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RE: Jon Sims Complaints (edited)

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from: Jennifer Barnes < jbarnes@magnusinstitute.edu >

to: Jon Sims < jsims@magnusinstitute.edu

CC: Martin Blackwood < mblackwood@magnusinstitute.edu >,  Elias Bouchard < ebouchard@magnusinstitute.edu >, Basira Hussain < bhussain@magnusinstitute.edu >, Sasha James < sjames@magnusinstitute.edu >, Melanie King < mking@magnusinstitute.edu >, Tim Stoker < tstoker@magnustinstitute.edu >, Alice Tonner < alice.tonner@cityoflondonpd.gov.uk

subject: Jon Sims Complaints (edited)

Link: Jon Sims Complaints (edited)

Hi Jon and all,

    I would like to extend my congratulations, I suppose, to you Mr. Sims. You have reached 500 complaints here at HR! I have never seen this happen before, except for the researcher in Artifact Storage who found a Leitner that made everyone think she was assaulting them constantly. In your three years as the Head Archivist, you received these complaints from over 130 people. I’m not discussing those previous to your promotion, as I don’t think those are necessary to confront. However, as is policy for every hundred complaints, I need to have a meeting with you. Mr. Bouchard has told me that it is unnecessary with your case, but I want to check in with you anyways to acknowledge your behavior. 

As you are out of the country at the moment, I thought I’d send the complaints to you via email. You have commenting permissions, and I expect you to look through each complaint (with an exception) and discuss with me how you are correcting your behavior. In lieu of meetings with the affected parties, Mr. Bouchard recommended I give them permissions to comment and discuss the complaints alongside yourself. There are far too many people to send this email to, and many of them were statement givers, so I have excluded those complaints from this file unless they stood out, or were repeated infractions. However, the six CC’d on this email (except for Mr. Bouchard) have all submitted multiple complaints about your behavior, and the rest of HR and myself decided to include them, especially seeing as they’re your coworkers. 

I expect that you can find time during your trip to look through these documents, and comment on them as well as reply to your coworkers. This is a heavily modified form of what we have non-Archival staff do, and far less time-consuming. I would like to point out that you are the first Head Archivist to receive this many complaints, even with the social nature of your job. Mrs. Richardson received 50 complaints over the course of her employment with us. You, however, have stacked up an impressive amount of complaints, and despite Mr. Bouchard’s primary objections, it is my job to confront these behaviors. It is also the recommendation of the primary funders of our institute, the Lukases, to discuss the attached documents with you in order to avoid lawsuits. 

The normal policy with ex-employees such as Ms. James is to contact them to come in via email, but I could not find her personal email address(es) on record, and so I have CC’d her old work email on this just in case she still checks it. If anyone has her current forwarding address, please let me know so I can include her. 

Thank you so much for your time!

Jennifer Barnes, HR Director, The Magnus Institute

VIGILO~OPPERIOR~AUDIO

 

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to: Jennifer Barnes < jbarnes@magnusinstitute.edu >

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from: Elias Bouchard < ebouchard@magnusinstitute.edu >

to: Jon Sims < jsims@magnusinstitute.edu

CC: Martin Blackwood < mblackwood@magnusinstitute.edu >,  Basira Hussain < bhussain@magnusinstitute.edu >, Sasha James < sjames@magnusinstitute.edu >, Melanie King < mking@magnusinstitute.edu >, Tim Stoker < tstoker@magnustinstitute.edu >, Alice Tonner < alice.tonner@cityoflondonpd.gov.uk >  

subject: RE: Jon Sims Complaints (edited)

    Before you ask, Jon, this is, in fact, necessary. If you do not comply with the request from HR and from Mr. Lukas, there will be some… unfortunate consequences. This applies to all of you. Please do not disappoint me.

Elias Bouchard, Head of the Magnus Institute

VIGILO~OPPERIOR~AUDIO



from: Jon Sims < jsims@magnusinstitute.edu

to: Jennifer Barnes < jbarnes@magnusinstitute.edu >

subject: RE: Jon Sims Complaints (edited)

Hi Jennifer, 

The link above doesn’t actually let us download anything. Instead, it redirects to the Wikipedia page about Wikipedia itself. I don’t think that you meant to attach that link. 

Regards, 

Jon Sims, Head Archivist, the Magnus Institute

VIGILO~OPPERIOR~AUDIO



from: Jennifer Barnes < jbarnes@magnusinstitute.edu >

to: Jon Sims < jsims@magnusinstitute.edu

CC: Martin Blackwood < mblackwood@magnusinstitute.edu >,  Elias Bouchard < ebouchard@magnusinstitute.edu >, Basira Hussain < bhussain@magnusinstitute.edu >, Sasha James < sjames@magnusinstitute.edu >, Melanie King < mking@magnusinstitute.edu >, Tim Stoker < tstoker@magnustinstitute.edu >, Alice Tonner < alice.tonner@cityoflondonpd.gov.uk

subject: RE: Jon Sims Complaints (edited)

Hi again all,

    Jon just brought it to my attention that I put the wrong link in the above email. The following link should be the right one. Sorry for the mix-up! And I think as an incentive, I’ll drop a fun fact I learned on Wikipedia in the comments, just to bring some humor to this task. 

Jon Sims Complaints (edited)

Thank you for your patience. 

Jennifer Barnes, HR Director, The Magnus Institute

VIGILO~OPPERIOR~AUDIO



downloading Jon Sims Complaints (edited).docx



    Before you begin reading: These complaints have been edited from their original states, including only the name and the relevant information, rather than include contact information. All of the following are in chronological order starting in August 2015 and going through this year- except for one, which I will explain when we arrive. 

 

Complaint 1: 

Your Name: Tim Stoker 

Status:__X_Employee            ____ Faculty

 ____ Statement Giver  Other (Specify) ________________________

Complaint Information 

Date of Incident: August 18th 2015 

Location of Incident: 

Name(s) of Employee(s) Involved: Jon Sims, Sasha James

Please describe the incident in detail: Jon and Sasha haven’t been treating me with respect. I do my work well, I know I do, but they refuse to acknowledge it in a professional way. [1][2][3] In addition, Elias recommended that I practice submitting a complaint to HR, so here we are. This is an actual complaint though, I guess. [4][5][6][7][8]

If there are others who have witnessed the incident, please provide their names: Martin Blackwood

Is this the first time you have raised this concern about this person?

__X_ Yes 

____ No

 

[1] Jennifer Barnes This isn’t the best one to start out with, but for completeness, I figured I would include it. This was resolved years ago, unless either of the active employees mentioned have anything to say about it.

    [2] Tim Stoker none here

    [3] Jon Sims For the record, I am still sorry.

 

[4] Tim Stoker i wouldnt have sent this to hr except that elias insisted. pretty fucking ironic that you were the one that wanted me to “get used to HR”

    [5] Jennifer Barnes Although this isn’t at work exactly, I would still appreciate it if you didn’t curse. We are professionals here, after all. Today’s fun fact is that the term “mark” or “march” is an antonym to heartland- the borderlands of a country. 

        [6] Tim Stoker what are you going to do, fire me?

    [7] Elias Bouchard What I did was not ironic, if anything- which it was not- it would have been foreshadowing. 

        [8] Tim Stoker fuck off 

 

Complaint 2: 

Your Name: Sasha James [1][2][3][4][5][6]

Status:_X__Employee            ____ Faculty

____ Statement Giver  Other (Specify) ________________________

Complaint Information 

Date of Incident: December 15th 2015 

Location of Incident: The Archives, the Magnus Institute

Name(s) of Employee(s) Involved: Jon Sims, technically Martin Blackwood

Please describe the incident in detail: Jon is unnecessarily cruel to Martin, to the point of “accidentally” spilling Martin’s tea into the plant in his office in front of him and insulting his work behind his back. Although he might deserve some of the criticism Jon gives him, he shouldn’t have to find out that Jon thinks he’s a kindergarten-level idiot from me and Tim. [7][8][9][10][11] I’ve talked to him about it, but he needs to be addressed by someone with power. 

If there are others who have witnessed the incident, please provide their names: Martin Blackwood, Tim Stoker

Is this the first time you have raised this concern about this person?

_X__Yes 

____ No

 

[1] Jennifer Barnes I really would appreciate it if she could be here along with us. I assume this complaint has been resolved, but I’d like to double-check. 

    [2] Jon Sims She will not be joining us. And if any of the rest of you would like to know, Daisy, Basira- ask Melanie. Do not ask any of the rest of us. This includes you, Jennifer. 

        [3] Martin Blackwood agreed, if you really need to know, don’t.

    [4] Tim Stoker do you really not know? did elias not tell anyone else? i know he didnt bother telling us she’d been replaced with that thing but seriously? she doesnt get to be mia’d like gertrude? show some fucking respect

        [5] Jennifer Barnes Again, please watch your language. Fun fact: the Palearctic is the geographical region containing Europe, the upper half of Asia, and northern Africa. 

        [6] Elias Bouchard Sasha has been shown all the respect she deserved, especially as a better researcher than any of you present. 

 

[7] Jon Sims Again, I apologize for my early behavior. 

    [8] Martin Blackwood I know I’m not Sasha, but I think you can go ahead and mark this one as resolved. there haven’t been incidents like this for a while. 

        [9] Jennifer Barnes Sounds good. Fun Fact: Jumping spiders make up 13% of spider species. 

    [10] Tim Stoker why were you such an jerk anyway? (see, Jennifer Barnes, i CAN use professional language)

        [11] Jon Sims I felt I needed a reason to distrust someone in the office, similarly to the following year’s paranoia break. 



from: Jon Sims < jsims@magnusinstitute.edu

to: Martin Blackwood < mblackwood@magnusinstitute.edu >

subject: 

Martin,

    Did you notice anything odd about the link that Jennifer sent us? I keep getting… Senses about it, the same way I Know things. I’d check it out, and I will, but I’d like to at least let someone else know before I do anything. I don’t like the behavior she’s been showing online, either. The whole “fun fact” thing is suspicious if you ask me. See you later. 

Jon Sims, Head Archivist, the Magnus Institute

VIGILO~OPPERIOR~AUDIO



Complaint 3-21: Note: These complaints are all similar, so I have chosen one to represent the group and listed the names of all of the complainants in the corresponding field. 

Your Name: Jannat Rowan, Doug Eiffel, Sebastian Yu, Flora Guadarrama, Adrian O’Boyle, Mukesha Wilton, Ashley Pierotti, Pamela Walters, Tabita Scully, Dara Hilton, Bran Winthrop, Seth Harman, Alexandra Eracorma, Lance Tucker, Santo Malone, Charity Grant, Georgia Abe, Quentin Ragge

Status:        Employee            ____ Faculty

_X__Statement Giver  Other (Specify) ________________________

Complaint Information 

Date of Incident: 2015 through early 2016

Location of Incident: the Archives

Name(s) of Employee(s) Involved: Jon Sims

Please describe the incident in detail: (complaint of Pamela Walters) Your archivist is very unsociable. When I went down to give my statement, he gave me the spiel and paper, but as soon as he read it, he laughed in my face. He told me I was hysterical and that his job was not a joke, unlike this story. Whether or not my story was true is not pertinent to this complaint [1][2][3], but he should not be taking statements from anyone. 



[1] Jon Sims If you’d like to know, her story was a piece of erotica about a man who “deflowered” her and was a lie. There was nothing even remotely paranormal about it except for her descriptions of the man and his “color-changing eyes, one moment they were magenta and the next they were red and the next, blue”. I understand that my behavior is less than ideal for statement givers, but if you had read her story you would’ve done the same, I assure you. She didn’t even write about an experience that she had, she just wanted to get a free editor out of this institution. I Know that -or, sorry, follow-up on her statement showed that she has made a name for herself writing 50 Shades of Grey fanfiction, in case you were wondering. 

    [2] Basira Hussain We still have that statement? 

        [3] Jon Sims Yes, it’s on the eighth shelf to the right of the door to the third room, still on paper, middle row, under case #0091001. You wouldn’t like it though, it manages to incorporate several anti-Muslim stereotypes and is very Aryan. 

 

from: Martin Blackwood < mblackwood@magnusinstitute.edu >

to:Jon Sims < jsims@magnusinstitute.edu >  

subject: RE:

i didn’t notice anything the first time i clicked on it, but are you sure it’s the safest idea to check it out if you’re Knowing things about it? I agree about the weirdness though, she’s been doing it in real life as well.

Martin Blackwood, Archival Assistant, the Magnus Institute

VIGILO~OPPERIOR~AUDIO



Complaint 22:

Your Name: Tim Stoker

Status:_X_Employee            ____ Faculty

____ Statement Giver  Other (Specify) ________________________

Complaint Information 

Date of Incident: March 10th 2016 [1][2]

Location of Incident: the Archives

Name(s) of Employee(s) Involved: Jon Sims

Please describe the incident in detail: I’m pretty sure that Jon managed to drive Martin off once and for all. He’s been out of work “sick” for 11 days now, and he won’t talk to anyone but Jon, apparently, and Jon won’t show us his texts, so I think either he killed Martin, unlikely, or Martin finally snapped and Jon doesn’t want us to know. He might just be sick, but if another few weeks go by, I want to have done something now. [3][4][5][6][7][8][9][10]

If there are others who have witnessed the incident, please provide their names: Sasha James

Is this the first time you have raised this concern about this person?

_X__Yes (this concern in specific)

____ No

 

[1] Martin Blackwood i have a bad feeling about what this is going to be based on the date

    [2] Martin Blackwood i was right!

[3] Jennifer Barnes Not only am I concerned that Martin was out for two weeks without contacting anyone else, but I am also worried that your coworker thought it possible that you had done something to him. If anything, you should learn to act kinder so that it doesn’t cross the mind of your friends that you’re a kidnapper or murderer. 

    [4] Tim Stoker i was mildly drunk and seriously paranoid because there were worms. do you remember the worm infestation in 2016? i do.

[5] Martin Blackwood for the record, I was kidnapped, but not by Jon. I probably should’ve spoken to someone else, but my phone was out of commission, and in use by my kidnapper.

[6] Jon Sims For the record on my part, I was concerned for Martin’s safety. It wasn’t my fault we were all paranoid, this time.

    [7] Basira Hussain Is it frequent that members of this team get kidnapped? I’d like to know so that it isn’t a surprise if I end up in the same boat later on. 

        [8] Tim Stoker yeah people who have been kidnapped include: sasha by the THING, martin, myself and martin if you count the whole thing with michael as kidnapping, helen just by being here not even working here, you might technically be kidnapped and forced into this job but thats a weird definition, daisy kidnapped jon for a bit back in april and threatened to kill him, and jon just got kidnapped by the fucking circus. you’re in for a treat! 

                [9] Jennifer Barnes Mr. Elias Bouchard, please discuss language usage and seriousness with Tim. I’m afraid that he doesn’t understand that this isn’t primary anymore. Joking about subjects like these should not be tolerated. If things like this have been happening, you should at least be letting HR know. Job risks like this are our department. I do understand the irony of this, but I promised I would give out fun facts in order to incentivise people to respond. Fun fact: although turtles are known for having hard shells, there are several species of freshwater turtles known as “softshell turtles” because they don’t have the trademark hard shells. 

                    [10] Elias Bouchard Tim, Basira has not been kidnapped, and what happened to Sasha was not a kidnapping. Please use your head before you say things like this.



Complaint 23:

Your Name: Martin Blackwood

Status:__X_Employee            ____ Faculty

____ Statement Giver  Other (Specify) ________________________

Complaint Information 

Date of Incident: March 19th 2016

Location of Incident: the Archives

Name(s) of Employee(s) Involved: Jon Sims

Please describe the incident in detail: i want to start off by saying this isn’t a complaint, this is a preemptive apology, i guess? I’ve been staying in the archives and Jon got in early and he’s probably going to send a report down that I wasn’t dressed when I went into his office to try and find his mug for coffee. I feel like its the right thing to do to tell you before you have to deal with it, if that makes sense. i guess i’ll see you later when he gets a chance. [1][2][3][4][5]

If there are others who have witnessed the incident, please provide their names: 

Is this the first time you have raised this concern about this person?

____ Yes 

____ No

--X-- not applicable? 

 

[1] Jon Sims I don’t see why this was included in the list of complaints about me. It feels unnecessary. 

    [2] Tim Stoker why didnt you tell me about this

        [3] Jon Sims It didn’t pertain to you. Also, because you’re planning to never let Martin live this down as long as he lives, and he was stuck in the Archives anyway. 

            [4] Melanie King too late now to try and protect what little shame he has left

    [5] Jennifer Barnes Sorry, I missed this one. Apologies, Martin Blackwood. Fun fact: there are 22,500 known species of Chalcid wasps (named for their coppery color), but there are an estimated 500,000 species- leaving over 480,000 species undiscovered. 

 

from: Martin Blackwood < mblackwood@magnusinstitute.edu >

to:Jon Sims < jsims@magnusinstitute.edu >  

subject: RE: RE:

I looked into the wikipedia page like you recommended, except i didnt touch the body of text itself. When i checked the first paragraph against the first paragraph of the article when i looked it up- the link article is different from the one i can find through searching. Scrolling to the bottom of the page gives a single citation, quoted as “from the library of jurgen leitner”. The only editor credited is, in fact, jurgen leitner, and the only edit they made was that citation. There is no original author, but the worrying part is that this edit was made three weeks ago- after leitner was already dead.

Martin Blackwood, Archival Assistant, the Magnus Institute

VIGILO~OPPERIOR~AUDIO

 

Complaint 24: 

Your Name: Melanie King

Status: ____ Employee            ____ Faculty

_X__Statement Giver  Other (Specify) ________________________

Complaint Information 

Date of Incident: April 17th 2016

Location of Incident: the Archives

Name(s) of Employee(s) Involved: Jon Sims

Please describe the incident in detail: This man does not know how to do his job. He refused to take my statement seriously, and insisted on recording it on a tape recorder. A tape recorder! I don’t know what he’s got going on, but he needs some serious help with his job. [1][2]

If there are others who have witnessed the incident, please provide their names: 

Is this the first time you have raised this concern about this person?

_X__Yes 

____ No

 

[1] Melanie King mark this as resolved, or whatever, because i dont care any more

    [2] Jon Sims I am sorry for not taking you seriously. In my defense, it did seem far-fetched at the time. My behavior has improved since then. 



Complaint 25: 

Your Name: Tim Stoker

Status: _X__Employee            ____ Faculty

____ Statement Giver  Other (Specify) ________________________

Complaint Information 

Date of Incident: July 29th 2016

Location of Incident: the Archives

Name(s) of Employee(s) Involved: Jon Sims

Please describe the incident in detail: (Note: this has been edited to omit typos and bloodstains) FUCK if i know why this is his fault, but it is. he smashed a hole in the wall to kill a spider, first off, and let in a storm of fucking worms that ate my face. and his but i dont care about him, those are the consequences of his actions. im in the fucking hospital right now getting worms dug out of my skin and the only thing sasha brought me was this form, because i asked for it the last time i was on painkillers. jokes on her though, im on painkillers again and i WILL be turning this in when we get back to work in a month, or whatever. [1][2][3][4][5][6]

If there are others who have witnessed the incident, please provide their names: Sasha James, Martin Blackwood

Is this the first time you have raised this concern about this person?

_X__Yes (this concern in specific, again, since this is like my third complaint about him)

____ No

 

[1] Tim Stoker it says it in the complaint, i was on painkillers. i have nothing to apologize for, but for once, jon doesnt either. 

    [2] Jon Sims I do though, it was my fault that the wall was broken. It wouldn’t have broken if I hadn’t tried to kill that spider. 

        [3] Martin Blackwood Jon, it wasn’t your fault! sure, you killed a spider, which was unnecessary- they’re very important to the environment- but the wall had been degrading for months thanks to the worms. don’t blame yourself.    

            [4] Jon Sims Thank you, Martin. And Tim, in regards to your next comment, please don’t. That’s just gross. 

                [5] Tim Stoker awwwwwww how cute, heres jons boyfriend coming to the rescue of his ego. and fuck off with that spooky shit

                    [6] Jennifer Barnes If the two of you are in a relationship, then please come fill out the paperwork. We don’t shame relationships outside of the “normal” kind, but as you are a boss and employee, we need the paperwork done- although if this is Tim mocking you, I encourage you to report it to HR if this behavior is frequent. Fun fact: Cochran’s theorem is used by statisticians to justify results related to the probability distributions of statistics that are used in the analysis of variance. 

                    [7] Jennifer Barnes Wait, what? Jon, you posted that- well, the computer says that you posted it before Tim replied. Time zone issues, probably. Fun fact: the Anglo-Spanish war of the late 1500s/early 1600s wasn’t declared as a war, but historians have decided to include it as a war due to the violence it incited among the armies of the respective nations. 



Complaint 26:

Your Name: Martin Blackwood

Status:__X__Employee            ____ Faculty

____ Statement Giver  Other (Specify) ________________________

Complaint Information 

Date of Incident: July 29th 2016

Location of Incident: the Archives

Name(s) of Employee(s) Involved: Jon Sims, Tim Stoker, Sasha James, Gertrude Robinson

Please describe the incident in detail: I… feel like I have to report my end of what happened to more than just Jon in a statement, but I’ll keep it brief. One of the walls got smashed in, and worms came pouring through. I ended up finding a dead body! Is this where I ask about, like, counselling? I feel like I should be doing more, or talking to someone, because this is a traumatic event, I guess? [1][2]

If there are others who have witnessed the incident, please provide their names: Sasha James, Tim Stoker, Jon Sims

Is this the first time you have raised this concern about this person?

____ Yes 

____ No

--X-- again, not exactly applicable

 

[1] Jon Sims Did you just skip over most of the complaints from my coworkers? This, again, does not seem relevant.

    [2] Jennifer Barnes There are a great many articles to read in order to understand the depth of your issues, and I couldn’t get to all of them. Fun fact: The town of Garangah in Iran has 89 families with an average of 4.49 members per family. 

 

Complaint 27: 

Your Name: Sasha James

Status:_X__Employee            ____ Faculty

____ Statement Giver  Other (Specify) ________________________

Complaint Information 

Date of Incident: July 29th 2016

Location of Incident: the Archives

Name(s) of Employee(s) Involved: Jon Sims

Please describe the incident in detail: You really should talk to him, he’s been taking out his frustration on the infrastructure. Also, he may need therapy- this event may make him quite a bit paranoid, as with the rest of us. [1][2][3][4][5][6][7]

If there are others who have witnessed the incident, please provide their names: Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood

Is this the first time you have raised this concern about this person?

_X__ Yes

____ No

 

[1] Tim Stoker oh my fucking god you have to be kidding me

    [2] Jon Sims I… I can’t believe the audacity of that. That Thing, to not only take her body but to- This is not a relevant complaint either, Ms. Barnes. 

    [3] Martin Blackwood paranoia? does she mean the side effect of being around her? the thing that Strangers are meant to cause? thats the fault of the worms??? 

[4] Jennifer Barnes Do you happen to know where she learned calligraphy from? The penmanship on this is very different from the penmanship on the other form. 

    [5] Martin Blackwood how did we not notice that! did we just ignore it? were there things we could’ve done to see through it earlier?

        [6] Melanie King now isnt the time to say i told you so, but i did tell you so

            [7] Jon Sims Melanie, drop it. 

 

from: Jon Sims < jsims@magnusinstitute.edu

to: Martin Blackwood < mblackwood@magnusinstitute.edu >

subject: RE: RE: RE:

Martin,

    I tried Knowing why that was, and it’s just some kid who liked Jurgen Leitner and thought it would be funny. I can’t tell much more than that. I assume something has gone wrong for her since she read that article. Should we bother doing something about it?  As far as I can tell, the worst that is going to happen is she’s going to quote articles at us. 

Jon Sims, Head Archivist, the Magnus Institute

VIGILO~OPPERIOR~AUDIO

 

Complaints 28-396: Note: Although this section does make up the majority of the complaints you have received, I think the frequency by which they came in is rather alarming. These are from Tim Stoker. All of them. Every day, when he clocked in, when he took a lunch break, when he came back from lunch, and when he clocked out, he sent in a form. He made up for weekends by submitting 12 complaints on Mondays. My personal favorite of the 368 complaints is from October 20th, which is the one I have included. These complaints started July 30th and ended November 30th. 92 days of 4 complaints each. [1][2][3][4][5][6] He did miss a few days, but Mr. Blackwood filled in for him on those days. I won’t count those as different from this, though. 

 

Your Name: Tim Stoker

Status:_X__Employee            ____ Faculty

____ Statement Giver  Other (Specify) ________________________

Complaint Information 

Date of Incident: Ongoing (submitted October 20th, 2016)

Location of Incident: the Archives

Name(s) of Employee(s) Involved: Jon Sims

Please describe the incident in detail: Jon Sims has been stalking me for the past several months. He may be getting help from the police officer Basira Hussain, who he’s probably having some relations with- but that’s a different story. [7][8][9] Today, Martin found him looking at pictures of my house. He claimed it was for a review, but he doesn’t do those. Please help. [10][11][12][13][14][15]

If there are others who have witnessed the incident, please provide their names: Sasha James, Martin Blackwood

Is this the first time you have raised this concern about this person?

____ Yes 

_X__  No

 

[1] Tim Stoker mark this as resolved, i guess

    [2] Jon Sims I was trying to rule you all out as murder suspects, and also we were under the influence of what replaced Sasha James, which made us suspicious. Jennifer Barnes, think of this as a side effect of something in Artifact Storage. It wasn’t exactly that, but it was close enough. 

        [3] Basira Hussain Did you really take photos of his house? 

            [4] Jon Sims Yes. 

    [5] Jennifer Barnes This article has already been marked as resolved due to the resolution of conflict in-person on January 4th. Fun fact: the nucleus of comet 118P/Shoemaker-Levy is approximately 4.8 kilometers. 

        [6] Jennifer Barnes If problems like the one mentioned above occur again, the most common course of action is reporting them directly to Artifact Storage. (This article is a stub. You can help Wikipedia by expanding it.) Fun fact: Carol Blanche Cotton’s work on children with spastic paralysis- their more exaggerated responses to given prompts- claims that these children are affected by cortical injuries, but has yet to be truly proven. 

[7] Basira Hussain Tim? Any reason this went to HR? 

    [8] Tim Stoker i thought it would be mildly relevant and embarrassing for him. i know now that you’re a lesbian but i didnt at the time. also are we just going to ignore those fun facts? thats what ive been doing but i want to make sure theres a group consensus

        [9] Jon Sims He didn’t think I had anyone who would visit me for any reason, like being friends. Or handing out evidence in order to find out if I was the murderer. I Know,  however, that he thinks I’m pretty enough that you would put up with my assholeishness for that, which I’ll take as a compliment and as revenge. And I think that’s what we’re doing. 

 

[10] Tim Stoker how did you even get a photo of my house

    [11] Jon Sims I did several stakeouts. I’m not proud of what I did. 

        [12] Alice Tonner why didnt you contact the police

            [13] Tim Stoker elias pointed out that the police usually dont care what happens at the magnus institute

                [14] Jennifer Barnes The police have taken several cases that were brought to their attention by the HR department of the Magnus Institute. These cases include, but are not limited to, Vide from Artifact Storage’s report of stalking by Shawn Meltger, the threats of violence by Fiona Del Rey on Shawn Meltger, the sexual harassment case involving James Ingrid and a person who chose to remain anonymous post-investigation, and the possible forced suicide of Herbert Scissors in 1939. Fun fact: Mody Kidon is an Israeli businessman who was born on September 17th, 1954. 

                    [15] Elias Bouchard The police dislike getting involved in the… odd things that happen in Artifact Storage and in the Archives. Everything else is perfectly normal. 



from: Martin Blackwood < mblackwood@magnusinstitute.edu >

to:Jon Sims < jsims@magnusinstitute.edu >  

subject: RE: RE: RE: RE:

Jon! Just because you don't like her doesn’t mean we should just ignore it! Books by leitner aren't well known for being harmless, and i doubt that this page is either. She’s just doing her job with this whole complaints thing. Also, she has started to speak only in sentences that follow the grammatical structure of wikipedia and not just quote articles at us. Something is up

Martin Blackwood, Archival Assistant, the Magnus Institute

VIGILO~OPPERIOR~AUDIO



Complaint 397: Note: This occurred in the middle of Tim’s complaints, but I decided to group all of those together for ease of counting. 

Your Name: Dustin Prescott

Status:_X__Employee            ____ Faculty

____ Statement Giver  Other (Specify) ________________________

Complaint Information 

Date of Incident: September 19th, 2016

Location of Incident: the break room

Name(s) of Employee(s) Involved: Jon Sims

Please describe the incident in detail: I came into the break room last week to, well, take my break from Artifact Storage. When I came in, I didn’t see anyone, but shortly after, Martin Blackwood came in to make some tea. We made small talk for a bit, and then he left. I was making my lunch then, and when we were alone, I heard a noise from underneath the tea cabinet. When I opened it, assuming it was a mouse, I found Mr. Sims curled under the shelves [1][2][3][4][5] with a tape recorder. He turned the recorder off and rolled out, then asked me if I had been watching as Martin made tea, and if he put anything in it. I was weirded out, but I told him he put honey, milk, and almond milk in. He demanded I tell him which tea boxes he used, and I pointed them to him. He grabbed all of them and left. I don’t know what’s wrong, but I don’t think that’s normal. [6][7][8][9]

If there are others who have witnessed the incident, please provide their names: 

Is this the first time you have raised this concern about this person?

_X__Yes 

____ No

 

[1] Alice Tonner are you really that small? ive been into the break room and it is not a big space. also, what the hell

    [2] Tim Stoker agreed, what the fuck

        [3] Jon Sims I thought he was trying to poison me and wanted proof. I also hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep. And had stopped eating. I was very uncomfortable in that cabinet, but I didn’t care. 

            [4] Basira Hussain Do we still have this tape? 

                [5] Jon Sims No, I set it on fire the day Elias showed me the CCTV. 

 

[6] Martin Blackwood this is why i had to re-purchase everything i used to make tea? 

    [7] Jon Sims Sorry. If I make it back to the Archives alive, tea’s on me for as long as we live. If you remember how much it was, I can pay you back. 

        [8] Martin Blackwood it wasn’t very much, don’t worry about it.

            [9] Tim Stoker *vomits*



from: Jon Sims < jsims@magnusinstitute.edu

to: Martin Blackwood < mblackwood@magnusinstitute.edu >

subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: 

Maybe try to email her about it? Or talk to her about it in the break room? She would believe you if you acted like you were interested in her in that way, if you want to try it like that. Something along the lines of “hey, so are you interested in Wikipedia deep dives? Would you like to talk about them over coffee” or whatever. If you want to do follow-up on this, just do that. If you don’t want to, don’t bother. 

Jon Sims, Head Archivist, the Magnus Institute

VIGILO~OPPERIOR~AUDIO



Complaint 398:

Your Name: Kenosha Viola

Status:____ Employee    __X__Faculty

 ___Statement Giver  Other (Specify) ________________________

Complaint Information 

Date of Incident: October 8th 2016

Location of Incident: the Archives

Name(s) of Employee(s) Involved: Jon Sims

Please describe the incident in detail: Mr. Sims managed to break into the CCTV security room and locked me out. I only found out that it was him when he left, a week after the first day I couldn’t get into the room. He should not be allowed to do this. [1][2][3][4][5]

If there are others who have witnessed the incident, please provide their names: 

Is this the first time you have raised this concern about this person?

_X__ Yes 

____ No

 

[1] Jon Sims Fun fact: the CCTV tapes for the day Gertrude died were all missing. Second fun fact: we have 2,029 CCTV cameras. Third fun fact: I hate this place 

    [2] Basira Hussain We have how many CCTV cameras?

        [3] Tim Stoker fuck off Elias Bouchard why do we have so many goddamn cameras. is this why you know everything? it isnt just that, is it

            [4] Elias Bouchard They are all necessary for the function of this building. 

                [5] Tim Stoker i hate this place



Complaint 399: 

Your Name: Daisy Tonner   

Status: ____ Employee            ____ Faculty

 _X_Statement Giver  Other (Specify) ________________________

Complaint Information 

Date of Incident: December 1st, 2016

Location of Incident: the Archives

Name(s) of Employee(s) Involved: Jon Sims

Please describe the incident in detail: I don’t know how he did it, but- I went in to talk to him and he made me tell him my story. I would never have wanted to share the things I told him with him, because I haven’t told anyone those things. I know you deal with the paranormal, and believe me when I say that this is not normal. [1]

If there are others who have witnessed the incident, please provide their names: 

Is this the first time you have raised this concern about this person?

_X__Yes

____ No

                   

[1] Alice Tonner i dont care about this anymore



from: Martin Blackwood < mblackwood@magnusinstitute.edu >

to:Jon Sims < jsims@magnusinstitute.edu >  

subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE:

Tim is the one you should contact if you want someone seduced. I am not doing that. I can email her something and forward you the response. Also, this emailing stuff is dumb, my number is 778-330-2389. 

Martin Blackwood, Archival Assistant, the Magnus Institute

VIGILO~OPPERIOR~AUDIO



Complaint 400:

Your Name: Tessa Winters

Status: ____ Employee            ____ Faculty

 _X_Statement Giver  Other (Specify) ________________________

Complaint Information 

Date of Incident: January 7th 2017

Location of Incident: the Archives

Name(s) of Employee(s) Involved: Jon Sims, Tim Stoker

Please describe the incident in detail: Mr. Sims asked me to stay back and fix a computer for him. I helped him out, but when Mr. Stoker came in, they started fighting and it ended with Mr. Stoker muttering something under his breath about murder. I’d like to at least report this instead of just letting it happen, because he didn’t seem like he was kidding. [1][2][3][4][5][6]

If there are others who have witnessed the incident, please provide their names: 

Is this the first time you have raised this concern about this person?

_X__ Yes

____ No

 

[1] Tim Stoker i was just discussing how he was obsessed with gertrudes murder

    [2] Jennifer Barnes Your contribution to Wikipedia has been submitted. Thank you for your help in expanding the ever-changing, infinite source of human knowledge that is Wikipedia!

        [3] Martin Blackwood hey Jon Sims i really think we should be doing something about this. 

            [4] Jon Sims I’ll try. She doesn’t seem to be noticing our discussion of this subject. Jennifer Barnes can you say something that isn’t in the third person, please? For a bet. 

                [5] Jennifer Barnes  The page you have requested does not exist. You can ask for it to be created. There were no results matching the query. 

                    [6] Jon Sims While that was technically second person, I am not reassured. 



Complaint 401:

Your Name: Melanie King

Status: ____ Employee            ____ Faculty

 _X__Statement Giver  Other (Specify) ________________________

Complaint Information 

Date of Incident: February 16th 2017

Location of Incident: the Archives

Name of Employee(s) Involved: Jon Sims

Please describe the incident in detail: he keeps telling me that I’m wrong about Sasha being a different person, to the point where I think he’s gaslighting me. Please stop him from doing this, I think I’m losing my mind at this point and it’s his fault. 

If there are others who have witnessed the incident, please provide their names: 

Is this the first time you have raised this concern about this person?

____ Yes

_X__ No [1][2][3][4]

 

[1] Jon Sims Are you sure you meant to tick this box? Your other complaint wasn’t the same as this one. 

    [2] Melanie King i read it as is this the first time you’ve raised a concern about this person

        [3] Jennifer Barnes MGM Studios, Inc. v. Grokster, Ltd. Supreme Court of the United States Argued March 29, 2005 Decided June 27, 2005 Full case name Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios, Inc., et al. v. Grokster, Ltd., et al.Docket no.04-480Citations545 U.S. 913 (more) 125 S. Ct. 2764; 162 L. Ed. 2d 781; 2005 U.S. LEXIS 5212; 75 U.S.P.Q.2d (BNA) 1001; 33 Media L. Rep. 1865; 18 Fla. L. Weekly Fed. S 547 Case history Prior Motion to dismiss denied, 243 F. Supp. 2d 1073 (C.D. Cal. 2003); summary judgment granted in part to defendants, 259 F. Supp. 2d 1029 (C.D. Cal. 2003); plaintiffs' motion to dismiss counterclaims granted in part, 269 F. Supp. 2d 1213 (C.D. Cal. 2003); affirmed, 380 F.3d 1154 (9th Cir. 2004); cert. granted, 543 U.S. 1032 (2004).SubsequentRemanded, 419 F.3d 1005 (9th Cir. 2005); summary judgment opinion on remand, 454 F. Supp. 2d 966 (C.D. Cal. 2006).HoldingProducers of technology who promote the ease of infringing on copyrights can be sued for inducing copyright infringement committed by their users. Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals vacated and remanded.Court membership Chief Justice William Rehnquist Associate Justices John P. Stevens · Sandra Day O'Connor Antonin Scalia · Anthony Kennedy David Souter · Clarence Thomas Ruth Bader Ginsburg · Stephen Breyer Case opinions Majority Souter, joined by unanimous Concurrence Ginsburg, joined by Rehnquist, Kennedy Concurrence Breyer, joined by Stevens,O'Connor Laws applied Copyright Act of 1976

            [4] Tim Stoker fuck



Complaint 402: 

 

Your Name: Sasha James [1][2][3][4][5] 

Status:_X__Employee            ____ Faculty

____ Statement Giver  Other (Specify) ________________________

Complaint Information 

Date of Incident: February 16th 2017

Location of Incident: the Archives, the tunnel system

Name(s) of Employee(s) Involved: Jon Sims

Please describe the incident in detail: He smashed a table in Artifact Storage that we needed to get rid of- but he did so without permission, and when I tried to thank him, he ran off and yelled at me. 

If there are others who have witnessed the incident, please provide their names below: 

Is this the first time you have raised this concern about this person?

_X__ Yes

____ No

 

[1] Tim Stoker seriously????

    [2] Jon Sims Apparently.

        [3] Martin Blackwood when did she even submit this? 

            [4] Jennifer Barnes (this comment was too long to display. Please click here to access the file.)

        [5] Melanie King :) :) :) 



Message History with: jon </3

That file was the entirety of the Wikipedia article on the Earth. I would assume she copied and pasted it, but there are no photos, and no links, and when I tried to copy and paste it, I got an entirely different format. I think she typed it out by hand. 

 
 

thats bad

I agree.

 
 

idk

 

maybe try asking her about it

 

i mean Asking her

That would at least give us an idea of what is going on, but not necessarily tell us anything about what we can do. We don’t usually do anything, and I don’t think we can in this case.

 
 

at least itll be documented? and there will be proof that we tried?

I suppose, although I don’t know if this will work over text-based mediums. 

 
 

try on me? just through this, maybe via a phone call if that doesnt work?

You sure? 

 
 

just ask me something i wouldnt normally talk about, but nothing… bad

Alright. 

 

Statement of Martin Blackwood, regarding at what age he learned how to brush his teeth on a regular basis. Statement begins. 

 
 

15

 

ignoring my terrible hygiene habits as a tween, i can tell you that it worked. i didnt have to type out a story, i just had to answer. 

 

do you want to try one that i can really resist?

If you’re alright with it. I have to ask questions that you don’t want to answer, though. And I can’t think of much that wouldn’t be things I don’t want to know. 

 
 

just do it

 

i trust you

Thank you.

 

I’ll try just asking straight out this time. 

 

Did you have a crush on any of your professors ever?

 
 

Yes. Mr. Kenvista, math teacher in 11th year, who wore tweed every day and had just graduated college, and who made eye contact with me every time I turned in a paper. Also, Mr. Kennedy, but that was just because he was nice. 

 

okay so that worked. i was also forced to type out sentences that were grammatically correct, so it worked well enough.

It’s always the nice professors, huh. 

 

Er. Nevermind. 

 

I think that’s enough practice. Here we go. 

 

I’ll let you know if it works. 

 




Complaint 403:

Your Name: Tim Stoker

Status:__X_Employee             ____ Faculty

       Statement Giver  Other (Specify) ________________________

Complaint Information 

Date of Incident: February 16th 2017

Location of Incident: the tunnels beneath the Institute

Name(s) of Employee(s) Involved: Jon Sims, Michael [1][2][3], Martin Blackwood

Please describe the incident in detail: jon fucking murdered someone? and then martin and i got kidnapped by some asshole who gave me the vague impression of being an employee, for some reason, and at this point i dont care that he might not be. im not going to bother talking about sasha james, who i also want to report here, who turned into a horrifying unknown beast and made me go into michaels hallways for a week, and additionally kidnapped the actual sasha

If there are others who have witnessed the incident, please provide their names below: martin blackwood

Is this the first time you have raised this concern about this person?

_X__ Yes but only because its murder.  

_____ No

 

[1] Jon Sims Turns out Michael was an employee. The time he tried to kill me, before Helen showed up and took over his body, he gave me a statement regarding himself and Gertrude. He was her assistant for years, and then she used him to disrupt the ritual of the Spiral. 

    [2] Martin Blackwood was that before or after you were kidnapped by nikola? 

        [3] Tim Stoker i hate the fact that the sentence martin just said makes sense



Complaint 404: Error, complaint of Michael Shelley not found [1][2][3]

 

[1] Melanie King i like helen a lot better than what i know of him

    [2] Basira Hussain Agreed. By the way, have you seen her around recently? 

        [3] Melanie King if by recently you mean today, she was stealing paper from the copy machine and eating it



Complaint 405: 

Your Name: Martin Blackwood

Status:_X__Employee           _____ Faculty

       Statement Giver  Other (Specify) ________________________

Complaint Information 

Date of Incident: February 16th

Location of Incident: the Archives/the tunnels  

Name(s) of Employee(s) Involved: Jon Sims

Please describe the incident in detail: he killed someone? Apparently?  And then ran off, leaving Tim and I to do all the work, plus the whole tea supply is missing. Again. 

If there are others who have witnessed the incident, please provide their names below: Tim Stoker

Is this the first time you have raised this concern about this person?

_X__ Yes 

____ No



Complaint 406: 

Your Name: Basira Hussain

Status:_X__Employee            _____ Faculty

_____Statement Giver  Other (Specify) ________________________

Complaint Information 

Date of Incident: April 28th 2017

Location of Incident: the Archives

Name(s) of Employee(s) Involved: Jon Sims, Elias Bouchard

Please describe the incident in detail: I know it says up there to complain about Elias Bouchard to him, so that he can ignore it by himself, [1][2][3][4][5][6] but I’d like to put this here with Jon as well. He got me hired, but my current work relationship is closer to “hostage” than to “paid employee”. This is Jon’s fault, because if he wasn’t a wanted murderer, this never would’ve happened. Also, Elias is now a murderer! Who admitted to the crime Jon was under suspicion for. You can’t do anything, but I’d like to ensure you’re informed. 

If there are others who have witnessed the incident, please provide their names below: Daisy Tonner

Is this the first time you have raised this concern about this person?

_X__Yes 

____ No

 

[1] Tim Stoker hey can we get rid of that rule

    [2] Elias Bouchard No. 

        [3] Melanie King i shouldve killed you when jon told me not to

            [4] Jennifer Barnes Side one "Wild World" – 3:22 "Oh Very Young" – 2:34 "Can't Keep It In" – 2:59 "Hard Headed Woman" – 3:49 "Moonshadow" – 2:49 "Two Fine People" – 3:33 Side two "Peace Train" – 4:13 "Ready" – 3:16 "Father and Son" – 3:41 "Sitting" – 3:13 "Morning Has Broken" (Eleanor Farjeon) – 3:18 "Another Saturday Night" (Sam Cooke) – 2:29

                [5] Basira Hussain Should we do anything about her? I don’t think this is normal, even for an employee of the Magnus Institute. 

                        [6] Martin Blackwood jon’s working on a plan, i think



Message history with: Martin B

have you Known anything about the jennifer situation yet?                                                            

 
 

Not yet. I was kidnapped just yesterday, forced to use my “powers”, and I am not up for using any more Knowing before I get at least two nights of sleep. 

again? 

 
 

Yes. 

by who?

 
 

Remember Trevor Herbert and Julia Montauk?

you’re kidding

 
 

Nope.

sorry again about the grapevine thing with herbert

 

i’m going to buy you a coffee when this is all over

 
 

Not your fault, and I’ll be sure to remember that

 

For when I get back. For coffee.

 

Because I enjoy coffee on occasion.

atm you need to get some rest! and then save the hr department

 
 

You’re one to talk.

 

It’s 3:15 AM over there

 

Your alarm is 3 minutes fast, by the way.

that is something i did not need to know at the moment

 

or ever, unless you were here to see it and cared

 

not that youd be in my bedroom for any reason

 
 

Right. No reason.

yep! 

 
 

And I just Knew that, it wasn’t like I was thinking about you, just to clarify. 

 

I mean, I was thinking about you because we’re texting, but I wasn’t focused on it. It just happens.

 

Sorry. 

makes sense. 

 

so 

 
 

So. 

i guess ill get some rest, then? 

 
 

I’ll talk to you when I get up tomorrow, let you know how it’s going over here. 

 

If you think that’s a good idea.

 

Just to make sure I haven’t been kidnapped.

talk to you then, then

 
 

Talk to you tomorrow.

good night from over here! 

 
 

Good night to you.

see you! 

 
 

You won’t, unless we video chat

 

Which is unnecessary.

 

Although it would make sure there isn’t another situation where my kidnapper is using my phone like with Prentiss. 

maybe you should then? video call me tomorrow, i mean. 

 

it wont be too early or late over here, depending on when you wake up.

 

not like anyone’s getting a lot of sleep over here anyway!

 
 

Have you been having to do lots of work to make up for my absence? You really should send them over to me, especially with my… new diet.

hows that going by the way? 

 
 

hi! this is julia, one of jon’s kidnappers. he’s in the car with us, and he won’t stop smiling at his phone and making small noises, so im taking it from him. talk to your boyfriend later.

 

also, you’ve said goodbye three or four times by now. just leave! 

hes not my boyfri

 

fine. tell jon goodbye

 

again

 

 

 

Complaint 407:

Your Name: Melanie King

Status:_X__Employee          _____ Faculty

_____ Statement Giver  Other (Specify) ________________________

Complaint Information 

Date of Incident: June 1st, 2017

Location of Incident: Elias’ office

Name(s) of Employee(s) Involved: Jon Sims, Elias Bouchard

Please describe the incident in detail: the dumb motherfucker stopped me from killing the bastard who is making my life, and his life, and everyone’s life hell. 

If there are others who have witnessed the incident, please provide their names below: Elias Bouchard

Is this the first time you have raised this concern about this person?

_X__Yes 

____ No



from: Jon Sims < jsims@magnusinstitute.edu

to: Jennifer Barnes < jbarnes@magnusinstitute.edu >

subject: Statement of Jennifer Barnes, regarding the nature of a Wikipedia page she just read.

Statement begins. 

Jon Sims, Head Archivist, the Magnus Institute

VIGILO~OPPERIOR~AUDIO



Complaint 408: Note: this is the first of the complaints regarding things that Mr. Sims knew about people, presumably from spying on them. 

Your Name:  Angela Lamarre

Status:_X__Employee          ____ Faculty

_____ Statement Giver  Other (Specify) ________________________

Complaint Information 

Date of Incident: June 2nd, 2017 [1][2]

Location of Incident: the break room

Name(s) of Employee(s) Involved: Jon Sims

Please describe the incident in detail: I took the last drop of coffee from the pot, and I put my mug down to find some coffee grounds. I found the creamer first, and I put it up by my drink when Jon Sims walked in. He looked at me and assumed I wasn’t going to make coffee, [3][4][5][6][7] and he said, “Your boyfriend has been cheating on you for three weeks and has gotten pregnant. He doesn’t know, and neither does the father.” When I went home and brought it up, my boyfriend admitted to cheating. I don’t know how he could’ve known this without stalking me and my now-ex, and I’m honestly scared. 

If there are others who have witnessed the incident, please provide their names below: Alicia Jacobs

Is this the first time you have raised this concern about this person?

 _X__Yes 

____ No

 

[1] Martin Blackwood weren’t you only back for a week or so before you left for china? 

    [2] Jon Sims It was a very busy week, and I kept running into people. 

 

[3] Jon Sims She was not, in fact, planning to make coffee. I Knew that, as a matter of fact. 

    [4] Tim Stoker that doesnt mean you ruin her life?

        [5] Jon Sims I had just gotten back from a month of being tortured while strapped to a chair and forcefully moisturized. 

            [6] Alice Tonner she… moisturized you

                [7] Jon Sims She wanted to skin me for the ritual. 



from: Jennifer Barnes < jbarnes@magnusinstitute.edu >

to: Jon Sims < jsims@magnusinstitute.edu >

subject: RE: Statement of Jennifer Barnes, regarding the nature of a Wikipedia page she just read

 

    Results for “Statement begins.”:

    Jennifer Barnes (b. 1987) is the department head of HR at the Magnus Institute . She is most well known for her reading of the Wikipedia page on Wikipedia itself. The page has since had a number of effects on her day-to-day life, including difficulty speaking words that are not directly quoted from a Wikipedia page or in the format of a Wikipedia page. 

Contents:

  • The page 
  • Effects in full
  • A cry for help



The Page Itself

    The Wikipedia page read by Barnes was published on May 16th , 2017 and edited by a single person, under the username Jurgen Leitner. It did not align with the page on Wikipedia found by searching for it, instead only coming up when she clicked “ Random article” out of boredom. The contents focused on the amount of information contained on the website, especially the English website , but inclusive of all languages. There was emphasis on the sheer infinitude of it all, and the idea of irrelevance of information. One of the paragraphs, which was the true hook for Barnes, discussed the idea of Rule 34 as it applies to Wikipedia- i.e., things that exist having pages on Wikipedia. The conclusion it drew was that she did not, in fact, exist, as she did not have a Wikipedia page, nor any pornography of her that she was aware of. 

    In an interview with Jon Sims , she claims to have a foggy memory of the page, even when viewing it. The rest of the website, however, forces itself into her brain constantly, overloading her senses and inflicting upon her the enormity of the subject. 

 

Effects in Full 

    Known effects of reading the page include :

  • A sense of futility
  • An inability to speak in ways discordant with Wikipedia standards
  • Nigh-infinite, ever-changing knowledge of the 3,620,392,069 words on the website as of 1:59 AM on Tuesday, 6/16/2020
  • Knowledge of future pages on Wikipedia up to 6/16/20
  • Frequent headaches
  • Vomiting
  • Paralysis at the computer where she sits
    • Excluding hands, which are used to type and research more as it is needed
  • A strong desire to create pages on every topic the affected subject can think of
  • Inability to speak in first person

    These are not the full effects- more research is needed to determine the full symptoms of exposure. 

 

The Cry for Help

    Although Barnes cannot speak in first person, she often asks for help from whoever is listening, specifically Jon Sims as mentioned above. This is no way for a person to live, in her opinion, and even if the only option left for her is death, she would rather die by someone else’s hand than by starvation and dehydration. 

 

(This article needs additional citations for verification. Please help improve this article by adding citations to reliable sources. Unsourced material may be challenged and removed.)

 

Jennifer Barnes, HR Director, The Magnus Institute

VIGILO~OPPERIOR~AUDIO



Complaint 409: 

Your Name: Jakobe Godbold

Status:_X__Employee            _____ Faculty

_____ Statement Giver  Other (Specify) ________________________

Complaint Information 

Date of Incident: June 2nd, 2017

Location of Incident: the break room

Name(s) of Employee(s) Involved: Jon Sims

Please describe the incident in detail: I came into the break room at lunch to, well, get my lunch. Jon Sims was asleep at the table. There wasn’t another person in the room, and so I tapped him on the shoulder. He woke up and glared at me. I raised my arms, in order to show that I didn’t mean harm, and he just. Looked into my eyes, and suddenly I had a vision of what I knew to be my stomach lining. I vomited right after. I also reported this to Artifact Storage, but I think what he did was malicious. [1][2][3][4]

If there are others who have witnessed the incident, please provide their names below: 

Is this the first time you have raised this concern about this person?

 _X__Yes 

____ No

 

[1] Melanie King jon what the fuck

    [2] Basira Hussain Seconded. 

        [3] Jon Sims I was tired? 

            [4] Alice Tonner not a good enough explanation. if i find out youre doing this after you get back from america, im hunting you down



Message history with: jon </3

 

i got the email you forwarded me

 

im not entirely sure how to fix this, though

Maybe just publish that to Wikipedia? She would then have a page, solving some problems.

 
 

i dont have an account, but i can create one if you think it’ll help

I’ve got one, don’t worry about it. 

 
 

wait, you have a wikipedia account?

Yes.

 
 

why?

I… may or may not have spent my free time in college correcting people’s grammar and citations on Wikipedia. 

 
 

is that why you were so pissy about my citations at work? 

Yes. I really should’ve just shown you how to do it. 

 
 

you assumed i would know, as a person with a masters in parapsychology

Heh. Yeah.

 

You wanted me to, maybe, call you to make sure I wasn’t dead? I know we spoke this morning, but I’m getting bored. 

 
 

if youve got time at the moment, im free

Sounds good. See you soon. 

 



Complaint 410: 

Your Name: Tanner Di Peitro

Status: _X__Employee         _____ Faculty

____ Statement Giver  Other (Specify) ________________________

Complaint Information 

Date of Incident: June 2nd, 2017

Location of Incident: the entrance hall

Name(s) of Employee(s) Involved: Jon Sims

Please describe the incident in detail: As I was trying to leave for the day, I got a call on my phone. I picked up, and it was him. This in itself is odd, since I never gave him my number, and it isn’t in the directory. He told me “first of all, fuck off, and second of all, use the non-rotating doors or else.” I was freaked out. I did what he said, but as I did so, the rotating doors just shattered. There was no one in there, but what he said saved my life. I called him back to ask him about it, but the only thing he said when he picked up was “Martin said I should be using this for at least some kind of good”. There’s a lot going on here, but I feel like this is your jurisdiction. 

If there are others who have witnessed the incident, please provide their names below: Rosie O’Hale, Jake Castilla

Is this the first time you have raised this concern about this person?

_X__Yes 

____ No




from: Jennifer Barnes < jbarnes@magnusinstitute.edu >

to: Jon Sims < jsims@magnusinstitute.edu

CC: Martin Blackwood < mblackwood@magnusinstitute.edu >,  Elias Bouchard < ebouchard@magnusinstitute.edu >, Basira Hussain < bhussain@magnusinstitute.edu >, Sasha James < sjames@magnusinstitute.edu >, Melanie King < mking@magnusinstitute.edu >, Tim Stoker < tstoker@magnustinstitute.edu >, Alice Tonner < alice.tonner@cityoflondonpd.gov.uk

subject: Complaints

Hi again all,

    As you may know, I was recently sucked into a Wikipedia page and the only reason I have not been sucked into the computer is because Jon published an article about me on said website. As a show of gratitude, and also because I cannot do much more work while trying to recover from this, we can stop going through the complaints above. Thank you for your participation. Jon, please never contact me again. I appreciate the… additions to my typed-up page you added on, but they were very unnecessary.

    Also, Elias, I would like to take the week off. Let me know in private if that works for you. 

    Thanks!

Jennifer Barnes, HR Director, The Magnus Institute

VIGILO~OPPERIOR~AUDIO