me more, so good.”
Azusa changed the tight grip to a fisted stroke that matched the frantic thrusts of his hips. Shin found Azusa’s lips over his shoulder, lips parted in a probing that swallowed the deep throaty moan as he fell over the edge, coming again and again, gasping Azusa’s name frantically. Azusa followed soon after, his thrusts becoming wild and almost clumsy in their release, before he collapsed sated and happy. He withdrew almost immediately, leaving Shin to grab tissue and gently wipe him clean. Returning to his side, he laid with his head on Shin’s chest. He could hear Shinogu’s heart beat start to slow, felt his hand in his hair and lips brush the top of his head.
Azusa caught his lips one more time kissing him deeply. He didn’t want regret right now, so he sought refuge in levity.
“You know Shin, I know this may not be the time, but I believe an “I told you so” is in order.”
Shin grimaced but slapped his ass playfully.
“Maybe…” he murmured.
Azusa laid his head on his chest, promptly falling asleep, right on the floor. Shin brushed the hair off his forehead and traced his brows once more, before drifting off himself, wrapped in the warmth of those arms. The arms that knew him.
Azusa woke a little while later and gazed at Shin’s sleeping form. He stood cracking the muscles in his back, and stretching out to his body’s full length. Then, slinging one of the sleep laden arms around his neck, he carried Shin to bed. He placed him in the center and covered him, leaving only to dress and drink a glass of water. When he returned Shin was still sleeping, chest rising and falling evenly under the thin blanket. His face was bit pale still, despite the rosy blush that he had worked up only an hour before. He still looked so tired and fragile. Small purple bite marks were forming on the tender flesh between his neck and shoulder. He was too rough. Azusa blamed his stupidity and lack of control. Shin was still unwell and he had taken advantage of that. He pulled up a kitchen chair next to his bed and sat, resting his face in his hands. Tears dropped into his palms when he imagined the borderline rape he had committed, even justified in his mind as something that he had to do to prove himself to the one he loved. He cursed his own selfishness and prayed for the courage to look Shin in the eye in the days to come. He looked at Shin’s still form and, sniffing deeply, moved to press his hand against his face. He was truly beautiful and Azusa was first class shit.
“I’m sorry Shin, sorrier than you will ever know. I should’ve waited. I should’ve left when I had the chance to keep all this awkwardness where it belongs. I should’ve known to keep myself from dirtying you with these hands that ache to touch you.”
He gathered one warm hand into his two cold ones, and pressed his lips to it.
“I love you Shin.”
He left then, sparing one parting glance before shuffling out the door. His feet dragged, each step resonating in his ears with a new heavy burden, one that should have never come to pass. The guilt caught in his throat and joined with the left-over feelings of desire, making his chest burn and his breath part from his lungs in gasping ripples. Nothing would ever be the same, it wasn't possible anymore.