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i don't think that man knows what he's doing

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“Watch where you’re kicking!” Lupin shoves a leather boot out of his face as he tries to shift.

“Same to you, idiot!”

It is a very small safe.

“This is all your fault!” Lupin announces, not that this helps anything. It does make him feel a bit better, though.

“My fault? You’re the one who decided to tackle me while I was doing my teleportation spell!” Cagliostro kicks him again.

“Hey! How was I supposed to know you were doing your fancy magic?”

“I was reciting Latin, what did you think I was doing? Dio santo, I can’t believe it had to be you I got stuck with...”

Lupin has to admit (though not out loud, of course) that he has a point. “Well if you hadn’t been trying to steal the Diadem of Clytemnestra—”

“I saw it first! I need it for a ritual, what are you going to do with it?”

“I was planning to return it to Greece, like a responsible person!

“Two words that could never be used to describe you...”


“Will you stop yelling? You’re using up all the air.”

Lupin manages silence for about twenty seconds. “ can’t just teleport us out?”

Cagliostro sighs. “No,” he says reluctantly. “Much as I would be delighted to be rid of you, since you interrupted my spell and made me transport two people, it will take me at least another three hours to regain enough energy to do the spell again.”

“Shit.” Lupin snorts. “Some invincible master of time and spa—ow!”

“If you don’t shut up—”

“You’re the one who got us—”

Both of them gasp and shield their eyes at the sudden bright light as the top of the safe falls away with a grinding shriek.

“Once again I have cut a worthless object...” Goemon sighs as he sheathes his sword.

“Told you I thought it was too quiet,” Jigen laughs.

“Where’s the diadem?” Lupin demands as he starts to climb out.

“Fujiko ran off with the bling like an hour ago...”

Vai all’inferno!


Lupin yelps as Cagliostro grabs the back of his precious red jacket and pulls him down before vaulting over the severed wall of the safe.

“Get back here! I bet you don’t even have training in how to handle antiquities!”