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I Just Want to Breathe

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I Just Want to Breathe



Tetsu... If you have the answer, please tell me.

But he doesn't, because he's just as new at this as Yukio is. And it isn't that he doesn't have some sort of feelings for Tetsu, (after all, Tetsu is his saviour -- more like Jun's saviour) but Yukio isn't sure what they are. He does like Tetsu, but the question is how much does he like Tetsu?

If Yuki thinks about it, thinks about it real hard, he didn't hate it when Tetsushi kissed him. He was more appalled, if anything, at the fact that Tetsu had found out about his past and that maybe, maybe, Tetsu was like those dirty men. That he was like Wang. And it made Yuki sick.

But if he clears the anger and those horrid thoughts from his mind long enough, he remembers the look on Tetsu's face when he accused him; he can still feel the burning in his cheek from when Tetsu slapped him.

What's worse is he can remember that dejected look on Tetsu's face the day he said good bye.

But if he really cared about me, why did he just stand there and watch my back as I got into the car with that fucking pervert?!

Yukio doesn't have the answer but Tetsu does. He was scared, he was scared, he was frozen in place. He didn't know what to do but he knew he wanted power.

But if Yukio thinks about it, he doesn't want Tetsu to change, especially for him. He likes that Tetsu is stubborn and unreasonable, he likes that Tetsu protects him and he doesn't need to o have power to do that.

Seeing him smile, knowing he's okay... Just being with Tetsu is enough for Yuki. And Yuki likes that its him that puts the smile on Tetsu's face and he likes that no matter what he says or does, Tetsu is always there for him and Jun.

What's best is that he likes that Tetsu likes him for who he is; all the good, the bad and the ugly. That Tetsu loves him and doesn't expect anything from him in return.

Being with Tetsu is fun. Yuki can't picture a life without him. Maybe not in a romantic sense but, Tetsu is like his shadow. Tetsu is like... the sunset they saw melting into the ground over the polluted zone. Tetsu is calm and peace and... A breath of fresh air.

And if Yuki thinks real hard, he thinks he's answered his own question. Maybe he likes Tetsu a lot more than he thought.