Chapter Text
Zack and mime bomb burst out the door and race down the steps, they race through the streets and start hedgin towards the forest.
Zack "Hury up!"
After awhile zack and mime bomb stop running, and try to catch there breath.
Mime bomb "Hey thanks for getting me out of there."
Zack "Hey the burger's probably wouldn't taste as good if you weren't there."
Zack looks at the big bag of weed.
Zack "I don't remember why I grabbed this."
Suddenly, they hear what sounds like a coyote in the distance.
Mime bomb "What's that?"
Zack "Probably just a coyote."
Mime bomb "Aren't people supposed to be scared of coyotes?"
Zack "That's only because they sound scary. In one on one combat, ether one of us can take down a coyote."
Then a cheetah jumps out from behind the bushes and let's out a monstrous roar.
Zack "Now cheetahs are another story!"
The cheetah hisses at zack and mime bomb.
Mime bomb "Where going to die."
Zack "No, no, no hold on, cheetahs are used to eating zebras and shit. There not known for eating human."
Whith that the cheetah walks over to a nearby bush and pulls out the lower half of a body.
Mime bomb "Where going to die."
Zack "Shit that's not a good sign, maybe if we just stay really, really still it'll go away."
Zack and mime bomb stay as quiet as possible, as the cheetah starts walking toward mime bomb.
Mime bomb "This isn't working!"
Zack "Calm down."
The cheetah opens it's mouth wide and chomps down on what appears to be mime bombs thigh area.
Mime bombs eyes go wide as he tries not to scream. This goes on for about ten seconds until mime bomb looks down and notices that the cheetah is in fact not eating him. His is eating beef jerky that was in his pants. Mime bomb falls to the ground relieved that he hasn't be eaten. The cheetah walks over to him and starts liking his face in friendship.
Zack "why do you still have beef jerky?"
Mime bomb "Oh I hid it in my pants and the cops thought it was my..."
Zack "But why?"
Mime bomb "Didn't know if I was going to get hungry."
Suddenly zack's eyes light up.
Zack "I have in idea."
"This is ether a really smart move or by far the stupidest thing we've done tonight." Mime bomb signed on the back of the cheetah, hugging zack by the waste. Zack now has his belt around the cheetah's neck like a riding horse.
Zack "Where about to find out, mush!"
Nothing happens.
Mime bomb "I told you this was s-"
The cheetah takes off like lightning with zack and mime bomb on it's back. Even though it makes absolute no sense, the cheetah starts zooming past streets and forests. Over major highways and cars. Zack, mime bomb, and the cheetah hit forest area again when, SMACK! Branch hits mime bomb right in the face, knocking him off the cheetah. Mime bomb lands on the ground, hitting his head and knocking him unconscious.
All of a sudden it's all black and mime bomb begins to fall down a pit of darkness, it doesn't take long for him a hard red concrete floor. It takes him a moment to get up but when he does he notices hes in a long red tinted hallway with red doors. He starts to walk down the hallway and opens one of the doors to his left, in there is him from a couple weeks ago when he was on that mission with neil there sitting on a roof of a abandoned factory watching the sunrise a stolen bottle of liquor between them.
Neil "So you want to tell me what you deal is?"
Mime bomb looks down off the edge and tenses up.
Neil "Look I'm not going to force it out of you but it would make a lot of this easier."
Neil grabs the bottle and takes a drink.
Mime bomb "It... it was a lot of things vile, my dad, all of my life, just being ignored by everyone and yelled at slash loved by my dad plus being punished for just being alive at vile, just caused so much hurt."
Neil "Man that sounds bad."
He passes mime bomb the bottle. Mime bomb just stares at it not sure what to do.
Neil "Oh come on, yes, no?"
Mime bomb grabs the bottle and takes a little sip.
Neil "Heh, you're cute."
Mime bomb looks away but you can kinda see the blush from under his makeup.
Neil "No I mean it, you're absolutely adorable."
Neil takes mime bombs chin and forces him to look at him. He also uses this opportunity to pull there faces closer.
Neil "You ever around someone that makes you feel like you can barely breathe?"
Mime bomb closes the gap between them and kisses him. Neil goes down and starts to kiss his neck and all of a sudden mime bomb feels him licking which is something he doesn't remember.
Neil "Mime bomb, mime bomb."
Mime bomb wakes up to find zack licking his face and pushes him away.
Mime bomb "What the hell are you doing!"
Zack "I'm sorry you've been out cold for the past half-hour, I figured maybe if I did some gay stuff you'd wake up."
Mime bomb wipes his face with his sleeve. He gets up and notices there by a random road, all by themselves.
Mime bomb "What happened to the cheetah?"
Zack "It ran away, but forget about that, I have bad news and I have worse news."
Mime bomb "What's the worse news?"
Zack "Well I checked out some road signs and it looks like the cheetah took us in the wrong direction."
Mime bomb "Well that sucks, what's the bad news?"
Zack "You're communicator thingy is completely destroyed."
Mime bomb "What!"
Zack "You landed on it when you fell off the cheetah."
Mime bomb "Why the hell didn't you say that was the worst news?"
Zack "Well the communicator only effects you, whereas the white castle situation effects both of us equally."
Mime bomb "Oh no, no, no. This is bad, how... vile... oh god."
As mime bomb begins to another panic attack they hear loud rap music playing in the distance, zack and mime bomb slowly tear around and see zack's car airborne as it scales a hill, the car lands causing sparks to fly from the shocks. Neil patric harris is driving the car with four hot chicks in bikinis. The chicks are all over neil kissing his neck and each other. Zack and mime bomb stand there speechless as neil drives right by them splashing a puddle right in mime bombs face. They stand there, watching silently as neil drives off. Mime bomb is drenched and his makeup is ruined. Muddy water drips from his hair and clothes, he gives zack a dirty look. Zack knows he shouldn't push him any further.
Zack "let's see if we can get a cab back to are hotel."
Mime bomb poorly fighting back tears simply nods yes.
Zack and mime bomb walk down the road zack visibly disappointed and mime bomb miserable. They round a corner and see the hotdog heaven.
"Hey look a pay phone." Zack points over to the side of the building. "We can call from there."
Zack and mime bomb walk over to the parking lot. Their skateboards sitting nearby. Unfortunately they notice a familiar yellow jeep covered in stickers.
Zack "Oh great, here we go again."
Cole and the extreme sports punks are playing hacky-sack in the parking lot. They try to pass by the extreme sports punks undetected but sadly they fail.
Cole "Hey gingy!"
Cole laughs and the two try to ignore him.
Cole "Whose running the quik-e-mart while you're gone?"
Cole pounds his fists with his friends.
Zack "Fucking asshole."
Suddenly mime bomb stops in his tracks. He notices something through the window he stops zack and points. Through the window they see le chevre and el topo inside, sitting at a both. They both have a dozen donuts and five cartons of milk. It looks as if they just sat down. El topo savers his first bite of a powdered blueberry filled donut and le chevre licks his fingers after finishing his first chocolate cream filled donut. Zack and mime bomb look through the window longingly.
Mime bomb "I want that."
Zack "A chocolate cream filled?"
Mime bomb "No, I want that feeling. That feeling that comes over a man when he gets exactly what he desires. I need that feeling."
Zack "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"
Mime bomb "We gotta go to white castle."
Zack gives mime bomb a hug.
Zack "I knew you had it in you."
Before ether of them can say anything else mime bomb gets hit in the back of the head with a hacky-sack, cole and his friends laugh at him.
Zack "Hey why don't you leave us alone!"
Cole "Oh yeah what are you going to do about it?"
Cole then act's like a mime trapped in a box.
The two are quiet for a moment as they look at cole's little routine. Then mime bomb let's out a laugh, before turning around and walking through the hotdog heaven entrance. Zack follows and in the background cole and the punks are laughing about how lame mime bomb is.
Zack "I'm so sick of their bullshit!"
Mime bomb "Don't worry the universe tends to unfold as it should."
Zack gives him a "what the fuck are you talking about" look.
Mime bomb "Besides I have a plan, follow my lead."
Mime bomb walks past the entrance and heads toward the yellow jeep at a brisk pace. Zack follows. Mime bomb grabs cole's keys from the hood of the jeep and passes them to zack whose on the driver's side and they get in. One of the extreme sports punks notices them.
Sports punk 3 "Hey, cole, look!"
Cole turns around and sees the two of them in his car. Zack puts the car in reverse and almost hits the punks.
Zack "I can't believe where stealing their car, this was your plan?"
Mime bomb "It's working isn't it?"
Zack drives the car out of the parking lot. Cole and the street punks give chase on their skateboards.
Zack "I have in idea."
Zack slows down to 25 miles per hour so so they think they have a chance to catch up.
Zack then sticks his head out the window "thank you come agen." He says thickening his boston accent.
Zack then guns it leving them in the dust. Cole and the punks watch in disbelief as zack and mime bomb drive off with their car.
Sports punk 1 "Dude, that was NOT extreme!"
Cole "I know extrem sports punk 1, I know."
The extreme sports punks walk away leving cole by himself. Meanwhile zack gives mime bomb a high five as they laugh in joy at what they just accomplished.
Zack "Victory is sweet, nice job mime!"
Mime bomb "Well I had to do something."
Zack begins sniffing the air.
Zack "Do you smell that?"
Mime bomb sniffes the air as well and turns to the back seat. He reaches to the back and picks something up from the floor. It's a white castle bag. He pours out the contents and we see empty white castle hamburger cartons fall out.
Zack "Those assholes got to have white castle!"
Mime bomb "This world is so unfair."
Zack "Don't worry, forget about that. We have a car now, we're back in the game pretty soon will have are own white castle. Hey how bout you put on some tunes."
A tape is currently resting in the tape deck so mime bomb just pushes it in. Zack and mime bomb start to giggle at the lame chick song that's playing. (Hollaback girl by Gwen Stefani)
Zack "Those guys are fucking posers!"
Zack and mime bomb are driving for awhile, and are getting very close to cherry hill. They are listening to yet another lame chick song (Wannabe by the spice girls) and are fully embracing it. The guy's notices the charry hill exit and take it while zack questions every thing but mime bombs enjoys himself as they listen to the next song. (Attention by Todrick Holl)
A sign reads you are now entering charry hill.
Zack "Dude where almost there!"
Suddenly zack and mime bomb here a police siren. Mime bomb turns around and sees the police car behind them. Officer bruce a middle aged tough guy with the tooth pick in his mouth to complete it.
"I found them and I'm going to need back up." Officer Bruce speaks into his police radio.
The cop car is tailing the jeep and the jeep pulls away.
Officer Bruce "Oh boy we got a chase on are hands."
Zack looks determined as he puts the pedal to the metal.
Mime bomb "What are you doing?"
Zack "You're not going back to jail, we've come to fair, now buckle up!"
Mime bomb buckles up and zack makes a sharp left turn and flys straight before it goes around a turn in the road and then cuts into the forest, disappearing into the woods. When the cop makes the turn they pass right by the point where zack and mime bomb entered. The officer puts his foot on the brakes when he realizes there's no one in front of him. Officer bruce gets out of his car and looks around wondering where the yellow jeep went. Then he here's the sound of branches breaking in the forest.
Zack is holding onto the wheel for dear life. Mime bomb is scared as shit, as they bounce up and down.
Mime bomb "Where the hell are we going?"
Zack "Just hold on."
The jeep continues going up hill higher and higher.
Mime bomb "It's a good thing I have in empty stomach, or else I'd be puking right now!"
Zack "Don't worry, where going to make it, everything's going to be..."
They notice there about to drive off a cliff.
Mime bomb "Shit!"
Zack "Fuck!"
Zack hits the brakes as hard as he can. The jeep stops just short of the cliff. Zack and mime bomb get out of the jeep and walk over to the edge of the cliff and look down, it's a very steep drop. But mime bomb notices something in distance. Mime bomb grabs zack's arm and points toward a white castle way down below, about a mile away. Then they hear a police siren coming from back in the woods.
Mime bomb "Oh shit where trapped!"
Zack notices something on top of the jeep.
Zack "Not necessarily."
Zack walks over the the jeep and points to the hang glider.
Mime bomb "No, no way, not a chance, I'd rather turn myself in than die."
Zack "Dude, it's ok. Carm taught us how, I know how to do it, just hang onto the outside bars and let me take care of the rest."
Mime bomb "No, zack I'm not risking my life over a bunch of hamburgers."
Zack puts his hands on mime bombs shoulders.
Zack "You think this is about a bunch of hamburgers huh, well let me tell you that it's about far more than that."
Zack walks over to the edge of the cliff and looks out onto the early morning horizon. The sun's still rising the seen is very picturesque.
Zack "Are parents came to this country escaping persecution, poverty, and hunger. Hunger mime bomb. They where very, very hungry. They wanted to live in a land that treated them a equals. A land where there kids could study and get into good colleges. A land filled with hamburger stands. And not just one type of hamburger. Hundreds of types with different sizes, toppings, and condiments. That land was America."
The police siren is getting louder. Zack turns to mime bomb.
Zack "You think this is just about the burger's, no, this is about achieving what are parents seat out for. This is about the pursuit of happiness. This is about the American dream.
Zack walks over to mime bomb.
Zack "So we've reached this point, the point which all men must face, the point of no return. We can say here get arrested and end are hope of ever getting white castle. Or we can take the hang-glider and make are leap towards freedom. I leave the decision to you."
From the sound of the siren, it seems like the police are getting closer.
Mime bomb "I hate you zack."
Zack and mime bomb are about fifteen yards away from the cliffs edge holding onto the hang-glider. The siren getting louder.
Mime bomb "Hury up there almost here!"
Zack "Grab on to the end of the bars and hold on tight."
Mime bomb dose as hes told. They are both holding onto the bars(mime bomb behind zack).
Zack "Ok here's how this is going to work. On the count of three, we're gonna run to the edge of the cliff. When I say "Jump" launch your self forwarders as if you where diving into a pool, got it?"
Mime bomb gives him a nervous thumbs up.
Zack "Don't worry everything's going to be fine, you ready?"
Mime bomb to nervous to sign anything zack gets into position.
Zack "Ok here goes, one... two... three!"
Zack and mime bomb start running towards the cliff.
Zack "Good job, just keep running!"
There getting close.
Zack "Mime bomb there's something I got to tell you, I've never hang-glided before."
Mime bomb "What!"
Zack "Jump!"
Zack and mime bomb jump off the cliff just as the cop arrives. The hang-glider coats through the air for a couple of seconds. Then the guys started going down at a sharp angle.
Zack "AAAAAAAAA!"
Mime bomb "AAAAAAAAA!"
Just then the hang-glider catches onto the wind and starts to gliding through the sky.
Mime bomb "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!"
Zack "Dude it's working!"
Mime bomb "I can't wait you lied to me!"
Zack "How else was I supposed to convince you to jump off a cliff?"
Officer bruce gets out of his car holding his rifle and runs over to the jeep.
Officer Bruce "It appears they've escaped. They ditched their jeep."
Officer bruce opens the front door of the car and looks inside he notices the bag of weed on the dashboard. He opens is and tastes some in the same like sugar.
Officer Bruce "Good news, I found enough dope in the car to send those skateboard punks to jail for a long time. Looks like they've terrorized there last convenient store."
Are dipshits are gliding through the sky. Zack and mime bomb look down as they soar above the trees.
Mime bomb "Hey zack?"
Zack "Yeah?"
Mime bomb "How are we going to get down?"
Zack "Well I guess it's just going to go down at some point."
Mime bomb "That's a great answer, made me feel real comfortable, thanks a lot."
As there flying the hang-glider starts to go again the wind sending zack and mime bomb down fast.
Zack "Where going to die, where going to die!"
Mime bomb "I hate you, I hate you so much!"
The hang-glider falls straight into tree branches. They appear to have been saved. SNAP! The branch braces off sending zack and mime bomb straight down. They fall about thirty feet hitting branches as they fall. They hit the ground hard and immediately start rolling down hill. Finally stopping when they hit pavement.
Zack "We lived, ha, ha, where gonna live. See mime bomb that wasn't do bad."
Mime bomb "That's it... I'm going to kill you!"
Mime bomb grabs zack by the neck and starts choking him.
Zack "Stop... I... can't... breathe..."
Mime bomb "That's the point!"
Mime bomb keeps strangling zack, who notices something.
Zack "Mime."
Mime bomb "You're going to die!"
Zack "Mime... look!"
Mime bomb turns around and releases zack from his grasp. Zack catches his breath. Both zack and mime bomb soon stand up, zack putting his arm around mime bomb.
Zack "We made it bud."
They start to walk to the white castle. They walk inside shirts all torn and tattered, there body's are scratched up. There covered in dirt. Everyone in the restaurant turns and stares at them. They approach the counter where a teenager is working.
Teenager "Looks like you guys had some night, huh?"
Zack "I want thirty sliders, five french fries, and for large charry cokes."
Mime bomb "Same. But make mine diet."
Zack "He'll have the same but make them diet."
Teenager "Wow, that comes to forty-two seventy-five."
Mime bomb takes out his wallet and opens it up only to find it empty.
Mime bomb "Hey, hey, where's my money?"
Zack "Are you kidding me I gave mine to that asshole at the ivy league. Fuck, no dude this isn't happening, alright we didn't make it here and now where broke!"
"Hey guys let me take care of it, least I can do." A man's voice says from behind them.
Zack and mime bomb turn around and see neil patric harris finishing his pop.
Zack "The hell you doing here?"
Neil "You guys where talking about white castle last night, so much made me start to crave it to."
Zack "Dude where's my car!?"
Mime bomb "Where's his car dude?"
Neil "Hehe, yeah sorry about that, I told you last night I was tripping hard I don't know what came over me, you're car's in the parking lot, here are your keys."
Zack "Do you realize what we had to go through after you stole are car?"
Neil "I know, it was a dick move on my part, that's why I'm paying for your meal."
Zack "Thanks I guess."
Neil hands them some cash.
Neil "Here's fifty bucks for the burger's and two hundred for the car."
Zack "What happened to my car?"
Neil "I made some... stains in the back seat, you'll see, anyway, take it easy guys, I'll see you around."
Zack "Where are you going?"
Neil "Where ever god takes me."
With that neil puts on his shades and walks out of the restaurant. Zack and mime bomb give each other a look of confusion before getting there food and sitting down. Zack and mime bomb are sitting across from each other looking and the mountain of food they have in front of them.
Zack "Wait, let's do it together."
Mime bomb nods and they both pick up a burger and take a bite, savoring the taste. We quickly see them scarf down two more burgers after that and the rest of their meal soon fallows.
Zack "That hit the spot."
Mime bomb "Best meal of my life."
Zack "Mine too."
The two of them sit there, looking at all the empty containers and wrappers. After a long pause of silence zack speaks.
Zack "You're names not don is it?"
Mime bomb "Nope."
Zack "Thought so. So what's the plan, you can't exactly go back to vile now can you?"
Mime bomb "I don't know, this night didn't go exactly as planned, hehe, I was hoping for ether a successful mission or at the very least escaping but, neither of those things happened. I don't know what to do.
Zack "Why don't you come join us?"
Mime bomb "Do you think carmen would let me?"
Zack "I don't see why not?"
Mime bomb "Heh, you don't know are past."
Zack "That bad huh?"
Mime bomb "I'm one of the reasons she was trapped at vile."
Zack "Ooh, so not good, but I'm sure if you explain you want to redeem yourself she might have go easy on you."
Mime bomb "You sure?"
Zack "Yeah I'm positive, now let's go check out the damage on my car."
Zack and mime clean up there table and head outside.
Zack clicks the unlock feature on his car and takes a look at it.
Zack "Sigh, I need a new car, not because of this just kind of in general."
Mime bomb "Why are you even drive this any way, I'd picture you'd guess drive something a bit more built for speed."
Zack "Yeah well for carmen it was ether the Subaru or a Saturn, sigh, come on let's go talk to carmen."
The end.