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I pause, facing the hallway that leads to my room. Do I really want to do this? I mean… my parents just told us they’re separating. The emotions that are in play right now are a wild card. No, you know what? Fuck it. I turn back around to face my parents and Pilar.
“No, Not nothing.”
I take a deep breath, hands trembling. Okay, I got this.
“Mom… Dad…”
I’m really doing this aren’t I?
“I’m gay”
There’s a stillness that passes through the room after the words leave my mouth. We all sit there tense in our spots in the living room. Mom is the one to break the stillness of the room. Her eyes widen and she brings her hand to her mouth in shock. My dad’s face stays expressionless while Pilar’s softens.
“I- I’m gonna go change now. Can we talk about this in the morning?”
I walk off to my room not waiting for a response, not wanting to give my parents a chance to talk more about this tonight. I shut my door slowly and slip my phone out of my pocket. I open my DM’s on instagram to message Simon.
Dear Simon,
So, uh… Mia found out tonight. Yeah she saw me kissing Benji outside the dance. BEFORE you ask, Benji broke up with his boyfriend, so there wasn’t any cheating on his end. Anyways, if tonight wasn’t crazy enough, Pilar, my sister, found the note i wrote for Benji. She found out I cheated on Mia, a recurring theme in this family... what with my mom and Roger. Pilar confronted me after I tried explaining things to Mia, and when we were walking home I tried to tell her about everything, without coming out. When we got home I was planning to come out to my family all together, but when we walked in the door my parents sat me and Pilar down and told us they’re separating. I got to go change after they dropped that on me, but i turned around and told them “I’m gay.” That’s the first time that I’ve said the words and I have no idea how they’re going to react. I won’t see anyone until the morning. Wish me luck.
Sincerely, Victor
I set my phone down next to me on the bed. I shrug off my blazer and drape it over the chair. I unbutton my shirt and take it off. I throw on a random t-shirt and remove my slacks. I walk over to my bed and sit on it, plugging my phone in. I open Mia’s contact but then think that I should probably let her cool off.
A few minutes later there’s a knock on my door.
“Who is it?”
“Pilar.”
“It’s open..” I respond.
She walks in and sits on my bed.
“So, what’s going on?” I ask her cautiously
Pilar smiles softly
“I’m glad that you felt brave enough to come out tonight. Especially after the news mom and dad gave us right before you did.”
Pilar gives a small smile when she finishes. I pull her into a tight hug, relieved that she accepts me.
“Thanks Pilar, you have no idea how much that means to me.”
“Y’know I may not understand it but what I do understand is that you did what you did to find yourself. And I can learn to live with it because it helped you to find your true self.”
Pilar starts to walk towards the door but I stop her.
“Pilar? Were mami and papi saying anything after I came to my room? Like about me.”
“It was silent, nothing to worry about yet.”
She shuts my door softly exiting my room.
I shut off my lamp after I lie down in bed and drift off.
I wake up around 10:00 the next morning to my phone’s text tone going off. I roll over and grab my phone. It’s a text from Benj, I smile remembering last night. I open the message.
Morning beautiful : )
My smile widens.
Morning Benji <3
After I send the text a notification from Simon on instagram.
Well Victor I’m glad you were able to come out to your parents last night. As for the situation with Mia, I can’t say I’m surprised. The truth always seems to come out (Pun completely intended) in the worst ways in Creekwood. But then they also have a way of fixing themselves as well. I hope that things fix themselves the way they did for me. Good luck on the conversation you’ve had/need to have with your family.
Love,
Simon
I groan, remembering that I have to talk to my parents and Pilar about coming out last night. I take my time getting dressed, trying to delay the conversation as much as possible. I roll out of bed and walk over to my dresser. I take my time getting dressed trying to delay the conversation as long as possible. I slip on shoes and shove clothes into my basketball and school bag. Just in case. I take a deep breath and slowly make my way out of my room towards the kitchen.
In the kitchen Pilar was silently eating a bowl of cereal while mom and dad were talking quietly, probably waiting for me. I step into the kitchen and give a small wave.
“Good morning mom, dad.”
They stop talking abruptly and look up to me, my dad smiles softly at me while my mom’s face is still and emotionless.
“Victor, why don’t we sit down.”
My dad gestures to the kitchen table and we all gather around it. I sit stiffly in my chair praying that this talk goes well.
“Mijo, We just want you to know that we love you and you will always be our son.”
“He’ll what?” my mom promptly asks.
I sit there in shock, my mom doesn’t want me anymore?
“Do you not love me because I’m gay?”
Before she can respond I run to my room and grab my to-go bag.
“Mijo wait! Your mom isn’t thinking straight right now.” my dad shouts after me.
I ignore him and make my way out of the front door. I bolt down the stairs and run to where I sat when I came out to Felix. I tug my phone out of my pocket pulling up Simon’s contact. I bring the phone to my ear.
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
Click.
“Hello?”