Do you know that moment, that moment just before you wake up? That moment that if you stay perfectly still can last for a lifetime? Between sleeping and waking you drift, not yet part of the world and yet not fully apart from it either. Peace draped over you like a blanket, warm and gentle.
Stay still. Stay perfectly still, and that moment may last forever.
Stay still. Hold on to the last vestiges of the dream of a better future as it slips through your fingers like sand. Hold on to the memories, the laughter, the life you wish you could have had. The moments of joy they gave you that keep you warm even on the coldest night.
The dream you built like a castle on a sandy shore, fleeting, always, always going to be washed away by the tide. The strong waves, that rise without quarter. There is no way to stop them once they start to rise. You can throw yourself in front of your castle, try to stay the sea, but you’ll just get swallowed up along with it. Reality bites.
You can rebuild your castle, once it’s gone. Again and again and again, never thinking to move it. You’ve rebuilt your castle for the final time. And this time, it’s not your castle at all. You’re just here to defend it.
Stay still. Don’t open your eyes. Don’t let reality in. Not yet.
Feel his weight against your back, his solid warmth. Feel his breathing. Feel your own. In and out, feel your breath mingle, become one. Just for this moment. You are close, closer than brothers.
If only you could go back. Back to a time when you were happy. When he was happy. A moment that you’ve created in your dreams like a castle in the sand where the three of you can stay, forever. Where honour and duty do not exist.
Stay still. This moment can last forever. You and him, frozen in time. No more fighting. No more death. Just silence. It cannot last.
Stay perfectly still.